E1 - Rocker-Kun - Kumatander No. 2

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 1
    Rocker-kun
[00:05] ---
    Lab
    Science Club
    Experiment No. 1
    Rocker-kun
[00:05] ---
    Lab
    Science Club
[00:12] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[00:13] ---
    You're REALLY late, Tanaka!
[00:15] ---
    We've already gotten things started!
[00:17] ---
    I'm sorry, Ma'am. Homeroom ran late, so...
[00:20] ---
    Hmph! Well, fine.
[00:21] ---
    More importantly, take a look at
    THIS. I've finally finished it!
[00:25] ---
    This is the ultimate in portable filtration.
    I call it, "Rocker-kun"!
[00:27] ---
    FILTER
[00:29] ---
    An original product,
    the result of of painstaking research: Rocker-kun!
[00:34] ---
    Using this, one can turn even
    the most fetid of waters into an oasis,
[00:37] ---
    like that which bubbles
    forth from a natural spring!
[00:42] ---
    Huh...
[00:43] ---
    Well, Tanaka? Pretty awesome, huh?
[00:46] ---
    Now then! I present to you
    my own purified urine.
[00:48] ---
    She's showing off her pee!
[00:50] ---
    Put that away, please. It's gross.
[00:52] ---
    Wha?! It's not gross at all!
[00:54] ---
    Rocker-kun has turned even the foul waters
    expelled from I, Ueno head of the Science Club -
[00:58] ---
    into the scented liquids
    of a 3rd year middle school student!
[01:01] ---
    You don't have to put
    yourself down like that...
[01:03] ---
    And so! You must drink my urine, Tanaka!
[01:05] ---
    Is this girl okay in the head...?
[01:07] ---
    Wait, why would I drink
    THAT? What are you saying?
[01:10] ---
    If you don't, you can't know
    the awesome power of Rocker-kun, right?
[01:13] ---
    There must be some other way!
[01:15] ---
    You sure are putting up a fight.
    You just don't want to drink my pee, do you?
[01:19] ---
    That's right.
[01:20] ---
    Listen up, Tanaka: Experiments like these
[01:20] ---
    KAPPA
    SIGHTINGS
[01:22] ---
    hinge on time, place, and opportunity!
[01:24] ---
    When Rocker-kun becomes needed,
    it's a matter of SURVIVAL!
[01:27] ---
    No matter the situation,
    your surefire water source, of the quality you need...
[01:34] ---
    IS RIGHT HERE!
[01:35] ---
    Could you not put that there, please?
[01:38] ---
    Well?! Drink my fluids
    so that you may survive!
[01:42] ---
    I'd rather not drink from those waters...
[01:44] ---
    You have no sense of danger, do you?
    If this were Hell, you would've died long ago!
[01:48] ---
    I wouldn't be in Hell
    unless I was already dead.
[01:50] ---
    You've forced my hand...
[01:53] ---
    Hey, Yamashita!
[01:56] ---
    Start drinking my pee.
[01:57] ---
    I could sue you for sexual harassment, Ma'am.
[02:00] ---
    Now, now. Just try some first.
[02:02] ---
    She doesn't want to!
[02:06] ---
    Fine. I get it, Yamashita.
[02:08] ---
    Normally, that would cost 100 yen!
[02:11] ---
    You okay, Yamashita-san?
[02:12] ---
    That pee had neither taste nor odor...
[02:14] ---
    Yes!
[02:16] ---
    Yamashita's tasted it, so now it's YOUR turn.
[02:19] ---
    If she's already had some,
    that should be enough, right?
[02:21] ---
    It's pointless unless YOU drink it, too!
[02:24] ---
    Why are you making this all about me?
[02:28] ---
    "Why?" You stupid...
[02:30] ---
    What?
[02:32] ---
    You dumb sonofa...
[02:36] ---
    Of COURSE I want you to drink this!
[02:40] ---
    Huh?
[02:47] ---
    But why?
[02:48] ---
    Tanaka!
[02:50] ---
    I swear, you've always been this way!
[02:53] ---
    I still don't get it.
[02:55] ---
    So...You need me to drink your
    filtered pee to confirm your experiment, right?
[03:01] ---
    Yamashita-san already did that,
    yet you still want me to drink...
[03:06] ---
    Ah! So then...
[03:08] ---
    You're being mean to me?
[03:10] ---
    Just drink it already!
[03:12] ---
    Drink it and be grateful,
    Tanaka! This is MY pee!
[03:17] ---
    Look, what do you want from me?
[03:17] ---
    I made this pee!
    Look, what do you want from me?
[03:19] ---
    Drink, dammit!
[03:20] ---
    Stop it! C'mon, that's dirty!
[03:22] ---
    It's NOT dirty! It's been purified!
[03:24] ---
    Still, it's pee. That's pee!
[03:26] ---
    Okay, time out! Seriously, that's
    gross. It's REALLY gross!
[03:33] ---
    Stop calling me "gross," you stupid idiot!
[03:37] ---
    This is a difficult time for me!
[03:40] ---
    This doesn't seem like the behavior
    of someone who keeps talking about urine..
[03:44] ---
    Tanaka-senpai, you've gone too far.
[03:46] ---
    I'm sorry, but she's acting
    pretty weird today.
[03:50] ---
    She is indeed acting irrationally...
[03:50] ---
    My pee... All my pee! I tried so hard,
    and drank 10 liters of water to pump all this out!
[03:53] ---
    But I can understand her thinking.
[03:53] ---
    My pee... All my pee! I tried so hard,
    and drank 10 liters of water to pump all this out!
[03:55] ---
    But I can understand her thinking.
[03:55] ---
    I drank so much, I got all swollen!
[03:56] ---
    Huh?
[03:58] ---
    The truth is, she wants to
    be upfront with her feelings,
[04:04] ---
    but the thought has made her too nervous.
[04:08] ---
    I think that's why she chose
    this mistaken route instead.
[04:12] ---
    But it will be all right, Ma'am.
[04:15] ---
    I'm sure Tanaka-senpai will come around.
[04:17] ---
    Yamashita...
[04:19] ---
    Senpai, THIS is how serious she is.
[04:23] ---
    The rest is up to you. Please decide.
[04:28] ---
    Nope, I'm not drinking that.
[04:30] ---
    Dammit, Tanaka!
[04:31] ---
    This is when you should
    have gulped it all down!
[04:35] ---
    What's your problem, Tanaka?!
[04:37] ---
    Huh...?
[04:39] ---
    What IS your problem? You just stand like
    an idiot when someone says they like you?!
[04:42] ---
    Actually, no one's ever told me that...
[04:45] ---
    You've just been told! In
    the present progressive!
[04:48] ---
    Huh? By whom?!
[04:50] ---
    Just die already!
[04:52] ---
    You certainly are cranky today.
    If there are no club activities, I'm going home.
[04:57] ---
    Hey! Hold on one second! Tanaka!
[05:02] ---
    That fool simply left!
[05:04] ---
    How can he be so dense?!
[05:06] ---
    He's been that way ever
    since he joined the club!
[05:10] ---
    Eat me!
    Like that one time...
[05:11] ---
    I give you.
    And that other time!
[05:11] ---
    I Give YOU
[05:14] ---
    Then, when I was worried they'd shut down our club
    
[05:16] ---
    with the seniors moving on
    and it just being us two,
[05:18] ---
    he was like, "I'm sure two will be enough."
    Tanaka totally didn't think anything of it!
[05:24] ---
    Still...
[05:25] ---
    That's what I like about him!
[05:30] ---
    Ma'am...
[05:32] ---
    Maybe you should just slip it
    into his water bottle next time.
[05:34] ---
    No. I'm going to to mix it into his school lunch,
    then tell everyone over the intercom.
[05:39] ---
    That's. Just. Cruel.
[05:40] ---
    FILTER
[05:46] ---
    LAB
[05:47] ---
    LAB
    EXPERIMENT 2
    KUMATANDER NO. 2
[05:48] ---
    Be sure to hold it steady, okay?
[05:51] ---
    Hey, are you listening?
[05:52] ---
    You're not peeking up my skirt, right?
[05:56] ---
    Hey, dammit!
[05:57] ---
    You need to go along with the skit, Tanaka!
[06:00] ---
    I'm not really a fan of the theater.
[06:02] ---
    Who do you think I'm doing this for?!
[06:04] ---
    That's enough. Please just
    give me the bullet points.
[06:06] ---
    You sure are selfish, Tanaka!
[06:08] ---
    I swear, it would be nothing
    but trouble if we lived together.
[06:12] ---
    What do you mean by that?
[06:14] ---
    Just forget it already, you damn fool!
[06:16] ---
    Ahem. In any case...
[06:19] ---
    As we just saw, scoundrels tend to focus
    their gaze on the lower half of girls' bodies.
[06:23] ---
    One can infer that the reason
    for this lies in these frilly pleats!
[06:27] ---
    It stands to reason that the expectation of
[06:29] ---
    PANTIES being under this thin sheet of
    draped cloth fans the flames of carnal lust!
[06:33] ---
    And so...
[06:34] ---
    I present THIS!
[06:36] ---
    Kumatander No. 2!
[06:38] ---
    It is capable of manipulating
    the mysterious dark matter of outer space,
[06:41] ---
    allowing it to render a localized
    area completely invisible!
[06:46] ---
    Let's do this. Switch ON!
[06:48] ---
    Did it do anything?
[06:51] ---
    There, Tanaka! Take a look!
[06:56] ---
    Yamashita's glasses are
    brimming with dark matter!
[06:58] ---
    Maybe they're just sunglasses...
[07:00] ---
    Well? Pretty awesome, huh?
    Put simply, with one of these under your skirt...
[07:03] ---
    the panty region, which up
    till now has been on full display,
[07:06] ---
    can become like that of a figurine
    that has no intention of showing you the goods!
[07:11] ---
    Okay, now for today's main topic!
[07:13] ---
    Kumatander No. 2 can prevent panty shots...
[07:15] ---
    but to what angle will
    skirt access be blocked?! Let's test it out!
[07:21] ---
    We'll verify by lifting a skirt in 10-degree
    increments up to 120 degrees!
[07:25] ---
    Tanaka, you'll be taking
    notes. For real, okay?
[07:28] ---
    Understood.
[07:30] ---
    We'll start from zero degrees.
[07:31] ---
    RRRRUMBLE
[07:35] ---
    Check. Nothing visible.
[07:37] ---
    Wait just a moment.
[07:39] ---
    You need to sneak a peek from down HERE.
[07:40] ---
    Whaaat?
[07:41] ---
    This will do. I can't see anything.
[07:44] ---
    It won't do at all!
[07:45] ---
    This experiment is to verify
    its preventative abilities!
[07:48] ---
    You have to look in there! All up in there!
[07:50] ---
    But no one would try
    peering up a skirt from directly below.
[07:52] ---
    Just hurry and get an eyeful already!
[07:54] ---
    You're being oddly stubborn about this...
[07:56] ---
    I have NEVER heard a guy
    complain so much about being
[07:59] ---
    voluntarily invited to get
    up in a girl's crotch!
[08:01] ---
    Let's see
[08:06] ---
    Well, Tanaka?!
[08:07] ---
    Ah. Yes, no problem. All is hidden.
[08:10] ---
    Very well. So far, so good.
[08:13] ---
    I can't see... Can't see...
[08:13] ---
    Oh, that's right! There's
    something I forgot to mention.
[08:17] ---
    I have the utmost confidence in this device:
    thus, I can say with certainty
[08:20] ---
    that getting a look up
    this skirt is impossible!
[08:22] ---
    However, that makes for a
    rather humdrum experiment,
[08:25] ---
    which is why I have given
    myself a form of handicap...
[08:29] ---
    and I am wearing nothing underneath!
[08:35] ---
    ...What?
[08:35] ---
    Good Lord, are you DEAD?!
[08:38] ---
    I'm already looking from down here,
    so just lift it up to 40 degrees, please.
[08:42] ---
    What kind of attitude is that to have
    when asking a girl to lift up her skirt, you bastard?!
[08:46] ---
    HYAAAA!
[08:48] ---
    Check. No problem at 80 degrees either.
[08:51] ---
    Okay! Then it's time for
    the all-important 90-degree angle!
[08:56] ---
    Normally, this angle would put one's panties
    on full display.
[08:59] ---
    You know what that means, right?
[09:01] ---
    Well, Tanaka-kun?!
[09:05] ---
    Okay, next in line, please.
[09:08] ---
    You're quite good at playing the fool,
    Mr. Tight-Lipped Tanaka...
[09:12] ---
    but I know you are already
    approaching the boundaries of reason!
[09:16] ---
    You were a fool to step into
    the diabolical darkness of I, Ueno.
[09:19] ---
    Regret it all you want, but it's too late!
[09:25] ---
    Check. Can't see anything.
[09:26] ---
    Be embarrassed already!
[09:29] ---
    A girl just lifted her skirt all the way up
    when she's not wearing any panties!
[09:32] ---
    You need to need to have
    a suitable reaction, you damn fool!
[09:35] ---
    But, I couldn't see anything...
[09:38] ---
    You should totally be imagining how beneath that
    darkness, THAT lies completely exposed!
[09:42] ---
    What do you mean, "that"?
[09:44] ---
    I mean THAT, of course!
    That! The one and only "that"! You know, THAT!
[09:48] ---
    Please be more specific.
[09:52] ---
    C'mon, hurry.
[09:53] ---
    This idiot!
[09:57] ---
    ...don't.
[09:58] ---
    Sorry? I can't hear you.
[10:02] ---
    L-like, guys have a thing that girls don't.
[10:06] ---
    Why are you suddenly spouting riddles?
[10:08] ---
    It's not a riddle! It's a fact!
[10:11] ---
    Then please show it to me.
[10:13] ---
    Huh?
[10:16] ---
    Yamashita, help!
[10:19] ---
    I can't get a good look, so
    I'm going to switch this off.
[10:21] ---
    What? What?!
[10:25] ---
    YAMASHITA!