E3 - Kill the Suspicious Person! \ Middle School Diary \ Don't Feed the Cute Girls \ Fifteen Years in Solitude

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Nat
    Parasaurolophus was a dinosaur that thrived
[00:06] Nat
    on what is now the North American
    continent during the Cretaceous period.
[00:11] Nat
    They say it could grow to ten meters in height,
[00:14] Nat
    and its weight exceeded four tons.
[00:16] Nat
    It had a uniquely-shaped crest that
    extended backwards from its head.
[00:21] Nat
    The crest contained tubes that
    connected to its nostrils,
[00:25] Nat
    which, it is said, produced a
    sound similar to an oboe.
[00:29] Aza
    Today's point of interest!
[02:01] Sak
    I hate my weakness...
[02:04] Sak
    I want...
[02:06] Sak
    I want power!
[02:09] Sak
    It won't open!
[02:11] Nat
    You make a mountain out
    of every molehill, don't you?
SIGN    Kill the Suspicious Person!
SIGN    Kill the Suspicious Person!
SIGN    Record 8
[02:28] Bot
    Here. It's open.
[02:30] Sak
    Oh! Thank you, Botan-chan!
[02:35] Sak
    Yes! Carbonated drinks! Yes!
[02:38] Sak
    Well, she doesn't usually
    get to make use of it,
[02:40] Sak
    but it's a big help at times like this, huh?
[02:42] Sak
    Botan-chan's "super-strong" setting!
[02:44] Nat
    Don't call it my "setting."
[02:46] Nat
    Well, if you really feel like
     you never get to use it,
[02:48] Nat
    you should teach us some simple
    self-defense techniques!
[02:52] Kar
    I want to learn some techniques, too!
[02:54] Cla
    Good idea.
[02:55] Cla
    You're cute, so it'd be a
    good thing for you to know.
[02:59] Nat
    Something bothers me about
    the way you said that...
[03:03] Bot
    Right!
[03:04] Bot
    Then, I'll teach you the
    secrets of Hagitsuki-ryuu!
[03:07] Nat
    That's not necessary.
[03:08] Bot
    Okay, Sakura, can you be my opponent?
[03:11] Sak
    Leave it to me!
[03:14] Sak
    I happened to bring my
    "Suspicious Person Kit" today.
[03:16] Nat
    Why?!
[03:18] Sak
    Well?
[03:18] Sak
    Do I look like a suspicious person?
[03:21] Cla
    Yes, you're totally suspicious.
[03:23] Bot
    A level of suspicious we rarely
    see in this day and age.
[03:25] Nat
    I'd report you to the police.
[03:27] Kar
    You'd even make children cry!
[03:32] Nat
    Why are you sulking?
[03:34] Nat
    You're a real pain.
SIGN    Boom
[03:37] Bot
    Okay, Sakura!
[03:39] Bot
    Attack me however you like!
SIGN    Curry
[03:42] Sak
    I'm going to send you joke faxes!
[03:46] Nat
    Why is she attacking with
    psychological warfare?
[03:50] Sak
    I'll put fermented soy
    beans in your mailbox.
[03:52] Nat
    These are all really underhanded attacks!
[03:55] Sak
    Okay, I'll put socks I wore
    for two weeks straight
[03:58] Sak
    over the summer in your mailbox.
[03:59] Nat
    That's the same approach!
[04:00] Bot
    Enough. Just attack me directly.
[04:03] Bot
    If you don't, I can't use any
    self-defense techniques.
[04:05] Sak
    Okay, then!
[04:06] Sak
    I'm gonna lick the back of your knees!
[04:10] Sak
    Oh no!
[04:11] Sak
    I can't lick them with this mask in the way!
[04:14] Nat
    What an idiot.
[04:17] Aza
    Roll!
[04:18] Bot
    If you're attacked from the front,
    take the attacker's arm like this.
[04:23] Bot
    In this situation, the pinky finger is key.
[04:27] Bot
    Keep the pinky, the attacker's
    weak point, held down.
[04:32] Botan
    Then just twist that arm outwards.
[04:36] Botan
    Of course, I won't do that
    now, since it's dangerous.
[04:38] Sak
    Wow... And then I wouldn't be able to move?
[04:41] Bot
    Nope. You'd burst.
[04:48] Man
    Hidebu!
SIGN    Censored
[04:51] Nat
    We can't use that.
[04:54] Kar
    Botan-senpai.
[04:56] Kar
    What do you mean by "burst"?
[04:58] Botan
    Well, you see...
SIGN    Middle School Diary
SIGN    Record 9 Middle School Diary
    (Black Diary)
[05:04] Cla
    Hello.
[05:05] Cla
    It's me.
[05:07] Cla
    Yes, it's...
[05:09] Cla
    the usual.
[05:10] Nat
    The usual?
[05:15] Nat
    Is that...
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Rewind
SIGN    Pause
SIGN    Play
[05:29] Cla
    Yes. Please take care of it.
[05:31] Nat
    She did that right at the beginning.
[05:32] Cla
    No, it's not as bad as last time.
    You shouldn't need the marble block.
[05:37] Nat
    Ah... the usual, huh?
[05:43] Kar
    She defeated the suspicious person!
[05:45] Kar
    Botan-senpai sure is strong.
[05:48] Kar
    I want to be just like Botan-senpai!
[05:51] Cla
    You can't.
[05:52] Kar
    Huh?
[05:53] Cla
    You mustn't become like Botan-san.
[05:56] Kar
    O-Okay...
[06:00] Cla
    You absolutely mustn't.
[06:02] Nat
    Don't worry.
[06:03] Nat
    I'm sure she won't.
[06:05] Bot
    It's true that I'm strong.
[06:08] Bot
    It takes no effort for me to make a
    normal person burst at the seams.
[06:12] Bot
    But that is not where true strength lies.
[06:18] Bot
    The true strength that people seek
[06:21] Bot
    lies not in the body, but in the mind.
[06:24] Kar
    What do you mean by "burst"?
[06:27] Sak
    So you undergo mental
    training too, Botan-chan?
[06:32] Bot
    Yes.
[06:34] Bot
    For instance...
[06:37] Bot
    I am unfazed when someone reads
    my diary from middle school!
[06:41] Sak
    Wh-What?
[06:43] Sak
    Impossible!
[06:44] Sak
    Middle school diaries are full of
    immature urges, reckless ignorance,
[06:49] Sak
    unrealistic ideals, bitter love stories...
[06:51] Sak
    It all comes together in a
    Pandora's Box of chaos!
SIGN    Pandora's Box
[06:55] Sak
    They say that, the day a stranger opens it,
[06:57] Sak
    even a seasoned master will writhe in agony
[07:00] Sak
    and suffer a mental breakdown!
[07:03] Nat
    Where do they say that?
[07:06] Cla
    Th-That's true...
[07:08] Cla
    Even for a practitioner of
     the peerless Hagitsuki-ryuu,
[07:11] Cla
    such a claim is hard to fathom...
[07:13] Nat
    Why are you trembling?
[07:15] Bot
    Incidentally, I have it here.
[07:17] Nat
    You carry it around with you?!
SIGN    Diary, Age 14
[07:19] Sak
    Th-This is...
[07:22] Sak
    The title even has daggers bookending it!
[07:25] Sak
    A normal person would faint from the
    agony of someone else just seeing that!
[07:30] Nat
    You can get that symbol
    just by typing in "Dagger."
SIGN    Dagger
[07:37] Nat
    By the way...
[07:38] Nat
    Is this note even necessary?
SIGN    Sorry, this diary
    is Japanese only.
[07:41] Nat
    Is it an old personal web page or something?
[07:44] Sak
    Is it really okay to read this?
[07:46] Bot
    Yes, it's no problem.
[07:57] Nat
    Sakura-senpai!
[07:59] Nat
    What happened?!
[08:00] Nat
    Was it a forbidden magic spell?
[08:02] Sak
    P-Parasaurolophus...
[08:05] Sak
    A Parasaurolophus's horn is stabbing me...
[08:08] Nat
    She's even rambling incoherently!
SIGN    Horn X
SIGN    Crest O
[08:10] Aza
    Bzzt!
[08:13] Nat
    Just what is written in that diary?
[08:21] Nat
    I'm... going to read it.
[08:25] Nat
    I'll read it aloud so you all can hear.
[08:33] Nat
    Okay. I'll read this part.
[08:36] Nat
    "July 12th. I am broken glass."
[08:42] Nat
    "No one will come near me."
[08:44] Nat
    "Anyone who touches me gets hurt."
[08:47] Nat
    "And yet..."
[08:49] Nat
    "When bathed in light,
    I will surely glitter."
[08:54] Kar
    Nat-chan!
[08:57] Bot
    I'm glass, huh?
[09:01] Bot
    That's a pretty interesting
    metaphor I came up with.
[09:05] Bot
    "When bathed in light,
    I will surely glitter."
[09:10] Bot
    I guess there was a time
    when I believed that...
[09:13] Cla
    She took no damage from having
    that read aloud in front of her?
[09:16] Kar
    Nat-chan, here's some water.
[09:18] Cla
    This... This is Hagitsuki-ryuu!
[09:22] Bot
    After that, I started high school
[09:26] Bot
    and met a light by the name of Sakura.
[09:31] Kar
    Botan-senpai really is amazing.
[09:35] Kar
    She can write things that
    affect people this much.
[09:41] Kar
    Maybe I should keep a diary, too!
[09:48] Aza
    You shouldn't look directly at the sun.
[09:50] Aza
    Use special glasses or a solar filter to do so!
SIGN    The next total solar eclipse is on June 1st, 2030!!
SIGN    Chronicles of the Going Home Club
SIGN    Going Home Club Photo Gallery
SIGN    Ah, summer. Hydrangeas are the essence of summer. -Botan
[10:00] Aza
    Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat!
SIGN    Now We're in a Battle?!
[10:03] Aza
    Now we're in a battle!
SIGN    Lies
[10:05] Cla
    Pinching the legs to fire?
[10:07] Cla
    That takes me back!
SIGN    Corpse
[10:09] Cla
    I used to modify them, too.
[10:11] Cla
    I tried attaching a long barrel, for instance.
[10:15] Cla
    I even attached a magazine
    made from a plastic bottle,
[10:17] Cla
    but it jammed so easily.
[10:21] Cla
    There!
[10:23] Cla
    Karin-san, say "ah"!
[10:24] Kar
    Ah!
[10:26] Nat/Sak
    How much are you going to spoil her?!
SIGN    Record 10
SIGN    Don't Feed the Cute Girls
[10:34] Cla
    How rude!
[10:36] Cla
    I'm not spoiling her.
[10:38] Cla
    I was just peeling an orange for her.
[10:40] Nat
    What high school student
    can't peel their own oranges?!
[10:43] Cla
    But it's dangerous if you get
    orange juice in your eyes.
[10:45] Kar
    My eyes! It hurts!
[10:46] Nat
    You're just being overprotective!
[10:48] Sak
    To be honest, Claire-chan,
[10:51] Sak
    I think you've been spoiling
     Karin-chan too much lately.
[10:53] Cla
    Karin-san, I put more lead in
    your mechanical pencil for you.
[10:57] Kar
    Oh, thank you!
[10:59] Sak
    That's exactly what I'm talking about!
[11:01] Cla
    But, if the lead were
    to stab her in the eye—
[11:04] Nat
    It won't!
[11:05] Sak
    What if you spoil her so much,
[11:07] Sak
    she becomes the kind of person who
    can't do anything for herself?
[11:11] Sak
    Could you take responsibility
[11:13] Sak
    for looking after Karin-chan
    for the rest of your life?
[11:16] Cla
    Yes, I could.
[11:18] Sak/Nat
    You could?
[11:21] Cla
    It's true.
[11:23] Cla
    If there is one thing that
    could drive me to sin,
[11:27] Cla
    it would be...
[11:30] Cla
    Karin-san's cuteness.
[11:44] Nat
    Enough of that joke already!
[11:45] Nat
    And don't draw Karin floating in
    the sky like someone who's dead!
[11:49] Sak
    How nice for you, Karin-chan.
[11:52] Sak
    You've won at life.
[11:56] Nat
    Oh no!
[11:57] Nat
    The club president has given up on something!
[11:59] Nat
    If you give up, Karin is done for!
[12:02] Bot
    Well, it's true that spoiling someone
    all the time won't help them.
[12:06] Nat
    She just gave good advice!
    Her diary is still ridiculous, though.
[12:09] Bot
    It's a good idea to be strict sometimes.
[12:13] Bot
    They say even the lion drops
    his cub into a valley of carrots.
[12:16] Nat
    That must be rough for a carnivore.
SIGN    Discipline
[12:19] Bot
    Or maybe it was a valley of discipline...
SIGN    Valley of Discipline X
SIGN    Deep Abyss O
[12:21] ---
    Bzzt!
[12:23] Nat
    I feel bad for the cub!
[12:24] Nat
    You should discipline it yourself!
[12:27] Bot
    Okay.
[12:28] Bot
    Karin, come with me for a moment.
[12:30] Kar
    Huh?
[12:33] Bot
    Now, Karin!
[12:35] Bot
    Climb this stairway with your own two legs!
[12:37] Nat
    How low are you setting the bar?!
[12:39] Kar
    No way...
[12:40] Kar
    I have to climb all these stairs by myself?
[12:42] Nat
    What?
[12:43] Nat
    Why are you just going with the flow?
[12:46] Kar
    But there are at least ten steps...
[12:48] Nat
    You walked up them at lunch
     while humming to yourself!
[12:51] Sak
    Hey...
[12:52] Sak
    Botan-chan, this might be a bit much...
[12:55] Nat
    Not her, too!
[12:57] Nat
    You can climb a staircase
     hopping on one leg!
[12:59] Cla
    Wait a minute.
[13:00] Cla
    I'll call my bodyguard.
[13:02] Cla
    He'll climb it for you.
[13:03] Nat
    You're missing the point completely!
[13:06] Cla
    Then, I'll call a helicopter...
[13:07] Nat
    How high are you planning on taking her?!
[13:09] Bot
    If you can't walk up, you may
    climb on your hands and knees.
[13:12] Nat
    She gave up on making her
    use her own two legs!
[13:32] Bot
    I see.
[13:33] Bot
    Very well.
[13:56] Bot
    All you have to do is hold on to me.
[14:02] Kar
    Botan-senpai...
[14:11] Kar
    What do you mean by "burst"?
SIGN    Give the seals some love, too!
[14:20] Aza
    Give the seals some love, too!
[14:42] Bot
    7:30, huh?
[14:45] Bot
    Waking up early on a Sunday
    makes me feel like I'm losing out.
[15:01] Bot
    Right.
[15:02] Bot
    I'll do some warm-up exercises.
[15:27] Bot
    I guess it's lunchtime.
SIGN    White Seal Ramen
SIGN    Andou Natsuki-san's Pictures
SIGN    Fried Rice
SIGN    Fried rice?!
[15:48] Botan
    Even in the pictures she uploads herself,
[15:50] Botan
    she includes retorts.
[15:51] Botan
    She's so dedicated.
SIGN    Like!?
SIGN    Touno
    Karin-san's
    Pictures
SIGN    Napping in the sun
SIGN    Napping in the sun. He looks comfy.
SIGN    Like!?
SIGN    Time for lunch!
[15:58] Bot
    Karin's Feminine Appeal level is as high as ever.
SIGN    Like!?
SIGN    I made cookies!
SIGN    Like!?
[16:04] Bot
    There.
[16:05] Bot
    I've finished "liking" all the pictures that
[16:07] Bot
    my cute underclassman friends have uploaded.
SIGN    Doumyouji
    Sakura-san's
    Pictures
SIGN    This snail
    forgot
     his shell!!
    What a
    scatterbrain!!
[16:10] Bot
    Sakura... is uploading
    nonsensical pictures again.
[16:14] Bot
    I wish there was a "Die" button
    next to the "Like" button.
SIGN    Like
[16:18] Bot
    Huh?
SIGN    Nishi Tamao-san
SIGN    Kakio Arare-san
[16:20] Bot
    I think this girl was in my third
    year class in middle school.
[16:25] Bot
    It's been a while...
[16:27] Bot
    I wonder how she's doing.
SIGN    Kakio Arare-san's pictures
SIGN    Went to my middle school class reunion!
SIGN    Went to my middle school class reunion!
    Even the teachers came, it was so fun!
    We went for karaoke after (lol)
SIGN    Likes!?: 26
[16:36] Bot
    Whew!
[16:37] Bot
    Thank goodness!
[16:39] Bot
    It's a good thing I've done mental training!
[16:41] Bot
    A normal person would've had a mental
    breakdown and died from seeing that.
SIGN    Record 11
SIGN    Fifteen Years in Solitude
[16:47] Bot
    ...and that's what happened yesterday.
[16:49] Bot
    Wow, it's been so long since
    I broke a punching bag!
[16:54] Nat
    Botan-senpai, you didn't have any friends
    in your third year middle school class?
[16:59] Bot
    Not just in my third year.
[17:00] Bot
    Sakura is the first person I've
    ever been able to call a friend.
SIGN    Friend #1
[17:06] Nat
    You've walked a seriously lonely road...
[17:09] Kar
    What?!
[17:09] Kar
    But why?!
[17:11] Kar
    Botan-senpai is so nice!
[17:14] Sak
    I don't think it was that they didn't like her...
[17:16] Sak
    They were just afraid of her.
[17:19] Sak
    Botan-chan unconsciously exudes
    a murderous aura, after all.
[17:23] Sak
    Normal people sense it instinctively
    and keep their distance.
[17:27] Kar
    But I've never thought of
    Botan-senpai as scary even once.
[17:32] Sak
    That's because she was already
    with us when you met her!
[17:36] Sak
    When she's like this,
    you don't have to be afraid.
[17:41] Sak
    If you'd met her in a situation like this,
[17:43] Sak
    she might have made a different impression.
[17:46] Kar
    I think I understand...
[17:49] Kar
    But then, Sakura-senpai,
[17:51] Kar
    how did you get to be
    friends with Botan-senpai?
[17:54] Sak
    What?
[17:57] (Flashback) Bot
    After that, I started high school
[18:01] (Flashback) Bot
    and met a light by the name of Sakura.
[18:07] Nat
    What on earth happened in their past?
[18:11] Bot
    Before I met Sakura,
[18:13] Bot
    I had spent my whole life alone.
[18:16] Bot
    But that had its positives, too.
[18:20] Bot
    Hagitsuki-ryuu is closely
    tied to your mental strength.
[18:25] Bot
    So the loneliness made my body stronger.
[18:30] Bot
    Thanks to my training,
[18:31] Bot
    when we were told to
    pair up in gym class,
[18:34] Bot
    I got through it using afterimages
    made by high-speed motion.
[18:38] Nat
    You wouldn't have needed to
    do that if you had friends...
[18:42] Bot
    If any of you ever seriously tried to hit me,
[18:45] Bot
    I don't think it would even hurt me.
[18:47] Sak
    Huh?
[18:49] Sak
    That can't be true!
[18:51] Sak
    Because... See?
[18:53] Sak
    Your cheeks are as soft as anyone else's!
[18:56] Sak
    Poke, poke!
[18:57] Botan
    Well then, why don't you try, Sakura?
[19:00] Botan
    Get serious.
[19:02] Sak
    You asked for it!
[19:05] Sak
    Don't you dare...
[19:08] Sak
    regret saying that now!
[19:10] Nat
    Why do you look happier after every hit?
[19:13] Sak
    D-Damn!
[19:16] Sak
    It's really not affecting her!
[19:17] Sak
    Well,
[19:18] Sak
    that last hit would've done some
    damage, so I'm glad it didn't!
[19:21] Sak
    But why?!
SIGN    Why?!
[19:23] Bot
    If you hit a diamond with a feather,
[19:26] Bot
    do you think it would hurt it?
[19:28] Nat
    Didn't you say you were glass?
[19:31] Sak
    I hate my weakness...
[19:34] Sak
    I want...
[19:36] Sak
    I want power!
[19:38] Nat
    Stop reusing footage to fill up airtime.
[19:41] Sak
    Oh!
[19:42] Sak
    Wait.
[19:44] Sak
    She said that Hagitsuki-ryuu was
    closely tied to your mental strength.
[19:49] Sak
    Which means...
[19:53] Sak
    Karin-chan, come here a minute!
[19:55] Kar
    Yes?
[19:58] Kar
    What?
[19:59] Kar
    But that would...
[20:01] Sak
    It's fine. Just do it like I told you.
[20:03] Bot
    Hey, now.
[20:04] Bot
    Karin may have a high Feminine Appeal level,
[20:06] Bot
    but it won't make her hit harder.
[20:10] Sak
    We'll see about that.
[20:12] Nat
    Doumyouji Sakura...
[20:15] Nat
    She's hit on a truly terrifying idea.
[20:18] Nat
    At this rate, Botan-senpai
    won't stand a chance!
[20:21] Kar
    I don't really understand,
    but I'll give it a try.
[20:24] Sak
    Go for it!
[20:25] Sak
    Give it your best shot!
[20:29] Bot
    Whenever you're ready.
[20:32] Kar
    Botan-senpai...
[20:34] Kar
    I hate you!
[20:38] Kar
    Botan-senpai, I hate you!
[20:41] Kar
    I hate you!
[20:42] Kar
    I hate you!
[20:48] Cla
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[20:54] Cla
    What's going on, everyone?
SIGN    Touno Karin-san's Pictures
SIGN    I really love you, Botan-senpai!!
SIGN    Like!?
SIGN    Ball Game Tournament Boys: Basket, Dodge Girls: Volley, Soft Confirm Your Match Times
SIGN    Preview
[22:46] Bot
    This is Botan.
[22:47] Bot
    The sand tiger shark has to eat
[22:49] Bot
    its siblings in the mother's
    womb in order to be born.
[22:52] Bot
    The battle starts before it's even born!
[22:55] Bot
    Next time, Record 12: Fierce Battle!
    The First Term Ball Game Tournament.
[22:58] Bot
    And two more!