E12 - Record 37 - 57

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Going Home Club Mini-Theater
    Final Episode
SIGN    Fire Prevention Supervisor: Now Recruiting
SIGN    Going Home Club - Sakura
[00:14] Nat
    It's too soon for the ending theme!
[00:17] Nat
    Come on!
[00:18] Nat
    Why did you go right
    to the ending theme?
[00:21] Sak
    Well, you know,
[00:22] Sak
    when the ending theme plays early in
    the last episode, it's a surefire winner!
[00:26] Nat
    But that ends it the moment it starts!
[00:28] Cla
    I guess we should have used
    Karin-san's and my song after all.
[00:31] Kar
    That's not the problem!
[00:33] Nat
    Look!
[00:34] Nat
    My point is, changing the song won't help!
[00:37] Nat
    If you put it at the beginning,
[00:39] Nat
    it stops being the ending theme
    and becomes the opening theme!
[00:43] Kar
    I get it!
[00:45] Cla
    We've been saying that
    this is the last episode...
[00:47] Bot
    ...but our activities aren't ending!
[00:49] Sak
    It's the last episode, but it isn't over!
[00:51] Sak
    On the contrary!
    We're just getting started!
[00:56] Girls
    Chronicles of the Going
    Home Club starts now!
[00:59] Aza
    There's still more to watch!
[01:03] Girl
    "Hard work is sacred."
[01:05] Girl
    Just as I was recalling words like
    these with a sigh of relief...
[01:09] Girl
    I heard a "toka-ton-ton"...
[01:12] Girl
    The sound seemed to ring faintly from afar.
[01:16] Girl
    Suddenly, everything I'd done up
    to that point struck me as foolish.
[01:20] Girl
    I stood up, walked back to my room,
[01:23] Girl
    climbed under the covers, and went to sleep.
SIGN    Record 37: Misreading
[01:26] Teacher
    Okay, that's far enough.
[01:28] Teacher
    Now, for the next passage...
[01:31] Teacher
    Doumyouji.
[01:34] Teacher
    The next passage. Read it, please.
[01:44] Sak
    I turned my face up
[01:46] Sak
    to face the sky high above.
[01:48] Sak
    Cirrocumulus.
[01:49] Teacher
    Who told you to compose a haiku?!
[03:25] Kar
    Tapirs live in equatorial jungles.
[03:28] Kar
    Did you all know
[03:30] Kar
    that tapirs have an unusual
    bone structure that makes
[03:32] Kar
    their front legs longer
    than their back legs?
[03:35] Kar
    But setting that aside...
[03:38] Kar
    I'm currently...
[03:40] Kar
    fleeing the Demon King's pursuit!
SIGN    Record 38:
    What's "Tap-oom"?
[03:55] Badguy
    You gave me quite the run-around.
[03:57] Badguy
    You have a birthmark on your butt marking
    you as the wielder of tremendous power.
[04:01] Badguy
    Show it to me!
[04:03] Kar
    No!
[04:03] Kar
    There are various reasons
    I can't show it to you!
[04:10] Badguy
    You leave me no choice.
[04:11] Badguy
    In that case...
[04:12] Badguy
    I'll tear it off by force!
[04:15] Tapir
    That's enough!
[04:16] Badguy
    What?
[04:17] Badguy
    Who are you?!
[04:19] Tapir
    I am heir to the mark passed
    down since ancient times.
[04:23] Tapir
    The one who will stand
    against the Demon King...
[04:26] Tapir
    The one true hero: Tapir!
[04:28] Tapir
    Demon King Veribadd, I won't
    let you have your own way!
[04:34] Badguy
    Such impudence from a mere tapir!
[04:36] Badguy
    Very well! Then, I shall
    start by ripping off y—
[04:39] Tapir
    Super Tap-oom!
[04:41] Demonking
    That's huge! What is that spell?!
[04:54] Kar
    Amazing! That was amazing, Tapir-san!
[05:05] Tapir
    Have you learned the power
    of pay-to-win items?
[05:12] Kar
    I get it now, Tapir-san...
[05:14] Kar
    So...
[05:15] Kar
    So that's what "tap-oom" meant...
[05:16] Teacher
    Hey! Touno! Wake up!
SIGN    Don't Try This at Home
[05:20] Aza
    Hey, kids! Don't fall
    sleep in class, ya hear?
SIGN    Record 39
SIGN    I Hate Bugs
[05:28] Kar
    I really, really can't stand bugs!
[05:31] Kar
    A while ago, there was a centipede
    four centimeters long in my house.
[05:35] Kar
    And I just shouted...
[05:37] (Flashback) Kar
    Monnu!
SIGN    Monnu
[05:38] Kar
    ...out of nowhere.
[05:40] Nat
    That's a hard word to say
    on the spur of the moment.
[05:42] Kar
    But, Nat-chan, four
    centimeters is really big!
[05:46] Kar
    It's about as large as
    an eleven-week-old fetus!
[05:49] Nat
    Why are you comparing it to new life?!
[05:53] Sak
    I see.
[05:55] Sak
    By the way, speaking of sizes...
[05:57] Sak
    A toilet flush has settings for
    both "big" and "small,"
[06:00] Sak
    but even if you set it for "small,"
    it still uses a lot of water.
[06:03] Nat
    That doesn't really have much to do with size.
[06:06] Nat
    And what kind of subject is
    that for a heroine to bring up?
[06:09] Bot
    No...
[06:11] Bot
    I don't care! Continue!
[06:12] Nat
    For some reason, Botan-senpai
    just gave the "Go" sign!
SIGN    Record 40
SIGN    Conserving Water
[06:17] Sak
    I just think,
[06:18] Sak
    if you used the "small" setting
    for "big," "middle," and "small,"
SIGN    Small Big
[06:21] Sak
    it would save water and be
    good for the environment.
[06:26] Nat
    I feel I should ask... What's "middle"?
[06:30] Sak
    When it's almost a liquid, it's "middle"!
SIGN    Boom
[06:31] Nat
    Okay, stop!
SIGN    Please wait a moment
SIGN    Botan-senpai is currently deploying Air Refresh Logos. Please wait patiently until the purification is complete.
[06:34] Aza
    Please wait a moment.
[06:45] Cla
    Hm?
SIGN    Record 41
     Antonyms
[06:57] Cla
    Oh, dear.
[06:58] Cla
    My mechanical pencil's out of lead.
[07:00] Nat
    I'll go buy some for you.
[07:02] Cla
    What? But...
[07:03] Nat
    I was about to go to the school store anyway...
[07:05] Nat
    I'll buy you some while I'm there.
[07:07] Cla
    Really?
[07:08] Cla
    Well, if you wouldn't mind...
[07:11] Cla
    This should cover it, right?
[07:14] Nat
    You want me to buy the whole box?
[07:17] Cla
    Well, there are 40 leads in a case,
    and they're 200 yen apiece,
[07:20] Cla
    which comes to 8,000 yen, right?
[07:22] Nat
    The 200 yen is obviously
    for all 40 leads!
[07:25] Nat
    What kind of bourgeois writing
    materials were you expecting?!
[07:28] Cla
    I-It's 200 yen for the whole case?
[07:32] Cla
    You mean to say that each
    lead is only five yen?
[07:35] Cla
    What is this quantum physical pricing?
[07:38] Nat
    Is that the antonym of "astronomical"?
[07:40] Nat
    First time I've ever heard that!
SIGN    Furuhashi
[07:52] Nat
    Hello?
[07:53] Fur
    Natsunoji.
[07:54] Nat
    "Natsunoji"?
[07:56] Fur
    There's something I'd like to show you.
[07:59] Fur
    Could I trouble you to pay a visit to the roof?
[08:02] Nat
    What's this character supposed to be?
[08:04] Nat
    Just—
[08:04] Fur
    You'll see when you get there.
SIGN    Record 42
SIGN    Debut!! Aikarin
[08:14] Nat
    So what is it?
[08:16] Nat
    What'd you call me up here to show me?
[08:20] Fur
    I'm Ai!
[08:21] Kar
    I'm Karin!
[08:24] Girls
    Together, we are... Aikarin!
[08:37] Fur
    It's time for "Aikarin's
    Machine Gun Short Skits!"
[08:39] Fur
    Delinquent.
[08:41] Fur
    Hey, I wanna hit the arcade.
[08:44] Fur
    Lend me some cash, would ya?
[08:47] Kar
    Oh, no! I can't!
[08:50] Fur
    Oh, yeah? You sure that's
    your final answer?
[08:55] Fur
    My li'l bro's the leader of
    an elementary school gang!
[08:57] Kar
    That's pathetic!
[09:02] Nat
    28 points.
[09:04] Fur
    That's harsh!
[09:05] Nat
    I deducted five points in advance because
     you made up another nickname for me.
[09:09] Fur
    Which means I was already in the
    red when I called you up here?
[09:12] Nat
    Even with those five points,
    you'd still be in the red.
[09:15] Nat
    Plus, you called it "machine gun,"
    but you only did one gag.
[09:18] Nat
    That makes no sense.
[09:19] Fur
    Well, we thought this one gag was as
    powerful as a machine gun barrage...
[09:23] Nat
    That makes no sense!
    It has to be rapid fire!
[09:25] Nat
    So why did you suddenly
    decide to take on comedy?
[09:28] Fur
    Well... earlier, I saw a
    comedy program on TV, and...
[09:32] Fur
    I thought "That looks easy.
    Even I could reach the top level."
[09:37] Nat
    Do you have an eternal wellspring of
    confidence inside that brain of yours?
[09:41] Fur
    Huh?
SIGN    The Top
[09:43] Aza
    Far away?
SIGN    Record 43
SIGN    Aikarin Strikes Back
[09:51] Fur
    It's time for "Aikarin's Explosive
    Hand Grenade Short Skits!"
[09:54] Fur
    Birth!
[09:56] Fur
    What's wrong?
[09:57] Fur
    Huh? Are you okay?
[10:00] Kar
    I-I'm giving birth!
[10:02] Fur
    I know! The Lamaze Technique!
[10:15] Kar
    Oxygen is delicious!
[10:18] Nat
    Why did you take the surrealist route?
[10:20] Fur
    What do you think?
[10:20] Nat
    I'm not sure what to say.
[10:23] Nat
    That reminds me, Furuishi...
[10:25] Fur
    It's Furuhashi!
[10:27] Nat
    So your first name's Ai, is it?
[10:29] Nat
    I never knew!
[10:32] Fur
    We spent three years in middle
    school together, didn't we?!
[10:37] Sak
    And with that...
[10:38] Cla
    ...Chronicles of the Going Home Club...
[10:40] Bot
    ...has completed all twelve episodes.
[10:41] All
    Thank you for watchi—
[10:42] Nat
    It's not over yet!
SIGN    Chronicles of the Going Home Club
SIGN    Going Home Club Photo Gallery
SIGN    All that still remains of the Going Home Club's lost dreams is the summer grass
SIGN    Chronicles of the Going Home Club
SIGN    Fire Prevention Supervisor: Iizuka
SIGN    Student Council Room
SIGN    Student Council President
[11:11] Rei
    What?
[11:12] Rei
    I get another appearance?!
SIGN    Record 44
SIGN    Complacency
[11:15] Rei
    But I thought last week
    was the final episode...
[11:18] Kan
    President! Urgent news!
SIGN    Student Council Secretary, 2nd year
    
    Kaneda Masao
[11:20] Rei
    Is it about the Soccer Club
    and the Baseball Club?
SIGN    Record 45
SIGN    The Perfect Equal
[11:23] Kan
    You already know about it?
[11:25] Rei
    Don't worry. I've already taken
    measures to deal with it.
SIGN    Student Council President: 3rd Year
    Takakado Reina
    Special Ability: Handbook Bind
[11:28] Kan
    What do you mean?
[11:31] Rei
    I've sent the vice president to the scene.
[11:33] Kan
    Iizuka-san?!
[11:35] Aza
    The animators got complacent and forgot
    to design the secretary, Kaneda-kun.
[11:44] Sak
    The Student Council Vice
    President, Iizuka Kouhei.
SIGN    Student Council
    Vice President: 3rd Year
     Iizuka Kouhei
[11:48] Sak
    They call him a romantic... an idealist.
[11:53] Nat
    So he has an alias, too...
[11:55] Sak
    His ability is "The Perfect Equal."
SIGN    The Perfect Equal
SIGN    The Perfect Equal
[11:59] Nat
    Another one with superpowers?!
[12:01] Kar
    What kind of ability is "The Perfect Equal"?
[12:05] Bot
    From what I've heard, it ensures lunch
    portions are served out equally.
[12:09] Nat
    What's the point of that?!
[12:11] Sak
    Plus, our school doesn't
    even have lunch service.
[12:14] Cla
    In other words, his ability
    is useless garbage, right?
[12:19] Nat
    I think that's a little too harsh.
SIGN    Record 46
SIGN    Animal Sounds
[12:23] Sak
    Speaking of aliases...
[12:24] Sak
    We call dogs "bow-wows" so why
    don't we call cats "meow-meows"?
[12:29] Bot
    That's less an alias and more of a label.
[12:32] Kar
    That's true.
[12:34] Kar
    It's the same with Malay Tapirs.
[12:36] Kar
    Ta...
[12:38] Nat
    Why did you bring up an animal when
    you don't know what sound it makes?!
[12:42] Cla
    We could call Parrots
    "Pollywannacracker-chan," too.
[12:45] Par
    Good morning!
[12:47] Nat
    Now we're just talking about
    things that don't matter!
[12:50] Bot
    And a whip-poor-will should be
    called "Whip-poor-will-chan"!
[12:52] Nat
    That's the same thing!
[12:53] Nat
    You people are real idiots!
SIGN    Record 47
SIGN    Map
[12:58] Kar
    We still haven't reached that cute
    sundries shop we saw on the internet?
[13:02] Sak
    According to the map,
    it should be in this area...
[13:05] Nat
    Knowing Sakura-senpai,
[13:07] Nat
    she probably brought a
    map of the world by mistake.
[13:10] Nat
    That's not the punchline here, is it?
SIGN    Map of the Galaxy
[13:16] Nat
    The scale's way too big!
[13:18] Aza
    You are currently... here!
[13:21] Nat
    I can barely even tell
    where our solar system is!
SIGN    Record 48
SIGN    Taste of the Commoners
[13:24] Cla
    Well, shall we stop by the convenience
    store, and then head to the park?
[13:33] Aza
    You can do it!
[13:40] Kar
    Claire-senpai! Look at this!
[13:43] Kar
    This is the most delicious
    part of the ice cream!
[13:48] Cla
    May I try it?
[13:50] Kar
    Yes!
SIGN    Ice Cream
[13:58] Cla
    So this is the taste of the commoners?
[14:00] Nat
    That overjoyed reaction just shows
[14:01] Nat
    how big the gap is between
    you and the commoners.
SIGN    Record 49
SIGN    Heroic Tale
[14:07] Bot
    I did have one of those before.
[14:09] Bot
    There were these guys
    who wanted to get rid of me
[14:12] Bot
    before I could learn Hagitsuki-ryuu.
[14:14] Nat
    That sounds awfully savage.
[14:18] Bot
    I was about three years old.
[14:20] Bot
    They used a sniper rifle
    to shoot me in the chest.
[14:23] Nat
    That's a major incident out of the blue!
[14:29] Bot
    I was such a novice.
[14:31] Bot
    I didn't even notice the
    sniper one kilometer away.
[14:34] Bot
    Of course, now, I'd spot him immediately.
[14:36] Nat
    You sound embarrassed about your past,
[14:39] Nat
    but it's scarier that you notice them at all!
[14:40] Kar
    B-But you were shot in the chest...
[14:44] Kar
    Does that mean you died when
    you were a child, Botan-senpai?!
[14:48] Cla
    Karin-san, calm down.
[14:50] Cla
    The fact that she's here with us now
    proves that she survived being shot.
[14:55] Nat
    But, how did you survive?
[14:58] Bot
    I happened to be carrying
    something in my chest region.
[15:02] Bot
    It blocked the bullet.
[15:04] Sak
    Wow! Just like in the movies!
[15:07] Bot
    Yes. I got it from my parents.
[15:10] Bot
    My ribcage!
[15:13] Nat
    You can't block a bullet like that!
[15:17] Bot
    I've been waiting for this moment.
[15:19] Bot
    It's time to settle this once and for all.
[15:23] Bot
    Bear!
[15:26] Nat
    Um...
SIGN    Record 50
SIGN    What if the Person Inside the
    Four Bear Kings Costume in the
    Spirit World was a Super Feminayan?
[15:28] Nat
    What's going on?
SIGN    Four Bear Kings: Polar Bear
[15:33] Bear
    He is the strongest of the Four Bear Kings.
[15:39] Bear
    Do you really think you can beat me?
[15:46] Bot
    It can't be...
[15:48] Bot
    You mean...
[15:49] Bot
    It was you...
[15:52] Bot
    Karin?!
[15:53] Bot
    What's going on here?
[15:55] Kar
    I am of a race that can
    alter its contents at will.
[15:58] Bear
    The Costume Bear!
[16:01] Kar
    And you're wide open...
[16:02] Kar
    Botan-senpai!
SIGN    Cute
SIGN    Femi...
SIGN    Cute
[16:14] ---
    ...nine...
SIGN    Cute
[16:16] ---
    ap...
SIGN    Cute
[16:18] ---
    ...peal!
SIGN    Cute
[16:19] Bot
    Her feminine appeal is overwhelming...
SIGN    Cute
[16:22] Bot
    I can't beat her.
[16:24] Cla
    Naturally!
[16:25] Sak
    The Four Bear Kings are a
    force to be reckoned with!
[16:27] Nat
    But...
[16:28] Nat
    This doesn't even make any sense!
SIGN    Record 51: A Song That's Not
    Even Vaguely Remembered
[16:40] Cla
    Look, everyone. This is
    the famous Moldau River.
[16:44] Kar
    It's so big!
[16:46] Bot
    Speaking of which, Sakura...
[16:48] Bot
    You sang "Die Moldau" in your
    middle school choir, right?
[16:52] Sak
    That's right!
[16:53] Bot
    Well, since we're here now,
    why don't you sing it?
[16:56] Kar
    I'd like to hear it!
[16:58] Kar
    Please sing it in German!
[17:00] Sak
    In... In German?
[17:02] Kar
    Yes! Please!
[17:16] Kar
    That's "Demon King," Sakura-senpai!
[17:18] Kar
    I want to hear "Die Moldau"!
[17:23] Kar
    Not "Demon King!"
    "Die Moldau," please!
[17:34] Cla
    You never sang "Die Moldau," did you?
[17:38] Sak
    Father!
[17:40] Nat
    That's not your father!
SIGN    Going Home Club Explains: What is "Die Moldau"?
[17:42] Aza
    By the way,
[17:43] Aza
    "Die Moldau" is actually
    one part of a longer work
[17:46] Aza
    by a Czech composer named Smetana,
     arranged for choruses to sing.
[17:49] Aza
    The lyrics we sing were added by the Japanese.
[17:52] Nat
    So when you sang it in middle
    school, it was in Japanese?!
[17:55] Sak
    I'm sorry!
SIGN    Record 52
SIGN    You Fed the Cute Girls Too Much
[17:58] Cla
    Karin-san. Here's your drink.
[18:01] Cla
    I didn't want you to hurt your
    hands, so I opened it first.
[18:05] Cla
    I've also turned in your handouts for
    the day, so don't worry about that.
[18:09] Cla
    Then, I filled your mechanical
    pencil with lead,
[18:12] Cla
    and I put an extra pink eraser
    in your locker for you.
[18:15] Cla
    Do you have a handkerchief
    and pocket tissues?
[18:17] Cla
    Also, I went to the restroom for you.
[18:18] Nat
    I know this is your usual routine, but...
[18:22] Nat
    don't you think you're spoiling
    her a little too much?
[18:24] Cla
    Oh, no, I don't fink fo!
[18:29] Cla
    Goo!
[18:31] Nat
    That would never happen!
SIGN    Record 53: "How to Draw" Song
[18:36] Sak
    I thought up a "How to
    Draw Natsuki-chan" song!
[18:38] Nat
    Huh?
[18:39] Sak
    The crescent moon rises high in the sky!
[18:45] Nat
    That's it?!
SIGN    Record 54
SIGN    Cute
[18:49] Ann
    For winning the title of MVP,
[18:51] Ann
    Cristiano Messi will be awarded
    a top-of-the-line sports car.
[18:56] Kar
    Wow!
[18:56] Kar
    Soccer players drive big cars, huh?
SIGN    Record 55: The "How to Draw Sakura-chan" Song
[19:05] Sak
    I thought up a "How to
    Draw Sakura-chan" song!
[19:08] Sak
    Then, I'll draw it now!
[19:09] Sak
    But there's something you need first.
[19:11] Sak
    A mental image.
[19:13] Sak
    A mental image of what
    you're drawing is essential.
[19:15] Bot
    This looks like it's gonna take
    a while. Better fast-forward.
[19:15] Sak
    Understand? When it's time to draw—
SIGN    Fast Forward
SIGN    Fast Forward
SIGN    Fast Forward
SIGN    Pause
SIGN    Play
[19:23] Sak
    And just like that, you've got Sakura-chan!
[19:26] Nat
    Don't fast-forward through
    the drawing process!
[19:28] Girls
    Yeah, right! Yeah, right! Yeah, right!
[19:30] Nar
    Somewhere, hidden from the eyes of men,
[19:32] Nar
    there is a merciless underworld
    organization that trains skilled Retorters.
[19:39] Nar
    It is called:
SIGN    Record 56: The Retorters' Pit
[19:41] Nar
    The Retorters' Pit
[19:42] Nat
    That doesn't exist!
SIGN    Record 57
SIGN    Important Announcement
[19:48] Sak
    I now have two important announcements!
[19:48] Sak
    One, two!
[19:51] Sak
    The first concerns the cat that's been
    hanging around the school grounds.
[19:54] Sak
    That cat just had kittens
    behind the school building.
[19:58] Kar
    I thought she was looking
    chubby recently!
[20:01] Kar
    So she became a mom!
[20:03] Bot
    Okay! Let's go see!
[20:05] Cla
    I'm sure they're all as cute as Karin-san.
[20:09] Kar
    I want to go see them!
[20:11] Sak
    Okay! Let's go see them now!
[20:13] Nat
    W-Wait a minute! Before we do that...
[20:17] Nat
    What's the other important announcement?
[20:23] Sak
    Oh.
[20:24] Sak
    It's that there are only 60 seconds
    until the end of the series.
[20:31] Bot
    You decided to bring this up now?
[20:33] Cla
    Just fifty-four seconds remaining...
[20:34] Cla
    We only have time for one more joke.
[20:37] Nat
    We can't bomb the final punchline.
[20:40] Kar
    I want to see the kittens!
[20:44] Nat
    What? It's mine? What awful timing!
[20:48] Kar
    Nat-chan, did you change your ringtone?!
[20:49] Sak
    That's not the part you
    should be concerned with!
[20:51] Nat
    Furuhashi, sorry!
[20:52] Nat
    I'm a little occupied right now!
SIGN    Furuhashi Ai
[20:55] Fur
    Natsukinov... You got my name
    right for the first time.
[20:59] Nat
    Huh? Wait, anyway...
[21:01] Nat
    What do you want?
[21:03] Fur
    I realized I keep forgetting to tell you.
[21:07] Fur
    And given the occasion,
    I thought I should tell you now...
[21:11] Fur
    You remember how I wasn't
    sure if I should join
[21:15] Fur
    the Tennis Club or the
    Hundred Poems Club?
[21:19] Fur
    The truth is...
[21:21] Fur
    I joined the Volleyball Club.
[21:22] Nat
    Who cares about that?!
[21:24] Nat
    We're out of time!
[21:24] Aza
    Three... Two... One.
[22:59] Sak
    Oh, well. I wish we could
    have made it to Record 100.
[23:03] Nat
    That would've been impossible
    in the time we had.
[23:07] Bot
    We could've done a skit every 45 frames.
[23:11] Bot
    That'd make it possible, right?
[23:12] Nat
    My retorts couldn't keep
    up with that speed.
[23:16] Cla
    We didn't get to do a final joke.
[23:18] Cla
    We would have done better just showing
    cute pictures of Karin-san the whole time.
[23:23] Nat
    You never change, do you?
[23:28] Nat
    Karin?
[23:32] Kar
    The first evening star!
[23:49] Cla
    What?
[23:50] Bot
    It's moving, isn't it?
[23:51] Nat
    Um...
[23:53] Sak
    That's an airplane.
[23:56] Nat
    Well, that ruined everything...
SIGN    The End.