E9 - Jigatights - SQ-Water

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 17
    Jigatights
[00:05] ---
    Ah! My battery's out again.
[00:08] ---
    Yamashita-san, do you
    have a cord I can borrow?
[00:10] ---
    Senpai, that's sexual
    harassment. I will report you.
[00:14] ---
    I don't think think counts as harassment.
    Please don't report me.
[00:17] ---
    Hey, Tanaka! You can charge
    your phone with THIS!
[00:19] ---
    That's a big help, thank you.
[00:21] ---
    Where is it?
[00:22] ---
    Here. Right here...
[00:25] ---
    Behold, it is here!
[00:28] ---
    You see this, Yamashita-san?
    THAT is sexual harassment.
[00:31] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[00:43] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:49] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:55] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:58] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[01:02] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[01:06] ---
    A premonition of love
[01:07] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:13] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:18] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:20] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[01:25] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:31] ---
    What's this?
[01:32] ---
    It seems wretched bastard that you are,
    Tanaka - you were anticipating something.
[01:35] ---
    Unfortunately, what you were
    imagining shall not be found here.
[01:40] ---
    Hidden beneath this dress
    is today's must-have item...
[01:46] ---
    To wit, THIS!
[01:49] ---
    Hey! At least one of you could look this way!
[01:51] ---
    It's not as if this slightly
    mysterious young girl is researching yoga
[01:54] ---
    and just whispering to herself!
[01:56] ---
    Science Club members, line up! Trot this way!
[01:59] ---
    Team, fix your gaze upon my lower body!
[02:02] ---
    At first glance, these may appear
    to be perfectly ordinary tights,
[02:04] ---
    but in fact, they are made
    of a heretofore unknown material,
[02:07] ---
    a blend of high-density nanowire
    and ultra-inductive polymer!
[02:10] ---
    Hey! Let those peepers get an eyeful already!
[02:14] ---
    Yes, I'm paying attention...
[02:15] ---
    Then listen up! In a nutshell,
[02:17] ---
    HEAT GENERATION
    EVAPORATION
[02:18] ---
    these tights can take
    all the energy we expend
[02:19] ---
    PERSPIRATION
    CHAFING
[02:20] ---
    DRYING
    ELASTICITY
[02:20] ---
    during our everyday lives
    and turn that into ENERGY!
[02:21] ---
    RANGE OF MOTION
[02:24] ---
    Its ability to generate
    power is unparalleled,
[02:26] ---
    providing the equivalent of
    a full marathon run at 1.21 jigawatts!
[02:30] ---
    It's nothing short of a revolution,
    with energy being generated at the crotch level!
[02:35] ---
    It is ultra high-power output
    clothing: the Jigatights!
[02:37] ---
    Huh...
[02:39] ---
    Okay, so, please try charging something.
[02:43] ---
    Fine. Watch and learn. First,
    I'll take a smartphone cord...
[02:47] ---
    Is this the one?
[02:49] ---
    What are you doing with that?
[02:52] ---
    Very well! We shall begin charging.
[02:54] ---
    Wow, I'm starting to get kind of excited!
[02:58] ---
    ...Um, what's the matter?
[02:59] ---
    You have to rub or something
    to start the charging process.
[03:02] ---
    Huh? Just move around there where you are.
[03:06] ---
    Why should I have to be
    the one to move around?!
[03:09] ---
    It's YOUR cellphone,
    so use your own energy to charge it!
[03:13] ---
    There.
[03:15] ---
    Fine, then I'll wear those tights to
    generate energy. Please take them off.
[03:19] ---
    I-I swear, you don't think twice
    about crossing certain types of lines, do you?!
[03:23] ---
    For you to say that, this
    must be part of some scheme,
[03:26] ---
    a plot to take my tights and generate some
    SPECIAL sort of energy, right? You pervert!
[03:31] ---
    What's with that face?!
[03:32] ---
    Um, what is this all about?
[03:34] ---
    Enough already! Just hurry up and stroke me!
[03:37] ---
    Yeah, yeah. Please sit over
    here to make it easier for me.
[03:40] ---
    Why are you acting like
    this is such a chore?!
[03:46] ---
    Okay, here goes.
[03:56] ---
    Oh!
[03:57] ---
    Ma'am, when I rub you, it
    really does start recharging!
[04:01] ---
    P-p-pretty great, huh?!
[04:03] ---
    This sure is useful.
[04:07] ---
    You've fallen right into my trap.
[04:09] ---
    Tanaka, you are a child
    of the present, prone to
[04:11] ---
    fiddling
    with your cellphone when you have free time!
[04:13] ---
    As such, after prolonged use,
    your battery is already suffering from wear.
[04:17] ---
    You are required to charge your
    phone several times a day.
[04:19] ---
    However! This is a school, and smartphone
    usage is prohibited per school regulations.
[04:24] ---
    The places at which you can
    recharge it are limited!
[04:27] ---
    But bear ye now witness to
    the advent of the Forbidden Charging Spot!
[04:32] ---
    Tanaka will come in search of I, Ueno the Girl Who Can
    Charge on Campus with Impunity and then
[04:40] ---
    through repetition, will come to associate me
    with his craving for all things cellphone related,
[04:44] ---
    such that before long, all his
    thoughts shall turn to ME!
[04:49] ---
    Ma'am, this is...
[04:51] ---
    It takes a while to recharge, doesn't it?
[04:53] ---
    Y-you just aren't being forceful enough.
[04:58] ---
    Oh. That makes sense.
[05:03] ---
    H-h-hey, hold on! Wait,
    wait, wait, wait, WAIT!
[05:10] ---
    Ooh! Look, Ma'am: It's totally different now.
[05:14] ---
    Go on, look. Take a look down there.
[05:17] ---
    Wow... It's really juicing
    up, much more than before.
[05:21] ---
    One last spurt and you'll get your fill!
[05:26] ---
    Where do you get off stroking the thighs
    of a VIRGINAL young girl, you sick pervert?!
[05:31] ---
    You're the one that
    instigated the stroking...
[05:33] ---
    Dammit!
[05:36] ---
    Ow...
[05:38] ---
    Come on, Ma'am.
[05:40] ---
    Oh.
[05:42] ---
    Looks like it's done charging.
[05:44] ---
    I swear, you get full of
    yourself and then just...
[05:47] ---
    Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub.
[05:50] ---
    You STILL want to stroke me?!
[05:53] ---
    Ma'am, please give me my cellphone back.
[06:02] ---
    LAB
[06:03] ---
    LAB
    Experiment No. 18
    SQ-Water
[06:04] ---
    Oh my...
[06:05] ---
    Experiment No. 18
    SQ-Water
[06:06] ---
    I forgot to wear THAT underneath.
[06:08] ---
    Sumo a la Word Chain
[06:09] ---
    I've been so busy since noon.
[06:12] ---
    Well, fine. I can put some on pretty quick...
[06:16] ---
    SCIENCE
[06:16] ---
    There we go. First, I've gotta
    pull this all the way down...
[06:22] ---
    Hold it right there!
[06:25] ---
    Why the hell are you tryin'
    to leave without even saying anything?!
[06:28] ---
    Well, you made it sound like you
    were going to change your clothes, so...
[06:32] ---
    So what, Tanaka?
[06:34] ---
    A girl indicates she's going to
    disrobe, and you choose to simply leave your seat?!
[06:38] ---
    I guess...
[06:39] ---
    Aaand there you go, second-guessing
    your earlier "gentlemanly" behavior.
[06:45] ---
    Just what on Earth is it that you want, hm?!
[06:47] ---
    Even perverts know when to
    draw the line, you know!
[06:49] ---
    LAB
[06:49] ---
    There's no way I could change in front of a
    horrible man-beast like you! Get the hell out!
[06:53] ---
    The way you criticize people makes NO sense.
[06:55] ---
    Yamashita, spread the purifying salt!
[06:58] ---
    Shake, shake. Shake.
[06:59] ---
    Let me know when you're done changing, okay?
[07:03] ---
    All done!
[07:07] ---
    Maybe, size-wise, it's a LITTLE small...
[07:11] ---
    Are you going to the pool or something?
[07:13] ---
    Oh, my. It would seem the
    young man is somewhat mistaken...
[07:16] ---
    This is in fact today's
    special item, the SQ-Water!
[07:21] ---
    Space Quantum! Imaginary Underwater Clothing!
[07:24] ---
    It interprets fluctuation rates in
    spatial quantum density as waves,
[07:27] ---
    with water molecules expelled from
    the device acting as a catch mechanism
[07:30] ---
    that allows one to ride the resulting,
    non-existential waves!
[07:34] ---
    Put simply, when this device absorbs water...
[07:47] ---
    Ma'am! You're floating!
[07:50] ---
    Yes. I am indeed floating.
[07:53] ---
    This garment is one giant leap toward
    breaking free of our land-based constraints
[07:58] ---
    and embracing the new world of the heavens!
[08:01] ---
    Stroke! Stroke, stroke!
[08:03] ---
    Wow! That looks like a lot of fun.
    Stroke! Stroke, stroke!
[08:07] ---
    Chortle! How naive you are!
[08:10] ---
    This half-clothed, aquatic-like state
    allows me to be observed in ALL directions,
[08:16] ---
    which no doubt fills you with trepidation!
[08:20] ---
    Let this be burned onto your retinas:
[08:22] ---
    A heavenly angel that can
    be seen but cannot be touched...
[08:26] ---
    Like unto a shaft of light, granted to
    illuminate the plight of the most pitiable of swine!
[08:34] ---
    So, if you use that, you
    can fly in the air, right?
[08:37] ---
    OINK!
[08:39] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
[08:39] ---
    M-my apologies for letting
    your imagination run wild.
[08:42] ---
    By nature, in order for this device to process
    the maximum amount of quantum flow,
[08:45] ---
    its use is relegated to confined
    spaces such as these.
[08:49] ---
    Oh, really?
[08:51] ---
    For example, should the door
    to this classroom suddenly
[08:55] ---
    be opened, the quantum flow
    would go outward and-
[08:59] ---
    Brother! You said you'd lend me
    your Thermos after class today!
[09:30] ---
    Ma'am!
[09:32] ---
    Mizuna! Close the door, now!
[09:35] ---
    What about the Thermos?!
[09:46] ---
    Just hurry up and close it!
[09:57] ---
    Sneak, sneak, sneak...
[10:02] ---
    Oh.
[10:04] ---
    Wow, that talk about a shock!
    This is what happens, huh?
[10:07] ---
    How long are you...
[10:10] ---
    gonna keep groping young
    girls in sexy poses?!
[10:13] ---
    You puckered anus!
[10:16] ---
    Grumble, grumble! I swear...
[10:20] ---
    She asked for help, but THIS is how she acts?
[10:23] ---
    Also, I wonder what Mizuna wanted...
[10:27] ---
    I'd say that calls for a family meeting.