9 - How Do You Remedy Fetishism?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Comical Psychosomatic Medicine!
[00:04] Asuna
    There is one hidden difference
    between these two images.
[00:07] Himeru
    Can you tell where it is?
[00:10] Ryou
    Of course they can tell!
    It's not even hidden!
SIGN    Episode 9
    "How Do You Remedy Fetishism?"
[00:14] Asuna
    The answer is...
[00:17] Asuna
    The shape of the leaves!
SIGN    Did you notice it?
[00:19] Ryou
    What?! There's something else on
    a completely different level!
[00:21] Himeru
    Actually, Iyashi-oneechan's hair does
    look a bit shorter in this one.
[00:26] Asuna
    Yeah, now that you mention
    it, her hair is...
[00:28] Ryou
    Is that what your sister looks
    like with shorter hair?!
[00:31] Asuna
    If you didn't notice the leaves,
    you have problems paying attention!
SIGN    Point
[00:36] Ryou
    That's an issue of attentiveness?!
SIGN    Boom
[00:37] Asuna
    Okay, then, you're gullible!
[00:39] Ryou
    Isn't there some other way to put it?!
[00:40] Himeru
    Then you have such an abnormal
    fascination with men in negligee
[00:44] Himeru
    that you couldn't see anything else.
[00:46] Ryou
    That's the worst result possible!
[00:47] Shitaki
    Honestly, why can't you
    admit to your mistake?
[00:50] ---
    That's not manly at all.
[00:51] Ryou
    Gah! He's in the conversation now!
[00:53] Ryou
    Also, I don't want to be lectured
    about manliness by a guy in negligee!
[00:57] Shitaki
    But more importantly, who am I?!
[00:58] Ryou
    That's what I want to know!
[01:00] Shitaki
    You want to know that badly?
[01:02] Ryou
    No, not really.
[01:07] Asuna
    Why does he have my underwear?!
SIGN    Slide
SIGN    Slide
[01:09] Himeru
    And my underwear, too! H-He's a pervert!
[01:12] Ryou
    Um, he was a pervert before that, too.
[01:15] Shitaki
    Girls' underwear is mine,
[01:18] Shitaki
    and my underwear is mine!
[01:20] Ryou
    Are you Gi*n?!
[01:22] Shitaki
    I wear it on my head, therefore I am!
[01:27] Shitaki
    I am the king of underwear fetishes,
[01:29] Shitaki
    Shitaki Fueichi!
[01:32] Ryou
    Your catch phrase, your name,
    and the way you dress
[01:34] ---
    are all disgusting!
[01:35] Asuna
    R-Run, Onee-chan! Leave this to me!
SIGN    Shove Shove
[01:39] Himeru
    No! You run first!
[01:39] Ryou
    Sisterly love in words only...
[01:41] Shitaki
    Oh, don't worry, ladies.
[01:43] Shitaki
    I have no interest in the
    people who wear these.
SIGN    Crack
SIGN    Thud
SIGN    Spin Spin Spin
SIGN    Mmf Mmf
[01:48] Iyashi
    So, since he's dangerous,
    I captured him with my underwear.
[01:51] Ryou
    Th-Those binds are...?!
[01:53] Himeru
    Um, is he mentally ill, too?
[01:55] Asuna
    Surely not! If he's sick,
    psychiatry would be a really tough jo—
[01:59] Ryou
    Well, yes.
[02:00] Ryou
    He has a disorder known in
    psychiatry as "fetishism."
SIGN    Fetishism
[02:04] Asuna
    Psychiatry is a tough job!
[02:07] Himeru
    Um, that means he has a fetish, right?
[02:10] Ryou
    Yes.
[02:10] Himeru
    I-I don't know much about it...
[02:12] Himeru
    Is it like a foot fetish, bust fetish,
[02:14] Himeru
    nape-after-a-bath fetish,
    navel-showing-under-a-tight-shirt fetish,
[02:17] Himeru
    or slightly-sweaty-clavicle-on-
    a-summer-day fetish?
[02:20] Ryou
    You don't know much?
    I'd say you know too much.
[02:23] Himeru
    But at what point is it an illness?
[02:25] Ryou
    This is what the DSM-IV says.
SIGN    When intense sexual urges, fantasies,
    or behavior toward an inanimate object occur
    continually or repeatedly for six months or more.
[02:29] Asuna
    It has to go on for six months, then?
[02:32] Master
    I will not recognize you as a fanatic
    if you only have a five-month history!
[02:34] Master
    Come back after washing
    your face with a bra!
[02:36] Guy
    Damn!
[02:37] Ryou
    The diagnostic criteria aren't a contest
    of how long you've been a fanatic!
[02:40] Iyashi
    Six months, huh?
[02:41] Iyashi
    Then if it's this type of underwear,
    he'd be accepted right away, right?
SIGN    I wore these for
    six months! -Mizuho
[02:45] Guy
    How about this, Master?!
[02:46] Master
    Good. I initiate you into
    the art of fetishism.
[02:49] Ryou
    Secondhand underwear?!
[02:49] Ryou
    And those "six months"
    are totally irrelevant!
[02:52] Ryou
    What really counts is the
    "inanimate object" part.
[02:55] Ryou
    That means foot fetishes and bust fetishes
    are not classified as fetishism.
SIGN    Whew
[02:59] Asuna
    What types are there, then?
[03:01] Ryou
    There are many,
[03:02] Ryou
    such as high heels, low heels, stilettos,
[03:05] ---
    mules, sneakers, pumps, long boots,
    fur boots, rain boots, sandals...
[03:07] Asuna
    Why are they all shoes?
[03:09] ---
    Are you a shoe fetishist?!
SIGN    Today's Theme:
    "Fetishism"
[03:10] Himeru
    Then does anyone who's
    excited by an inanimate
[03:13] ---
    object suffer from fetishism?
[03:15] Ryou
    Actually, there's one other condition.
SIGN    Those sexual urges, fantasies, or behaviors cause considerable suffering or interference in the patient's social life and or career.
[03:19] Ryou
    In other words, if it doesn't
    cause problems, then it's fine.
[03:21] Himeru
    What sorts of problems?
[03:23] Ryou
    For example...
SIGN    I can't get
    turned on
    unless you
    wear a
    Chinese
    outfit!
[03:25] Ryou
    Since it's causing problems
    in this couple's married life,
SIGN    No
    way
    !!
[03:28] ---
    it may be diagnosed as an illness...
SIGN    You'll wear a Chinese outfit for me?
[03:30] Ryou
    But there's no problem if
    the partner accepts it,
SIGN    If it'll make you happy...
[03:33] ---
    so it's not an illness.
[03:34] Asuna
    That's the Chinese outfit he meant?!
[03:35] Ryou
    And some men with underwear
    fetishes steal them
[03:37] ---
    instead of buying them.
[03:39] Ryou
    That is a problem, of course.
[03:40] Asuna
    Ah...
[03:41] Ryou
    But now, underwear can be bought online,
[03:44] ---
    so it seems there are fewer problems.
[03:46] Shitaki
    It can't beat the charm of the real thing.
[03:48] Shitaki
    Our internet-centric
    society seems convenient,
[03:50] ---
    but it's lost something important.
[03:51] Ryou
    That sounds cool out of context,
    but it's really terrible!
[03:53] Ryou
    You've lost a lot of important things!
[03:55] Himeru
    What treatment methods are there?
SIGN    Today's Theme:
    "Fetishism"
[03:57] Ryou
    According to this book by
    the psychiatrist, Kaplan...
SIGN    Allow the patient to feel excited by the object until he tires of it.
SIGN    Pant Pant Pant
[04:05] Asuna
    When is he going to get tired of it?
[04:07] Ryou
    Before he dies, I'm sure...
[04:08] Ryou
    Kaplan also wrote more on
    the subject of treatment.
SIGN    Treatment will only help to a certain extent.
[04:12] Asuna
    So it can never be completely healed, then.
[04:14] Ryou
    Yes. I guess Dr. Kaplan gave up.
[04:17] Ryou
    Regardless, why not just avoid stealing,
[04:19] Ryou
    and find ways to use your fetish
    to maximize sexual stimulation?
[04:25] Asuna
    Thank you for that safe summation.
[04:27] Ryou
    By the way,
[04:28] Ryou
    Iyashi-san, is there anything
    about men that turns you on?
[04:31] Iyashi
    Huh?
[04:33] Iyashi
    Money.
[04:35] Ryou
    That's not... what I meant...
SIGN    If you're too fixated on one
    thing, visit the mental clinic!
SIGN    This program is a work of fiction. There is no guarantee that the treatments mentioned herein
    will work. Before having a medical exam, make sure the doctor deals in these treatments first.
[04:40] ---