3 - Security in Senior Citizenship! Aho Girl!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Part 9
[01:05] Sayaka
    Pleased to meet you.
[01:07] Yoshie
    Yoshiko! Who's this person who
    looks like a normal nice girl?!
[01:12] Yoshiko
    My friend Sayaka!
[01:15] Yoshie
    If you hang around with girls who are cuter
    than you, they're gonna steal A-kun!
[01:19] Yoshiko
    I'm cuter than her.
[01:21] Yoshie
    No, no, no, no!
[01:22] Yoshiko
    No, no, no, no!
[01:24] Yoshie
    No, no, no, no!
[01:25] Yoshiko
    No, no, no, no!
[01:26] Yoshiko
    And this is my favorite banana stand!
[01:29] Yoshie
    Not good.
[01:30] Yoshie
    If A-kun and Yoshiko don't get hitched,
    my retirement plan is ruined.
[01:34] Yoshie
    Keep your distance!
[01:36] Yoshie
    It's always the quiet ones acting mature
    that end up the most cutthroat gold-diggers!
[01:40] Akuru
    I'm not sure that's true...
[01:42] Yoshie
    I know because I was one!
[01:45] Akuru
    Lady, what are you on about?
[01:48] Sayaka
    U-Um, I'm just a friend of A-kun-san's.
[01:53] Sayaka
    And I don't think I'm
    ready for relationships.
[01:59] Yoshie
    Sluttiest line in the book.
[02:01] Akuru
    Seriously, what?
[02:03] Yoshie
    Prove that you're telling the truth.
[02:07] Yoshie
    Show me your panties!
[02:09] Sayaka
    Eek!
[02:10] Sayaka
    Wh-What are you doing?
[02:11] Yoshie
    You can tell a girl's true
    colors from her panties!
[02:15] Yoshie
    If you're not wearing plain kiddy panties,
[02:18] Yoshie
    then you've got it in your head
    that a man's gonna see them.
[02:22] Yoshie
    And that would prove that you want a man.
[02:26] Yoshie
    Which would mean you've got no reason not
    to dig for A-kun and his future potential!
[02:31] Sayaka
    What?
[02:31] Yoshiko
    What you say?!
[02:33] Yoshie
    Now, show me your panties!
[02:35] Yoshiko
    Sayaka-chan! Show me!
[02:37] Sayaka
    W-Wait...
[02:39] Yoshie
    Now!
[02:39] Sayaka
    A-kun-san's right there!
[02:40] Yoshiko
    Yeah!
[02:42] Yoshiko
    Why'd you block me?!
[02:43] Sayaka
    Because that's normal!
[02:46] Yoshie
    And one!
[02:47] Yoshie
    And two!
[02:49] Sayaka
    Wh-What are these?!
[02:51] Yoshie
    This move was how I took my husband's
    first time. There's no escape!
[02:56] Akuru
    Seriously, TMI.
[02:58] Yoshie
    Now, Yoshiko! Now's your chance!
[03:00] Sayaka
    P-Please no!
[03:02] Yoshiko
    Sayaka-chan... I want to believe in you.
[03:05] Yoshiko
    So please...
[03:07] Yoshiko
    Show me your panties!
[03:09] Akuru
    Will you cut it out?!
[03:12] Yoshie
    Stay out of this, A-kun!
[03:14] Yoshiko
    This is really important!
[03:17] Akuru
    Don't make me have to make you stop.
[03:19] Sayaka
    V-Violence is bad!
[03:22] Sayaka
    I'll show you my panties!
[03:27] Sayaka
    I-I'm ready.
[03:29] Yoshie
    You mean you're wearing panties
    that you can show us?!
[03:33] Yoshie
    I-Impossible! A girl that pure
    couldn't possibly exist!
[03:37] Sayaka
    Please!
[03:39] Both
    Th-These panties!
[03:48] Yoshie
    A-kun.
[03:49] Akuru
    Huh?
[03:50] Yoshie
    You can be friends with that girl.
[03:52] Akuru
    O-Okay...
[03:54] Yoshiko
    A-kun, A-kun.
[03:55] Akuru
    Huh?
[03:56] Yoshiko
    So, like, the cats were really—
[03:58] ---
    Yoshiko-chan!
SIGN    My condolences...
SIGN    Koizumi Park
[04:03] Yoshiko
    Hey, you guys!
SIGN    Part 10
[04:05] Yoshiko
    Come out to play!
[04:07] Mamoru
    Oh, it's Yoshiko.
[04:09] Mamoru
    Yoshiko, you need to study.
[04:11] Masaru
    You won't get a job.
[04:13] Yoshiko
    Oh?
[04:14] Nozomi
    Our parents said that it's really
    hard unless you work really hard.
[04:18] Yoshiko
    I see...
[04:20] Yoshiko
    Then let's play!
[04:22] Boys
    In one ear and out the other!
[04:23] Yoshiko
    What should we play?
[04:25] Yoshiko
    Tag?
[04:26] Masaru
    W-Well...
[04:28] Yoshiko
    Wh-What was that sound?!
[04:31] Mamoru
    That was a dog barking!
[04:36] Yoshiko
    I-It's huge!
[04:37] Yoshiko
    Is that a bear?!
[04:38] Mamoru
    It's a dog!
[04:40] Mamoru
    It's after us!
[04:44] Yoshiko
    Calm down, you guys!
[04:45] Yoshiko
    You can ride a dog this big!
[04:47] Mamoru
    We're running for dear life, here!
[04:49] Kids
    Someone, save us!
[04:54] Yoshiko
    Caught you!
[04:55] Boys
    Yoshiko!
[04:57] Boys
    Yoshiko!
[04:59] Nozomi
    Yoshiko-oneechan!
[05:01] Yoshiko
    Ahahaha! His mouth stinks!
    It stinks so bad! Ahahaha!
[05:05] Boys
    It's biting your head off!
[05:07] Yoshiko
    Oh, right! I was gonna ride him!
[05:09] Yoshiko
    Like this!
[05:11] Yoshiko
    And this!
[05:13] Yoshiko
    Voilà!
[05:18] Yoshiko
    You're good! But I'm not finished yet!
[05:21] Boys
    It's still after us!
[05:25] Mamoru
    Just give up on riding him!
[05:26] Yoshiko
    Listen to yourself!
[05:28] Yoshiko
    You'll end up another grown-up
    resigned to defeat!
[05:31] Yoshiko
    Hold fast...to your dreams!
[05:33] Masaru
    I'll give you candy!
[05:35] Yoshiko
    Candy?!
[05:36] Yoshiko
    Okay, I give up!
[05:37] Masaru
    That was fast!
[05:40] Boys
    She stopped him?!
[05:41] Yoshiko
    Stop scaring the poor children!
[05:44] Yoshiko
    I won't allow it!
[05:47] Masaru
    Holy crap!
[05:48] Mamoru
    You can see her panties!
[05:50] Yoshiko
    What...do I do now?
[05:53] Boys
    Huh?
[05:55] Boys
    The scene's ruined!
[06:00] Yoshiko
    He's being obedient now!
SIGN    Someone please take care of me.
[06:02] Mamoru
    Look, he's a stray dog.
[06:04] Masaru
    He's huge and kinda vicious.
[06:08] Yoshiko
    Would you like to come home with me?
[06:10] Boys
    Yoshiko!
[06:11] Yoshiko
    If you do...
[06:12] Yoshiko
    If you do...
[06:14] Yoshiko
    ...let me ride you.
[06:16] Masaru
    You still wanna ride him?!
[06:18] Mamoru
    You sure? He's absolutely ginormous!
[06:20] Yoshiko
    It's fine, it's fine!
[06:22] Yoshiko
    All right! Giddyup!
[06:25] Yoshiko
    Woo-hoo! Whee!
[06:28] Boys
    Sh-She's a free spirit.
[06:30] Nozomi
    Yoshiko-onee-chan's kinda amazing.
SIGN    Part 11
SIGN    Can we keep him?!
SIGN    Fruits
SIGN    Vegetables
SIGN    Bananas
[06:38] Yoshiko
    What on Earth?!
[06:41] Sayaka
    Wh-What is it, Yoshiko-chan?
[06:44] Yoshiko
    The bananas I just bought
    are domestically grown!
[06:47] Yoshiko
    In this world where foreign imports
    are the norm, a domestic challenger!
[06:51] Yoshiko
    This "Satou-san" from Wuttever
    Village has got balls!
[06:59] Yoshiko
    Satou-san, you can take on the world.
[07:05] Sayaka
    I-Isn't that lovely?
[07:07] Yoshiko
    Yeah! So I need to deliver
    my feelings to him directly!
[07:11] Sayaka
    Huh?
[07:12] Yoshiko
    I'm coming for you, Satou-san!
[07:13] Sayaka
    W-Wait!
[07:16] Yoshiko
    Sayaka-chan, where's Wuttever Village?
SIGN    Train 3h 5m
[07:21] Sayaka
    Um...about three hours by train.
[07:24] Sayaka
    W-We just passed the station?
[07:27] Sayaka
    Wait, are we running all the way there?!
[07:29] Yoshiko
    Let's do it!
[07:30] Sayaka
    We'll die!
[07:30] Yoshiko
    We can do it! Do it!
[07:32] Sayaka
    No, we can't!
[07:33] Sayaka
    It's over 100 kilometers away!
[07:35] Yoshiko
    Never know til you try!
[07:37] Sayaka
    Can we at least do it by bicycle?!
SIGN    Middleuv Nohware Station
SIGN    Three Hours Later
[07:43] Sayaka
    P-Please...
[07:46] Sayaka
    Buy drinks...with this...
[07:48] ---
    Okay!
[07:52] Yoshiko
    What should I get?
[07:54] Yoshiko
    Oh?
SIGN    Town Mascot Un'nyoro
[08:00] Yoshiko
    We're out of money.
[08:02] Sayaka
    What?! Yoshiko-chan?!
[08:05] Yoshiko
    Oh, I've got 1,000 yen!
[08:08] Sayaka
    Thank goodness.
[08:12] Yoshiko
    Oh?
SIGN    Our town mascot, Un'nyoro, had kids!!
SIGN    Town Mascot Un'nyoro's Kids
[08:18] Yoshiko
    He has a kid!
[08:20] Yoshiko
    But look! Aren't they adorable?
[08:23] Sayaka
    They're not not adorable,
    but that's not the point!
[08:27] Sayaka
    The point is...
[08:28] Sayaka
    The point is...
[08:30] Sayaka
    Fine, I'll just run there!
[08:36] Narrator
    Sayaka ran,
[08:38] Narrator
    carried by her frustration.
[08:41] Narrator
    And she kept running...
[08:44] Narrator
    ...because it was easier than trying
    to make Yoshiko understand.
[08:48] Narrator
    Until...
[08:56] Girls
    Satou-san!
[09:00] Yoshiko
    Your bananas have moved me to tears!
[09:03] Yoshiko
    I came here just to say that!
[09:06] Satou
    Y-You beat yourselves up
    this bad just for that?
[09:09] Yoshiko
    Yeah! They were super yummy!
[09:12] Satou
    Thank you so much, girls.
[09:15] Yoshiko
    No, thank you, Satou-san!
    For giving me a dream!
[09:21] Yoshiko
    All right, now let's go home.
[09:26] Yoshiko
    We're sprinting the whole way back!
[09:28] Sayaka
    Satou-san!
[09:31] Sayaka
    I humbly beg of you to lend
    us the train fare home.
[09:36] Narrator
    For the first time in her life,
[09:39] Narrator
    she begged on all fours.
SIGN    Part 12
[09:50] Yoshiko
    You're just shy of hundreds on everything.
[09:52] Yoshiko
    Guess that makes you a clumsy
    bumsy who can't finish the job!
[09:59] Akuru
    I'm going home.
[10:01] Sayaka
    I wonder if he's frustrated
    about those tests.
[10:04] Yoshiko
    All right! Let's cheer A-kun up!
[10:06] Yoshiko
    With that thing that my mom does to my
    dad at night to make him feel better!
[10:12] Akuru
    Huh?
[10:16] Akuru
    What the hell do you think you're doing?!
[10:20] Yoshiko
    From this moment on, you're my baby!
[10:22] Yoshiko
    Mommy's gonna spoil you all
    night until you feel better!
[10:26] Yoshiko
    Okay?
[10:29] Yoshiko
    Looksies here, A-kun! It's Mommy! Peeka-boo!
[10:32] Akuru
    Shut up, you idiot!
[10:34] Akuru
    Get these cuffs off me! Where's the key?!
[10:36] Yoshiko
    Oh, my, are you hungry?
[10:39] Akuru
    Hell no!
[10:40] Yoshiko
    It's okay! Babies need their milksies!
[10:44] Yoshiko
    C'mere and get some love!
[10:47] Yoshiko
    Here! Come on!
[10:48] Akuru
    Stuff it! Go away!
[10:49] Yoshiko
    Being spoiled is a baby's job—
[10:52] Akuru
    I'm a troubled teen!
[10:56] Yoshiko
    Just kidding!
[10:57] Yoshiko
    You didn't hit me as hard
    as you usually doesies!
[10:59] Akuru
    Wha—
[11:00] Yoshiko
    Come now, latch on to mommy as
    long and hard as you want, baby!
[11:04] Yoshiko
    Say aah!
[11:05] Yoshiko
    Stop moving so muchsies, that tickles!
[11:09] Yoshiko
    Come on, come on, come on, come on!
[11:12] Akuru
    Just kill me now.
[11:13] Yoshiko
    I want this image of maternal love
    to be remembered for eternity!
[11:19] Yoshiko
    Yay!
[11:21] Akuru
    N-No, don't!
SIGN    Sending
[11:22] Yoshiko
    Sending it to Sayaka-chan!
SIGN    Message sent!
[11:25] Yoshiko
    Phew.
[11:26] Yoshiko
    So, baby, are you feeling better?
[11:29] Akuru
    Ahahaha. Aha. Uh-huh. Thanks
    to you, I'm back on my feet.
[11:35] Yoshiko
    Really?!
[11:36] Akuru
    Because I'm going to kill you!
[11:42] Akuru
    Eat this!
[11:52] Yoshiko
    You're back in the groove. I'm glad.
[11:57] Akuru
    You idiot. I-I don't care.
[12:00] Yoshiko
    The key for the handcuffs...
[12:02] Yoshiko
    ...is inside my skirt...
[12:10] Ruri
    Onii-chan, can you help
    me with my homework—
[12:15] Akuru
    N-No, it's not—
[12:16] Ruri
    Onii-chan, you pervert!
[12:19] Akuru
    It's not what it looks like!
SIGN    My condolences...
SIGN    Charge! Aho Girl
[12:25] Yoshiko
    Next time: Charge! Aho Girl!