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E1 - The Chicken Chapter

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] MC
    The Teppen Grand Prix!
SIGN    The Outstanding Social Innovation Group
SIGN    Café Stars
SIGN    Okonomiyaki
[00:06] MC
    Hot-blooded high school students
    from every corner of Japan
SIGN    Snacks & Coffee
[00:09] MC
    gather to test out their
    manzai comedy skills.
[00:13] MC
    Only one group will make it to the top,
[00:16] MC
    but they will all pour every ounce of their
    youthful passion into this dream competition!
[00:21] MC
    Following solos and duos, there is
    now a trios category as well!
[00:27] MC
    Use all of your strength to reach the
    pinnacle of comedy—the Teppen!
[00:34] [SONG] all
    Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi
    So, what's comedy?
[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi
    Yo!
[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu
    Tough question, for me
[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi
    What could it be?
    It's too far out to see!
[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
    Be! See!
[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi
    Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi
    Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu
    We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
    God! Horizon!
[00:43] [SONG] Kana
    Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Yeah!
[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Bullets!
[00:44] [SONG] Kana
    And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:46] [SONG] Kana
    Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
    Nin-nin!
[00:47] [SONG] Saeka
    High society, celebrity
[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
    High! Celebrity!
[00:49] [SONG] Saeka
    The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
    Priority!
[00:52] [SONG] Miyu
    Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Yeah!
[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Ah! Ah!
[00:54] [SONG] Miyu
    Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao
    Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:56] [SONG] Yuina
    We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    Ah Invaders
[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    That should tell you all you need to know
[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
    Need to know!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Yeah!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu
    Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Wai-Wai!
[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi
    Heat up the timeline!
[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Timeline!
[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi
    Scramble for the win,
    we won't give up our pride
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Pride!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
    Found a new line
[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Oh!
[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu
    Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Oh!
[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi
    Who's on top then?
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
    Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
    Take it to the top
[01:10] [SONG] all call
    Doin' it for real!
[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
    We'll show you, giving everything
     we got, oh yeah
[01:12] [SONG] all call
    Oh yeah
[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
    Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:13] [SONG] all call
    Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
    Running straight ahead
[01:15] [SONG] all call
    Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
    Take it to the top
[01:17] [SONG] all call
    Yeah that's right!
[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
    It's show
[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi
    Don't slow down to hear them
     call you funny, not a day
[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu
    You'll never reach the top that way
[01:22] [SONG] all call
    Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi
    You know it's true, what we say
[01:26] [SONG] all call
    Hey!
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
    But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:30] [SONG] all call
    Yeah! Yeah!
[01:33] [SONG] all sing
    That's not why we're here
    It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:36] [SONG] all call
    All that
[01:37] [SONG] all sing
    We want to get
[01:37] [SONG] all call
    We want to get, yeah!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
    At last the genuine reason
     we're living in this world
[01:40] [SONG] all call
    At last the genuine reason
     we're living in this world
[01:45] [SONG] all sing
    Yeah if we are the ones
    that are making you laugh
[01:45] [SONG] all call
    Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:50] [SONG] all sing
    We gotta go so hard it'll really,
     really give us that, you know?
[01:54] [SONG] all sing
    Top of the laugh
[01:54] [SONG] all call
    Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:57] [SONG] all sing
    At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
    We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:57] [SONG] all call
    At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
     oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi
    Aw yeah!
SIGN    The Chicken Chapter
[02:12] all three
    Hello!
[02:14] Yayoi
    I'm Yayoi.
[02:15] Yomogi
    I'm Yomogi.
[02:16] Yuzu
    I'm Yuzu.
[02:17] Yuzu
    Y!
[02:17] Yayoi
    Y!
[02:18] Yomogi
    Y!
[02:18] all three
    We're Young Wai-Wai!
[02:20] Yayoi
    Hopefully you can at least remember
    our names and aura colors.
[02:23] Yomogi
    Ain't that asking too much?
[02:25] Yomogi
    You can't expect people
    to be able to see auras.
[02:28] Yuzu
    Yayoi, you aren't even showing yours.
[02:30] Yomogi
    You can see them?!
[02:32] Yayoi
    Anyway, I got into some trouble recently.
[02:34] Yomogi & Yuzu
    What happened?
[02:35] Yayoi
    I broke something really valuable
    that belonged to a friend.
[02:38] Yomogi & Yuzu
    Huh?
[02:38] Yomogi
    That's serious!
[02:44] Seiji
    Yayoi! Yomogi! Yuzu!
[02:48] Seiji
    I know you're in there. Open the door!
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
[02:53] Seiji
    Come on! If you don't let me in,
     I'll beat the door down!
SIGN    Manager of the Takako-so Manor
SIGN    Tani Seiji
[02:56] Yuzu
    What do we do?
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
     Hosono Yuzu
[02:58] Seiji
    I already told you I was coming
     to clean your A/C unit!
[03:01] Yomogi
    What can we do?
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
    Takahashi Yomogi
[03:03] Seiji
    I've got to do the other rooms
    too, so open up already!
[03:06] Yayoi
    No! We can't right now!
[03:08] Seiji
    Huh? Why not?
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
     Sakamoto Yayoi
[03:11] Yayoi
    The crane says she can't return
    the favor if you look!
[03:13] Yayoi
    She says if you do, she'll pluck
    your eyeballs out with her beak!
[03:16] Seiji
    That's drastic, crane!
    I'll fry you up like chicken!
[03:19] Yuzu
    Wait, I can ex-crane! Crane-a-doodle-doo!
[03:22] Yomogi
    Is that your idea of a crane call?
[03:25] Seiji
    Hmph. Fine, then.
[03:27] Seiji
    I'll do the other rooms first.
[03:29] Seiji
    But if you don't open up when I come back,
     I'll make you do 100 upright rows.
[03:34] Yomogi
    He doesn't understand the
    weight of our crime.
[03:35] all three
    Phew!
[03:36] Yayoi
    That worked for now.
[03:37] Yuzu
    But he'll be back soon. What do we do?
[03:40] Yayoi
    We have to fix it!
[03:41] Yomogi
    I know, but I looked everywhere
    and can't find the head.
[03:44] Yayoi
    Then let's find a replacement
    that will fool him.
[03:46] Yomogi
    A replacement?
[03:49] Yomogi
    That ain't fooling anyone!
[03:51] Yayoi
    We can say the human head deteriorated
    and turned into a bird.
[03:54] Yayoi
    Might be our only chance.
[03:55] Yomogi
    If statue heads deteriorated
    into birds like that,
[03:57] Yomogi
    then every statue of a high school principal
    in Japan would have a bird head!
[04:01] Yuzu
    Then how about this?
[04:03] Yuzu
    If we take it this far, maybe we can
    just say it spontaneously evolved.
[04:07] Yomogi
    No way, no way, no way, no way!
[04:08] Yomogi
    Now it looks like some
    kind of lonely monster.
[04:10] Yomogi
    A homunculus created by a mad scientist!
[04:13] Yayoi
    That's it! If it's a cyborg created by a
    mad scientist, then we're just its victims!
[04:18] Yomogi
    No way! We're in Osaka!
[04:20] Yayoi
    So what?
SIGN    Tokyo
[04:21] Yomogi
    Have you forgotten the history of tokusatsu?
[04:24] Yomogi
    The mad scientist always only attacks Tokyo!
[04:26] Yomogi
    He always ignores Osaka.
[04:28] Mad Scientist
    Osaka? Nah, I'm good.
[04:30] Yuzu & Yayoi
    That's kind of sad.
SIGN    Akudare Kingdom
[04:35] Seiji
    My, are they out?
[04:37] Seiji
    Oh dear...
SIGN    Fruit
SIGN    Meat
SIGN    Alcohol
SIGN    Expert Supermarket
SIGN    Members of the General Public Very Welcome
[04:42] Misao
    The A/C unit? Oh, yeah, totally fine.
    Go ahead and let yourself in.
SIGN    Akudare Kingdom
     Ushiku Misao
[04:47] Miyu
    But why?!
[04:49] Misao
    Ah, we're out shopping.
[04:51] Miyu
    This ain't acceptable!
[04:51] Misao
    We should be back by dinner, though.
[04:54] Miyu
    Why ain't you selling shoboro
    natto around here?
SIGN    Akudare Kingdom
     Komatsuzaki Miyu
[04:57] Employee
    I don't know what to tell you...
[04:59] Miyu
    I went to all of the other stores, too!
[05:02] Hina
    It's soul food from way out
    in the boonies of Ibaraki.
SIGN    Akudare Kingdom
    Kasama Hina
[05:06] Hina
    Of course they don't have it.
[05:08] Miyu
    It don't make sense!
[05:09] Miyu
    I always thought shoboro
    natto was our national dish.
[05:12] Miyu
    How could anyone not appreciate the perfect
    union of natto beans and dried daikon strips?
[05:17] Hina
    Well, they say folks in Kansai
    don't eat natto anyway.
[05:20] Misao
    It's unbelievable.
[05:21] Miyu
    I got it!
[05:22] Misao
    Got what?
[05:23] Miyo
    I'll eradicate all the places in the
    country that don't have shoboro natto!
[05:28] Miyo
    To accomplish this, Ibaraki
    should conquer Japan!
[05:31] Misao
    Did it ever cross your mind
    to just make it yourself?
[05:34] Hina
    That ain't gonna work!
[05:36] Hina
    If someone catches us making shoboro natto,
[05:39] Hina
    they'll come yelling, "They're from Ibaraki!"
     And they'll skewer us on bamboo spears.
[05:43] Soldiers
    Ibaraki jerks, go home!
[05:47] Misao
    Not a chance! Folks from Ibaraki
    ain't that oppressed!
[05:50] Miyu
    Yeah! I just want to share shoboro
    natto with the others in the dorm!
[05:54] Hina
    Ya can't! I'm tellin' ya,
    they'll skewer you with spears!
[05:57] Misao
    Why are bamboo spears all you think about?
[05:59] Miyu
    Don't worry about it!
[06:00] Miyu
    As citizens of Ibaraki, Suke-san and
    Kaku-san will have our back!
[06:03] Misao
    Leave Ibaraki's strongest warriors
    out of this stupid battle!
SIGN    Bullet Kunoichi
[06:09] Kana
    I don't wanna!
[06:10] Chitose
    Hold it!
[06:12] Chitose
    Don't be so selfish! We're going!
[06:14] Kana
    No, I don't wanna!
[06:15] Seiji
    Ouch.
[06:17] Seiji
    Oh my, what fabulous calves.
[06:20] Iroha
    Oh, hi, Manager!
SIGN    Bullet Kunoichi
    Akishika Iroha
[06:22] Iroha
    Your biceps are looking ripped today!
[06:24] Seiji
    Thank you!
[06:25] Seiji
    But you guys remember there's
    no fighting in the dorm, right?
[06:29] Chitose
    Yeah, but Kana keeps talkin' nonsense.
SIGN    Invaders
SIGN    Bullet Kunoichi
    Amano Chitose
[06:32] Kana
    I just don't wanna practice
    our routine at the station!
SIGN    Bullet Kunoichi
     Kiyotsuru Kana
[06:35] Iroha
    Chitose thought it'd be better
    to practice in front of people
[06:39] Iroha
    because that's more like a real show.
[06:40] Seiji
    Do you have a good reason not to?
[06:42] Seiji
    You can tell me. I promise I won't get mad.
[06:44] Kana
    Really?
[06:45] Seiji
    Really.
[06:45] Kana
    I'm, like, so cute, right?
[06:47] Seiji
    My bad. I'm about to lose it.
[06:49] Kana
    If we practice at the station, lots and lots of
    people will crowd around to see me, right?
[06:54] Kana
    Maybe at a scale of tens or
    hundreds of thousands.
[06:58] Kana
    What in the world will I do if they start
    worshiping me or something?
[07:02] Chitose
    Who the heck cares? Just be
    a god or something, then.
[07:04] Kana
    Hey! Is that any way to talk to a god?
[07:07] Chitose
    Back to the starting line, girl!
    You ain't a god yet!
[07:10] Seiji
    Do you mind if I start cleaning the A/C unit?
[07:13] Iroha
    Go right ahead.
[07:15] Yayoi
    I tried all sorts of things,
    but nothing worked.
[07:18] Yomogi
    No kidding.
[07:19] Yuzu
    We've gone so far, I don't even remember
    what we were aiming for in the first place.
[07:23] Yomogi
    No kidding.
[07:24] Yayoi
    At this point, we'll just
    have to flat-out apologize.
[07:27] Yayoi
    Don't worry about it, Yomogi!
[07:29] Yayoi
    I'll go with you to apologize!
[07:30] Yomogi
    Huh? Why are you trying
    to pin the blame on me?
[07:35] Yayoi
    You know what? I actually saw it.
[07:38] Yomogi
    Huh?
[07:39] Yuzu
    Saw it? Saw what?
[07:41] Yayoi
    It was right around when I moved to Osaka.
[07:45] Yomogi
    Hold on! This isn't about the trophy?
[07:46] Yomogi
    How far are you flashing back, anyway?
SIGN    Kagetsu High School
[07:49] Yuzu
    Let's just listen to Yayoi's story for now.
[07:52] (Flashback) Teacher
    Well then, who's next?
[07:53] (Flashback) Yayoi
    That's me!
[07:54] (Flashback) Yayoi
    My name is Sakamoto Yayoi! I love comedy!
[07:57] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I always wanted to live in Namba,
[08:00] (Flashback) Yayoi
    so I took the Kagetsu High School
     entrance exam in Kyoto.
[08:02] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I'm very glad to meet you!
[08:07] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Wow, this stage brings back memories!
[08:17] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Yayoi?
[08:18] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Yomogi?!
[08:19] Yomogi
    It wasn't some battlefield
     reunion like that!
[08:21] Yayoi
    Oh? It wasn't?
[08:23] Yayoi
    I guess my memory's all mixed up.
[08:27] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Hey, do you remember when we
    performed manzai on this stage?
[08:31] (Flashback) Yomogi
    We had so much fun in Konamons.
[08:34] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Hey, wanna do one for old time's sake?
[08:37] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Yeah.
[08:38] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi
    Hello! We're the Konamons!
[08:42] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Standing here again makes me remember...
[08:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
    how exciting it all was back then.
[08:52] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Oh, give me a break!
[08:54] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi
    Thank you very much!
[09:02] (Flashback) Yuzu
    Y'all so funny!
[09:04] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Huh?
[09:05] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Who?
[09:07] (Flashback) Yuzu
    You two'll reach the top, no question!
[09:11] Yomogi
    It was such a surprise when
    Yuzu started talking to us.
[09:15] Yuzu
    Tee hee hee!
[09:16] Yayoi
    Yeah, Yuzu's the one who told us
    to aim for the Teppen Grand Prix.
[09:19] Yayoi
    And we got together right when
    they started the trios category.
[09:24] Yayoi
    It really was destiny!
[09:26] Yomogi
    Sure was.
[09:27] Yuzu
    Yup.
[09:29] Yomogi
    What happened to the story about the trophy?
[09:31] Yayoi & Yuzu
    Ahh!
SIGN    Celebri-Tea
[09:34] Seiji
    Huh?
[09:36] Seiji
    Who in the world gold-plated the door?
[09:38] Seiji
    Huh?
[09:39] Seiji
    What is this?
[09:41] Seiji
    What is going on?
[09:43] Seiji
    Another door.
[09:54] Saeka
    Oh, hello, Manager. I hope you've been well.
[09:56] Saeka
    Would you like to join us for tea?
[09:58] Seiji
    What in the world is this?
[10:01] Saeka
    Isn't it lovely?
[10:02] Saeka
    We were a little cramped,
    so we took the liberty of remodeling.
SIGN    Celebri-Tea
     Yabukita Saeka
[10:06] Seiji
    Who said you could build a castle here?!
[10:09] Saeka
    Oh, dear. Is that not allowed?
[10:10] Seiji
    Of course it isn't!
[10:12] Seiji
    The only expansion I want is a gym!
[10:14] Seiji
    The only addition I want is a Smith machine!
[10:15] Seiji
    Do you under-muscle-stand?
[10:17] Hikari
    I knew it would be a problem.
[10:20] Hikari
    I told you so, Saeka.
SIGN    Celebri-Tea
     Jogasaki Hikari
[10:22] Hikari
    Our lifestyle is simply too
    dazzling for commoners.
[10:26] Mako
    Th-That's right.
SIGN    Celebri-Tea
     Shirakabe Mako
[10:28] Mako
    You need to ease the lower classes
     into it with a sprinkle of gold leaf.
[10:30] Saeka
    Oh, is that right?
[10:36] Seiji
    What do you think you're doing?
[10:37] Seiji
    I'm into body building, not body gilding!
[10:40] Saeka
    Oh, I apologize.
[10:41] Mako
    Sorry, that's because of what I said.
[10:44] Mako
    I'll take the gold leaf off.
[10:47] Mako
    It's pure gold.
    She really lives that celebrity life!
[10:50] Mako
    If I get the flakes off, I can sell them!
[10:52] Mako
    So to do that...
[10:53] Mako
    Manager, in order to get the
    gold off without damaging it,
[10:56] Mako
    would you mind if I peeled off
    about three millimeters of your skin?
[10:59] Seiji
    How can you say something so
    scary with such a straight face?
[11:04] Seiji
    And now what's this? What
    happened to the door?
SIGN    Invaders
[11:07] all three
    Ventla, ventla, space people.
[11:10] all three
    Ventla, ventla, space people.
[11:13] Yuina
    Hey, is this really the
    way to call for a UFO?
SIGN    Invaders
     Rokkatei Yuina
[11:16] Mone
    You better believe it.
    I read about it on the internet.
SIGN    Invaders
     Ishiya Mone
[11:19] Mone
    "When you make a wish to space,
    a dimensional door shall be opened unto you."
[11:23] Yuina
    But a dimensional door, not
    a physical one like this?
[11:26] Mone
    Yuina, talk less. Concentrate more.
[11:29] Chihori
    I really think we should call it off.
SIGN    Invaders
     Hokuto Chihori
[11:32] Chihori
    I don't want to bother them.
[11:34] Chihori
    I mean, it's nap time right now on Mars.
[11:36] Yuina
    Huh? Martians take naps?
[11:39] Chihori
    Yeah, and if you wake them up,
    they throw the remote control at you.
[11:42] Yuina
    Martians throw remote controls, too?
[11:44] Chihori
    What are we gonna say if they show up?
[11:48] Mone
    What are we gonna say?
[11:49] Chihori
    I mean, if we call them,
    they'll assume we had a reason.
[11:52] Chihori
    If we tell them it was for nothing,
    they'll probably get mad.
[11:56] Yuina
    You're right.
[11:56] Chihori
    If someone called me over for
    no reason, I'd get mad, too.
[12:00] Mone
    But what about the guys on TV who
    say they're always calling aliens?
[12:04] Mone
    I bet they don't have any
    reason to call them, either.
[12:07] Chihori
    That's why the aliens have
    recently been passing around
[12:11] Chihori
    a blacklist of all the people
    who call them for no reason.
[12:14] Yuina
    Chihori, you sure know a lot about aliens.
[12:16] Chihori
    Huh? N-No way! This is just common knowledge.
[12:20] Seiji
    Hey, you girls.
[12:21] all three
    Huh?!
[12:22] Seiji
    What are you doing up here?
[12:24] Yuina
    N-Nothing at all.
[12:25] Mone
    Yeah, just corresponding with space.
[12:28] Seiji
    Oh, yeah? That's fine, then.
[12:30] Chihori
    Ah...
[12:31] Seiji
    The hell it is!
[12:32] Seiji
    You can't take the door off its
    hinges without permission!
[12:34] Yuina & Mone
    We're sorry.
[12:36] Chihori
    No! You can't come! Go away!
[12:38] Seiji
    You guys are supposed
    to be the aliens, anyway.
[12:40] Seiji
    What are you calling other aliens for?
[12:42] Chihori
    Sorry! We didn't have a reason.
    We just wanted to try!
[12:45] Yuina
    I told you there's no way
    any aliens would show!
[12:48] Mone
    How are you gonna know if you don't try?
[12:50] Chihori
    Mm-hmm. See ya.
[12:52] Yuina
    What's up, Chihori?
[12:53] Chihori
    Huh? Oh n-n-nothing, really!
[12:55] Yuina
    Weren't you just talking to someone?
[12:57] Chihori
    You're hearing things!
[12:58] Seiji
    All right, let's go back and fix the door.
[13:01] all three
    Okay!
[13:02] Seiji
    Sheesh, giving me so much work to do.
[13:04] Mone
    Aw, I guess the UFO didn't come after all.
SIGN    Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
SIGN    Teppen Grand Prix
[13:15] Yayoi
    After forming Young Wai-Wai,
[13:18] Yayoi
    we won the local qualifier
    for the Teppen Grand Prix.
[13:21] Yomogi
    Wait, we're still in a flashback?
[13:23] Yuzu
    L-Let's keep listening.
[13:24] Yayoi
    We were summoned to the Takako-so
    Manor before the nationals started.
[13:29] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Yayoi, hurry up.
[13:31] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Sorry!
[13:34] (Flashback) Yuzu
    So today, we start living here at Takako-so!
[13:38] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I'm so excited.
[13:39] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Yeah.
[13:40] (Flashback) Seiji
    Welcome.
[13:44] (Flashback) Seiji
    I've been waiting for you.
[13:46] (Flashback) all three
    Eek!
[13:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Begone, evil spirit!
[13:49] (Flashback) Seiji
    I'm a human! Homo sapiens!
[13:52] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I didn't realize you were the building manager.
[13:54] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I was sure you were some evil spirit that
    existed outside of the human realm.
[13:58] (Flashback) Seiji
    The name's Seiji.
[14:00] (Flashback) Seiji
    Just think of me as the pretty-boy
    manager here at Takako-so.
[14:04] (Flashback) Seiji
    The founders of the Teppen Committee
[14:05] (Flashback) Seiji
    lived here at Takako-so when
    they were just starting out.
[14:08] (Flashback) Seiji
    This apartment building has quite a history.
[14:10] (Flashback) Seiji
    The first floor has the cafeteria,
    baths, and manager's office.
[14:13] (Flashback) Seiji
    The second floor has rooms
    for each of the five groups.
[14:17] (Flashback) Seiji
    And here's the cafeteria.
[14:19] (Flashback) three girls
    Wow!
[14:20] (Flashback) Seiji
    We also use this room as a theater.
[14:23] (Flashback) Seiji
    I know you've heard already,
[14:25] (Flashback) Seiji
    but teams that pass the local qualifiers
    get to live with the other teams
[14:29] (Flashback) Seiji
    at Teppen Committee
    dormitories across the country.
[14:31] (Flashback) Seiji
    The Takako-so here hosts
    five teams, including you.
[14:35] (Flashback) Seiji
    You'll take turns testing your material on
    this stage in front of local stand-up fans.
[14:42] (Flashback) Seiji
    If the audience isn't satisfied with you,
[14:45] (Flashback) Seiji
    you'll be expelled from
    the dorm immediately.
[14:47] (Flashback) Yuzu
    You mean we'll be kicked out?
[14:49] (Flashback) Seiji
    Yes.
[14:50] (Flashback) Seiji
    Basically, the final qualifier is to
    keep living here until the end.
[14:56] (Flashback) Yayoi
    That sounds so fun!
[14:58] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Yayoi?
[14:58] (Flashback) Yayoi
    I mean, we get to live with comedy
    trios from around the country
[15:02] (Flashback) Yayoi
    and even perform routines
    in front of an audience?
[15:04] (Flashback) Yayoi
    It's the perfect environment!
[15:06] (Flashback) Seiji
    Heh. I like that positive attitude.
[15:09] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Oh, oh! I have a question!
[15:11] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Why is the dorm named "Takako-so"?
[15:14] (Flashback) Seiji
    There was already a Tokiwa-so,
    so why not have a Takako-so, too?
[15:17] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Aha!
[15:18] (Flashback) Yomogi
    That made sense to you?
[15:20] (Flashback) Seiji
    Next, I'll show you the
    room you'll be living in.
[15:23] (Flashback) Yuzu
    Oh?
[15:24] (Flashback) Yuzu
    What are all those?
[15:26] (Flashback) Seiji
    Oh, those?
[15:27] (Flashback) Seiji
    Along with managing here, I'm also
    a bodybuilder. Those are my trophies.
[15:32] (Flashback) three girls
    Wow!
[15:33] (Flashback) Yayoi
    That's so cool!
[15:34] (Flashback) Yayoi
    A bunch of them say "first place"!
    That one! And that one, too!
[15:38] (Flashback) Seiji
    That's the one I'm most proud of.
[15:40] (Flashback) Seiji
    Right there.
[15:41] (Flashback) Seiji
    I got it when I was still an amateur.
[15:43] (Flashback) Seiji
    It was the first time I won a competition.
[15:46] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Huh.
[15:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
    Oh. Yomogi?
[15:50] Yayoi
    I still can't forget the
    way Yomogi looked then.
[15:53] Yayoi
    Her eyes were those of a
    hunter locked on their prey.
[15:57] Yomogi
    Bwahaha! Someday, I'll take the
    head of that trophy for myself!
[16:02] Yomogi
    Oh, come on!
[16:04] Yayoi
    What's the problem now?
[16:05] Yayoi
    Right when I was getting
    to the main plot, too.
[16:07] Yomogi
    It's a huge problem! You're making
    me sound like a criminal!
[16:12] Yayoi
    Huh? Then why were you staring
    at the trophy like that?
[16:16] Yomogi
    Well, that's because...
[16:19] Yomogi
    You know my little sisters, right?
[16:21] Yuzu
    Rine-chan and Miki-chan!
[16:23] Yayoi
    They just visited us.
[16:25] Yuzu
    That was a fun takoyaki party!
[16:26] Yomogi
    The girls love playing with dolls,
[16:30] Yomogi
    and they'll use any figure that's
    the right size in their games.
[16:33] (Flashback) Rine
    Welcome back, darling.
[16:35] (Flashback) Miki
    I'm home.
[16:36] (Flashback) Rine
    Would you like your bath?
    Or would you like dinner?
[16:39] (Flashback) Miki
    I just found out I gotta take a business
    trip to Tokyo, so I'm going out again.
[16:45] (Flashback) Miki
    See you later!
[16:46] (Flashback) Rine
    Come back soon!
[16:47] (Flashback) Yomogi
    Looks like a unique business trip.
[16:50] Yomogi
    The trophies were just the right size, too,
[16:53] Yomogi
    so if my sisters saw them,
    I'm sure they'd try to play with them.
[16:56] Yomogi
    That's what I was thinking.
[16:57] Yayoi
    Oh, was that it? I felt so sure...
[17:00] Yomogi
    Quit trying to make me look bad!
[17:02] Yuzu
    After that, Yayoi and I went
    to send the girls home.
[17:07] Yomogi
    I cleaned up after the party
    and took out the trash.
[17:10] three girls
    Huh?!
[17:12] Yuzu
    When we got back, the trophy
    was sitting on the table.
[17:14] three girls
    What?!
[17:15] Yayoi
    Isn't this the manager's favorite trophy?
[17:18] Yayoi
    Where's its head?
[17:19] Yuzu
    What happened?
SIGN    Young Wai-Wai
[17:25] Seiji
    Young Wai-Wai, are you there?
[17:29] three girls
    What do we do?
[17:31] Yayoi
    Ugh, and we're supposed to
    perform our routine tomorrow.
[17:34] Yomogi
    Our skit isn't even ready, and now
     we're tied up with this, too!
[17:37] Yuzu
    At this rate, we might be
    blamed and kicked out!
[17:42] Yayoi
    Ugh. I'm so hungry.
[17:44] Yuzu
    Right after our takoyaki party?
[17:46] Yayoi
    Hey, Yomogi, what happened
    to the leftover takoyaki stuff?
[17:50] Yomogi
    Oh, that? I screwed it up,
    so I threw it all out.
[17:54] Yuzu
    Screwed it up? Even though your
    family runs a takoyaki shop?
[17:57] Yomogi
    When you were taking my sisters back,
[17:59] Yomogi
    I wanted to use up the batter,
    so I started making more.
[18:02] Yomogi
    I tasted one, and...
[18:04] Yomogi
    For some reason, it was super tough.
[18:07] Yomogi
    I've never messed up that bad.
[18:09] Yayoi
    No worries! Sometimes, an
    octopus shoots squid ink, too!
[18:12] Yomogi
    You're not helping!
[18:15] Yomogi
    By the way, Yayoi, I've been wondering...
[18:18] Yayoi
    Huh?
[18:19] Yomogi
    What happened to your forehead?
[18:21] Yayoi
    Oh, that?
[18:22] Yayoi
    When your sisters were visiting,
[18:24] Yayoi
    the manager asked me to help
    him carry some things in.
[18:27] Yomogi
    Oh right, just for a little bit.
[18:29] Yayoi
    Then, when I got back to the room first,
[18:32] Yayoi
    the floor was covered with toys.
[18:37] Yayoi
    I tripped on one and fell.
[18:39] Yuzu
    When I got there after you,
    I found you on the ground.
[18:44] Yuzu
    It sure surprised me!
[18:45] Yayoi
    Aaah!
[18:46] Yuzu
    What's wrong?
[18:47] Yayoi
    Don't yell so loud!
    You scared the heck out of me!
[18:50] Yayoi
    Right then, right when I face-planted,
[18:53] Yayoi
    I thought I saw a shining
    face smiling at me.
[18:55] Yayoi
    I thought it was an angel from
    heaven coming to take me away.
[18:58] Yomogi
    Hold on. Do you think
    that could have been...
[19:00] Yuzu
    Hey, didn't you say that your sisters
    take things that are the same size
[19:04] Yuzu
    as their dolls and play house with them?
[19:07] Yomogi
    Yeah.
[19:07] Yuzu
    If the two of them went into the hallway and
    took the trophy when we weren't looking,
[19:13] Yuzu
    played with it, and left it behind
    when they went outside...
[19:17] Yuzu
    Then when Yayoi came back...
[19:26] Yayoi
    Oh no! I was the culprit all along!
[19:28] Yomogi
    Hold on a second. If you were the culprit,
     then where did the trophy go?
[19:33] Yuzu
    We didn't find it until the girls went home.
[19:36] Yayoi
    That's right.
[19:37] three girls
    Oh.
[19:39] three girls
    Ah.
[19:40] Yomogi
    It must've gotten stuck up there, and then
     fell back down while we were gone.
[19:48] three girls
    Huh? What?!
[19:50] Yomogi
    Now we know why the body suddenly appeared,
[19:52] Yomogi
    but we still don't know where the head is!
[19:54] Yuzu
    I didn't see it when I cleaned up the toys.
[19:57] Yayoi
    I did hit my head pretty hard.
[20:00] Yomogi
    If the head flew off,
    where could it have landed?
[20:03] Yomogi
    Oh! The takoyaki batter!
[20:06] Yayoi
    No way!
[20:08] Yuzu
    Does that mean your messed-up,
    tough takoyaki...
[20:13] Yuzu
    What did you do with it?
[20:14] Yomogi
    I spit it out and tossed it in the trash.
[20:17] Yayoi
    Where's the trash bag?
[20:18] Yomogi
    I just took it out!
[20:24] Yayoi
    Oh! A crow!
[20:26] three girls
    The head!
[20:31] three girls
    Aaah!
[20:34] Yayoi
    And swoosh! It just flew off.
[20:38] Yomogi
    That's crazy!
[20:39] Yuzu
    What happened next?
[20:40] Yayoi
    Well, it was all the crow's fault anyway,
[20:42] Yayoi
    so I treated the manager to a bunch
    of fried chicken, and he forgave me.
[20:45] Yomogi
    Oh, give me a break.
    I think I'll call it here.
[20:47] three girls
    Thank you very much!
[20:53] Seiji
    Hmph. But just this once!
[21:03] Yayoi
    All right, in honor of Young Wai-Wai
    successfully testing out a routine,
[21:08] Yayoi
    cheers!
[21:09] everyone
    Cheers!
[21:16] Yayoi
    This is the okonomiyaki from my
    uncle's shop. It's really good!
[21:21] Yomogi
    We finished our routine in time,
    and now we can relax a little.
[21:24] Miyu
    It was hilarious! How'd ya come up with it?
[21:28] Yomogi
    Come up with it? It's kind of a true story...
[21:32] Kana
    It was that high quality, and it
    was non-fiction? That's insane!
[21:36] Saeka
    Well, this is a little dull.
    Do we have another one in gold?
[21:40] Chitose
    Are you nuts?
[21:41] Yuina
    It's fluffy and delicious!
[21:43] Chihori
    It tastes like the fields of Jupiter.
    Sure brings back memories!
[21:46] Yuina & Mone
    Huh?
[21:47] Yuzu
    I still wonder what happened
    to the trophy's head.
[21:50] Yayoi
    Yeah. Where did it end up?
[21:53] Yomogi
    Oh well. It's all good.
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
    Go! We want to live life to
    the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
    Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
    Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
    on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
    We've just got four minutes, but we
    hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
    Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
    didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
    We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
    Here at home with you, in your living room,
     we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
    We've all dreamed to see if we could be
    on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
    Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
    It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
    If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
    so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
    Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
    We'll hit it big if we
    keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
    We never knew that life
    could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
    and now that we're going, you know
    there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
    We want to live life to
    the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
    Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
    All of our searching, all of our
    training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
    But to us now, those memories
    will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
    All of the tears, all of the pain,
    rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
    We want to laugh it all away with you,
    right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN    The Cattle Chapter