11 - Unicorn

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Nar
    That day,
[00:02] ---
    Mai and Mi were on a bus tour,
    accompanying the
[00:05] ---
    popular voice actress they
    respected, Megumin.
[00:07] Nar
    However, the day of, a scandal
    involving Megumin was published,
SIGN    Hellish Love! Popular Voice Actress Megumin
    
    Was NOT a Virgin! (Possibly?)
[00:11] Nar
    and the fans that came were
    disconsolate, sad,
[00:14] ---
    and vomited repeatedly.
    Some even bit off their tongues.
[00:19] Megu
    Thank you all for coming.
    Let's all have fun today!
[00:23] fanA
    Megumin, that photo—
[00:24] megu
    All right, I'm going to go eat now.
[00:29] Mi
    We don't even get to eat together?
[00:33] fanC
    No!
[00:34] mi
    Guess it can't be helped.
[00:35] Mi
    What was meant to be a fun trip
    became a mass execution.
[00:40] Mi
    Even I'm...
[00:41] Mai
    What's wrong, Mi-chan?
[00:42] ---
    Tears of joy?
[00:43] Mi
    "What's wrong"?!
[00:45] Mi
    Who wouldn't cry on a tour that
    supports not being a virgin—
[00:49] Mi
    Mai! That's...
[00:50] Mai
    I know.
[00:51] Mi
    Huh?
[00:53] Mai
    I know all about Megumin
    not being a virgin.
[00:57] Mi
    Huh?
[00:57] Mi
    Then, Mai... You can smile so
    much, even knowing that?
[01:00] Mai
    Mi-chan, if you're a real fan,
    there's nothing happier than this!
[01:04] Mi
    Mai!
[01:06] Mi
    You're right... This is when
    we should celebrate—
[01:09] Mai
    I mean...
[01:11] Mai
    Now, we can all die together!
[01:15] Mai
    It's super happy to be able
    to go to heaven in rhythm
[01:19] ---
    with your favorite voice actress
    who's served her purpose!
[01:23] Mai
    So, Mi-chan, thanks for
    everything and stuff.
[01:27] Mi
    Huh? Wait...
[01:29] Mai
    Okay, I'm going now.
[01:31] Mi
    Huh, Mai? Where are you...
[01:41] Mi
    Mai turned into a unicorn?!
[01:45] Uni
    Step aside, human.
[01:49] Mi
    She's already lost all her
    human consciousness...
[01:52] Mi
    Step aside? Who are you?!
[01:54] Uni
    Naturally,
[01:55] Uni
    I'll pierce that woman with this horn.
[01:59] Mi
    B-But... You don't need to take her life!
[02:01] Uni
    Death is not a sad thing.
[02:05] Uni
    It is a new departure. And a salvation.
[02:08] ---
    Mai, wait!
[02:15] Uni
    Megumin. Megumin...
[02:16] Megu
    A unicorn!
[02:17] Uni
    Megumin, can I have your autograph?
[02:20] Megu
    O-Okay.
[02:21] Uni
    Yep, you aren't a virgin.
    I can tell by your writing.
SIGN    Megumin
    To Unicorn-san
[02:29] Uni
    Don't worry.
[02:31] Uni
    After you die, I'll turn you into a bacteria
    that lives for a million years—
[02:34] Mi
    Stop it, unicorn!
[02:36] Uni
    Good grief. You again?
[02:39] Uni
    You're so troublesome.
[02:41] Mi
    I won't let you... let Mai... do anything bad!
[02:44] Mi
    Tummy Punch!
[02:45] Mi
    Mi: the Final Spark!
[02:49] Mi
    Are you all right?
[02:50] Megu
    Hmph, thanks.
[02:52] Mai
    Um, Megumin...
[02:54] Mai
    I'm sorry about earlier.
[02:55] Megu
    Hey, stay away from me!
[02:57] Megu
    You're seriously gross!
[02:59] Mi
    Hey!
[03:02] Mi
    Aren't you to blame for all
    of this when you broke the rules?
[03:05] Megu
    Well, you're right. I'm sorry—
[03:08] Both
    A huge victory for virgin-worshipers!
[03:10] Mai
    I'm also sorry and stuff.
[03:11] Tori
    Good evening! This is Torijiro!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[03:13] Tori
    Ai Mai Mi Season 3 flew through
    with turbulent intensity.
SIGN    This time, we got an autograph from Megumin.
[03:16] Tori
    As the finale's bell rings,
    Nyopomi-sensei yells,
SIGN    Actually, this is something the sound effect person, Shouji-san, wrote to record the squeaky sound of the pen for the autograph.
[03:18] ---
    "Money, voice actors,
    rock and roll," in her heart.
[03:21] Tori
    What is the ambition that lies beyond the
    love, taken too far, for voice actors?
SIGN    Thanks for everything you do, Shouji-san.
[03:23] Tori
    Final episode: "I Want to be Tasoneru."
SIGN    "I Want to be Tasoneru"
[03:26] Tori
    Look forward to it!