E2 - Dass-Tan - 1-7-6 Protective Gear

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    EXPERIMENT NO. 3
    DASH-TAN
[00:05] ---
    SCIENCE
    EXPERIMENT NO. 3
    DASH-TAN
[00:06] ---
    SCIENCE
[00:06] ---
    Ma'am... What IS this?
[00:08] ---
    Don't get all worked up over it, Tanaka!
[00:12] ---
    Ma'am, everything is ready.
[00:14] ---
    Nice! Okay, let's begin!
[00:18] ---
    Give me your underwear, Tanaka.
[00:19] ---
    Are you a perv or something?
[00:20] ---
    Give me your underwear, Tanaka!
[00:22] ---
    Are you a perv or something?
[01:23] ---
    What are you talking about?
    That's just weird..
[01:25] ---
    I need you to drop those drawers!
[01:28] ---
    It's so I can test out my latest invention...
[01:31] ---
    Dash-tan, the instant deodorizer!
[01:34] ---
    Dash-tan emits mysterious
    electromagnetic waves at its target,
[01:38] ---
    allowing it to instantly smite any and all odors,
    guiding them straight to the heavens.
[01:44] ---
    And it's self-propelled!
[01:47] ---
    I don't think that's really necessary...
[01:49] ---
    In any case, we need the right medium
    to test its ability to deodorize.
[01:53] ---
    After consulting with Yamashita,
    it was determined that the
[01:56] ---
    most odoriferous substance at hand
[01:58] ---
    is YOUR underwear!
[01:59] ---
    It was your drawers hands down, Tanaka!
[02:02] ---
    This is beyond rude...
[02:04] ---
    Now then! We won't mind at all,
    so go ahead and drop those pants.
[02:07] ---
    But I'LL mind! Please stop
    always just picking on me.
[02:13] ---
    Why can't all three of us bring something?
[02:16] ---
    True, the more samples, the better...
[02:19] ---
    What do you say, Yamashita?
[02:21] ---
    Your reasoning is sound.
[02:23] ---
    All right, fine.
[02:25] ---
    We shall contribute something
    as well. However!
[02:27] ---
    This is a one-time deal!
[02:28] ---
    Please do it EVERY time.
[02:33] ---
    Standing there demanding that girls give up
[02:35] ---
    their panties... You're a real piece
    of garbage, aren't you?!
[02:37] ---
    No, this isn't what I meant!
[02:40] ---
    Tanaka, you give up your indoor slippers.
    Yamashita, we'll take your socks.
[02:44] ---
    And I, Ueno...
[02:46] ---
    shall contribute these tights!
[02:49] ---
    Now then, first off...
[02:51] ---
    Okay, Yamashita. I'll take these.
[02:54] ---
    What do you mean?
[02:56] ---
    Please smell each item.
[02:58] ---
    Huh?!
[02:59] ---
    We have to, or we won't know
    if the deodorization worked.
[03:03] ---
    I will take the first sniff.
[03:05] ---
    Hmm, hmm... Yes, I see.
[03:08] ---
    Huff, huff...
[03:09] ---
    Sure enough, these are a schoolgirl's socks,
    worn all day until well after class.
[03:13] ---
    That was unoriginal.
[03:14] ---
    You're up next, Tanaka!
[03:20] ---
    You fool. You've dug your own grave!
[03:22] ---
    This was all your idea, so
    there's no way you can refuse!
[03:26] ---
    And now, worm, you will sniff
    the tights of a girl that's right in front of you
[03:29] ---
    and experience the SHAME of
    having to share your thoughts!
[03:32] ---
    Go on, squirm in protest as you always do!
[03:35] ---
    Oh, it looks like he's
    already smelling them...
[03:38] ---
    Bweheheh! I get it:
    You dove right in to cover up your embarrassment.
[03:42] ---
    But you lack conviction, Tanaka!
[03:45] ---
    The shame is starting to show on your face.
[03:48] ---
    Bweheheh.
[03:49] ---
    Bweheheh!
[03:52] ---
    These STINK!
[03:56] ---
    W-well, if they didn't stink,
    they wouldn't make for good test samples.
[03:59] ---
    True, but these are just...
[04:02] ---
    They reek!
[04:04] ---
    Wait, this... Huh?
[04:08] ---
    Does this always happen?
[04:11] ---
    Senpai, please let me see those.
[04:14] ---
    Sniff. Sniff, sniff.
[04:16] ---
    No, I'd say these are normal.
[04:18] ---
    No way!
[04:20] ---
    My socks are about the same.
[04:22] ---
    Fine, then let me see your socks.
[04:27] ---
    No, Ueno-san's tights smell WAY worse.
[04:30] ---
    I'm telling you, they're the same!
[04:32] ---
    Yamashita-san, you don't get it
    because this is YOUR smell.
[04:36] ---
    Ueno Tanaka Yamashita
    W... Wait. Look at Yamashita's socks!
[04:37] ---
    But Tanaka-san's tights stink
    like eight of your socks!
[04:40] ---
    They don't stink!
[04:42] ---
    Well, I think we've got the general idea.
    Let's go deodorize these.
[04:45] ---
    We'll do nothing of the sort!
[04:47] ---
    Huh?
[04:48] ---
    They don't need cleaning
    because they don't stink!
[04:50] ---
    SCIENCE
[04:51] ---
    I know if something stinks, and those stink!
[04:53] ---
    No! No way, forget it!
[04:55] ---
    They don't smell, so they're fine as is!
[04:58] ---
    Let's clean them while we have the chance!
[05:01] ---
    This is a GOOD smell, one
    that's unique to us girls!
[05:04] ---
    No, it's nothing cute like that!
    These things reek, period!
[05:09] ---
    They don't stink! What
    are you talking about?!
[05:11] ---
    They DO stink! It's a fact!
[05:15] ---
    Ma'am!
[05:20] ---
    Ma'am!
[05:26] ---
    MA'AM!
[05:35] ---
    LAB
[05:36] ---
    LAB
    EXPERIMENT NO. 4
    1-7-6 PROTECTIVE GEAR
[05:36] ---
    Hmm, yeah...
[05:39] ---
    EXPERIMENT NO. 4
    1-7-6 PROTECTIVE GEAR
[05:39] ---
    Hold on a minute.
[05:46] ---
    I see right through you, Tanaka.
[05:48] ---
    I'm sure you've already noticed...
[05:51] ---
    That there's something different
    about this body, that is!
[05:55] ---
    Thickness
    Shock-absorbing gel
[05:55] ---
    One minute ago...
[05:57] ---
    Put simply! Beneath this seven-layer,
    ultra-thin elastic material
[05:57] ---
    Thickness
[06:02] ---
    lie six layers of shock-absorbing gel.
[06:04] ---
    With this, I was able to make
    protective clothing no thicker than normal fabric,
[06:07] ---
    yet able to absorb any and all attacks.
[06:09] ---
    Wow...
[06:10] ---
    But, you didn't bring it with you today?
[06:12] ---
    Hmph! Do you not get it, Tanaka?
[06:15] ---
    This "1-7-6 protective gear"
    that I have perfected...
[06:19] ---
    is already upon my person!
[06:22] ---
    If you can deduce where it is,
    then strike me with everything you've got!
[06:25] ---
    You will tremble in fear at
    how thin yet effective it is!
[06:29] ---
    Whoever guesses correctly shall
    receive this as a present!
[06:32] ---
    I don't really care about that.
[06:35] ---
    Naturally I, Ueno, have outfitted
    myself with Bra-Type Protective Gear.
[06:38] ---
    Taking my normal appearance into account,
    the difference should be obvious.
[06:43] ---
    Thus, I am unbeatable!
[06:44] ---
    UNBEATABLE
[06:46] ---
    Touching a woman's chest is,
    of course, forbidden! What's more...
[06:51] ---
    Tanaka is the picture of male puberty.
[06:53] ---
    At his age, he tries to hide
    when he's getting an eyeful of cleavage...
SIGN    (Forcible Indecency) Article 176 / A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits an indecent act upon a male or female of not less than 13 years of age shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not less than six months but not more than 10 years.
[06:57] ---
    but he's going to have to openly stare
    if he wants to get the deets on these teats!
[07:01] ---
    If he does that to where he
    can point out the difference,
[07:03] ---
    he'll be admitting that he's
    aware of my normal bust size!
[07:06] ---
    And the crux of this artfully
    crafted, multi-layered trap:
[07:09] ---
    Forever after, Tanaka's thoughts
    will turn to the jiggle of these jugs!
[07:14] ---
    Ah! I've got it!
[07:16] ---
    Oh...
[07:30] ---
    Wait a damn minute!
[07:33] ---
    How dare you smack a young girl's
    pert buttocks, you ape?!
[07:37] ---
    Well, you were the one who
    told me to hit you hard.
[07:40] ---
    But not HERE! Not here,
    dammit! Not friggin here!
[07:43] ---
    Tone it down a notch!
[07:45] ---
    You need to look somewhere you usually don't!
[07:51] ---
    Come on, take a good look at-
[07:53] ---
    Ah! This has GOT to be it!
[07:58] ---
    Dammit...
[08:00] ---
    I JUST TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT THERE!
[08:03] ---
    No, I'm sure it is. You always
    wear tights, but not today.
[08:07] ---
    I took them off because you kept
    saying how much they stink, you idiot!
[08:13] ---
    Hey, hold on. You're trying to
    smack me AGAIN, aren't you?
[08:18] ---
    Yamashita, help-!
[08:20] ---
    LAB
[08:25] ---
    Ma'am, can you please stop
    acting like it hurts?
[08:28] ---
    You should have cut that
    out after the first slap.
[08:33] ---
    Time out.
[08:34] ---
    Time out, time out! To be continued!
[08:37] ---
    Dammit! I swear, there's
    something wrong with that boy!
[08:42] ---
    Ma'am.
[08:49] ---
    You can't get away.
[08:54] ---
    I know what you're up to.
    You're calling time out so you can change, right?
[08:57] ---
    N-no!
[08:59] ---
    You always do this sort of thing.
[09:04] ---
    SMACK
[09:04] ---
    Look, just fess up. Drop the act already!
[09:04] ---
    SLAP
    SMACK
[09:05] ---
    SLAP
[09:05] ---
    POW
[09:06] ---
    WHACK
[09:06] ---
    SLAP
[09:07] ---
    POW!
[09:08] ---
    WHAM
[09:08] ---
    SMAAACK
[09:09] ---
    BLAM
SIGN     A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits an indecent act upon a male or female of not less than 13 years of age shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not less than six months but not more than 10 years. (Revisions made to Articles 156 (2004) and 72 (2016))
[09:13] ---
    This is it. I'm right, aren't I?
[09:19] ---
    Yes, that's it! You're right!
[09:25] ---
    It was obvious from the start,
    so there's no reason to cry.
[09:29] ---
    I'm going home now.
[09:30] ---
    Ah, Ma'am!
[09:32] ---
    What?
[09:38] ---
    Let me have that gear or whatever.
[09:40] ---
    You said you'd give it to
    me if I guessed correctly.
[09:42] ---
    Y-you bastard!
[09:45] ---
    Wait, hold on. Keep calm
    and make the right call.
[09:48] ---
    If I push back too hard, this
    ass of mine is done for.
[09:52] ---
    This time, I'll do as he says
    and bring this thing to a close.
[09:56] ---
    Still, I can't give him what's not there.
[10:00] ---
    Think, Ueno! What can I do?
[10:04] ---
    Huh... THIS is your protective gear?
    They just look like regular panties.
[10:09] ---
    B-because I made them that way.
[10:12] ---
    You know, I've thought
    this for a while now...
[10:17] ---
    You really have no fashion sense, do you?
[10:21] ---
    Still, it's not like I'd have any use for these,
    so you can have them back.
[10:26] ---
    Just kill me already!
[10:30] ---