Skip to main content

2 - There's Only You

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    A miserable fate, wallowing in petty evil.
[00:04] ---
    Is it a dream or reality?
[00:06] ---
    Light or darkness?
[00:08] ---
    The divine words come to mind,
    then disappears.

[00:11] ---
    But during that time, it flickers.
[00:13] ---
    This evening's entertainment
    speaks to such tidings.

[00:16] ---
    It's about an unresolvable grudge
    that is yet satisfied.

[01:53] ---
    Take this.
[01:59] ---
    If you really want revenge,
[02:03] ---
    untie that red string.
[02:06] ---
    By untying it, you and I
    will officially have a contract.
[02:11] ---
    The person you have a grudge against
    will be dispatched to Hell promptly.
[02:16] ---
    But once that vengeance is carried out,
[02:19] ---
    you will also pay a price.
[02:22] ---
    Cursing someone is a double-edged sword.
[02:24] ---
    If you form this contract,
    your soul will also go to Hell.
[02:30] ---
    Although that's after you die.
[02:32] ---
    Instead of going to Heaven,
[02:35] ---
    your soul will be subjected
    to pain and suffering
[02:39] ---
    as it wanders through Hell for eternity.
[02:42] ---
    I'm exhausted.
[02:44] ---
    I thought it would end
    if she went away, but...
[02:50] ---
    The rest is up to you.
[02:55] ---
    I guess I can't do it after all!
[02:58] ---
    I can't do that to Nanako.
[03:03] ---
    Take this back.
[03:06] ---
    THERE'S ONLY YOU
[03:16] ---
    Good morning!
[03:18] ---
    Haru, you're carrying stuff
    even though you're famous?
[03:20] ---
    Her partner probably makes her do it.
[03:22] ---
    Is it true Queen Nanako stole your man?
[03:25] ---
    For real?
[03:26] ---
    That's just silly!
[03:29] ---
    Is that your idea notebook?
[03:31] ---
    Yes, this is the only thing
    I still use to write by hand.

[03:36] ---
    So you come up with the ideas, Nanako?
[03:39] ---
    Yes, I'm the brains of the operation.
[03:42] ---
    In exchange, I have my partner, Haru,
    do all the chores and stuff at home.
[03:48] ---
    You live together, right?
[03:51] ---
    Good morning!
[03:53] ---
    You're late, Haru.
[03:55] ---
    Not cola! I said oolong tea!
[03:58] ---
    Huh?
[03:59] ---
    Don't give me that "Huh?"
    Run back out!
[04:01] ---
    R-Run? This is the fifth floor.
[04:04] ---
    So?
[04:06] ---
    Okay! I'll be right back!
[04:10] ---
    That's rough.
[04:13] ---
    She promised to do anything
    when we became partners three years ago.
[04:16] ---
    Promised?
[04:20] ---
    Slide! Slide!
[04:21] ---
    P-Princess! Don't be loud!
[04:23] ---
    Why not? Slide! Slide!
[04:25] ---
    Excuse me, folks! It's almost showtime!
[04:32] ---
    A comedy-only theater, huh?
[04:35] ---
    I bet this is a place where the performers'
    jealousy piles up like leaves.
[04:41] ---
    Her...
[04:42] ---
    Why did you come here?
[04:44] ---
    Nobody summoned you.
[04:46] ---
    What are you doing here?
[04:50] ---
    I'm Ai Enma.
[04:53] ---
    How about you?
[04:54] ---
    I...
[04:56] ---
    I...
[04:58] ---
    Milady, who is that girl?
[05:01] ---
    She's forgotten her own identity.
[05:08] ---
    Hello! We're Chaos Sweets!
[05:11] ---
    I'm Macaron Nanako!
[05:13] ---
    And I'm Gelato Haru!
[05:14] ---
    - Skit time!
    - Skit time!
[05:17] ---
    Mama and Child! Haru!
[05:19] ---
    - Yes?
    - Good answer!
[05:21] ---
    Haru, what do you want to be
    when you get older?
[05:22] ---
    For the last ten years, neither Haru nor I
    made any headway, no matter what.
[05:26] ---
    Haru was even the "straight man"
    with a different partner.
[05:30] ---
    I bet you can't even picture Haru
    in the straight man role, right?
[05:34] ---
    I had a solo act then, but for some reason,
[05:37] ---
    Haru got on her hands and knees
    and begged me to team up with her,
[05:40] ---
    saying she'd do anything.
[05:42] ---
    As for the material, Nanako tells me
    to do this or that, and I do it.

[05:46] ---
    We say "skit time" and go from there!
[05:51] ---
    And that's our report on Chaos Sweets,
[05:54] ---
    the young comedy duo
    that's rising in popularity.

[05:57] ---
    Isn't it incredible?
    We've been doing interviews every day!
[06:00] ---
    It's just like you planned, Haru. We're a hit!
[06:03] ---
    You really are a genius!
[06:06] ---
    Nanako, your comeback line here is late.
[06:09] ---
    You're still looking at my face
    before you deliver the line.
[06:12] ---
    I see. I'm sorry.
[06:19] ---
    Hey, did you see this? A lot of bloggers
    are talking about us, too.
[06:23] ---
    Look, they say they love you, Haru.
[06:27] ---
    But this kind ticks me off!
[06:29] ---
    It says, "They suddenly became popular
    so I'm sure they'll disappear just as fast."
[06:32] ---
    But it's true.
[06:34] ---
    We're not going to disappear!
[06:39] ---
    Eat before the food gets cold.
[06:41] ---
    People in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 80s!
[06:44] ---
    I'll try harder!
[06:46] ---
    Right now I'm really happy.
[06:48] ---
    And it's not because we're popular.
    Although it's partially because of that...
[06:52] ---
    At first I wasn't sure
    about claiming to write the material
[06:54] ---
    when you're the one
    who comes up with it.
[06:59] ---
    But now I get it!
[07:00] ---
    "Macaron Nanako" is also your material!
[07:03] ---
    I've become one of your creations!
[07:08] ---
    The opposite?
[07:09] ---
    That's right. The opposite.
[07:11] ---
    The goofball character is the one
    who writes the material,
[07:14] ---
    and the "straight woman" supports her.
[07:16] ---
    Why would it matter who does what?
[07:19] ---
    Why do they lie about it?
[07:20] ---
    I don't know. She called herself
    one of Haru's creations.
[07:23] ---
    Creation, huh?
[07:25] ---
    But if Nanako is the one
    who follows orders, why...
[07:29] ---
    Skit time!
[07:31] ---
    Princess!
[07:32] ---
    Kikuri!
[07:32] ---
    You don't have any business here!
[07:34] ---
    You're the dunce character, old lady!
    I'm the joker!
[07:37] ---
    Jeez.
[07:38] ---
    C'mon, make a joke!
[07:39] ---
    Okay, all that's left...
[07:40] ---
    Yep.
[07:40] ---
    Me?
[07:41] ---
    ...is reporting in to Milady.
[07:41] ---
    Now, go!
[07:43] ---
    Hurry up and make a joke! Make a joke!
[07:46] ---
    Shut up! We're leaving!
[07:53] ---
    - Good morning!
    - Good morning!
[07:56] ---
    So you finally got a manager?
[07:58] ---
    The manager is a hottie!
[08:01] ---
    What's this?
[08:02] ---
    Your name! What's your name?
[08:03] ---
    What time do you get off today?
[08:05] ---
    Please take me out!
[08:06] ---
    When can you take your next day off?
[08:08] ---
    Haru, why did you take on a solo job?
[08:13] ---
    Because you're doing that drama
    at the same time.
[08:15] ---
    I told you I didn't want to do it.
[08:18] ---
    I said I can't do anything without you.
[08:24] ---
    You also promised
    you'd do anything, so do this.
[08:27] ---
    But that's—
[08:32] ---
    Nanako, your drama starts
    shooting tomorrow.
[08:35] ---
    I'll pick you up at five in the morning.
[08:37] ---
    Haru, "Afternoon Live" starts at nine,
    so I'll come back to pick you up—
[08:41] ---
    No need. Stay with Nanako.
[08:44] ---
    I'm already used to these things.
[08:48] ---
    Sure.
[08:52] ---
    Haru, I poured you some tea.
[08:54] ---
    Coffee all the time is bad for your stomach,
    so I made herbal tea.
[09:03] ---
    Now that we're so busy, you don't have
    much time to write material, huh?
[09:07] ---
    Don't worry about me.
    An actress needs her sleep.
[09:11] ---
    Don't you have
    an early call time tomorrow?
[09:14] ---
    I'm staying right here.
[09:18] ---
    Supposedly Nanako's doing all the writing,
[09:20] ---
    so I need to understand
    that feeling of suffering.
[09:23] ---
    You've been acting a little weird lately.
[09:26] ---
    There's nothing weird about this.
    I'll be quiet.
[09:29] ---
    I won't interrupt you.
[09:47] ---
    He was at the theater
    the other night, wasn't he?
[09:50] ---
    Your former partner.
[09:53] ---
    I thought I saw him in the audience.
[09:55] ---
    You probably saw someone
    who looks like him.
[09:57] ---
    He's washed his hands of the comedy biz.
[09:59] ---
    He was still there.
[10:02] ---
    Maybe he came
    because you're famous now.
[10:05] ---
    Maybe he wants to be your partner again.
[10:08] ---
    Wh-What are you talking about?
[10:12] ---
    If he comes again,
    I can report him as a stalker, right?
[10:15] ---
    I mean, he's committed
    domestic violence before.
[10:19] ---
    That's creepy.
[10:25] ---
    Where are you going?
[10:26] ---
    Out for a drink!
[10:28] ---
    You can't!
[10:30] ---
    You have to write!
[10:31] ---
    What the hell are you doing?
[10:32] ---
    Wait! Do you plan on abandoning me?
[10:36] ---
    You really are creepy!
[10:38] ---
    After all, I can't live without you, Haru!
[10:41] ---
    That kind of talk just annoys me!
[10:46] ---
    I swear,
[10:48] ---
    all you do is drag me down!
[10:51] ---
    D-Drag you...
[10:53] ---
    You think I don't know?
[10:55] ---
    When you got that
    first regular role on TV,
[10:57] ---
    you slept with the producer, didn't you?
[10:59] ---
    Well, that's... That was...
[11:02] ---
    I promised I would do anything.
[11:05] ---
    Are you mocking me?
[11:33] ---
    I can't write I can't write
    I can't write I can't write

[11:37] ---
    I can't write
[11:38] ---
    Haru...
[11:41] ---
    I'll help you.
[11:45] ---
    HELL GIRL
[11:46] ---
    HELL GIRL
[11:48] ---
    Macaron Nanako
[11:49] ---
    Apparently they're behind schedule.
[11:51] ---
    Rest a little while.
[11:53] ---
    Steel yourself!
[11:55] ---
    Are you ready?
[12:01] ---
    Actually,
[12:02] ---
    Serial Drama
    FOREST OF TROPICAL FISH
    Episode 2
[12:02] ---
    I couldn't come up with any material.
[12:06] ---
    When I'm thinking of material,
    I always get snippy.
[12:10] ---
    I can't think of anything,
    so I just lash out...
[12:14] ---
    at Haru.
[12:16] ---
    But I know why I haven't been
    able to think of anything lately.
[12:20] ---
    I'm grateful for the increase in solo work,
[12:23] ---
    but I really want to do comedy.
    The two of us, you know?
[12:27] ---
    So I want you to let us do a concert.
[12:29] ---
    I feel like if we get one big shot,
[12:31] ---
    I'll be able to write material
    again like before!
[12:34] ---
    I'm sure of it!
[12:36] ---
    Would you ask the president for me?
[12:38] ---
    Tell him it's just for this one time.
[12:46] ---
    You look worn out.
[12:50] ---
    I just don't get it.
[12:52] ---
    The world of show business...
[12:53] ---
    Those two... It's all a mystery.
[13:01] ---
    Nanako
[13:08] ---
    You've really changed,
    in just three years.
[13:10] ---
    Is that an insult?
[13:12] ---
    You've changed. It's like the difference
    between Heaven and Earth.
[13:15] ---
    So why'd you call me out of the blue?
[13:18] ---
    Listen,
[13:19] ---
    have you been to the theater recently?
[13:22] ---
    I don't have time for that crap!
[13:24] ---
    Right.
[13:26] ---
    What is it?
[13:27] ---
    Has something happened?
[13:28] ---
    My partner's been acting a little weird.
[13:31] ---
    Weird, huh?
    Where did you find her anyway?
[13:35] ---
    Thanks to her, you've blossomed.
    You should be grateful!
[13:38] ---
    You're writing the material, right?
[13:40] ---
    You can tell?
[13:41] ---
    Well, I'm your former partner.
[13:44] ---
    Why pair up again when you don't like it?
[13:48] ---
    At first it was just an idea.
[13:51] ---
    I rolled my eyes when I first saw Nanako
    on stage three years ago.
[13:54] ---
    Hey guys!
[13:55] ---
    She seemed like a no-talent solo act.
[13:59] ---
    Her voice is too soft.
[14:01] ---
    Uh, w-wait! Wait a second!
[14:01] ---
    And yet, for some reason...
[14:03] ---
    YAKITORI
[14:04] ---
    I invited her out for a drink.
[14:10] ---
    You know, you're just not funny.
[14:18] ---
    You're so not funny that it's funny!
[14:20] ---
    Y-You laughed.
[14:22] ---
    I like looking at people laugh.
[14:27] ---
    I wish I were like you.
[14:31] ---
    People like you.
[14:34] ---
    Me, I'm too gloomy and cocky.
[14:37] ---
    I wanted to write material,
    but was told not to do any thinking.

[14:41] ---
    My partner was older than me.
[14:43] ---
    He had ten years of baggage.
[14:45] ---
    He'd punch me, kick me,
    and in the end, we split up.

[14:49] ---
    Material... I-I want someone
    to write for me.

[14:53] ---
    To be honest,
    I want to be part of a comic duo.

[14:55] ---
    B-But no one would partner up with me.
[14:59] ---
    Who would, when you don't
    have any confidence?

[15:02] ---
    Try acting like a queen once.
[15:06] ---
    Nobody would care even if you treated
    your partner like crap.

[15:10] ---
    In fact, it would probably go over well.
[15:13] ---
    A queen...
[15:16] ---
    Wait!
[15:21] ---
    Miss, please!
[15:23] ---
    Please be my partner!
[15:27] ---
    I'll never ask you another favor!
[15:29] ---
    And I'll do anything!
[15:31] ---
    Anything!
[15:33] ---
    I gave it a shot.
[15:35] ---
    Nanako changed more and more,
    and we kept getting more work.
[15:38] ---
    And for me, too,
    there was a strange kind of magic.
[15:42] ---
    Magic?
[15:43] ---
    By playing an airhead
    who takes orders from Nanako,
[15:49] ---
    the material somehow flowed
    freely from my pen.
[15:52] ---
    The anxiety I've always had went away.
[15:54] ---
    I don't even take drugs anymore.
[15:57] ---
    I see.
[15:59] ---
    But in the end, I am who I am.
[16:02] ---
    Even though I've been able to do it
    because of Nanako's presence,
[16:05] ---
    now she feels like baggage to me.
[16:07] ---
    Recently, I've been lashing out at her.
[16:11] ---
    I hit Nanako like you did to me. I'm scum!
[16:14] ---
    I'm sorry. At the time, I was...
[16:17] ---
    I understand now.
[16:19] ---
    Nanako is more cut out
    for this business than I am.
[16:24] ---
    That's the kind of thing
    you're supposed to tell your partner.
[16:31] ---
    Haru, where are you?
[16:33] ---
    The meeting is already over.
[16:36] ---
    I want to talk to you
    about doing a concert.

[16:38] ---
    Listen, we could do
    that material from before.

[16:42] ---
    I stopped by the bar you usually go to,
    but you're not here, so I'm going home.

[16:53] ---
    Welcome home. Where were you?
[16:56] ---
    I got your messages.
[16:57] ---
    If we're gonna do old material,
    let's revisit some of our earliest stuff.
[17:02] ---
    That was never a hit back then,
    but I always got a kick out of it.
[17:06] ---
    Haru, if you want to do it, then so do I!
[17:10] ---
    We'll make this an awesome concert!
    Better than ever before!
[17:13] ---
    CHAOS SWEETS
    IN CONCERT TONIGHT
[17:28] ---
    Wow!
[17:30] ---
    The house is packed!
[17:35] ---
    Let's go, Nanako!
[17:36] ---
    Let's go!
[17:41] ---
    Hello! We're Chaos Sweets!
[17:44] ---
    I'm Macaron Nanako!
[17:46] ---
    And I'm Gelato Haru!
[17:48] ---
    - It's skit time! Fun time!
    - It's skit time! Fun time!
[17:51] ---
    Wow, there's so much enthusiasm
    tonight! What a crowd!
[17:55] ---
    Thank you!
[17:57] ---
    They must have a lot of free time.
[17:57] ---
    Those two love each other.
[18:01] ---
    Even people who love each other
    can feel resentment.
[18:04] ---
    How?
[18:06] ---
    Watch them and you'll understand.
[18:08] ---
    By the way, folks, don't you
    sometimes feel like switching roles?
[18:13] ---
    A mother who takes care
    of her child every day is like,
[18:16] ---
    "You look after me once in a while!"
[18:18] ---
    It'd be nice if we could
    switch roles once in a while!
[18:21] ---
    That would be nice!
[18:23] ---
    Like at school, if a teacher and student
    could switch roles once.
[18:26] ---
    Good example!
[18:28] ---
    A Japanese entertainer
    and like a Hollywood celebrity!
[18:30] ---
    Good idea! Just one day is enough!
[18:32] ---
    A father and his high school daughter!
[18:34] ---
    You stink! High school girl, you reek!
[18:36] ---
    Hey, old man over there,
    let's take a photo together!
[18:39] ---
    - Skit time!
    - Skit time!
[18:41] ---
    Wife and mistress!
[18:42] ---
    I see!
[18:43] ---
    Parsley and steak!
[18:45] ---
    Yep yep!
[18:46] ---
    Dumb and dumber!
[18:57] ---
    Butts and boobs...
[19:00] ---
    Aren't those different?
[19:02] ---
    Anything else?
[19:08] ---
    Bride and groom!
[19:09] ---
    How would that be?
[19:11] ---
    Too slow!
[19:12] ---
    Red light and green light!
[19:13] ---
    Wouldn't that be dangerous?
[19:15] ---
    Faster!
[19:16] ---
    Sorry, one more time!
[19:19] ---
    Red light and green light!
[19:21] ---
    Too dangerous!
[19:22] ---
    Performer and audience!
[19:24] ---
    Look over here!
[19:24] ---
    Azami Street Shopping Arcade
[19:30] ---
    Haru, what's wrong?
[19:32] ---
    Are you out of ideas?
[19:34] ---
    Um, let's see...
[19:36] ---
    You and me!
[19:49] ---
    Good job!
[19:50] ---
    That was our best show ever, Nanako!
[19:54] ---
    I feel good because of our performance.
[19:56] ---
    Refreshed.
[19:58] ---
    Remember what you said, Nanako?
[20:00] ---
    That you were my creation.
[20:02] ---
    I was bitter then,
    that you sounded so happy about it.
[20:08] ---
    Let's split up.
[20:10] ---
    Sorry. I've hit my limit.
[20:13] ---
    I knew it.
[20:14] ---
    I knew it.
[20:16] ---
    You're going to abandon me and get back
    together with your old partner!
[20:20] ---
    The man who physically abused you!
[20:22] ---
    That's not true!
    It has nothing to do with him!
[20:24] ---
    I'd never forgive you, Haru!
[20:25] ---
    Just the idea of you partnering
    with someone else...
[20:29] ---
    I want you to write for me and me alone!
[20:31] ---
    Write! You have to keep writing!
[20:33] ---
    Nanako, calm down.
[20:35] ---
    I won't let anyone else have you!
[20:36] ---
    Nanako, listen!
[20:37] ---
    Shut up!
[20:38] ---
    You were on your hands and knees!
[20:41] ---
    You said you would do anything!
[20:44] ---
    It doesn't matter anymore, Nanako.
[20:46] ---
    I'm the one who drove you to this.
[20:49] ---
    We never should have done it.
[20:53] ---
    It's not your fault.
[20:55] ---
    My work was a misfire, that's all.
[20:57] ---
    A misfire...
[21:04] ---
    That's...
[21:05] ---
    Haru, even if you quit doing comedy,
    you could never be happy.
[21:09] ---
    That's why you don't
    want to live anymore, right?
[21:15] ---
    You understand.
[21:16] ---
    Of course. You're my partner.
[21:20] ---
    Even if you were the only one
    who laughed at me, Haru...
[21:23] ---
    I would've been happy with that.
[21:28] ---
    You'll really do anything?
[21:30] ---
    Yes!
[21:35] ---
    A pinky swear, huh?
[21:37] ---
    All right, it's a promise.
[21:39] ---
    Whether times are tough,
[21:42] ---
    miserable or fun,
[21:43] ---
    from now on, we'll always be together.
[21:46] ---
    Yeah!
[21:49] ---
    I'll be there soon.
[21:51] ---
    I won't let you be alone!
[21:56] ---
    Then don't cry.
[21:59] ---
    Vengeance is granted.
[22:01] ---
    Haru!
[22:07] ---
    A damnation pact.
[22:10] ---
    Why would they do this?
[22:13] ---
    This grudge will be washed away in Hell.
[22:20] ---
    I'll be waiting for you...
[22:22] ---
    Nanako.
[22:28] ---
    Touno Nanako
[23:32] ---
    This program is a work of fiction.
    Any resemblance to people or parties
    is purely coincidental.
[23:35] ---
    Born into a crazy family...
[23:38] ---
    They should all go to Hell!
[23:40] ---
    But I'll live!
[23:41] ---
    If this world is Hell, I'll keep living in it!
[23:44] ---
    You're crazy, too, right?
[23:46] ---
    SOMEDAY, SOMEBODY WILL...
[23:46] ---
    HELL GIRL
[23:46] ---
    Next time, "Someday, Somebody Will..."