E1 - Golden Spell
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
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SIGN Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
SIGN Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
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SIGN Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
SIGN Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
SIGN Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
[01:01] ---
Hey, Koizumi!
[01:03] ---
You did a lousy job with
that soldering! Do it again!
[01:06] ---
S-Sorry, sir...
[01:07] ---
Get it together or you're outta here!
[01:11] ---
Dumbass.
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SIGN Eagle Talon Chancellor
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SIGN Eagle Talon Chancellor
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SIGN Eagle Talon Chancellor
SIGN Eagle Talon Chancellor
SIGN Eagle Talon Chancellor
[01:12] ---
How do you even leave
the house without dying?
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SIGN Dr. Leonardo
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SIGN Dr. Leonardo
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SIGN Dr. Leonardo
SIGN Dr. Leonardo
SIGN Dr. Leonardo
[01:21] ---
Who ordered the extra
large Mont Blanc ramen?!
[01:24] ---
No one ordered that, asshole!
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SIGN Bosatsutoge
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SIGN Bosatsutoge
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SIGN Bosatsutoge
SIGN Bosatsutoge
SIGN Bosatsutoge
[01:31] ---
Now we'll destroy Earth for sure.
[01:34] ---
Emergency, sir!
[01:35] ---
There's a massive energy source
heading straight for us!
[01:39] ---
What?!
[01:45] ---
Oh, Yuririn?
[01:47] ---
I'm heading home.
[01:49] ---
I've got an early "world
conquest" day tomorrow.
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SIGN Philip
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SIGN Philip
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SIGN Philip
SIGN Philip
SIGN Philip
[01:53] ---
Koizumi-san. Heading home?
[01:55] ---
Yeah. I've got world domination tomorrow.
[01:58] ---
Boss really chewed you out today, huh?
[02:00] ---
It's my own fault.
[02:02] ---
I just can't get the hang of this job.
[02:05] ---
Well, I was surprised it took you four
months to learn how to press a button...
[02:11] ---
But I really like the way
you press that button.
[02:14] ---
You do it so gently.
[02:16] ---
That's reassuring to hear.
[02:19] ---
I'm back!
[02:22] ---
Wait, no one's here?
[02:24] ---
Are they all still asleep?
[02:27] ---
Wh-What the...
[02:33] ---
Bathroom! Gotta hit the bathroom!
[02:36] ---
Wow, that really did a number on his bowels.
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SIGN Yoshida
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SIGN Yoshida
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SIGN Yoshida
SIGN Yoshida
SIGN Yoshida
[02:39] ---
It really worked, Doc!
[02:40] ---
Of course it did. I made it.
[02:44] ---
What was that?
[02:45] ---
The Golden Spell.
[02:47] ---
Golden Spell?
[02:49] ---
That strange series of words can
make a person want to go for a crap?
[02:52] ---
Not just go for a crap!
[02:54] ---
With a few words, we can
make humans do anything!
[02:56] ---
You can? Really?
[02:58] ---
Words do more than just impart information.
[03:01] ---
They can directly affect your
physical and mental state.
[03:03] ---
Asshole!
[03:03] ---
A thoughtless remark can kill,
[03:04] ---
I wanna die
[03:05] ---
or save someone from the depths of despair!
[03:05] ---
Kidding, dear!
[03:06] ---
Tee-hee!
[03:07] ---
I've been the recipient of several
thoughtless remarks today...
[03:10] ---
But one kind word gave me the will to go on.
[03:13] ---
Precisely!
[03:13] ---
But the Golden Spell directly affects
a human's nervous system, organs,
[03:17] ---
muscles and skeletal systems,
[03:19] ---
and can even make them change shape.
[03:20] ---
Hi,
Georgie!
[03:21] ---
I can even cook up a spell
that'll turn humans into this.
[03:25] ---
You can do all that just with words?!
[03:28] ---
With the coronavirus
influencing everything,
[03:30] ---
social norms are being set ablaze!
[03:30] ---
Social norms
[03:30] ---
Social norms
[03:31] ---
Blazing hot
[03:31] ---
Blazing hot
[03:31] ---
Blazing hot
[03:33] ---
Working online
[03:33] ---
Working online
[03:33] ---
Working online
[03:33] ---
Everyone's working online,
[03:35] ---
making their sisters giddy!
[03:35] ---
Sisters giddy!
[03:35] ---
Sisters giddy!
[03:35] ---
Sisters giddy!
[03:36] ---
With the Golden Spell,
[03:38] ---
Good For People
Good For Environment
[03:38] ---
we can be conscientious citizens
and conquer the world remotely!
[03:41] ---
I see. That's true...
[03:43] ---
Utilizing sound alone would
let us conquer from a distance.
[03:46] ---
Precisely.
[03:48] ---
I see.
[03:50] ---
Use the Golden Spell to
conquer Earth at once!
[03:57] ---
Okay! All ready!
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[03:59] ---
Hey! Anyone want some grasshopper legs?
SIGN Morita
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SIGN Morita
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SIGN Morita
SIGN Morita
SIGN Morita
[04:02] ---
What do you want, Morita?
[04:03] ---
We're busy conquering the world from home.
[04:05] ---
Conquering the world from home?
[04:07] ---
Sounds like another wacky scheme.
[04:09] ---
So where should we conquer first?
[04:12] ---
For a warm-up, how about
we attack DX Fighter?
[04:15] ---
What? You sure about that?
[04:17] ---
Chancellor.
[04:18] ---
It's a remote attack, remember?
[04:20] ---
There's no need to fear the DX Bomber.
[04:21] ---
No fear!
[04:21] ---
No fear!
[04:21] ---
No fear!
[04:23] ---
Good point.
[04:23] ---
Okay, put us through!
[04:25] ---
Com
[04:25] ---
Com
[04:25] ---
Com
[04:25] ---
pany
[04:25] ---
pany
[04:25] ---
pany
[04:28] ---
Mr. President. What's all this?
[04:30] ---
Coronavirus measures.
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SIGN DX Fighter
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SIGN DX Fighter
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[04:32] ---
Coronavirus measures?
[04:33] ---
All this social distancing is
putting a cramp in my business.
[04:36] ---
Even superheroes are having to change it up.
[04:37] ---
New
Life-
style
[04:37] ---
New
Life-
style
[04:37] ---
Visual Storybook
[04:37] ---
Visual Storybook
[04:40] ---
I must enforce even virtual justice.
[04:40] ---
Virtual Hero
[04:40] ---
Virtual Hero
[04:40] ---
Virtual Hero
[04:42] ---
Uh, how exactly do you
enforce virtual justice?
[04:45] ---
For instance, if your Wi-Fi's on the fritz,
or your emails keep getting bounced,
[04:46] ---
Fi!
[04:46] ---
Fi!
[04:46] ---
Wi!
[04:46] ---
Wi!
[04:48] ---
E-mail
[04:48] ---
E-mail
[04:50] ---
drop me 500 yen and I'll fix it.
[04:50] ---
Just 1 Coin Away
[04:50] ---
Just 1 Coin Away
[04:50] ---
Just 1 Coin Away
[04:52] ---
Isn't that just customer support?
[04:54] ---
So you hired those men?
[04:56] ---
Yeah.
[04:56] ---
Former Crotter engineers.
They really know their stuff!
[05:00] ---
Now, IT Hero is open for business!
[05:03] ---
Mr. President. Someone's asking for you.
[05:05] ---
Oh, really, Iwasa?
[05:06] ---
Who is it?
[05:07] ---
I'll put you through.
[05:10] ---
Eagle Talon!
[05:13] ---
It's been a while, DX Fighter!
[05:15] ---
What's wrong? Your faces are so dirty...
[05:17] ---
Are not! We look the same as always!
[05:19] ---
And we've embarked on a plan of
conquering the world from home!
[05:23] ---
What did you say?!
But I've been superhero-ing from home!
[05:27] ---
Have you?
[05:28] ---
Then, let's test our might
against yours... from home!
[05:32] ---
Very well.
[05:33] ---
Hit it, Doc.
[05:41] ---
I don't know why...
but suddenly, I need to go number two!
[05:46] ---
Magnificent, Yoshida-kun.
[05:48] ---
The Golden Spell was a roaring success!
[05:50] ---
Yes, he couldn't even fire
his DX Bomber. How pathetic.
[05:54] ---
Hey! What did you jerks do?
[05:56] ---
Don't you mean "fine gentlemen"?
[05:58] ---
You'd better watch how you talk to us, buddy!
[06:01] ---
What was that?!
[06:04] ---
But... I already went!
[06:06] ---
Ah, not again!
[06:09] ---
Serves you right, DX Fighter!
[06:10] ---
Truly incredible. He'd already gone just now,
and yet it still works on him!
[06:15] ---
I keep trying to go, but nothing comes out...
[06:17] ---
Well, DX Fighter?
[06:19] ---
Do you admit defeat?
[06:20] ---
Curse you! You shall pay—
[06:24] ---
Gotta take another dump! Dammit!
[06:27] ---
That'll keep him in line.
[06:29] ---
Chancellor, shall we embark
on true world conquest now?
[06:32] ---
Sure, sounds cool.
[06:34] ---
Where should we start?
[06:35] ---
How about the local green grocer?
[06:38] ---
Excellent idea. That guy never yells at us.
[06:40] ---
If you don't wanna get yelled at,
don't conquer the world!
[06:43] ---
Now, contact the green grocer!
[06:45] ---
Hang on a minute.
[06:46] ---
Is the green grocer able to video chat?
[06:49] ---
Does he need to be able to video chat?
[06:52] ---
Of course he does!
[06:53] ---
He needs a smartphone, at least.
[06:55] ---
Go find out.
[06:58] ---
Green
Grocer
[06:58] ---
Low prices! Low prices!
[07:00] ---
Low prices for thinly-veiled knockoffs!
[07:02] ---
Excuse me, sir.
[07:03] ---
Hey, Eagle Talon.
[07:05] ---
Here for more misshapen produce?
[07:07] ---
Not today.
[07:08] ---
Sir, do you have a computer?
[07:10] ---
Nah.
[07:11] ---
What about a smartphone?
[07:13] ---
I'm a feature phone man.
[07:15] ---
A feature phone won't cut it.
[07:18] ---
Ah, forget it.
[07:20] ---
I ended up buying him a smartphone.
[07:22] ---
Hey, we're trying to conquer the world.
[07:24] ---
Just write it off as a work expense.
[07:25] ---
That won't fly!
[07:26] ---
Now, Doc.
[07:28] ---
Let us begin anew.
[07:30] ---
Hey.
[07:30] ---
What?
[07:31] ---
Did you install the app
on the old man's phone?
[07:34] ---
No, I didn't!
[07:37] ---
Here, press this button...
[07:39] ---
Oh, is this one of those apricot things?
[07:43] ---
He should have it this time.
[07:45] ---
All right! World conquest from home... begin!
[07:49] ---
He's on! Great work!
[07:51] ---
Hey, old man, can you hear me?
[07:53] ---
Hey, can you hear me?
[07:56] ---
Chancellor, did you teach
him how to use the app?
[07:59] ---
No, I didn't.
[08:00] ---
Go do that.
[08:02] ---
Account Name
[08:02] ---
Green Grocer Guy
[08:02] ---
Room Name
[08:02] ---
World Conquest
[08:02] ---
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[08:02] ---
Voice on
[08:02] ---
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[08:02] ---
Voice off
[08:02] ---
Virtual Background
[08:02] ---
Press this button and you'll enter the chat.
[08:05] ---
Then, change your mic settings here...
[08:08] ---
Right. Mike Tyson settings...
[08:12] ---
It'll work this time, right?
[08:13] ---
It's fine now, right? It'll work this time, right?
[08:15] ---
Shut up! Quit your complainin'!
[08:17] ---
There he is!
[08:18] ---
Hey, man! You gettin' this?
[08:19] ---
Yeah, I hear you.
[08:20] ---
Hey, what's all that? It's creepin' me out!
[08:23] ---
Turn off that virtual background already!
[08:25] ---
What's going on? What's happening?
[08:28] ---
Don't be afraid, Bosatsutoge-kun!
[08:30] ---
Don't be afraid! It's going to be fine!
[08:32] ---
Chancellor, go fix it!
[08:35] ---
Do your settings like this, okay?
[08:38] ---
Oh, I get it now.
[08:40] ---
What's all this hollering?
[08:42] ---
Eagle Talon's trying to conquer me demotely.
[08:45] ---
Not "demotely"! Remotely!
[08:47] ---
Oh, a remote conference, huh?
[08:49] ---
I'm curious about them,
but I've got no idea how they work.
[08:52] ---
Get Eagle Talon to teach you, then.
[08:54] ---
They'll even buy you a smartphone.
[08:56] ---
Sounds great! I want in on that action!
[08:58] ---
You can conquer me after!
[09:00] ---
Same here, if you teach me how it works!
[09:02] ---
Me too!
[09:05] ---
Darn, that whole thing cost us 300,000 yen!
[09:08] ---
Necessary expenditure in the name of world
domination. Write it all off as a work expense.
[09:12] ---
I'm saying, it won't fly!
[09:13] ---
Now, Doc, commence conquering
the world... from home!
[09:18] ---
Leave it to me!
[09:20] ---
Hey, there.
[09:23] ---
You must now submit to
the rule of Eagle Talon—
[09:27] ---
Could you hang on a minute, Mr. Eagle Talon?
[09:30] ---
What now?
[09:31] ---
I've gotta deal with customers.
[09:33] ---
I've got customers too.
[09:35] ---
H-Hang on. I just need a minute!
[09:38] ---
Sorry, can't. Evening rush!
[09:41] ---
Hey! No fair, you guys!
[09:45] ---
Curse them... They'll pay for this.
[09:48] ---
Iwasa!
[09:49] ---
Oh, uh, yessir. What is it?
[09:51] ---
Could you run a Bomber Eats for me?
[09:52] ---
What?
[09:53] ---
Um, I'm an engineer.
[09:55] ---
Silence! You're the youngest here.
[09:57] ---
Take it!
[09:58] ---
Fine.
[10:01] ---
Delu-Bo!
[10:03] ---
Everyone's too busy to answer the video call!
[10:05] ---
Forget this nonsense. Let's hit
the shopping street ourselves.
[10:08] ---
What was all this for, then?!
[10:09] ---
Exactly! Why was I buying and
giving out all those smartphones?
[10:12] ---
Excuse me. Bomber Eats delivery.
[10:15] ---
Bomber Eats?
[10:17] ---
Yoshida-kun, did you order something?
[10:19] ---
I bet I know what it is.
[10:21] ---
The shopping street guys sent us
a thank-you present for the smartphones.
[10:24] ---
Oh, I get it.
[10:26] ---
That's so nice of them.
[10:27] ---
That's definitely not it!
[10:28] ---
Come on, let's open it.
[10:29] ---
Yes, let's.
[10:30] ---
No, don't!
[10:51] ---
Golden Spell...
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