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E7 - The Mail-Order Chapter

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Miyu
    Hi, everyone! We're Akudare Kingdom!
[00:04] Miyu
    Love saves Ibaraki!
[00:05] Misao
    You're aiming too low!
[00:07] Misao
    Love should save the whole planet!
[00:09] Miyu
    Hey, hey, Ibaraki is practically
    synonymous with onsen, right?
[00:12] Hina
    Ibaraki isn't known for onsen at all.
[00:15] Hina
    Ibaraki is only famous
    for natto and hoodlums.
[00:17] Misao
    Hoodlums aren't a local specialty!
[00:19] Misao
    Ibaraki might not have a reputation for it,
[00:22] Misao
    but Oarai has tons of nice onsen.
[00:25] Hina
    But don't you think onsen
    are kind of creepy?
[00:28] Misao
    No way! Not at all.
[00:30] Misao
    It's always fun and games at the onsen.
[00:34] [SONG] all
    Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi
    So, what's comedy?
[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi
    Yo!
[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu
    Tough question, for me
[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi
    What could it be?
    It's too far out to see!
[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
    Be! See!
[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi
    Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi
    Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu
    We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
    God! Horizon!
[00:43] [SONG] Kana
    Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Yeah!
[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Bullets!
[00:44] [SONG] Kana
    And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:46] [SONG] Kana
    Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Nin-nin!
[00:47] [SONG] Saeka
    High society, celebrity
[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
    High! Celebrity!
[00:49] [SONG] Saeka
    The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
    Priority!
[00:52] [SONG] Miyu
    Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Yeah!
[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Ah! Ah!
[00:54] [SONG] Miyu
    Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:56] [SONG] Yuina
    We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    Ah Invaders
[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    That should tell you all you need to know
[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    Need to know!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Yeah!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu
    Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Wai-Wai!
[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi
    Heat up the timeline!
[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Timeline!
[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi
    Scramble for the win,
    we won't give up our pride
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Pride!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
    Found a new line
[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Oh!
[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu
    Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Oh!
[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi
    Who's on top then?
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
    Take it to the top
[01:10] [SONG] all call
    Doin' it for real!
[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
    We'll show you, giving everything
     we got, oh yeah
[01:12] [SONG] all call
    Oh yeah
[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
    Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:13] [SONG] all call
    Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
    Running straight ahead
[01:15] [SONG] all call
    Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
    Take it to the top
[01:17] [SONG] all call
    Yeah that's right!
[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
    It's show
[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi
    Don't slow down to hear them
     call you funny, not a day
[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu
    You'll never reach the top that way
[01:22] [SONG] all call
    Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi
    You know it's true, what we say
[01:26] [SONG] all call
    Hey!
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
    But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:30] [SONG] all call
    Yeah! Yeah!
[01:33] [SONG] all sing
    That's not why we're here
    It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:36] [SONG] all call
    All that
[01:37] [SONG] all sing
    We want to get
[01:37] [SONG] all call
    We want to get, yeah!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
    At last the genuine reason
     we're living in this world
[01:40] [SONG] all call
    At last the genuine reason
     we're living in this world
[01:45] [SONG] all sing
    Yeah if we are the ones
    that are making you laugh
[01:45] [SONG] all call
    Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:50] [SONG] all sing
    We gotta go so hard it'll really,
     really give us that, you know?
[01:54] [SONG] all sing
    Top of the laugh
[01:54] [SONG] all call
    Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:57] [SONG] all sing
    At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
    We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:57] [SONG] all call
    At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
     oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi
    Aw yeah!
[02:04] Seiji
    I can tell you've all been
    slacking off recently.
SIGN    The Mail-Order Chapter
[02:07] Seiji
    Did you forget you're still in the middle
    of the qualifier for the Teppen Grand Prix?
[02:11] Seiji
    We can't have that!
[02:13] Seiji
    You need to aim for the top, so I'll help
    you get your minds and bodies back in shape.
[02:18] Seiji
    While I'm repairing Takako-so,
    you're going to a mandatory training camp.
[02:22] Seiji
    I've got the perfect place for you.
[02:24] Seiji
    It's an old inn owned by the Teppen Grand
    Prix Committee that isn't being used now.
[02:29] Seiji
    And it's called...
[02:33] Miyu
    Is this it?
SIGN    Do'em Inn
[02:36] Barbra
    Took you long enough.
[02:38] Barbra
    Welcome to Do'em Inn.
[02:43] Chitose
    "Do'em Inn"? After "Takako-so"?
[02:46] Chitose
    What's with all the bad jokes?
[02:48] Barbra
    You must never lose your sense of humor.
[02:51] Barbra
    That is the policy of the
    Teppen Grand Prix Committee.
[02:54] Yayoi
    Are you a committee member too, Granny?
[02:57] Barbra
    That's right. I'm Hotei Barbra.
[02:59] Barbra
    Just call me Barbra.
[03:01] Yomogi
    What an unusual name.
[03:02] Barbra
    I used to work in a hair salon.
[03:05] Chitose
    Your name is Barbera?!
[03:06] Barbra
    We're very proud of our outdoor bath here.
[03:09] Barbra
    We're far from the hustle and bustle of
    the city, so please relax and enjoy.
SIGN    Bean Room
[03:18] Takada
    Yeah!
SIGN    You Gotta Buy It
[03:18] Takada
    Once again, we're bringing you unusual
    products you won't find anywhere else!
[03:23] Hina
    What's wrong, Misao?
[03:25] Misao
    It feels like someone's watching me.
[03:27] Misao
    It's like a cold draft or a chill up the spine.
[03:31] Misao
    I mean, isn't this inn
    just a little too creepy?
[03:34] Misao
    It might even be haunted!
SIGN    Shriek
[03:37] Hina
    Misao, I didn't know you
    were such a chicken.
[03:39] Misao
    Huh? The heck I am!
SIGN    Mirin
SIGN    Salt
[03:42] Misao
    I'll take out all the ghosts
    with salt and mirin!
[03:45] Misao
    I ain't scared at all! Why would
    I be scared of anything?!
[03:46] Hina
    Huh. So Misao's a chicken?
[03:49] Hina
    That's unexpected.
[03:50] Hina
    Right, Miyu?
[03:53] Hina
    Miyu?
[03:54] Miyu
    Har har! Hilarious!
[03:56] Miyu
    This is the funniest manga I've ever read!
[03:59] Hina
    I didn't expect that either.
[04:00] Hina
    I thought you were only interested
    in Mito Komon Neo, Miyu.
[04:03] Miyu
    That ain't true!
[04:04] Miyu
    But this one's a classic!
[04:06] Miyu
    It's an official spinoff of Mito Komon Neo.
SIGN    m 142 57 l 175 50 189 137 172 152 157 145
SIGN    Ooo-
    ooh!
SIGN    m 462 196 l 510 185 535 321 500 337 485 323
SIGN    Ko-
    mon
     Kick!
SIGN    Pow
[04:09] Miyu
    Detective Komon!
[04:11] Hina
    Detective... Komon?
[04:13] Miyu
    Yeah. Komon-sama got run over
    by a cow and croaked,
[04:16] Miyu
    but was reincarnated in the modern day,
[04:18] Miyu
    and now goes after evil magistrate
    types and totally beats them up!
[04:20] Hina
    And you think that's funny?
[04:25] Misao
    A piano?
[04:26] Miyu
    Oh, yeah. It sure sounds pretty.
[04:30] Hina
    But isn't that... a little weird?
[04:34] Yayoi
    Wow!
[04:36] Yayoi
    Looks delicious!
[04:37] Barbra
    How are you liking the inn?
[04:39] Barbra
    Are you enjoying yourselves?
[04:40] Kana
    Definitely! The scenery is great,
[04:42] Kana
    there's an outdoor bath,
    and the food looks delicious!
[04:45] Kana
    We've got no complaints!
[04:46] Hikari
    The piano performance was nice, too.
[04:48] Chitose
    The song really added to the mood.
[04:52] Barbra
    Piano?
[04:54] Yuzu
    What's wrong, Barbra-san?
[04:56] Barbra
    I-It's nothing.
[04:59] Barbra
    Sorry about this. I'll clean it up.
[05:04] Yuzu
    I wonder what's wrong.
[05:06] Yayoi
    Is she pianophobic?
[05:07] Misao
    I told you, something's not right.
[05:11] Yayoi
    Aah!
[05:12] Yomogi
    What is it this time?
[05:14] Kana
    The piano. It's a piano recital in the dark!
[05:17] Mone
    Or is it space? Are we adrift
     in the vastness of space?
[05:21] Miyu
    I bet we were swallowed up by a monkfish!
[05:24] Yayoi
    Oh! Sashimi tastes so good in the dark.
[05:26] Chitose
    You're all too random!
[05:30] Iroha
    Oh. It's back on.
[05:32] Misao
    But what happened?
[05:34] Yuina
    What's that?
[05:41] Miyu
    Um...
[05:43] Miyu
    "If you crack a smile with all
    your crooked, blackened teeth,
[05:45] Miyu
    your legs will point into the air,
    and you'll fall fast asleep."
[05:48] Mako
    What does it mean?
SIGN    Pon poro poro rin pon poro ri... dance around... If you crack a smile with all those crooked, blackened teeth, your legs will point into the air, and you'll fall fast... Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss, worry 'bout all the things you miss. Your head is pushing its limits, hard-working like the field crickets. Gotta work, improve your role. You can't just try to run away. Over there, you see that hole? You'll fall in if you go that way. What, don't you see? Modern life is too crazy. Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy. Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Breaking all your heart. Fly away, pigeon... Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Don't become a heart attack, catch ball on next pass. Yeah!
[05:49] Hikari
    No clue.
[05:55] Kana
    Take this!
[05:56] Kana
    Super Remembering-the-Naniwa-Tiger-Striped-Lady
    -Who-Gave-Me-Candy Genocide Pancetta Smash!
[06:01] Iroha
    Yes!
[06:02] Chitose
    At least hit it after that!
SIGN    This Beer
[06:03] Saeka
    Oh? Where's Mako?
[06:05] Mone
    She's taking a bath.
[06:07] Hikari
    Huh? We said we'd go together. Aw...
SIGN    This Beer
[06:10] Miyu
    I've re-ad it o-ver and o-ver
    and it st-ill makes no-o sense.
[06:13] Yayoi
    Wh-o put it th-ere a-nyway? We were
    the on-ly ones in the ro-om, r-ight?
[06:18] Yomogi
    Yeah, but I do-ubt anyone co-uld
    navig-ate through darkness like th-at.
[06:22] Barbra
    It's the curse.
[06:24] Misao
    Curse?!
[06:25] Barbra
    You all heard the piano, right?
[06:28] Barbra
    But that should have been
    impossible to hear.
[06:32] Barbra
    The piano in that cottage has
    been locked up for years.
[06:37] Hina
    There was a lock on the door.
[06:39] Yuina
    Then where did the sound come from?
[06:41] Barbra
    The horrors have begun! Nobody will
     be able to stop them now!
[06:45] Yuzu
    Horrors?
[06:48] Chihori
    What?
[06:51] Yayoi
    What's wrong?
[06:53] Hikari
    Mako is...
SIGN    Living Room
[07:01] Saeka
    Mako...
[07:02] Hikari
    She overheated in the bath.
    She must've gotten really dizzy.
[07:05] Saeka
    Why did she have to die like this?
[07:07] Hikari
    She ain't dead.
[07:10] Yuzu
    No good. No signal.
[07:11] Yuina
    Same here.
[07:13] Kana
    Chitose-senpai. Iroha-senpai.
[07:15] Chitose
    This isn't looking good.
[07:17] Iroha
    I went and checked the only way out of here,
SIGN    Wet Paint
[07:20] Iroha
    but the bridge is wet with paint. Hot pink.
[07:22] Chitose
    If we try to walk on it,
    our shoes will turn hot pink.
[07:25] Chitose
    That's a death sentence!
[07:27] Kana
    Our phones have no signal.
    If we leave, we die.
[07:30] Kana
    That means...
[07:31] Misao
    ...that we're trapped here?
[07:32] Barbra
    It's exactly what the lullaby says.
[07:35] Barbra
    The curse is the only possible explanation.
[07:38] Yayoi
    Barbra-san, what is that curse about anyway?
[07:42] Barbra
    Long ago, before this place
    was called Do'em Inn,
[07:47] Barbra
    a wealthy family used to live here.
[07:50] Barbra
    They had one son, and he
    loved playing the piano.
[07:54] Barbra
    He wanted to become a musician,
    but that dream didn't come true.
[08:00] Barbra
    In order to make him take
    over the family business,
[08:03] Barbra
    his father forced him to quit piano.
[08:07] Barbra
    With no hope for the future,
    the son took his own life.
[08:12] Barbra
    He left behind a lullaby,
     written in despair,
[08:17] Barbra
    that has been passed down
    through the generations.
[08:20] Yuzu
    What kind of song is it?
[08:22] Barbra
    It's faster if you just hear it.
[08:26] Yomogi
    Pon poro poro rin pon poro rin
[08:31] Yomogi
    Make your fingers dance around,
    and see what it might mean
[08:37] Yomogi
    If you crack a smile with all
    your crooked, blackened teeth
[08:43] Yomogi
    Your legs will point into the
    air, and you'll fall fast asleep
[08:50] Yomogi
    Hey! Yo!
[08:52] Yomogi
    Into the sky you blow a kiss
[08:53] Yomogi
    Worry 'bout all the things you miss
[08:54] Yomogi
    Your head is pushing its limits
[08:56] Yomogi
    Hard-working like the field crickets
[08:57] Barbra
    Gotta work, improve your role
[08:58] Barbra
    You can't just try to run away
[09:00] Barbra
    Over there, you see that hole?
[09:01] Barbra
    You'll fall in if you go that way.
[09:03] Yomogi
    What, don't you see?
[09:04] Yomogi
    Modern life is too crazy
[09:05] Yomogi
    Written all bloody
[09:07] Yomogi
    A curse in calligraphy
[09:08] Yomogi & Barbra
    Ronin ronin ronin ronin
[09:11] Yomogi & Barbra
    Breaking all your heart
[09:13] Yomogi & Barbra
    Fly away, pigeon coo-coo
[09:14] Yomogi & Barbra
    Ronin ronin ronin ronin
[09:17] Yomogi & Barbra
    Don't become a heart attack
[09:19] Yomogi & Barbra
    Catch ball on next pass
[09:20] Yomogi & Barbra
    Yeah!
[09:21] Barbra
    This is the lullaby that's been
    passed down for 50 years.
[09:24] Chitose
    There's no way that's 50 years old!
[09:27] Barbra
    There is a saying at the inn that's
    been passed down with the song.
[09:31] Barbra
    "Someday, the tortured soul of the
     piano will return with its lullaby,
[09:37] Barbra
    and that melody will lead to a curse."
[09:41] Yuina
    Just like the lyrics said, Mako-chan's legs
     were pointing into the air.
[09:46] Chihori
    Yeah. And she fell asleep.
[09:48] Kana
    Wait a minute.
[09:49] Kana
    Does that mean what happened to
    Mako is gonna keep happening?
[09:52] Misao
    What the heck? I can't believe
    we've actually been cursed!
[09:56] Barbra
    If this is the lullaby's curse, then there
     is only one way to break it.
[10:01] Yomogi
    There's a way to break it?
[10:03] Yuzu
    Please tell us, Barbra-san!
[10:04] Yuzu
    What do we have to do?
[10:07] Barbra
    Laugh.
[10:08] Barbra
    It is said that if you can fill the inn
    with laughter, the curse will be lifted.
[10:14] Chitose
    The heck is that? What does
    laughing have to do with a curse?
[10:17] Kana
    Maybe he wants to laugh because
    he was so sad when he died.
[10:20] Chitose
    That's kind of a stretch.
[10:22] Yayoi
    But laughter is our specialty!
[10:25] Yayoi
    And there's no other way,
    so let's give it a shot!
[10:28] Barbra
    I'll gather all the employees.
[10:31] Barbra
    They'll be your audience. Send them
    rolling on the floor with laughter!
[10:34] Yomogi
    Let's do our thing!
[10:38] Yomogi
    Hello!
[10:45] Barbra
    That's not good. They've frozen up.
[10:47] Chitose
    Of course they have! What kind
     of audience is that?!
[10:49] Barbra
    The son who killed himself
    had very pale skin.
[10:52] Barbra
    To break the curse,
[10:54] Barbra
    you have to make the audience laugh while
    they're all wearing white beauty masks.
[10:57] Yuina
    Why are there so many conditions?
[11:00] Misao
    There's no way we'll break the curse.
[11:02] Miyu
    There's no curse! The culprit
     is here somewhere!
SIGN    Suke
SIGN    Kaku
[11:05] Kana
    Miyu-chan, why are you dressed like that?
[11:07] Miyu
    I ain't Miyu. Call me
    Great Detective Komon!
[11:10] Hina
    You're so easily influenced.
[11:12] Miyu
    Shaddap!
[11:13] Miyu
    If we show our love for Komon-sama,
[11:15] Miyu
    maybe someday Akudare Kingdom will be
    invited on Mito Komon Neo as guest stars!
[11:19] Chitose
    Oh, get real.
SIGN    Sigh
[11:21] Miyu
    Anyway! I'll totally prove to
    you that there's no curse!
SIGN    Suke
SIGN    Kaku
[11:25] Miyu
    I'll solve the mystery!
[11:27] Miyu
    In the name of Komon-sama!
SIGN    Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN    Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[11:36] Misao
    What are you looking for?
[11:38] Miyu
    Evidence, obviously.
[11:40] Hina
    Did you find something?
[11:41] Miyu
    I found 100 yen!
[11:42] Hina
    So what?
[11:44] Miyu
    What else? What else?
[11:46] Misao
    There's no culprit. It's gotta be the curse.
[11:52] Misao
    Someone's watching again!
[11:53] Miyu
    There ain't no curse.
[11:56] Misao
    What is it this time?
[11:58] Chitose
    What happened?
[11:59] Saeka
    I wanted to get Mako some water,
    but when I went outside...
[12:06] Yuina
    Mone?!
[12:07] Yomogi
    Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss,
    worry 'bout all the things you miss.
[12:11] Yomogi
    Your head is pushing its limits,
    hard-working like the field crickets.
[12:14] Kana
    Just like the lullaby said!
[12:17] Kana
    Again?
[12:20] Hikari
    When I went to get Mako a snack...
[12:25] Kana
    Iroha-senpai!
[12:26] Chitose
    Why is she stuck like that?
[12:27] Barbra
    Gotta work, improve your role,
    you can't just try to run away.
[12:30] Barbra
    Over there, you see that hole?
    You'll fall in if you go that way.
[12:33] Yuzu
    Is that the hole?
[12:35] Yuina
    Look over there.
SIGN    Curse
[12:37] Yomogi
    What, don't you see?
    Modern life is too crazy.
SIGN    Curse
[12:40] Yomogi
    Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy.
[12:43] Yomogi
    How could anyone get over
    there to write that?
SIGN    Living Room
[12:46] Misao
    Yeah, it's gotta be the curse.
[12:48] Miyu
    But there's no way it's real!
    So stop saying "curse"!
[12:52] Hina
    Misao, why are you so scared of everything?
[12:56] Misao
    There's a reason for it.
[12:58] Misao
    It started a year ago.
[13:03] Misao
    Back then, I always felt like
    someone was watching me.
[13:07] Misao
    Whatever I was doing...
[13:10] Misao
    Whatever was happening...
[13:14] Misao
    I always felt someone watching.
    It was super creepy.
[13:18] Misao
    And then one day it happened.
SIGN    Ushiku
[13:22] Misao
    Something uncanny and terrifying...
[13:27] (Flashback) Misao
    Dried sweet potatoes!
[13:30] Hina
    That story...
[13:31] Misao
    Can you imagine how I felt?
[13:33] Misao
    The horror of finding my shoe locker
    stuffed full of dried sweet potatoes?
[13:37] Misao
    Now that I think about it,
    maybe that was a curse, too!
[13:40] Misao
    Ever since then, I've been a mess.
[13:43] Misao
    Ghosts and curses and the supernatural...
    I believe in them all.
[13:47] Misao
    I'm scared out of my wits!
[13:49] Miyu
    Misao!
[13:50] Miyu
    How many times do I have to tell you?
[13:52] Miyu
    There ain't no curse!
[13:53] Miyu
    I'll find the culprit and prove it to you.
[13:56] Miyu
    Then you won't get so freaked
    out about all this malarkey.
[13:59] Misao
    Miyu, you'd really do that for me?
[14:02] Miyu
    You and Hina are my Suke-san and Kaku-san.
[14:04] Miyu
    You're supposed to fight for your Komon,
    but you can't do that if you're always scared.
[14:09] Miyu
    So I'll fix whatever is bothering you.
[14:12] Miyu
    I'll protect you from fear, just as
    you protect me in battle!
[14:15] Miyu
    Because I know that's what
    Komon-sama would do!
[14:18] Misao
    Miyu—
[14:20] Miyu
    Misao!
[14:21] Hina
    Wh-What happened now?
[14:23] Miyu
    It must be a trick door.
[14:27] Misao
    Is this a hidden room?
[14:30] Hina
    Look. Misao?
[14:32] Misao
    How...?
[14:35] Miyu
    What's this?
[14:38] Miyu
    So that's what's going on here.
[14:40] Miyu
    This mystery is solved!
[14:42] Chitose
    So...
[14:43] Chitose
    Why'd you bring us all here?
[14:46] Yayoi
    Did you find something out?
[14:48] Miyu
    Yeah, I figured it all out.
[14:50] Miyu
    I'll explain it all to you—
[14:52] Miyu
    the truth behind the curse!
[14:54] Kana
    There is no truth! It's just a curse!
[14:57] Miyu
    No, it ain't.
[14:58] Miyu
    Everything so far has just been
    set up to look like a curse.
[15:02] Miyu
    All done by a certain individual.
[15:04] Hikari
    A certain individual, meaning...?
[15:06] Yomogi
    You're over-dramatizing it!
[15:07] Miyu
    That individual is here with us.
[15:09] Yayoi
    But isn't it strange that we heard a
    piano playing from the locked cottage?
[15:14] Yayoi
    And then that the envelope appeared?
[15:16] Yayoi
    That shouldn't be possible.
[15:18] Miyu
    No, it's all possible. First,
    take a look at this.
[15:23] Takada
    Once again, we're bringing you unusual
    products you won't find anywhere else!
SIGN    You Gotta Buy It
[15:28] Miyu
    That's Get-It-All Takada, a local
    mail-order shopping program.
[15:32] Miyu
    They sell rare items that have
     extremely specific uses.
[15:34] Miyu
    It sounds like the show has a
    ton of really serious fans.
[15:38] Chitose
    What does that show have to do with this?
[15:40] Takada
    Yeah! Let's introduce
    today's special product!
[15:43] Takada
    Here it is!
SIGN    Takada
SIGN    First 100 Customers
SIGN    Order Number
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN    Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
[15:44] Takada
    The Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!
[15:46] Takada
    For when you want to play piano,
    but you can't get off the ceiling.
[15:49] Takada
    We all know what that's like, right?
[15:50] Chitose
    Nobody's ever been in that situation!
[15:52] Takada
    This is the perfect tool for the job!
[15:55] Takada
    When you have the Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole,
    look at what you can do!
[15:58] Miyu
    The cottage door was definitely locked,
    but none of us checked the roof.
[16:04] Miyu
    There's probably a small
    window or something.
[16:06] Miyu
    The culprit must've been
    playing the piano through that,
[16:09] Miyu
    using this Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!
[16:12] Yuzu
    Then what about the letter?
[16:13] Miyu
    For that, they used this.
[16:15] Takada
    Yeah! Our next product is this!
SIGN    You Gotta Buy It
[16:17] Takada
    Sometimes, when you're eating,
[16:19] Takada
    you want to make an envelope appear
    out of nowhere, don't you?
[16:22] Chitose
    That never, ever happens!
[16:23] Takada
    This is what you need!
    An Envelope-Appearing Table!
SIGN    Takada
SIGN    First 100 Customers
SIGN    Order Number
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN    Envelope-Appearing Table
[16:26] Takada
    Just push the button on the remote. Oh, yeah!
[16:29] Miyu
    Someone could have used this to make
    the envelope appear, even in the dark.
[16:33] Miyu
    Last is the "curse" calligraphy on the rock.
SIGN    Curse
[16:36] Miyu
    A normal person would never
    be able to get over there.
[16:39] Miyu
    But there's a pond around the rock.
[16:41] Takada
    And our last product is this! A flyboard!
SIGN    Flyboard
[16:44] Miyu
    The culprit hovered to the rock
    with this to write the message.
SIGN    Flyboard
[16:48] Chitose
    That's one physically active criminal.
[16:50] Miyu
    Those devices were kept here
    in the inn's hidden room.
[16:53] Miyu
    The culprit would have known
    where that was. So...
[16:57] Miyu
    It had to be you! Barbra!
[17:04] Barbra
    You saw right through me.
[17:06] Yomogi
    Are you really the culprit, Barbra-san?
[17:08] Hikari
    Why would you do this?
[17:10] Barbra
    Seiji asked me to.
[17:12] Barbra
    He wanted me to put you through a test that
    would make you take comedy seriously.
[17:17] Barbra
    That's why I made up the curse and set up
    a performance where you could break it.
[17:21] Chihori
    The audience in white masks, too?
[17:24] Yuina
    You did it to scare us and
    push us to our limits.
[17:27] Kana
    Were the curse and the lullaby
    and everything all lies?
[17:30] Barbra
    Yes, I did make up the curse.
[17:33] Barbra
    But the lullaby is a real thing.
[17:36] Yuzu
    What do you mean?
[17:38] Barbra
    Fifty years ago, I lived
    next door to the inn.
[17:42] Barbra
    The inn owner's son, Toichiro
    was my first love.
[17:47] Yuzu
    The son who committed suicide?
[17:50] Barbra
    He didn't really commit suicide.
     I made up that part.
[17:55] Barbra
    The story about him wanting to
    become a musician was also a lie.
[17:58] Barbra
    Toichiro's dream was to become
    a piano-playing comedian!
[18:01] Barbra
    His parents objected, so he ran away,
     leaving behind that lullaby.
[18:06] Barbra
    Nobody knows where he is now.
[18:07] Barbra
    The song just seemed like the
    perfect choice for your test.
[18:11] Barbra
    Toichiro once aspired to be a comedian too.
SIGN    Piano Comedy
[18:14] Barbra
    He was so much like all of you right now.
[18:18] Barbra
    I thought it would be nice gesture
    to use that song in his memory.
[18:20] Saeka
    Please wait a minute!
[18:22] Saeka
    Does that mean you attacked
    Mako and the others as a test?
[18:25] Barbra
    I had nothing to do with that.
[18:27] Saeka
    Huh? What are you saying?
[18:29] Barbra
    I did try to scare you, but I had
    no intention of harming you.
[18:33] Barbra
    Attacking strangers would be a bit too
    much for an old mail-order fan like me.
[18:38] Saeka
    Then who...?
[18:40] Misao
    Someone's watching! Who's there?!
[18:43] Misao
    I won't let you get away this time!
[18:45] Misao
    Take this! A famous Mito natto bomb!
[18:48] Takada
    Argh, aaah, blegh, ew!
[18:51] Misao
    It's you!
[18:52] Takada
    Ugh, it's so sticky and slimy!
[18:54] Misao
    It's the guy from the shopping program!
[18:57] Hikari
    Mako! Are you feeling better?
[18:59] Mako
    It's him! It was his fault!
[19:07] (Flashback) Takada
    Ouch! Something bit me.
[19:15] (Flashback) Mone
    Hm?
[19:16] (Flashback) Mone
    Huh?
[19:19] (Flashback) Mone
    Ah! Okay...
[19:26] (Flashback) Iroha
    Who's there?
[19:27] Takada
    Oof! Oof!
[19:28] (Flashback) Iroha
    Oh, shoot!
[19:33] Yuina
    You were creeping around
    the inn to peep at Misao-chan?
SIGN    Slurp
SIGN    Slurp
[19:37] Misao
    We'll make you talk. Why were you doing it?
[19:39] Takada
    Well...
[19:41] Takada
    I caught a glimpse of you
    when you got off the train.
[19:44] Miyu
    Why are you so infatuated with Misao?
[19:47] Takada
    She looks just like her.
    Like my first love, Kikuyo-san.
[19:51] Takada
    I couldn't help but follow you.
[19:53] Takada
    When you arrived here, it felt like fate.
[19:57] Takada
    What a coincidence that you
    would come to my old home!
[20:00] Yomogi
    Wh-What did you just say?
[20:02] Yomogi
    This inn is your old home?
[20:04] Takada
    Yes. My parents wouldn't
    let me chase my dreams,
[20:08] Takada
    so I ran away and didn't
    come back for 50 years.
[20:11] Takada
    I couldn't build up the courage to
    come inside, so I kept watching from afar.
[20:16] Yuzu
    So that piano was yours?
[20:18] Miyu
    And your first love was...?!
[20:19] Barbra
    Toichiro-san, is that you?
[20:23] Takada
    I don't believe it!
[20:26] Takada
    Kikuyo-san?
[20:28] Young Barbra
    Do you really remember me?
[20:31] Young Takada
    How could I forget my one true love?
[20:34] Young Barbra
    Koichiro-san!
[20:35] Young Takada
    Kikuyo-san!
[20:43] Miyu
    See? I told you there was no curse.
[20:45] Misao
    This time, at least.
[20:46] Misao
    But what about those dried sweet potatoes?
[20:49] Hina
    We solved that one, too.
[20:51] Misao
    Huh?
[20:52] Hina
    Misao used to be really popular
    with the girls at school.
[20:55] Hina
    Some of them even called her a prince.
[20:58] Hina
    But she's a little intimidating
    and hard to talk to,
[21:00] Hina
    so everyone admired her from a distance.
[21:04] Hina
    In the halls, in the gym, in the cafeteria.
[21:07] Misao
    That's why I felt like I was being watched!
[21:09] Hina
    Since we were friends, the other girls
    asked me what kind of food you liked.
[21:14] Hina
    I told them you liked dried sweet potatoes.
[21:16] Miyu
    They asked me about you, too.
[21:17] Miyu
    They said, "I bought Misao a present,
    but I'm not brave enough to give it to her."
[21:21] Miyu
    So I told 'em what to do! I said to
    just stuff it in your shoe locker.
[21:25] Misao
    It was all your fault? Oh, jeez...
[21:28] All three
    Thank you very much!
[21:33] Kana
    That turned out pretty fun,
     in a thrilling kind of way!
[21:36] Chitose
    Yeah.
[21:37] Misao
    And there was no real curse,
    so case closed, I guess.
[21:40] Yuzu
    Don't be so sure yet.
[21:42] Misao
    Huh?
[21:43] Yuzu
    Sometimes words have power.
[21:45] Yuzu
    Even if something is a lie, once you put
    it into words, it might become reality.
[21:48] Misao
    Oh, come on, quit trying to scare me.
[21:51] Yomogi & Barbra
    Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling
[21:54] Yomogi & Barbra
    Make it come apart
[21:55] Yomogi & Barbra
    Fly away,
[21:56] Yomogi & Barbra
    pigeon coo-coo
[21:57] Yomogi & Barbra
    Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling
[22:00] Yomogi & Barbra
    Tumble hard into face plant,
[22:02] Yomogi & Barbra
    don't fall on your ass
[22:03] Barbra & Takada
    Yeah!
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
    Go! We want to live life to
    the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
    Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
    Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
    on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
    We've just got four minutes, but we
    hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
    Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
    didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
    We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
    Here at home with you, in your living room,
     we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
    We've all dreamed to see if we could be
    on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
    Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
    It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
    If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
    so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
    Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
    We'll hit it big if we
    keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
    We never knew that life
    could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
    and now that we're going, you know
    there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
    We want to live life to
    the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
    Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
    All of our searching, all of our
    training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
    But to us now, those memories
    will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
    All of the tears, all of the pain,
    rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
    We want to laugh it all away with you,
    right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN    The Adult Meat Chapter