Skip to main content

E2 - Anti-Spell

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    I'm truly sorry.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Episode 2 "Anti-Spell"
SIGN    Episode 2 "Anti-Spell"
SIGN    m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Episode 2 "Anti-Spell"
SIGN    Episode 2 "Anti-Spell"
SIGN    Episode 2 "Anti-Spell"
SIGN    I'm truly sorry.
SIGN    Don't "sorry" me, buster!
SIGN    It's been six months!
SIGN    You ain't paid your rent in six months!
SIGN    What do you expect?
SIGN    The chancellor can't get work, what with coronavirus and all.
SIGN    Just apply for one of the government subsidies!
[01:15] ---
    They said small businesses in the
    "world conquest" sector don't qualify...
[01:18] ---
    No chance
[01:18] ---
    Aw
[01:18] ---
    Aw
[01:20] ---
    Not my problem!
[01:21] ---
    Listen up, bub. If you don't move out,
[01:23] ---
    I'm gonna hold my patented
[01:23] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[01:23] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[01:23] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[01:24] ---
    72-hour marathon
    naked dance festival!
[01:24] ---
    Naked
[01:24] ---
    Naked
[01:24] ---
    Naked
[01:24] ---
    Dance
[01:24] ---
    Dance
[01:24] ---
    Dance
[01:24] ---
    Fest
[01:24] ---
    Fest
[01:24] ---
    Fest
[01:24] ---
    2020
[01:24] ---
    2020
[01:24] ---
    2020
[01:24] ---
    m 0 0 s 100 0 100 100 0 100 c
[01:24] ---
    Danger
[01:24] ---
    m 0 0 s 100 0 100 100 0 100 c
[01:24] ---
    Danger
[01:27] ---
    Stop barfing!
[01:29] ---
    You'd better pay what you owe by 6 pm tonight!
[01:32] ---
    One minute late and you're out on your asses!
[01:36] ---
    What's the plan?
[01:37] ---
    I'd rather suck a pig's ass
    than watch her dance naked.
[01:40] ---
    Both sound awful!
[01:41] ---
    How about robbing a bank to raise the dough?
[01:44] ---
    I can't handle that, Doc.
[01:45] ---
    I once went to the bank just
    to set up automatic payments,
[01:48] ---
    and the teller lady strong-armed me
    into seven different term deposits!
[01:48] ---
    Will you make a term
    deposit already, asshole?!
[01:48] ---
    Will you make a term
    deposit already, asshole?!
[01:48] ---
    Eek!!
[01:48] ---
    Eek!!
[01:52] ---
    Why'd you let her do that?
[01:54] ---
    I know!
[01:55] ---
    Why don't we make a Golden Spell
    that'll force people to give us money?
[01:56] ---
    Donate to
    Eagle Talon Spell
[01:56] ---
    Donate to
    Eagle Talon Spell
[01:56] ---
    Donate to
    Eagle Talon Spell
[01:59] ---
    Good idea!
[02:01] ---
    Hey, Doc, can you make one of those?
[02:03] ---
    Sure, leave it to me.
[02:07] ---
    What's the matter, Doc?
[02:09] ---
    It's gone!
[02:10] ---
    The Golden Spell generator program is gone!
[02:13] ---
    H-Hold on a second.
[02:15] ---
    Surely you're mistaken...
[02:17] ---
    I definitely saved it to the cloud.
[02:19] ---
    All my lady-bear nudes are missing, too!
[02:20] ---
    Doc's Secret Library
[02:20] ---
    Doc's Secret Library
[02:20] ---
    Doc's Secret Library
[02:20] ---
    Doc's Secret Library
[02:20] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:20] ---
    Censored
[02:20] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:20] ---
    Censored
[02:20] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:20] ---
    Censored
[02:20] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:20] ---
    Censored
[02:20] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:20] ---
    Censored
[02:22] ---
    Why don't ya just write a new program?
[02:23] ---
    You wrote the first one, right?
[02:25] ---
    Easier said than done.
[02:27] ---
    For the first one, I needed dew
    collected under a new moon,
[02:29] ---
    pollen from a legendary flower
    that blooms once every 25 years,
[02:32] ---
    and ten cushions delivered by Yamada-kun!
[02:34] ---
    That last one sounds pretty suspect.
[02:36] ---
    Can't you just go get them again?
[02:37] ---
    That's not the point.
[02:39] ---
    What if it's fallen into the wrong hands?
[02:41] ---
    They could walk around playing
    it on their smartphone,
[02:44] ---
    or include it as an email attachment.
[02:46] ---
    Or broadcast it live on-air in
    an act of far-reaching terrorism!
[02:50] ---
    Who hosts your cloud service, anyway?
[02:52] ---
    Crotter.
[02:53] ---
    Then, let's head over to Crotter!
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter, Inc.
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter, Inc.
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter, Inc.
SIGN    Crotter, Inc.
SIGN    Crotter, Inc.
[03:00] ---
    Why'd we get changed?
[03:01] ---
    Listen up, Chancellor.
[03:02] ---
    Everyone knows Crotter has the
    tightest security in the world.
[03:07] ---
    We need to make them think we're
    employees here to get in.
[03:10] ---
    Fine, okay.
[03:12] ---
    Say, Yoshida-chan!
[03:13] ---
    How's that program I asked for coming along?
[03:15] ---
    Yessir! I formatted the C-Drive,
    then proto-matted the protocol!
[03:19] ---
    I see! A real Ctrl+V, huh?
[03:22] ---
    You guys know jack about IT.
[03:24] ---
    Excuse me. ID badges, please.
[03:26] ---
    Oh, my next-door neighbor's dog ate mine.
[03:29] ---
    I left mine on the forehead
    of my sick mother.
[03:31] ---
    Those excuses are terrible!
[03:32] ---
    What's your department?
[03:34] ---
    Um, I think it was the
    Hard Reboot Department.
[03:35] ---
    Press and Hold!!
[03:37] ---
    No, it's the "I Poured Mud into the USB Port
    and My Dad's Pissed Now" Department.
[03:39] ---
    Hey!!
[03:39] ---
    Hey!!
[03:40] ---
    As if that'd be real!
[03:41] ---
    You guys don't really work here, do you?
[03:43] ---
    But of course we do!
[03:45] ---
    You've never heard of Koizumi-san
    down in Power Cables?
[03:48] ---
    Of course not!
[03:49] ---
    Now come with me!
[03:49] ---
    Hey, cut it out.
[03:50] ---
    S-S-S-Stop that!
[03:52] ---
    What in the world are you doing?
[03:54] ---
    Oh, Zaharu-san.
[03:55] ---
    These people were trying
    to sneak into the building.
[03:58] ---
    The president has arrived.
    Please keep the noise down.
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter Vice President
    Adrian Zaharu
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter Vice President
    Adrian Zaharu
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter Vice President
    Adrian Zaharu
SIGN    Crotter Vice President
    Adrian Zaharu
SIGN    Crotter Vice President
    Adrian Zaharu
[04:01] ---
    Yes, sir.
[04:06] ---
    Huh?
[04:06] ---
    I feel like I've seen that guy before...
[04:08] ---
    Come on, you. Come with me.
[04:10] ---
    W-Wait, wait!
[04:11] ---
    Let go of my chin! You're gonna pull it off!
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter President
    Kuroki Homare
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter President
    Kuroki Homare
SIGN    m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Crotter President
    Kuroki Homare
SIGN    Crotter President
    Kuroki Homare
SIGN    Crotter President
    Kuroki Homare
[04:14] ---
    Mr. President. What's the matter?
[04:17] ---
    I think I know that man...
[04:20] ---
    Kuroki-kun?
[04:22] ---
    Koizumi, was it?
[04:23] ---
    Yes, it's me! Koizumi!
[04:25] ---
    Kuroki-kun, is that you?
[04:26] ---
    What are you doing here?
[04:28] ---
    Come to blackmail me over what
    went down in middle school?
[04:32] ---
    Huh? In middle school?
[04:35] ---
    Good, you don't remember.
[04:36] ---
    Now get out.
[04:37] ---
    Don't talk to him that way—
[04:38] ---
    Don't say that!
[04:43] ---
    What in the world?
[04:44] ---
    "That way!"
[04:45] ---
    Don't say "that way" in
    front of the president!
[04:47] ---
    It makes him act like a fool!
[04:49] ---
    What in the world?
[04:50] ---
    Mr. President, are you all right?
[04:52] ---
    O-Oh, uh, yes...
[04:55] ---
    Zaharu. Let's go.
[04:57] ---
    Hey, wait a minute.
[04:58] ---
    Someone stole some important data we
    had stored on your Crotter cloud service.
[05:02] ---
    Talk to customer support about it.
[05:05] ---
    But we have to retrieve it
    before something awful happens!
[05:07] ---
    It's called the Golden Spell generator
    program, and it's very important!
[05:11] ---
    Wait a minute.
[05:12] ---
    What did you just say?
[05:13] ---
    Huh?
[05:14] ---
    I said, "Embrace me, Mr. Date-o-gram."
[05:14] ---
    C'mon, you beast!
[05:14] ---
    C'mon, you beast!
[05:14] ---
    Embrace me,
     Mr. Date-o-gram
[05:14] ---
    Embrace me,
     Mr. Date-o-gram
[05:14] ---
    Embrace me,
     Mr. Date-o-gram
[05:16] ---
    No, you didn't!
[05:17] ---
    Oh, wait. Yeah.
[05:18] ---
    It was "Golden Spell generator program."
[05:22] ---
    Koizumi. Come with me.
[05:24] ---
    Huh? Are you sure?
[05:26] ---
    Just come on! Now!
[05:30] ---
    The Golden Spell is an ancient incantation
    that directly affects the human body.
[05:35] ---
    Incantation?
[05:36] ---
    Pure fantasy!
[05:37] ---
    It's not fantasy!
[05:38] ---
    The theory is that aliens came down
    back when humans were still apes
[05:42] ---
    and implanted it in them
    as some sort of safety device.
[05:45] ---
    So it's science fiction.
[05:47] ---
    It's not science fiction.
[05:48] ---
    The Golden Spell is real.
[05:50] ---
    And it has played a major
    role in human history.
[05:53] ---
    Men have used it to erect great empires.
[05:57] ---
    Others have used it to
    create worldwide religions.
[06:00] ---
    But for some unexplained reason,
    the Golden Spell vanished from history,
[06:04] ---
    and disappeared from human memory.
[06:07] ---
    Why did it disappear?
[06:08] ---
    I'm not sure.
[06:09] ---
    Perhaps it was too dangerous
    for the world to accept.
[06:10] ---
    m 0 0 s 100 0 100 100 0 100 c
[06:10] ---
    We'll Pass!
[06:10] ---
    The World (Two Except)
[06:10] ---
    The World (Two Except)
[06:10] ---
    The World (Two Except)
[06:10] ---
    The World (Two Except)
[06:12] ---
    But if that's the case, how did
    you people come across it?
[06:18] ---
    We plan to conquer—
[06:19] ---
    No, no, no, no, no.
[06:20] ---
    We're ancient history enthusiasts.
[06:23] ---
    Ancient history enthusiasts?
[06:25] ---
    When did you ever care about history?
[06:28] ---
    You got into it recently, right?
[06:29] ---
    Ancient Hiss-story
[06:29] ---
    Ancient Hiss-story
[06:29] ---
    Ancient Hiss-story
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    m 0 0 b 0 0 0 0 0 0 b 1 -1 1 -2 2 -3 b 2 -4 1 -4 1 -5 b 0 -5 0 -5 -1 -5 b -2 -4 -2 -4 -3 -3 b -3 -2 -4 -1 -4 0 b -5 1 -6 1 -6 2 b -6 2 -6 2 -5 4 b -4 4 -4 4 -3 4 b -3 3 -2 3 -2 2 b -2 2 -1 1 -1 1
[06:29] ---
    "Hiss" stories, "brr"
    stories, "ugh" stories...
[06:30] ---
    Brr, I'm cold!
[06:30] ---
    Brr, I'm cold!
[06:30] ---
    Brr, I'm cold!
[06:31] ---
    Ugh, I'm hot!
[06:31] ---
    Ugh, I'm hot!
[06:31] ---
    Ugh, I'm hot!
[06:31] ---
    Y-Yeah! I'm interested in "ouch"
    stories and "whew" stories, too.
[06:32] ---
    Ouch, that hurts!
[06:32] ---
    Ouch, that hurts!
[06:33] ---
    Whew, I'm tired...
[06:33] ---
    Whew, I'm tired...
[06:34] ---
    The hell are those?
[06:35] ---
    How did you learn about
    the Golden Spell, Kuroki-san?
[06:38] ---
    Several days ago, I received an email
    from a man known only as Sugar.
[06:44] ---
    Without thinking, I opened
    the attached audio file...
[06:51] ---
    And it was the Golden Spell?
[06:54] ---
    So this Sugar guy stole it, huh?
[06:56] ---
    Can you fix me?
[06:58] ---
    Yes, but to create an Anti-Spell program,
    I need some special ingredients.
[07:02] ---
    More "new moon dew" and legendary flowers?
[07:04] ---
    No.
[07:05] ---
    A bronze sword,
[07:06] ---
    the remains of a creature
    from the bottom of the sea,
[07:09] ---
    and katana steel.
[07:10] ---
    How are we supposed to get all that?
[07:13] ---
    I'll find a way to get them.
[07:15] ---
    And the last thing we need is... good vibes!
[07:18] ---
    Good vibes?
[07:19] ---
    Negative Golden Spells are
    powered by negative thoughts.
[07:21] ---
    In other words, bad vibes.
[07:21] ---
    Bad Vibes
[07:21] ---
    Bad Vibes
[07:23] ---
    To cancel it out, you need good vibes
    of equal or greater intensity.
[07:24] ---
    Good Vibes
[07:24] ---
    Good Vibes
[07:24] ---
    Good Vibes
[07:26] ---
    The bad vibes on your spell are 22 Negative.
[07:28] ---
    Act Like a Dumbass When
    Someone Says "That Way" Spell
[07:28] ---
    Act Like a Dumbass When
    Someone Says "That Way" Spell
[07:29] ---
    Roughly equivalent to putting
    a clothespin on someone's ear.
[07:32] ---
    That's total nonsense!
[07:33] ---
    If you create that Anti-Spell,
    I'll pay you... one million.
[07:39] ---
    What? One million yen?!
[07:40] ---
    D-Doc! Create that Anti-Spell
    generator program right away!
[07:45] ---
    Yoshida-kun, we need to go collect good
    vibes from the people of Crotter, Inc.!
[07:50] ---
    Yessir.
[07:54] ---
    Don't worry, man! We'll help you!
[07:56] ---
    Now, let's work together and tidy up!
[08:00] ---
    You really think they're history enthusiasts?
[08:04] ---
    Well... I certainly have my doubts.
[08:08] ---
    But right now, they're my only hope.
[08:11] ---
    How exactly do you know that man?
[08:14] ---
    We were in the same class in middle school.
[08:20] ---
    Hey! Don't step on that!
[08:22] ---
    Oh no! I tore it!
[08:24] ---
    Don't throw them around!
[08:25] ---
    Don't draw creepy pictures!
[08:27] ---
    He was a miserable creature.
[08:30] ---
    A total failure, both
    athletically and academically.
[08:33] ---
    Even the field trip chaperones
    refused to ride on the same bus as him.
[08:39] ---
    He sounds utterly pathetic.
[08:41] ---
    Yes.
[08:42] ---
    A truly worthless creature,
[08:45] ---
    perpetually stepped on and mocked...
[08:48] ---
    That's how I always thought of Koizumi.
[08:53] ---
    To think he'd turn out to be my last hope...
[08:59] ---
    They're just making the mess worse, dammit!
[09:02] ---
    Please stop!
[09:04] ---
    I don't need your help, anyway!
[09:07] ---
    He yelled at us.
[09:09] ---
    Racking up good vibes is tough.
[09:11] ---
    Can someone please make me some copies?
[09:13] ---
    On it!
[09:15] ---
    Do you think they can handle this?
[09:19] ---
    Let's see. Put in the number of
    copies, set it to black and white...
[09:22] ---
    Are you okay, Chancellor?
[09:24] ---
    Please don't blow it up.
[09:25] ---
    Copiers don't blow—
[09:28] ---
    How did he blow it up?!
[09:32] ---
    Abeshi!
[09:34] ---
    Hidebu!
[09:35] ---
    Gyapa!
[09:38] ---
    K-Koizumi!
[09:41] ---
    Why's everything so explosive around here?
[09:43] ---
    Maybe I'm just clumsy?
    I keep blowing things up!
[09:46] ---
    How can you be so clumsy you blow things up?!
[09:48] ---
    Not good! It's already 5:40!
[09:51] ---
    Koizumi!
[09:53] ---
    You... Are you doing this on purpose?!
[09:56] ---
    Of course not. I don't know
    what's going on either!
[09:59] ---
    If money's what you want,
    I'll give it to you now!
[10:03] ---
    One million!
[10:05] ---
    What? You want more?
[10:07] ---
    Well?
[10:08] ---
    Chancellor. We can pay the rent now!
[10:14] ---
    Th-Thank you, Kuroki-kun!
[10:15] ---
    Wh-What in the world?
[10:18] ---
    That "thank you" was 22 Positive!
[10:21] ---
    Who knew the chancellor would
    generate the good vibes we need?
[10:26] ---
    Wow. I can't believe you
    actually paid your rent.
[10:29] ---
    Now please leave.
[10:30] ---
    You sure?
[10:31] ---
    I can still do the
    72-hour Marathon
[10:32] ---
    Naked
[10:32] ---
    Naked
[10:32] ---
    Dance
[10:32] ---
    Dance
[10:32] ---
    Dance
[10:32] ---
    Fest
[10:32] ---
    Fest
[10:32] ---
    Fest
[10:32] ---
    2020
[10:32] ---
    2020
[10:32] ---
    2020
[10:32] ---
    m 0 0 s 100 0 100 100 0 100 c
[10:32] ---
    Danger
[10:32] ---
    m 0 0 s 100 0 100 100 0 100 c
[10:32] ---
    Danger
[10:32] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[10:32] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[10:32] ---
    72-hour Marathon
[10:32] ---
    Naked
[10:33] ---
    Naked Dance Fest
    2020 if you want.
[10:36] ---
    Don't barf! Jerks.
[10:38] ---
    Well, I'm glad we weren't evicted.
[10:41] ---
    Yeah, me too.
[10:43] ---
    But this Sugar fellow who
    stole the Golden Spell...
[10:47] ---
    Just who could he be?
[10:49] ---
    We'd better catch him before
    things get really bad!
[10:54] ---
    He denied my request?
[10:55] ---
    To: Me
[10:55] ---
    Your request is denied.
[10:55] ---
    Kuroki
[10:57] ---
    How...
[10:59] ---
    How can he deny me?!