E3 - Peter Grill and Relationships with Elves

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] ---
    Peter-kun...
[00:08] ---
    At long last, I understand
    where babies come from.
[00:13] ---
    Luvellia-senpai...
[00:15] ---
    I'm glad to hear you've finally
    taken my explanation to heart.
[00:21] ---
    Now, if we're to have a child...
[00:24] ---
    Let us embark upon this journey together...
[00:28] ---
    Peter-kun.
[00:32] ---
    Luvellia-senpai...
[00:39] ---
    You're dead meat...
[00:41] ---
    A-a ghost...?!
[00:55] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
[01:02] ---
    Nanben shippai shite naori mo shinai
[01:08] ---
    Doushiyoumonai shi datte datte muri datta shi
[01:12] ---
    Konna hazu janai tte genjitsutouhi
[01:15] ---
    Mata shinitakunaru konna jibun, iya
[01:21] ---
    Fusagikonde uso o tsuite kizutsuita tte naite
[01:24] ---
    Maigo no kanjou dakishimete nemuttemo
[01:28] ---
    Koukai zenzen zenzen zenzen kienai!
[01:31] ---
    Hitorikiri de kubi shimeai
[01:35] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
    itsumo risou ni zasetsu shite
[01:39] ---
    Kanzen seijin ni nante nare yashinai
    itsumo risou ni zasetsu shite
[01:42] ---
    Jibun semeru pose dake totte oyasui
    menzai nigirishimete amaeteru
[01:45] ---
    Jibun semeru pose dake totte oyasui
    menzai nigirishimete amaeteru
[01:48] ---
    Nanben shippai shite naori mo shinai
[01:51] ---
    Hansei bakari de kawarenakute
[01:55] ---
    Kokorogoroshi yarisugosu owaranai
    zange to yuuutsu no yoru
[01:58] ---
    Kokorogoroshi yarisugosu owaranai
    zange to yuuutsu no yoru
[02:08] ---
    Kanzen na jibun ga dokonimo inai
[02:14] ---
    Saitei na jibun shika mitsukaranai
[02:20] ---
    Wait... you're a thief, aren't you?!
[02:21] ---
    Episode 3: Peter Grill and
    Relationships with Elves
[02:23] ---
    Don't put up a fight, you bastard!
[02:25] ---
    C'mere! There's nowhere to run!
[02:27] ---
    What are you doing, you cretin?!
[02:29] ---
    Everything would be fine
    if you had stayed asleep!
[02:31] ---
    Why, you...!
[02:32] ---
    Good ol' Peter sure is rowdy tonight...
[02:35] ---
    He drinkin' in his room or somethin'?
[02:37] ---
    Yo, knock-knock!
[02:39] ---
    What're you fussin' around
    in the dark for...?
[02:55] ---
    Huh?
[02:56] ---
    A-A girl...?
[03:03] ---
    Release me, you imbecile!
[03:07] ---
    No need to worry!
[03:08] ---
    I'll take this whole thing to the grave.
[03:11] ---
    "Tim Robinson withdraws coolly."
[03:13] ---
    N-No, this isn't what it looks like!
[03:15] ---
    Wait a minute, Tim-kun!
[03:16] ---
    Let me explain...!
[03:18] ---
    Tim-kun...!
[03:18] ---
    Cheatin' on her, eh?
    Tim-kun...!
[03:19] ---
    Tim-kun...!
[03:20] ---
    The dude's got balls of steel...
    Tim-kun...!
[03:20] ---
    The dude's got balls of steel...
[03:25] ---
    Given the situation,
[03:26] ---
    I suppose I'll have to do
    this the old-fashioned way...
[03:30] ---
    My name is Vegan Eldoriel.
[03:32] ---
    I have traveled here as the designated
[03:34] ---
    goodwill ambassador from the land of my brethren.
[03:38] ---
    Elf...
[03:40] ---
    Demi-human...
[03:42] ---
    Female...
[03:44] ---
    Not sure why...
[03:45] ---
    But I've got a VERY bad feeling about this...
[03:47] ---
    Don't tell me she's got the same idea
    as those crazy Ogre sisters...!
[03:52] ---
    As for the reason I've traveled here today...
[03:58] ---
    I have come to acquire the
    nectar of your nethers!
[04:01] ---
    Goddammit!
[04:03] ---
    At this point I'm afraid to ask...
[04:05] ---
    But why ME, exactly...?
[04:08] ---
    A good question, indeed!
[04:09] ---
    Why would us members of the proud Elven race
[04:12] ---
    require the seed of an inferior Human such as yourself?
[04:16] ---
    The answer, of course, is none other than to save
    our beloved village from total annihilation!
[04:20] ---
    A humiliating subject though it may be,
[04:22] ---
    our nation has continually failed to yield sufficient
    results at the Grand Fighting Tournament,
[04:26] ---
    an event that celebrates combat prowess!
[04:29] ---
    We're the object of ridicule amongst neighboring
    countries who terrorize us with acts of aggression,
[04:33] ---
    and our international reputation
    is slowly deteriorating...
[04:36] ---
    Despite taking various countermeasures,
[04:39] ---
    Elves are a physically weak species.
[04:42] ---
    History proves that we aren't
    suited for military conquest.
[04:46] ---
    Therein lies MY role!
[04:47] ---
    The Council has chosen to adopt a
    resolution stating that we shall aim
[04:50] ---
    to obtain an optimal genetic
    specimen from an outside source!
[04:54] ---
    And as the designated goodwill ambassador,
[04:58] ---
    I have been tasked with the responsibility
    of bringing back your juices!
[05:01] ---
    Now, with that being said, Peter Grill...
[05:05] ---
    Y-You are welcome to play with me...
[05:11] ---
    As much as you'd like.
[05:13] ---
    Why are these demi-human types completely
    incapable of considering MY point of view?!
[05:17] ---
    Is breeding the only thing they care about?!
[05:19] ---
    Look, to be honest with you...
[05:21] ---
    I don't necessarily mind being
    approached by cute girls.
[05:27] ---
    Of course not! I mean, who would?!
[05:29] ---
    However...!
[05:30] ---
    I'm sorry.
[05:31] ---
    While I appreciate the offer,
    I must respectfully decline!
[05:35] ---
    What...?!
[05:37] ---
    Impossible!
[05:39] ---
    Are you saying a plebeian Human
    like you would let the chance
[05:42] ---
    to mate with a member of the
    noble Elven race such as I go to waste?!
[05:44] ---
    The superiority complex
    is strong with this one...
[05:46] ---
    Pretty typical comin' from an Elf...
[05:49] ---
    Then I shall squeeze every
    last drop out of you by force!
[05:52] ---
    Not happening! Just take a look for yourself!
[05:59] ---
    H-How dare you?!
[06:01] ---
    It can't be...
[06:02] ---
    Does my sublime body not arouse
    that ugly meatstick of yours?!
[06:07] ---
    How come?!
[06:08] ---
    Why don't you have an erection?!
[06:11] ---
    As long as my heart belongs to another,
[06:13] ---
    the blood in my veins shall refrain
    from flowing to my spongy tissues!
[06:19] ---
    No way...
[06:21] ---
    Impotent moron!
[06:22] ---
    How am I supposed to fulfill my
    duties as an ambassador now?!
[06:27] ---
    In that case...
[06:29] ---
    You've left me no choice but
    to utilize my secret weapon!
[06:31] ---
    Huh?
[06:44] ---
    H-hold on!
[06:45] ---
    What are you doing?!
[06:48] ---
    Go!
[06:51] ---
    Wh-What's with this light...?!
[06:55] ---
    A magic spell?!
[06:56] ---
    The hell'd you do to my crotch?!
[06:59] ---
    It's far too late for
    apologies, you imbecile!
[07:02] ---
    The curse I placed upon you is a powerful
    type of forbidden sorcery
[07:07] ---
    that's been carefully sealed
    away in my homeland for generations!
[07:11] ---
    F-forbidden sorcery?!
[07:13] ---
    Peter Grill.
[07:15] ---
    Allow me to share with you a prediction:
[07:18] ---
    Tomorrow night,
    you shall appear before me and drop to your knees,
[07:21] ---
    pleading for mercy in a pitiful voice!
[07:25] ---
    "Please, I'll do anything for
    you to sample my man goo!
[07:28] ---
    I'm begging you, please let me bang you!"
[07:32] ---
    That was oddly specific, don't you think?!
[07:34] ---
    Until we meet again...
[07:35] ---
    Fare thee well!
[07:37] ---
    H-Hey, wait!
[07:42] ---
    Well, the light died out...
    My junk looks normal, too...
[07:45] ---
    And besides, I've never heard of a spell used
    to mess with a man's dangly bits...
[07:50] ---
    That's just silly.
[07:51] ---
    She's bluffing, that's all!
[07:55] ---
    Now then, it's time to get
    ready for today's hunt.
[07:58] ---
    I'm itchin' for some action!
[08:06] ---
    According to the villagers,
    the creature supposedly emerges around dusk...
[08:10] ---
    Isn't that right?
[08:15] ---
    Lady Luvellia.
[08:16] ---
    Nighttime is nearly upon us.
[08:18] ---
    We'll be in grave danger should the sun set
    before we're able to locate the creature's lair.
[08:23] ---
    Perhaps we ought to wait for the
    combat unit to arrive and try again
[08:27] ---
    What's wrong?!
[08:28] ---
    L-Lady Luvellia!
[08:29] ---
    The ground...!
[08:34] ---
    Th-This is...!
[08:47] ---
    Peter-san!
[08:48] ---
    Terrible news!
[08:49] ---
    It's Lady Luvellia...!
[08:52] ---
    If you're looking for Senpai,
[08:53] ---
    she should've already left for the hot
    springs area as part of the vanguard.
[08:56] ---
    I'm headed out now, myself.
[08:57] ---
    I just received word from our messenger that
    she's been ambushed by the creature...
[09:02] ---
    Based on our intel, this is
    the creature who attacked her:
[09:05] ---
    The Great Worm Goblin!
[09:08] ---
    Huh?
[09:09] ---
    Oh, my mistake.
[09:11] ---
    Here it is!
[09:12] ---
    S-Seriously...?!
[09:16] ---
    They say it wreaks havoc across the village at sunset,
    devouring the men and defiling the women!
[09:29] ---
    Luvellia-senpai...!
[09:32] ---
    Oh, Senpai!
[09:42] ---
    Accursed demon...!
[09:44] ---
    Lady Luvellia, it's too risky!
[09:46] ---
    I shall act as a shield.
[09:47] ---
    Escape while the creature is distracted!
[09:53] ---
    I am a knight...
[09:55] ---
    I cannot in good conscience surrender now!
[10:14] ---
    Let go, you fiend!
[10:25] ---
    Lady Luvellia...!
[10:37] ---
    It's no use...
[10:39] ---
    We can't win!
[10:55] ---
    Save me...
[10:57] ---
    Save me...
[10:58] ---
    Peter-kun!
[11:01] ---
    Hajimari wa tada no koigokoro
[11:03] ---
    Kizukeba yuiitsumuni no yoridokoro
[11:06] ---
    Onaji toki kizami toshi o torou yo
[11:09] ---
    Korekara wa onegai sa
[11:12] ---
    Stay with me, stay with me
[11:14] ---
    So long time tonari ni ite eikyuu ni
[11:18] ---
    Tatakai no hibi ni tsukaretemo
[11:21] ---
    Ikari no ame ni furaretemo
[11:24] ---
    Nureteshimau naraba mayowazu
[11:26] ---
    Ore ga kawari ni anata no kasa to naru
[11:29] ---
    Samukunai yo tonari ni iru
[11:32] ---
    Tada soredake de
[11:34] ---
    Kimi wa boku no yoridokoro sa
[11:37] ---
    Sono egao ni mata iyasareru
[11:41] ---
    Sekaijuu sagashitemo
[11:43] ---
    Kawari nante inai
[11:46] ---
    Kimi wa boku no yoridokoro sa
[11:49] ---
    Soko ni iru dake de mata mitasareru
[11:53] ---
    Donna ni kizutsuitemo
[11:55] ---
    Kono mi sasage mamoru kara
[12:00] ---
    Dear Sir Peter Grill,
[12:03] ---
    Rumor has it, you set out on a
    dangerous hunting mission...
[12:06] ---
    Betcha no monster can hold a candle
    to the strongest warrior alive!
[12:08] ---
    Episode 4: Peter Grill and Bathing Etiquette