E1 - Prologue to the Beginning and End

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] ---
    The universe has a beginning, but no end.
[00:08] ---
    Infinite.
[00:12] ---
    The stars, too, have a beginning,
[00:15] ---
    but their own power leads to their destruction.
[00:19] ---
    Finite.
[00:22] ---
    History dictates that it is
    the wise who are most foolish.
[00:30] ---
    One could call this a final warning from God,
[00:34] ---
    to those who can still resist.
[00:39] ---
    Okarin!
[00:48] ---
    Let's go.
SIGN    Prologue to the Beginning and End
[01:12] ---
    I'm initiating my infiltration of the building.
[01:14] ---
    El Psy Congroo.
[01:22] ---
    There aren't many people here.
[01:24] ---
    As I suspected, the Organization
    may be interfering...
[01:27] ---
    What's going to happen here?
[01:29] ---
    You came here, without even knowing?
SIGN    Professor Nakabachi's Time Machine Invention Press Conference
[01:35] ---
    A time machine...
[01:37] ---
    Amazing!
[01:38] ---
    Professor Nakabachi has surpassed
    the rest of us scientists,
[01:43] ---
    and is ready to announce the
    invention of the century.
[01:46] ---
    I'm going to pay careful attention
    to what he has to say.
[01:53] ---
    An earthquake?
[01:54] ---
    No, from above?
[02:10] ---
    What's this?
[02:21] ---
    You called me here for this?
[02:24] ---
    There aren't many left of this series,
[02:28] ---
    and Mayushii's out of hundred-yen coins!
[02:32] ---
    Don't be a spoiled little girl, Mayuri.
[02:34] ---
    Even if I've known you since we were kids,
    I'm not lending you money.
[02:39] ---
    I'll teach you how harsh life can be...
[02:51] ---
    What's this?
[02:52] ---
    It's not painted?
[02:54] ---
    M-Metal...
[02:57] ---
    It's a metal...
[02:58] ---
    A metal Upa!
[02:59] ---
    Is it rare?
[03:01] ---
    Really!
[03:07] ---
    Then you can have it.
[03:10] ---
    Are you sure, Okarin?
[03:12] ---
    It's Hououin Kyouma.
[03:14] ---
    Thanks, Okarin.
[03:15] ---
    I said it's Hououin Kyouma.
[03:18] ---
    Professor Nakabachi's press conference
[03:21] ---
    will now begin in the 8th Floor Hall.
[03:30] ---
    In the handouts, you can read about
[03:33] ---
    the time machine's basic design.
[03:35] ---
    I will use this conference as an opportunity
[03:37] ---
    to discuss the fundamental theory behind it.
[03:40] ---
    Scientists all over the world...
[03:42] ---
    I think I dropped my metal Upa,
SIGN    Received Mail
SIGN    Time: 2010/07/28 Sender: Mayuri Subject: My Upa...
[03:45] ---
    so I'm going to look for it.
[03:46] ---
    Currently, there are over ten major theories
    of possible time travel methods,
[03:49] ---
    Basic design of the time machine...
[03:50] ---
    and it's been examined from nearly
    every possible angle.
[03:58] ---
    Doctor!
[04:01] ---
    What is it?
[04:02] ---
    You know exactly what!
[04:04] ---
    What is this "time machine theory" of yours?
[04:06] ---
    Kerr black holes?
[04:08] ---
    World lines?
[04:09] ---
    You stole all this from John Titor!
[04:12] ---
    Titor called himself a time traveler,
[04:15] ---
    posting this theory on
    the internet back in 2000.
[04:18] ---
    Don't try claiming you didn't know!
[04:20] ---
    How rude!
[04:21] ---
    Of course I know about him!
[04:23] ---
    Don't compare my theory to that fraud's!
[04:26] ---
    Then why don't you explain
[04:28] ---
    the difference between your theories?
[04:34] ---
    Hey, you...
[04:38] ---
    Titor, huh?
[04:39] ---
    Come to think of it, there was
[04:41] ---
    similar stuff in the John Titor books...
[04:45] ---
    Who are you?
[04:47] ---
    That's what I'd like to know.
[04:49] ---
    What?
[04:51] ---
    Back there, you were going
    to tell me something,
[04:54] ---
    weren't you?
[04:56] ---
    Back there?
[04:57] ---
    About fifteen minutes ago.
[04:59] ---
    I don't have the slightest idea...
[05:01] ---
    Makise... Kurisu?
[05:05] ---
    You had a paper in
    Science Magazine a while ago.
[05:08] ---
    I'm surprised you know that.
[05:10] ---
    Are you a university scientist?
[05:12] ---
    You!
[05:13] ---
    Are you an agent from the Organization?
[05:16] ---
    Organization?
[05:17] ---
    What?
[05:19] ---
    I just wanted to ask you...
[05:21] ---
    There's no need for me to answer you!
[05:23] ---
    It's me.
[05:24] ---
    I've been caught by an Organization agent.
[05:26] ---
    Yes.
[05:26] ---
    Makise Kurisu.
[05:27] ---
    Who are you talking to?
[05:28] ---
    Yeah, no problem.
[05:30] ---
    I'll get out of this somehow...
[05:31] ---
    Huh? It's turned off.
[05:39] ---
    I'll tell you a secret.
[05:41] ---
    That's a special cell phone,
    for secret missions.
[05:45] ---
    If anyone but me touches it, it turns off.
[05:50] ---
    I see.
[05:51] ---
    You were talking to yourself.
[05:54] ---
    I'll make this brief.
[05:55] ---
    What were you going to tell me?
[05:58] ---
    About fifteen minutes ago.
[06:00] ---
    You were trying to tell me something, right?
[06:03] ---
    It seemed like it was really important...
[06:10] ---
    I've seen through your tricks.
[06:12] ---
    Girl-genius, when next we meet,
    we will be enemies.
[06:16] ---
    Farewell.
[06:18] ---
    Wait!
[06:27] ---
    What was she talking about?
[06:30] ---
    She met me?
SIGN    Date: 2010/07/28 12:26 Sender: [email protected] Subject: (No Subject) Attachment: IMV001
SIGN    Received Mail
[06:47] ---
    Okarin!
[06:48] ---
    Mayuri!
[06:49] ---
    What were you doing?
[06:50] ---
    I messaged you, right?
[06:52] ---
    I can't find my metal Upa.
[06:54] ---
    I even put my name on it...
[06:57] ---
    You dropped it?
[06:58] ---
    I think so.
[06:59] ---
    Give up.
[07:01] ---
    On auction sites, a metal Upa
    goes for 10,000 yen!
[07:06] ---
    10,000 yen...
[07:11] ---
    Find it!
[07:12] ---
    My lab is almost entirely out of money!
[07:17] ---
    Even if I find it, I won't sell it.
[07:19] ---
    With 10,000 yen, we could get the parts
[07:23] ---
    for a new future gadget...
[07:24] ---
    I said I'm not selling it.
[07:33] ---
    What was that?
[07:35] ---
    Run outside!
[07:51] ---
    Hey...
[07:56] ---
    Is someone there?
[08:10] ---
    Makise Kurisu...
[08:24] ---
    What?
[08:28] ---
    Someone's been stabbed...
[08:39] ---
    Okarin!
[08:44] ---
    What's wrong?
[08:46] ---
    You're pale.
[08:48] ---
    I saw a dead body...
[08:52] ---
    On the 8th floor!
SIGN    To: Daru Subject: Trouble Looks like someone stabbed Makise Kurisu.
SIGN    Send?
[09:28] ---
    Wh-What?
[09:49] ---
    What's going on?
[09:53] ---
    Here you go, Okarin!
[09:59] ---
    What is this?
[10:00] ---
    What's what?
[10:02] ---
    The people...
    Why did all the people disappear?
[10:05] ---
    They disappeared?
[10:06] ---
    They all disappeared!
[10:06] ---
    All the people here! Right in front of us!
[10:09] ---
    I don't know...
[10:10] ---
    You have to know!
[10:11] ---
    You saw it, didn't you?
[10:12] ---
    Right?
[10:14] ---
    I didn't.
[10:15] ---
    What are you talking about...
[12:02] ---
    Hey, you there!
[12:05] ---
    Can you see us?
[12:07] ---
    Why don't you answer?
[12:09] ---
    You, on the other side of the monitor,
    with the dumb expression!
[12:14] ---
    Never mind.
[12:15] ---
    This is the Future Gadget Lab.
[12:17] ---
    I'll introduce our staff.
[12:20] ---
    First is Lab Member 001,
[12:23] ---
    founder of the lab and Insane Mad Scientist...
[12:26] ---
    Myself, Hououin Kyouma!
[12:29] ---
    Okarin is cuter.
[12:32] ---
    Silence!
[12:32] ---
    Okabe Rintarou is the name I use
    to deceive the public.
[12:36] ---
    And Lab Member 002,
[12:38] ---
    the lab's lone female member,
    whose hobby is making cosplay outfits,
[12:40] ---
    Shiina Mayuri!
[12:42] ---
    It's me, Mayushii.
[12:46] ---
    And Lab Member 003,
    Super Haker Hashida Itaru!
[12:52] ---
    It's "Hacker," not "Haker." Hurr.
[12:55] ---
    We three.
[12:56] ---
    Isn't it time to give up?
[12:58] ---
    Don't too expect too much out of software
[13:00] ---
    you bought at a 500 yen wagon sale.
[13:04] ---
    Listen well.
[13:05] ---
    To get to our lab, go down Chuo Street,
SIGN    Future Gadget Lab CRT TV Workshop
[13:08] ---
    and turn left on Kuramaebashi Street
[13:10] ---
    at the Suehirochou intersection.
[13:11] ---
    We're in a multi-use building, in the first alley
[13:14] ---
    before the traffic light.
[13:15] ---
    The goal of the Future Gadget Lab
[13:18] ---
    is revolution of the world's ruling structure...
[13:21] ---
    To create inventions which will bring chaos.
[13:24] ---
    Do you understand?
[13:25] ---
    If you understand, then tell us your secrets!
[13:28] ---
    Hey, do you think we look
[13:31] ---
    like a video game to Alpaca Man-san?
[13:34] ---
    You don't think the concept of real and unreal
[13:37] ---
    is a little beyond him?
[13:39] ---
    Then are your 2D girls like that, too?
[13:43] ---
    That's different.
[13:44] ---
    Those are mai waifu.
[13:46] ---
    No one cares about your wives.
[13:49] ---
    But isn't that an interesting idea?
[13:52] ---
    If we did exist solely inside a monitor,
[13:56] ---
    think there's any way we could tell?
[13:58] ---
    No.
[13:59] ---
    That was fast.
[14:00] ---
    Thus, the discussion is pointless.
[14:03] ---
    We'd do much better to spend our time
[14:05] ---
    thinking of ways to fight the Organization
[14:07] ---
    and destroy the world's ruling structure.
[14:10] ---
    That delusional crap again? Fail!
[14:14] ---
    Silence, Super Haker!
[14:15] ---
    I am the Insane Mad Scientist, Hououin...
[14:20] ---
    Kyouma!
[14:24] ---
    That's your backstory, isn't it?
[14:26] ---
    My, my... Daru.
[14:27] ---
    You shouldn't hide in your shell.
[14:29] ---
    You should listen to what people have to say.
[14:32] ---
    So this is today's "You're the last one
    I want to hear that from" thread.
[14:35] ---
    Anyway, looks like the news copter's arrived.
[14:39] ---
    This object, thought to be some kind of satellite,
    crashed in Akihabara, Tokyo,
SIGN    Special Report
SIGN    Where did it come from? A mysterious satellite appears!!
[14:43] ---
    around 12:00 today.
[14:48] ---
    What was that?
[14:52] ---
    This morning, Mayuri and I left the lab,
    for the Radio building,
[14:56] ---
    to hear Professor Nakabachi's press conference.
[14:59] ---
    But the next thing I knew,
    a satellite had crashed into the building.
[15:04] ---
    And not just that...
[15:08] ---
    Me?
[15:09] ---
    Yeah... You saw the satellite crash on TV and said,
[15:13] ---
    "The Organization has finally made its move!"
[15:17] ---
    So the two of us came to see it.
[15:19] ---
    Canceled?
[15:20] ---
    Don't you remember how mad
[15:21] ---
    you were this morning?
    Saying, "He got cold feet and ran off!"
[15:25] ---
    Professor Nakabachi's press conference!
[15:27] ---
    It was at 12:00, at the Radio building!
[15:29] ---
    No, it wasn't, man.
[15:32] ---
    And a good thing...
[15:33] ---
    If it had been, that satellite
    could have flattened you.
[15:37] ---
    This difference in memories...
[15:40] ---
    Is it the Organization's memory control?
[15:44] ---
    Right...
[15:45] ---
    This is the choice of Steins Gate!
[15:51] ---
    That again?
[15:53] ---
    That Stein-whatsit makes no sense,
    you know that?
[15:58] ---
    Daru, get me Future Gadget #1!
[16:00] ---
    Alpaca Man-san got mad because
    you changed the channel.
[16:10] ---
    Darn you, Mr. Braun!
[16:11] ---
    Making us use this piece of crap...
[16:13] ---
    He gave it to us for free, right?
[16:16] ---
    Daru, get the TV!
[16:17] ---
    But I refuse.
[16:19] ---
    It's hot today.
[16:21] ---
    And like,
[16:22] ---
    don't think I'm strong, just 'cause I'm fat.
[16:26] ---
    That's not something to brag about!
[16:30] ---
    Mr. Braun!
[16:33] ---
    I told you to call me Tennouji-san.
[16:37] ---
    I'd like to ask you to fix this immediately...
[16:41] ---
    You broke it already?
[16:44] ---
    You don't have enough love
    for the Braun tubes.
[16:47] ---
    1,000 yen to fix it.
[16:49] ---
    If anyone's at fault here,
    it's you, for giving us defective—
[16:52] ---
    Is that how you address your landlord?
[16:54] ---
    I'll pay the repair bill.
[16:56] ---
    Mayuri-chan, you should give up on this guy.
[17:00] ---
    But Mayushii is Okarin's hostage!
[17:03] ---
    Hostage, huh?
[17:07] ---
    This is broken, too?
[17:08] ---
    Repair bill's 2,000 yen now.
[17:10] ---
    You don't like it, take it back.
[17:13] ---
    What will you do?
[17:19] ---
    It's me.
[17:20] ---
    The Organization's finally gotten
    to that stupid baldy.
[17:24] ---
    I'm encountering sabotage.
[17:26] ---
    Here you go.
[17:30] ---
    You really do like Dr Pepper, Okarin!
[17:37] ---
    It's an intellectual drink, for the chosen ones.
[17:51] ---
    The cicadas are really loud, aren't they?
[17:59] ---
    Daru!
[18:00] ---
    Now that the Organization
[18:02] ---
    has begun using Mr. Braun to sabotage us,
    we're putting the plan into action.
[18:05] ---
    We're backed into a corner!
[18:07] ---
    The plan? The what now?
[18:09] ---
    The plan is the plan!
[18:10] ---
    What else could it be but the introduction of
[18:13] ---
    Future Gadget #8 into actual combat?
[18:14] ---
    Oh, the Phone Microwave
    (name subject to change).
[18:17] ---
    How do you use a microwave
    in combat anyway?
[18:21] ---
    It'll be nearly three and a half
    years since we met.
[18:25] ---
    Second year of high school...
[18:27] ---
    We were in different classes and barely spoke,
[18:29] ---
    so it's more like two years?
[18:30] ---
    The details don't matter.
[18:32] ---
    Anyway, it's been that long.
[18:35] ---
    Please reach the point
[18:37] ---
    where you can keep up
    with my conversations, already.
[18:39] ---
    That is never happening!
[18:42] ---
    Actually, want to try again?
[18:44] ---
    It's all set.
[18:45] ---
    Mayuri, bring the bananas!
[18:47] ---
    You're making gel-banas again?
[18:49] ---
    It's such a waste!
[18:50] ---
    If we're stingy, we can't win
    against the Organization!
[18:53] ---
    We don't need to win...
[18:55] ---
    You know, Mayushii's the one
    bringing bananas, right?
[18:59] ---
    I know.
[19:02] ---
    This is R-E-N-G, the Phone Microwave
    (name subject to change).
[19:06] ---
    You can manipulate the timer here.
[19:09] ---
    Please hit the pound key,
[19:10] ---
    and then the number of seconds
    you wish to time cook.
[19:13] ---
    One, two, zero, pound.
[19:18] ---
    Pretty turntable, isn't it?
[19:20] ---
    It goes in the opposite direction.
[19:23] ---
    Opposite?
[19:25] ---
    Might be important!
[19:26] ---
    When you think of what's happening
    at the quantum level,
[19:31] ---
    and you apply Hund's rules...
[19:32] ---
    I'm sure it... isn't.
[19:34] ---
    It isn't?
[19:35] ---
    Nope.
[19:40] ---
    Hasn't changed.
[19:41] ---
    It doesn't get warm, and it doesn't get cold.
[19:44] ---
    Mayushii's Juicy Fried Chicken #1 got frozen...
[19:47] ---
    Well, something involving Steins Gate
    is at work here! That's clear, anyway!
[19:51] ---
    That again?
[19:52] ---
    Daru, don't you want to try eating this—
[19:54] ---
    No, I don't.
[19:55] ---
    Then we'll give the honor to Mayuri.
[19:58] ---
    The gel-bana was soft and squishy.
[20:03] ---
    And it had no taste.
[20:04] ---
    You ate it?
[20:05] ---
    Mayushii?
[20:07] ---
    Say, "Your banana is soft and squishy."
[20:11] ---
    "Your banana is soft—"
[20:13] ---
    Don't make her say that, pervert!
[20:20] ---
    I-I'm melting...
[20:23] ---
    It hasn't been ten minutes since we left the lab.
[20:26] ---
    When the summer gets hot, I don't want to
    go any farther than Feyris-tan's.
[20:31] ---
    I wish they'd just hold it at MayQueen Nyan Nyan.
[20:35] ---
    They're not going to hold a
    university lecture at a maid café.
[20:39] ---
    If they didn't take attendance, I'd never go.
[20:45] ---
    It's so cold.
[20:48] ---
    I'm alive.
[20:50] ---
    A satellite fell, didn't it?
[20:53] ---
    That again?
[20:55] ---
    You're not going to the Radio building to see it?
[20:57] ---
    Probably too many onlookers to see it anyway.
[21:00] ---
    I'm reading the reports on @chan,
[21:02] ---
    from the people who went.
[21:05] ---
    "Work Temporarily Canceled."
[21:06] ---
    Another giant thread?
[21:10] ---
    Oh, right. Back then...
[21:12] ---
    Give me your cell phone.
[21:13] ---
    Why?
[21:14] ---
    Just do it!
[21:15] ---
    That's a privacy violation! Not allowed!
[21:18] ---
    I sent you a message!
[21:20] ---
    A message about Makise Kurisu being stabbed.
[21:22] ---
    Oh, the one from last week?
[21:24] ---
    Last week?
[21:26] ---
    It was split into three messages.
[21:27] ---
    I thought it was spam!
[21:29] ---
    See?
[21:31] [Messenger] ---
    Okabe Rintarou
    (No Subject)
[21:31] ---
    Sent on July 23rd, 12:56...
[21:35] [Messenger] ---
    "Looks like
    someone stabbed
    Makise Kurisu."
[21:37] ---
    See?
[21:38] ---
    Last week... Let me check my sent folder.
[21:42] [Messenger] ---
    Mayuri
    Re: Upa...
    
    
    
    
    
    Daru
    Let's go!
    
    
    
    
    Mayuri
    Look at this
[21:43] ---
    It's not here!
[21:43] [Messenger] ---
    
    Daru
    Let's go!
    
    
    
    
    Mayuri
    Look at this
    
    
    
    
    Mayuri
    Re: Don't sell it
[21:43] [Messenger] ---
    
    Mayuri
    Look at this
    
    
    
    Mayuri
    Re: Don't sell it
    
    
    
    
    
    Feyris
    Re: Prophecy Song
[21:43] [Messenger] ---
    
    Mayuri
    Re: Don't sell it
    
    
    
    
    Feyris
    Re: Prophecy Song
    
    
    
    Ruka
    Re: I made snacks
[21:44] [Messenger] ---
    
    Feyris
    Re: Prophecy Song
    
    
    
    
    Ruka
    Re: I made snacks
    
    
    
    Daru
    Re: (No subject)
[21:44] ---
    What is today?
[21:46] ---
    The... The 28th.
[21:49] ---
    What's wrong?
[21:50] ---
    The message was sent to the past...