E5 - The Demon King's Dignity \ Recommended Literature \ Vaguely Remembered Folk Tales
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SIGN Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?
SIGN The father it is, with his infant so dear.
SIGN He holdeth the boy tightly clasped in his arm,
SIGN He holdeth him safely, he keepeth him warm.
[00:52] Nat
So... what are you singing, exactly?
[00:55] Sak
It's Schubert's "Demon King!"
[00:57] Nat
And why that song?
[00:59] Sak
This song was written in the 19th century.
[01:02] Sak
The composer died more
than fifty years ago.
[01:06] Sak
Which means...
[01:08] Sak
We can use it in our show
[01:10] Sak
without paying any royalties
to the composer's estate!
SIGN Record 15
SIGN The Demon King's Dignity
SIGN "Demon King"
SIGN Composed by Schubert
SIGN Created by adding music to a poem by Goethe.
[02:52] Cla
"Demon King," huh?
[02:54] Cla
I play Schubert's songs on my
Steinway now and then, but...
[02:58] Cla
When I was in middle school,
[03:00] Cla
I really admired people
who could play that piece.
[03:03] Kar
I know what you mean.
[03:05] Kar
My teacher in middle school
said it was amazing, too.
[03:08] Kar
I think...
[03:09] Kar
it goes: "My father, my father,
the Demon King is coming," right?
[03:16] Nat
Sakura-senpai, you told us before
that you were in the Chorus Club,
[03:20] Nat
but I never knew you could sing in German, too.
[03:23] Kar
Did you also sing "Die Moldau" in German?
[03:26] Kar
That's amazing, Sakura-senpai!
[03:28] Kar
You're bilingual!
[03:30] Sak
Aw...
[03:32] Bot
I learned "Demon King"
in middle school, as well,
[03:34] Bot
but the Demon King in the song is
kind of a weak bad guy, isn't he?
[03:38] ---
Huh?
[03:39] Bot
All he did was seduce a kid and kill him.
[03:43] Bot
He's like an urban legend, at most.
[03:45] Nat
It does seem a bit small-scale
for the work of a Demon King.
[03:50] Bot
He also doesn't meet any of the criteria
for desirable qualities in a Demon King.
[03:55] Nat
Desirable qualities in a Demon King?
[03:59] Bot
Here's what you look for in a Demon King!
SIGN Overwhelmingly Powerful Magic
[04:03] Bot
First, overwhelmingly powerful magic.
SIGN Charisma to Command Underlings
[04:06] Bot
Next, the charisma to command underlings.
SIGN Grand Ambition
[04:09] Bot
And finally, grand ambition!
[04:11] Sak
If those are the criteria, he'd instantly
fail an interview for the Demon King job.
[04:16] Nat
Failure as a Demon King?!
[04:17] Kar
After all, kidnapping a child seems
like a job for an underling, doesn't it?
[04:22] Cla
Then, maybe the song actually
went something like this:
SIGN Dear infant, oh, come thou with me!
SIGN Many fun games I will play with thee!
SIGN My father, my father!
SIGN The Demon King's a creep!
SIGN A creep?
SIGN Hey!
SIGN If you won't come quietly, I'll just take you by force!
SIGN Rain down on him:
SIGN Dark Meteor!
SIGN But he didn't have enough MP!!
SIGN Nothing...
SIGN My boy, 'tis only the wail of the wind.
[05:05] All
He's just a grunt...
[05:08] Kar
Against a Demon King like that,
[05:09] Kar
I could have my casters use
normal melee attacks on him.
SIGN I'm not gonna waste my MP on you!
SIGN Oof!
[05:17] Nat
But he's a Demon King...
[05:18] Cla
He's so low-level, he wouldn't be able
to appear if you used Holy Water.
SIGN Oh, no! Some holy power is protecting him!
[05:24] Nat
But he's a Demon King!
[05:25] Sak
I bet insta-kill spells would even work on him.
SIGN Death!
[05:29] Nat
But he's a Demon King!
[05:30] Bot
I bet he's some low-level monster who
just calls himself the Demon King.
[05:34] Nat
That sounds about right.
[05:36] Cla
Perhaps I should report him to the Fair
Trade Commission for false advertising.
[05:41] Sak
No, the more pertinent matter is:
[05:43] Sak
How can we get him to act like
a true Demon King should?
SIGN Let's do it!! Reinvent the Demon King!
[05:46] ---
Let's brainstorm that instead!
[05:50] Kar
The first criterion was
"overwhelmingly powerful magic," right?
[05:53] Sak
Oh, I see.
[05:55] Bot
A Demon King would need a reason
to abduct children in person.
[05:59] Sak
Yes! That is important!
[06:06] Cla
With these changes in mind,
[06:08] Cla
perhaps it'd go a bit more like this?
SIGN Demon King
SIGN Lyrics: Going Home Club Music: Schubert
SIGN Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?
SIGN The father it is, with his infant so dear.
SIGN Father, I'm scared!
SIGN I can't believe the demons have discovered that my boy
SIGN was born with the mark of a hero on his right hand!
SIGN Father! The Demon King!
SIGN What?!
SIGN Greetings, future hero.
SIGN You are the dark Demon King, Veribadd!
SIGN Out of respect to the hero's mark you bear,
SIGN I have come to slay you with my own hand.
SIGN Now, die in the depths of despair!
SIGN Dark Meteor!
SIGN The boy was killed. His father saw nothing but darkness before his eyes!
[07:11] Nat
Huh? Game over?!
[07:14] Nat
Well, he's definitely more
like a Demon King now,
[07:16] Nat
but doesn't that make the game impossible?!
[07:17] Sak
Well, the story had a bad ending to begin with.
[07:21] Sak
This is just the inevitable result
of making the Demon King stronger.
[07:24] Sak
Besides, it gives the song a moving finale!
SIGN Oh, my boy... How wretched that you had to die!!
[07:34] Nat
He comes back to life?!
SIGN Chronicles of the Going Home Club
SIGN Going Home Club Photo Gallery
SIGN That strawberry mousse looks delicious. I'm so hungry! -Karin
[07:41] Cm
Even Kintaro-san would be satisfied!
[07:43] Cm
This is much more reliable than
investing in foreign exchange!
[07:46] Cm
Gold is a safe investment.
[07:49] Cm
If you want to buy gold,
come to Yaezakura Gold!
SIGN Safe and Reliable Investment Management
SIGN Yaezakura GOLD
[07:52] Cm
Yaezakura Gold!
SIGN Chronicles of the Going Home Club
[08:04] Sak
Well, now that the commercial's over,
[08:06] Sak
let's get hyped up for our "Reinvent the
Demon King: Before and After" in the B part!
SIGN Then she heard the toka-ton-ton.
[08:17] Bot
My life's goal is to cultivate my willpower
[08:21] Bot
and become a strong person.
[08:25] Sak
You say such wonderful things, Botan-chan.
[08:29] Sak
Are you K now?
[08:30] Nat
What kind of retort was that?
[08:32] Nat
But what about reinventing the Demon King?
SIGN Toka-ton-ton
SIGN Toka-ton-ton
[08:37] Sak
Well, once I heard that sound,
I lost the will to do it.
[08:41] Nat
"That sound"?
SIGN "Toka-ton-ton" A mysterious sound that comes from nowhere and makes you
lose the motivation for what you're doing. Source: Dazai Osamu, Tokatonton
[08:43] Aza
"Toka-ton-ton":
[08:44] Aza
A mysterious sound that
comes from nowhere and
[08:48] Aza
makes you lose the motivation
for what you're doing.
[08:50] Aza
It comes from Dazai Osamu's
short story, "Tokatonton."
[08:53] Aza
By the way, it's often used
as an excuse by lazy writers.
SIGN Record 16
SIGN Recommended Literature
SIGN fad(500,1)\i1}Kokoro*
SIGN A novel written by
SIGN Natsume Soseki.
[09:08] Cla
We second years are currently reading
Natsume Soseki's Kokoro in Modern Lit.
[09:14] Cla
K is one of the characters.
[09:17] Cla
Have you two read it?
[09:19] Nat
In middle school, I read it for a book report.
[09:23] Nat
How about you, Karin?
[09:25] Kar
Kokoro?
[09:28] Nat
You've never read it, have you?
SIGN Kokoro by Natsume Soseki
[09:30] Bot
Kokoro is really popular
in our class right now.
[09:34] Sak
Since last week, more and more people
[09:37] Sak
seem to be going out to buy the novel.
[09:39] Sak
It's become quite a movement.
[09:42] Nat
But it's in the textbook.
[09:44] Nat
People are still buying the novel?
[09:46] Sak
What's in the textbook is only
an extract from the full novel.
[09:49] Sak
A lot of students want
to read the whole thing.
[09:52] Sak
So now...
SIGN Boom
SIGN fad(200,1)\i1}Kokoro* Goes Here
[09:54] Sak
Our classroom has its own Kokoro collection!
[09:57] Kar
Wow!
[09:58] Kar
That's amazing!
[10:00] Kar
Claire-senpai, has this movement
reached your class?
[10:05] Cla
It's not to that extent in my class.
[10:08] Cla
But my textbook is custom-made,
so it contains the full text.
SIGN Modern Literature
SIGN Claire's Personal Textbook
[10:12] Nat
That's a pointless customization!
[10:14] Sak
Since the opportunity presented itself, I tried
[10:17] Sak
reading it from the start, too, but...
[10:19] Nat
How was it?
[10:20] Sak
The full version felt weird.
[10:21] Nat
Are you critiquing a J-Pop song?!
[10:23] Sak
But that Sensei character is such a NEET...
[10:27] Sak
The hook was the only good part of it.
[10:29] Nat
Where?!
[10:30] Nat
Where's the hook in a novel?!
[10:32] Sak
Anyway, lately, the people
in my class have been quoting
[10:35] Sak
lines from Kokoro for all situations.
[10:38] Sak
Right, Botan-chan?
[10:39] Bot
Yeah.
[10:40] Bot
This is the most popular one.
[10:42] Bot
Spiritually, you must...
[10:44] Bot
keep seeking to improve yourself or you're a...
[10:47] Bot
buffoon!
[10:49] Sak
There it is! SKB!
SIGN S: Spiritually you must
K: Keep seeking to improve yourself or you're a
B: Buffoon
[10:51] Nat
You abbreviate it?!
[10:52] Nat
When would you ever use that?!
[10:53] Kar
Um, what does that phrase even mean?
[10:57] Cla
One of the characters in the novel
unleashes it on his best friend, K,
[11:00] Cla
as a killing blow to his heart.
[11:03] Kar
Oh, I see.
[11:05] Nat
Well, that's not exactly wrong, but...
[11:08] Aza
There was a dead seal at Kinosaki.
[11:13] Sak
But there are a lot of good stories
in our literature textbooks.
[11:17] Sak
When I was in middle school,
[11:19] Sak
I really liked reading Memories of Youth.
[11:22] Cla
That's a short story by Herman Hesse, right?
SIGN Herman Hesse
"Memories of Youth"
SIGN "So that's the kind of guy you are."
[11:24] Aza A
So that's the kind of guy you are.
SIGN "Uh..."
[11:27] Aza B
Uh...
[11:28] Sak
I was like, why are these people getting
so heated over something like bugs?
[11:33] Nat
Huh? She hasn't read it at all!
[11:36] Bot
Yeah, you're right.
[11:37] Bot
The emperor moth and Ryuji the
praying mantis are like cockroaches.
[11:41] Bot
They're all just bugs.
[11:42] Nat
You people get right to the heart of things...
[11:45] Kar
Oh yeah... Wasn't there a story
about going out to buy apples?
[11:49] Cla
Apples?
[11:50] Cla
What kind of story was it?
[11:52] Bot
I think I know.
[11:53] Bot
A little fox goes out on
a snowy day to buy apples.
[11:55] Nat
The little fox went out to buy mittens.
[11:58] Sak
What happened in it?
[12:00] Kar
Let me see...
[12:01] Kar
I think Takashi-kun takes 1,000
yen with him to go shopping,
[12:05] Kar
and the apples are 80 yen apiece...
[12:12] Kar
Never mind. That was math.
[12:13] Nat
How did you get those mixed up?!
SIGN Cute
[12:15] Nat
Do you use that for everything?!
[12:18] Aza
The seal laughed and laughed!
[12:22] Cla
I always loved "Run, Melos!"
[12:24] Nat
That's by Dazai Osamu, right?
[12:26] Cla
Melos and Campanella's friendship...
[12:28] Cla
was truly wonderful!
[12:30] Nat
You're mixing up two different stories!
[12:32] Cla
That isn't right?
[12:33] Nat
Melos using the Galactic
Railroad would be cheating!
[12:36] Aza
Giovanni, your father will
return with a sealskin coat!
[12:39] Nat
It's otter skin!
[12:41] Sak
That's not it.
[12:42] Sak
"Run, Melos!" goes like this:
[12:45] Sak
Melos gets enraged!
[12:47] Sak
He decides that he must
eliminate the evil tyrant king!
[12:54] Sak
But just then, he hears the "toka-ton-ton."
SIGN Ah, forget this.
[13:00] Nat
Melos fails!
[13:04] Bot
There's also "The Moon Over the Mountain."
[13:06] Kar
"The Moon Over the Mountain"?
[13:07] Cla
It's about a minor official who fails to become
[13:10] Cla
a poet, so he becomes a tiger instead.
[13:12] Nat
Well, that's not entirely wrong, but...
[13:14] Kar
Becomes... a tiger?
[13:19] Sak
Botan! A tiger!
[13:20] Sak
You will become a tiger!
SIGN The Moon Over the Mountain
[13:30] Nat
No, it's not like that at all...
[13:32] Sak
I'll explain it so you can understand.
[13:35] Sak
"The Moon Over the Mountain" goes like this:
SIGN Today was another miserable day.
SIGN Every Sunday night,
SIGN I find myself thinking the same thing.
SIGN It's a lazy day off, when nothing happens and nothing changes.
SIGN I wish things could stay like this forever.
SIGN But...
SIGN The Monday Over the Miserable
SIGN Is that you, Atsushi-kun?
SIGN Yes, it's me.
SIGN My overwhelming narcissism has transformed me into a tiger.
SIGN Come on, smile.
SIGN Despite this wretched form I've ended up in,
SIGN I still dream of seeing all the narcissistic poems
SIGN I've written since middle school published in an anthology,
SIGN debuting to rave reviews and a huge print run,
SIGN and having all the girls falling at my feet.
SIGN I know!
SIGN Before my soul turns completely into a tiger's,
SIGN please listen to the poems I've written.
SIGN They're all masterpieces!
SIGN I just know they'll touch you deeply!
[14:58] Nat
Way to scare someone off...
[15:00] Kar
In other words, if a poet does not train
himself mentally, he'll become a tiger, right?
[15:07] Nat
Anyway, funny how we all just have
vague recollections of these stories.
[15:10] Sak
Because we read all of
them in class, I guess.
[15:12] Sak
No wonder our memories are so vague.
[15:15] Nat
You sound completely unashamed about that!
SIGN Record 17
SIGN Vaguely-Remembered Folk Tales
[15:18] Sak
By the way, I saw a commercial using
the character Kintaro recently...
[15:22] Nat
Why are you bringing that up?
[15:24] Sak
Well, it made me realize that I don't
[15:27] Sak
remember the story of Kintaro very well.
[15:29] Nat
Yeah, that's true...
[15:31] Bot
Though, I remember Momotaro
and Urashima Taro pretty well.
[15:35] Cla
Didn't he sumo-wrestle a bear?
[15:38] Sak
Yeah, I think I sorta
remember that happening.
[15:41] Sak
But the way you always picture
Kintaro is like that, right?
SIGN Gold
[15:45] Nat
Yeah, Kintaro with an ax on his shoulder.
SIGN Where do you want to use the ax?
[15:51] Nat
Ax?
[15:53] Nat
Ax?
[15:55] Nat
Where did he use an ax, again?
[15:59] Sak
The part where he kills a bear?
[16:01] Nat
His story isn't that graphic!
[16:03] Kar
Or no matter how many times he chops
the bear, it still has the same face?
[16:06] Nat
You're thinking of Kintaro candy!
[16:08] Cla
I remember now.
[16:10] Cla
Kintaro drops the ax into a lake.
[16:12] Cla
Then, a bear rises out of it...
SIGN Kintaro-san.
SIGN Did you drop this golden ax or this silver—
[16:20] Nat
That's Aesop!
[16:22] Bot
Didn't the village chief send Kintaro out
[16:25] Bot
on a quest to hunt bears with his ax?
SIGN Battle-ax: Leg-Locker Ax (Mod)
Attack Poison
Sharpness
Equipment Critical
[16:27] Nat
Kintaro didn't go hunting, and
he never made bear-based equipment!
[16:31] Bot
But that game is really tough at first, you know?
[16:34] Bot
It's hard to make any progress.
[16:36] Nat
That's because you try to solo them!
[16:39] Kar
Maybe it's more like this!
SIGN Being late on my first day after transferring to a new school is the pits!
[16:51] Aza
What happens next?
SIGN Still in the circle! Still in! Still in!
SIGN Still in! Still in! Still in!
SIGN Wham
[17:05] Kin
Whoa! It's a bear!
[17:07] Nat
He still killed it in the end?!
[17:08] Aza
Hand over your millet dumpling!
[17:10] Bot
If our memory of Kintaro is this vague,
[17:13] Bot
you think we really remember Momotaro
and Urashima Taro as well as we thought?
[17:17] Sak
Let's find out, shall we?
[17:20] Sak
I'm pretty sure Momotaro starts like this...
[17:27] Nar
A long time ago...
[17:29] Nar
in a galaxy far, far away,
[17:32] Nar
lived an old man and a woman...
[17:34] Nat
How many episodes are there?!
SIGN Episode IV: A New Peach
Far away, there lived an old man and an old woman. One day, the old man went
up the mountain to cut grass, while the old woman did the laundry. As she washed
the clothes in the river, a large peach washed up. "My, this will make a nice gfit,"
she said, and took the peach home.
[17:35] Nat
Are Episodes 1 to 3 about the old man?!
[17:38] Cla
Momotaro had a giant, shaggy-haired monkey,
a shiny friend made of gold,
[17:43] Cla
and a robot with a dwarf inside.
[17:45] Cla
Together, they went off to fight ogres.
[17:47] Nat
The only thing you got right was the monkey!
[17:48] Nat
And if you're gonna parody it that much,
[17:51] Nat
you might as well show the rest of them!
[17:58] Sak
Well, setting that aside,
the old man goes to the mountain,
[18:02] Sak
and the old woman goes down
to the river and finds a peach.
[18:05] Kar
Then, she performs a C-section
and pulls out a little boy!
[18:08] Nat
You recounted the situation accurately,
but your word choice was bizarre!
[18:12] Bot
Then, Momotaro travels around
the country buying up properties
[18:16] Bot
to defeat the God of Poverty, right?
[18:28] Sak
Huh?
[18:29] Sak
Aren't you going to retort?
[18:31] Nat
Oh... I thought it best to not even
touch that one, so I let it slide.
[18:37] Aza
Take 2!
[18:40] Cla
Now that I think about it,
[18:42] Cla
the idea of a monkey defeating
an ogre is pretty laughable.
[18:44] Nat
I wouldn't worry about that part too much.
[18:47] Bot
No, monkeys are tougher than you think.
[18:50] Nat
Monkeys are scary!
[18:53] Nat
What was Urashima Taro's story about?
[18:55] Nat
Uh... I think it starts with
some kids harassing a turtle...
[19:00] Kar
That's right.
[19:01] Kar
Then, he buys the turtle off the
bullies and saves it from them.
[19:06] Cla
In other words, he solved
the problem using money.
[19:09] Nat
Yes, but you make it sound so dirty!
[19:12] Sak
Now, now...
[19:13] Sak
If he hadn't used money to solve the problem,
he couldn't have saved the turtle.
[19:17] Nat
Weren't there any other options?!
[19:19] Sak
And if Urashima Taro hadn't saved the turtle...
SIGN I couldn't even save one little turtle...
SIGN I regret ever being born.
[19:30] Nat
Taro! Live on!
[19:32] Aza
Just make a boat out of mud!
[19:34] Kar
Now, what was "Fire-Crackle Mountain" about?
[19:37] Sak
It's about a rabbit who traps a
raccoon dog and drowns him.
[19:41] Nat
What?! Wait...
[19:42] Kar
What about "The Crab and the Monkey"?
[19:44] Bot
The crab's crew gang up on a
monkey and torture him to death.
[19:47] Nat
Wait! Wait!
[19:49] Kar
"The Man Who Made the Dead Trees Blossom"?
[19:50] Cla
He burns a dead dog and scatters
the ashes to make a tree blossom.
SIGN Make this tree blossom!
[19:54] Nat
That's true, but...
[19:55] Sak
Now that I think about it...
[19:57] Sak
a lot of those old folktales are really violent!
[20:00] Girls
They sure are.
[20:01] Nat
It's your memories that are making them violent!
[20:14] Sak
The crows are calling,
[20:17] Sak
so it's time to go home.
SIGN Going Home Above All
[20:41] Sak
Hey, Natsuki-chan!
[20:43] Nat
Coming!
SIGN Going Home Club
SIGN Fire Prevention Supervisor: Kintaro
SIGN Going Home Club
SIGN Fire Prevention Supervisor: Urashima Taro
[22:20] Nat
Huh?!
[22:21] Nat
No one looked into it?
[22:23] Sak
Didn't you look into it, Natsuki-chan?
[22:26] Nat
Well, no.
[22:28] Nat
I thought one of you would have done so.
[22:31] Nat
And I figured it wouldn't really matter
if we didn't find out, anyway...
[22:36] Bot
Spiritually, you must...
[22:37] Bot
keep seeking to improve
yourself or you're a...
[22:39] Bot
buffoon!
[22:42] Nat
I'm a failure?!
SIGN Natsuki Fails!!
SIGN Preview
[22:46] Kar
Karin here.
[22:47] Kar
Did you know that dugongs
have crescent-shaped tails,
[22:49] Kar
and manatees have paddle-shaped tails?
[22:52] Kar
I forget what "kabaddi" tails are shaped like.
[22:55] Kar
Next time, Record 18:
Youth is an Explosion!
[22:58] Kar
And two others.
SIGN Going Home Club Miniature Theater
[23:04] Kar
Sakura-senpai isn't like a pastry at all, is she?
[23:08] Cla
You're right.
[23:09] Cla
I think Doumyouji is the name of a temple.
[23:11] Kar
What?
[23:11] Kar
Sakura-senpai entered the priesthood?
[23:14] Kar
I've been so rude to her!
[23:17] Cla
Calm down, Karin-san.
[23:18] Cla
Sakura-san has hair.
[23:21] Cla
She's not a monk.
[23:22] Kar
B-But it could be a wig...
[23:25] Cla
That's true.
[23:26] Cla
If you think of them as parts,
they could easily detach.
[23:29] Kar
And her bangs too?
[23:30] Cla
The rest could be painted on.
[23:33] Sak
That is not the case!
[23:34] Cla
Sakura-san!
[23:35] Sak
Stop playing around, you two.
[23:37] Sak
My name is—
[23:39] Cla
Shh!
[23:40] Kar
Lord, have mercy on me...
[23:41] Cla
Come on. Take off your wig.
[23:43] Sak
Don't "Come on" me!
[23:44] Sak
You can pray to me all you like,
but I won't bless you!
[23:48] Aza
Toka-ton-ton. Toka-ton-ton.
[23:50] Sak
Anyway, it's not made up of parts.
[23:53] Sak
It's a helmet!
[23:57] Girls
See you next time!
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