E1 - Peter Grill and the Ogre Sisters

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] ---
    At last, the decennial combat
    festival known as the
[00:11] ---
    "Grand Fighting Tournament" has
    reached its exciting conclusion!
[00:14] ---
    Could a Human bring home the gold
    for the first time in 150 years?!
[00:25] ---
    If I win this thing now...
[00:28] ---
    We... Luvellia-senpai and I...
[00:39] ---
    Somewhere out there, in a faraway land...
[00:42] ---
    A martial arts competition to decide the strongest
    man on the planet was underway.
[00:51] ---
    To the victor of said competition
    goes fame and glory.
[00:55] ---
    In turn, he will become the object
    of international intrigue.
[01:09] ---
    Your new champion is...
[01:11] ---
    The representative of the
    Yakeppachi Warriors Guild:
[01:13] ---
    Peter Grill!
[01:15] ---
    Indeed.
    Peter Grill!
[01:16] ---
    Peter Grill knew not of what
    the future had in store...
[01:21] ---
    Nor the terror that lay ahead...
[02:55] ---
    Episode 1: Peter Grill and the Ogre Sisters
[02:58] ---
    Yo, Peter!
[02:59] ---
    What happened to meetin' up at the bar?!
[03:04] ---
    Gotta hurry...
[03:05] ---
    I can't wait to celebrate with her...!
[03:08] ---
    Senpai...
[03:10] ---
    Senpai!
[03:11] ---
    Oh, it's you, Mimi.
[03:12] ---
    Major congrats on your win!
[03:14] ---
    As a fellow guild member,
    I couldn't be more proud!
[03:18] ---
    Huh, looks like I'm the
    first one to show up...
[03:21] ---
    Hm? What do you mean?
[03:23] ---
    Well, y'see...
[03:24] ---
    Now that you're officially the
    strongest man on the planet,
[03:27] ---
    I've got a favor to ask...
[03:31] ---
    Not sure what you're gettin' at...
[03:32] ---
    But since I'm in a good mood,
    go ahead and lay it on me!
[03:35] ---
    Aw, thanks! Much appreciation!
[03:39] ---
    So, I was thinking...
[03:40] ---
    Hm...?
[03:41] ---
    Lemme get your junk spunk!
[03:45] ---
    Are you CRAZY?! What are you talking about?!
[03:48] ---
    Oopsie... Did I say something
    I wasn't supposed to...?
[03:52] ---
    For us Ogres, producing strong
    offspring is a pretty big deal...
[03:57] ---
    And in terms of breeding partners,
    a champion like you...
[03:59] ---
    Ogre-based logic isn't gonna fly around here!
[04:02] ---
    I'm sorry!
[04:04] ---
    I forgot the Human Realm has
    rules for this sorta stuff...
[04:06] ---
    Jeez...
[04:07] ---
    -Y'see, it hasn't been very
    long since I moved here...
[04:10] ---
    -She's not a bad kid.
    -Y'see, it hasn't been very long since I moved here...
[04:12] ---
    -She's not a bad kid.
[04:12] ---
    But the weirdest crap comes flyin'
    outta her mouth sometimes...
[04:15] ---
    'Kay! I understand now, Senpai!
[04:18] ---
    Would you...
[04:19] ---
    -Please consider having sex with me?!
[04:20] ---
    -You obviously don't understand a damn thing!
    -Please consider having sex with me?!
[04:22] ---
    -You obviously don't understand a damn thing!
[04:23] ---
    Enough of your foolishness!
[04:26] ---
    B-Big Sis?!
[04:29] ---
    Oh, Lisa!
[04:30] ---
    Talk some sense into her, would you?!
[04:33] ---
    Mimi, I insist you cease
    this behavior immediately.
[04:38] ---
    -For I shall be the one to
    partake in this man's loins!
[04:40] ---
    -You, too...?!
    -For I shall be the one to partake in this man's loins!
[04:41] ---
    -You, too...?!
[04:42] ---
    A close call, indeed.
[04:44] ---
    At this precise moment,
[04:46] ---
    countless nations are beginning
    the race to obtain your sperm.
[04:49] ---
    As an Ogre of the fairer sex,
    I cannot allow such a thing to happen!
[04:53] ---
    History has proven time and again...
[04:57] ---
    The blood of the most powerful
    warriors belongs to OGRES!
[05:00] ---
    Unbelievable...
[05:01] ---
    Come along, Peter Grill...
[05:03] ---
    You get the picture, so
    no puttin' up a fight!
[05:06] ---
    Seriously?!
[05:08] ---
    This can't be happening!
[05:15] ---
    What...? What is it?
[05:21] ---
    I refuse to be your studhorse!
[05:24] ---
    Peter Grill!
[05:25] ---
    On my pride as an Ogre...
    I shall NEVER let you slip through my grasp!
[05:29] ---
    ...yeah!
[05:31] ---
    Forget them... There's
    no time to waste, Peter!
[05:35] ---
    Go... Quickly!
[05:38] ---
    Take your place by her side...!
[05:42] ---
    Luvellia-senpai!
[05:44] ---
    Hello, Peter-kun.
[05:46] ---
    I've been waiting for you.
[05:51] ---
    I finally did it.
[05:52] ---
    And now... Now we're home free!
[05:55] ---
    Indeed.
[05:56] ---
    He may be stubborn,
[05:57] ---
    but with such an impressive
    victory under your belt,
[05:59] ---
    my father HAS to give us his blessing.
[06:03] ---
    Once we're married...
[06:05] ---
    All that's left is to have a child
    and carry on the family name.
[06:08] ---
    Uh... Just checking, but...
[06:11] ---
    Could you remind me how babies are made?
[06:17] ---
    Not this again...
[06:19] ---
    Despite what you think, I'm
    not COMPLETELY oblivious.
[06:22] ---
    Pay attention. I won't spare you the details:
[06:25] ---
    When two people who love
    each other pray to the heavens,
[06:28] ---
    the stork carries their
    child to a cabbage patch.
[06:31] ---
    It's the miracle of life!
[06:34] ---
    So innocent...!
[06:36] ---
    I can't help but feel
    that's the REAL miracle...
[06:41] ---
    It's been two years since
    Senpai and I started dating.
[06:43] ---
    Thanks to the Guildmaster's overprotective
    personality and brainwashing methods,
[06:48] ---
    the most we've ever done is hold hands!
[06:52] ---
    If we get married like this, I'm screwed...
[06:56] ---
    Come on!
[06:57] ---
    Why don't we say a prayer
    together, Peter-kun?
[07:01] ---
    Sure...
[07:08] ---
    What a day...
[07:10] ---
    I'm glad I won the tournament,
    but now I've got all sorts of problems...
[07:17] ---
    Goof juice...!
[07:21] ---
    There's no use dwelling on it...
[07:27] ---
    Ta-da! Guess who?!
[07:31] ---
    Make a woman outta me, Senpai!
[07:35] ---
    Go away!
[07:37] ---
    -Wait, Senpai! Please open
    the door! C'mon, Senpai!
[07:39] ---
    -Have these Ogres no sense of decency?!
    -Wait, Senpai! Please open the door! C'mon, Senpai!
[07:45] ---
    It seems the two of us are finally alone...
[07:50] ---
    Open up, Peter Grill!
[07:52] ---
    What EXACTLY are you dissatisfied with?!
[07:54] ---
    Is this about money?! How
    much do we gotta pay?!
[07:57] ---
    Shut up and take a hike!
[08:00] ---
    What's all the ruckus...?
[08:02] ---
    No way...
[08:03] ---
    This dude's kickin' out a
    couple of naked girls...
[08:05] ---
    Are you serious?!
[08:06] ---
    What an asshole...
[08:09] ---
    Goddammit!
[08:10] ---
    Breathe...
[08:11] ---
    At this rate, you're gonna
    fall into their trap...
[08:14] ---
    I'm happily engaged to Luvellia-senpai...
[08:19] ---
    We are well aware, Peter Grill,
    of the fact that your relationship with Luvellia...
[08:25] ---
    ...has never gone beyond
    holding hands, for example...
[08:28] ---
    Us, on the other hand...
[08:33] ---
    H-hold on...
[08:34] ---
    We can entertain you in ways she
    couldn't even begin to imagine...
[08:40] ---
    Knock it off!
[08:42] ---
    What kind of scumbag do you take me for?!
[08:45] ---
    Senpai and I made a
    commitment to one another!
[08:48] ---
    Betraying her trust...
[08:50] ---
    It's absolutely unforgiveable!
[08:53] ---
    That's right...
[08:54] ---
    And no Ogre on this planet
    can convince me otherwise!
[09:03] ---
    Did you... say something just now?
[09:12] ---
    C-crap... This feeling...
[09:15] ---
    There's someone I care about deeply...!
[09:25] ---
    And yet...
[09:27] ---
    I...
[09:29] ---
    I...!
[10:30] ---
    WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
[10:33] ---
    How could I be so weak...?!
[10:37] ---
    Why...
[10:38] ---
    Why...?!
[10:40] ---
    WHY COULDN'T I KEEP IT IN MY PANTS?!
[10:46] ---
    Peter-kun, are you awake?
[10:52] ---
    I know that voice...!
[10:58] ---
    Oh no...
[12:00] ---
    Dear Sir Peter Grill,
[12:03] ---
    Word on the street is you won the tournament
    and got engaged to Luvellia-san.
[12:06] ---
    Episode 2: Peter Grill and
    the Future Father-in-Law
[12:07] ---
    Betcha feel like the luckiest
    guy alive right now, eh?