E1 - Are We Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] ---
    "Cong..."
[00:06] ---
    "...grat..."
[00:09] ---
    "...tula..."
[00:11] ---
    "...tions"
[00:14] ---
    "Congratulations" "As a charismatic
    Let's Player, you have been chosen to participate
    in a closed stage of The Ones Within - Genome."
[00:16] ---
    "This privilege cannot be
    transferred or retracted."
[00:21] ---
    "Congratulations"
[00:25] ---
    "We will come get you."
[00:29] ---
    Whoa...
[00:32] ---
    Are you serious?
[00:49] ---
    Huh?
[01:00] ---
    Um...
[01:03] ---
    When you find someone collapsed...
[01:05] ---
    One. Call out to them.
[01:07] ---
    "1) Call out to them"
    Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am!
[01:10] ---
    "2) Check for pulse and breathing"
    Two. Check for pulse and breathing.
[01:14] ---
    Let me check your neck for a pulse...
[01:18] ---
    Oh, thank goodne--
[01:22] ---
    Wh-What are you, some pervert?!
[01:25] ---
    Wh-Whoa, calm down...
[01:28] ---
    My name's Akatsuki Iride.
[01:31] ---
    I'm not anyone shushpicious.
[01:33] ---
    You are in anyone's book!
[01:37] ---
    Where in the world are we?
[01:40] ---
    That's what I'd like to know, too.
[01:44] ---
    If you're a perverted mountain climber
    that happens to be a big liar,
[01:48] ---
    this all makes perfect sense.
[01:50] ---
    Could you please stop with the speculation?
[01:53] ---
    The thing is, I'm pretty sure
    I've heard your voice before.
[01:58] ---
    I have full confidence in my memory.
[02:01] ---
    I never forget stuff once I take it in, but...
[02:05] ---
    Anyway, let's hurry and
    find a phone or the police.
[02:09] ---
    If we don't get off this mountain before
    it gets dark and a bear shows up...
[02:16] ---
    Huh?!
[02:28] ---
    Wh-What the--?
[02:30] ---
    Shh! It hasn't found us yet.
[02:33] ---
    Let's wait it out here.
[02:37] ---
    If it finds us, we don't stand a chance.
[02:41] ---
    Achoo!
[02:53] ---
    Idiot! Why couldn't you hold it in?!
[02:55] ---
    Sorry! I'm not proud of it, but...
[02:58] ---
    ...I've got pretty much every
    pollen allergy in Japan.
[03:01] ---
    You're right! You shouldn't be proud!
[03:08] ---
    Wha--?!
[03:21] ---
    A-A rat?
[03:23] ---
    Greetings, you two.
[03:25] ---
    What are you standing around for?
[03:27] ---
    You just need to smash their eyes.
[03:29] ---
    Huh?
[03:30] ---
    Go for their eyes. Smash or gouge them out.
[03:34] ---
    They're surprisingly easy to beat.
[03:37] ---
    I'll lend you this.
[03:39] ---
    I-I'm not cut out for this!
[03:41] ---
    The boy can do his best unarmed...
[03:48] ---
    Why the hell did you try
    running off by yourself?!
[03:51] ---
    I-It's all a misunderstanding!
[04:06] ---
    Hello there.
[04:12] ---
    Your face sure is huge!
[04:14] ---
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[04:20] ---
    Pardon me while I feel your paws!
[04:22] ---
    Seriously, what are you doing?
[04:25] ---
    I've always wanted to touch a panda!
[04:28] ---
    And his paw is oh so soothing!
[04:32] ---
    Don't be soothed!
[04:43] ---
    Y-You idiot!
[04:55] ---
    Do you have allergies, too?
[04:59] ---
    There's nothing to be afraid of!
[05:02] ---
    Did you see his eyes when we were running?
[05:05] ---
    They weren't looking down towards us at all.
[05:08] ---
    He's probably just on a walk or something.
[05:12] ---
    He was never after us from the start.
[05:15] ---
    Isn't that right?
[05:19] ---
    Pandarou?
[05:25] ---
    It's impressive how you noticed
    in that sort of situation.
[05:29] ---
    Excellent. Splendid.
[05:32] ---
    To think you'd clear
    the first game so quickly...
[05:37] ---
    Nice to meet you. I supervise 13th Avenue
    of The Ones Within - Genome.
[05:42] ---
    My name is Paka.
[05:45] ---
    Stage 1 was "Animal Battle."
[05:47] ---
    To clear it, you must defeat the
    gigantic creatures coming for you, but...
[05:55] ---
    What a surprise from the escape
    game Let's Player, Mr. Iride.
[05:59] ---
    I've never seen anyone
    befriend the panda before.
[06:03] ---
    How very intriguing.
[06:07] ---
    New play styles can draw in and
    fascinate the hearts of viewers...
[06:12] ---
    ...resulting in a tremendous
    surge of total views.
[06:16] ---
    I'm expecting great things from you.
[06:19] ---
    Please, everyone.
    Take a look at your left wrist.
[06:27] ---
    Huh?
[06:29] ---
    Ew, what's this?
[06:31] ---
    It won't come off.
[06:32] ---
    That's an epidermal counter.
[06:34] ---
    We embedded you with nanochips
    while you were asleep.
[06:38] ---
    It's linked with the main server in the tower...
[06:41] ---
    ...and displays the view count in real time.
[06:45] ---
    View count, did you say?
[06:47] ---
    Indeed. Is the term not
    one you're familiar with?
[06:51] ---
    That includes you two as well.
[06:53] ---
    Sengoku Let's Player, Mr. Onigasaki.
[06:56] ---
    Horror Let's Player, Ms. Sarayashiki.
[06:59] ---
    Hey... I never told you my name.
[07:02] ---
    Who are you?
[07:03] ---
    Take that off and show your face.
[07:05] ---
    No thank you! It's too embarrassing!
[07:12] ---
    All you 13th Avenue people are so impatient.
[07:16] ---
    Let me get straight to the point.
[07:18] ---
    There is only one thing you must
    accomplish while you're here:
[07:22] ---
    To make that counter reach
    100,000,000... In other words,
[07:26] ---
    you must reach 100,000,000 views...
[07:29] ---
    ...during this live stream of
    The Ones Within - Genome.
[07:33] ---
    Furthermore, your play time is infinite.
[07:38] ---
    I urge you to play as if
    your life depends on it.
[07:52] ---
    "The Ones Within"
[09:16] ---
    "Day Duty" "Akatsuki Iride"
    "Karin Sarayashiki" "Nei"
[09:17] ---
    "Day Duty" "Akatsuki Iride"
    "Karin Sarayashiki" "Nei"
    Now then...
[09:18] ---
    Let's introduce the comrades you'll
    experience pain and pleasure with.
[09:22] ---
    Puffy, puffy.
[09:24] ---
    Starting at the window, say your name
    and game specialty in a lively voice.
[09:30] ---
    Okay! Nice to meet you! I'm Akatsuki Iride!
[09:33] ---
    I specialize in escape games!
[09:36] ---
    I like nature, vacations, and paws of all types!
[09:39] ---
    You're too happy!
[09:41] ---
    S-Sensei said to be lively...
[09:43] ---
    Have you no sense of danger?
[09:45] ---
    Don't forget he abducted all of us!
[09:48] ---
    The next seat please.
[09:50] ---
    I-I'm Himiko Inaba.
[09:52] ---
    I like nurturing games.
[09:54] ---
    I'm actually very passionate about
    watching your soft-spoken streams.
[10:00] ---
    It's such an honor as a fan
    to hear your voice in person.
[10:04] ---
    Do you think you could possibly
    whisper something to me?
[10:07] ---
    "I love Mr. Paka," into my ear?
[10:16] ---
    It's not your turn yet, Mr. Kudou.
[10:20] ---
    Screw these introductions.
    Let us go free already.
[10:24] ---
    Mr. Kudou, I told you that violence
    towards me is against the rules.
[10:30] ---
    You'll be punished if this keeps up.
[10:33] ---
    Go ahead then. Try me.
[10:37] ---
    Be very careful eating
    your meals starting tonight.
[10:42] ---
    I'm putting lots of peppers in them.
[10:45] ---
    That's nothing!
[10:48] ---
    Um, that was Anya Kudou.
[10:51] ---
    He's a Let's Player specializing
    in fighting games.
[10:54] ---
    Next up is me.
[10:57] ---
    Yuzu Roromori. Puzzle games, mazes,
    and speed runs are my thing.
[11:02] ---
    My hobby is researching tropical plants.
[11:05] ---
    Yuzu?
[11:06] ---
    Are you Yuzu from
    Rororo's Speedrun Channel?
[11:10] ---
    I'm Akki from the Hay Fever Channel.
[11:13] ---
    Oh, Akki!
[11:16] ---
    Oh, wow. You were abducted, too?
[11:18] ---
    You know her?
[11:20] ---
    Yup!
[11:21] ---
    "Bury myself in leaves at a park stream"
    We got along last year during a
    "Bury myself in leaves at a park stream."
[11:25] ---
    "Bury myself in leaves at a park stream"
    Okay, I've heard enough.
[11:29] ---
    I'm Karen Sarayashiki.
[11:31] ---
    I do horror Let's Plays.
[11:34] ---
    Got a problem with that?
[11:36] ---
    Ms. Sarayashiki is such a cool one.
[11:39] ---
    That's the "♪1 girl streamer people
    want to get stepped on by" for you.
[11:43] ---
    When you play, you're so--
[11:44] ---
    Shut it or you'll be a fur coat.
[11:46] ---
    Next row, please.
[11:48] ---
    Zakuro Oshigiri. I play stealth games.
[11:52] ---
    Can we get this dumb stunt over with?
[11:55] ---
    That depends on how hard you all work.
[11:58] ---
    I already know we're all streamers
    that Let's Played The Ones Within.
[12:03] ---
    But why did you choose us?
    What comes after 100,000,000 views?
[12:07] ---
    What's your true objective?
[12:10] ---
    Neigh...
[12:12] ---
    Neigh?
[12:14] ---
    Neigh!
[12:17] ---
    Not going to spill your secrets easily, huh?
[12:20] ---
    Uh, Zak... I think he's just
    screwing with you, meow!
[12:24] ---
    I'm Kaikoku Onigasaki.
[12:26] ---
    I mostly do Sengoku
    and Japanese-style games.
[12:30] ---
    Nice to meet you.
[12:31] ---
    Thank you, Mr. Onigasaki.
[12:35] ---
    Last but not least, Mr. Aikawa.
[12:43] ---
    Hmm?
[12:50] ---
    Mr. Aikawa!
[12:52] ---
    A-All right, then...
[12:54] ---
    "Personal History" "Makino Aikawa"
    "Feb 14, 1998"
    He's Makino Aikawa...
[12:56] ---
    "Personal History" "Makino Aikawa"
    "Feb 14, 1998"
    ...a dating sim player who uses his eyes
    to conquer rather than words.
[13:02] ---
    However, like his streams of very few words,
[13:05] ---
    it's exceedingly rare
    for him to speak at length.
[13:09] ---
    That ain't no stream!
[13:11] ---
    In any case, everyone has
    now been introduced.
[13:14] ---
    We will begin the election for Stage 2.
[13:17] ---
    Huh? Wait. You haven't explained...
[13:20] ---
    Paka. Paka.
[13:21] ---
    "Stage 2"
    Stage 2. "Ouija Exchange."
    Four players needed.
[13:26] ---
    "Stage 2"
    These straws you'll be drawing
    I stayed up late to make.
[13:27] ---
    These straws you'll be drawing
    I stayed up late to make.
[13:30] ---
    The people who draw the Paka straws--
[13:32] ---
    Screw you! How about you shove those--
[13:34] ---
    Oh? Do you wish to retire?
[13:37] ---
    In that case, you'd be disqualified...
[13:42] ---
    ...and imprisoned in the "White Room"
    on the lowest floor of Genome Tower.
[13:48] ---
    Alone you would stay until
    the others reach 100,000,000 views.
[13:52] ---
    In that secret, cramped room,
    you'll wait for eternity.
[13:58] ---
    This is someone from the past who
    complained too much, just like you.
[14:03] ---
    All while never knowing
    that his friends had failed,
[14:07] ---
    he waited for their arrival,
    on and on and on...
[14:18] ---
    Oh?
[14:20] ---
    Don't you think that was a bit in poor taste?
[14:24] ---
    One bit of advice...
[14:27] ---
    You all would do well to understand
    the situation you're currently in.
[14:32] ---
    Injury and death are real possibilities
    because this is a real Let's Play.
[14:39] ---
    In the real world, do you think
    there are resets and save points?
[14:46] ---
    Now then, let us get back to
    deciding the players for Stage 2.
[14:51] ---
    Mr. Paka?
[14:54] ---
    Are we allowed to volunteer?
[15:02] ---
    Hey...
[15:04] ---
    You're totally an idiot, aren't you?
[15:06] ---
    Naw, he's a moron.
[15:08] ---
    I can't help my curiosity.
[15:10] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    Akatsuki Iridiot.
[15:12] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    Name change: White-hair wacko.
[15:14] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    It looks like we're together again, Karin.
[15:17] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    Would you shut it? I've got the worst of luck.
[15:20] ---
    In any case, we've got no choice now.
[15:23] ---
    That's right.
[15:24] ---
    "Yes" "No"
[15:31] ---
    Hey, what are you doing?
[15:36] ---
    You think I'm doing that? You're all idiots.
[15:39] ---
    I ain't listening to that jerk.
[15:42] ---
    Who the hell plays Ouija?
    I'm not some grade-schooler brat.
[15:46] ---
    That's exactly how a brat would act.
[15:49] ---
    Eh?
[15:52] ---
    Are you that against it?
[15:54] ---
    Mmm?
[15:55] ---
    All you've got to do is touch it with
    the tip of your finger. Pretty please?
[16:00] ---
    Hell no.
[16:01] ---
    What about if I eat all those
    peppers you're getting?
[16:10] ---
    It's moving on its own! Awesome!
[16:12] ---
    H-How does this even work?
[16:15] ---
    Hey, which one of you is pushing it?
[16:17] ---
    Be quiet. The spirit is saying their wish.
[16:22] ---
    "Wa."
[16:23] ---
    "Ter."
[16:24] ---
    "Please."
[16:25] ---
    Water?
[16:27] ---
    I think there was a tap in the hallway.
[16:30] ---
    Don't! You can't remove your finger!
[16:32] ---
    If we don't do it in the right order,
    the spirit won't leave and it'll possess you!
[16:38] ---
    Oh...
[16:40] ---
    Um, could we just use the vase?
[16:47] ---
    "Yes."
[16:48] ---
    I think we got it.
[16:50] ---
    W-Wow. This is easier than I thought.
[16:53] ---
    It's moving again.
[16:54] ---
    "Yes" "No"
[16:58] ---
    "Friend."
[17:00] ---
    This suddenly turned into life counseling.
[17:03] ---
    They don't have any friends?
[17:05] ---
    Friends aren't something
    you get. They're made.
[17:08] ---
    What's this guy think he's saying?
[17:15] ---
    Would you two cut it out?
[17:17] ---
    --Shuddap.
    --Get a grip. You're unbelievable.
[17:19] ---
    --In that case, do you want
    to be friends with me?
    --Get a grip. You're unbelievable.
[17:22] ---
    My name's Akatsuki Iride.
[17:24] ---
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[17:26] ---
    "Yes" "No"
[17:28] ---
    It said okay!
[17:32] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    Dummy! You're a moron!
[17:35] ---
    "Stage 2" "Ouija Exchange"
    "Grant the spirit's three wishes
    and obtain 'Chromosome 01.'"
    Dumoron!
[17:40] ---
    Only one more.
[17:44] ---
    "Yes" "No"
[17:45] ---
    "A."
[17:47] ---
    "Ka."
[17:49] ---
    "Tsu."
[17:52] ---
    "Ki."
[17:54] ---
    What are we supposed to do now?
[18:02] ---
    Wait... What are you doing?
[18:04] ---
    U-Um, I'm being pulled by something...
[18:10] ---
    --It's doing it on its own! Wh-Whoa!
[18:11] ---
    --What do we do now?
    --It's doing it on its own! Wh-Whoa!
[18:13] ---
    Hey, occult girl!
[18:18] ---
    Tsk. You're useless.
[18:21] ---
    Listen here! Not everyone who
    likes horror is good with ghosts!
[18:25] ---
    Some people like horror but
    not when it happens to them!
[18:28] ---
    I'm perfectly fine though!
[18:30] ---
    R-Right.
[18:34] ---
    Hey... You know what floor we're on?
[18:38] ---
    Akatsuki!
[18:50] ---
    Behind you.
[18:51] ---
    Someone's there.
[19:07] ---
    Wh-What?! What's that?
[19:09] ---
    Ghost! His ghost came back already!
[19:12] ---
    Oh, sorry. I'm still alive.
[19:23] ---
    Whew, that was something!
[19:25] ---
    My stomach hasn't dropped
    like that in a while.
[19:27] ---
    Go fall!
[19:35] ---
    What's wrong?
[19:36] ---
    Um, there's someone behind you.
[19:41] ---
    The hell? How'd you get in here?
[20:00] ---
    Are you...
[20:04] ---
    ...that spirit just now?
[20:10] ---
    Well, who are you?
[20:12] ---
    Do you mind telling me your name?
[20:23] ---
    Thank you... for the water.
[20:26] ---
    You're welcome.
[20:31] ---
    Will you... be my friend?
[20:34] ---
    Of course.
[20:36] ---
    I'm glad.
[20:38] ---
    Then... come with me.
[20:42] ---
    Let's burn up together.
[20:44] ---
    Won't you come...
[20:46] ---
    ...and die with me?
[20:54] ---
    See? You'll soon forget about me...
[21:03] ---
    You liar.
[21:07] ---
    She's burning everything!
[21:09] ---
    Get away, Iride! Iride! Iride!
[21:31] ---
    We can be friends.
[21:38] ---
    But I...
[21:41] ---
    ...can't go with you right now.
[21:46] ---
    I've never broke a promise that I've made.
[21:53] ---
    Once it's all over...
[21:57] ---
    ...I promise.
[22:19] ---
    Good morning, Kudou.
[22:21] ---
    That's gross. Call me Anya.
[22:25] ---
    Himiko!
[22:30] ---
    The rest of you were waiting in the theater?
[22:33] ---
    Yeah. I'm glad you're all okay.
[22:44] ---
    What? Quit your staring.
[22:48] ---
    Don't you think it's strange?
[22:51] ---
    To clear it so suddenly...
[22:54] ---
    Don't you dare lose that.
    I'm not doing that all over again.
[22:59] ---
    Also, I probably should apologize.
[23:04] ---
    For what?
[23:06] ---
    For smacking you when we first met.
[23:08] ---
    Oh, it's fine.
[23:10] ---
    You're not mad?
[23:12] ---
    Not at all.
[23:13] ---
    Why not?
[23:20] ---
    Actually, I don't get upset by most things.
[23:26] ---
    Are you serious?
[23:28] ---
    I knew it... You're weird after all.