E1 - Go-Home Club Applicants \ Life is Short; Go Home, Young Lady \ Beware of Hagizuki-ryuu Practitioners \ Extravagant Youth: Priceless

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Nar
    Hooded seals live in the Arctic.
[00:14] Nar
    Did you all know
[00:16] Nar
    that the hooded seal's lactation
    period is about four days?
[00:19] Nar
    They say that's the
    shortest of any mammal.
[00:22] Nar
    But setting that aside...
[00:27] Natsu
    Japan is currently in the height of spring.
[00:29] Natsu
    As a rain of pollen tickles my nasal membranes,
[00:32] Natsu
    I, Andou Natsuki, have officially
    become a high school student.
SIGN    Wrestling Club
[00:37] Natsu
    Today is club recruiting day.
SIGN    Let's ride horses!
[00:40] Natsu
    High school is amazing!
    There are so many different clubs!
[00:55] Sakura
    H... H... Help me up...
[00:58] Natsu
    I guess spring also brings along
    some things I don't understand.
[01:03] Aza
    Stray seal!
[01:08] Natsu
    What was that all about?
[01:10] Furu
    Hey, Nattsun!
[01:14] Natsu
    Um... Who are you?
[01:17] Furu
    I'm Furuhashi! Furuhashi!
[01:18] ---
    We went to middle school together!
[01:20] Aza
    This happens a lot!
[01:22] Furu
    Nattsun, your jokes are really too much.
[01:24] Natsu
    I thought I told you to stop calling me
    that once we were in high school.
[01:27] Furu
    Well? Have you picked
    your club yet, Nattsun?
[01:30] Natsu
    Are you sticking with the Tennis Club?
[01:34] Furu
    Hmm... But doing the same
    thing as in middle school
[01:37] ---
    wouldn't be very exciting.
[01:40] Furu
    Maybe I should be bold and
    try the Hundred Poems Club!
[01:43] Natsu
    Huh?
[01:44] Furu
    Look! It's even the same arm motion.
[01:44] Aza
    As friends and strangers come and go...
[01:47] Natsu
    I don't know if it's wise to
    join a club based on that.
[01:47] Aza
    Fault.
[01:50] Natsu
    I don't like dealing with the
    hierarchies in clubs, anyway.
[01:54] Natsu
    Maybe I should join the Going Home Club.
[01:56] Karin
    Really? Andou-san, you're joining
    the Going Home Club, too?
[02:00] Natsu
    Um... you're Touno-san, right?
[02:03] Karin
    Yeah! I'm Touno Karin.
    It's nice to meet you!
[02:06] Karin
    But I'm so glad.
[02:08] ---
    I thought I would be the only one
    joining the Going Home Club.
[02:11] Natsu
    No, I really doubt that...
[02:15] Natsu
    Furuhashi, you could join
    the Going Home Club—
[02:16] Karin
    What?! No, I've got my Hundred Poems Club!
[02:20] Natsu
    Wasn't that just some idea you had?
[02:22] Furu
    Oh, right. I should go there
    and observe, or something.
[02:25] ---
    That's right, that's right...
[02:27] Karin
    Observe?
[02:29] Natsu
    Well, why don't we do the same?
[02:32] Natsu
    Observe the Going Home Club! Yeah, right.
[02:34] Karin
    Sure, let's go!
[02:37] Natsu
    Huh? What?
[02:40] Natsu
    No, the Going Home Club isn't...
[02:44] Natsu
    a...
[02:45] Natsu
    real...
[02:46] Natsu
    club...
SIGN    Fire Prevention Supervisor: Now Recruiting
SIGN    Going Home Club
[02:51] Natsu
    It is real!
[04:24] Natsu
    Wait a minute.
[04:25] Natsu
    Why does the Going Home Club
    have its own club room?!
[04:27] Natsu
    That's taking "anything goes" too far!
[04:29] Karin
    It's amazing, isn't it?
[04:33] Sakura
    Come in!
[04:34] Natsu
    Have a little doubt here...
SIGN    Record 1
SIGN    Going Home Club Applicants
[04:41] Karin
    Excuse us!
[04:43] Sakura
    Your membership is approved!
[04:45] Natsu
    That was fast!
[04:46] Botan
    But you're applying for membership, right?
[04:48] Karin
    Yes!
[04:49] Natsu
    I'm not really...
[04:51] Claire
    I'm so happy. What might your names be?
[04:55] Karin
    I'm Touno Karin!
[04:57] Natsu
    I'm Andou Natsuki.
[04:59] Sakura
    Karin-chan and Natsuki-chan, then!
[05:02] Sakura
    Right! Let me introduce the crazy
    members of the Going Home Club!
[05:06] Natsu
    What?! The members are crazy?!
SIGN    Sixteenth heir to the ancient
    Hagitsuki-ryuu martial arts style
[05:09] Sakura
    Sixteenth heir to the ancient
    Hagitsuki-ryuu martial arts style,
[05:13] ---
    Oohagi Botan-chan.
[05:15] Botan
    Let's fight bears together!
[05:17] Natsu
    What?! She's exceptional!
SIGN    Daughter of the head of the Kokonoe Corporation
[05:19] Sakura
    Daughter of the head of
    the Kokonoe Corporation,
[05:23] ---
    Kokonoe Claire-chan!
[05:26] Claire
    If we get any more members,
    we'll have to hire a maid.
[05:29] Natsu
    What?! She's exceptional, too!
[05:31] Sakura
    And I am the Going Home Club's president,
[05:33] ---
    proud bearer of type A blood,
    born under the sign of Taurus...
[05:39] Sakura
    Doumyouji Sakura!
SIGN    Name: Doumyouji Sakura
    Blood Type: A
    Sign: Taurus
    Height: 163cm
    Weight: Secret
[05:41] Sakura
    Heir to my grandmother's
    sewing scissors!
SIGN    Normal Person
[05:46] Natsu
    That means you're just
    an ordinary person!
[05:50] Natsu
    L-Look.
[05:51] Natsu
    I appreciate the introductions,
[05:54] ---
    but I'm not actually interested
    in joining your club...
[05:59] Natsu
    So can I go home now?
[06:01] Sakura
    You...
[06:04] Sakura
    You're incredible!
[06:06] Sakura
    You want to go home right away...
[06:09] Sakura
    You have incredible
    Going Home Spirit within you!
[06:13] ---
    Huh?
[06:14] Claire
    That's right!
[06:15] ---
    We must order dresses for
    the two of you right away!
[06:18] ---
    Huh? W-Wait!
[06:20] Botan
    We've got some real
    Uber Loogies among us now.
[06:22] Natsu
    If you're talking about
    an impressive newcomer,
[06:24] ---
    the term is "Super Rookie"!
[06:27] Sakura
    We've got two spirited
    first-years joining us!
[06:30] ---
    This should be a lot of fun!
[06:33] Sa/Bo/Cl
    Welcome to the Going Home Club!
[06:41] Natsu
    It's too soon for the ending theme!
SIGN    Record 2
SIGN    Life is Short; Go Home, Young Lady
[06:49] Furu
    So you ended up joining the
    Going Home Club yesterday!
[06:52] Natsu
    This is no laughing matter.
[06:54] Furu
    But it's so funny, Nattsu—
[06:56] Furu
    Uh, I mean, um, Natsukichi?
[06:58] Natsu
    You don't have to invent a new
    nickname for me, Furukawa.
[07:03] Furu
    It's Furuhashi.
[07:05] Natsu
    Anyway, they told me to start
    coming officially, today.
[07:09] Natsu
    What am I gonna do?
[07:12] Furu
    Well, it looks like
    not going isn't an option.
[07:24] Karin
    Hey, Andou-san.
[07:26] Natsu
    You can call me Natsuki.
    And I'll call you Karin.
[07:29] Karin
    Really? Then can I call you Nat-chan?
[07:32] Natsu
    Sure, fine with me.
[07:36] Natsu
    So, what is it?
[07:37] Karin
    Nat-chan.
[07:41] Karin
    Nat-chan...
[07:45] Karin
    Nat-chan...
SIGN    Blush
[07:48] Natsu
    Um...
[07:50] Karin
    Oh, that's right.
[07:52] ---
    Nat-chan, what do you think they
    do in the Going Home Club?
[07:56] Natsu
    You don't know?!
[07:58] Natsu
    That's what I wanted to ask!
[08:00] ---
    And what made you want to join
[08:02] ---
    if you don't even know what they do?
[08:04] Karin
    What? Well, it was during
    club recruiting day...
SIGN    Stand Up!
    Going Home Club
    Now Recruiting!
[08:10] (Flashback) Aza
    Stand! Stand up!
[08:18] Karin
    This is it!
[08:19] Natsu
    What is it?!
[08:20] Natsu
    What about that made you
    want to join their club?!
[08:23] Natsu
    And they were recruiting people with that?!
[08:26] Natsu
    I want to go home already.
[08:28] Karin
    That's a Super Rookie for you!
[08:30] Natsu
    Shut up already.
[08:32] Karin
    It's okay, Nat-chan.
[08:34] ---
    If you ask our senpai in Japanese,
[08:36] ---
    I'm sure they'll tell you what
    the Going Home Club does.
[08:39] Natsu
    Well, yes, that's probably true...
[08:43] Natsu
    But it didn't occur to me that I had
    a language choice besides Japanese.
SIGN    Also known as brush seal
[08:48] Aza
    Mohawk Seal!
SIGN    Fire Prevention Supervisor: Seal
    
    Going Home Club
[08:52] Natsu
    Excuse me.
[08:53] Sakura
    The first-years are here!
[08:55] Claire
    Welcome!
[08:56] Botan
    I've got controllers ready for you.
[08:58] Sakura
    Oh, that's right. Chairs, chairs!
[09:01] Natsu
    Um, Doumyouji-senpai...
[09:03] Sakura
    Take no great pains.
    Prithee call me Sakura.
[09:06] Natsu
    Okay, Sakura-senpai—
[09:08] Sakura
    Aye, come nearer.
[09:11] Natsu
    Sakura-senpai, why are you
    using such old-timey language?
[09:14] Botan
    Probably because sixth period
    was classic literature.
[09:17] Natsu
    She's so easily influenced!
[09:18] Karin
    Nat-chan. You wanted to ask
    something else, remember?
[09:21] ---
    Oh, yeah.
[09:23] Natsu
    Sakura-senpai.
[09:25] Natsu
    What exactly does the Going Home Club do?
[09:36] Sakura
    We have fun!
[09:39] Natsu
    I told you, it's too soon!
[09:41] ---
    How desperate are you to end the show?!
[09:44] Sakura
    If you do nothing, your youth
    will pass by in an instant.
SIGN    °Based on the creator's personal experience.
[09:48] Sakura
    That is why we formed the Going Home Club,
[09:50] ---
    to enjoy ourselves as much as possible
[09:52] ---
    after school and on the way home.
[09:55] Claire
    Is that what it was?
[09:57] Natsu
    Not even your own members knew?!
[10:00] Sakura
    We want to do things that are fun,
    but that one shouldn't do.
[10:03] Natsu
    Do things it's okay to do!
[10:06] Sakura
    But today, we're going to do
    something it's okay to do.
[10:09] Sakura
    Botan-chan! Claire-chan!
[10:11] Natsu
    What are you going to do?
[10:14] Claire
    We're going to the park
    to feed the pigeons.
[10:17] Sakura
    Feeding the pigeons!
[10:19] Botan
    Project Code...
[10:20] ---
    MANNA!
[10:21] Natsu
    It doesn't need a title that cool!
[10:30] Natsu
    Feeding the pigeons?
    What are they, little kids?
[10:34] Botan
    There!
[10:49] Sakura
    It's so fun!
[10:54] Sakura
    Yeah! He took it!
[10:56] Sakura
    Come on, little guy! It's tasty!
[11:04] Natsu
    I guess... it might be kind of fun.
SIGN    Chronicles of the Going Home Club
SIGN    Going Home Club Photo Gallery
SIGN    We took this photo of the Going Home Club in action. Who provides whose voice?
SIGN    Chronicles of the Going Home Club
[11:43] Natsu
    Just open it normally!
SIGN    Record 3
SIGN    Beware of Hagitsuki-ryuu Practitioners
[11:50] Sakura
    So, that was Botan-chan's demonstration
    of Hagitsuki-ryuu martial arts!
[11:59] Natsu
    I'm impressed that you can cut it
[12:01] ---
    so cleanly with just your bare hand.
[12:03] Botan
    To be precise, I'm not
    cutting it with my hand.
[12:07] Botan
    By moving my hand very quickly,
[12:08] ---
    I create a momentary vacuum in the air.
[12:11] ---
    That's what cuts it.
[12:14] Botan
    It's the same principle as the kamaitachi.
[12:16] Natsu
    There it is! A manga explanation!
[12:18] Botan
    It's a closely guarded family
    secret, so don't tell anyone.
[12:21] Natsu
    What?! You're taking a closely
    guarded secret pretty lightly!
[12:26] Karin
    But Botan-senpai really
    is strong, isn't she?
[12:29] Claire
    Yes. She's had many heroic
    exploits, as well.
[12:32] Sakura
    Especially her "Bear Tour" last summer.
[12:35] Sakura
    That was really scary!
[12:39] Natsu
    What kind of ominous-sounding tour is that?
[12:42] Sakura
    Botan-chan kept us up to date
    with very detailed emails...
SIGN    July 28th
[12:46] Botan
    July 28th.
[12:49] Botan
    I'm fighting a brown bear in Hokkaido.
[12:51] Natsu
    I knew it!
[12:52] ---
    Why would you do something like that?!
[12:55] Botan
    I heard that the brown
    bear was the strongest
[12:57] ---
    wild animal in Japan.
[12:58] ---
    So I didn't have a choice.
[13:00] Natsu
    Yes, you did!
[13:01] ---
    And your reason doesn't have a shred
    of high school girlishness in it!
[13:08] Botan
    The match was decided swiftly.
[13:10] (Flashback) Botan
    Was that all?
[13:11] Botan
    I was left with only disappointment.
[13:13] Natsu
    You beat it?!
[13:15] (Flashback) Botan
    I beat the brown bear!
[13:16] (Flashback) ---
    But I'm bummed by how weak it was.
[13:19] (Flashback) ---
    Its punches looked like
    they weren't even moving.
[13:20] (Flashback) ---
    Teehee.
[13:21] Natsu
    It's a little late to bring out the
[13:23] ---
    high school girl mannerisms in your emails!
[13:26] (Flashback) Botan
    And, send!
[13:27] (Flashback) Bear
    Don't get cocky...
    just because you beat me...
[13:31] (Flashback) Bear
    In Alaska, there dwells a bear
    far more powerful than I...
[13:36] Botan
    I felt as if the downed
    bear was speaking to me.
[13:39] Natsu
    No! It absolutely was
    not speaking to you!
[13:47] (Flashback) Grizzly
    So, the brown bear was defeated.
[13:50] (Flashback) Polar
    But he was the weakest of
    us Four Bear Kings, so—
[13:53] Natsu
    That didn't happen! I know it didn't!
[13:57] Claire
    July 30th, Alaska.
[13:59] Natsu
    You flew to America?!
[14:03] Botan
    I found a grizzly in the forest.
[14:07] Botan
    Truly, he was a full size
    larger than the brown bear.
[14:13] [Messenger] Sign
    From: Oohagi Botan
    Subject: America Now
[14:14] Botan
    "I'm in America right now!
[14:16] ---
    I'm shocked by how big
    American hamburgers are!
[14:19] ---
    I'm so stuffed!"
[14:22] Natsu
    All you did was enjoy your first trip to America!
[14:25] Claire
    "And then I beat the bear."
[14:26] Natsu
    The bear doesn't even
    matter anymore, does it?!
[14:30] Botan
    After defeating the grizzly, I realized...
[14:33] ---
    Now that I'd come this far,
    I had to take on a polar bear.
[14:36] Natsu
    Why?!
[14:39] Botan
    Bears get bigger and stronger
    the further north you go.
[14:43] Botan
    And I'd started feeling like I
    was playing a fighting game.
[14:46] Natsu
    She's got game brain...
SIGN    BOOM
[14:50] Botan
    July 31st.
[14:52] ---
    I beat the polar bear, as well.
[14:54] Natsu
    You did it?!
[14:56] Sakura
    She beat the strongest bear
[14:58] ---
    and we all assumed it was over.
[15:00] ---
    But there was still more to come.
[15:03] ---
    About a month later...
[15:06] Botan
    I read my cell phone bill and fell to pieces.
[15:10] Natsu
    It's because you used your
    cell phone so much overseas!
[15:13] Botan
    It seems it wasn't bears I
    should have been fighting.
[15:16] ---
    It was the system!
[15:19] Botan
    The system known as rate structure!
SIGN    Rate structure
[15:21] Natsu
    Just fix your rate plan and your lifestyle!
[15:25] Claire
    There were lots of others
    besides the bears.
[15:28] Claire
    She beat a great white shark
    in the ocean near Japan,
[15:31] ---
    beat an elephant in Africa,
[15:34] ---
    played with a squirrel at
    Tsurugaoka Hachiman Shrine,
[15:37] ---
    beat a cobra in India...
[15:39] Natsu
    I think a Kamakura vacation memory got
[15:41] ---
    mixed up in there somewhere.
[15:44] Sakura
    She also beat the Demon
    King with just the
SIGN    You beat the Demon King!
[15:47] ---
    Hero and no orbs of light!
[15:49] Sakura
    And she beat the hardest final boss
    without taking any damage.
[15:52] Sakura
    There's just no end to
    her heroic exploits.
[15:54] Natsu
    Those last two were just
    challenge run stories!
[15:57] ---
    That's how you end up with game brain!
[15:59] Sakura
    The point that I want to instill
[16:01] ---
    in you first-years as
    club president is that
[16:04] ---
    Botan can only do these things because
    she received special training.
[16:08] ---
    Ordinary people shouldn't try to mimic her!
[16:11] Karin
    Okay.
[16:12] Natsu
    I've never heard a more
    unnecessary warning in my life.
[16:15] Botan
    That's right!
[16:16] ---
    Now that we have new club members,
[16:18] ---
    why don't you come fight
    bears with me for real?
[16:23] Sakura
    We're going to that new crepe stand today.
[16:27] Ara
    Let it go.
[16:32] Sakura
    Umm... I was sure it was in this area...
[16:36] Natsu
    Oh, is that it there?
[16:44] Botan
    A bear!
[16:45] Sakura
    Stop it.
[16:51] Sakura
    Sorry for the wait!
[16:54] Karin
    Sakura-senpai, your crepe is so big!
[16:57] Botan
    Can you really finish all that?
[17:00] Sakura
    Eh? Where's Natsuki-chan?
[17:02] Claire
    I believe she went to the powder room.
[17:28] Botan
    What's wrong? That was a strange noise.
[17:31] Karin
    The truth is...
SIGN    School Store
[17:33] ---
    at lunch, I went to the school store with Nat-chan...
[17:38] Karin
    But they were sold out of erasers.
[17:41] Sakura
    The school store can sell out of erasers?
[17:44] Karin
    Yes...
[17:45] Natsu
    Well, they actually did have some.
[17:47] Natsu
    A whole display of them.
SIGN    Nothing Comes Together As It Should
[17:48] Sakura
    Huh?
[17:49] Natsu
    But Karin didn't want one
    unless it was in a pink case.
[17:55] Karin
    I couldn't erase at all during
    my afternoon classes.
[17:58] Natsu
    Just compromise and buy one!
[18:00] Claire
    That's tough.
[18:03] ---
    Let's go buy you a stationery store later.
[18:09] Natsu
    Buy a store?!
SIGN    Record 4
SIGN    Extravagant Youth: Priceless
[18:16] Sakura
    Well, it can't be helped.
[18:17] ---
    Claire-chan is the daughter of the
    Kokonoe Corporation, after all.
[18:20] ---
    Her money sense is a little
    different from a normal person's.
[18:24] Natsu
    That's more than "a little" different!
[18:26] Natsu
    Buying a store at the drop of a hat
[18:27] ---
    is like "real-life sugoroku with actual
    trains" level of money sense!
[18:30] Aza
    I just bought the whole store!
[18:32] Sakura
    Claire-chan doesn't feel any sense of loss
[18:35] ---
    when she spends money.
[18:37] Natsu
    What are you talking about?
[18:39] Sakura
    You know how when we turn on the faucet,
[18:43] ---
    as much water comes out as we want?
[18:45] Natsu
    Yeah...
[18:46] Sakura
    That's how money is for her.
[18:49] Natsu
    So she literally goes
    through money like water?
[18:52] Sakura
    Her speech and behavior have
    always been extravagant.
[18:56] Sakura
    She can summon a helicopter
    with the slightest gesture.
[18:59] Sakura
    Or reserve an entire family restaurant.
[19:06] Claire
    My. Is that so?
[19:11] Natsu
    Why did you get so many
    frames just now?!
[19:14] Claire
    What? I wasn't even thinking about it.
[19:16] Natsu
    Try to avoid excessive movement!
[19:18] ---
    This show is limited to *** frames!
[19:22] Sakura
    This is what you call a true rich girl.
[19:24] Natsu
    President, you saw right through it!
[19:27] Natsu
    What? Everything's gone white...
[19:29] Botan
    I guess the effects are showing.
[19:30] Aza
    The seal is white, too.
[19:32] Sakura
    These are the storyboards!
[19:34] Aza
    This is the linework!
[19:38] Botan
    But Claire's really living
    life on easy mode, huh?
[19:42] Botan
    You've always been able to get
    whatever you wanted, right?
[19:47] Claire
    Actually, it's more that by the
    time I realize I want something,
[19:50] ---
    I already have it.
[19:52] Natsu
    She's on full auto mode!
    This is just like a crap game!
[19:57] Sakura
    Hey, Natsuki-chan!
[19:59] ---
    Be careful about making statements
    that could be construed
[20:01] ---
    as calling movie-heavy games crap!
[20:02] Natsuki
    I didn't say anything like that!
[20:04] ---
    Why are you being so oversensitive?!
[20:07] Aza
    Missile seal!
[20:09] Sakura
    Setting that aside,
    you may be wondering why
[20:12] ---
    such a rich girl would attend
    a school for normal people.
[20:15] Sakura
    It's because Claire-chan
    has always longed for
[20:18] ---
    a normal high school life.
[20:20] Natsu
    I don't know if that's possible
    in a club like this.
[20:23] Claire
    It was my dream to walk
    home from school and attend
[20:26] ---
    balls with my friends like a normal person.
[20:28] Natsu
    In what dimension is that normal?
[20:30] Claire
    What? Was I wrong?
[20:32] Sakura
    Well, that's the shape of it.
[20:34] ---
    Natsuki-chan, Karin-chan.
[20:36] Sakura
    You're both senpai when it
    comes to being commoners,
[20:39] ---
    so show her the ropes.
[20:40] Karin
    Okay! Just leave it to me!
[20:43] Karin
    Claire-senpai, did you know about this?
[20:45] ---
    The most delicious part of the ice cream
[20:47] ---
    is not the ice cream itself,
[20:49] ---
    but the part that gets stuck to the lid!
[20:51] Claire
    Oh, really?
[20:53] Natsu
    That's not a "commoner"
    thought, it's a child's thought!
[20:57] Claire
    Ice cream...
[21:00] ---
    comes with lids?
[21:03] Sakura
    Okay! Today...
[21:05] Sakura
    We will buy ice cream from
    the convenience store!
SIGN    Convenience Store
SIGN    Ice cream in a cup really is the best.
[22:41] ---
    This is the way to go.
[22:43] Natsu
    Buy ice cream in a cup!
SIGN    Preview
[22:47] ---
    Natsuki here!
[22:48] ---
    I heard giant anteaters give birth standing up.
[22:51] ---
    Spawning standing up?!
[22:53] ---
    Next time, Record 5: The Cuckoo
    Isn't Singing. It Appears to Be Dead.
[22:58] ---
    And more!