E4 - Untitled

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Peanut
    They say that cucumbers are supposed to
    have the fewest calories of all fruits.
[00:06] Uma
    Hey, hey, hey! Then what about carrots?
[00:08] Peanut
    I'm talking about cucumbers
    right now, you horsey bastard!
[00:10] Uma
    Hey, hey!
[00:18] Shiro
    Four sixty-six! Four sixty-seven!
    Really working up a sweat!
[00:22] Hinata
    Let's all pull off a sweet
    muscle pose today! Here we go!
[00:28] All
    Virtual-san is looking!
[02:16] Kaede
    Virtual-san is looking!
[02:30] Ryo
    I'm sorry about the other day.
[02:32] Miria
    No more inventing weird stuff, Ryo-kun.
[02:36] Haruto
    Listen, people, have you seen the chief?
[02:39] Miria
    Kaede-chan?
[02:40] Miria
    She picked up a weird life reading outside
    the ship and wanted to check on it.
[02:45] Kaede
    Ow, ow, ow, ow...
[02:47] Ryo
    Chief? What's wrong?
[02:50] Kaede
    I found some strange life form
[02:51] Kaede
    where I couldn't tell if it was
     alive or dead, and it bit me...
[02:54] Haruto
    You're hurt, chief?
[02:56] Haruto
    You should get it treated!
[02:58] Kaede
    But it's not that big a wound,
     I'm sure it's...
[03:03] Miria
    Kaede-chan?
[03:05] Ryo
    Chief?
[03:06] Haruto
    What the?!
[03:07] Haruto
    Hey!
[03:08] Haruto
    Ch-chief!
[03:12] Miria
    Kaede-chan! No!
[03:14] Miria
    The neck is...
[03:17] Haruto
    The chief is eating the pink fool!
[03:21] Miria
    Harutrash...
[03:25] Haruto
    Ryo! We need to retreat!
[03:26] ---
    The chief and the pink fool
     are acting strange!
[03:29] Kaede
    Ryo-kun...
[03:31] Ryo
    Haru-kun, help me!
[03:33] Ryo
    Chief, stay away!
[03:35] Ryo
    No! I said stop...
[03:38] Haruto
    Damn it!
[03:40] Haruto
    It's a pandemic.
[03:42] Haruto
    One that might wipe out the game club!
[03:45] Miria
    Harutrash!
SIGN    Chomp
SIGN    Game Club
SIGN    Zombie Club
SIGN    Zombie Club
[03:57] Kaede
    Now we're all zombies, huh?
[04:00] Miria
    Surprising how much consciousness
    we still have.
[04:03] Ryo
    Seriously.
[04:06] Haruto
    If anything, doesn't becoming
    undead make us unstoppable?
[04:10] Ryo
    True.
[04:12] Kaede
    You all look great.
[04:17] Kaede
    Keep that camera rolling!
[04:20] Ryo
    The chief is trying to
    cash in on that movie.
[04:23] Miria
    I wanna do the Thriller dance with all of you!
[04:27] Haruto
    Good idea, pink fool.
[04:33] Kaede
    Okay, let's invade enemy
    territory while dancing!
[04:38] All
    Hoo!
[04:42] Kaede
    The Game Club's galactic conquest continues!
[04:54] Grandma
    Sunpo Nankou.
SIGN    Today's Phrase:
    Sunpo Nankou
[04:58] Grandma
    That's the phrase.
SIGN    Grandma
[05:00] Grandma
    It refers to times when you have trouble
    crossing even the smallest distance.
[05:05] Grandma
    "Having trouble crossing" might be a
    bit melodramatic, but in the old days,
[05:10] ---
    transportation wasn't as easy as it is now.
[05:12] Grandma
    Depending on the time, there would
    be detours because of road work,
[05:16] Grandma
    and all kinds of construction, and holes
    in the road as a result, everywhere.
[05:22] Grandma
    But when it comes to walking,
    the thing that shocked me the most
[05:26] ---
    when I moved to Tokyo in 1964,
    were women in high heels.
[05:31] Grandma
    The roads were in better shape than
    they were in the country, to be sure,
SIGN    Grandma
[05:35] Grandma
    but in my home, Niigata, heavy duty
    construction hadn't started yet,
[05:40] ---
    making it hard to get anywhere.
[05:42] Grandma
    So when I moved to Tokyo with that mindset,
     and saw women in high heels,
[05:48] ---
    I could only think,
    "How can they walk like that?"
[05:51] Grandma
    That said, your Virtual Grandmother can
    freely travel, no matter how old she gets.
[05:59] Grandma
    Just like this!
[06:06] Grandma
    I can get great air, too, in fact.
[06:08] Grandma
    Three, two, one, blast off!
[06:13] Grandma
    Fly, Sachiko!
SIGN    Grandma
[06:26] Hime
    Virtual-san is looking!
[06:35] Hinata
    Man, I thought we were done for!
[06:38] Hinata
    It sure is great to be alive!
[06:40] Hina
    Hey, hey, did any of you see that special
    feature on animals that was on TV yesterday?
[06:45] Akari
    I totally did! The chimpanzee
    segment was so cute!
[06:49] Shiro
    I liked the one on kitties!
[06:53] Hina
    I think I liked the penguins best!
[06:55] Hina
    I know, why don't we all
    go to the zoo some day?
[06:58] Everyone
    Sounds good!
[07:05] Hinata
    That scared me! What was that shaking?
[07:10] Hime
    Hang on...
[07:12] Hime
    Isn't it really quiet?
[07:14] Hime
    I don't hear a single thing from outside!
[07:17] Shiro
    You're right! No wind
    from the outside, either!
[07:21] Mito
    Could it be...?
[07:23] Mito
    Everyone, are we at—?!
[07:27] Everyone
    The bottom of the sea!
[07:29] Shiro
    Why would we be at the bottom of the sea?!
[07:32] Hime
    But if you think about it, we've got air,
    and the classroom's power is still on.
[07:36] Hime
    I don't think we need to panic.
[07:38] Hime
    Things will probably go
    back to normal in a while.
[07:41] Mito
    Good point! Let's just wait for the
    classroom to return to normal, then.
[07:46] Shiro
    Still, I didn't know it
    was like this down here.
[07:49] Shiro
    You can't dive this far down,
    so it's kind of interesting.
[07:54] Akari
    Hey, a penguin!
[07:56] Hina
    A penguin?! Where, where, where?!
[07:59] Hina
    Hey, you're right! So cute!
[08:03] Hinata
    It's cute, but...
[08:05] Hinata
    Deep sea penguins sure are huge, huh?
[08:09] Mito
    Uh... I think... it's way too big!
[08:14] Hime
    It's opening its beak!
[08:16] Peanut
    Here I come!
[08:19] Akari
    You again?!
[08:22] Hime
    Hina, you love penguins!
    Do something about this! Quick!
[08:27] Hina
    I don't like my penguins this big!
[08:31] Hina
    It's gonna eat us!
SIGN    To Be Continued
[08:43] Hina
    Thank you for calling.
    This is "Virtual-san is looking."
[08:50] Aoi
    That'll do it.
[08:52] Aoi
    When Gori-chan goes for that banana,
    I'll pull the string, and I'll catch him.
[08:56] Aoi
    This'll be great!
[08:59] Gori
    Yo, yo, my name is Gorilla!
[09:02] Gori
    When it comes to the jungle,
    there's no one iller!
[09:03] Gori
    Solid gold content with no filler!
[09:05] Gori
    Gonna open to door to another thriller!
[09:12] Gori
    Hello.
[09:13] Aoi
    So he can shrink and grow at will.
[09:14] Aoi
    Fuji Aoi!
SIGN    Fuji Aoi Park
[09:16] Gori
    Hello.
[09:19] Hime
    Big trouble, big trouble!
SIGN    Big trouble Akari-chan!
[09:25] Hime
    Akari-chan, there's big trouble!
[09:30] Akari
    What is it, Hime?
[09:32] Hime
    Someone with the pen-name
    "Yumirin-chan" is in trouble!
[09:35] Hime
    Here, read this!
[09:37] Akari
    Let's take a look.
[09:39] Akari
    "Hello, Akari-san." Hello.
[09:40] Hime
    H'lo.
[09:42] Akari
    "I'm thinking about quitting my job."
[09:45] Akari
    Wow, really?
[09:46] Akari
    "My bosses treat me bad, I have to work a ton
     of overtime, and every day is really hard."
[09:49] Hime
    Oh, wow...
[09:50] Akari
    "But I feel like quitting would be
    like giving up. What should I do?"
[09:53] Hime
    Man, this is serious!
SIGN    Problem: Whether or not to quit your job
SIGN    
[09:58] Akari
    What should she do?
[09:59] Hime
    Yeah, good question...
[10:01] Hime
    Mirai-san?
[10:02] Hime
    Mirai-san!
SIGN    Hikari
SIGN    Yami
[10:05] Hikari
    I think she should quit.
[10:07] Hikari
    If she stresses herself until she's sick,
    it'd defeat the point of having a job, right?
[10:10] Yami
    But just quitting is dull.
[10:12] Yami
    Let's get some revenge.
[10:14] Hikari
    Revenge?!
[10:14] Yami
    Sneak a secret photo into a desk.
[10:17] Hikari
    I've heard about this before.
[10:18] Yami
    Or have Chono-san slap somebody.
[10:20] Hikari
    Oh, I know this show!
[10:22] Yami
    The rest... I leave to you, Akari.
[10:25] Yami
    Seeya.
[10:26] Hikari
    Take it from here, Akari!
[10:28] Hime
    Hello?
[10:29] Hime
    Hello!
[10:30] Hime
    Mirai-san?!
[10:32] Akari
    Sorry, I was in a world of my own!
[10:35] Hime
    Good morning.
[10:36] Akari
    Okay, pen-name Yumirin-chan,
    I'll get to the bottom line!
[10:41] Hime
    Is she going to get to it?
    Her bottom... line?
[10:45] Akari
    You should get a new job at a company
    that supports a matchmaking app!
[10:49] Hime
    A new job?
[10:51] Akari
    Then you should find a girl
    that your old boss would like!
[10:54] Hime
    What for?!
[10:56] Akari
    Then you hire a detective!
[10:59] Hime
    But why? Why?!
[11:00] Akari
    You have the detective shadow them,
    after matching the boss and the girl.
[11:05] Akari
    Then you have the detective
    take pictures of them together,
[11:09] ---
    and send some scandalous pictures
    to your old boss's family!
[11:13] Hime
    That's scary!
[11:15] Akari
    That way you can get a new
    job and get revenge, too!
[11:19] Hime
    Akari-chan, you're a genius!
[11:21] Akari
    I sure am!
[11:22] Hime
    Wow!
[11:23] Hime
    But y'know, if you make that
    match, and they get together,
[11:26] Hime
    wouldn't he be really glad about
    finding a cute young girl?
[11:30] Akari
    True.
[11:31] Akari
    If that happens, then you call up Chono-san.
[11:35] Hime
    Got it!
[11:36] Hime
    Okay, I'm gonna go grab him, then!
[11:39] Akari
    Uh, wait a sec, Tanaka...
[11:40] Akari
    That's not the first step!
SIGN    Big Trouble!
    Akari-chan
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
    School
[11:47] Hinata
    This lot is pretty big.
[11:52] Hinata
    Up we go.
[11:57] Hinata
    This is bad.
[11:59] Hinata
    This place is surrounded by buildings.
[12:02] Hinata
    If I was surrounded by people in the building
     behind me, along with the ones in front,
[12:05] Hinata
    on top of enemies blocking
    the street, what would I do?
[12:10] Hinata
    I mustn't run away.
[12:11] Hinata
    I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away,
    I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away!
[12:15] Hinata
    No matter how tough the situation,
    I will find a way to survive!
[12:18] Hinata
    Now I wanna play some video games, though.
[12:23] Hinata
    Okay, I'll skip school and head home.
[12:28] Akari
    Hinata...
[12:29] Hinata
    Whoa, Akari-cha! What are you doing there?!
[12:30] Akari
    You shouldn't play hooky.
[12:33] Akari
    This pipe is my territory!
[12:35] Hinata
    What?! You think I can't splat over it?!
[12:39] Akari
    Come on, off to school.
[12:41] Hinata
    Hang on!
SIGN    Hinata-chan Heads to
     School
[12:50] Hinata
    Yay! Virtual-san is looking!
SIGN    Trivia
    Diner
[12:58] Shiro
    Oh, it's Aoi-chan! Welcome!
[13:02] Aoi
    I am so fed up!
[13:04] Aoi
    Can I get some trivia about candy, please?
[13:06] Shiro
    Sure, coming right up!
SIGN    Trivia, go!
[13:12] Shiro
    Ah, candy...
SIGN    "Candy"
[13:16] Shiro
    Y'know, there's a candy that was invented
    in Germany for the dental health of kids!
[13:22] Shiro
    In 1920, Germany had fewer foods
    that required heavy duty chewing,
[13:28] Shiro
    which was causing a lot of children
    to develop dental problems.
[13:30] Shiro
    And so, something was created in order
    to force children to chew harder
[13:34] ---
    in order to prevent dental problems: gummies!
[13:38] ---
    The name comes from the
    German word for rubber.
[13:41] ---
    By the way, if you give
    someone gummies on white day,
[13:44] ---
    it carries the message of, "I don't
    like you," so keep that in mind!
[13:52] Aoi
    Wow, really? Your trivia really
    is always handy, Siro-chan!
SIGN    Special Announcement
SIGN    The Sudden Appearance of a City
SIGN    Overflowing with crowds
SIGN    Giant Growth
SIGN    Transformation
SIGN    The secrets of the opening are about to be revealed!?
SIGN    Coming Soon!!
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[14:21] Mito
    I've got a bad feeling about this.
[14:23] Mito
    Like I shouldn't open this door.
[14:29] Mito
    Shut up! Mugi-chan, calm down!
[14:31] Mito
    Keep that decibel level down!
[14:32] Mugi
    Well, I was scared on my own,
[14:34] Mugi
    and when the door suddenly opened,
     I was scared!
[14:36] Mito
    I guess I scared you, and I'm sorry.
[14:38] Mito
    But this is the ultimate decision committee,
[14:40] Mito
    so are you ready to to go?
[14:42] Mugi
    Yes!
[14:42] Mito
    Here is today's subject.
[14:44] Mito
    If you could only eat one thing,
     would it be a) meat or b) grass?
[14:48] Mugi
    Grass was something you ate before, right?
[14:51] Mito
    When I was in elementary school, I had
    a a bit too much curiosity, so yes,
[14:54] Mito
    but I have it under control now, thank you.
[14:56] Mito
    So, which is it, Mugi-chan?
[14:57] Mugi
    I think I'd pick meat.
[15:01] Mugi
    I want to live a long time,
    and did you know this?
[15:04] Mito
    Yes?
[15:05] Mugi
    Setouchi Jakucho-san eats 800 grams of meat
    a day, and she's ninety-five years old!
[15:11] Mito
    True enough, she's living proof.
[15:13] Mugi
    Yep, that's right!
[15:14] Mito
    But Mugi-chan, you've never
    eaten grass before, right?
[15:17] Mugi
    Well, that's true.
[15:19] Mito
    It's important to try new things!
[15:21] Mito
    You shut-ins are just a little
    too set in your ways, I suppose.
[15:25] Mugi
    I am not!
[15:26] Mito
    That's the bell for 3 PM!
[15:27] Mito
    Well, I honestly wasn't sure at first
    this time, but ultimately it has to be B!
[15:31] Mugi
    But grass doesn't taste good!
[15:34] Mito
    You want to eat some meat?
[15:35] Mugi
    I wanna eat meat!
[15:36] Mito
    You do realize everyone's
    onto those crocodile tears?
[15:39] Mugi
    But everyone is so nice to me when I do it!
[15:41] Mito
    Why, you little...
[15:42] Mito
    Well, I recommend you all try
    eating the grass around your home!
[15:45] Mito
    It'll open a whole new world for you!
SIGN    It's 3 PM,
    Class President.
[15:51] Rin
    Virtual-san is looking!
SIGN    Unity-chan Wants to
    Roll Around
[15:54] Unity
    Unity-chan!
[15:57] Unity
    Hi, everybody, it's Ootori Kohaku!
[15:59] Unity
    Today I've got something good to show you!
[16:02] Unity
    This is a big warehouse that my
    papa gave me that's on the wharf,
[16:05] Unity
    and it's where I hang out!
[16:07] Unity
    It's got a bunch of stuff I've collected!
[16:10] Unity
    Like this thing, and that thing...
[16:13] Unity
    And this here, and I like this one!
[16:14] Unity
    Then there's this! Oof!
[16:19] Unity
    Impressive, right?
[16:22] Unity
    And yet, somehow...
SIGN    Everyone's
    Virtual-san
SIGN    We want to see your characters!
    Check out the Virtualsan - Looking
     official website for details!
SIGN    Pen Name: Ruruno Ruru
SIGN    Pen Name: Saotome Miko
SIGN    Pen Name: Suzuki Miyano
SIGN    Pen Name: Nadasaki Tooru
SIGN    Pen Name: Sanpi
SIGN    Pen Name: Kishi Tsurone
SIGN    Pen Name: High Neck Wolf
SIGN    Pen Name: Shinonome Kizuna
SIGN    Pen Name: Vortex
SIGN    Pen Name: Maron
SIGN    Previously on Kerin Slayer.
[16:46] Kerin
    Elu-san!
[16:51] Gori
    Hello.
SIGN    Kerin Slayer.
[16:56] Kerin
    Why?!
[16:58] Hime
    It's a gorilla! So cute!
[17:00] Gori
    Hello.
[17:00] Hina
    So Elu-san's a gorilla now?
[17:03] Kerin
    Don't be ridiculous.
[17:04] Kerin
    She... My Elu-san...
[17:06] Kerin
    She'd never be so hairy!
[17:08] Gori
    Good elfning!
[17:09] Gori
    I'm here from the land of elves!
    I'm the high-minded elven beauty, Elu!
[17:14] Gori
    Hello!
SIGN    Cut that out!
[17:16] Kerin
    Keblins, get this gorilla scum out of here!
[17:21] Gori
    What are you doing?! I haven't
    had enough screen time!
[17:23] Hime
    Wait!
[17:24] Hime
    Let poor Gori say something!
[17:26] Kerin
    What is it, gorilla?
[17:30] Gori
    The thing about bananas is...
[17:31] Gori
    People think they grow on trees, right?
     But they're actually grass.
SIGN    This is grass
[17:35] Gori
    And did you know that they're
    not fruits, but vegetables?
[17:43] Hime & Hina
    Get that liar out of here!
[17:44] Gori
    Hello!
[17:46] Kerin
    Damn it! I can't believe that
    nuisance got in the way.
[17:49] Kerin
    I was gonna save Elu-san,
[17:51] Kerin
    make her fall for me,
[17:53] Kerin
    destroy the world,
[17:54] Kerin
    and create a paradise for the two
    of us, and now the plan's ruined!
[17:57] Hime
    So you were up to no good
    after all, you goofy goober!
[18:02] Kerin
    You are the one who's a goofy goober!
[18:04] Kerin
    Go forth, Keblins!
[18:05] Hina
    Hao!
[18:07] Hime
    Hao Hao!
[18:09] Hime
    There's no end to them!
[18:11] Hime
    Hina, look out!
[18:14] Hina
    S-Stop it! My bellybutton...
    Don't play with it!
[18:18] Kerin
    You two are done for! I'll blow you both up!
[18:21] Hime
    This is bad!
[18:22] Kerin
    Super Maximum Magic, Buchitoga!
[18:28] Hina
    Hime, this is bad! That's the high
    level version of Buchitova, Buchitoga!
[18:32] Hime
    Boy, that naming convention sounds familiar!
[18:35] Hime
    What do we do?!
[18:37] Hina
    I didn't want to use this, but...
[18:40] Hina
    Time for the maximum
    defensive magic, Gorillaga!
[18:47] Gori
    Hello!
[18:48] Gori
    Hello.
[18:50] Kerin
    Damn it! This stupid gorilla
    keeps getting in my way!
[18:55] Kerin
    This isn't over!
[19:00] Hina
    He was really tough.
[19:02] Hime
    Yeah!
[19:03] Hime
    Hey, Hina-chan, want to
    grab some banana shakes?
[19:06] Hina
    Sounds nice!
[19:07] Hina
    Y'know, bananas are vegetables!
[19:10] Hime
    Hello! Bananas! Hello!
[19:12] Hime
    So cute!
SIGN    Sister!
[19:22] Uma
    I hope you can finally hear
     me out this time, Sister.
[19:24] Sister
    What is it, dear horse?
[19:26] Uma
    There's this girl I want to—
[19:27] Sora
    Listen, Sister!
[19:33] Sister
    What is it?
[19:35] Sora
    A friend of mine borrowed a book
    and hasn't returned it yet!
[19:37] Sora
    It's hard to ask for it back,
    so what should I do?
[19:41] Sister
    Why not tell them that another
    friend wants to borrow it?
[19:46] Sora
    I actually tried that, but they
    just apologized and brushed it off.
[19:51] Sister
    I would try writing a letter, then.
[19:54] Sora
    Do you really think someone who'd
    brush it off would even read it?
[19:57] Sister
    Not for them, but for their parents.
[20:00] Sora
    Going to the parents?!
[20:01] Sister
    They will then speak to your friend.
[20:04] Sister
    That should get them to pay
    attention and return your book.
[20:07] Sora
    Okay, I better go buy some stationery!
[20:12] Sister
    May you be virtually blessed.
[20:14] Uma
    I'm the one who borrowed it, Sister!
SIGN    Sister!
[20:20] Uma
    Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
    Virtual-san is looking! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[20:26] Everyone
    Okay, we've got a letter here.
[20:29] Akari
    It's from pen name "Tom Is Pen"-san.
[20:31] Everyone
    Thanks for writing!
[20:35] Akari
    "Lately, I can't stop playing video games."
[20:37] Akari
    "Please talk about your favorite games..."
[20:40] Akari
    "Without using any English words."
[20:42] Mito
    Why?
SIGN    Theme:
    Your Favorite
    Video Games
SIGN    * No English Allowed
[20:47] Akari
    Ready... start!
SIGN    Theme: Talk about your favorite
    video games (no English allowed)
[20:48] Hime
    Gong!
[20:49] Hina
    Your favorite... g-ga—
[20:51] Hime
    Games!
SIGN    Game
[20:52] Mito
    Tanaka!
[20:55] Akari
    Wait, hang on, I have to count every foul!
[20:57] Hinata
    Wait, Akari, that's...
SIGN    Count
[21:00] Akari
    This is really hard, guys! Give me a break!
[21:03] Mito
    Well, I enjoy romance games.
[21:05] Everyone
    Oh, romance games!
[21:06] Mito
    The cool ones, especially.
[21:08] Akari
    What kind of ty...
[21:08] Hime
    The ones with stories!
[21:10] Akari
    Uh, never mind, I mean wh-what kinda..
[21:11] Someone
    Tai?
[21:12] Akari
    What kind of... Thai?
[21:13] Someone
    Thai!
[21:14] Akari
    No!
[21:16] Mito
    Akari!
[21:17] Mito
    Don't try and narrow down the genre of game!
[21:19] Hime
    Hey, Mito-chan said "game"! You said game!
SIGN    Game
[21:22] Mito
    This is chaos!
[21:24] Akari
    That does it for this week!
[21:26] Akari
    And so, until next week...
[21:29] Everyone
    Virtual-san is looking!
SIGN    Roboko
[23:09] Roboko
    Hello, robo! I'm the super
    advanced robotic Vtuber, Roboko!
[23:13] Roboko
    I'm sure you've all had your
    glasses fog up before, right?
[23:17] Roboko
    Like when you go indoors on a cold day,
[23:20] Roboko
    when you're wearing a face mask,
[23:21] Roboko
    or when you're drinking some hot coffee!
[23:24] Roboko
    Wow, can you imagine how hard it'd be to see
    if you drank hot coffee with a face mask on?
[23:30] Roboko
    Wait, did somebody just call me junk?
SIGN    Next time is "One Cannot Live Without Loafing!"
SIGN    Next Time
    "One Cannot Live Without Loafing!"
SIGN    And next week, Virtual-san will be looking again!