E1 - The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:09] Kirishima
    They've got some nerve,
    trying to start shit on our turf.
[00:16] Sugihara
    Kirishima-san, don't go too far overboard.
[00:22] Kirishima
    Lighten up, will ya?
[00:34] Kirishima
    Now, then...
[00:36] Kirishima
    Time to start another fun day of work.
[00:40] Sign
    Opening Soon
SIGN    Yae-chan goes to the Sakuragi Household
[00:47] Kanami
    Yae-chan, you're finally going to
    be able to live with your dad.
[00:52] Yaeka
    Yeah.
[00:53] Sign
    Sakuragi Yaeka
[00:53] Sign
    Crayons
[00:55] Kanami
    Your dad's been looking
    forward to living with you,
[00:59] Kanami
    so I'm sure he'll be very happy.
[01:05] Yaeka
    I'm looking forward to it, too.
[01:16] Kirishima
    Guess I can punch out for the day.
[01:26] Thug 1
    Die, Kirishima!
[01:30] Kirishima
    Oh?
[01:41] Kirishima
    Jeez...
[01:44] Kirishima
    Today was gonna be the day... I finally...
[01:50] Kirishima
    settled things peacefully... by talking!
SIGN    Sakuragi Family First Lieutenant
    Kirishima Toru (28 years old)
SIGN    Also known as
SIGN    "The Demon of Sakuragi"
SIGN    The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting
SIGN    Episode 1: The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting
[03:44] Sugihara
    You went too far this time, Kirishima-san.
[03:47] Sugihara
    You were like, "I'm gonna settle
     things peacefully today."
[03:50] Sugihara
    So what the heck happened to that?
SIGN    Sakuragi Family Second Lieutenant
     Sugihara Kei (23 years old)
[03:53] Kirishima
    Huh?
[03:57] Kirishima
    Well, they didn't wanna talk.
    What did you expect me to do?
[04:00] Kirishima
    We did what we were
    supposed to, so who cares?
[04:04] Sugihara
    Keep saying that and the boss is
    gonna get pretty pissed at you.
[04:16] Kirishima
    Whatever.
[04:18] Kirishima
    Dumbass.
[04:27] Sakuragi
    Hey, Kirishima.
SIGN    Head of the Sakuragi Family
    Sakuragi Kazuhiko (45 years old)
[04:32] Sakuragi
    You prepared to lose a finger or two?
[04:35] Kirishima
    Ah, you seem mad.
[04:38] Kirishima
    So what did you want to
    talk to me about, boss?
[04:40] Sakuragi
    Well, you always do excellent work.
[04:45] Sakurai
    It's even better that you
    never seem to feel remorse.
[04:48] Kirishima
    Aw, thank you, boss.
[04:51] Sakuragi
    That was sarcasm, you moron.
[04:53] Kirishima
    Huh?
[04:56] Sakuragi
    That said, your skills are the real deal.
[04:59] Sakuragi
    The fact that our family stays
    in order is proof of that.
[05:03] Sakuragi
    I'm giving you a job.
[05:05] Kirishima
    Does he want me to beat up some gorilla?
[05:08] Sakuragi
    Come in.
[05:13] Sakuragi
    This is my daughter, Yaeka.
SIGN    Sakuragi Yaeka (7 years old)
[05:17] Kirishima
    Uh... Yaeka-chan?
[05:22] Kirishima
    Oh! Hiya, little lady! You sure have grown!
[05:26] Kirishima
    You're adorable. Nothing like the boss.
[05:28] Sakuragi
    You sure love chasing the grim reaper.
[05:31] Kirishima
    So what's this job about?
[05:32] Sakuragi
    I'm about to tell you.
[05:34] Kirishima
    Ah.
[05:42] Sakuragi
    You're gonna be takin' care of Yaeka.
[05:46] Kirishima
    Huh? Taking care of her?
[05:49] Kirishima
    You want me to...
    take care of the little lady?
[05:52] Sakuragi
    You're too much of a free spirit,
    meaning you lack a sense of responsibility.
[05:56] Sakuragi
    From now on, you'll have to
    think about Yaeka at all times
[05:59] Sakuragi
    and take responsibility
    for all of your actions.
[06:02] Sakuragi
    If you decline, I'll kill you.
[06:04] Kirishima
    Wow, not even the slightest
    hesitation in that threat.
[06:10] Kirishima
    But seriously...
[06:12] Kirishima
    I'm the one who's gonna be looking
    after this tiny little girl, huh?
[06:23] Kirishima
    I'm honored to be by your side, little lady.
[06:29] Kirishima
    Yeah, this is gonna be a tough job, for sure.
[06:35] Sakuragi
    If you don't take this
    seriously, I'll kill you.
[06:37] Kirishima
    Maybe don't threaten
    to kill people so quickly?
[06:40] Sugihara
    He's going to be looking
    after the boss's daughter?
[06:43] Sugihara
    Seriously? Our Kirishima-san?
[06:48] Sugihara
    Wait. How old is the boss's
    daughter, anywa—
[06:51] Sugihara
    What?! She's literally a little girl!
[06:54] Sugihara
    There's no way this will work!
[06:55] Sugihara
    I mean... Just look at him.
[06:59] Sugihara
    This is clearly a deal with the devil...
[07:06] Kirishima
    Hey. Having fun out here, Sugihara?
SIGN    And then he groveled over and over.
[07:13] Sugihara
    I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
[07:25] Kirishima
    Your hair's so silky, little lady.
[07:42] Kirishima
    No, seriously...
[07:45] Kirishima
    It would've stayed gorgeous
    if I hadn't touched it...
[07:54] Yaeka
    Never mind. I'll leave my hair down today.
[07:59] Kirishima
    I guess it's a lot harder than it looks.
[08:06] Kirishima
    Sugihara.
[08:08] Sugihara
    No, no, you've got the wrong idea!
[08:10] Sugihara
    "I can't believe the Kirishima is having
    such a hard time with a little girl,"
[08:14] Sugihara
    is totally not what I'm thinking right now!
[08:16] Sugihara
    Huh?
[08:18] Kirishima
    Hey, you've got long hair.
[08:23] Kirishima
    Come with me a sec.
[08:25] Sugihara
    Stop! Don't pull it!
[08:27] Sugihara
    It'll rip out! I'll be bald!
[08:30] Sugihara
    So...
SIGN    Pigtails
[08:33] Sugihara
    What do you think?!
[08:34] Kirishima
    Well... it's harder to look at you
     than I thought it would be.
[08:39] Sugihara
    That's not what I'm asking here!
[08:41] Sugihara
    If you're not taking this
    seriously, I'm gonna go!
[08:51] Sugihara
    B-Boss! You've got the wrong idea!
[08:53] Sugihara
    Please don't look at me like I'm trash!
[08:58] Kirishima
    All right, shall we go?
[09:00] Sakuragi
    Don't you forget, Kirishima.
[09:03] Sakuragi
    If you act irresponsibly and
    something happens to Yaeka...
[09:06] Kirishima
    Don't fret so much.
    You're such a worrywart.
[09:10] Kirishima
    I'll get the job done.
[09:17] Kirishima
    Sure is a nice day today, little lady.
[09:23] Kirishima
    Of course this would happen.
[09:26] Kirishima
    Is school fun?
[09:29] Yaeka
    It's normal.
[09:31] Kirishima
    It's normal, huh?
[09:34] Kirishima
    Well, nothing beats that.
[09:43] Thug 1
    Check that out. Kirishima's
    got some brat with him.
[09:48] Thug 2
    If we can use the kid,
    we might be able to kill him.
[09:54] Kirishima
    God, they suck at following me.
[09:57] Kirishima
    Talk about annoying.
[10:00] Kirishima
    Should I take care of 'em?
[10:04] Kirishima
    But doing that in front of
    the little lady would be, uh...
[10:13] Kirishima
    Little lady. Hey, little lady.
[10:19] Kirishima
    Let's play red light, green light.
[10:21] Yaeka
    Huh?
[10:23] Kirishima
    A couple of my buddies
    are hiding back there.
[10:26] Kirishima
    They're too shy to come out on
    their own, so I'll bring them over.
[10:29] Kirishima
    We'll start when we get
    to that electrical pole.
[10:32] Kirishima
    I'll need you to start.
[10:36] Yaeka
    Mm.
[10:43] Kirishima
    Yup, just a little bit more.
[10:46] Yaeka
    Red light...
[10:48] Thugs
    Kirishima?!
[10:53] Yaeka
    Green light!
[10:58] Kirishima
    Welp, looks like I win.
[11:08] Sfx
    Glare...
[11:09] Yaeka
    You liar.
[11:11] Kirishima
    Huh?
[11:13] Yaeka
    There's no one else here.
[11:16] Kirishima
    Aw, you've got it all wrong.
[11:19] Kirishima
    They were just too embarrassed,
    so they went home.
[11:22] Yaeka
    Liar.
SIGN    The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting
[11:35] Kirishima
    Little lady, ready to go to school?
[11:40] Kirishima
    What's got you all freaked out?
[11:42] Kirishima
    Is there a bug—
[11:43] Yaeka
    No!
[11:45] Kirishima
    Huh?
[11:46] Yaeka
    You can't come in!
[11:49] Kirishima
    Little lady...
[11:53] Kirishima
    You forgot your school bag.
[11:57] Sfx
    Pout...
[11:59] Kirishima
    Don't worry about it, little lady.
    Everyone messes up once in a while.
[12:06] Kanami
    Morning, Yae-chan.
SIGN    Yaeka's Aunt
     Kurosaki Kanami (33 years old)
[12:08] Kanami
    Are you heading to school?
[12:11] Kirishima
    Kanami-san. What brings you here today?
[12:13] Kanami
    I brought Yae-chan a little gift.
    Eat it when you get home, okay?
[12:17] Yaeka
    Okay.
[12:18] Kirishima
    Is the shop closed today?
[12:19] Kanami
    We're opening at noon today.
[12:24] Kirishima
    Why don't we head to school?
[12:28] Kirishima
    What's wrong, little lady?
[12:31] Kirishima
    Kanami-san, I'll be right back.
[12:35] Kirishima
    Little lady!
[12:38] Kanami
    I wanted to see how your adventures
    in babysitting were going,
[12:41] Kanami
    but Yae-chan seemed down.
[12:44] Kanami
    Did something happen?
[12:46] Kirishima
    I don't think anything happened in particular.
[12:49] Sugihara
    Isn't the little lady usually like that?
[12:53] Kanami
    Of course not.
[12:55] Kanami
    She just doesn't usually
     show how she's feeling.
[12:58] Kirishima
    Well, I guess she did yell at me to
     not come into her room this morning.
[13:04] Kanami
    What? Yae-chan said that?
[13:07] Sugihara
    Were you spying on her while
    she was changing or something?
[13:10] Kirishima
    Whoops. My hand slipped.
[13:12] Sugihara
    That's hot!
[13:14] Kirishima
    By the way, Kanami-san, you brought
    the little lady a gift, didn't you?
[13:16] Sugihara
    Actually, it's not hot,
    but you shouldn't do that!
[13:19] Kanami
    Y-Yeah.
[13:22] Kanami
    This.
[13:23] Kirishima
    Ooh, those are some
    good-looking rolled omelets.
[13:28] Kanami
    Yae-chan loves them, so I thought
    they'd make her happy.
[13:32] Kanami
    I wonder what's going on with her.
[13:46] Sugihara
    Kirishima-san? Where are you going?
[13:59] Kanami
    What's that?
[14:00] Kirishima
    The little lady hid it this morning.
[14:02] Sign
    To our parents and guardians
SIGN    Fuyutsuki Elementary School
    Principal
[14:02] Sign
    Open House Announcement
[14:02] Sign
    I hope this letter finds you in good health. Thank you for all of the help
     and cooperation you've given Fuyutsuki Elementary School.
    We will be hosting an open house on the date and time listed below.
    We realize this may cause some inconvenience, but we do hope to see you at our school.
SIGN    ... starting at 1:40 PM
[14:04] Kirishima
    Well, this is, uh...
[14:05] Kanami
    That's this afternoon.
[14:08] Kirishima
    Considering she hid it, I don't
     think she just forgot about it.
[14:13] Kanami
    I'm pretty sure it's not that
    she doesn't want you to come.
[14:16] Kirishima
    What do you mean?
[14:17] Kanami
    She showed me one of these before,
    but I couldn't take the day off.
[14:24] Kanami
    She didn't complain,
    but I remember her looking really sad.
[14:30] Kirishima
    I see.
[14:31] Kirishima
    So the little lady was briefly happy this
    morning because she thought you were off.
[14:37] Kanami
    Oh, I'm so sorry, Yae-chan!
[14:40] Kanami
    Well, now we know why she's sad,
[14:44] Kanami
    but why was she so desperate
    to hide that from you?
[14:48] Kirishima
    Probably because to the little lady,
    I'm actually a stranger.
[14:53] Kirishima
    Open houses like this are
    for you or the boss to go to,
[14:57] Kirishima
    because you're her family.
[15:00] Kirishima
    But her family can't go.
[15:04] Kirishima
    Since she figured that out,
    she didn't say anything.
[15:07] Sign
    Is dying to go, but can't...
[15:08] Kirishima
    Though... I'm sure it would
    cause problems if he did go.
[15:12] Kanami
    Yeah...
[15:15] Kirishima
    Now, then... How am I gonna cheer
    the little lady up when she gets home?
[15:19] Kanami
    Toru-kun!
[15:25] Kirishima
    Uh...
[15:30] Teacher
    Today, for our drawing class,
    why don't we draw our favorite plants?
SIGN    "Favorite Plants"
[15:34] Kids
    Okay!
[15:35] Girl 1
    Is your mommy here?
[15:37] Girl 2
    She is!
[15:39] Teacher
    Make sure you still do your best in class,
    even with your moms and dads here.
[15:43] Kids
    Okay!
[15:46] Sakuragi
    Listen carefully, Yaeka.
[15:48] (Flashback) Sakuragi
    There's a good chance I won't be
    able to grant most of your wishes.
[15:54] (Flashback) Sakuragi
    But that doesn't mean you
    can't have those wishes.
[15:59] (Flashback) Sakuragi
    You don't have to hold yourself back.
[16:10] Teacher
    Parents and guardians, please
    feel free to come take a look.
[16:14] Girl 2
    Look, Mommy!
[16:16] Mother 1
    What did you draw?
[16:18] Boy 1
    Mama, look at this!
[16:21] Mother 2
    That's lovely.
[16:27] Child mob
    Mama!
[16:29] Child mob
    Mommy!
[16:37] Kirishima
    That's very good.
[16:42] Kirishima
    Is that a cherry tree?
[16:46] Yaeka
    Kiri...shima?
[16:53] Kirishima
    That's the flower on the boss's back.
[16:56] Kirishima
    It's one of my favorites, too.
[17:01] Kirishima
    Aw, she hid?
[17:03] Mother 1
    What a handsome father.
[17:05] Mother 2
    Aw, she's embarrassed. How cute.
[17:07] Kirishima
    Honestly, I'm the one who wants to hide.
[17:10] Kirishima
    I'm so friggin' embarrassed right now.
[17:12] Kirishima
    Little la—
[17:14] Kirishima
    Yaeka-chan?
[17:19] Yaeka
    You're so weird.
[17:22] Girl 1
    Is this your daddy, Yae-chan?
[17:25] Yaeka
    No.
[17:27] Yaeka
    My daddy's way more handsome.
[17:30] Mother 1
    Sounds complicated.
[17:31] Mother 2
    Is that her stepdad?
[17:32] Kirishima
    No, that's not... I mean, it's
    complicated, but that's not it...
[17:36] Kirishima
    Give me a break, little lady...
[17:47] Kirishima
    Little lady.
[17:49] Kirishima
    What's the matter? Why are you just
    standing in front of the boss's room?
[17:54] Kirishima
    Are you going to give him
    your drawing as a present?
[17:58] Yaeka
    Mm.
[18:01] Yaeka
    But I don't know what to do.
[18:05] Kirishima
    Huh?
[18:07] Yaeka
    I don't know if it'll make Daddy happy.
[18:14] Kirishima
    Down we go.
[18:17] Kirishima
    It's always pretty scary wondering if
    something you do will make someone happy.
[18:25] Kirishima
    I felt the same way at that open house.
[18:28] Yaeka
    Huh?
[18:29] Kirishima
    I was wondering if you'd
    be happy I showed up.
[18:33] Kirishima
    I didn't know what I'd do if it didn't go well.
[18:37] Kirishima
    I was nervous,
[18:39] Kirishima
    but now you're talking to me,
    so I'm glad I went.
[18:46] Kirishima
    So I'm sure the fact that you want
    to make the boss happy
[18:50] Kirishima
    will get through to him.
[18:52] Yaeka
    Kirishima...
[19:03] Yaeka
    I'm going to give this to Daddy.
[19:17] Yaeka
    I drew that in art class.
    You can have it, Daddy.
[19:23] Yaeka
    I like cherry blossoms
    because it's in our name, too,
[19:26] Yaeka
    so I drew this because
    I wanted you to see it.
[19:32] Sakuragi
    You did a great job.
[19:37] Sakuragi
    Thanks for this, Yaeka.
[19:42] Yaeka
    Yup.
[19:46] Kirishima
    Well, that wasn't like me at all.
[19:51] (Flashback) Kanami
    You should go to the open house, Toru-kun!
[19:54] (Flashback) Kirishima
    Huh?
[19:56] (Flashback) Kirishima
    Why would a stranger like me go?
[19:58] (Flashback) Kanami
    I know you just got put
    in charge of caring for her,
[20:01] (Flashback) Kanami
    so you might still feel like strangers...
[20:04] (Flashback) Kanami
    But just like you just found out
    what her favorite food is,
[20:07] (Flashback) Kanami
    you two can keep finding out things
     you don't know about each other.
[20:13] (Flashback) Kanami
    I firmly believe that family
    isn't always bound by blood.
[20:18] (Flashback) Kanami
    Which means that someday,
[20:20] (Flashback) Kanami
    you'll be able to be part
    of Yae-chan's family, too.
[20:27] Kirishima
    That's definitely gonna
    be easier said than done.
[20:31] Yaeka
    Are you still here?
[20:37] Kirishima
    What can I do for you?
[20:40] Yaeka
    Kirishima, I was happy that
     you came to my open house.
[20:45] Yaeka
    Thank you.
[20:49] Kirishima
    Sure. You're very welcome.
[21:23] Sign
    Sakuragi Miyuki-sama
[23:14] Mashiro
    The Demon of the Sakuragi Family.
[23:17] Mashiro
    The Yakuza Slayer.
[23:23] Mashiro
    I wonder what side of Kirishima-kun
    I'll be able to encounter next.
SIGN    Next Time: A Kind Person
SIGN    The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting