E3 - The Evil Magistrate Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] All three
Hello there!
[00:05] Kana
Bull's-eye!
[00:06] All three
Nin-nin!
[00:07] All three
We're Bullet Kunoichi!
[00:09] Chitose
We're gonna let loose!
[00:10] Iroha
Ooh!
[00:11] Kana
You know, I've been thinking...
[00:13] Iroha
About what?
[00:14] Kana
I was about to tell you!
[00:16] Iroha
Oh, my bad.
[00:18] Kana
So I've been thinking about how tough it must
be for people who take over a family business.
[00:24] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:24] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:25] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:25] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:27] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:28] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:29] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:29] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:31] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:31] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:33] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:33] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:34] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:36] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:37] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:37] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:37] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:39] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:40] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:41] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:42] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:43] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:44] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:44] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:46] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:47] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[00:48] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[00:49] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[00:50] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[00:51] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[00:51] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[00:52] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[00:54] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[00:55] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[00:55] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[00:56] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[00:58] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[00:58] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:00] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:00] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:02] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:03] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:03] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:05] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:05] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:07] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:07] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:09] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:10] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:12] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:12] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:14] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:16] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:17] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:20] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:23] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:26] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:27] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:30] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:30] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:35] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:35] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:44] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:44] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:47] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:47] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:52] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Evil Magistrate Chapter
[01:58] Seiji
All right. Ready?
[02:00] Seiji
Start!
[02:01] Mako
Ugh!
[02:02] Miyu
Guts!
[02:03] Yayoi
Heavy...
[02:03] Kana
Hngh!
[02:05] Yuina
No way!
[02:05] Kana
Uwah!
SIGN Winner
[02:10] Iroha
Ooh!
[02:11] Chitose
All right, ya got it!
[02:12] Kana
Oh yeah!
[02:13] Yayoi
We lost.
[02:14] Miyu
Check it out! Ibaraki wins!
[02:16] Hina
Oh boy. What right do people from
Ibaraki have to win anything?
[02:20] Misao
They have every right!
[02:22] Seiji
Hmm. It's settled, then.
[02:24] Seiji
The teams appearing on the variety show
are Akudare Kingdom and Bullet Kunoichi.
[02:28] Yayoi
TV? That's so cool. I wish we could go, too.
[02:32] Seiji
That's just how it is.
[02:33] Seiji
The program said they
can only use two teams.
[02:37] Seiji
You haven't even qualified for
the Teppen Grand Prix yet,
[02:40] Seiji
so just be grateful you even
had a chance to get on TV.
[02:44] Yomogi
Don't worry about it.
[02:44] Yuzu
I'm sure we'll get another chance.
[02:47] Hikari
We have a visitor.
[02:48] Hikari
It's for Chitose-chan
from Bullet Kunoichi.
[02:50] Chitose
For me?
[02:52] Chitose
Oh...
[02:55] Reporter
We're from Monthly Comedy Road.
Are you Amano Chitose-san?
[02:58] Chitose
Yeah...
[03:00] Iroha
Huh?
[03:02] Iroha
I'm home.
[03:04] Kana
Welcome back.
[03:06] Kana
Do you know who came to see Chitose-senpai?
[03:08] Iroha
No, I don't.
[03:10] Iroha
What the heck are you doing?
[03:12] Kana
Well you know, I just realized that
going on TV could be really risky.
[03:17] Iroha
What do you mean?
[03:18] Kana
They say there are three people in the
world who look just like you, right?
[03:22] Kana
What if, just what if, one of the people
who looks like me is a mafia don?
[03:26] Kana
If that person gets assassinated,
[03:29] Kana
and the organization starts looking
for a new boss to replace them...
[03:33] Kana
Hello there!
[03:34] Mafia
She is the boss!
[03:36] Kana
They'll rope me into being
an organized crime boss!
[03:39] Iroha
That makes sense.
[03:40] Kana
But I don't wanna!
[03:41] Kana
So yeah, I think I gotta
learn to protect myself.
[03:45] Iroha
Hmm. I like your resolve.
[03:48] Iroha
If that's what you're doing,
I think I can help.
[03:50] Kana
Really? Thanks, Iroha-senpai!
[03:52] Iroha
Strength comes from the hips and legs!
[03:54] Iroha
Start off with some Bulgarian squats!
[03:58] Chitose
I'm home.
[03:59] Kana
Eek! My legs are wobbling!
[04:02] Chitose
What are you doing?
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
[04:05] Hina
Girls, Girls, Girls.
[04:07] Hina
The girls' variety program that
features all the latest girls.
[04:10] Misao
And this time they're featuring
the girls of comedy.
[04:14] Misao
That's why they reached out to us.
[04:16] Hina
I've never heard of this show.
[04:17] Misao
Sounds like it only airs late
night in the Kansai region.
[04:20] Misao
It ain't for folks from Ibaraki.
[04:22] Hina
It says the girls compete
in different mini-games,
[04:25] Hina
and whoever's funniest gets to sing a song.
[04:29] Hina
Why a song?
[04:30] Misao
No clue. But going on a variety show?
[04:33] Misao
I get nervous just thinking about it.
[04:36] Misao
Don't you, Miyu?
[04:37] Misao
Miyu? What's wrong?
[04:41] Miyu
It says the evening reruns of
Mito Komon Neo are ending this week!
[04:46] Misao
Seriously?!
[04:47] Misao
Ibaraki is famous for Mito Komon Neo!
[04:48] Misao
It's a show with more than
fifty years of history!
[04:51] Miyu
Those nincompoops!
[04:53] Miyu
It was always my dream
to become a big producer
[04:56] Miyu
and make a Hollywood version
of Mito Komon Neo!
[04:59] Misao
I don't think there's much Mito to that!
[05:02] Miyu
If the reruns stop, Komon-sama's
popularity will drop.
[05:06] Miyu
And then the Hollywood version
goes from greenlit to yellowlit.
[05:09] Hina
I don't think it was ever
on the traffic light at all.
[05:11] Misao
Hmph. But I never expected
Mito Komon Neo to end.
[05:16] Misao
Why, all of a sudden?
[05:17] Hina
Oh. Maybe this explains it.
[05:19] Miyu
Show me!
[05:20] Miyu
"The popular Kansai-region
show Girls, Girls, Girls
[05:24] Miyu
will be aired in an evening time
slot on national network TV."
[05:27] Miyu
"In some regions, the program will
replace Mito Komon Neo..." What!?
[05:31] Misao
And that program is...
[05:33] Hina
The variety show we're appearing in.
[05:35] Mizao
Miyu?
[05:37] Mizao
Hey!
[05:38] Miyu
That settles it.
[05:39] Hina
Settles what?
[05:40] Miyu
Komon-sama doesn't deserve to be wiped out!
[05:43] Miyu
I'll save Mito Komon Neo myself! Just watch!
[05:46] Misao
Save it? How are you gonna do that?
[05:48] Miyu
In the show we're going on, if we
do well we get to sing, right?
[05:52] Miyu
Then we'll get picked and
sing our hearts out.
[05:56] Miyu
We'll sing the Mito Komon Neo theme song!
[05:59] Miyu
Everyone will remember how
awesome Mito Komon Neo is,
SIGN Let us watch
Mito Komon Neo!
SIGN Cancel the finale!
SIGN Komon-sama is
invincible!
SIGN Crush 'em!
[06:03] Miyu
and then there's no way the show will end!
[06:05] Hina
I don't think that's how anything works.
[06:07] Miyu
This is Ibaraki Prefecture's first
step toward conquering Japan!
[06:12] Miyu
Save the Komon-sama!
There ain't no other way!
[06:16] Misao
She's on fire.
[06:21] Chitose
What the heck? You gotta be kidding!
[06:23] Chitose
Goodwill ambassador or treadmill capacitor?
[06:24] Chitose
You can't win a sword duel with lip balm!
[06:29] Iroha
Tearin' it up as always.
[06:31] Iroha
Not sure when you'd use some
of that wordplay, though.
[06:34] Chitose
Iroha... What are you doing here?
[06:36] Iroha
I wanted to ask you something.
[06:38] Iroha
Those people were from a
comedy magazine, right?
[06:40] Iroha
I overheard some of it.
[06:44] Chitose
Oh.
[06:45] Iroha
Was it for an article or something?
[06:47] Iroha
But then why'd they only talk to you?
[06:49] Chitose
Who knows? Maybe they thought I look funny.
[06:52] Chitose
It's getting chilly. I'm going back.
[06:58] Iroha
Her lies are as bad as those jokes.
[07:02] Iroha
The filming location was
supposed to be around here.
SIGN The Next Day
[07:05] Chitose
Hmm? What's going on?
[07:08] Men
Stop!
[07:09] Man
What?!
[07:11] Kana
Oh no! It's the mafia guys!
I don't wanna be the boss!
[07:15] Kana
Huh?
[07:16] Man
Wha!
[07:17] Man
L-Let me go! I didn't do anything!
[07:20] Man
S-Stop it! Let me go!
SIGN Restaurant
[07:23] Misao
What the...
[07:24] Akudai
We're manhunting.
[07:27] Iroha
Aren't you that producer...?
[07:29] Akudai
I'm Akudai Kan.
[07:31] Akudai
Welcome to the Girls, Girls, Girls shoot.
[07:34] Miyu
"A-Aku daikan"? Like, the evil magistrate
who's Komon-sama's arch enemy?
SIGN Akudai Kan
[07:39] Akudai
It's Akudai Kan. Make no mistake, cuties.
[07:44] Chitose
But what's this about manhunting?
[07:46] Chitose
That isn't a word you hear every day.
[07:48] Akudai
Well, I'm aiming for a show
that's nothing but cute girls
[07:52] Akudai
giggling and chattering away.
It'll be paradise!
[07:55] Akudai
It'll be like an amusement
park full of girls!
[07:58] Akudai
A zoo full of girls!
[08:00] Akudai
All the viewers want to see
are cute girls, you know.
[08:04] Akudai
So I pull all the men from the
streets whenever we're shooting.
[08:09] Akudai
If there's even one man on screen,
we'll get flamed online!
[08:11] Kana
But you don't count?
[08:13] Akudai
The viewers project themselves onto me.
[08:15] Akudai
That's how they can imagine themselves
as being a part of this girls' world.
[08:19] Akudai
So I'm fine.
[08:20] Chitose
I don't get it.
[08:22] Akudai
All right! Now that the distractions
are gone, we can start the shoot!
[08:28] Akudai
Let's make something special, my girls!
[08:31] Akudai
Okay then, the first challenge is...
[08:34] Akudai
"Quiz, Dash, Splash"!
[08:36] Kana
We got this!
[08:37] Miyu
We ain't losing!
[08:38] Akudai
The rules are simple.
SIGN Girls!!
Girls!!!
[08:40] Akudai
If you think the statement
is true, run to the O.
[08:44] Akudai
If you think it's false, run to
the X. And dive right through!
[08:47] Akudai
If you run through the wrong wall,
[08:49] Akudai
there will be a penalty waiting
for you, so do be careful!
[08:52] Kana
We're going first.
[08:54] Akudai
First problem!
[08:55] Akudai
Grade schooler Mayumi-chan
started running to a junk shop
SIGN Grade schooler Mayumi-chan started running to a junk shop
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
an RS400 android took off in pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
[08:58] Akudai
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
[09:00] Akudai
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
[09:01] Akudai
an RS400 android took off in
pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
[09:03] Akudai
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
[09:06] Akudai
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
[09:09] Akudai
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
[09:09] Kana
Isn't this a little long?
[09:10] Akudai
Here's the question: Mayumi-chan
is a girl. True or false?
[09:16] Kana
Considering the producer and the
runner's name, the answer has to be "true."
[09:21] Kana
But this is a variety show. The whole point
is making someone get the penalty.
[09:25] Kana
So the one I gotta choose is...
[09:29] Kana
Mud? Or super-hot water? This is
my chance to show what I got!
[09:33] Akudai
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
[09:34] Kana
Come on!
[09:37] Akudai
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
[09:40] Akudai
A very high-quality mattress!
[09:42] Kana
Huh?
[09:43] Akudai
The cover of the mattress is
made from delicate 100% silk.
SIGN Delicate 100% Silk
SIGN Hungarian Down
[09:47] Akudai
The luxurious fabric will
envelop your body in comfort.
[09:49] Akudai
Additionally, the mattress padding
is made of Hungarian down,
[09:53] Akudai
giving the mattress warmth and support
[09:55] Akudai
that will keep you comfortable even in winter.
[09:58] Kana
Um...
[10:00] Misao
The penalty is way too easy!
[10:03] Chitose
What the heck? It's usually a mud pit!
[10:05] Chitose
Or super-hot water! Or a bed of nails!
[10:07] Iroha
Wouldn't a bed of nails be fatal?
[10:09] Akudai
They're so strict about regulations
and compliance these days.
[10:12] Akudai
And personally, I don't want any
scenes of girls getting dirty.
[10:16] Chitose
We don't need that type of kindness!
[10:18] Chitose
Besides, look at Kana!
[10:19] Chitose
She froze up because she doesn't
know how to have a funny reaction!
[10:22] Chitose
Her body might be totally relaxed,
but as a comedian, she's dying!
[10:26] Akudai
Ugh, fine. In that case, I'll make
it just a little bit painful.
[10:30] Akudai
Next problem!
[10:32] Akudai
Akari-chan is a cyborg.
SIGN Akari-chan is a cyborg.
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
[10:33] Akudai
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
[10:37] Akudai
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
[10:40] Akudai
Akari-chan is a girl. True or false?
[10:42] Chitose
Seriously, that's way too much
info for the question!
[10:45] Kana
The answer is "true." But I gotta
dive again for the laughs!
[10:50] Akudai
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
[10:52] Kana
Let me have it this time!
[10:54] Akudai
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
[10:57] Akudai
A very high-quality mattress
with black feathers!
[11:00] Kana
Huh?
[11:02] Akudai
Jet-black feathers that suggest
the frolicking of fallen angels.
[11:05] Akudai
Will their fluttering envelop
the world in darkness?
[11:08] Akudai
For people who enjoy a goth atmosphere,
[11:11] Akudai
we recommend this lovely mattress
covered in black feathers.
[11:14] Akudai
Black feathers, that cringy
symbol of adolescent angst!
[11:17] Akudai
Doesn't that bring back painful memories?
[11:18] Chitose
That isn't the right kind of pain!
[11:21] Kana
I don't know how to have a
funny reaction to this.
[11:25] Akudai
All right! The next challenge is...
[11:28] Akudai
"Smash-and-Helmet Rock-Paper-Scissors"!
[11:31] Akudai
Ready? Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
[11:35] Iroha
Take that!
[11:35] Hina
Ow!
[11:36] Miyu
Hina! You gotta defend!
[11:38] Hina
Easy for you to say.
[11:40] Akudai
The loser's penalty is to
get her face scribbled on!
[11:43] Hina
Eh?!
[11:46] Akudai
A deep, luscious lipstick for the fall.
[11:49] Hina
Is this really me?
[11:51] Misao
That's not scribbling!
[11:52] Misao
You just gave her a makeover!
[11:54] Miyu
Yeah! You gotta scribble "meat" or
"poop" or something on her forehead!
[11:58] Akudai
How could we write anything
so crude on our girls?
[12:01] Akudai
Compliance!
[12:03] ---
All right, round two!
[12:05] Akudai
Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
[12:07] Iroha
Take that!
[12:08] Hina
Aaah!
[12:09] Akudai
Penalty!
[12:11] Akudai
A subtly alluring eye shadow.
[12:14] Hina
Is this the true me?
[12:15] Miyu
Each time she loses,
Hina becomes more of a babe.
[12:19] Misao
This is about as far from
a penalty as you can get.
[12:25] Kana
Reporters? A-Are they photographing me?
[12:28] Kana
Oh, I gotta look pretty!
[12:30] Chitose
No. They're only after me.
[12:33] Kana
Huh? After you, Chitose-senpai?
That's great!
[12:36] Chitose
Not really. It isn't great at all.
[12:40] Iroha
Chitose?
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
[12:44] Chisato
What the heck!
[12:45] Yuina
We came here to study, but pro
comedians really are amazing!
[12:50] Mone
I wonder if these two are special, though.
[12:53] Mone
The Otoris, Kagero and Chisato.
[12:55] Mone
They're a legendary married manzai duo
that's been performing for 30 years.
[12:58] Chihori
Thirty years, huh? That's longer than
the life expectancy on Jupiter.
[13:02] Chisato
You've been great today!
[13:04] Kagero
Are we done?
[13:05] Chisato
Actually, we have some news we'd
like to share with you all today.
[13:08] Chisato
Our daughter is performing in the
qualifiers for the Teppen Grand Prix!
[13:13] Yuina
Daughter?
[13:14] Kagero
Everyone, please give our daughter,
Amano Chitose, your support.
[13:18] All three
Huh?!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
SIGN National Junior High Stand-Up Competition
[13:25] (Flashback) Reporter A
That was the highlight of the show!
[13:27] (Flashback) Reporter B
Anything to say to your parents?
[13:29] Reporter A
I guess the genius comedy duo
DNA isn't just for show.
[13:30] Chitose
Those people didn't come to see my routine.
[13:32] Chitose
They came for the story about
my ma and pa supporting me.
[13:38] Chitose
"A real thoroughbred.
[13:39] Chitose
Did your parents teach you comedy?
Did they write your skits for you?"
[13:43] Chitose
The same questions over
and over. So annoying.
[13:46] Chitose
Even though it's my own
work that got me there.
[13:52] Chitose
My old partners hated that
and kept quitting on me.
[13:56] Chitose
I feel pretty bad about that.
[13:57] Iroha
So the reporters earlier...?
[14:00] Chitose
They said they were following the miracle
story of the "thoroughbred" high schooler
[14:03] Chitose
who was about to dominate
the Teppen Grand Prix.
[14:05] Chitose
Even though there's no guarantee I'll win.
[14:08] Chitose
It's so stupid.
[14:13] Iroha
Why didn't you tell anyone until now?
[14:15] Chitose
Well, it's a nuisance, right?
[14:17] Chitose
Because of me, they might start
spreading rumors about you, too.
[14:21] Chitose
And if we win, they probably won't
give us any real credit for it.
[14:25] Chitose
I kept refusing their interview requests...
but they're so persistent.
[14:29] Iroha
Hmm. So you thought we'd turn
out like your other partners?
[14:33] Iroha
Both Kana and me?
[14:37] Chitose
I guess so. I think I was just scared.
[14:40] Chitose
I thought I'd end up alone
again if you found out.
[14:44] Chitose
That's why I just couldn't tell you.
[14:50] Chitose
I'm sorry. I know it looks
like I was lying to you.
[14:54] Chitose
If you want to quit, I've got
no right to stop you.
[14:57] Chitose
You don't have to stay for my sake.
[15:05] Kana
I won?
[15:06] Akudai
Yeah. I decided to pick
you to sing at the end.
[15:10] Kana
But shouldn't that go to the
girl who was funniest?
[15:14] Akudai
Nah, it's fine, it's fine.
[15:16] Akudai
Nobody watches girl variety
shows to see them be funny.
[15:20] Kana
Huh?
[15:21] Akudai
To be honest, I don't
really care about comedy.
[15:24] Akudai
Girls just need to be cute.
[15:26] Akudai
And that's what I thought
the first time I saw you.
[15:29] Akudai
You've got a thing about you, girl!
[15:31] Akudai
This is our chance! With me producing,
we'll make you an idol!
[15:40] Saeka
It's so peaceful today.
[15:42] Hikari
Oh? Are you going out?
[15:44] Yomogi
Yeah. My folks' takoyaki restaurant
got a huge take-out order.
[15:48] Yayoi
We're going to help!
[15:50] Mako
Should I go, too?
[15:51] Yomogi
Sure, but you won't get paid for it.
[15:54] Mako
Never mind, then.
[15:55] Yuzu
All right, we're off.
[15:58] Saeka
See you later.
[16:05] Hina
W-We're really gonna do this?
[16:07] Misao
Don't have a choice. Once she
gets going, there's no stopping her.
[16:11] (Flashback) Miyu
If it ends like this, we won't get our
chance to sing Komon-sama's song.
[16:14] (Flashback) Misao
No kidding. We didn't stand out at all.
[16:18] (Flashback) Miyu
Our only chance is to do it subliminally!
[16:20] (Flashback) Hina
What do you mean?
[16:22] (Flashback) Miyu
We'll instill the producer's mind
with good thoughts about Ibaraki.
[16:25] (Flashback) Miyu
If it works, a last-minute reversal
isn't out of the question!
[16:27] (Flashback) Misao
But how are we gonna do it?
[16:39] Miyu
The best way to impress him
is with a taste of Ibaraki.
[16:42] Miyu
Nothing beats monkfish stew for that!
[16:46] Miyu
Slowly, slowly...
[16:50] Miyu
Oh crap!
[16:51] Akudai
Ow!
[16:52] Akudai
I dreamed some bullies gave me a
cigarette burn on my face.
[16:55] Akudai
What the...? Huh?
[16:58] Miyu
Monkfish stew isn't gonna work.
In that case...
SIGN Yam Jerky
[17:04] Miyu
I'll give him a taste of
dried Ibaraki taters.
[17:09] Miyu
Slowly, slowly...
[17:11] Miyu
Oh dang!
[17:12] Akudai
Aaah!
[17:16] ---
I don't know why,
[17:17] Akudai
but I've suddenly developed
an irrational hatred for Ibaraki.
[17:21] Miyu
I-It's all in your head!
Don't pay attention to that!
[17:24] Hina
Looks like you just instilled hatred.
[17:26] Misao
Sure does.
[17:28] Akudai
Let's put that behind us.
[17:31] Akudai
The final challenge is
"Girls' Paintball Match"!
[17:33] Akudai
Let's do it all cute and fluffy!
[17:35] Chitose
Huh? Where's Kana?
[17:37] Kana
Thanks for waiting!
[17:40] Iroha
Kana?!
[17:41] Chitose
You're an Amazon now?!
[17:44] Akudai
Paintball match, start!
[17:47] Kana
Gotcha!
[18:13] Akudai
Stop!
[18:14] Akudai
What's with the primitive battle tactics?!
[18:17] Akudai
This isn't the survival game I wanted!
[18:19] Akudai
I mean, it isn't cute at all!
[18:22] Kana
I don't care.
[18:23] Akudai
Don't you wanna sing?
[18:25] Kana
I think it would feel great.
[18:28] Kana
But once I started singing, the big
management companies would come knocking.
[18:31] Kana
I'd get my idol debut, crush a coliseum tour,
and then make it big in North America.
[18:37] Kana
But I don't wanna be an idol!
[18:41] Kana
I wanna do comedy!
[18:42] Akudai
Huh?
[18:43] Kana
When I was still living in my
own world and creeping everyone out,
[18:47] Kana
Chitose-senpai told me I was funny.
[18:49] Kana
She invited me to do comedy with her!
[18:52] Kana
She gave me a purpose.
[18:55] Chitose
Kana...
[18:56] Kana
I don't care about being cute.
[18:57] Kana
I wanna stick with my awesome senpais
and make the entire world laugh!
[19:02] Akudai
Why am I the target?!
[19:04] Iroha
Do you remember, Chitose, back when
we started Kunoichi as a duo?
[19:05] ---
Get back here!
[19:06] ---
Stop it! No, no, no!
[19:10] ---
Get back here, you villain!
[19:10] Iroha
We did all right, but after a while,
it felt like we hit a wall.
[19:13] ---
Leave me alone!
[19:14] Iroha
That's when we found Kana.
[19:17] Iroha
She kept acting crazy and
screwing up our rhythm,
[19:21] Iroha
like a bullet ricocheting all around!
[19:24] Iroha
I thought we could go
even further with her.
[19:27] Iroha
That's why we teamed up, remember?
As Bullet Kunoichi.
[19:30] Iroha
This thing you've pulled together
[19:32] Iroha
won't be torn apart that easily.
[19:35] Chitose
That's right.
[19:37] Iroha
We can do it. The three of us.
[19:39] Iroha
Bust through all the adults' tiny
imaginations and narrow boundaries,
[19:43] Iroha
and reach even higher!
[19:45] Chitose
You're right!
[19:48] Chitose
We'll make it happen!
[19:50] Miyu
If you guys are gonna get so
serious about it, then so are we!
[19:55] Miyu
Suke-san, Kaku-san, let's have at 'em!
[19:57] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[19:58] Miyu
There!
[20:00] Kana
Give it all you got!
[20:01] Akudai
I don't get it! This isn't cute at all!
[20:06] Kana
Carrying on the family business.
[20:08] Kana
means you're always
compared to your parents!
[20:10] Kana
My parents sold table fans,
[20:12] Kana
and people always told me I didn't
get around as much as they did.
[20:15] Iroha
Am I doing stand-up with appliances?
[20:18] Chitose
I get your point, but does it really
matter who your parents are?
[20:21] Chitose
You gotta shatter everyone's expectations
[20:23] Chitose
and reach higher than anyone
ever imagined you could.
[20:26] Chitose
That's been my bright idea.
[20:27] Kana
You're so positive, it's blinding me!
[20:29] Kana
Did your parents do work with light bulbs?
[20:31] Chitose
What are you on about?
[20:32] Chitose
Time to switch you off.
[20:35] All three
Thanks, everyone!
[20:52] Akudai
This isn't what I...
[20:54] Akudai
What happened to my cute paradise?
[20:57] Yomogi
We've brought your food order!
[20:59] Yomogi
Delicious takoyaki! Get it while it's... hot?
[21:03] Yayoi
What happened here?
[21:04] Yuzu
Was there a battle or something?
[21:06] Yomogi
Oh!
[21:07] Yomogi
Um, are you all right?
[21:17] Akudai
I've found them!
[21:20] Yomogi
Huh?
[21:21] Akudai
You are my ideal girl!
[21:23] Akudai
Sing for me on my show!
[21:26] Yomogi
Huh?!
SIGN Girls Girls Girls
[21:35] Yomogi
You were fished out of the
ocean around Akashi one day
[21:38] Yayoi & Yuzu
You're so fresh
[21:39] Yomogi
The batter with that broth flavor,
that's from the mix I made
[21:44] Yayoi & Yuzu
So nice and thin
[21:45] Yomogi
I'll grill you up so good this time
[21:48] Yomogi
Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,
that's the way
[21:53] All three
Tastes so right
[21:55] Akudai
I've found my new path in life!
[22:01] Yuzu & Yayoi
Hee hee hee!
[22:03] Yomogi
I'll never live this down.
[22:10] Yomogi
That hopeless feeling makes you blue
[22:15] Yomogi
When things don't turn
out like they should
[22:17] Yuzu & Yayoi
It's hot, it's hot
[22:18] Yomogi
So I'll make it hot, but you won't cry
[22:22] Yomogi
I know that's how you'll want to have it
[22:27] Yomogi
Don't hide it away, that's what they say
[22:28] Yuzu & Yayoi
There's one in every home
[22:31] Yomogi
It's such a basic thing, you see
[22:34] Yuzu & Yayoi
The takoyaki grill
[22:35] Yomogi
You've got to think about how
meaningless the days feel
[22:39] Yuzu & Yayoi
Your recipe
[22:40] Yomogi
When it's left dusty
[22:44] Yuzu & Yayoi
Tastes so right
[22:45] Yomogi
I'll hold your leg so tightly
and stay real close to you
[22:49] Yuzu & Yayoi
Hug your leg
[22:50] Yomogi
I know I won't be able to see
when you turn red though
[22:54] Yuzu & Yayoi
Well, that's true
[22:55] Yomogi
But once I've got us held together so tight
[22:57] Yuzu & Yayoi
Takoyaki
[22:59] Yomogi
That's when we're truly one, you know
[23:02] Yomogi
You were fished out of the
ocean around Akashi one day
[23:05] Yayoi & Yuzu
You're so fresh
[23:06] Yomogi
The batter with that broth flavor,
that's from the mix I made
[23:11] Yayoi & Yuzu
So nice and thin
[23:12] Yomogi
I'll grill you up so good this time
[23:15] Yomogi
Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,
that's the way
[23:19] Yayoi & Yuzu
We bought some
[23:23] All three
Tastes so right
SIGN The Salon Chapter
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