# E1 - Golden Spell
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYQ9GJM9Y/golden-spell)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Golden Spell"
**[01:01] ---**
Hey, Koizumi!
**[01:03] ---**
You did a lousy job with
that soldering! Do it again!
**[01:06] ---**
S-Sorry, sir...
**[01:07] ---**
Get it together or you're outta here!
**[01:11] ---**
Dumbass.
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Eagle Talon Chancellor
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Eagle Talon Chancellor
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Eagle Talon Chancellor
***SIGN*** Eagle Talon Chancellor
***SIGN*** Eagle Talon Chancellor
**[01:12] ---**
How do you even leave
the house without dying?
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Dr. Leonardo
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Dr. Leonardo
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Dr. Leonardo
***SIGN*** Dr. Leonardo
***SIGN*** Dr. Leonardo
**[01:21] ---**
Who ordered the extra
large Mont Blanc ramen?!
**[01:24] ---**
No one ordered that, asshole!
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Bosatsutoge
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Bosatsutoge
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Bosatsutoge
***SIGN*** Bosatsutoge
***SIGN*** Bosatsutoge
**[01:31] ---**
Now we'll destroy Earth for sure.
**[01:34] ---**
Emergency, sir!
**[01:35] ---**
There's a massive energy source
heading straight for us!
**[01:39] ---**
What?!
**[01:45] ---**
Oh, Yuririn?
**[01:47] ---**
I'm heading home.
**[01:49] ---**
I've got an early "world
conquest" day tomorrow.
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***SIGN*** Philip
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Philip
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Philip
***SIGN*** Philip
***SIGN*** Philip
**[01:53] ---**
Koizumi-san. Heading home?
**[01:55] ---**
Yeah. I've got world domination tomorrow.
**[01:58] ---**
Boss really chewed you out today, huh?
**[02:00] ---**
It's my own fault.
**[02:02] ---**
I just can't get the hang of this job.
**[02:05] ---**
Well, I *was* surprised it took you four
months to learn how to press a button...
**[02:11] ---**
But I really like the way
you press that button.
**[02:14] ---**
You do it so gently.
**[02:16] ---**
That's reassuring to hear.
**[02:19] ---**
I'm back!
**[02:22] ---**
Wait, no one's here?
**[02:24] ---**
Are they all still asleep?
**[02:27] ---**
Wh-What the...
**[02:33] ---**
Bathroom! Gotta hit the bathroom!
**[02:36] ---**
Wow, that really did a number on his bowels.
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Yoshida
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Yoshida
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***SIGN*** Yoshida
***SIGN*** Yoshida
***SIGN*** Yoshida
**[02:39] ---**
It really worked, Doc!
**[02:40] ---**
Of course it did. I made it.
**[02:44] ---**
What *was* that?
**[02:45] ---**
The Golden Spell.
**[02:47] ---**
Golden Spell?
**[02:49] ---**
That strange series of words can
make a person want to go for a crap?
**[02:52] ---**
Not just go for a crap!
**[02:54] ---**
With a few words, we can
make humans do anything!
**[02:56] ---**
You can? Really?
**[02:58] ---**
Words do more than just impart information.
**[03:01] ---**
They can directly affect your
physical and mental state.
**[03:03] ---**
Asshole!
**[03:03] ---**
A thoughtless remark can kill,
**[03:04] ---**
I wanna die
**[03:05] ---**
or save someone from the depths of despair!
**[03:05] ---**
Kidding, dear!
**[03:06] ---**
Tee-hee!
**[03:07] ---**
I've been the recipient of several
thoughtless remarks today...
**[03:10] ---**
But one kind word gave me the will to go on.
**[03:13] ---**
Precisely!
**[03:13] ---**
But the Golden Spell directly affects
a human's nervous system, organs,
**[03:17] ---**
muscles and skeletal systems,
**[03:19] ---**
and can even make them change shape.
**[03:20] ---**
Hi,
Georgie!
**[03:21] ---**
I can even cook up a spell
that'll turn humans into this.
**[03:25] ---**
You can do all that just with words?!
**[03:28] ---**
With the coronavirus
influencing everything,
**[03:30] ---**
social norms are being set ablaze!
**[03:30] ---**
Social norms
**[03:30] ---**
Social norms
**[03:31] ---**
Blazing hot
**[03:31] ---**
Blazing hot
**[03:31] ---**
Blazing hot
**[03:33] ---**
Working online
**[03:33] ---**
Working online
**[03:33] ---**
Working online
**[03:33] ---**
Everyone's working online,
**[03:35] ---**
making their sisters giddy!
**[03:35] ---**
Sisters giddy!
**[03:35] ---**
Sisters giddy!
**[03:35] ---**
Sisters giddy!
**[03:36] ---**
With the Golden Spell,
**[03:38] ---**
Good For People
Good For Environment
**[03:38] ---**
we can be conscientious citizens
and conquer the world remotely!
**[03:41] ---**
I see. That's true...
**[03:43] ---**
Utilizing sound alone would
let us conquer from a distance.
**[03:46] ---**
Precisely.
**[03:48] ---**
I see.
**[03:50] ---**
Use the Golden Spell to
conquer Earth at once!
**[03:57] ---**
Okay! All ready!
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
**[03:59] ---**
Hey! Anyone want some grasshopper legs?
***SIGN*** Morita
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Morita
***SIGN*** m 5 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** Morita
***SIGN*** Morita
***SIGN*** Morita
**[04:02] ---**
What do you want, Morita?
**[04:03] ---**
We're busy conquering the world from home.
**[04:05] ---**
Conquering the world from home?
**[04:07] ---**
Sounds like another wacky scheme.
**[04:09] ---**
So where should we conquer first?
**[04:12] ---**
For a warm-up, how about
we attack DX Fighter?
**[04:15] ---**
What? You sure about that?
**[04:17] ---**
Chancellor.
**[04:18] ---**
It's a remote attack, remember?
**[04:20] ---**
There's no need to fear the DX Bomber.
**[04:21] ---**
No fear!
**[04:21] ---**
No fear!
**[04:21] ---**
No fear!
**[04:23] ---**
Good point.
**[04:23] ---**
Okay, put us through!
**[04:25] ---**
Com
**[04:25] ---**
Com
**[04:25] ---**
Com
**[04:25] ---**
pany
**[04:25] ---**
pany
**[04:25] ---**
pany
**[04:28] ---**
Mr. President. What's all this?
**[04:30] ---**
Coronavirus measures.
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** DX Fighter
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** DX Fighter
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 95 0 100 100 0 100
***SIGN*** DX Fighter
***SIGN*** DX Fighter
***SIGN*** DX Fighter
**[04:32] ---**
Coronavirus measures?
**[04:33] ---**
All this social distancing is
putting a cramp in my business.
**[04:36] ---**
Even superheroes are having to change it up.
**[04:37] ---**
New
Life-
style
**[04:37] ---**
New
Life-
style
**[04:37] ---**
Visual Storybook
**[04:37] ---**
Visual Storybook
**[04:40] ---**
I must enforce even virtual justice.
**[04:40] ---**
Virtual Hero
**[04:40] ---**
Virtual Hero
**[04:40] ---**
Virtual Hero
**[04:42] ---**
Uh, how exactly do you
enforce virtual justice?
**[04:45] ---**
For instance, if your Wi-Fi's on the fritz,
or your emails keep getting bounced,
**[04:46] ---**
Fi!
**[04:46] ---**
Fi!
**[04:46] ---**
Wi!
**[04:46] ---**
Wi!
**[04:48] ---**
E-mail
**[04:48] ---**
E-mail
**[04:50] ---**
drop me 500 yen and I'll fix it.
**[04:50] ---**
Just 1 Coin Away
**[04:50] ---**
Just 1 Coin Away
**[04:50] ---**
Just 1 Coin Away
**[04:52] ---**
Isn't that just customer support?
**[04:54] ---**
So you hired those men?
**[04:56] ---**
Yeah.
**[04:56] ---**
Former Crotter engineers.
They really know their stuff!
**[05:00] ---**
Now, IT Hero is open for business!
**[05:03] ---**
Mr. President. Someone's asking for you.
**[05:05] ---**
Oh, really, Iwasa?
**[05:06] ---**
Who is it?
**[05:07] ---**
I'll put you through.
**[05:10] ---**
Eagle Talon!
**[05:13] ---**
It's been a while, DX Fighter!
**[05:15] ---**
What's wrong? Your faces are so dirty...
**[05:17] ---**
Are not! We look the same as always!
**[05:19] ---**
And we've embarked on a plan of
conquering the world from home!
**[05:23] ---**
What did you say?!
But I've been superhero-ing from home!
**[05:27] ---**
Have you?
**[05:28] ---**
Then, let's test our might
against yours... from home!
**[05:32] ---**
Very well.
**[05:33] ---**
Hit it, Doc.
**[05:41] ---**
I don't know why...
but suddenly, I need to go number two!
**[05:46] ---**
Magnificent, Yoshida-kun.
**[05:48] ---**
The Golden Spell was a roaring success!
**[05:50] ---**
Yes, he couldn't even fire
his DX Bomber. How pathetic.
**[05:54] ---**
Hey! What did you jerks do?
**[05:56] ---**
Don't you mean "fine gentlemen"?
**[05:58] ---**
You'd better watch how you talk to us, buddy!
**[06:01] ---**
What was that?!
**[06:04] ---**
But... I already went!
**[06:06] ---**
Ah, not again!
**[06:09] ---**
Serves you right, DX Fighter!
**[06:10] ---**
Truly incredible. He'd already gone just now,
and yet it still works on him!
**[06:15] ---**
I keep trying to go, but nothing comes out...
**[06:17] ---**
Well, DX Fighter?
**[06:19] ---**
Do you admit defeat?
**[06:20] ---**
Curse you! You shall pay—
**[06:24] ---**
Gotta take another dump! Dammit!
**[06:27] ---**
That'll keep him in line.
**[06:29] ---**
Chancellor, shall we embark
on true world conquest now?
**[06:32] ---**
Sure, sounds cool.
**[06:34] ---**
Where should we start?
**[06:35] ---**
How about the local green grocer?
**[06:38] ---**
Excellent idea. That guy never yells at us.
**[06:40] ---**
If you don't wanna get yelled at,
don't conquer the world!
**[06:43] ---**
Now, contact the green grocer!
**[06:45] ---**
Hang on a minute.
**[06:46] ---**
Is the green grocer able to video chat?
**[06:49] ---**
Does he need to be able to video chat?
**[06:52] ---**
Of course he does!
**[06:53] ---**
He needs a smartphone, at least.
**[06:55] ---**
Go find out.
**[06:58] ---**
Green
Grocer
**[06:58] ---**
Low prices! Low prices!
**[07:00] ---**
Low prices for thinly-veiled knockoffs!
**[07:02] ---**
Excuse me, sir.
**[07:03] ---**
Hey, Eagle Talon.
**[07:05] ---**
Here for more misshapen produce?
**[07:07] ---**
Not today.
**[07:08] ---**
Sir, do you have a computer?
**[07:10] ---**
Nah.
**[07:11] ---**
What about a smartphone?
**[07:13] ---**
I'm a feature phone man.
**[07:15] ---**
A feature phone won't cut it.
**[07:18] ---**
Ah, forget it.
**[07:20] ---**
I ended up buying him a smartphone.
**[07:22] ---**
Hey, we're trying to conquer the world.
**[07:24] ---**
Just write it off as a work expense.
**[07:25] ---**
That won't fly!
**[07:26] ---**
Now, Doc.
**[07:28] ---**
Let us begin anew.
**[07:30] ---**
Hey.
**[07:30] ---**
What?
**[07:31] ---**
Did you install the app
on the old man's phone?
**[07:34] ---**
No, I didn't!
**[07:37] ---**
Here, press this button...
**[07:39] ---**
Oh, is this one of those apricot things?
**[07:43] ---**
He should have it this time.
**[07:45] ---**
All right! World conquest from home... begin!
**[07:49] ---**
He's on! Great work!
**[07:51] ---**
Hey, old man, can you hear me?
**[07:53] ---**
Hey, can you hear me?
**[07:56] ---**
Chancellor, did you teach
him how to use the app?
**[07:59] ---**
No, I didn't.
**[08:00] ---**
Go do that.
**[08:02] ---**
Account Name
**[08:02] ---**
Green Grocer Guy
**[08:02] ---**
Room Name
**[08:02] ---**
World Conquest
**[08:02] ---**
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**[08:02] ---**
Voice on
**[08:02] ---**
m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
**[08:02] ---**
Voice off
**[08:02] ---**
Virtual Background
**[08:02] ---**
Press this button and you'll enter the chat.
**[08:05] ---**
Then, change your mic settings here...
**[08:08] ---**
Right. Mike Tyson settings...
**[08:12] ---**
It'll work this time, right?
**[08:13] ---**
It's fine now, right? It'll work this time, right?
**[08:15] ---**
Shut up! Quit your complainin'!
**[08:17] ---**
There he is!
**[08:18] ---**
Hey, man! You gettin' this?
**[08:19] ---**
Yeah, I hear you.
**[08:20] ---**
Hey, what's all that? It's creepin' me out!
**[08:23] ---**
Turn off that virtual background already!
**[08:25] ---**
What's going on? What's happening?
**[08:28] ---**
Don't be afraid, Bosatsutoge-kun!
**[08:30] ---**
Don't be afraid! It's going to be fine!
**[08:32] ---**
Chancellor, go fix it!
**[08:35] ---**
Do your settings like this, okay?
**[08:38] ---**
Oh, I get it now.
**[08:40] ---**
What's all this hollering?
**[08:42] ---**
Eagle Talon's trying to conquer me demotely.
**[08:45] ---**
Not "demotely"! Remotely!
**[08:47] ---**
Oh, a remote conference, huh?
**[08:49] ---**
I'm curious about them,
but I've got no idea how they work.
**[08:52] ---**
Get Eagle Talon to teach you, then.
**[08:54] ---**
They'll even buy you a smartphone.
**[08:56] ---**
Sounds great! I want in on that action!
**[08:58] ---**
You can conquer me after!
**[09:00] ---**
Same here, if you teach me how it works!
**[09:02] ---**
Me too!
**[09:05] ---**
Darn, that whole thing cost us 300,000 yen!
**[09:08] ---**
Necessary expenditure in the name of world
domination. Write it all off as a work expense.
**[09:12] ---**
I'm saying, it won't fly!
**[09:13] ---**
Now, Doc, commence conquering
the world... from home!
**[09:18] ---**
Leave it to me!
**[09:20] ---**
Hey, there.
**[09:23] ---**
You must now submit to
the rule of Eagle Talon—
**[09:27] ---**
Could you hang on a minute, Mr. Eagle Talon?
**[09:30] ---**
What now?
**[09:31] ---**
I've gotta deal with customers.
**[09:33] ---**
I've got customers too.
**[09:35] ---**
H-Hang on. I just need a minute!
**[09:38] ---**
Sorry, can't. Evening rush!
**[09:41] ---**
Hey! No fair, you guys!
**[09:45] ---**
Curse them... They'll pay for this.
**[09:48] ---**
Iwasa!
**[09:49] ---**
Oh, uh, yessir. What is it?
**[09:51] ---**
Could you run a Bomber Eats for me?
**[09:52] ---**
What?
**[09:53] ---**
Um, I'm an engineer.
**[09:55] ---**
Silence! You're the youngest here.
**[09:57] ---**
Take it!
**[09:58] ---**
Fine.
**[10:01] ---**
Delu-Bo!
**[10:03] ---**
Everyone's too busy to answer the video call!
**[10:05] ---**
Forget this nonsense. Let's hit
the shopping street ourselves.
**[10:08] ---**
What was all this for, then?!
**[10:09] ---**
Exactly! Why was I buying and
giving out all those smartphones?
**[10:12] ---**
Excuse me. Bomber Eats delivery.
**[10:15] ---**
Bomber Eats?
**[10:17] ---**
Yoshida-kun, did you order something?
**[10:19] ---**
I bet I know what it is.
**[10:21] ---**
The shopping street guys sent us
a thank-you present for the smartphones.
**[10:24] ---**
Oh, I get it.
**[10:26] ---**
That's so nice of them.
**[10:27] ---**
That's definitely not it!
**[10:28] ---**
Come on, let's open it.
**[10:29] ---**
Yes, let's.
**[10:30] ---**
No, don't!
**[10:51] ---**
Golden Spell...