E5 - Peter Grill and a Blind Date with an Orc

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] ---
    My darling Luvellia is
    drifting away from my side...
[00:19] ---
    Unacceptable!
[00:22] ---
    Guildmaster, a missive has arrived...
[00:35] ---
    With this, you shall meet
    your demise... Peter Grill!
[00:51] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
[00:58] ---
    Nanben shippai shite naori mo shinai
[01:04] ---
    Doushiyoumonai shi datte datte muri datta shi
[01:07] ---
    Konna hazu janai tte genjitsutouhi
[01:11] ---
    Mata shinitakunaru konna jibun, iya
[01:17] ---
    Fusagikonde uso o tsuite kizutsuita tte naite
[01:20] ---
    Maigo no kanjou dakishimete nemuttemo
[01:23] ---
    Koukai zenzen zenzen zenzen kienai!
[01:27] ---
    Hitorikiri de kubi shimeai
[01:31] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
    itsumo risou ni zasetsu shite
[01:34] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
    itsumo risou ni zasetsu shite
[01:38] ---
    Jibun semeru pose dake totte oyasui
    menzai nigirishimete amaeteru
[01:41] ---
    Jibun semeru pose dake totte oyasui
    menzai nigirishimete amaeteru
[01:44] ---
    Nanben shippai shite naori mo shinai
[01:47] ---
    Hansei bakari de kawarenakute
[01:50] ---
    Kokorogoroshi yarisugosu owaranai
    zange to yuuutsu no yoru
[01:54] ---
    Kokorogoroshi yarisugosu owaranai
    zange to yuuutsu no yoru
[02:03] ---
    Kanzen na jibun ga dokonimo inai
[02:10] ---
    Saitei na jibun shika mitsukaranai
[02:15] ---
    Marriage... proposal?
[02:18] ---
    Precisely.
[02:19] ---
    Episode 5: Peter Grill and
    a Blind Date with an Orc
[02:19] ---
    We have received a missive from Orcland
    requesting access to your future offspring.
[02:25] ---
    Having witnessed your performance in
    the Grand Fighting Tournament,
[02:29] ---
    a member of the Orc aristocracy named
    Mr. Babe has come forth with a direct offer.
[02:31] ---
    But Luvellia-senpai and I
    already pledged ourselves!
[02:37] ---
    Father!
[02:38] ---
    What in the world is the meaning of this?!
[02:41] ---
    The Guild recognized my
    engagement to Peter-kun.
[02:44] ---
    A marriage proposal?! Now, of all times?!
[02:45] ---
    Calm yourself, Luvellia.
[02:48] ---
    Consider this nothing more than a formality.
[02:51] ---
    If I may be so bold,
[02:52] ---
    the nobility hailing from Great Orcland and
    the southern United Pork Pie Kingdom
[02:56] ---
    are some of our Guild's
    most influential patrons.
[02:59] ---
    Due to the substantial monetary
    contributions they provide,
[03:02] ---
    it would be unwise to decline
    their request outright.
[03:05] ---
    So as not to disgrace our esteemed allies,
    we must adhere to the standard protocol.
[03:09] ---
    After that, etiquette
    dictates a polite refusal.
[03:14] ---
    Please, Guildmaster...!
[03:16] ---
    Is there some sort of problem?
[03:18] ---
    As Luvellia's loyal fiancé,
    you don't intend to become emotionally
[03:21] ---
    attached to this potential
    marriage partner, do you?
[03:24] ---
    No, I would never dream of such a thing...
[03:28] ---
    I'm well aware of what you're
    trying to pull, Father.
[03:32] ---
    However, you're wasting your time.
[03:35] ---
    The idea of Peter-kun betraying
    my trust is simply preposterous!
[03:42] ---
    Layonnaise!
[03:44] ---
    The pain...
[03:45] ---
    My heart can't take this...!
[03:47] ---
    Senpai!
[03:48] ---
    One little swimmer...
[03:49] ---
    What about ME?!
[03:56] ---
    It was exceedingly generous of you
    to entertain our unusual request.
[04:01] ---
    We are most appreciative!
[04:04] ---
    This marriage proposal is
    of great significance to us.
[04:07] ---
    It presents an opportunity to reinforce the relationship between
[04:12] ---
    Orcland and the Yakeppachi Warriors Guild.
[04:16] ---
    Great minds think alike!
[04:21] ---
    This whole blind date
    thing is clearly a trap...
[04:24] ---
    However, the Guildmaster has failed
    to consider one crucial detail.
[04:29] ---
    It's true...
[04:30] ---
    Looks aren't everything, but...
[04:36] ---
    That ain't gonna happen!
[04:41] ---
    You! Go and fetch Piglette.
[04:45] ---
    Did he say "Piglette"?!
[04:48] ---
    Humans and Orcs are two distinct cultures.
[04:51] ---
    Each has a vastly different
    concept of ideal beauty.
[04:54] ---
    If I had to guess, the Guildmaster's goal is to
    trick me into causing some sort of scandal.
[04:59] ---
    But this time, I have total confidence!
[05:03] ---
    Oink...!
[05:05] ---
    Me, fall for an Orc? No way in...
[05:09] ---
    ...hell?!
[05:15] ---
    P-Piglette Pancetta, at your service.
[05:24] ---
    Sh-She's cute?!
[05:30] ---
    Now then, get to know one another.
    Let your friendship blossom.
[05:44] ---
    The old bastard set me up...!
[05:46] ---
    I already know where this is going...
[05:49] ---
    Man milk!
[05:50] ---
    Oink!
[05:58] ---
    I-Is she about to give birth?!
[06:00] ---
    Uh... Are you okay?
[06:03] ---
    F-forgive me... I-it's just...
[06:07] ---
    I've never spoken to a man
    this much in my life...
[06:12] ---
    But we've barely said
    two words to each other!
[06:19] ---
    S-Sorry...
[06:22] ---
    Guildmaster, a young lady such as she...
[06:26] ---
    Fret not, Goodman...
[06:30] ---
    Guildmaster!
[06:31] ---
    My apologies for the delay.
[06:33] ---
    I've brought the Goon Squad
    Trio, as you requested.
[06:37] ---
    Goon Squad Trio?!
[06:41] ---
    I was employed as a servant by Master Babe.
[06:45] ---
    One day, I suddenly found myself
    swept up in talks of marriage...
[06:49] ---
    Does that mean...
[06:50] ---
    You're not on board with this whole thing?
[06:53] ---
    Y-You see, I'm merely doing
    as Master Babe instructed...
[07:00] ---
    However...
[07:03] ---
    Your breathtaking performance at the tournament is burned into
[07:05] ---
    my memories even now, Sir Peter.
[07:10] ---
    Offering a repulsive woman like
    me to a noble man like you...
[07:15] ---
    It's...!
[07:16] ---
    Repulsive?! You?!
[07:18] ---
    I'm an outcast in Orc society.
[07:21] ---
    My entire life, I've been treated like garbage
    for having the appearance of a Human...
[07:26] ---
    I'm sorry!
[07:27] ---
    Only a fool would be seen with
    a hideous Orc like me...!
[07:32] ---
    Wait!
[07:38] ---
    P-Pardon me...
[07:41] ---
    Hey there, sweet cheeks!
[07:43] ---
    If you ain't got nowhere to be,
    how's about joinin' us for a bite to eat?
[07:48] ---
    Let us show you a good time...
[07:51] ---
    U-Um... No, thank you. I...
[07:56] ---
    Hey, back off!
[07:57] ---
    S-Sir Peter...?
[07:59] ---
    Piglette-san, stay behind me.
[08:02] ---
    The hell's your problem?!
[08:04] ---
    Dammit! Yer pissin' me off!
[08:06] ---
    It's slaughter time, boys!
[08:15] ---
    Now's our chance!
[08:20] ---
    Th-Thank you, Sir Peter...
    for rescuing such an ugly woman...
[08:26] ---
    You aren't ugly at all.
[08:28] ---
    That might be the case in the Orc world,
    but let's get one thing straight:
[08:33] ---
    By Human standards, you're really cute.
[08:36] ---
    C-C-C-Cu...?!
[08:44] ---
    So have a little more
    confidence in yourself, okay?
[08:48] ---
    Oh, my bad.
[08:55] ---
    W-Well then, could we take a
    tour of the town together...?
[09:01] ---
    Of course!
[09:11] ---
    How beautiful...!
[09:17] ---
    I've always wanted to visit a Human city.
[09:19] ---
    I figured that it might be easier for
    a hideous woman like myself...
[09:24] ---
    To blend in, you know?
[09:31] ---
    That was a blast!
[09:37] ---
    Out with it, you two.
[09:39] ---
    Were you able to connect with
    each other on a deeper level?
[09:42] ---
    With all due respect, I must speak my mind.
[09:45] ---
    This marriage proposal is nothing more
    than a ploy to score political points.
[09:49] ---
    The intentions of those involved
    are not being taken into account.
[09:54] ---
    I believe Miss Piglette feels likewise and
    would prefer not to proceed any further.
[10:00] ---
    Does he speak the truth, Piglette?
[10:02] ---
    W-Well, I...
[10:04] ---
    Now then, if you'll excuse me...
[10:08] ---
    How rude!
[10:09] ---
    Leaving your seat before our esteemed
    guest has a chance to respond?
[10:11] ---
    Where are your manners?!
[10:14] ---
    Perhaps the two of you have not had enough time to
[10:18] ---
    gain an intimate understanding of one another...
[10:20] ---
    Don't you agree, Piglette?
[10:27] ---
    What the hell...?
[10:29] ---
    Guildmaster!
[10:30] ---
    If you spend one night in this room,
    at least we can say that we tried.
[10:34] ---
    Though a mere formality,
    we must be sure to cover all our bases.
[10:38] ---
    I sincerely hope that you refrain
    from making an error in judgement...
[10:43] ---
    Oh crap...
[10:44] ---
    This is bad...!
[10:49] ---
    Sir Peter...
[11:01] ---
    Hajimari wa tada no koigokoro
[11:03] ---
    Kizukeba yuiitsumuni no yoridokoro
[11:06] ---
    Onaji toki kizami toshi o torou yo
[11:09] ---
    Korekara wa onegai sa
[11:12] ---
    Stay with me, stay with me
[11:14] ---
    So long time tonari ni ite eikyuu ni
[11:18] ---
    Tatakai no hibi ni tsukaretemo
[11:21] ---
    Ikari no ame ni furaretemo
[11:23] ---
    Nureteshimau naraba mayowazu
[11:26] ---
    Ore ga kawari ni anata no kasa to naru
[11:29] ---
    Samukunai yo tonari ni iru
[11:31] ---
    Tada soredake de
[11:34] ---
    Kimi wa boku no yoridokoro sa
[11:37] ---
    Sono egao ni mata iyasareru
[11:41] ---
    Sekaijuu sagashitemo
[11:43] ---
    Kawari nante inai
[11:45] ---
    Kimi wa boku no yoridokoro sa
[11:48] ---
    Soko ni iru dake de mata mitasareru
[11:52] ---
    Donna ni kizutsuitemo
[11:55] ---
    Kono mi sasage mamoru kara
[12:01] ---
    Dear Sir Peter Grill,
[12:03] ---
    Between your fortitude and ingenuity,
    nobody can catch you off guard.
[12:06] ---
    That's the beauty of being
    the strongest man alive, eh?
[12:08] ---
    Episode 6: Peter Grill and
    the Orc's True Character