E1 - Untitled

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Uma
    This is Virtual Town.
[00:04] Uma
    I'm Uma.
[00:06] Uma
    A humanoid horse.
[00:07] Uma
    Or maybe an equine human?
[00:08] Uma
    Either way, I'm a horse that talks a lot.
[00:11] Uma
    In this virtual world, there are
    lots of special people like me.
[00:15] Uma
    For example, there's a
    peanut that talks a lot,
[00:17] Uma
    a guy who pretends to be a beautiful girl,
[00:19] Uma
    and this dude who's always
    shooting off missiles.
[00:20] Uma
    Grandmas, gorillas, raccoon dog
    ninjas, Hello **** and a st****—
[00:24] Uma
    Actually, I had better leave it at
    that, before we get in trouble.
[00:28] Uma
    Yep!
[00:30] Uma
    And right now, passing in
    front of us, is Mirai Akari.
SIGN    Mirai Akari
[00:34] Uma
    She's a sexy, upbeat older girl who's
    constantly sexually harassing her juniors.
[00:38] Akari
    Puberty, yeah!
[00:41] Uma
    This is Cyber Girl Siro.
SIGN    Cyber Girl Siro
[00:43] Uma
    She is not the crazy psychopathic
    combat AI, Siro Iruka.
[00:47] Uma
    An intensely cute, classy idol.
[00:50] Siro
    Oh boy, fresh prey!
[00:54] Narration
    The girl with the strange walk is the
    red half of HIMEHINA, Tanaka Hime.
SIGN    Tanaka Hime
[00:58] Narration
    A chortling girl who never stops talking.
[01:00] Hime
    Time for the rumbly crab shuffle!
[01:05] Uma
    On her tail is the girl with the
    slightly sexy exposed midriff...
SIGN    Suzuki Hina
[01:09] Uma
    The blue half of HIMEHINA, Suzuki Hina.
[01:12] Hina
    Hime! You're flashing your panties!
     Cover that up!
[01:14] ---
    There's broadcast standards!
[01:16] Hinata
    Ow...
[01:17] Uma
    The one who just fell right now is
    the low-energy tomboy, Nekomiya Hinata.
SIGN    Nekomiya Hinata
[01:21] Uma
    She has first rate skill at shooters,
    but her tank top is super loose.
[01:26] Hinata
    That really hurt... but I've
    got video games waiting for me.
[01:31] Uma
    Last up is the class president
     with long, black hair, Tsukino Mito.
SIGN    Tsukino Mito
[01:34] Uma
    She often tries to show her
    superiority to all of Virtual Town,
[01:38] Uma
    but unfortunately, she's a total small fry.
[01:39] Mito
    Now, everyone, you mustn't run like that.
[01:41] Mito
    You must elegantly walk like I do,
    with your knees knocked. Like this!
[01:47] Uma
    Looks like it's going to be another
    fun day in the virtual world today!
[01:51] Uma
    Yep!
[01:56] Akari
    Okay girls, gather around!
SIGN    Fiberoptic Virtual Student Dorm
[01:58] Akari
    Meeting time!
[01:59] Akari
    We've got a meeting!
[02:00] Hinata
    A meeting?
[02:02] Hime
    What kind of meeting?
     Where we show off our underwear?
[02:04] Akari
    No, Tanaka!
[02:05] Shiro
    I know! I bet it's a meeting where
    Akari-chan shares her lust with all of us!
[02:10] Hime
    That's great!
[02:12] Akari & Hina
    Would that be great?
[02:13] Mito
    It's true that in the virtual world I am
    treated as the classiest of the classy,
[02:16] Mito
    in respect for my overwhelming classiness,
[02:19] Mito
    but if by interacting with
    the incarnation of libido
[02:21] ---
    that is Akari-san, I can develop more...
[02:22] Mito
    Then I can hardly see how a love scene
    or two wouldn't be worth the cost—
[02:25] Hime
    It's true that in the virtual world,
    I am treated as the leggiest of the leggy,
[02:28] ---
    in respect for my overwhelming legginess,
[02:31] Hime
    so interacting with the incarnation of libido
     that is Akari-san isn't the worst thing.
[02:34] Shiro
    It's true that in the virtual world
    I am treated as the queen of killers,
[02:37] ---
    in respect for my overwhelming
    skill at murder—
[02:39] Akari
    Oh, never mind, then!
[02:41] Akari
    Look, I get it, everybody,
    but let's calm down.
[02:43] Akari
    Because I actually have a huge announcement!
[02:46] Akari
    It turns out that we're...
[02:48] Shiro
    Oh, is this about the anime?
[02:49] Hina
    Oh, I heard about that.
[02:51] Hinata
    Akari-chan, you're lagging real bad.
[02:52] Hime
    Seriously, we're already on the air.
    See, the camera's over there, right?
[02:55] Mito
    Hello, everyone! Are you watching?
[02:56] Hina
    Hey, I think it's almost time!
[02:58] Shiro
    Oh, already?
[02:59] Shiro
    Gather around, gather around!
[03:00] Hime
    Go, go!
[03:01] Girls
    Okay, okay, okay!
[03:02] Girls
    Hang on, hang on!
[03:04] Shiro
    Okay, here we go!
[03:05] Shiro
    Ready and...
[03:07] All
    Virtual-san is looking!
[04:52] Akari
    V-V-V-V...
[04:54] Akari
    Virtual-san is looking!
[05:08] Haruto
    It is a time of inter-galactic
    war in the virtual world.
[05:11] Haruto
    We will invade other virtual nations,
[05:13] Haruto
    and in time, unify the galaxy...
[05:14] Haruto
    Under our Game Club Empire!
[05:17] Miria
    Shut it, Harutrash!
[05:18] Miria
    Or do you want to go out the airlock?
[05:19] Haruto
    Do you want me to kill you, pink fool?
[05:21] Chief
    Okay you two, no fighting!
[05:23] Ryo
    Chief, are we really going to try and
    conquer the galaxy like Haru-kun says?
[05:27] Chief
    Yep! We have to improve our ratings
    in different virtual nations
[05:30] ---
    so that we can rise to the top!
[05:32] Ryo
    Wow, ratings still apply here?
[05:33] Miria
    Hey Kaede-chan, I came up with a plan!
[05:36] Chief
    Well, what is it? Tell me!
[05:37] Miria
    I call it "The Titanic Game
    Club Conquers the Galaxy!"
SIGN    The Titanic Game Club
     Conquers the Galaxy
[05:41] Ryo
    It's the direct approach where we become
    titans who overwhelm our enemies, right?
[05:45] Haruto
    I see you understand something, pink fool!
[05:47] Haruto
    Power is everything!
[05:48] Haruto
    With enough power,
     your enemies will never outdo you!
[05:51] Chief
    How do we become titans, though?
[05:52] Miria
    I found out the other day!
[05:54] Miria
    Apparently in space, if you bite your
    own thumb, you can turn into a titan!
[05:59] Haruto
    To think it was so simple!
[06:01] Haruto
    Then let's begin!
[06:04] Haruto
    I actually grew!
[06:06] Chief
    I'll do it, too!
[06:09] Ryo
    I wonder if it'll work for me!
[06:11] Ryo
    I grew!
[06:12] Miria
    You all did it!
[06:14] Miria
    I had better go, too!
[06:15] Voice
    Congratulations to you.
[06:16] Miria
    Right, this is how it worked last time.
[06:18] Chief
    Looks like we're all set to go.
[06:20] Chief
    Time to invade some enemy nations!
[06:22] Narration
    Thank you for riding with us.
[06:22] Haruto
    What?!
[06:23] Haruto
    Something's happening to my body...
[06:25] Chief
    Huh? Why'd you all shrink?
[06:27] Chief
    Is this treachery?!
[06:28] Miria
    That's weird. I think it must be hereditary.
[06:31] Miria
    You have good genetics, Kaede-chan!
[06:33] Chief
    How could you all be so mean
    and leave me like this?!
[06:36] Miria
    Kaede-chan!
[06:37] Voice
    Congratulations to you.
[06:38] Ryo
    Miria-chan!
[06:39] Haruto
    Pink fool!
[06:41] Chief
    I don't want to be stuck like this!
     I want to turn back!
[06:45] Ryo
    Chief, wait a second—
[06:46] Voice
    Congratulations to you.
[06:48] Haruto
    Impossible... To obliterate
    us after a mere two blows...
[06:51] Haruto
    Ch-Chief, calm down for a second.
[06:53] Chief
    They're all gone... You want to
    be with them, don't you, Haruto?
[06:56] Haruto
    S-Stop, please! Stay away, no!
[06:59] Voice
    Happy New Year.
[07:02] Chief
    Everybody's gone...
[07:03] Chief
    The road to the Game Club's
    conquest is still a long one.
[07:13] All
    Virtual Grandmother!
[07:17] Granny
    Ryugen Higo.
SIGN    Grandma
SIGN    Ryugen
     Higo
[07:19] Granny
    It's a term for baseless rumors.
[07:22] Granny
    It naturally refers to rumors that are
    being spread that have no basis in reality.
SIGN    Grandma
[07:30] Granny
    In 1973, there was a toilet paper panic.
SIGN    Grandma
SIGN    Ryugen Higo
[07:35] Granny
    Because of the oil shock at the time,
[07:37] ---
    the government announced there
    would be paper rationing.
[07:42] Granny
    And because of that, people started to
    fear they would run out of toilet paper,
SIGN    Grandma
[07:46] ---
    and as a result began
    buying it up excessively.
[07:51] Granny
    At the time, I...
[07:54] ---
    had just turned twenty, I think.
SIGN    Grandma
[07:59] Granny
    You'd go to the bathroom in a department
    store or use a public bathroom,
[08:02] ---
    and there'd be no toilet paper!
[08:05] Granny
    Can you imagine the kind of shock that'd be?
[08:08] Granny
    If you went to a public restroom,
[08:11] ---
    your only choice would be to
    pray-per for paper! Get it?
SIGN    "Pray-per for Paper"
[08:14] Granny
    Prayer for a square, if you would.
SIGN    Grandma
SIGN    Ryugen Higo
[08:27] Mito
    What is with you?! It's not like virtual-san
    is looking all the time, y'know!
SIGN    This segment is called
     Let's Go! To Class
[08:35] Akari
    I wish spring vacation
    would get here already.
[08:40] Hime
    We just got done with winter vacation!
    In a rush much?
[08:43] Shiro
    But you always tend to wonder when the next
    vacation is after you finish one, don't you?
[08:48] Akari
    I know what you mean!
    Even if you got plenty of rest!
[08:51] Akari
    You still end up wondering
    when the next one is.
[08:54] Hinata
    It's so easy to start slacking
    off during vacation, too.
[08:57] Hina
    I'm pretty sure you're always
    slacking off, Hinata-chan.
[08:59] Hinata
    You're wrong, Hina-chan.
[09:01] Hinata
    I'm just practicing for
    video games in my head.
[09:03] Mito
    Well, during vacation I continue
    my proper, disciplined lifestyle,
[09:07] ---
    so I never notice much of a change.
[09:08] Hime
    The classy life?
[09:10] Mito
    Precisely.
[09:10] Shiro
    Ah, the sound of class.
[09:12] Akari
    That's impressive! Erotic, even!
[09:14] Mito
    I-Is it?
[09:15] Mito
    I think it's quite normal.
[09:19] Hinata
    What? What was that?
[09:21] Akari
    What was that shaking?!
    And is it suddenly hot—
[09:25] Shiro
    Hey, look outside!
[09:26] Shiro
    Is that a volcano?
[09:27] Hinata
    It's so hot!
[09:29] Hinata
    I hate the heat. Can't stand it...
[09:33] Hime
    Why's there a volcano outside the classroom?!
[09:35] Hime
    The heat's gonna kill us! We better evacuate!
[09:38] Hina
    Where do we evacuate?
    There's lava everywhere outside!
[09:41] Hina
    If we leave the building, we're dead!
[09:43] Akari
    What should we do?
[09:46] Akari
    Huh? Class Prez?
[09:48] Akari
    Do you realize what's going on?!
[09:50] Mito
    This is nothing remarkable.
    It's no different than every day life.
[09:53] Hime
    Uh, no, it's not!
    There usually aren't volcanoes!
[09:55] Mito
    What are a few volcanoes?
[09:57] Mito
    If you watch movies, there are
    bound to be volcanoes showing up.
[09:59] Hinata
    So hot! Dying!
[10:01] Mito
    It's totally normal, if you
    think of it as a sauna.
[10:04] Hina
    The volcano's erupting!
[10:05] Mito
    Well, of course a volcano would erupt!
[10:07] Mito
    Honestly, you're all
    making far too much fuss.
[10:09] Mito
    Just think of this as our usual classroom.
[10:12] Akari
    Okay. The usual classroom...
[10:15] Akari
    Hello!
[10:16] Akari
    Good morning!
[10:16] Others
    Good morning!
[10:18] Akari
    Let's do our best today again, okay?
[10:21] Akari
    Okay, this isn't working!
[10:23] Akari
    It's so hot! I'm gonna die!
[10:24] Mito
    You can't even manage that, Akari-san?
[10:26] Shiro
    Uh, hey... is that... magma headed this way?
[10:30] Mito
    That's right, Siro-san, the volcano
    exploded and the magma shot forth,
[10:34] ---
    so that's only natural.
SIGN    I'm gonna bring the heat!
[10:38] Hinata
    This is bad! If we don't do something...
[10:41] Hinata
    It's gonna hit us! We'll be killed!
[10:42] Mito
    Oh, be quiet!
[10:43] Mito
    A volcano explodes, shooting magma about,
     and it's headed right for us!
[10:47] Mito
    Of course we'd die! It's totally normal!
[10:48] Mito
    Wait, is it normal to die like that?
[10:50] Mito
    N-No, it's not!
[10:51] Mito
    No!
[10:52] Peanut
    Here it comes!
SIGN    To Be Continued
[11:05] Granny
    Grandmother is watching.
[11:10] Aoi
    One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two...
[11:12] Gori
    Hello... Hello... Hello...
[11:16] Aoi
    Gori-chan, you've got a
    spring in your step today!
[11:18] Gori
    Hello!
[11:19] Aoi
    Something good happen?
[11:20] Gori
    Hello.
[11:21] Aoi
    Did you win a lottery?
[11:22] Gori
    Hello...
[11:23] Aoi
    Did the total at checkout
    turn out to be 777 yen?
[11:26] Gori
    Hello?
[11:28] Aoi
    I know! You lost some weight, right?
[11:30] Aoi
    You seem lighter!
[11:31] Gori
    Yesterday, I was peeling a banana, right?
     Since I'm on a diet.
[11:36] Aoi
    Damn, Gori-chan, you're such a lady!
SIGN    Fuji Aoi Park
[11:40] Aoi
    Fuji Aoi!
[11:42] Gori
    Hello.
[11:43] Hime
    Big trouble, big trouble!
SIGN    Big trouble, Akari-chan!
[11:49] Hime
    Akari-chan, there's big trouble!
[11:53] Akari
    What is it, Hime?!
[11:55] Hime
    Mirai-san! We've got really big trouble!
[11:57] Akari
    What, what is it?!
[11:58] Hime
    Someone with the pen name
    "Takeru-kun" is in trouble!
[12:01] Hime
    Here, read it already!
[12:04] Akari
    "Akari-san, hello."
[12:05] Akari
    Hello.
[12:06] Akari
    "The other day, I had a
    meeting with my friend,"
[12:09] Akari
    "but I overslept and was an hour late,
     and they were furious."
[12:12] Akari
    "They haven't talked to me since.
     What should I do?"
[12:15] Hime
    Such a hot voice!
[12:17] Hime
    But y'know, people get so mad when
    you oversleep and miss stuff!
[12:20] Akari
    You've got a point there.
[12:22] Akari
    Maybe he should buy some snacks.
[12:23] Hime
    Snacks?!
SIGN    Akari MEMO
    When you oversleep, bring snacks
[12:24] Hime
    A peace offering?
[12:25] Akari
    But what kind of snacks should
    it be, what would be best?
[12:28] Hime
    Maybe bales of rice?
[12:31] Akari
    I get it! Just one bale, maybe!
[12:33] Hime
    Just one!
[12:34] Akari
    But in your case, Takeru, maybe take two.
[12:36] Hime
    Good point.
[12:38] Akari
    I get it, though.
     Takeru-kun wants to make amends.
[12:41] Hime
    Yeah, he wants to patch things up.
[12:42] Akari
    I wonder what'd be best, then?
[12:45] Hime
    Mirai-san?
[12:47] ---
    Mirai-san!
SIGN    Hikari
SIGN    Yami
[12:49] Hikari
    Oh, come on, there's only one real answer!
[12:53] Hikari
    Since it was his fault, he should apologize!
[12:56] Yami
    Who cares?
[12:58] Yami
    What are you getting so
    worked up for, Hikari?
[13:00] Hikari
    Oh, stop that! Be quiet!
[13:03] Yami
    Just ignore them.
[13:04] Hikari
    You can't!
[13:05] Hikari
    Please, don't say things
    that'll only make it worse!
[13:10] Yami
    Look, just take him to bed.
[13:12] Hikari
    You can't give up your body so freely!
[13:14] Yami
    Whatever. You handle it, then, Akari.
[13:16] Hikari
    You can do it, Akari!
[13:17] Hime
    Hello? Hello?! Mirai-san!
[13:23] Akari
    Sorry, I was thinking too hard there!
[13:25] Hime
    Well, good morning.
[13:26] Akari
    Okay, to pen name Takeru-kun!
    Here's the bottom line.
[13:30] Hime
    Is this it?! She's going
    to show her bottom! Line?
[13:33] Akari
    To make up for last time,
    you set up another meeting,
[13:36] Akari
    and then oversleep by an hour again!
[13:39] Hime
    Instead of being on time?!
[13:40] Akari
    And then, you suddenly grab your friend when
    they're about to angrily leave, from behind!
[13:43] Akari
    And be like, "I'm sorry, the sight of
    you standing there was just so lovely,
[13:46] ---
    I was totally fixated and couldn't move."
     Something like that!
[13:49] Hime
    That seems really romantic,
    but isn't it a little bold?!
SIGN    Virtual Kabuki-cho
[13:52] Hime
    Is that okay?!
[13:53] Akari
    And then, after getting worked up,
[13:55] Akari
    the two of them start ****ing and ****ing,
[13:57] Akari
    before vanishing into the lights
    of late night Kabuki-cho!
[14:00] Hime
    How lewd!
[14:01] Akari
    Ain't it though, Tanaka?
[14:03] Hime
    But it said "friend"! What if it's
    one of Takeru-kun's male friends?
[14:11] Hime
    Well, that'll do for today!
     See you next time!
[14:14] Akari
    Come again! Take care!
[14:16] Akari
    Next time, I'll actually serve
    you something to drink!
SIGN    Big Trouble!
    Akari-chan
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
    School
[14:26] Hinata
    It's almost time for a pork bowl,
[14:28] Hinata
    almost time for a pork bowl...
[14:35] Hinata
    This is bad.
[14:37] Hinata
    It's near the end of the game.
    Four survivors, including me.
[14:40] Hinata
    From the sound of gunfire, I'm sure there
    are two enemies at 1 and 11 o'clock.
[14:44] Hinata
    There's a field in the center
    of the area with good visibility.
[14:48] Hinata
    I can't find the other one, though.
[14:50] Hinata
    Is he in that house?
[14:52] Hinata
    If I waltz out into the field, I'm going
    to come under fire from three directions
[14:57] Hinata
    and that'll be the end.
[14:59] Hinata
    What do I do?
[15:00] Hinata
    I have to think up a way to win!
[15:04] Hinata
    I have to...
[15:07] Akari
    Hinata!
[15:08] Hinata
    I win!
[15:09] Akari
    What's wrong?
[15:09] Hinata
    Wait, no, not that...
[15:10] Akari
    You look really intense.
[15:12] Hinata
    A-A pork bowl!
[15:13] Hinata
    I wanted to go get a pork bowl.
[15:16] Akari
    Oh, I see.
[15:17] Akari
    Well, they are yummy, right?
[15:19] Akari
    See you!
[15:21] Hinata
    See you... yeah.
[15:24] Hinata
    Pork bowls are best for lunch.
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
     School
[15:29] Kerin
    Virtual-san is looking!
[15:31] Kerin
    Blow them away!
SIGN    Trivia
    Diner
[15:38] Shiro
    Oh, it's Tsukino Mito-chan! Welcome!
[15:41] Mito
    I am so fed up!
[15:43] Mito
    Can I get some trivia on chocolate?
[15:45] Shiro
    Sure, coming right up!
SIGN    Trivia, go!
[15:51] Shiro
    Chocolate!
[15:52] Shiro
    They say that Columbus was the first
    European to encounter chocolate.
[15:57] Shiro
    But at the time chocolate
    was just a bitter drink,
[16:00] Shiro
    so he apparently had very
    little interest in it!
[16:02] Shiro
    Chocolate's also supposed to have
    various positive health effects,
[16:04] Shiro
    with a woman who was 122 before
    passing away saying she would
[16:09] ---
    eat 900 grams of chocolate a week.
[16:12] Shiro
    One other thing, if you eat
    chocolate and gum together,
[16:14] Shiro
    the cocoa butter will melt the gum,
[16:17] Shiro
    so it's generally recommended that
    you don't have them together.
[16:22] Mito
    Wow, is that true?
[16:24] Mito
    Your trivia is always so handy, Siro-san.
SIGN    We want to see your characters!
    Check out the Virtualsan - Looking
     official website for details!
SIGN    Pen Name: Tsurumaki Kazuya
[16:32] Lala
    My name is Mikurira Lala.
[16:34] Lala
    My favorite foods are uncooked
    ham and strawberries.
[16:37] Lala
    My talents are the vaulting
    horse and singing.
[16:41] Lala
    It's nice to meet you all!
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[16:49] Mito
    Now, I wonder who it's going to be today?
[16:55] Mito
    You're Kenmochi Rikiya-san, right?
[16:56] Sword
    It's Toya!
[16:57] Mito
    Sorry, the kanji were so
    similar that I got mixed up.
[17:00] Toya
    Class Prez, what is this?
    Why did you lock me in here?
[17:02] Mito
    Silence, Kenmochi-san!
    Let's get down to business.
[17:05] Mito
    We're now going to begin the
    ultimate decision committee.
[17:08] Mito
    I wish you the best of luck in
    choosing the correct answer.
[17:10] Toya
    How bossy can you get?
[17:12] Mito
    Here is today's subject!
SIGN    Subject: which kind of on-air trouble would you choose, as a streamer?
SIGN    A) Your drunken mother interrupts a stream.
SIGN    B) The game you were streaming turns out to be BL.
[17:22] Toya
    B actually happened to you before, didn't it?
[17:24] Mito
    That's right. I thought it
    was a simple typing game,
[17:27] ---
    and then all of a sudden a very
    explicit BL scene appeared.
[17:30] Mito
    Now, with that in mind,
    which would you prefer?
[17:34] Toya
    Good question. I guess I'd pick A,
     your drunken mother interrupts a stream.
[17:38] Mito
    That one?
[17:39] Mito
    The sort of thing that used to
    happen regularly with live streams.
[17:43] Toya
    Right, and sometimes it actually
    made the stream more entertaining.
[17:45] Mito
    That kind of thing could often go viral.
[17:47] Toya
    Right.
[17:48] Mito
    And your drunken mother wouldn't be
    likely to get you banned by barging in.
[17:52] Toya
    Right. Whereas with the BL game, if it's
    explicit enough, you could get banned for it.
[17:56] Mito
    Right.
[17:57] Mito
    What could a mother do to get
    you banned, do you think?
[18:00] Toya
    Well, if she's drunk, she could
    suddenly start stripping.
[18:04] Mito
    Nobody wants to see that.
[18:06] Mito
    Oh, well, that's the bell for 3 PM,
    so it's time to announce the correct answer.
[18:09] ---
    The correct answer is B), the game you
    were streaming turns out to be BL!
[18:14] Toya
    Was there any point in even
    getting my opinion then?
[18:16] Mito
    Shut up! That's how I went viral, y'know!
[18:18] Mito
    What kinda streamer is worried
    about getting banned, anyway?!
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[18:23] Shiro
    Virtual-san is looking!
[18:26] Shiro
    Don't you look, Uma!
[18:29] Sora
    There's no stopping now!
    Virtual-san is looking!
[18:34] Kohaku
    Hey, I'm Otori Kohaku, 17 years old.
[18:39] Kohaku
    Everyone calls me Unity-chan.
[18:43] Kohaku
    As to why... aw, man!
[18:47] Kohaku
    Come on!
[18:49] Kohaku
    Stay away!
[18:51] Kohaku
    Not the bamboo spear! No, no, no!
[18:56] Kohaku
    Aw, man!
[18:59] Kohaku
    Huh?
SIGN    Unity-chan Wants to
    Roll Around
[19:02] Kohaku
    Did I just stream that?
SIGN    Kerin Slayer.
[19:07] Hina
    Hey, Hime, are there really dark
    elves in a cave like this?
[19:12] Hime
    One of the villagers said he
    saw one leaving this cave.
[19:16] Hina
    Did you ask Villager B, too?
[19:17] Hime
    B was walking into a wall,
    so I left him alone.
[19:21] Hina
    Well, it'd be dangerous if
    they were so close to an town.
[19:25] Hime
    Right, so we have to do something about it!
[19:27] Hina
    Hime, wait!
[19:29] Hina
    There it is!
[19:30] Hime
    It's a Keblin!
[19:32] Hina
    Dummy! It noticed us!
[19:34] Hime
    This is bad!
SIGN    For various reasons, we will be
     presenting this segment in still images.
     Next week, look forward
     to the full animated version.
[19:36] Hina
    This is really bad!
[19:38] Hina
    Ninnomono!
[19:40] Hime
    That was amazing, Hina-chan!
[19:41] Hime
    How'd you manage that?!
[19:42] Hina
    It kinda felt like it'd work out!
[19:44] Hina
    Look, there's another one!
[19:46] Hime
    Okay...
[19:47] Hime
    Nin! Nin!
[19:48] Hina
    You suck!
[19:50] Hime
    The Keblins are coming!
[19:51] Hina
    Let go! Quit trying to take Hime's pants off!
[19:57] Kerin
    What are you all doing?!
[19:58] Both
    Th-That voice...
[20:02] Kerin
    Time to blow it all up!
SIGN    See you next week!
SIGN    We want to see your characters!
    Check out the Virtualsan - Looking
     official website for details!
SIGN    Pen Name: Ekaki Makuru
[20:08] Cat
    It's me, your wife, Master, Ekaki Makuru.
[20:13] Cat
    I want to use my Kamieshi
    Power to care for you, Master.
[20:20] Cat
    Just kidding!
[20:23] Cat
    Bye-bye.
SIGN    Sister!
[20:35] Uma
    Please, listen, Sister.
[20:36] Sister
    What is it, dear horse?
[20:38] Uma
    There's this girl who I
    want to tell how I feel—
[20:39] Sora
    Listen, Sister!
[20:41] Sister
    What is it?
[20:45] Sora
    I did my laundry when there
    was some tissue in my pocket,
[20:47] Sora
    and my clothes ended up covered in it!
[20:49] Sora
    What should I do, Sister?!
[20:51] Sister
    At times like that, using the
    dryer or some dry fabric softener
[20:57] ---
    should make it easier to get the tissue off.
[20:58] Sora
    Really?
[21:00] Sister
    There's also the option
    of using a lint roller,
[21:03] Sister
    and on the odd side of things,
[21:04] ---
    you can use the nets that produce
    are sold in to pick it off.
[21:07] Sister
    You can try any of those ways out.
[21:09] Sora
    Okay! Thank you!
[21:11] Sister
    May you be virtually blessed.
[21:13] Uma
    Sister!
[21:19] Gori
    It's an honor. This is
    "Virtual-san is looking."
[21:23] Mito
    Now, we've got a letter to look at.
[21:25] Mito
    This is from pen name "Sleight of Hand,
    Slight of Mouth." Thanks for writing.
[21:28] Everyone
    Thank you!
[21:31] Mito
    "Good evening, everyone. You're all incredibly
     beautiful, and very popular online."
[21:35] Mito
    "But who among you is the most
    popular? Please tell me."
[21:39] Hime
    Glad to hear I'm popular!
[21:39] Mito
    Well everyone, who do you think it is?
[21:43] Hime
    Popular... Who's most popular?
[21:44] Shiro
    Well, whoever has the biggest fluffy
    melon breads is usually the most popular!
[21:46] Mito
    Oh, then who does that make number one?
[21:48] Shiro
    Well, we'd have to compare to see.
[21:51] Akari
    Okay everyone, step forward.
[21:53] Shiro
    Everybody line up.
[21:54] Hime
    Oh, no, don't look!
[21:56] Akari
    Here we go, show them off!
[21:58] Hime
    I'm young! I'm too young,
    don't make me do this!
[22:00] Hinata
    Have fun, you guys.
[22:02] Mito
    So, that settles it.
[22:05] Mito
    The most popular member among the
    six of us is Cyber Girl Siro.
[22:10] Shiro
    Wait, you were just guessing!
[22:12] Mito
    I assure you that's not the case!
[22:13] Mito
    And now the segment's over!
[22:15] Hina
    Wait, guessing what?
[22:17] Mito
    Anyway, that's it for this week!
    See you next time on...
[22:20] All
    Virtual-san is looking!
[23:10] Hiyoko
    Good morning!
[23:11] Hiyoko
    I'm the Virtual Youtuber who's getting
    a second crack at life as a young girl,
SIGN    Mochi Hiyoko
[23:14] ---
    Mochi Hiyoko.
[23:15] Hiyoko
    I'm sure you've all thought about
    wanting to be a little girl before.
[23:19] Hiyoko
    Well, there's a medicine that can make
    that dream come true... right here!
[23:21] Hiyoko
    It's a magical medicine that can turn
    you into a little girl right away!
[23:25] Hiyoko
    I bet everyone would be happy
    if we were all little girls!
[23:28] Hiyoko
    Everybody, be a little girl!
SIGN    Next Time:
    "The Legendary Secret Medicine... Oh, I Feel Hot!"
SIGN    Next week, virtual-san will still be looking!