9 - Christmas and New Year's Eve Surprise

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Vigne
    Jingle bells, jingle bells,
[00:07] Vigne
    jingle all the way.
[00:10] Vigne
    Oh, what fun it is to celebrate
    Christmas on this day.
[00:14] Raphi
    Vigne-san.
[00:16] Raphi
    Will this do for the cake base?
[00:19] Vigne
    It's perfect.
[00:21] Raphi
    I'm so looking forward
    to our Christmas party.
[00:24] Raphi
    Today, let's celebrate the
    birth of Jesus Christ in style.
[00:28] Vigne
    Should I really be
    getting excited about this?
[00:32] Vigne
    Some demon I am.
[00:33] Raphi
    In Japan, Christmas is just
    another commercial holiday.
[00:36] Raphi
    I think that leaves you in the clear.
[00:38] Vigne
    Y-Yeah!
SIGN    Satania
[00:43] Vigne
    It's Satania.
[00:44] Vigne
    Great timing.
[00:46] Vigne
    Hey, Raphi and I are—
[00:47] Satania
    Already past caring.
[00:49] Satania
    Do you know what day it is?
[00:50] Satania
    Do you know what day it is?
[00:51] Vigne
    Huh?
[00:52] Satania
    Listen very carefully.
[00:53] Satania
    Today is...
[00:55] Satania
    Christ's birthday!
[00:58] Satania
    We can't make merry
    on this detestable day.
[01:01] Satania
    If there's any day
[01:03] Satania
    to strike fear
    into human hearts, it's today!
[01:07] Satania
    I'm on my way there!
[01:08] Satania
    We're talking strategy!
[01:10] Vigne
    Huh? Wait—
SIGN    Beep
[01:15] Raphi
    It seems things just got interest—
[01:16] Raphi
    Ahem, that the party's gone awry.
SIGN    Episode 9 Christmas and New Year's Eve Surprise
[02:56] Satania
    Vignette!
[02:57] Satania
    Emergency demon council convenes now!
[03:00] Satania
    Huh?
[03:06] Girls
    Merry Christmas!
[03:11] Satania
    Huh?
[03:12] Vigne
    We've been waiting for you, Satania.
[03:15] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[03:17] Raphi
    Come, come, come this way.
[03:18] Raphi
    Merry Christmas to you.
[03:20] Satania
    Wait, what? What's going on?
[03:23] Vigne
    What do you mean?
    It's a merry Christmas, right?
[03:25] Raphi
    Absolutely.
[03:26] Raphi
    A very merry Christmas indeed.
[03:29] Vigne
    Come on, Satania, say it with us.
[03:31] Satania
    Why should I—
[03:39] Vigne
    Satania.
[03:41] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[03:42] Raphi
    Merry Christmas.
[03:44] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[03:45] Raphi
    Merry Christmas.
[03:47] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[03:48] Raphi
    Merry Christmas.
[03:50] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[03:51] Raphi
    Merry Christmas.
[03:53] Satania
    Merry Christmas!
[03:55] Girls
    Yay!
[03:57] Vigne narr
    Got her!
[03:58] Raphi
    Merry Christmas...
[03:59] Raphi
    Melon Breadmas...
[04:01] Raphi
    Merry Christmas...
[04:02] Vigne narr
    I thought it might be too hard a sell,
[04:03] Raphi
    Melon Breadmas...
[04:05] Raphi
    Merry Christmas...
[04:05] Vigne narr
    but it looks like she didn't notice
    the "Christ" in "Christmas."
[04:06] Raphi
    Melon Breadmas...
[04:09] Vigne narr
    Here we go.
[04:10] Vigne narr
    Operation: Get Satania into Party Mode
[04:11] Vigne narr
    and Make Her Enjoy Christmas
    Without Ever Being the Wiser!
[04:15] Satania
    Well, aren't you two enthusiastic?
[04:17] Satania
    I like it.
[04:18] Vigne
    Huh?
[04:19] Vigne
    Uh, r-right.
[04:20] Raphi
    It's a big event, after all.
[04:22] Satania
    Oh, yes. A big...
[04:25] Satania
    ...event?
[04:27] Satania narr
    That's right...
[04:28] Satania narr
    There was something about today...
[04:30] Satania narr
    I feel like I'm forgetting
    something important...
[04:33] Vigne
    A-Actually!
[04:34] Vigne
    Christmas is a day for eating cake
    and partying, just for the sake of it!
[04:39] Satania
    Huh?
[04:39] Vigne
    Isn't that right, Raphi?
[04:41] Raphi
    In Japan, at least—
[04:43] Vigne
    Spare us the minor details!
[04:44] Raphi
    Merry Christmas...
[04:46] Raphi
    Melon Breadmas...
[04:47] Raphi
    Merry Christmas...
[04:50] Satania
    Cake and partying?
[04:52] Satania
    That's cool.
[04:54] Vigne narr
    Good.
[04:55] Raphi
    Satania-san, actually,
[04:56] Raphi
    there's a costume that just screams
    "the star of Christmas"...
[05:01] Satania
    Star?
[05:02] Raphi
    And who else but Satania
    could shine so brightly?
[05:07] Raphi
    It's you, after all,
[05:09] Raphi
    who's a star...
[05:13] Vigne
    S-Satania?
[05:16] Satania
    Well, that goes without saying.
[05:20] Raphi
    Then let's get changed.
[05:25] Vigne narr
    Good thing I made a Santa outfit for Satania.
[05:30] Raphi
    Sorry for the wait.
[05:32] Vigne
    Why are you wearing it?
[05:39] Vigne
    What have you done?
[05:41] Vigne
    And why a reindeer costume?!
    I know I made one, but...
[05:45] Raphi
    I made a little oopsie.
[05:46] [SONG] Text
    Pre
[05:46] Vigne narr
    This was premeditated.
[05:47] [SONG] Text
    Premedi
[05:47] [SONG] Text
    Premeditated
[05:49] Satania
    Why am I dressed like this?
[05:52] Vigne
    Wow, you look so great!
[05:54] Vigne
    Yup, stars always stand out.
[05:57] Satania
    Except Raphiel looks
    more like the star to me.
[06:01] Vigne
    Oh, yeah. The cake!
[06:02] Vigne
    We haven't decorated the cake yet!
[06:05] Satania
    Cake?
[06:08] Satania
    I can decorate this however I want?
[06:10] Vigne
    Yes.
[06:12] Satania
    Interesting!
[06:13] Satania
    Time to show off my starrish good taste!
[06:16] Vigne narr
    That should keep her occupied.
[06:18] Satania
    First, I'll draw a bat with chocolate icing.
[06:21] Vigne
    No, remember, this is a shortcake.
[06:24] Satania
    What's this?
[06:25] Vigne
    A sugar cake topper.
[06:27] Vigne
    It's edible.
[06:36] Raphi
    Oh, my.
[06:37] Raphi
    Oh, dear.
[06:40] Vigne
    Why would you eat
    the cake's main decoration?!
[06:43] Satania
    Huh? It was a decoration?
[06:45] Satania
    You said it was edible, so...
[06:47] Raphi
    Let's replace it with something else.
[06:50] Vigne
    Like what?
[06:53] Vigne
    Of all things, a cross?!
[06:56] Raphi
    Now we're safe.
[06:57] Vigne narr
    Are you sure?
[06:59] Satania
    Why a cross?
[07:01] Satania narr
    Huh?
[07:02] Satania narr
    Come to think of it...
[07:03] Satania narr
    I feel like...
[07:04] Satania narr
    I'm forgetting something about today...
[07:07] Vigne
    Satania!
[07:08] Vigne
    Weren't you going to ice it
    with chocolate and make it really cool?
[07:12] Satania
    Can I? Can I?
[07:14] Vigne
    Mhm, mhm!
[07:15] Vigne narr
    Farewell, my traditional
    Christmas shortcake...
[07:19] Satania
    Perfection.
SIGN    Special Satanichia Black Special and Special
[07:20] Satania
    My Special Satanichia
    Black Special and Special!
[07:26] Raphi
    These days, they make chocolate
    Christmas cakes, too.
[07:29] Vigne
    Well, I guess we're all ready now.
[07:31] Vigne
    I'll call Gab.
[07:33] Raphi
    Yes.
[07:34] Raphi
    Once Gab-chan arrives...
[07:36] Raphi
    We'll all celebrate the birth of our Lord.
[07:41] Satania
    The birth of your Lor—
[07:44] Satania narr
    I remember now.
[07:45] Satania narr
    I'm not a reindeer.
[07:47] Satania narr
    This isn't just about cake and partying.
[07:49] Satania narr
    Christmas is...
[07:51] Satania
    I remember! Today's—
[07:52] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[07:54] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[07:56] Satania
    Vignette, Christmas isn't just—
[07:58] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[08:00] Vigne
    Merry Christmas.
[08:02] Vigne
    Merry Christmas!
[08:07] Gab
    Yo.
[08:08] Vigne
    Welcome, Gab.
[08:10] Raphi
    Gab-chan, good evening.
[08:18] Gab
    Literally "putting Christ's suffering
    back into Christmas"?
[08:21] Raphi
    Oh, you mean the poor dog?
[08:23] Raphi
    I found him out in the cold,
    wagging his tail.
[08:27] Gab
    No, not the dog. Sata—
[08:29] Vigne
    Satania?
[08:31] Vigne
    What about Satania?
    What about her?
[08:38] Gab
    Eh, whatevs.
[08:42] Vigne
    Okay, now that we're all here...
[08:45] Vigne
    Let's dig in!
[08:46] Raphi
    Yes, let's.
[08:48] Vigne
    What do you think of my turkey?
[08:51] Raphi
    We made meatloaf, too.
[08:55] Vigne
    Jeez, don't just grunt.
[08:57] Vigne
    Tell us it's good!
[09:01] Raphi
    That's our Gab-chan.
[09:20] Satania
    I'm free!
[09:21] Satania
    Well done, dog!
[09:23] Satania
    Hey! You three!
[09:24] Satania
    You're not making merry
    on this accursed day on my watch—
[09:31] Satania
    Huh?
[09:32] Satania
    Uh...
[09:33] Satania
    For me?
[09:36] Satania
    If you think my will's
    that weak, think—
[09:38] Gab
    'Kay, none for you.
[09:39] Satania
    Offer it more persistently!
[09:45] Satania
    Come on, dog!
[09:46] Satania
    Chew through this rope, too!
[09:52] Satania
    Bah humbug, bah humbug,
[09:53] Satania
    bah humbug!
[09:55] Satania
    Go ahead, enjoy yourselves...
    while you still can.
[09:58] Satania
    When I hold the human world
    in the palm of my hand,
[10:01] Satania
    the first thing I'll do is
    corrupt holidays like this!
[10:04] Satania
    Celebrating the birth of Christ?
SIGN    The Birth of Christ
[10:06] Satania
    We'll celebrate the birth of the Archdemon!
SIGN    The Birth of Demon Rule
[10:08] Satania
    I'll turn humans into wax dolls
    for the nativity scene!
[10:18] Vigne
    Sorry.
[10:19] Vigne
    I dropped my fork.
[10:22] Raphi
    She threw it with all her strength.
[10:25] Gab
    She's a force to reckon with
    when an event's on.
[10:29] Raphi
    It was the last straw after her patience
    during our preparations.
[10:33] Gab
    Hey, don't try to stop the Vigne train.
    It'll rain blood.
[10:38] Raphi
    Don't despair.
[10:40] Raphi
    I have good news.
[10:41] Satania
    Huh?
[10:42] Satania
    What?
[10:42] Raphi
    On Christmas, good children get presents.
[10:46] Satania
    Presents?!
[10:47] Satania
    What is it? What do I get?
[10:49] Raphi
    Satania-san,
[10:51] Raphi
    you won't get anything
    unless you're a good child.
[10:55] Satania
    A good child?
[10:56] Satania
    What the hell?
[10:57] Satania
    I'm a demon!
[10:58] Satania
    I can't do that.
[11:00] Raphi
    Do not worry.
[11:01] Raphi
    Simply follow my instructions...
[11:04] Raphi
    Mumble, mumble, mumble...
[11:05] Gab narr
    What's she gonna make her do?
[11:07] Gab narr
    I'm gettin' all kinds of bad vibes here.
[11:09] Gab narr
    Time to split.
[11:14] Vigne
    Oh, Gab...
[11:16] Vigne
    Where might you be going?
[11:18] Vigne
    The party isn't over yet.
[11:20] Gab
    S-Stay calm!
[11:21] Raphi
    Oh, girls!
[11:22] Raphi
    Satania-san's ready to be a good child now.
[11:26] Girls
    Huh?
[11:27] Satania
    I'm Satanya.
[11:28] Satania
    I'm thwee.
[11:30] Vigne
    This is what she meant?
[11:32] Gab
    Who's this fanservice for?
[11:34] Vigne
    We don't have any presents
    in the first place.
[11:37] Satania
    You tricked me?!
[11:41] Gab
    This Christmas is all kinds of messed up.
[11:51] Gab
    A New Year's shrine visit in this cold?
[11:54] Gab
    Why can't we just take it easy inside?
[11:56] Vigne
    It's better to pay your respects properly
[11:59] Vigne
    to start the new year on the right foot.
[12:01] Gab
    Nobody paying respects
    to the real angel right here.
[12:04] Vigne
    That's... true.
[12:05] Gab
    Stupid humans should come worship me,
    bearing gifts of cash, cash, and cash.
[12:10] Vigne narr
    No one would want to pray
    to an angel like you.
[12:13] Raphi
    Our first shrine visit.
[12:14] Raphi
    How exhilarating.
[12:16] Vigne
    Exhilarating?
[12:17] Raphi
    Visiting the altar of another god...
[12:20] Raphi
    Oh, it's so blasphemous!
[12:22] Vigne
    Don't derive that form of pleasure from this.
[12:25] Satania
    Rejoice! Your wait is over!
[12:27] Vigne
    Hey, what took you—
[12:29] Vigne
    Uh, Satania?!
[12:30] Vigne
    What are you wearing?!
[12:32] Satania
    You wear these
    on a first shrine visit, right?
[12:34] Satania
    These "kimono" things!
[12:35] Vigne
    That's a yukata!
[12:37] Satania
    What? I got the wrong one?!
[12:38] Satania
    You'll pay for this, Hell Shopping Network!
[12:41] Vigne
    You should stop paying them for stuff first.
[12:44] Vigne
    Come on. You'll catch a cold in that.
[12:49] Gab
    Ain't no rest for the wicked.
    Even on New Year's Eve.
[12:57] Raphi
    What a crowd.
[12:59] Vigne
    We'd best take care not to get separated.
[13:02] Vigne
    Gab, how are you holding up—
[13:04] Vigne
    Oh, sheesh!
[13:06] Vigne
    Gab!
[13:07] Vigne
    Grab my hand!
[13:12] Vigne
    Yes!
[13:13] Vigne
    I've got y—
[13:14] Vigne
    Huh?
[13:17] Gab
    Three more seconds in there
    and I was gonna blow.
[13:20] Vigne
    The first trumpet of the apocalypse again?!
[13:26] Vigne narration
    May everyone have good health this year.
[13:29] Satania
    I am a future archdemon!
[13:31] Satania
    I bow to no one.
[13:33] Vigne
    At least put your hands together.
[13:37] Vigne
    Wh— You guys,
    that's not how you pray here!
[13:40] Vigne
    Stop! You're going to mess up the shrine!
[13:43] Vigne
    Good grief! We were this close to mass panic.
[13:46] Raphi
    I'm so sorry.
[13:47] Raphi
    Force of habit.
[13:48] Vigne
    Anyway, it's almost midnight.
[13:51] Gab
    So the earth survived one more year.
    What's the big deal?
[13:54] Vigne
    There are tons
    of New Year's traditions to do.
SIGN    New Evil
[13:57] Vigne
    Like calligraphy,
[13:59] Vigne
    playing shuttlecock,
[14:00] Vigne
    and pin-the-features-on-the-face...
[14:01] Gab
    Yeah, not feeling it.
[14:05] Vigne
    Oh, there's New Year's
    money (otoshidama), too!
[14:07] Satania
    Falling ball (otoshidama)?
[14:10] Vigne
    It's a custom where adults
    give children some money.
[14:15] Satania
    That's what it is?
[14:16] Satania
    Let's get us summa that!
[14:18] Vigne
    I mean, we don't exactly have
    any adults to get it from...
[14:21] Satania
    What about him?
[14:23] Vigne
    You can't just get it
    from anyone willy-nilly.
[14:26] Gab
    Hey, I'll be getting some.
[14:29] Satania
    Huh?
[14:29] Vigne
    How?
SIGN    Lottery
[14:33] Vigne
    You bought an end-of-the-year lotto ticket?!
[14:35] Vigne
    Hang on. You'd better not cheat, okay?
[14:37] Gab
    Please. I wouldn't do that.
[14:39] Gab
    I just prayed to God for my number to—
[14:41] Vigne
    That's cheating!
[14:43] Vigne
    That kind of behavior is not allowed.
[14:45] Gab
    My seven hundred million yen!
[14:50] Vigne
    Honestly.
[14:52] Miko
    Help yourselves.
[14:53] Vigne
    Huh?
[14:54] Vigne
    We can?
[14:57] Satania
    Hot!
[14:57] Satania
    Sweet!
[14:58] Satania
    What is this?
[14:59] Raphi
    It really warms you up.
[15:01] Vigne
    Here, Gab.
[15:02] Vigne
    Drink and cheer up.
[15:06] Gab
    As if this slurry could make me forget
    about my seven hundred million.
[15:12] Vigne
    By the way, what's this called?
[15:16] Miko
    It's amazake.
[15:18] Vigne
    It's strange, but good.
[15:20] Vigne
    Right, Gab?
[15:23] Vigne
    Gab?
[15:25] Gab
    Happy New Year!
[15:29] Gab
    The new year'sh finally here!
[15:31] Gab
    HNY. ILU!
[15:33] Gab
    Oh, but there's still like ten minutes
    until midnight, huh?
[15:37] Gab
    Guess it's a Flying Happy New Year!
[15:41] Vigne
    What's wrong, Gab?
[15:44] Gab
    Nothin's wrong.
[15:46] Raphi
    You're swaying.
[15:48] Vigne
    And your cheeks are red.
[15:50] Gab
    Nuh-uh!
[15:52] Gab
    I'm shuper normal!
[15:54] Gab
    Shee?
[15:57] Raphi
    Vigne-san.
[15:59] Vigne
    No doubt about it.
[16:00] Girls narr
    She got drunk on amazake.
[16:05] Vigne
    Why'd you transform?!
[16:07] Vigne
    And why's your trumpet out again?!
[16:09] Gab
    It'sh a new year in a few minutes, right?
[16:11] Gab
    When the clock strikes midnight,
[16:13] Gab
    Imma start it off with a bang!
[16:15] Vigne narr
    It'll end in the same bang.
[16:17] Gab
    Let's start the countdown!
[16:20] Vigne
    Don't fly!
[16:23] Vigne
    Hurry!
[16:24] Vigne
    We have to stop Gab before—
[16:25] Satania
    No fair, Gabriel!
[16:27] Satania
    I wanna fly too!
[16:28] Raphi
    This has gotten quite lively.
[16:31] Vigne
    Cut it out and stop her!
SIGN    New Year's UMA!?
[16:39] Vigne
    Okay, everyone.
[16:40] Vigne
    Pack everything you need?
[16:41] Raphi
    Yes.
[16:42] Satania
    I'm good to go.
[16:43] Raphi
    We're homebound, or rather,
[16:45] Raphi
    Heaven bound today, eh?
[16:47] Vigne
    Us two are Hell bound, though.
[16:48] Vigne
    Speaking of...
[16:50] Vigne
    You've really turned up the radiance today.
[16:52] Gab
    Who, me?
[16:54] Vigne
    I get that you want to hide
    the faillen angel thing, but...
[16:58] Vigne
    Aren't you going overboard?
[16:59] Gab
    In general, Heaven prohibits the carrying
    of human entertainment items.
[17:05] Gab
    However, exceptions can be made
    for honor students with valid reasons.
[17:11] Gab
    So I'll act the part of an overachiever
[17:13] Gab
    to smuggle this and that into Heaven.
[17:16] Vigne
    You pull out all the stops
    for your video games...
[17:19] Vigne
    All right. First, we go through the gate.
[17:23] Vigne
    I, Tsukinose Vignette April, command you...
[17:27] Vigne
    Open, gate!
SIGN    Hell
SIGN    Heaven
[17:37] Vigne
    It's been too long.
[17:39] Raphi
    It sure has been.
[17:40] Raphi
    The atmosphere's as serene as ever.
[17:43] Gab
    Truly. It's so utterly empty and serene...
[17:45] Gab
    that one might think, "Is friggin'
    public transportation asking too much?"
[17:49] Vigne
    You might want to mince your words in Heaven.
[17:52] Vigne
    Anyway, the Gates of Hell
    are that way. See you.
[17:54] Raphi
    Yes.
[17:55] Raphi
    See you after vacation.
[18:01] Gab
    I'll smuggle my games in
    if it's the last thing I do.
[18:03] Raphi
    Fight the good fight, Gab-chan.
[18:15] Man
    Next, please.
[18:23] Man
    Welcome back.
[18:24] Man
    This is the Gates of Heaven
    customs checkpoint.
[18:27] Gab
    Bless you for all your hard work.
[18:29] Man
    Ahem.
[18:30] Man
    The members in your party returning are...
[18:33] Man
    Shiraha-san.
[18:35] Man
    Tenma-san.
[18:36] Man
    Uh...
[18:38] Man
    Miss...
[18:39] Man
    You're a demon, aren't you?
[18:41] Satania
    I have no idea what you're talking about.
[18:44] Satania
    I'm an angel!
[18:46] Satania
    See the halo?
[18:47] Man
    I can see the wire and horns, too.
[18:50] Satania
    Relax.
[18:51] Satania
    I can assure you that I'm not some demon
[18:53] Satania
    trying to infiltrate Heaven in order to spy
    and make me a household name in Hell—
[19:02] Gab narr
    What was she expecting?
[19:04] Man
    Now then.
[19:05] Man
    Shiraha-san, Tenma-san.
[19:06] Man
    We'll be checking your bags.
[19:09] Gab narr
    Game on.
[19:10] Man
    First, Shiraha-san.
[19:11] Raphi
    Yes, sir.
[19:12] Gab narr
    This is the moment of truth.
[19:14] Gab narr
    The outcome will decide my destiny.
[19:17] Gab narr
    Can I act the part of the perfect angel...
[19:19] Gab narr
    and spend vacation in video game rapture?
SIGN    Moist & Smooth Baumkuchen
[19:25] Man
    What's this?
[19:27] Raphi
    A cake from the human world
    called baumkuchen.
[19:30] Raphi
    It's a souvenir for my family.
[19:32] Man
    Ah, all right.
[19:33] Man
    You're all set, then.
[19:35] Man
    Next, Tenma-san.
[19:36] Gab
    Yes, sir.
SIGN    Spongy Castella
[19:39] Man
    This is...?
[19:40] Gab
    Castella cake.
[19:41] Gab
    I also wanted to bring a gift for my family.
[19:46] Man
    I hear something hard.
[19:48] Gab
    O-Oh, that's just how they
    make castella these days.
[19:54] Man
    And what's this?
[19:56] Gab
    Castella, sir.
[19:56] Man
    Confiscated.
SIGN    Confiscations
[19:58] Gab narr
    My Play Angel Portable!
[20:01] Gab narr
    He stopped me in my tracks.
[20:03] Gab narr
    Can't believe my PAP got swiped.
[20:05] Gab narr
    I thought that I'd hid that expertly.
[20:08] Man
    Ahem.
[20:09] Man
    Next is this item.
[20:11] Man
    It appears to be a Blu-ray pla—
[20:12] Gab
    It's a pancake griddle.
[20:16] Gab
    You pour the batter into this compartment,
SIGN    5 minutes
[20:18] Gab
    close the lid, press here,
[20:20] Gab
    and in five minutes...
SIGN    Complete
[20:21] Gab
    Miracle of miracles, a piping hot pancake!
[20:23] Man
    My apologies.
[20:24] Man
    Confiscated.
[20:26] Gab narr
    Pancakes, really?*
[20:28] Gab narr*
    Are you a freaking idiot, me?
[20:29] Gab narr
    Use your brain, or he'll take everything!
[20:32] Man
    You have one last problematic item.
[20:34] Gab narr
    My laptop!
[20:36] Gab narr
    Anything...
[20:37] Gab narr
    Take anything but that!
[20:39] Gab narr
    I heard we've got Internet in Heaven now.
[20:41] Gab narr
    I need to come up with some BS...
[20:43] Gab narr
    Wait, no.
[20:44] Gab narr
    The problem is that I'm trying to BS.
[20:46] Gab narr
    Come on, girl, you didn't get
    all dressed up for nothing.
[20:50] Man
    I'm afraid we can't allow you
    to carry this in, either.
[20:53] Gab
    Please, allow me to explain.
[20:56] Gab
    While that item is indeed a laptop,
[20:58] Gab
    it isn't for entertainment.
[21:00] Gab
    It's a vital tool for saving humans.
[21:03] Man
    Could you clarify?
[21:05] Gab
    By accessing what's called the "Internet,"
[21:08] Gab
    I can find information about the human world
[21:10] Gab
    that I can apply accordingly.
[21:13] Gab
    I want to lead people onto the right path,
[21:16] Gab
    by always staying up to date on information!
[21:20] Man
    I see.
[21:21] Man
    That's what it's for?
[21:23] Man
    That's an excellent attitude.
[21:25] Gab narr
    Score!
[21:26] Gab
    Then may I—
[21:26] Man
    You'll want to visit
    Heaven's Grand Library, then.
[21:30] Gab
    Come again?
[21:32] Man
    We have a few computers
    here in Heaven now, too.
[21:36] Man
    They're even connected to the Internet.
[21:40] Man
    Of course, they can't
    be used for video games.
[21:42] Gab
    Um... So may I have my laptop?
[21:45] Man
    I'm sorry.
[21:46] Man
    We'll hold on to it for you.
SIGN    Goddammit!
[21:51] Gab
    Goddammit!
[21:55] Vigne
    I'm so sorry about this.
[21:57] Vigne
    I'll make sure it never happens again.
[22:00] Satania
    Next time, I'll have the last laugh...
[22:03] Vigne
    Drop it and apologize with me!
[22:05] Vigne
    We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry.
[22:08] Vigne
    We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry.