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E1 - The Boy Thought He Was Embarking on a Great Adventure... But, Uh, What's Going on Here?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(This is incomplete since the names are blank on the source file. Feel free to edit them in. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] ---
    Are you close to your mom?
[00:06] ---
    “Question: Are you close to your mom?”
[00:11] ---
    About average, I guess.
[00:11] ---
    Pretty Distant
    Average
    Pretty Close
[00:13] ---
    “Question: Do you talk with your mom?
    How much do you talk with your mom?”

[00:18] ---
    Average
[00:18] ---
    Average.
[00:21] ---
    Ma-kun, how's school?
    Tell me if anything bad happens, okay?
[00:25] ---
    I'll make sure I'm there for you!
[00:28] ---
    "Question. What has your mother said to you
    that made you happy?"

[00:32] ---
    Not much.
[00:33] ---
    Question: What has your mother said to you lately
    that made you happy?
    Not much.
[00:34] ---
    Ma-kun...
[00:35] ---
    Here's sesame, thousand island,
    and Asian dressing for your salad.
[00:36] ---
    "Question. What has your mother said to you lately
    that made you upset?"

[00:44] ---
    Ma-kun, are you listening to your mother?
[00:47] ---
    Hey, come on, Ma-kun...
[00:50] ---
    Huh? What are you writing, Ma-kun?
[00:52] ---
    What has your mother said to you lately
    that made you upset?
[00:53] ---
    Don't look at my stuff! You're in the way!
[00:56] ---
    It's really annoying
    when she calls me by a nickname.

[01:00] ---
    "Question. If you went on an adventure
    with your mother, would you get closer?"

[01:06] ---
    What? Talk about a stupid question.
[01:10] ---
    Maybe, I guess? No idea.
[01:12] ---
    Masato Oosuki
    Stamp Here
[01:15] ---
    Masato Oosuki.
[02:50] ---
    The Boy Thought He Was Embarking on a Great Adventure...
    But, Uh, What’s Going on Here?
[02:50] ---
    Hello. My name is Masumi Shirase.
[02:54] ---
    I'm informing you that I'm here
    as part of a survey the Cabinet Office is doing.
[03:01] ---
    Since “Shirase” means to inform.
[03:02] ---
    H-Hi. Did you need to introduce yourself
    with a bad pun?
[03:05] ---
    I'm informing you that,
[03:09] ---
    since so many kids made fun of me
    when I was little, I decided to just own it.
[03:14] ---
    That's one way to live, I guess.
[03:17] ---
    - Listen, Ma-kun, Shirase brought us big news—
    - Mamako.
[03:21] ---
    Y-Yes?
[03:22] ---
    I'll be the one to inform him of that.
    Because I am Shirase.
[03:26] ---
    And informing people is my job!
[03:30] ---
    Ma-kun, I'll go do something else for a while.
[03:35] ---
    Now then.
[03:36] ---
    Cutting to the chase, I am here to inform you
    that you will now begin a new life.
[03:42] ---
    Huh?
[03:43] ---
    First, a question.
[03:46] ---
    In a survey conducted by the Cabinet Office,
    it was revealed that many users of online games
[03:51] ---
    desire to actually enter
    the world of a video game.
[03:57] ---
    Do you feel the same way?
[03:58] ---
    Sure, if that were possible,
    but that's not something—
[04:02] ---
    Now!
[04:06] ---
    And now I hit the enter key!
[04:10] ---
    Is this... Could it be?
[04:11] ---
    Yes, it's just what you think!
[04:14] ---
    It is... It is!
[04:20] ---
    It's sending me to the world of the game!
[04:28] ---
    Ma-kun, wait!
[04:31] ---
    Mom... I'm sorry, I'm going.
[04:34] ---
    I was always so embarrassed around you,
    so I said the most awful things.

[04:35] ---
    Ma-kun!
[04:39] ---
    Ma-kun!
[04:39] ---
    But now, if I can go on an incredible adventure
    and become stronger...

[04:42] ---
    Wait!
[04:44] ---
    Maybe I can be more honest around you.
[04:46] ---
    Ma-kun!
[04:48] ---
    Someday, I'll come back, I swear it!
[04:50] ---
    And when I do, I hope I can hug you tight
    and tell you, “I'm home.”

[05:03] ---
    A fairy?
[05:05] ---
    There were things like this
    in the online game I played...
[05:09] ---
    But seriously?
[05:11] ---
    Seriously?
[05:14] ---
    I'm here!
[05:16] ---
    I'm really here, inside a game world!
[05:19] ---
    I made it! Hello, unreality!
[05:23] ---
    This is it! This is what I was waiting for!
[05:27] ---
    Yes! Yes! Yes!
[05:30] ---
    Ma-kun, you meanie.
[05:33] ---
    I told you to wait so I could come with you,
    but you didn't wait at all!
[05:38] ---
    You made me really sad!
[05:41] ---
    Here we go.
[05:43] ---
    It's time to go on lots of fun adventures
    with your mom, Ma-kun!
[05:48] ---
    Wha... What the hell?
[05:53] ---
    Step, step, step.
[05:55] ---
    Teleportation Palace
[05:55] ---
    Welcome! I am the King,
    the master of Teleportation Palace.
[06:01] ---
    Before we begin, tell me your names.
[06:04] ---
    I am Mamako Oosuki!
[06:07] ---
    This is Ma-kun, my son!
[06:09] ---
    Mamako and her son Ma-kun, yes? Now then—
[06:13] ---
    Hang on a second, Your Highness.
[06:15] ---
    My name is Masato! Masato!
[06:19] ---
    Alright. I'll register it that way.
[06:21] ---
    Registered
[06:22] ---
    Could that be an initial account registration?
[06:26] ---
    Indeed!
[06:27] ---
    Registered
[06:28] ---
    Seriously?
[06:29] ---
    Also, once you register,
    you can't change anything!
[06:33] ---
    Why didn’t you say so?
[06:34] ---
    Oh crap! I registered with my real name!
[06:38] ---
    No! Don't play the fanfare!
[06:40] ---
    Now then, allow me to present you
    with your basic stats.
[06:44] ---
    Accept them!
[06:46] ---
    Masato
    Normal Hero
    (Combat Yes / Crafting No)
    Masato's Clothes
[06:46] ---
    So my class is normal hero, huh?
[06:50] ---
    Mamako
    Normal Hero's Mother
    (Combat Yes / Crafting No)
    Mamako's Clothes
[06:50] ---
    Um, Your Highness,
    what does it mean that my class is normal hero?
[06:55] ---
    Normal means normal.
[06:57] ---
    You're not expected to do anything
    as grand as save the world.
[07:00] ---
    A normal level of closeness.
    A normal level of happiness.
[07:03] ---
    As the embodiment of what you are,
    a normal hero and a normal hero's mom,
[07:08] ---
    these are the things that you should strive for!
[07:13] ---
    Now go, hero!
[07:16] ---
    Okay, off we go!
[07:18] ---
    Not! I’m completely confused! Explain!
[07:22] ---
    Listen carefully, then.
[07:25] ---
    Basically, you're in a closed beta
    for an online game.
[07:31] ---
    We used special technology that we can't explain
    easily to put the users themselves in the game.
[07:36] ---
    So we want you to go test play it for us!
[07:39] ---
    That's the deal!
[07:40] ---
    Okay, that was straightforward.
[07:42] ---
    Please note that
    most test players were chosen
[07:46] ---
    based on the strict criteria
    involving their response to a certain survey.
[07:49] ---
    But some unfortunate individuals who
    wrote their names on what was supposed
[07:53] ---
    to be an anonymous survey
    were chosen as well.
[07:56] ---
    It was easier to track them down, you see.
[07:58] ---
    I won't mention names, though.
[08:01] ---
    Who could do something so stupid...
    Wait, is that me?
[08:04] ---
    Masato Oosuki
    Stamp Here
[08:06] ---
    Now, let me tell you about the game itself.
[08:09] ---
    Since it’s still in beta,
    it doesn’t have an official title yet.
[08:14] ---
    For now, we’re calling it an MMMMMORPG (Beta).
[08:21] ---
    How many M's does it really need?
[08:24] ---
    The genre is “Fantasy MMORPG.”
    It offers a wide variety of classes to choose from.
[08:30] ---
    You can fight. You can craft.
    You can decorate your house with in-game items.
[08:35] ---
    You’re free to play the game any way you like.
[08:39] ---
    But my class is already...
[08:42] ---
    We gave you a class nobody had taken,
    so that we could gather data.
[08:48] ---
    That can’t be changed either!
[08:50] ---
    You’re already taking choices from me...
    But, well, this is a valuable experience, right?
[08:56] ---
    I get to test play a full-dive system,
    and I get to be a hero too.
[09:00] ---
    I think I’ve got the basic idea.
    Basically, it’s an online game, right?
[09:05] ---
    I’m glad you’re quick on the uptake.
    What about you, Lady Mamako?
[09:11] ---
    Um, well...
[09:12] ---
    What is this, um... "account," then?
[09:16] ---
    - We have to start there?
    - We have to start there?
[09:18] ---
    Just out of curiosity,
    what do you think an "account" is?
[09:24] ---
    Account... Um...
[09:28] ---
    Ah, ah, ah, ah!
[09:33] ---
    Is that it?
[09:36] ---
    Well, it's faster for you
    to just find out for yourself.
[09:39] ---
    You have Sir Masato with you, after all.
[09:41] ---
    You can read the guidebook, too.
[09:43] ---
    Oh, thank you!
[09:48] ---
    Ma-kun, did you hear?
[09:50] ---
    They played a "Pa-pa-ra" for me, too!
[09:52] ---
    It's time for the next event!
[09:55] ---
    Come with me!
[09:57] ---
    Don't go so fast!
[09:59] ---
    We haven't finished discussing
    the most important thing here!
[10:01] ---
    Why...
[10:03] ---
    Why is my mom here?
[10:05] ---
    Why is your mother with you?
[10:08] ---
    That is the question that’s deeply intertwined
    with the purpose of this game.
[10:12] ---
    If I told you, the GM's would force you
    to do their bidding.
[10:16] ---
    Instead, it would be best if you realize it naturally
    through the course of your journeys.
[10:22] ---
    U-Um...
[10:24] ---
    Thus, Hero Masato,
[10:26] ---
    I shall give you an amazing first-time player bonus
    to distract you before you ask more questions!
[10:31] ---
    Step, step, step.
[10:34] ---
    I can take one of these?
[10:36] ---
    Indeed. These are actually a reward
    for completing the game's most difficult quests.
[10:42] ---
    But users these days won't play your game
    unless you give them something great to start!
[10:48] ---
    I really didn't want to know that.
[10:51] ---
    People these days are so choosy.
[10:53] ---
    Back in the day, heroes used to start
    their adventures with sticks for weapons.
[10:57] ---
    The person from the NES generation can shut up.
[10:59] ---
    Now, pick one of these swords, Sir Masato!
[11:01] ---
    Oh, okay!
[11:06] ---
    I don't know why,
    but I feel like this is the sword for me!

[11:10] ---
    I'm sure of it!
[11:16] ---
    That sword is called
    the “Holy Sword of the Great Heavens,” Firmament.
[11:20] ---
    In the distant past,
    when this world's sky was covered in the darkness,
[11:26] ---
    it banished all the darkness with a single swing!
[11:30] ---
    That's what the flavor text says!
[11:32] ---
    I didn't need that last line!
[11:33] ---
    But still, it seems like an awesome sword!
[11:37] ---
    Only a hero can hold a holy sword.
    You are indeed a true hero!
[11:43] ---
    Well, "true hero" is going too far.
[11:46] ---
    I simply stated the truth.
[11:48] ---
    In fact, it's up to the test players whether
    the game moves out of closed beta into release.
[11:54] ---
    As a true hero, your deeds
    will surely lead this world to a new dimension.
[12:01] ---
    Lead the world?
[12:04] ---
    Well as the one hero chosen by the holy sword,
    I suppose I can give it my best shot!
[12:11] ---
    Okay, maybe I'll take a sword too!
[12:14] ---
    Mom?
[12:17] ---
    Here I go!
[12:19] ---
    She pulled out both at once?
[12:22] ---
    If I left one of them here,
    the holy swords would get lonely, right?
[12:27] ---
    You know, these look really sharp!
[12:31] ---
    Would it be okay to use them when I'm cooking?
[12:34] ---
    What do you think, Ma-kun?
[12:42] ---
    Welcome to the tutorial battle.
[12:46] ---
    Begin the battle!
[12:48] ---
    Just watch me, Ma-kun!
[12:49] ---
    Your mom will do her best!
[12:51] ---
    Terra di Madre.
[12:52] ---
    The very life itself that was born from the land
    at the dawn of creation.

[12:56] ---
    It is known as “The Holy Sword of Mother Earth,”
    and it became the source of all life in this world.
[13:09] ---
    Your mom won’t lose!
[13:11] ---
    I want to look good for you, Ma-kun!
[13:14] ---
    Altura.
[13:15] ---
    A miraculous blade that saved the world
    from a huge, world-wide flood.

[13:19] ---
    It is “The Holy Sword of the Mother Ocean,”
[13:21] ---
    and is a symbol of the contract between land and sea
    that split the world between them.

[13:32] ---
    Ma-kun, now it's time to show me your power!
    Good luck!
[13:36] ---
    Oh, right.
[13:46] ---
    You did it, Ma-kun!
    Amazing! Amazing!
[13:52] ---
    What's wrong, Ma-kun?
    Did you get hurt somewhere? Let me see!
[13:57] ---
    No, that's not it.
[13:59] ---
    This isn't right! This is all wrong!
[14:03] ---
    Why? Why?
[14:05] ---
    Why do you get two-hit multi-target attacks
    for your basic attack skill?
[14:14] ---
    My attack is so lame...
[14:16] ---
    That's not true! Your attack was amazing!
[14:20] ---
    You fired off that beam thing
    and really surprised me!
[14:24] ---
    You were so cool!
    So for now, get off the ground!
[14:28] ---
    We need to go to the next one!
    It'll be more fun!
[14:32] ---
    Ma-kun?
[14:33] ---
    If you want to go on an adventure, do it yourself!
[14:37] ---
    Well, once you get out in the field,
    there might be monsters and stuff.
[14:40] ---
    But with your firepower it won't be a problem!
    You'll win with your first swing.
[14:44] ---
    Firepower? I can't create fire.
    I'm not a stove burner.
[14:49] ---
    Not that kind of firepower.
[14:51] ---
    Now go on. Just leave me here.
[14:55] ---
    B-But...
[14:57] ---
    The guidebook said that if your basic attack skill
    gives you two-hit multi-target attacks,
[14:58] ---
    Easy-to-Understand Guidebook
[15:02] ---
    your child will be really happy!
[15:04] ---
    He'll give you a big hug and tell you
    he wants to go on adventures with you!
[15:09] ---
    Well, normally, you'd be happy, but...
[15:13] ---
    Then why?
[15:17] ---
    Don't tell me...
[15:19] ---
    I don't think it's possible, but...
[15:21] ---
    Is it because I’m your mom?
[15:26] ---
    Listen. I need you to explain this.
[15:29] ---
    E-Explain?
[15:31] ---
    You know something, don't you?
[15:33] ---
    You talked to that Shirase person
    and the people running this, right?
[15:38] ---
    Well...
[15:39] ---
    Honestly, the fact that
    I'm inside a video game is weird enough.
[15:43] ---
    But I'm happy to be here,
    so I won't ask questions about that.
[15:46] ---
    But this is different.
[15:48] ---
    What's different, obviously,
    is the fact that you came with me.
[15:53] ---
    Other mothers sometimes get sent
    inside video games with their sons...
[15:58] ---
    They do not! They most definitely do not!
    That's ridiculous!
[16:01] ---
    At least, I hope not!
[16:03] ---
    This is a fantasy for young men,
    and there's no room for parents here!
[16:07] ---
    You're just in the way!
[16:09] ---
    You're being a meanie, Ma-kun.
    Your mom is very upset!
[16:13] ---
    Nobody cares. Just answer me!
[16:17] ---
    O-Okay! I'll tell you.
[16:19] ---
    Tell me why you came with me.
    Explain it in detail. Come on.
[16:24] ---
    B-But they told me it's better
    not to explain what's going on at first—
[16:29] ---
    So you know something
    but you won't tell me, right?
[16:33] ---
    Listen, Mom, if you don't start talking...
[16:37] ---
    Then what?
[16:39] ---
    I'll disown you!
[16:46] ---
    Oh, I didn't mean...
[16:48] ---
    I'm sorry!
[16:50] ---
    I just don't know how to explain.
[16:56] ---
    Shirase and the others
    seem to have their reasons,
[17:00] ---
    so I don't know how much I can tell you!
[17:02] ---
    But I'm not trying to lie to you or hurt you!
    Please believe that!
[17:12] ---
    O-Okay...
[17:13] ---
    I want to go on lots of adventures with you,
    have lots of talks,
[17:17] ---
    and do our best at a bunch of things,
    and then we can be a really close mother and son.
[17:22] ---
    That was the only reason...
[17:24] ---
    I get it! I get it! I get it, okay?
[17:26] ---
    I totally understand!
[17:28] ---
    So Ma-kun...
[17:30] ---
    Y-Yes?
[17:31] ---
    Don't tell me you'll disown me.
    That makes me so sad!
[17:36] ---
    It's the most painful thing
    anybody's ever said said to me...
[17:40] ---
    It's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
[17:46] ---
    What am I doing?
[17:48] ---
    Mom, I'm sorry!
[17:49] ---
    The words just came out of my mouth!
    I didn't mean it!
[17:54] ---
    So, um... uh...
[17:57] ---
    I love it when you're kind,
    and care about your mother.
[18:04] ---
    It's okay. You can raise your head.
[18:08] ---
    Come on, you need to look at someone
    when you're talking to them!
[18:13] ---
    O-Okay.
[18:15] ---
    I want to go on lots of adventures with you!
[18:19] ---
    Will you let me join your party?
[18:22] ---
    Well, I guess you can join my party, or...
[18:26] ---
    Alright, fine. You can come with me.
[18:30] ---
    Okay, I will!
[18:33] ---
    Thanks for having me, Ma-kun!
[18:36] ---
    Yeah, well, glad to have you, Mom.
[18:43] ---
    Pyun!
[18:50] ---
    So this is the first country,
    the Kingdom of Mommalia?
[18:51] ---
    Kingdom of Mommalia
[18:56] ---
    It's totally fantasy!
[18:58] ---
    So amazing!
[19:00] ---
    I'm really inside a video game!
[19:03] ---
    Huh? But the faces...
[19:06] ---
    They couldn't get the models done in time, huh?
[19:11] ---
    You and I need to get ready for our adventure!
[19:16] ---
    So first...
[19:17] ---
    Adventurer's Guild
[19:18] ---
    We gather our party at the adventurer's guild, huh?
[19:22] ---
    Everybody here seems pretty rough.
[19:27] ---
    Well, that's fine with me!
[19:28] ---
    All you normally ever say is "Yeah" or "Huh,"
    and now look at how cool you're acting!
[19:34] ---
    I've discovered a new side of my son!
[19:36] ---
    Shut up! You're ruining the mood!
[19:39] ---
    Okay, Ma-kun.
    Can I have my sword for a second?
[19:43] ---
    Sure, but... what for?
[19:55] ---
    We need them to take us seriously,
    so let's make sure we start off on the right foot.
[19:59] ---
    That's what the guidebook said!
[20:01] ---
    No... This isn't good.
[20:04] ---
    It’s either PK or attempted PK...
[20:05] ---
    Player Killing
[20:08] ---
    Welcome to the adventurer's guild, travelers.
[20:12] ---
    I inform-orm you that I am Shirarase,
    the front desk woman.
[20:18] ---
    You're Shirase, right?
[20:19] ---
    I am Shirarase.
[20:21] ---
    Step, step, step.
[20:23] ---
    Once again, welcome to the adventurer's guild.
[20:27] ---
    Thank you for taking care of us. So um...
[20:30] ---
    Are you okay?
[20:32] ---
    You're still bleeding.
[20:34] ---
    It's just an in-game effect.
[20:36] ---
    Also, I am an in-game object.
    Not a PC or an NPC.
[20:41] ---
    Thus, there will be no PK penalty applied.
[20:43] ---
    I see.
[20:45] ---
    That's great, right, Mom?
[20:47] ---
    That's right!
[20:48] ---
    So basically, the objects fought,
    and the NEC's PC won the PK battle!
[20:53] ---
    Something like that, right?
[20:55] ---
    Now, allow me to introduce you
    to the adventurers registered with our guild.
[21:00] ---
    Here you go.
[21:00] ---
    Okay, as a veteran MMORPG player,
    I'll select the best party members for us!
[21:09] ---
    It's decided!
[21:10] ---
    Name
    Rushera
[21:10] ---
    Rushera the heavy knight.
    Torino the thief. Sallitey the elf.
[21:12] ---
    Name
    Torino
[21:14] ---
    Name
    Sallitey
[21:15] ---
    Mom, we're going to recruit these three first.
[21:18] ---
    Take a look.
[21:20] ---
    Oh my.
[21:22] ---
    They're all cute girls. Which is your type?
[21:25] ---
    Why are you asking that?
[21:28] ---
    Oh, because it's very important!
[21:32] ---
    You're going to live together, experience lots
    of things together and grow together.
[21:38] ---
    That's what it means to let someone
    join your party, right?
[21:41] ---
    I think it's basically the same thing as
    finding a girlfriend, or a marriage partner.
[21:48] ---
    W-Well... maybe you're
    not that far off the mark.
[21:52] ---
    Okay, so now it's time
    for their interviews with mom.
[21:57] ---
    Interviews with mom!
[23:35] ---
    It’s Just a Coincidence They’re All Girls. Got That?
    Wipe That Smirk Off Your Face.
[23:35] ---
    You stripped off a mother’s clothes
    in front of her son! You must be punished!