5 - The Angel Whose Illusions Were Shattered Like Hell

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Salaryman
    At this rate— Whoa!
[00:20] Tapris
    Oxygen concentration nominal.
[00:23] Tapris
    No toxic substances detected.
[00:29] Tapris
    What's that?
[00:32] Tapris
    Felis catus.
[00:34] Tapris
    A domesticated animal of the human world.
[00:37] Tapris
    Danger level: D.
[00:50] Tapris
    Th-That was too close for comfort!
[00:52] Tapris
    God knows what I would be now
    without my Heaven-made providence suit!
[00:56] Tapris
    The human world is truly
    a tightrope over the abyss.
[00:59] Tapris
    Felis catus, edit. Danger level: B.
[01:03] Tapris
    Oh, but I'm finally here!
[01:07] Tapris
    How eagerly I've looked to this day!
[01:13] Tapris
    I now go forth to love and serve
    the venerable Tenma-senpai!
[02:48] Gab
    Geh.
SIGN    Geh
SIGN    Episode 5 The Angel Whose Illusions Were Shattered Like Hell
[02:49] Gab
    Great, I left my wallet in the classroom.
[02:52] Gab
    I need wings to get through the day
[02:54] Gab
    after an all-night raid,
    but I forget my angel oil.
[02:59] Gab
    My presence is payment enough. Spit it out!
[03:01] Tapris
    Um, excuse me...
[03:03] Gab
    Huh?
[03:04] Tapris
    I was hoping you could help me.
[03:06] Gab narration
    Freak alert!
[03:08] Tapris
    Where might I find the
    first-year classrooms?
[03:11] Gab
    Just saying, but you might
    want some professional help.
[03:18] Gab
    You a transfer student or somethin'?
[03:20] Tapris
    Huh?!
[03:21] Tapris
    Uh, yes! Something like that.
[03:24] Gab
    Well, that's perfect.
SIGN    Perfect?
[03:28] Gab
    Could ya' gimme some cash?
[03:30] Tapris narration
    What is this person saying?!
[03:32] Gab
    I've got a little dilemma. No wallet, see?
[03:34] Tapris narration
    Asking a stranger for money?
[03:37] Tapris narration
    Could this be normal in the human world?
[03:39] Gab
    Don't worry, I'll pay you back.
[03:42] Gab
    If I win an extra drink, anyway.
[03:44] Tapris narration
    Payback up to chance?!
[03:46] Tapris narration
    In goods, not cash?!
[03:48] Tapris narration
    Wait, I remember studying this in Heaven!
[03:51] Tapris narration
    This is...
[03:52] Gab
    Jump for me.
SIGN    Clink
SIGN    Clink
SIGN    Clink
SIGN    Clink
[03:55] Tapris
    A shakedown!
SIGN    Shakedown!
[03:58] Tapris narration
    Wait, just look at her!
[04:00] Tapris narration
    The dark makeup under her eyes,
[04:02] Tapris narration
    the messy hair, the bossy attitude...
[04:06] Tapris narration
    Could she be what humans call...
[04:08] Tapris narration
    a punk?!
SIGN    Born to Be Holier Than Thou
[04:11] Tapris narration
    Lord have mercy!
    Day one in the human world,
[04:14] Tapris narration
    and I'm getting shaken down by a punk!
[04:17] Tapris narration
    Lord have mercy!
    Christ have mercy!
[04:19] Tapris narration
    I'm setting this person's danger level to A+!
[04:21] Raphi
    Oh, my. Gab-chan?
[04:24] Raphi
    Buying something?
[04:26] Gab
    Hey, nice timing.
    Could ya' gimme some cash?
[04:28] Raphi
    I don't mind, but...
[04:31] Raphi
    Someone you know?
[04:32] Gab
    Transfer student, I guess.
[04:35] Raphi
    Is it just me, or is that Tap-chan?
[04:39] Gab
    "Tap-chan"?
[04:40] Raphi
    Our underclassman
    in angel school, Tapris-chan.
[04:44] Gab
    Oh, right. Her.
[04:48] Raphi
    Look. She's even wearing
    the angel school uniform.
[04:51] Gab
    Huh. Thought it looked familiar.
[04:56] Raphi
    Excuse me.
[04:57] Tapris narration
    Sh-She summoned an accomplice?!
    The scoundrel!
[05:00] Tapris narration
    But I am an angel!
[05:02] Tapris
    Do as you will,
    I will not give you any money!
[05:05] Tapris
    I will never yield to evil!
    And anyway...
[05:09] Tapris
    I only have thirty yen on me!
[05:12] Raphi
    That voice... You are Tap-chan!
[05:15] Tapris
    Yes! I am the holy angel Tapris...
[05:18] Tapris
    Huh?
[05:20] Tapris
    Shiraha-senpai?
[05:22] Raphi
    Yes. It's been ever so long, Tap-chan.
[05:26] Tapris
    It's wonderful to see you!
[05:28] Tapris
    Oh, Shiraha-senpai, your face
    is a sight for sore eyes!
[05:32] Raphi
    Your face would be a sight for mine, too.
[05:35] Tapris
    Oh, how rude of me!
[05:38] Tapris
    I didn't know what dangers
    might lurk in the human world, so...
[05:42] Raphi
    Tap-chan, what are you doing here?
[05:45] Tapris
    Well...
[05:46] (Flashback) Flashback
    If you're ever lonely,
    you can come visit me anytime.
[05:49] Tapris
    I was overcome with loneliness,
    so I came to visit Tenma-senpai!
[05:53] Raphi
    My, my.
[05:54] Tapris
    In fact, I've been searching
    for her classroom, but...
[05:58] Tapris
    I forgot! I was being
    shaken down by a punk!
[06:02] Raphi
    A punk?
[06:03] Tapris
    Her! She's a punk!
[06:07] Tapris
    It's my first day in the human world,
    and I've been through Hell already!
[06:11] Tapris
    But I swear that I will put
    the fear of God in her!
[06:18] Tapris
    Shiraha-senpai?
[06:23] Tapris
    Huh? What's so funny?
[06:25] Raphi
    Excuse me.
[06:28] Raphi
    Well said. All right...
[06:31] Raphi
    Let's make her change her ways!
[06:33] Tapris
    Yes!
[06:33] Gab
    You done yet over there?
[06:36] Tapris
    What?!
[06:38] Tapris
    This is Tenma-senpai?!
    And she's a faillen angel?!
[06:42] Gab
    Come on. Are you blind?
[06:44] Tapris
    But...
[06:51] Tapris
    T-Tenma-senpai!
[06:53] Tapris
    I've been looking for you all day!
    Where have you been?
[06:57] Gab
    Right in front of you.
[06:59] Tapris
    What's a "faillen angel"?
[07:01] Gab
    An angel whose goal in life
    is to hole up at home
[07:04] Gab
    and game all day, every day.
[07:06] Tapris narration
    She really is a failure of an angel!
[07:09] Tapris
    But what about the you I knew in Heaven?
[07:11] Gab
    Yeah, that me was a lie.
[07:13] Tapris
    Gasp!
[07:15] Tapris narration
    No...
[07:16] Tapris narration
    The angel I've looked up to
    for so long... was a lie?!
[07:20] Tapris narration
    Lord have mercy.
[07:22] Tapris narration
    How did this happen?
[07:24] Tapris narration
    What could have caused this?
[07:27] Tapris narration
    Caused this?
SIGN    Café au Lait
[07:32] Raphi**
    The work of a demon?
[07:34] Tapris
    Yes! No matter how addicting
    human entertainment may be,
[07:38] Tapris
    it alone could never lead her
    to fall into temptation.
[07:41] Tapris
    I can only conclude that her fall
    is the work of a demon.
[07:47] Raphi
    I see.
[07:48] Tapris
    Does anything come to mind?
[07:53] Tapris
    I'd meet the demon
    if I came here in half an hour?
[07:56] Tapris
    What kind of demon could be
    waiting for me inside?
[08:00] Tapris
    Could it be...
[08:03] Tapris
    No, don't let fear creep into your heart!
[08:05] Tapris
    I'm saving Tenma-senpai!
[08:09] Tapris
    Charge!
[08:11] Tapris
    E-Excuse me...
[08:17] Tapris
    No one's here?
[08:19] Satania
    So you've come.
[08:21] Tapris
    Show yourself!
[08:22] Satania
    You didn't run away.
    I commend you for that.
[08:25] Tapris
    Show yourself, you coward!
[08:28] Satania
    As you wish. I shall reveal myself to y—
[08:32] Satania
    Huh?
[08:35] Satania
    What the hell?! It won't open!
[08:43] Satania
    Welcome.
[08:47] Tapris narration
    Who is this person?
[08:49] Satania
    So we meet, Tapris.
[08:50] Satania
    Scared speechless, I see.
[08:53] Satania
    So you're searching
    for the cause of Gabriel's fall?
[08:57] Tapris
    Aren't you going to get out of that?!
[09:01] Raphi narration
    I knew that bringing these two together
    would result in hilarity.
[09:05] Raphi narration
    Now let's see the intensity.
[09:07] Tapris
    Do you know something?
[09:10] Raphi narration
    What did I miss?!
[09:12] Satania
    Do I know something?
[09:16] Satania
    Oh, you poor angel.
[09:18] Satania
    Very well. As a reward
    for making it this far, I shall tell you.
[09:23] Satania
    Listen well.
[09:24] Satania
    The cause of Gabriel's fall...
[09:27] Satania
    is I,
[09:29] Satania
    Kurumizawa Satanichia McDowell!
[09:32] Tapris
    Y-You did this?!
[09:34] Satania
    Indeed! Gabriel has already
    sworn loyalty to me!
[09:38] Tapris
    You're lying!
[09:39] Tapris
    Tenma-senpai would never bow before evil!
[09:43] Satania
    Oh, she was formidable, yes.
[09:45] Satania
    But before my devilish actions...
SIGN    Devilish
    Actions
[09:49] Satania
    She was completely powerless!
[09:52] Tapris
    Devilish actions?!
[09:54] Satania
    Behold! The proof.
[09:57] Tapris
    Waitress?
[09:59] Satania
    Gabriel is servant to my every whim.
[10:02] Satania
    I only say the word,
    and she will be dressed.
[10:05] Tapris
    How... How...
[10:08] Satania
    Your beloved Gabriel, humiliated in garments
    of my choosing. How does it feel?
[10:12] Tapris
    How enviable!
[10:15] Satania
    Huh?
[10:16] Tapris
    Oh, that's not what I meant.
[10:17] Tapris
    How evil!
[10:19] Tapris
    How dare you play dress-up with her?!
[10:22] Tapris
    I'll be taking that photo.
[10:26] Satania
    Huh?
[10:26] Tapris
    D-Don't misunderstand.
[10:29] Tapris
    It's my duty to protect her dignity.
[10:31] Tapris
    It's definitely not because
    I want it or anything!
[10:34] Satania
    Oh, right. If I recall...
[10:37] Satania
    I had another photo.
[10:40] Tapris
    What?! Another?!
    It mustn't see the light of day!
[10:43] Satania
    It doesn't have to if—
[10:44] Tapris
    If I must, I'll look.
[10:48] Satania
    Here.
[10:52] Tapris
    H-How did you get that?!
[10:55] Satania
    I leave it to your imagination.
[10:57] Tapris
    I-It can't be!
[10:59] Satania
    You dare defy me, slave? Off with them!
[11:01] Gabriel
    Yes, Satania-sama...
[11:03] Tapris
    H-How depraved...
[11:05] Satania
    I see that you now understand.
[11:08] Satania
    Gabriel is in my possession.
[11:13] Tapris
    U-Unforgivable...
[11:15] Tapris
    Sullying Senpai's purity is an eternal sin!
[11:19] Tapris
    I declare you a special A-class threat!
[11:22] Tapris
    I will eliminate you immediately!
[11:24] Satania
    You're all bark and no bite.
[11:26] Satania
    But so be it. I'll humor you.
SIGN    Shining from Shook Foil
SIGN    The Stately Pleasure Dome
[11:32] Raphi narration
    Gab-chan... Sorry!
[11:34] Raphi narration
    This is quickly getting out of hand!
[11:43] Raphi narration
    I never thought Tap-chan would be so daring!
[11:47] Raphi narration
    This is better than I imagined!
[11:48] Raphi narration
    What will she do now?
[11:51] Tapris narration
    What do I do now?
[11:53] Tapris narration
    I rushed in like a fool without thinking.
[11:56] Tapris narration
    Now that I am thinking...
[11:57] Tapris narration
    Do I stand any chance against
    someone who defeated Tenma-senpai?
[12:02] Satania
    So how shall we settle this?
[12:04] Tapris
    Um, maybe... peacefully?
[12:08] Satania
    Peacefully?
SIGN    Giddy
[12:10] Tapris
    Uh, maybe not so much
    peacefully as safely...
[12:14] Tapris
    I mean, erm...
[12:16] Tapris
    Old Maidly!
[12:17] Satania
    Old Maid?
[12:18] Tapris
    Y-Yes, Old Maid!
[12:21] Satania
    Well, well...
[12:25] Satania
    Come! I accept your challenge!
[12:28] Tapris
    I won't lose!
[12:30] Raphi narration
    Gab-chan's fate now rests
    on a game of Old Maid.
[12:34] Raphi narration
    And she doesn't know it!
[12:36] Satania
    You're not bad.
[12:37] Tapris
    Neither are you.
[12:41] Tapris narration
    The odds are 50-50.
[12:44] Tapris narration
    All I can do...
[12:45] Tapris narration
    is leave this in God's hands!
[12:48] Tapris
    I choose you!
[12:58] Tapris
    What's the big idea?!
[12:59] Satania
    Huh?! What idea?
[13:00] Tapris
    You had an iron grip on that card!
[13:03] Satania
    N-No, I was... Right!
[13:05] Satania
    I was giving my hands a workout!
[13:08] Tapris
    Why would you work them out now?!
[13:12] Satania
    Look! A wild bahamut in the hall!
[13:14] Tapris
    What? Really?
[13:17] Tapris
    Where? Where is it?
[13:18] Satania
    Oops, sorry. Just my wild imagination.
[13:22] Satania
    Come on. You're holding up
    the game. Pick your card.
[13:25] Tapris
    You held up the game.
[13:30] Satania
    Sucks to be you!
[13:31] Tapris
    You switched the cards in your hand!
[13:34] Satania
    Stooping to accusations?
[13:36] Satania
    Since when was there a rule
[13:38] Satania
    against switching the cards
    in your own hand?
[13:42] Satania
    Above all else, I am a demon.
[13:44] Satania
    It's your own fault for being fooled.
[13:49] Tapris
    You've made your point.
    Now, pick your card.
[13:53] Satania
    Which one is the old maid?
[13:55] Satania
    This one?
[13:57] Satania
    Or this one?
SIGN    Peep
[13:59] Tapris
    I-It's not that one.
[14:02] Satania
    I can read you like a book!
[14:06] Satania
    Victory is mine!
[14:08] Tapris narration
    I lost... I'm sorry, Tenma-senpai!
[14:12] Satania
    Now, begone, loser.
    I can't stand to look at you.
[14:18] Tapris
    I-I'll leave you in peace this time!
[14:21] Tapris
    But I swear that I will pry Tenma-senpai
    free from your evil grasp!
[14:25] Tapris
    Prepare yourself, you demon!
[14:31] Satania
    That was awesome!
[14:33] Satania
    Who knew forcing an angel to surrender
    would feel this good?
[14:39] Raphi
    It was entertainment of the highest caliber.
[14:41] Satania
    I know, right?
[14:43] Satania
    Wait, since when were you here?!
[14:45] Raphi
    And why are you beaming?
[14:50] Tapris
    I'm lost.
[14:53] Tapris
    How do I get out of here?
[14:54] Tapris
    This human school is too big.
[15:00] Vigne
    Can I help you?
[15:03] Vigne
    Looking for someone?
[15:04] Tapris narration
    I-Is she...
SIGN    Permanent Trust Issues
[15:07] Tapris narration
    going to harass me?!
[15:09] Tapris narration
    I'm a bad luck magnet right now.
[15:11] Tapris narration
    More bad things incoming! Abort, abort!
[15:13] Vigne
    Hello?
[15:15] Tapris
    I-I'm fine! Don't mind me!
[15:18] Tapris
    I'm only pretending to be lost.
[15:20] Vigne
    Pretending to be lost?
[15:21] Tapris
    So if you'll excuse—
[15:23] Vigne
    A-Are you okay?
[15:30] Vigne
    Good grief. Pick the locker up
    when you knock it down.
[15:35] Vigne
    There. All better.
[15:37] Tapris
    Th-Thank you.
[15:39] Tapris
    But I don't have any money, honest!
[15:43] Vigne
    I'm not going to bill you.
[15:45] Vigne
    Anyway...
[15:46] Vigne
    That's not our uniform.
    Are you a transfer student?
[15:50] Vigne
    Let me guess. You got lost?
[15:52] Tapris
    Erm, well...
[15:58] Vigne
    So you're in middle school?
[16:01] Vigne
    No wonder you couldn't find your way out.
[16:04] Tapris
    I'm thinking of coming here
    next year, actually.
[16:09] Vigne
    So you snuck in to have a look around.
[16:11] Tapris
    I'm sorry for being a bother.
[16:15] Vigne
    You're not a bother!
    You're a future underclassman.
[16:19] Tapris narration
    She's so nice...
[16:21] Tapris narration
    As if she's made of
    kindness and compassion!
[16:26] Vigne
    What is it?
[16:28] Tapris
    U-Um, may I ask your name?
[16:30] Vigne
    Me? I'm Tsukinose.
[16:33] Tapris
    So... Tsukinose-senpai.
[16:35] Vigne
    "S-Senpai"...
[16:38] Vigne
    E-Erm, what about yours?
[16:41] Tapris
    I'm Chisaki.
[16:44] Vigne
    Chisaki-chan, then.
SIGN    Maiten High School
[16:46] Tapris
    Thank you so much.
[16:48] Tapris
    You didn't have to take
    the time to see me out.
[16:51] Vigne
    Don't mention it.
[16:53] Tapris narration
    Could she be an angel?
[16:56] Vigne
    Maybe we could have
    a nice chat over tea sometime.
[16:59] Tapris
    Yes, I'd love that!
[17:01] Gab
    Hey! What are you doing out here?
[17:06] Gab
    I searched the whole school for you.
[17:09] Gab
    I was hoping you'd be so kind
    as to let me see your homework.
[17:13] Vigne
    That was assigned last week!
    You still haven't done it?!
[17:16] Vigne
    Good grief. You still have a day,
    so do it yourself tonight.
[17:20] Gab
    There's an in-game event
    I can't miss tonight.
[17:24] Gab
    I'll do it myself next time, I swear.
[17:26] Vigne
    You say that every time!
[17:28] Tapris
    Tsukinose-senpai?
[17:31] Gab
    Oh, Tapris? Didn't see you there.
[17:33] Gab
    Whatcha doin' out here?
[17:34] Vigne
    Huh?
[17:35] Tapris
    I should ask you the same.
[17:38] Tapris
    You shouldn't cause this
    loving angel such trouble.
[17:41] Gab
    Hold up. Vigne's a demon.
[17:43] Tapris
    Huh?
[17:46] Tapris
    Huh?
[17:48] Tapris
    Tsukinose-senpai, you're a demon?
[17:51] Vigne
    Erm... Yup. You caught me.
[17:53] Tapris
    But you're so kind, loving, and caring—
[17:57] Tapris narration
    Was it all an act designed
    to lower my guard?!
[18:00] Vigne
    No, it wasn't!
[18:02] Tapris
    Playing the straight man
    on my very thoughts...
[18:05] Tapris
    You are a demon!
[18:06] Vigne
    Shoot. Bad habit.
[18:08] Gab
    Hey, don't underestimate Vigne.
[18:10] Gab
    Her straight man game's
    harder than the back of God's head.
[18:14] Vigne
    Stop talking, you!
[18:16] Vigne
    You see, Chisaki-chan...
[18:19] Vigne
    She suddenly feels so distant...
[18:21] Gab
    Yeah, she's got the fear
    of all creation in her.
[18:25] Vigne
    Don't worry, Chisaki-chan!
[18:26] Vigne
    I want to be friends with you, that's all.
[18:31] Tapris
    Th-Thank you for seeing me out.
[18:35] Tapris
    Excuse me!
[18:38] Vigne
    She hates me now.
[18:40] Vigne
    Just when I thought
    we were going to be friends...
[18:44] Gab
    Hey, don't take it too hard.
[18:46] Gab
    You can make friends with her next time.
[18:49] Vigne
    Gab...
[18:51] Gab
    So lemme see your homework!
[18:53] Vigne
    That's all you care about?! Do it yourself!
[18:56] Tapris
    T-Tsukinose-senpai!
[18:59] Tapris
    Um, I'm looking forward
[19:02] Tapris
    to having tea with you.
[19:09] Gab
    Sheesh.
[19:11] Gab
    You didn't have a place to stay?
    Way to think ahead.
[19:14] Tapris
    Thank you again, Tenma-senpai.
[19:16] Tapris narration
    She might not be
    the angel I remember,
[19:19] Tapris narration
    but I get to sleep
    with my beloved Tenma-senpai!
[19:22] Gab
    C'mon in. 'Scuse the mess.
[19:24] Tapris
    No need to be so modest—
[19:31] Gab
    Hey, watch your step.
    You're starting to fall.
[19:36] Gab
    Anyhoo, make yourself at home.
[19:43] Tapris narration
    This devil-may-care attitude...
[19:45] Tapris narration
    That demon's hands are
    in every aspect of Senpai's life!
[19:48] Tapris narration
    But I won't give up!
[19:51] Gab
    Hell yeah, item drop!
SIGN    Potato Chips
[19:54] Gab
    Oh, come on. This is trash.
[19:56] Gab
    What are you doing?
[19:58] Tapris
    Cleaning!
[19:59] Tapris
    I'm bringing you back
    to cleanliness and godliness!
[20:03] Tapris
    Stop making a mess!
[20:04] Tapris
    And put away the snacks!
    You'll spoil your—
[20:07] Gab
    Tapris.
[20:09] Gab
    If you think that's going to
    rehabilitate me, think again.
[20:14] Tapris
    Huh?
[20:15] Gab
    Because what you're doing now...
[20:19] Gab
    is something Vigne already tried!
[20:29] Gab
    Sweet! A rare monster!
[20:32] Tapris
    Um, shouldn't we turn in for the night?
[20:35] Gab
    Why would I go to bed this early?
[20:39] Gab
    Hey! No kill stealing, jerkface!
[20:41] Gab
    I'll blow my trumpet, human scum!
[20:44] Tapris narration
    Is the Tenma-senpai I remember
    truly gone for good?
[21:10] Tapris
    It's morning?
[21:11] Tapris
    Oh, no. When did I fall asleep?
[21:15] Tapris
    What's this?
[21:20] Tapris
    Tenma-senpai...
[21:29] Tapris
    With the footfalls of an angel...
SIGN    To: Tapris ♥
[21:32] Tapris narration
    What's this?
[21:34] Tapris narration
    Could it be something for me
    to take back to Heaven?
[21:39] Tapris
    There's still hope.
[21:41] Tapris
    One day, Tenma-senpai will be
    the angel she used to—
SIGN    To: Tapris ♥
SIGN    Burnable Garbage
[21:49] Tapris
    What is this, Tenma-senpai?!
[21:53] Gab
    Oh, yeah. Figured you could take
    the trash out when you left.
[21:59] Tapris
    Tenma-senpai...
[22:02] Tapris
    Today...
[22:04] Tapris
    isn't burnable garbage day!
[22:07] Gab
    That's what you're mad about?!