E12 - The Disappearance of Virtual-san

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Peanut
    Today's the final episode!
[00:03] Uma
    Hey, hey, hey, hey!
    Anything you wanna say in the end?
[00:05] Peanut
    Thanks for the last three months!
[00:07] Uma
    There's another episode
    on the Blu-rays, too!
[00:09] Peanut
    You're gonna advertise now?!
     You horsey bastard!
SIGN    Virtual Real
    Was Looking
    Final Episode
[00:15] Mito
    He's the one who will determine whether
    or not this world can change.
[00:25] Hinata
    Bye-bye.
[00:31] Hina
    That new world...
[00:33] Hime
    I wish we could've seen it.
[00:38] Shiro
    Thank you for trying so hard.
[00:42] Mito
    We will never forget you.
[00:51] Akari
    But I'm sure that...
[00:58] All
    You can do it!
[01:05] Giant Mob
    What the—?!
[01:14] Robo
    What is this? What's going on?
[01:17] Hime
    All right!
[01:18] Hinata
    Good work!
[01:20] Hina
    I knew you could pull it off!
[01:22] Akari
    All right, let's do this!
[01:24] Mito
    Please, listen to this!
[01:25] Shiro
    It's our...
[01:26] Shiro
    Virtual Real song!
[03:17] Hikari
    Virtual-san is looking!
[03:22] Call
    Virtual Grandmother!
[03:26] Granny
    Idaten bashiri.
SIGN    Grandma
SIGN    Today's Phrase
    Idaten Bashiri
[03:28] Granny
    That's the phrase.
[03:31] Granny
    It has a simple meaning, which
    is to run a great distance.
[03:35] Granny
    But there are limits to what
    human limbs can manage.
[03:38] Granny
    And as a result, humanity came
    across the idea of transportation.
[03:43] Granny
    And among them all, the Shinkansen,
SIGN    Grandma
[03:47] Granny
    which started operating in 1964,
    might be the most amazing.
[03:51] Granny
    Then you have automobiles, which grew into
    a type of vehicle that anyone can use,
[03:55] Granny
    and the completion of the
    high-speed roadways in 1965.
[04:00] Granny
    As for me, I got my license
    right away when I turned 20.
[04:04] Granny
    And I just couldn't get enough of driving!
[04:07] Granny
    Back then, the toll was 100 yen,
    regardless of where you used it.
[04:10] Granny
    I used to drive down the highway
    a lot by myself in those days.
[04:14] Granny
    I just enjoyed the act of driving.
[04:18] Granny
    I can still move, too! Look at this!
     Impressive, isn't it?
[04:22] Granny
    I can even drive while doing backflips.
[04:25] Granny
    Because I'm virtual, you see,
     I can do anything!
[04:31] Granny
    Now this is idaten bashiri!
SIGN    Everyone's
    Virtual-san
[04:40] Subaru
    I'm Subaru Ingram, an incubus.
SIGN    Pen Name: Subaru Ingram
SIGN    Everyone's
    Virtual-san
[04:45] Subaru
    I might look like a girl,
[04:48] Subaru
    but I really am a boy!
[04:56] Shiro
    Virtual-san is looking.
[05:00] Hinata
    Hey, Virtual-san is looking.
[05:06] Gori
    Aoi-san, here we have a button.
SIGN    100 Million
[05:09] Aoi
    Right.
[05:10] Gori
    And if you press it,
    you'll get a hundred million yen.
SIGN    100 Million
[05:13] Aoi
    Right.
[05:13] Gori
    But in exchange,
    Fuji Aoi Park will be destroyed.
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
[05:17] Aoi
    Okay.
[05:18] Gori
    Would you press that button? Or...
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
[05:25] Gori
    Wait, but... destruction?
SIGN    100 Million
SIGN    100 Million
[05:28] Aoi
    Okay!
[05:30] Aoi
    That oughta be good for a billion, I think.
[05:31] Gori
    I suppose so...
SIGN    100 Million
[05:32] Aoi
    Okay, time to grab something tasty to eat!
[05:35] Aoi
    The bananas are on me!
SIGN    100 Million
[05:36] Gori
    Only bananas?
[05:37] Aoi
    Fuji Aoi!
SIGN    Fuji Aoi Park
[05:39] Gori
    Hello.
[05:42] Hinata
    Big trouble, big trouble!
[05:44] Hinata
    Akari-chan, there's big trouble!
[05:47] Hinata
    Real big trouble, Akari-chan!
[05:55] Akari
    Hinata! So it's your turn. What's up?
[06:00] Hinata
    Akari-chan, there's big trouble!
[06:03] Akari
    And what's that?
[06:05] Hinata
    Someone with the pen name
    "Rocky-kun" is in trouble.
[06:07] Hinata
    Here, check it out.
[06:09] Akari
    Okay. Let's see, "Hello Akari-san."
[06:11] Hinata
    Hello.
[06:12] Akari
    H'lo!
[06:13] Akari
    "I have a YouTube channel, but I don't
    stand out, and it's really difficult."
SIGN    [Advice] Here me out
[06:18] Akari
    "How can I develop the kind of
    quirk that would make it
[06:21] Akari
    so that anyone would remember
    me after a single video?"
[06:23] Hinata
    I get how he feels.
SIGN    Problem: How can I
     be memorable?
[06:25] Akari
    Y'know, even we had trouble with this.
[06:27] Hinata
    Everyone worries about it.
[06:31] Akari
    What to do...?
[06:33] Hinata
    Huh? Mirai-san?
[06:35] Hinata
    Mirai-san!
SIGN    Hikari
SIGN    Yami
[06:38] Yami
    You just need to be provocative!
[06:41] Hikari
    Like drinking a whole cola at once?
[06:44] Yami
    How the hell does that provoke anyone?!
[06:46] Yami
    You need something with sex and violence,
     or no one will care!
[06:50] Hikari
    Oh, no!
[06:51] Hikari
    If you do that, you're bound to get
    complaints from all over the place!
[06:56] Yami
    The squeaky wheel gets the grease!
[06:58] Yami
    That's part of standing out.
[07:01] Hikari
    That might be true, but...
[07:03] Hikari
    I'm sorry, Akari, you have to handle this!
[07:08] Hinata
    Hello! Mirai-san?
[07:11] Akari
    Oh, sorry about that.
[07:13] Akari
    I almost fell asleep.
[07:15] Hinata
    Good morning, then!
[07:16] Akari
    Morning!
[07:18] Akari
    Pen name Rocky-kun! Here's the bottom line!
[07:23] Hinata
    Is this finally it? Her bottom... line?
[07:27] Akari
    You need to be from the future!
[07:30] Akari
    I mean, there's no one from
    the future who's a YouTuber!
[07:33] Akari
    Someone like that would know
    the winning lotto numbers
[07:35] Akari
    and which horses would win their races!
[07:38] Akari
    That's one heck of a gimmick!
[07:40] Hinata
    Okay, okay, okay.
[07:42] Akari
    "Something shocking will happen
    to the world in a year..."
[07:45] Akari
    "Oh, but if I say any more,
    it'll alter the timeline!"
[07:48] Akari
    You say stuff like that and
    your views will blow up!
[07:52] Hinata
    I can see why, but y'know,
[07:55] Hinata
    I think it'd be impossible to get away
    with claiming to be from the future.
[07:58] Akari
    Impossible, she says! You never know!
[08:02] Akari
    In another few decades,
    there might be time machines!
[08:05] Hinata
    Y-You've got a point! That might happen!
[08:07] Akari
    Which is why if Rocky-kun
    waits until he's a grandpa,
[08:11] Akari
    I'm sure he'll be able to make his
    debut as the YouTuber from future!
[08:14] Hinata
    But when it actually gets to be that era,
[08:17] Hinata
    everyone else might hop into time machines
    to become YouTubers from the future, too.
[08:25] Akari
    When that happens, uh...
[08:29] Akari
    He can dye his hair blond!
[08:30] Hinata
    H-How unique!
[08:32] Akari
    So focus on keeping your hair until the
    time machine is ready in the meantime!
[08:37] Hinata
    I see!
[08:44] Hinata
    A blond YouTuber from the future!
SIGN    Big Trouble!
    Akari-chan
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
    School
[09:03] Hinata
    This is bad.
[09:06] Hinata
    I can see a man at the end of this road.
[09:08] Hinata
    And in front of him is a little girl.
[09:10] Hinata
    If he's some kind of old creep...
[09:13] Hinata
    Should I toss a grenade before
    that girl gets traumatized?
[09:16] Hinata
    No, she could get caught in the blast.
[09:19] Hinata
    And a SMG wouldn't be accurate
    at this distance.
[09:23] Hinata
    I think I'd better pop
    smoke to conceal that guy,
[09:26] Hinata
    and then have the girl
    evacuate in the meantime.
[09:33] Girl
    Papa!
[09:35] Hinata
    I almost slaughtered her old man!
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
     School
[09:42] Hina
    Yo, yo, yo! Virtual-san is looking!
    Yo, yo, yo!
SIGN    Trivia
    Diner
[09:51] Shiro
    Oh, it's Virtual-san... Welcome!
[09:55] Uma
    I am so fed up!
[09:58] Uma
    Can I get some trivia about horses, please?
SIGN    Trivia, go!
[10:05] Shiro
    Horses...
[10:06] Shiro
    Y'know, the part of horses that
    seems like it would be knee
[10:09] Shiro
    is actually more comparable
    to the human wrist,
[10:11] Shiro
    which means what looks like a shin is really
    a middle finger pointing down all the time.
[10:15] Shiro
    And their hooves are sort of like something
[10:18] Shiro
    that evolved out of their middle fingernail.
[10:21] Shiro
    Horses also have incredible eyes.
[10:25] Shiro
    It's said that humans have a
    200 degree range of vision,
[10:28] Shiro
    but horses can see a range up to 350 degrees!
[10:32] Shiro
    If you try to play, "Guess who?"
    with them, they'll see you coming!
[10:36] Shiro
    By the way, the saying
    "has blinders on" comes from horses
[10:39] Shiro
    who were only allowed to see
    what was in front of them,
[10:44] Shiro
    and means that you're focused on a single
    thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
[10:50] Shiro
    I wish there was a horse I knew who
    could work like he had blinders on.
[10:58] Virtual
    Wow, really?
[11:01] Virtual
    Your trivia is always so handy, Siro-chan!
[11:04] Shiro
    Stop flipping me off.
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[11:09] Mito
    I sent her that picture of protein,
    but will she actually show up?
SIGN    Shizurin appeared!
[11:16] Rin
    Mito-san!
[11:18] Rin
    Is it true there are ripped gentlemen
    enthusiastically enjoying protein here?!
[11:22] Mito
    Shizurin-senpai, you're dumber than I thought.
[11:24] Mito
    All we have here is the protein.
[11:26] Mito
    God damn!
[11:29] Mito
    Now then, Shizurin-senpai, it's time for
    our ultimate "Would you rather" committee.
[11:33] Rin
    Again?
[11:35] Mito
    Here's our subject for today!
[11:37] Mito
    If you had to pick, which would you prefer?
[11:39] Mito
    A) Spend an entire day hunched over,
[11:41] Mito
    B) Spend an entire day
    standing on your toes.
[11:42] ---
    Standing on my toes...
[11:44] ---
    Yes.
[11:44] Rin
    I'd rather not do either,
    but I guess I'd pick tiptoes.
[11:49] Mito
    Oh, I was thinking of saying that, too.
[11:51] Rin
    That's fine, isn't it? We can match, then.
[11:52] Mito
    No, no, the segment would end in that case!
[11:53] Rin
    Nice and tidy!
[11:54] Mito
    Let's try it to see for sure.
[11:56] Mito
    I'll stand on my tiptoes,
[11:58] Mito
    and Shizurin-senpai will hunch over,
    and we'll converse about something!
[12:00] Rin
    That's unfair. Totally unfair, but...
[12:02] Mito
    This is really killing my calves, though.
[12:05] Rin
    But imagine having to spend
    a whole day like this.
[12:07] Mito
    Good point.
[12:09] Rin
    Let's trade! I'll stand on my tip toes.
[12:11] Mito
    No, no, wouldn't that mean
    I'd have to hunch over?
[12:13] Rin
    Right, exactly.
[12:14] Mito
    I'm afraid that I can't,
    for religious reasons.
[12:16] Rin
    What religion is that?!
[12:18] Rin
    If you're a real entertainer,
    you need to try it out!
[12:22] Mito
    Don't blame me if this goes badly, then.
[12:23] Rin
    Stoop! Stoop!
[12:26] Rin
    You know what, never mind! Never mind!
[12:27] Mito
    I figured as much! Now, you see.
[12:29] Rin
    I had to cover that up.
[12:31] Mito
    When I hunch over, it's really
    quite a sight, let me tell you!
[12:34] Rin
    That was scary.
[12:35] Mito
    Oh, it's already 3 PM!
[12:37] Mito
    That means our result is...
[12:39] Mito
    B, spending all day on your tiptoes!
[12:42] Rin
    Aw, no, come on, I really
    don't want to do that, either!
[12:46] Mito
    If you want to be a real VTuber,
[12:47] Mito
    you need to know what you
    are and aren't capable of!
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[12:54] Hime
    Virtual-san is looking!
SIGN    Unity-chan Wants to
    Roll Around
[13:04] Unity
    I think I burned through five curry
    croquettes' worth of calories!
[13:07] Unity
    But I know you've got
    them ready, don't you?!
[13:10] Unity
    Come on, curry croquettes!
[13:14] Unity
    There's so many!
[13:19] Unity
    Lots and lots!
[13:24] Unity
    Huh? A dream ending?
SIGN    Previously on Kerin Slayer.
SIGN    Kerin Slayer.
[13:40] Kerin
    Wh-Who are you supposed to be?!
[13:42] Mito
    Where's that bubbly at?
[13:43] Hina
    Mito-chan?!
[13:44] Mito
    Tanaka, Hina, I've come to rescue you two!
[13:47] Hime
    Wh-Wh-What's going on here, Mitonator?!
[13:50] Mito
    If the two of you are hit
    with Buchichamp de'Oom,
[13:52] Mito
    you'll develop an addiction
    to hosts and go bankrupt.
[13:54] Mito
    That's the kind of future that awaits.
[13:55] Hina
    What the heck? That's scary.
[13:57] Mito
    I've come from the future to
    prevent that from happening.
[14:00] Hime & Hina
    M-Mitonator-sama!
[14:03] Kerin
    Cut all the jibber-jabber!
[14:05] Kerin
    You wasted all my Chandon.
[14:07] Mito
    Silence!
[14:08] Mito
    The real problem here is that you've
    become a washed-up drunkard!
[14:12] Kerin
    Y'know, booze... the thing with booze!
[14:15] Kerin
    It's the only friend I have!
[14:17] Kerin
    I'm gonna drink and drink
    until it drinks me up!
SIGN    Buchichamp de'Oom
[14:21] Mito
    What kind of vulgar sorcery is this?!
[14:23] Hina
    Mito-chan, get clear!
[14:24] Mito
    No, I can deal with this with my own magic!
[14:28] Mito
    Selphshield!
[14:30] Hime
    That's the most advanced type
    of barrier magic, Selphshield!
[14:34] Mitoshield
    The refined class prez!
[14:36] Kerin
    Impossible! My Chandon!
[14:38] Kerin
    All the work I've done since
    coming to the city...
[14:41] Kerin
    If it's come to this...
    I'll use Buchitema.
[14:43] Hina
    Wait, Kerin!
[14:44] Hina
    She knows Elu-san, y'know!
[14:46] Kerin
    Elu...san?!
[14:48] Mito
    Oh, you want to see Elu-san?
[14:50] Kerin
    I can... see her?
[14:52] Mito
    I see. This might actually be good medicine
    to cure your sorry state of affairs.
[14:56] Mito
    Tanaka, Hina-san, could the two
    of you lend me your strength?
[14:59] Mito
    We'll call Elu-san here!
[15:01] Hime
    We're going to use that
    ultimate spell, right!
[15:03] Hina
    Okay! You got it!
[15:05] Mito
    To our elf, who art in Heaven.
[15:07] Mito
    By your blessing, let our foolish comrade
    who has fallen to evil be saved.
[15:12] Hime & Hina
    Super Ultimate Mega Summoning,
     Elu-Elu Essaim!
[15:16] Hime & Hina
    Hao!
[15:22] Elu
    Chomp, chomp, chomp...
[15:23] Elu
    I was eating dinner.
[15:25] Elu
    Hi everybody, Elu here!
[15:28] Hime
    Did we interrupt a meal?
[15:30] Kerin
    Elu-san!
[15:31] Kerin
    So big!
[15:32] Kerin
    A giant Elu-san!
[15:34] Mito
    Elu-san, sorry to trouble
    you during your dinner,
[15:36] Mito
    but could you purify this fellow?
[15:38] Elu
    Well, my food's gonna get cold!
[15:41] Elu
    But leave it to Elu!
[15:43] Hina
    She's so mellow!
[15:44] Kerin
    P-Purify?! Don't be ridiculous!
[15:47] Kerin
    I've become a part of this city.
    My heart's been stained black.
[15:50] Elu
    Kerin-san! I'm gonna blow you away!
[15:54] Elu
    Ultimate purifying magic, Mesareru!
[16:00] Kerin
    A warm light...
[16:01] Elu
    It's okay now. I'm sure you're tired.
[16:04] Elu
    You tried your best!
[16:06] Elu
    Munch, munch, munch...
[16:07] Mito
    Elu-san, please focus on the purification!
[16:12] Elu
    Anyway, hurry up and be purified!
[16:14] Kerin
    Elu-san—!
[16:20] Kerin
    No! Not there—!
[16:24] Hina
    Kerin vanished!
[16:25] Elu
    I sent him to Heaven!
[16:27] Elu
    Now if you don't mind,
    I'm getting back to dinner!
[16:30] Elu
    Bye-bye!
[16:31] Mito
    That about does it, I'd say.
[16:33] Hina
    Gotta say, the city can be a scary place.
[16:35] Mito
    Indeed.
[16:36] Mito
    But since we're all here, Tanaka, Hina-san,
[16:40] Mito
    why don't we try one of
    those champagne towers?
[16:42] Hime
    Sounds good!
[16:44] Hime
    I wanna stack the glasses!
[16:46] Hina
    Mito-chan, you've got a chant, right?
[16:48] Mito
    You wanna hear it? Do you?
    You ready? Should I?
[16:49] Mito
    Ready, set, go!
[16:52] Mito
    Even in a world that's purely virtual!
[16:55] Mito
    Your love is real!
[16:57] Mito
    And right now, right here, we'll prove it!
[16:59] Mito
    Real money doesn't lie! One order
    of Buchichamp de'Oom, coming up!
[17:03] Hime & Hina
    Thank you very much!
[17:07] Kerin
    Elu-san, I'm on my way!
SIGN    Kerin Slayer
SIGN    The End
SIGN    Sister!
[17:18] Uma
    Sister, please hear me out.
[17:20] Sister
    What is it, dear horse?
[17:22] Uma
    Well, you see...
[17:25] Uma
    Is this happening? I can do it!
[17:27] Uma
    Please, listen, sister!
[17:28] Sister
    What is it?
[17:30] Uma
    I... I...
[17:32] Uma
    Huh?
[17:33] Sister
    What's the matter?
[17:35] Uma
    After being knocked aside 11 times,
    I've forgotten my confession.
[17:39] Sister
    Oh, dear.
[17:40] Sora
    I'm gonna blow him away!
[17:42] Uma
    My inability to confess when the time is
    right is almost like my own coughbtl—
[17:52] Sora
    Listen, sister!
[17:53] Sister
    What is it?
[17:54] Sora
    I need some advice on something.
[17:56] Sister
    How can I help?
[17:58] Sora
    I can't think of anything else to confess!
[18:00] Uma
    Then what are you doing here?!
[18:01] Sister
    Is that it?
[18:03] Sister
    If nothing weighs upon your conscience,
     that is a good thing.
[18:07] Sora
    But if I've got nothing to confess,
    I can't come and see you.
[18:11] Sister
    I am always here, so you can
    come and see me when you like.
[18:15] Sora
    Thank you, sister!
[18:18] Sister
    May you be virtually blessed.
[18:20] Uma
    I remember! I remembered
    my confession! Sister—!
SIGN    Sister!
[18:29] Mito
    Virtual-san is looking.
[18:41] Akari
    Himehina! Whatcha doing?
[18:43] Hime
    Everyone! Hao!
[18:45] Akari
    Hello!
[18:46] Shiro
    Sup, supo!
[18:46] Hinata
    Hi!
[18:46] Mito
    Good day.
[18:48] Hina
    Since the weather's nice,
    we were doing dance practice.
[18:51] Mito
    I see. What an energetic finale it'll be!
[18:53] Hinata
    Already the last episode, huh?
     It's been fun.
[18:57] Shiro
    I know, we should thank everyone
    who stuck around to the end!
[19:02] Everyone
    Good idea!
[19:03] Mito
    Well said, Siro-san!
[19:08] Akari
    To everybody who watched these three months!
[19:11] Akari
    Thank you very much!
[19:13] Shiro
    We're really grateful for all the
    messages of support we received!
[19:17] Hime
    It'd be great if even more Virtual-sans
    could be in anime in the future!
[19:22] Hina
    You can look forward to seeing the evolution
    of virtual anime from here on out!
[19:26] Hinata
    And this is farewell until we meet again.
[19:30] Mito
    And this message goes out to you,
     who might be lonely!
[19:32] Mito
    Here we go.
[19:33] Mito
    It's okay!
[21:16] Akari
    Here we go!
[21:17] Akari
    "The Walking Free Directory!"
[21:19] Hina
    Can I bring you home with me tonight?
[21:22] Shiro
    Okey-dokey!
[21:23] Shiro
    Sharpening a knife...
[21:24] Hina
    Who you supposed to be?
[21:26] Hina
    Winter, for you, hot water for stew!
[21:28] Hinata
    I wouldn't say that!
[21:30] Mito
    The latest and greatest...
[21:32] Mito
    Transcendentally—
[22:58] Akari
    Ready, and...
[22:59] Akari
    Virtual-san is looking!