8 - What's a Surefire Way to Remedy an ED?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Comical Psychosomatic Medicine!
SIGN    Episode 8
    "What's a Surefire
    Way to Remedy an ED?"
[00:14] Asuna
    Hey, Onee-chan, look at all these shells!
[00:17] Iyashi
    And look at all these moray eels!
[00:20] Iyashi
    Try and catch them!
[00:21] Asuna
    Hey! Onee-chan!
[00:24] Ryou
    Why am I the only one
    in a white coat, anyway?
[00:27] Ryou
    I just look like a pervert.
[00:29] Himeru
    E-Excuse me...
[00:34] Ryou
    What is that creature?!
SIGN    Sploosh
[00:41] Asuna
    O-Onee-chan?!
[00:43] Iyashi
    Himeru?
[00:44] Ryou
    There's another Kangoshi now?!
[00:47] Himeru
    I'm embarrassed to be seen, so I was
    hiding behind the sea cucumbers...
[00:50] Ryou
    I'm so embarrassed!
[00:51] Ryou
    I'm far more embarrassed than you are!
[00:52] Iyashi
    Come on, Himeru. Introduce yourself.
[00:55] Himeru
    N-Nice to meet you, Mr. Sea Cucumber.
[00:57] Ryou
    Who introduces themselves to a sea cucumber?!
[00:58] Iyashi
    No, no. That's a sea cucumber, too,
    but I meant the one in the white coat.
[01:03] Ryou
    I'm a sea cucumber?!
[01:05] Himeru
    I hold burning passion in my heart!
[01:07] Himeru
    I will protect your heart!
[01:09] Ryou
    A catch phrase?!
[01:10] Himeru
    I'm the second Kangoshi
    daughter, Kangochi Pime!
[01:12] Ryou
    She said it wrong!
[01:13] Asuna
    Onee-chan, you came to ask Dr.
    Ryou something, didn't you?
[01:16] Himeru
    Oh, r-right...
SIGN    Poing
[01:18] Himeru
    It's actually about the urinary organs...
    Rather, the genital organs...
[01:19] [SONG] SFX
    Floop
SIGN    Poing
[01:21] Himeru
    A lot of people come to me
    for help with ED lately.
[01:21] [SONG] SFX
    Floop
SIGN    Poing
[01:23] [SONG] SFX
    Floop
[01:24] Ryou
    Ah, ED, huh?
[01:25] Ryou
    And don't talk about that
    while holding a sea cucumber!
[01:27] Himeru
    The pervert in the trunks and
    white coat is being mean!
[01:30] Ryou
    Pervert? Me?!
[01:31] Iyashi
    Yes...
[01:32] Iyashi
    It is strange that he's wearing trunks.
[01:34] Ryou
    I'd be more of a pervert
    if I weren't wearing them!
[01:37] Ryou
    Now then, today we'll be
    talking about ED once more.
SIGN    °The swimsuit fan service is now over.
    Thank you for understanding.
[01:41] Asuna
    Question, Doctor!
[01:42] Asuna
    At what point is ED considered ED?
[01:44] Iyashi
    Most likely...
SIGN    Is it harder than diamond?
SIGN    Can it hammer nails?
SIGN    Can it pierce concrete?
SIGN    If you answered "No" to any of these → ED
[01:46] Ryou
    That's too strict!
SIGN    •It takes a long time to achieve erection.
    •Erection is lost before completing the act.
    •Difficult to achieve erection on certain days.
[01:47] Ryou
    Many people have the wrong idea.
[01:49] Ryou
    ED doesn't mean one can't
    get an erection at all.
[01:52] Ryou
    Any condition resulting in
    low sexual satisfaction,
[01:54] Ryou
    including these, is considered ED.
[01:56] Asuna
    Doctor...
[01:57] Asuna
    This anime has used the word "erection"
    more than any adult anime.
[02:00] Ryou
    It's an episode about
    erections! I can't help it!
SIGN    We might make the Guinness Book of World Erectords
SIGN    Erectords!?
[02:02] Himeru
    So, what causes ED?
SIGN    Physical Causes
SIGN    Mental Causes
[02:04] [SONG] Text
    Causes of ED
[02:04] Ryou
    There are mental and physical causes.
[02:06] Ryou
    The most serious causes are physical.
SIGN    Physical Causes
SIGN    Diabetes • High Blood Pressure
    Hyperlipidemia • Stroke
    Heart Attack, etc.
[02:08] Asuna
    What? But those conditions
    aren't that common, are they?
[02:12] Ryou
    Fool! Don't take these lightly!
[02:15] Asuna
    Who are you now?!
[02:16] Ryou
    The greatest cause of ED is
    said to be arteriosclerosis.
SIGN    Normal Blood Arteriosclerosis
    Blood flows easily Blood flow restricted
[02:20] Ryou
    Hardened arteries make already-narrow
    blood vessels even narrower,
SIGN    Width of Various Arteries
SIGN    Genitalia Around the Heart Around the Brain
[02:24] Ryou
    making erection difficult.
SIGN    Shwing
[02:26] Ryou
    In other words,
[02:27] Ryou
    if you're prone to ED and you also suffer
    from any of these, seek attention!
SIGN    Someone in your family has one of these conditions. You don't exercise much. You like sweets.
[02:31] Ryou
    Don't just brush it off as "in your mind."
[02:33] Ryou
    Exercise and watch what you eat! Understand?!
SIGN    Squeak...
[02:36] Ryou
    She passed out?!
[02:37] Asuna
    It's because you're shouting so loud, Doctor.
SIGN    Himeru's Heart Genital Arteries
[02:40] Asuna
    Onee-chan's heart is very small and delicate.
[02:43] Ryou
    What?! Wait, don't compare
    it to genital arteries!
SIGN    Mental Causes
[02:46] [SONG] Text
    •Extreme anxiety
    •Work stress
    •Mental conditions such as depression
[02:46] Ryou
    Of course, it may be for
    strictly mental reasons.
[02:49] Ryou
    Things like stress and extreme anxiety
    can also restrict blood flow,
SIGN    Mental conditions
    such as depression
SIGN    Extreme Anxiety
    
    Work Stress
[02:52] Ryou
    making erection difficult.
[02:54] Asuna
    I see. So either way,
    it comes back to blood vessels.
[02:57] Asuna
    How do you reduce anxiety, then?
[02:59] Ryou
    The best way is to express you're anxious.
[03:02] Asuna
    Huh?
SIGN    I can't be nervous!
[03:03] Ryou
    The more you tell yourself not to be
    nervous, the more pressure it puts on you.
SIGN    Get up!
[03:06] Ryou
    Stating that you're nervous
    will reduce the stress,
[03:08] Ryou
    making erection easier.
SIGN    I'm so nervous...
[03:09] Guy
    Sorry... I'm so nervous...
SIGN    You need an enema?
[03:11] Girl
    You need an enema?
[03:12] Ryou
    There's no way she could
    mishear him that much.
[03:13] Himeru
    But you can't tell whether the
    cause is mental or physical, right?
[03:17] Ryou
    No, either way, blood vessels are the
[03:19] Ryou
    root cause, so there are solutions.
SIGN    Viagra
    Levitra
    Cialis
[03:21] Ryou
    Yes, when we think of ED,
[03:23] Ryou
    we think of drugs like
[03:25] Ryou
    Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis.
[03:27] Asuna
    But I've often heard that drugs
    like these are bad for your heart.
[03:31] Ryou
    Well, aside from people with
    existing heart conditions,
[03:34] Ryou
    these drugs themselves are
    not entirely to blame.
[03:36] Ryou
    Most effects on the heart
    are caused not by the drug
[03:39] Ryou
    so much as by what you do after taking it.
[03:42] Asuna
    What would you do after taking it?
[03:43] Ryou
    You're asking that now?
[03:45] Himeru
    Can you buy the drugs online?
[03:48] Ryou
    Well, when drugs are sold online,
    it's not uncommon to find fakes.
[03:52] Ryou
    It's safer to get a prescription
    from a medical institution.
SIGN    Rule of Paraguay
[03:55] Guy
    Congratulations!
[03:55] Asuna
    They sent him Paraguay instead of Viagra...
[03:56] All
    King! King! King!
[03:58] Ryou
    A fake that big isn't even possible!
SIGN    Paraguay
[04:00] Guy
    Delivery.
[04:01] Himeru
    They sent him a chipmunk instead of Cialis...
SIGN    Are you mean?
[04:03] Ryou
    Don't swallow that!
    It won't give you an erection!
[04:06] Iyashi
    They sent him a young, rich, faithful,
    handsome young man instead of Levitra.
[04:07] Guy
    Hi!
[04:10] Ryou
    Okay, that's not even a pun.
    That's just what you wish for.
[04:13] Ryou
    Regardless, if you're
    successful even just once,
[04:16] Ryou
    it may work out naturally the next time.
SIGN    Today's Theme:
    "ED"
    (Erectile Dysfunction)
[04:19] Ryou
    Don't stress over it alone.
    Start by opening up to someone.
[04:22] All
    Okay!
[04:23] Ryou
    By the way, Himeru-san,
[04:25] Ryou
    what advice would you give to a man
    who's too nervous to achieve an erection?
[04:29] Himeru
    U-Um...
[04:32] Himeru
    Don't stiffen up so much...
[04:35] Ryou
    That's a bit contradictory.
SIGN    This program is a work of fiction. There is no guarantee that the treatments mentioned herein
    will work. Before having a medical exam, make sure the doctor deals in these treatments first.
SIGN    If you're suffering from contradictions,
    visit the mental clinic!