9 - Falling into Darkness

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Mai
    Ai-chan!
[00:00] Mi
    You idiot!
[00:00] DJ
    As always, thanks Tsuchinoko Shangrila-chan.
[00:02] Ai
    He read my message again today!
[00:03] DJ
    Next, we have your e-mails.
[00:04] ---
    I wonder what the listeners thought.
SIGN    Ow . . .
    Tsuchishan is so painful
    
    Huh? That was Tsuchishan? No way
    
    Zarucheku > > > > > >
    Matsushima > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Tsuchishan
SIGN    Tsuchishan is finished
    
    Tsuchishan is completely over
    
    Tsuchishan never even began
SIGN    Why is he even reading Tsuchishan?
    
    Tsuchishan is such a fail, it's actually funny.
    
    Tsuchishan just keeps failing lately
    
    So iffy lately. Tsuchishan is lame.
[00:07] Ai
    No way...
SIGN    The only reason he's reading anything
    from Tsuchinoko Shangrila is because
    she's a high school girl
    
    Is Tsuchishan supposed to be funny?
    
    Disappear, Tsuchishan
    
    Tsuchishan, seriously disappear
[00:10] ---
    That's so mean!
SIGN    Choboraunyopomi Theater
[00:45] All
    Ai Mai Mi!
[00:47] Mi
    Oh, sorry...
[00:49] Mi
    Sorry, Ai. But you shouldn't be
    drawing manga, there—
[00:51] Mai
    Mi-chan!
[00:52] Ai
    Why are you trying to penetrate my head?
[00:54] Mi
    Wha? It's just a paper airplane.
[00:56] Ai
    Huh?
[00:56] Mi
    Ai-chan, stop... She apologized.
    Mi-chan's gonna die!
[00:58] Ai
    You're assailants! Stop acting like victims!
[01:01] Ai
    You guys are what they call "human trash."
[01:03] Ai
    Do you know what you two have
    done to me over the years?
[01:07] Ai
    You really think that apology is enough?
[01:09] Mai
    Nope, we probably couldn't complain
[01:11] ---
    if you hit us and got a monetary settlement.
[01:13] Mi
    Mai...
[01:13] Mi
    Could you not back down there?
[01:15] Mai
    Mi-chan!
[01:16] Ai
    Next time you do that, you'll be sorry.
[01:19] Mai
    Ai-chan seems like a completely
    different person today.
[01:21] Mi
    What the heck happened?
[01:22] Ponoka
    She is the other Ai.
[01:24] Both
    That voice!
[01:24] Both
    It's the Tokyo Eel Protection Committee!
[01:26] Ponoka
    I'm Ponoka.
[01:27] Ponoka
    That is a separate personality,
    born of grief and rage.
[01:30] Ai
    I will purge them all.
[01:31] Pono
    It is "Dark Side Ai."
[01:32] Both
    Dark Side Ai?
[01:33] Mi
    You can't be serious.
[01:34] Pono
    She's acting on her strong
    hatred for humanity.
[01:37] Mai
    Is the real Ai-chan safe?
[01:39] Pono
    The usual one should be home.
[01:41] Mi
    Then, let's do to her what she did to us.
[01:43] Mai
    Wow, you aren't going to save her...
[01:45] Ai
    Hey, Ai!
[01:46] Mai
    Ai-chan!
[01:47] Kana
    O-Onee-chan?
[01:51] Kana
    Onee-chan?
[01:52] Mai
    Th-This is Ai-chan?
[01:53] Kana
    O-O-Onee-chan?
[01:54] Mi
    That's the face of one whose intelligence
    fell to that of an anteater!
[01:57] Pono
    Apparently, she's only an empty shell now.
[02:00] Pono
    To return her to normal, we will
    have to defeat Dark Side Ai.
[02:04] Ai
    Damn humans... I'll exterminate you all.
[02:06] Mi
    Hold it, Dark Side!
[02:07] Mi
    We'll defeat you and get
    the normal Ai back.
[02:09] Ai
    You're going to fight me?
    You foolish children.
[02:12] Mi
    Yeah, we might be fools, but you know...
[02:15] Mi
    We aren't so cold-hearted that we'd
    ignore a friend who's about to go astray!
[02:18] Mai
    Mi-chan!
[02:20] Mi
    Wait... The fight's already over...
[02:22] Kana
    Onee-chan?
[02:23] Kana
    Remember!
[02:24] Mi
    Kanako-chan...
[02:25] Kana
    That person... Actually, both of them...
[02:27] Kana
    are your precious neighbors.
[02:30] Both
    Huh?
[02:30] Kana
    Their houses are close. Super close!
[02:32] Mi
    That's what she thought of us?
[02:34] Kana
    Onee-chan, get a hold of yourself!
[02:35] Mai
    Ai-chan!
[02:35] Mi
    Ai!
[02:35] Kana
    Onee-chan!
[02:40] Ai
    Curse you, humans.
[02:42] Ai
    But as long as the light exists,
    the darkness will, as well.
[02:45] Ai
    Don't forget that.
[02:52] Kana
    O-Onee-chan...
[02:53] Mai
    Ai-chan!
[02:53] Mi
    Ai!
[02:54] ---
    Huh?
[02:56] Ai
    Wha... What's with you guys?
[02:59] Ai
    Hey...
[03:00] Ai
    Seriously, what's with you guys?
[03:00] Kana
    Onee-chan!
SIGN    Sachie and Kanako
[03:04] Sign
    Narration: Hirano Fumi
[03:04] Both
    Sachie and Kanako!
[03:05] Sachi
    I-It isn't what you think, Kana-chan!
[03:06] Nar
    The hijiki overflowing the recorder
    was enough to destroy their relationship.
[03:07] Kana
    Please stop...
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[03:11] Tori
    Good Evening! This is Torijiro!
[03:13] Tori
    Nyopomi-sensei picked up three dogs in
    the rain, deciding to take them in.
SIGN    Do you know what "naruto" is, everyone?
SIGN    By the way...
SIGN    The naruto in ramen, with the swirly, spiral design.
[03:16] Tori
    But their endless appetite almost
    drove her to a nervous breakdown.
SIGN    Look, it's the thing on Chobo-sensei's chest.
SIGN    See? This thing!
SIGN    This is a naruto, too!!
[03:20] Tori
    Will the dogs be able to relinquish their
    appetites, to transform into wonderful ladies?
SIGN    This is a "naruto mark"!!
[03:24] Tori
    Next time, "Friends Who Can't Stop Eating!"
SIGN    "Friends Who Can't Stop Eating!"
[03:26] Tori
    Look forward to it!