# E2 - Time Travel Paranoia
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR75EXG1Y/time-travel-paranoia)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:12] ---**
Okarin?
**[00:13] ---**
How?
**[00:16] ---**
How?
**[00:21] ---**
I can touch her. She's really here.
**[00:27] ---**
You're not a ghost?
**[00:29] ---**
Do you want me to call the cops?
**[00:31] ---**
I just want to know the truth!
**[00:33] ---**
You were stabbed here...
**[00:37] ---**
What do you mean by "truth"?
**[00:39] ---**
Are you stupid? Do you want to die?
**[00:40] ---**
That's Louise-chan's famous line!
**[00:42] ---**
I saw it!
**[00:44] ---**
You got stabbed!
**[00:47] ---**
Three hours ago,
**[00:48] ---**
at Doctor Nakabachi's press conference,
at the Radio Building!
**[00:50] ---**
Okarin, try to control your delusions.
**[00:52] ---**
Doctor Nakabachi's
press conference was called off!
**[00:55] ---**
But...
**[00:56] ---**
Makise-san! It's almost time!
**[01:00] ---**
All right!
**[01:01] ---**
Wait! Are you running away?
**[01:04] ---**
You're...
**[01:06] ---**
I have a name.
**[01:08] ---**
It's Hououin...
**[01:09] ---**
Kyouma!
***SIGN*** Time Travel Paranoia
***SIGN*** Are Time Machines Possible?
**[02:49] ---**
Thank you all for coming here today.
**[02:54] ---**
I don't have much experience
with lectures like these,
**[02:59] ---**
so I hope you'll bear with me.
**[03:01] ---**
Makise Kurisu's giving the lecture...
**[03:05] ---**
So she isn't a ghost?
**[03:07] ---**
Still talking about that?
**[03:08] ---**
I've been asked to speak to you
about time machines.
**[03:13] ---**
It's a different topic than that
of my *Science Magazine* essay,
**[03:16] ---**
but I'd like to give it a try.
**[03:19] ---**
Time machines?
**[03:21] ---**
I believe that time machines are foolishness.
**[03:29] ---**
I'd like to spend the lecture discussing
how I arrived at that conclusio—
**[03:32] ---**
Objection!
**[03:35] ---**
Time machines are impossible?
**[03:38] ---**
It's far too early to decide that!
**[03:40] ---**
Okarin, you're embarrassing yourself.
**[03:42] ---**
You're...
**[03:47] ---**
I believe that "early" isn't the issue.
**[03:52] ---**
It's theoretically impossible.
**[03:54] ---**
What?
**[03:57] ---**
Well then, let's change the format
of this lecture to a discussion.
**[04:01] ---**
That will make it easier for
certain stubborn people to understand.
**[04:05] ---**
Right? Hououin Kyouma-san?
**[04:19] ---**
Makise Kurisu...
**[04:22] ---**
And from this,
**[04:24] ---**
we can conclude that,
in a string theory-based universe,
**[04:26] ---**
time travel is unrealistic.
**[04:28] ---**
You want to try it?
**[04:30] ---**
Hououin-san?
**[04:34] ---**
I imagine so...
**[04:35] ---**
Then why not find some exotic matter for us,
**[04:39] ---**
Hououin-san?
**[04:43] ---**
That's all I have to say. But if you have
further objections, I'm listening.
**[04:48] ---**
Hououin-san!
**[04:50] ---**
Don't be so damned arrogant,
just because you've some little bit of genius!
**[04:55] ---**
Wait... She must be an Organization agent.
**[04:55] ---**
It's hot... It's so hot...
**[04:59] ---**
The lecture was, itself,
**[05:01] ---**
carefully planned
psychological warfare, aimed at me!
**[05:04] ---**
Well, I'm not falling for it.
***SIGN*** Yanagibayashi Shrine
**[05:15] ---**
Eight...
**[05:19] ---**
Nine...
**[05:20] ---**
Just one more swing.
**[05:21] ---**
You can do it!
**[05:23] ---**
Ten!
**[05:25] ---**
Way to go, Ruka-kun!
**[05:27] ---**
Okarin!
**[05:30] ---**
O-Okabe-san... No, Kyouma-san.
**[05:34] ---**
You forgot the secret words, Ruka.
**[05:39] ---**
E-El Psy... Congre...
**[05:42] ---**
Congroo!
**[05:43] ---**
E-Excuse me.
**[05:45] ---**
So what did you want me to carry?
**[05:48] ---**
Right here.
**[05:49] ---**
Thanks.
**[05:51] ---**
Mayushii can't carry all this.
**[05:54] ---**
My dad got them, and we can't eat them all.
**[05:59] ---**
I see.
**[06:00] ---**
Thank you for donating these
provisions to the lab.
**[06:03] ---**
This will raise lab member morale.
**[06:05] ---**
I'm so glad you like them...
**[06:08] ---**
Um... Well...
**[06:10] ---**
Ruka-kun practices sword swings daily!
**[06:14] ---**
Yes. I promised Oka... I mean, Kyouma-san.
**[06:19] ---**
When the Magic Blade Samidare
acknowledges you as a suitable wielder,
**[06:24] ---**
it will display its true power.
**[06:26] ---**
Do not forget that.
**[06:27] ---**
Yes!
**[06:27] ---**
You got such a deal on it
at the weapons store. Only 980 yen!
**[06:33] ---**
Then show me the results of your training.
**[06:37] ---**
Can you attempt an exorcism?
**[06:38] ---**
I-I suppose... But...
**[06:42] ---**
If you need a real exorcism,
you should talk to my father...
**[06:47] ---**
An evil spirit has possessed my right hand!
**[06:51] ---**
Hurry and do the exorcism,
before the power overtakes my entire body!
**[06:54] ---**
R-Right!
**[06:56] ---**
That's a different hand than last time.
**[06:59] ---**
The evil spirit possessed
this one today, okay?
**[07:01] ---**
*Urushibara Ruka.*
**[07:04] ---**
*The mannerisms and voice of a woman...*
**[07:07] ---**
*No... More feminine than any woman.*
**[07:11] ---**
*But he's a guy.*
**[07:13] ---**
*Taller than Mayuri, but so very thin...*
**[07:17] ---**
*But he's a guy.*
**[07:19] ---**
*Looks great in a priestess outfit...*
**[07:22] ---**
*But he's a guy.*
**[07:24] ---**
*It's already twilight.*
**[07:26] ---**
*And yet, it's so hot.*
**[07:28] ---**
*The cicadas are crying.*
**[07:30] ---**
*But...*
**[07:33] ---**
*He's a guy.*
**[07:34] ---**
Bye-bye!
**[07:39] ---**
Ruka-kun's so great,
able to do those exorcisms!
**[07:42] ---**
He's a shrine family's son, yes.
**[07:48] ---**
Sorry.
***SIGN*** Restricted Area Akihabara Police
**[07:54] ---**
It's off-limits?
**[07:56] ---**
Yeah, this leads behind the Radio Building.
**[08:00] ---**
The Radio Building...
**[08:11] ---**
Give me those.
**[08:13] ---**
You've got work soon, right?
**[08:18] ---**
Thank you.
**[08:24] ---**
I'm working late tonight,
so I'm just going home afterward.
**[08:28] ---**
Mayuri...
**[08:30] ---**
You really didn't hear a scream, did you?
**[08:34] ---**
A scream? When?
**[08:36] ---**
Today, at the Radio Building.
**[08:39] ---**
I don't think I did.
**[08:42] ---**
I see...
**[08:44] ---**
All right.
**[08:45] ---**
Then that's fine.
**[08:47] ---**
Oh, Okarin...
**[08:50] ---**
So no one remembers...
**[08:54] ---**
Not Mayuri. Not Daru. Not Makise Kurisu.
***SIGN*** Open
***SIGN*** Closed
**[09:02] ---**
You're closing up early today, Mr. Braun!
**[09:05] ---**
I told you not to call me that.
**[09:08] ---**
I'm interviewing a part-timer today.
**[09:11] ---**
A part-timer?
**[09:12] ---**
At a dreary shop with no customers,
**[09:15] ---**
run by an over-muscled old guy?
**[09:17] ---**
You know...
**[09:20] ---**
'Sup!
**[09:26] ---**
I heard that's the popular way to say hi now.
**[09:30] ---**
This can't possibly be your part-timer...
**[09:32] ---**
Is that a problem?
**[09:33] ---**
Your name?
**[09:34] ---**
Amane Suzuha.
**[09:35] ---**
Age?
**[09:35] ---**
Eighteen.
**[09:36] ---**
Reason for working here?
**[09:37] ---**
I love CRT TVs!
**[09:38] ---**
You're hired!
**[09:39] ---**
Is this a comedy routine?
**[09:41] ---**
Some kind of joke?
**[09:42] ---**
Who are you?
**[09:43] ---**
His name's Okabe.
**[09:44] ---**
He's an idiot who rents a room upstairs.
**[09:47] ---**
It's not Okabe! It's Hououin—
**[09:49] ---**
Shut up! I'll double your rent.
**[09:51] ---**
I'm Okabe Rintarou.
**[09:52] ---**
Hi!
**[09:53] ---**
Say, what's in those bags?
**[09:55] ---**
Special Intelligence Corn
that was donated to the lab.
**[09:58] ---**
If you want some, you must
adequately compensate—
**[10:00] ---**
Corn?
**[10:01] ---**
With the little bumps?
**[10:03] ---**
So this is how it looks fresh.
**[10:05] ---**
You didn't know?
**[10:06] ---**
Can I see—
**[10:08] ---**
The Organization has targeted many people
**[10:11] ---**
because they came into contact with me.
**[10:13] ---**
Sara, Claudia, Simona...
**[10:17] ---**
I see.
**[10:18] ---**
If you want, we could talk about it.
**[10:20] ---**
Don't take him seriously.
He's just making that up.
**[10:25] ---**
Think that if you like.
**[10:27] ---**
Someday, the entire world
will bow at my feet.
**[10:34] ---**
So, that's what's popular these days...
***SIGN*** Unknown satellite crashes near Akihabara Station, around 12:00...
**[10:53] ---**
Crashed around 12:00...
**[10:57] ---**
So Mayuri and Daru were right.
**[11:08] ---**
The conference was canceled?
***SIGN*** Doctor Nakabachi Press Conference
**[11:11] ---**
Makise Kurisu stabbed...
**[11:17] ---**
Was that some kind of hallucination?
**[11:27] ---**
@channel
**[11:34] ---**
John Titor?
**[11:36] [Messenger] ---**
A time traveler's here! LOLOLOL
**[11:42] ---**
SERN maintains an exclusive monopoly
on time machines.
**[11:46] ---**
Neither civilians nor corporations
may acquire one.
**[11:50] ---**
They've used the time machine
for their sole benefit,
**[11:53] ---**
to bring about dystopia.
**[11:56] ---**
I've come here to change the future.
**[12:00] ---**
To destroy SERN's dystopia,
and to set the world free again.
**[12:05] ---**
Then you claim SERN = Dictators?
**[12:09] ---**
You mean the so-called
Grandfather Paradox, right?
**[12:11] [Messenger] ---**
257 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
All I can think of is the European Laboratory for Particle Physics.
**[12:12] ---**
There's no such thing.
**[12:12] [Messenger] ---**
451 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
If you time travel, can you meet yourself in the past?
**[12:13] ---**
It's possible to meet yourself in the past.
**[12:16] ---**
If you do, you simply move world lines.
**[12:18] [Messenger] ---**
What's a world line?
Inb4 parallel worlds.
**[12:20] ---**
Let me start by saying
**[12:21] ---**
that time isn't a single line,
moving from past to future.
**[12:25] ---**
It's comprised of infinite parallel lines,
like rivers, called "world lines."
**[12:31] ---**
For example, let's say a serial killer
were going to murder you today.
**[12:35] ---**
If I came from the future and prevented it,
**[12:38] ---**
the world would diverge into two:
**[12:40] ---**
a world in which you survived,
and a world in which you died.
**[12:49] ---**
So, this Titor is Japanese, huh?
**[12:51] ---**
A self-proclaimed time traveler,
**[12:53] ---**
who appeared on the American internet,
in the year 2000.
**[12:57] ---**
He claimed he'd come from the year 2036,
to save the future.
**[13:03] ---**
He then became famous on the internet,
with several books published about him.
**[13:07] ---**
I didn't think I'd see some idiot
pretending to be Titor now.
**[13:11] [Messenger] ---**
618 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
Pretending to be? Huh?
**[13:13] ---**
Then click this link and go read up on Titor!
**[13:18] ---**
Daru must've deleted the link on Titor...
**[13:24] [Messenger] ---**
John Titor About 12 Results
**[13:26] ---**
Twelve?
**[13:27] ---**
Impossible.
**[13:28] ---**
Sure, it was ten years ago, but it was huge!
**[13:33] ---**
It can't be!
**[13:34] [Messenger] ---**
John Titor About 56 results
**[13:36] ---**
They're not here!
**[13:37] ---**
They're not here! They're not here!
**[13:39] ---**
I had a collection of books on him right here.
**[13:41] ---**
Damn it!
**[13:48] ---**
Hello?
**[13:49] ---**
Daru?
**[13:49] ---**
What is it?
**[13:51] ---**
I'm with Feyris-tan...
**[13:52] ---**
What happened to the books?
**[13:53] ---**
The books?
**[13:54] ---**
The books on John Titor.
**[13:57] ---**
I had a bunch of them
on the bookshelf, right?
**[13:59] ---**
Where'd they go?
**[14:00] ---**
Wait, Okarin?
**[14:01] ---**
What?
**[14:03] ---**
Who's John Titor?
**[14:10] ---**
I stayed up most of the night
looking into John Titor.
**[14:14] ---**
I found every bit of information
I could on the internet.
**[14:18] ---**
But...
**[14:21] ---**
I want an answer from Titor.
**[14:22] ---**
About ten years ago...
In other words, the year 2000.
**[14:26] ---**
It's interesting that you should ask that.
**[14:29] ---**
But unfortunately,
I've never been to the year 2000.
**[14:33] ---**
Nor do I intend to go.
**[14:49] ---**
Hey! Wait!
**[14:51] ---**
You there! You! You!
**[14:55] ---**
You took my picture, didn't you?
**[14:56] ---**
You should delete it! For your own sake!
**[15:02] ---**
I apologize
**[15:03] ---**
if I've made you unhappy.
**[15:07] ---**
What were you taking pictures of?
**[15:09] ---**
Proof.
**[15:12] ---**
Of where I walked today...
Of what I saw.
**[15:23] ---**
I want to ask you about something.
**[15:26] ---**
This.
**[15:29] ---**
That's a really old PC.
**[15:31] ---**
Do you recognize it?
**[15:32] ---**
No.
**[15:33] ---**
Do you know anyone who might?
**[15:35] ---**
Daru, maybe...
**[15:37] ---**
Who is that?
**[15:38] ---**
Nothing to do with you.
**[15:40] ---**
Delete that photo.
**[15:44] ---**
Tell me...
**[15:45] ---**
The e-mail...
**[15:46] ---**
For that person.
**[15:48] ---**
No!
**[15:52] ---**
Are you trying to threaten me?
**[15:55] ---**
If you tell me,
**[15:56] ---**
I'll delete it.
**[16:02] ---**
Very well.
**[16:03] ---**
But I won't sell out my friends!
**[16:06] ---**
I'll give you my own address.
**[16:10] ---**
What's your name?
**[16:11] ---**
It says "Hououin Kyouma" right there!
**[16:14] [Messenger] ---**
Oubouin Kyouma
**[16:19] ---**
Give me that.
**[16:27] ---**
Send me a blank mail.
**[16:28] ---**
I'll just send something back.
**[16:33] ---**
Welcome back, Master!
**[16:37] ---**
It's Okarin!
**[16:38] ---**
Welcome, Okarin!
**[16:42] ---**
Yo, Mayuri.
**[16:44] ---**
When I'm working, it's Mayushii Nyan Nyan!
**[16:48] ---**
Come to think of it,
"Okarin" kinda sounds like "Welcome."
**[16:52] ---**
Where's Daru?
**[16:53] ---**
He's in the back.
**[16:56] ---**
Kyouma!
**[16:57] ---**
I've missed you.
**[16:59] ---**
What happened to your promise
to visit every three days?
**[17:02] ---**
I'm sorry.
**[17:03] ---**
The Organization's sabotage
has been just awful...
**[17:05] ---**
The Organization's gone that far?
**[17:07] ---**
Then you'll hold another secret meeting
today on defeating them?
**[17:10] ---**
That's right.
**[17:11] ---**
Give me the usual Stealth Field.
**[17:13] ---**
On it!
**[17:14] ---**
I wish you'd let me join!
**[17:15] ---**
No!
**[17:16] ---**
The Organization is far
too vast for you to handle!
**[17:19] ---**
But I've got my forbidden special move...
**[17:22] ---**
What?
**[17:23] ---**
You finally mastered it?
**[17:26] ---**
That's right.
**[17:27] ---**
After months of harsh training
in the Guiana Highlands,
**[17:30] ---**
and having overcome
my master's death, at last I...
**[17:33] ---**
I mastered it!
**[17:36] ---**
I'll never forgive you. Ever.
**[17:41] ---**
So about what I said in my mail...
**[17:43] ---**
I believe talking to a winner
makes me a loser.
**[17:47] ---**
Don't worry.
**[17:49] ---**
I've no interest in that girl and her lies.
**[17:51] ---**
Is this today's "You're the last one
I want to hear that from" thread?
**[17:54] ---**
Shut up, cheater!
**[17:57] ---**
Your 2D wives are crying.
**[17:58] ---**
Feyris-tan is special!
**[17:59] ---**
She may be 3D, but she has a 2D soul!
**[18:02] ---**
Anyway, look at this.
**[18:04] ---**
This picture.
**[18:07] ---**
That's an IBN 5100, right?
**[18:10] ---**
IBN?
**[18:11] ---**
A legendary retro-PC.
**[18:14] ---**
It was about a month ago...
**[18:16] ---**
I heard a rumor one was
somewhere in Akihabara.
**[18:19] ---**
She must've heard that.
**[18:20] ---**
What happened?
**[18:21] ---**
No one ever found it.
**[18:23] ---**
Even the famous "Lightning-Speed
Night Heart" tried to find it and failed.
**[18:26] ---**
Meaning it probably never existed
in the first place, is my final answer.
**[18:30] ---**
It's that valuable?
**[18:32] ---**
It was sold over thirty years ago.
**[18:35] ---**
At the time, no one bought PCs.
They were too expensive.
**[18:39] ---**
That's how stuff ends up incredibly rare.
**[18:45] ---**
That girl...
**[18:47] ---**
I sent that mail...
**[18:49] ---**
I'm Kiryuu Moeka...
**[18:50] [Messenger] ---**
Date/Time:
Sender: The Lightning Shiatsu-ist
Subject: I'm waiting
Hououin-san, I sent that mail!
I'm Kiryuu Moeka!
Age 20! No real job!
I can mail you, right?
I'm sending it,
whether you like it or not!
Moeka
**[18:52] ---**
Age 20... No real job...
I'm sending it, whether you like it or not...
**[18:57] ---**
This is the same girl I just talked to?
**[19:00] ---**
What's wrong?
**[19:01] ---**
Be glad I didn't sell you out.
**[19:05] ---**
It's a rare and valuable PC,
**[19:06] ---**
but there's a good chance
it's not in Akihabara.
**[19:09] ---**
El Psy Congroo.
**[19:12] ---**
Master!
**[19:14] ---**
Here you go nyan-nyan!
**[19:16] ---**
It's my "The World's In Danger" omelet!
***SIGN*** The World's In Danger!!
**[19:20] ---**
Yummy...
**[19:21] ---**
Calm down.
***SIGN*** The World's In Danger!!
**[19:30] ---**
Analysis at the university laboratory
**[19:30] ---**
Toyko Denki University
**[19:33] ---**
reveals that the gel-banas
**[19:35] ---**
have been torn apart on a molecular level.
**[19:38] ---**
So they turned into
something that wasn't a banana.
**[19:42] ---**
Isn't that bad?
**[19:44] ---**
What's going on?
**[19:46] ---**
Right now, the one thing
that comes to mind
**[19:48] ---**
is the EM wave effect from the
Phone Microwave (name subject to change).
**[19:52] ---**
Why think that?
**[19:53] ---**
My intuition as a mad scientist.
**[19:55] ---**
So, no reason.
**[19:57] ---**
Okay, it's all set.
**[19:59] ---**
Then let's use this.
***SIGN*** Property of Mayushii
**[20:02] ---**
Aren't these Mayushii's?
**[20:05] ---**
Don't worry.
**[20:06] ---**
I bought them with research funds
Mayuri donated to the lab.
**[20:10] ---**
Doesn't that make them hers—
**[20:11] ---**
Now, let's toss the whole thing in
and see what happens.
**[20:14] ---**
Wouldn't one work? Hurr.
**[20:20] ---**
Can we really learn the Phone Microwave
(name subject to change)'s true power
**[20:23] ---**
that way?
**[20:24] ---**
That (name subject to change)
is annoying. We should take it off.
**[20:34] ---**
We can't change the world's ruling structure
**[20:36] ---**
if we're stingy with experiment funding!
**[20:39] ---**
You're the only one who wants to, you know?
**[20:42] ---**
Really?
**[20:43] ---**
Yeah, of course.
**[20:46] ---**
Okay, done.
**[20:51] ---**
What's wrong?
**[20:52] ---**
It's gone...
**[20:53] ---**
The banana's gone!
**[20:55] ---**
Impossible!
**[20:59] ---**
It's me.
**[21:01] ---**
Emergency order 666.
**[21:02] ---**
Initiate the cool-off!
**[21:04] ---**
Government approval?
**[21:06] ---**
No time for that!
**[21:08] ---**
Talking to yourself... Fail!
**[21:09] ---**
Shut up!
**[21:10] ---**
Where'd you hide it?
**[21:11] ---**
What? You're the one who hid it, Okarin.
**[21:15] ---**
I see... I get it!
**[21:17] ---**
This must be some kind
of teleporter microwave!
**[21:20] ---**
Wh-What?
**[21:22] ---**
That's crazy.
**[21:24] ---**
Then how do you explain this?
**[21:26] ---**
We took the banana from the bunch,
put it in the microwave, and...
**[21:38] ---**
Gel-bana...
**[21:41] ---**
But it's completely connected
to the rest of the bunch...
**[21:45] ---**
We definitely removed one before, right?
**[21:48] ---**
I think so...
**[21:50] ---**
It's really a teleporter?
**[21:53] ---**
Is that what it is?
**[21:55] ---**
You're doing an interesting experiment,
Okabe Rintarou.
**[21:59] ---**
No, Hououin Kyouma-san, wasn't it?
**[22:05] ---**
Makise Kurisu?