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E2 - Time Travel Paranoia

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    Okarin?
[00:13] ---
    How?
[00:16] ---
    How?
[00:21] ---
    I can touch her. She's really here.
[00:27] ---
    You're not a ghost?
[00:29] ---
    Do you want me to call the cops?
[00:31] ---
    I just want to know the truth!
[00:33] ---
    You were stabbed here...
[00:37] ---
    What do you mean by "truth"?
[00:39] ---
    Are you stupid? Do you want to die?
[00:40] ---
    That's Louise-chan's famous line!
[00:42] ---
    I saw it!
[00:44] ---
    You got stabbed!
[00:47] ---
    Three hours ago,
[00:48] ---
    at Doctor Nakabachi's press conference,
    at the Radio Building!
[00:50] ---
    Okarin, try to control your delusions.
[00:52] ---
    Doctor Nakabachi's
    press conference was called off!
[00:55] ---
    But...
[00:56] ---
    Makise-san! It's almost time!
[01:00] ---
    All right!
[01:01] ---
    Wait! Are you running away?
[01:04] ---
    You're...
[01:06] ---
    I have a name.
[01:08] ---
    It's Hououin...
[01:09] ---
    Kyouma!
SIGN    Time Travel Paranoia
SIGN    Are Time Machines Possible?
[02:49] ---
    Thank you all for coming here today.
[02:54] ---
    I don't have much experience
    with lectures like these,
[02:59] ---
    so I hope you'll bear with me.
[03:01] ---
    Makise Kurisu's giving the lecture...
[03:05] ---
    So she isn't a ghost?
[03:07] ---
    Still talking about that?
[03:08] ---
    I've been asked to speak to you
    about time machines.
[03:13] ---
    It's a different topic than that
    of my Science Magazine essay,
[03:16] ---
    but I'd like to give it a try.
[03:19] ---
    Time machines?
[03:21] ---
    I believe that time machines are foolishness.
[03:29] ---
    I'd like to spend the lecture discussing
    how I arrived at that conclusio—
[03:32] ---
    Objection!
[03:35] ---
    Time machines are impossible?
[03:38] ---
    It's far too early to decide that!
[03:40] ---
    Okarin, you're embarrassing yourself.
[03:42] ---
    You're...
[03:47] ---
    I believe that "early" isn't the issue.
[03:52] ---
    It's theoretically impossible.
[03:54] ---
    What?
[03:57] ---
    Well then, let's change the format
    of this lecture to a discussion.
[04:01] ---
    That will make it easier for
    certain stubborn people to understand.
[04:05] ---
    Right? Hououin Kyouma-san?
[04:19] ---
    Makise Kurisu...
[04:22] ---
    And from this,
[04:24] ---
    we can conclude that,
    in a string theory-based universe,
[04:26] ---
    time travel is unrealistic.
[04:28] ---
    You want to try it?
[04:30] ---
    Hououin-san?
[04:34] ---
    I imagine so...
[04:35] ---
    Then why not find some exotic matter for us,
[04:39] ---
    Hououin-san?
[04:43] ---
    That's all I have to say. But if you have
    further objections, I'm listening.
[04:48] ---
    Hououin-san!
[04:50] ---
    Don't be so damned arrogant,
    just because you've some little bit of genius!
[04:55] ---
    Wait... She must be an Organization agent.
[04:55] ---
    It's hot... It's so hot...
[04:59] ---
    The lecture was, itself,
[05:01] ---
    carefully planned
    psychological warfare, aimed at me!
[05:04] ---
    Well, I'm not falling for it.
SIGN    Yanagibayashi Shrine
[05:15] ---
    Eight...
[05:19] ---
    Nine...
[05:20] ---
    Just one more swing.
[05:21] ---
    You can do it!
[05:23] ---
    Ten!
[05:25] ---
    Way to go, Ruka-kun!
[05:27] ---
    Okarin!
[05:30] ---
    O-Okabe-san... No, Kyouma-san.
[05:34] ---
    You forgot the secret words, Ruka.
[05:39] ---
    E-El Psy... Congre...
[05:42] ---
    Congroo!
[05:43] ---
    E-Excuse me.
[05:45] ---
    So what did you want me to carry?
[05:48] ---
    Right here.
[05:49] ---
    Thanks.
[05:51] ---
    Mayushii can't carry all this.
[05:54] ---
    My dad got them, and we can't eat them all.
[05:59] ---
    I see.
[06:00] ---
    Thank you for donating these
    provisions to the lab.
[06:03] ---
    This will raise lab member morale.
[06:05] ---
    I'm so glad you like them...
[06:08] ---
    Um... Well...
[06:10] ---
    Ruka-kun practices sword swings daily!
[06:14] ---
    Yes. I promised Oka... I mean, Kyouma-san.
[06:19] ---
    When the Magic Blade Samidare
    acknowledges you as a suitable wielder,
[06:24] ---
    it will display its true power.
[06:26] ---
    Do not forget that.
[06:27] ---
    Yes!
[06:27] ---
    You got such a deal on it
    at the weapons store. Only 980 yen!
[06:33] ---
    Then show me the results of your training.
[06:37] ---
    Can you attempt an exorcism?
[06:38] ---
    I-I suppose... But...
[06:42] ---
    If you need a real exorcism,
    you should talk to my father...
[06:47] ---
    An evil spirit has possessed my right hand!
[06:51] ---
    Hurry and do the exorcism,
    before the power overtakes my entire body!
[06:54] ---
    R-Right!
[06:56] ---
    That's a different hand than last time.
[06:59] ---
    The evil spirit possessed
    this one today, okay?
[07:01] ---
    Urushibara Ruka.
[07:04] ---
    The mannerisms and voice of a woman...
[07:07] ---
    No... More feminine than any woman.
[07:11] ---
    But he's a guy.
[07:13] ---
    Taller than Mayuri, but so very thin...
[07:17] ---
    But he's a guy.
[07:19] ---
    Looks great in a priestess outfit...
[07:22] ---
    But he's a guy.
[07:24] ---
    It's already twilight.
[07:26] ---
    And yet, it's so hot.
[07:28] ---
    The cicadas are crying.
[07:30] ---
    But...
[07:33] ---
    He's a guy.
[07:34] ---
    Bye-bye!
[07:39] ---
    Ruka-kun's so great,
    able to do those exorcisms!
[07:42] ---
    He's a shrine family's son, yes.
[07:48] ---
    Sorry.
SIGN    Restricted Area Akihabara Police
[07:54] ---
    It's off-limits?
[07:56] ---
    Yeah, this leads behind the Radio Building.
[08:00] ---
    The Radio Building...
[08:11] ---
    Give me those.
[08:13] ---
    You've got work soon, right?
[08:18] ---
    Thank you.
[08:24] ---
    I'm working late tonight,
    so I'm just going home afterward.
[08:28] ---
    Mayuri...
[08:30] ---
    You really didn't hear a scream, did you?
[08:34] ---
    A scream? When?
[08:36] ---
    Today, at the Radio Building.
[08:39] ---
    I don't think I did.
[08:42] ---
    I see...
[08:44] ---
    All right.
[08:45] ---
    Then that's fine.
[08:47] ---
    Oh, Okarin...
[08:50] ---
    So no one remembers...
[08:54] ---
    Not Mayuri. Not Daru. Not Makise Kurisu.
SIGN    Open
SIGN    Closed
[09:02] ---
    You're closing up early today, Mr. Braun!
[09:05] ---
    I told you not to call me that.
[09:08] ---
    I'm interviewing a part-timer today.
[09:11] ---
    A part-timer?
[09:12] ---
    At a dreary shop with no customers,
[09:15] ---
    run by an over-muscled old guy?
[09:17] ---
    You know...
[09:20] ---
    'Sup!
[09:26] ---
    I heard that's the popular way to say hi now.
[09:30] ---
    This can't possibly be your part-timer...
[09:32] ---
    Is that a problem?
[09:33] ---
    Your name?
[09:34] ---
    Amane Suzuha.
[09:35] ---
    Age?
[09:35] ---
    Eighteen.
[09:36] ---
    Reason for working here?
[09:37] ---
    I love CRT TVs!
[09:38] ---
    You're hired!
[09:39] ---
    Is this a comedy routine?
[09:41] ---
    Some kind of joke?
[09:42] ---
    Who are you?
[09:43] ---
    His name's Okabe.
[09:44] ---
    He's an idiot who rents a room upstairs.
[09:47] ---
    It's not Okabe! It's Hououin—
[09:49] ---
    Shut up! I'll double your rent.
[09:51] ---
    I'm Okabe Rintarou.
[09:52] ---
    Hi!
[09:53] ---
    Say, what's in those bags?
[09:55] ---
    Special Intelligence Corn
    that was donated to the lab.
[09:58] ---
    If you want some, you must
    adequately compensate—
[10:00] ---
    Corn?
[10:01] ---
    With the little bumps?
[10:03] ---
    So this is how it looks fresh.
[10:05] ---
    You didn't know?
[10:06] ---
    Can I see—
[10:08] ---
    The Organization has targeted many people
[10:11] ---
    because they came into contact with me.
[10:13] ---
    Sara, Claudia, Simona...
[10:17] ---
    I see.
[10:18] ---
    If you want, we could talk about it.
[10:20] ---
    Don't take him seriously.
    He's just making that up.
[10:25] ---
    Think that if you like.
[10:27] ---
    Someday, the entire world
    will bow at my feet.
[10:34] ---
    So, that's what's popular these days...
SIGN    Unknown satellite crashes near Akihabara Station, around 12:00...
[10:53] ---
    Crashed around 12:00...
[10:57] ---
    So Mayuri and Daru were right.
[11:08] ---
    The conference was canceled?
SIGN    Doctor Nakabachi Press Conference
[11:11] ---
    Makise Kurisu stabbed...
[11:17] ---
    Was that some kind of hallucination?
[11:27] ---
    @channel
[11:34] ---
    John Titor?
[11:36] [Messenger] ---
    A time traveler's here! LOLOLOL
[11:42] ---
    SERN maintains an exclusive monopoly
    on time machines.
[11:46] ---
    Neither civilians nor corporations
    may acquire one.
[11:50] ---
    They've used the time machine
    for their sole benefit,
[11:53] ---
    to bring about dystopia.
[11:56] ---
    I've come here to change the future.
[12:00] ---
    To destroy SERN's dystopia,
    and to set the world free again.
[12:05] ---
    Then you claim SERN = Dictators?
[12:09] ---
    You mean the so-called
    Grandfather Paradox, right?
[12:11] [Messenger] ---
    257 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
    All I can think of is the European Laboratory for Particle Physics.
[12:12] ---
    There's no such thing.
[12:12] [Messenger] ---
    451 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
    If you time travel, can you meet yourself in the past?
[12:13] ---
    It's possible to meet yourself in the past.
[12:16] ---
    If you do, you simply move world lines.
[12:18] [Messenger] ---
    What's a world line?
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Inb4 parallel worlds.
[12:20] ---
    Let me start by saying
[12:21] ---
    that time isn't a single line,
    moving from past to future.
[12:25] ---
    It's comprised of infinite parallel lines,
    like rivers, called "world lines."
[12:31] ---
    For example, let's say a serial killer
    were going to murder you today.
[12:35] ---
    If I came from the future and prevented it,
[12:38] ---
    the world would diverge into two:
[12:40] ---
    a world in which you survived,
    and a world in which you died.
[12:49] ---
    So, this Titor is Japanese, huh?
[12:51] ---
    A self-proclaimed time traveler,
[12:53] ---
    who appeared on the American internet,
    in the year 2000.
[12:57] ---
    He claimed he'd come from the year 2036,
    to save the future.
[13:03] ---
    He then became famous on the internet,
    with several books published about him.
[13:07] ---
    I didn't think I'd see some idiot
    pretending to be Titor now.
[13:11] [Messenger] ---
    618 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
    Pretending to be? Huh?
[13:13] ---
    Then click this link and go read up on Titor!
[13:18] ---
    Daru must've deleted the link on Titor...
[13:24] [Messenger] ---
    John Titor About 12 Results
[13:26] ---
    Twelve?
[13:27] ---
    Impossible.
[13:28] ---
    Sure, it was ten years ago, but it was huge!
[13:33] ---
    It can't be!
[13:34] [Messenger] ---
    John Titor About 56 results
[13:36] ---
    They're not here!
[13:37] ---
    They're not here! They're not here!
[13:39] ---
    I had a collection of books on him right here.
[13:41] ---
    Damn it!
[13:48] ---
    Hello?
[13:49] ---
    Daru?
[13:49] ---
    What is it?
[13:51] ---
    I'm with Feyris-tan...
[13:52] ---
    What happened to the books?
[13:53] ---
    The books?
[13:54] ---
    The books on John Titor.
[13:57] ---
    I had a bunch of them
    on the bookshelf, right?
[13:59] ---
    Where'd they go?
[14:00] ---
    Wait, Okarin?
[14:01] ---
    What?
[14:03] ---
    Who's John Titor?
[14:10] ---
    I stayed up most of the night
    looking into John Titor.
[14:14] ---
    I found every bit of information
    I could on the internet.
[14:18] ---
    But...
[14:21] ---
    I want an answer from Titor.
[14:22] ---
    About ten years ago...
    In other words, the year 2000.
[14:26] ---
    It's interesting that you should ask that.
[14:29] ---
    But unfortunately,
    I've never been to the year 2000.
[14:33] ---
    Nor do I intend to go.
[14:49] ---
    Hey! Wait!
[14:51] ---
    You there! You! You!
[14:55] ---
    You took my picture, didn't you?
[14:56] ---
    You should delete it! For your own sake!
[15:02] ---
    I apologize
[15:03] ---
    if I've made you unhappy.
[15:07] ---
    What were you taking pictures of?
[15:09] ---
    Proof.
[15:12] ---
    Of where I walked today...
    Of what I saw.
[15:23] ---
    I want to ask you about something.
[15:26] ---
    This.
[15:29] ---
    That's a really old PC.
[15:31] ---
    Do you recognize it?
[15:32] ---
    No.
[15:33] ---
    Do you know anyone who might?
[15:35] ---
    Daru, maybe...
[15:37] ---
    Who is that?
[15:38] ---
    Nothing to do with you.
[15:40] ---
    Delete that photo.
[15:44] ---
    Tell me...
[15:45] ---
    The e-mail...
[15:46] ---
    For that person.
[15:48] ---
    No!
[15:52] ---
    Are you trying to threaten me?
[15:55] ---
    If you tell me,
[15:56] ---
    I'll delete it.
[16:02] ---
    Very well.
[16:03] ---
    But I won't sell out my friends!
[16:06] ---
    I'll give you my own address.
[16:10] ---
    What's your name?
[16:11] ---
    It says "Hououin Kyouma" right there!
[16:14] [Messenger] ---
    Oubouin Kyouma
[16:19] ---
    Give me that.
[16:27] ---
    Send me a blank mail.
[16:28] ---
    I'll just send something back.
[16:33] ---
    Welcome back, Master!
[16:37] ---
    It's Okarin!
[16:38] ---
    Welcome, Okarin!
[16:42] ---
    Yo, Mayuri.
[16:44] ---
    When I'm working, it's Mayushii Nyan Nyan!
[16:48] ---
    Come to think of it,
    "Okarin" kinda sounds like "Welcome."
[16:52] ---
    Where's Daru?
[16:53] ---
    He's in the back.
[16:56] ---
    Kyouma!
[16:57] ---
    I've missed you.
[16:59] ---
    What happened to your promise
    to visit every three days?
[17:02] ---
    I'm sorry.
[17:03] ---
    The Organization's sabotage
    has been just awful...
[17:05] ---
    The Organization's gone that far?
[17:07] ---
    Then you'll hold another secret meeting
    today on defeating them?
[17:10] ---
    That's right.
[17:11] ---
    Give me the usual Stealth Field.
[17:13] ---
    On it!
[17:14] ---
    I wish you'd let me join!
[17:15] ---
    No!
[17:16] ---
    The Organization is far
    too vast for you to handle!
[17:19] ---
    But I've got my forbidden special move...
[17:22] ---
    What?
[17:23] ---
    You finally mastered it?
[17:26] ---
    That's right.
[17:27] ---
    After months of harsh training
    in the Guiana Highlands,
[17:30] ---
    and having overcome
    my master's death, at last I...
[17:33] ---
    I mastered it!
[17:36] ---
    I'll never forgive you. Ever.
[17:41] ---
    So about what I said in my mail...
[17:43] ---
    I believe talking to a winner
    makes me a loser.
[17:47] ---
    Don't worry.
[17:49] ---
    I've no interest in that girl and her lies.
[17:51] ---
    Is this today's "You're the last one
    I want to hear that from" thread?
[17:54] ---
    Shut up, cheater!
[17:57] ---
    Your 2D wives are crying.
[17:58] ---
    Feyris-tan is special!
[17:59] ---
    She may be 3D, but she has a 2D soul!
[18:02] ---
    Anyway, look at this.
[18:04] ---
    This picture.
[18:07] ---
    That's an IBN 5100, right?
[18:10] ---
    IBN?
[18:11] ---
    A legendary retro-PC.
[18:14] ---
    It was about a month ago...
[18:16] ---
    I heard a rumor one was
    somewhere in Akihabara.
[18:19] ---
    She must've heard that.
[18:20] ---
    What happened?
[18:21] ---
    No one ever found it.
[18:23] ---
    Even the famous "Lightning-Speed
    Night Heart" tried to find it and failed.
[18:26] ---
    Meaning it probably never existed
    in the first place, is my final answer.
[18:30] ---
    It's that valuable?
[18:32] ---
    It was sold over thirty years ago.
[18:35] ---
    At the time, no one bought PCs.
    They were too expensive.
[18:39] ---
    That's how stuff ends up incredibly rare.
[18:45] ---
    That girl...
[18:47] ---
    I sent that mail...
[18:49] ---
    I'm Kiryuu Moeka...
[18:50] [Messenger] ---
    Date/Time:
    Sender: The Lightning Shiatsu-ist
    Subject: I'm waiting
    Hououin-san, I sent that mail!
    I'm Kiryuu Moeka!
    Age 20! No real job!
    I can mail you, right?
    I'm sending it,
    whether you like it or not!
    Moeka
[18:52] ---
    Age 20... No real job...
    I'm sending it, whether you like it or not...
[18:57] ---
    This is the same girl I just talked to?
[19:00] ---
    What's wrong?
[19:01] ---
    Be glad I didn't sell you out.
[19:05] ---
    It's a rare and valuable PC,
[19:06] ---
    but there's a good chance
    it's not in Akihabara.
[19:09] ---
    El Psy Congroo.
[19:12] ---
    Master!
[19:14] ---
    Here you go nyan-nyan!
[19:16] ---
    It's my "The World's In Danger" omelet!
SIGN    The World's In Danger!!
[19:20] ---
    Yummy...
[19:21] ---
    Calm down.
SIGN    The World's In Danger!!
[19:30] ---
    Analysis at the university laboratory
[19:30] ---
    Toyko Denki University
[19:33] ---
    reveals that the gel-banas
[19:35] ---
    have been torn apart on a molecular level.
[19:38] ---
    So they turned into
    something that wasn't a banana.
[19:42] ---
    Isn't that bad?
[19:44] ---
    What's going on?
[19:46] ---
    Right now, the one thing
    that comes to mind
[19:48] ---
    is the EM wave effect from the
    Phone Microwave (name subject to change).
[19:52] ---
    Why think that?
[19:53] ---
    My intuition as a mad scientist.
[19:55] ---
    So, no reason.
[19:57] ---
    Okay, it's all set.
[19:59] ---
    Then let's use this.
SIGN    Property of Mayushii
[20:02] ---
    Aren't these Mayushii's?
[20:05] ---
    Don't worry.
[20:06] ---
    I bought them with research funds
    Mayuri donated to the lab.
[20:10] ---
    Doesn't that make them hers—
[20:11] ---
    Now, let's toss the whole thing in
    and see what happens.
[20:14] ---
    Wouldn't one work? Hurr.
[20:20] ---
    Can we really learn the Phone Microwave
    (name subject to change)'s true power
[20:23] ---
    that way?
[20:24] ---
    That (name subject to change)
    is annoying. We should take it off.
[20:34] ---
    We can't change the world's ruling structure
[20:36] ---
    if we're stingy with experiment funding!
[20:39] ---
    You're the only one who wants to, you know?
[20:42] ---
    Really?
[20:43] ---
    Yeah, of course.
[20:46] ---
    Okay, done.
[20:51] ---
    What's wrong?
[20:52] ---
    It's gone...
[20:53] ---
    The banana's gone!
[20:55] ---
    Impossible!
[20:59] ---
    It's me.
[21:01] ---
    Emergency order 666.
[21:02] ---
    Initiate the cool-off!
[21:04] ---
    Government approval?
[21:06] ---
    No time for that!
[21:08] ---
    Talking to yourself... Fail!
[21:09] ---
    Shut up!
[21:10] ---
    Where'd you hide it?
[21:11] ---
    What? You're the one who hid it, Okarin.
[21:15] ---
    I see... I get it!
[21:17] ---
    This must be some kind
    of teleporter microwave!
[21:20] ---
    Wh-What?
[21:22] ---
    That's crazy.
[21:24] ---
    Then how do you explain this?
[21:26] ---
    We took the banana from the bunch,
    put it in the microwave, and...
[21:38] ---
    Gel-bana...
[21:41] ---
    But it's completely connected
    to the rest of the bunch...
[21:45] ---
    We definitely removed one before, right?
[21:48] ---
    I think so...
[21:50] ---
    It's really a teleporter?
[21:53] ---
    Is that what it is?
[21:55] ---
    You're doing an interesting experiment,
    Okabe Rintarou.
[21:59] ---
    No, Hououin Kyouma-san, wasn't it?
[22:05] ---
    Makise Kurisu?