10 - Drive! Aho Girl!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Part 36
[01:03] Emura
    Okay.
[01:04] Emura
    I'm doing it.
[01:05] Emura
    I'm piercing my ears.
[01:08] Emura
    Today's the day I actually do it.
[01:10] Emura
    I'm doing it right now!
[01:13] Girls
    So do it.
[01:15] Yoshiko
    What'cha doing?
[01:16] Yoshiko
    Do I squeeze this?
[01:17] Emura
    I'll kill you!
[01:18] Emura
    You nearly put a hole in my ear!
[01:20] Yoshiko
    Whoa, a needle!
[01:22] Yoshiko
    What were you going to do
    to your ear with that?
[01:24] Emura
    Huh?
[01:25] Emura
    Well, uh...
[01:27] Emura
    I was going to... put a hole in it.
[01:29] Yoshiko
    Now you've lost me!
[01:31] Yoshiko
    If you pierce your ear with a needle,
    blood will fly everywhere.
[01:36] Yoshiko
    Then bacteria will enter
    the wound and infect it...
[01:41] Yoshiko
    Then you suffer...
[01:43] Yoshiko
    and die.
[01:44] Emura
    Stop!
[01:45] Emura
    I-I won't die...
[01:47] Emura
    I won't...
[01:50] Emura
    I won't die, right?
[01:51] Shiina
    You'll be fine.
[01:53] Emura
    I won't bleed, right?
[01:54] Shiina
    Well, yes, you'll bleed.
[01:56] Emura
    Damn it!
[01:58] Emura
    All I wanted was to wear cute earrings...
[02:01] Yoshiko
    Don't be crazy!
[02:03] Yoshiko
    Why would you go so far?!
[02:05] Yoshiko
    You want a man?!
[02:07] Emura
    So what if I do?!
[02:09] Emura
    I wanted to dress nicer,
[02:10] Emura
    look prettier...
[02:12] Emura
    I want a boyfriend, damn it.
[02:14] Yoshiko
    So that's why?
[02:17] Emura
    I mean, guys ask Hiiragi out sometimes,
[02:20] Emura
    and Shiina can't stop flirting
    with her boyfriend.
[02:23] Emura
    But I've got nothing!
[02:25] Emura
    If I can't pierce my ears,
[02:27] Emura
    there's no hope for me!
[02:29] Emura
    So don't stop me.
[02:33] Yoshiko
    I understand completely.
[02:34] Yoshiko
    But if you do it with such unsteady
    hands, you'll mess up for sure.
[02:38] Emura
    Just shut up!
[02:40] Yoshiko
    So...
[02:41] Yoshiko
    I'll hold your hand for you.
[02:46] Emura
    You...
[02:47] Yoshiko
    Now do it!
[02:49] Yoshiko
    I'll hold your hand with all my might!
[02:51] Emura
    Yeah! I'm doing it!
[02:52] Yoshiko
    Do it! Ram a hole through that ear!
[02:55] Emura
    First, I have to calm my mind...
[02:57] Yoshiko
    Ram a hole through the
    door to your new future!
[03:00] Emura
    Wait, stop!
[03:01] Emura
    Don't push!
[03:02] Yoshiko
    Go!
[03:04] Emura
    Let go! I'm not ready for this!
[03:10] Yoshiko
    There, there.
[03:13] Yoshiko
    You did it.
[03:19] Shiina
    B-But it didn't hurt that much, right?
[03:23] Emura
    Well, no...
[03:24] Emura
    It didn't really.
[03:26] Hiiragi
    So just do the other ear.
[03:28] Emura
    Huh?!
[03:29] Emura
    Um...
[03:32] Emura
    Maybe some other time.
[03:34] Shiina
    O-Okay.
SIGN    Seeking Boyfriend
SIGN    Part 37
[03:42] Yoshiko
    All right!
SIGN    Hanabatake
[03:42] Yoshiko
    Let's go for a walk!
[03:49] Yoshiko
    You're full of energy today!
[03:51] Yoshiko
    Wanna go for a longer walk?
SIGN    Brooooom
SIGN    Vrooooom
SIGN    Dadadadooooom
SIGN    Vrooooom
[04:04] Motorist
    Hah!
[04:05] Motorist
    Is there no one left who can light a fire
    in the heart of the Hawk of Koudan Pass?
SIGN    Woof
[04:10] Yoshiko
    Woohoo!
SIGN    Thump
[04:11] Motorist
    What?!
[04:12] Motorist
    What's that?!
SIGN    Vroooooom
SIGN    Vroom
[04:14] Yoshiko
    Huh?
SIGN    Swish
SIGN    Swish
SIGN    Dadadadoom
[04:18] Motorist
    A-A dog and some kid challenging
    me to a race on the highway?
SIGN    Grip
SIGN    Vroom
[04:23] Motorist
    You're going down!
[04:23] Yoshiko
    Whee! Yay!
SIGN    Screeeeech
[04:26] Sign
    Wha—
SIGN    Brooom
SIGN    Vrooooooooom
[04:27] Yoshiko
    Easy!
[04:27] Motorist
    What?!
[04:29] Motorist
    That cornering is crazy!
[04:31] Motorist
    Is she some idiot with a death wish?!
SIGN    Vroooooooooom
[04:33] Motorist
    Or does she trust her machine that much?!
[04:36] Yoshiko
    Woohoo!
[04:38] Motorist
    But...
[04:39] Motorist
    This straight will show
    whose machine is superior!
SIGN    Vrooooom
[04:43] Motorist
    Here it comes!
SIGN    Brooooom
[04:45] Motorist
    Wha—
[04:46] Motorist
    What?!
SIGN    Fwooooosh
[04:48] Motorist
    She's minimizing drag by
    leaning all the way back?!
SIGN    Vroooooooooom
[04:53] Motorist
    It's a dog! A dog!
[04:54] Motorist
    How could I lose to an animal?!
SIGN    Vrooom
[04:56] Motorist
    How could I lose?!
SIGN    See ya
SIGN    Bastards!
[05:00] Motorist
    Bastards!
SIGN    Vroom
[05:08] Yoshiko
    Nothing beats a post-exercise banana!
[05:14] SexyVoice
    Aho Girl.
SIGN    Part 38
[05:16] Mamoru
    All right! I'm coming to save you now!
[05:19] Yoshiko
    Hey, guys! Let's play!
[05:22] Boys
    Oh.
[05:22] Mamoru
    It's Yoshiko.
[05:23] Yoshiko
    Hey, is that a Micca-chan?!
    I haven't seen one in forever!
[05:27] Nozomi
    Yoshiko-oneechan, can you be Michael?
[05:29] Yoshiko
    Huh?
[05:30] Yoshiko
    I wanna be Micca-chan!
[05:32] Masaru
    Are you a kid?!
[05:33] Nozomi
    Okay.
[05:33] Mamoru
    She's the grown-up!
[05:36] Yoshiko
    Hi, Michael.
[05:37] Nozomi
    Micca-chan, you sure look cute today.
[05:40] Yoshiko
    What? Why are you trying to
    seduce me? What do you want?
[05:45] Yoshiko
    Money?
[05:46] Yoshiko
    My body?!
[05:48] Yoshiko
    Whatever. I don't care what you want.
[05:51] Yoshiko
    All I really want right now is to be loved.
[05:55] Masaru
    What the heck happened to her?
[05:57] Nozomi
    I really do love you.
[05:59] Yoshiko
    Liar!
[06:00] Yoshiko
    You know what kind of woman I am, don't you?
[06:03] Masaru
    No one does!
[06:04] Nozomi
    I don't know what you mean, but that's okay!
[06:07] Mamoru
    Man, Michael, do you even care?!
[06:09] Yoshiko
    Michael...
[06:10] Boys
    You're way too easy, Micca-chan!
[06:12] Yoshiko
    I can finally be happy...
[06:14] Nozomi
    Micca-chan!
[06:17] Mamoru
    Let's play over there.
[06:18] Masaru
    Yeah.
[06:23] Yoshiko
    Michael!
[06:25] Masaru
    Sorry!
[06:26] Yoshiko
    Michael! Speak to me!
[06:29] Yoshiko
    His pulse... has stopped...
[06:33] Yoshiko
    I will... have...
[06:36] Yoshiko
    revenge!
[06:39] Yoshiko
    I will personally draw and quarter
    every single one of you!
[06:44] Masaru
    Micca-chan, you're scaring me!
[06:45] Yoshiko
    Go to Hell!
[06:48] Yoshiko
    Killer move: Micca-chan Murdering Kick!
[06:51] Masaru
    T-Time out!
[06:57] Yoshiko
    No!
[06:58] Masaru
    Don't strip her!
[06:59] Yoshiko
    You bad man!
[07:00] Yoshiko
    Why would you beat me until
    my clothes fell off?!
[07:04] Masaru
    No, you took her clothes off!
[07:06] Yoshiko
    Fine! You can have your way with me!
[07:08] Masaru
    What does that mean?!
[07:09] Yoshiko
    You can have your way with my body,
[07:13] Yoshiko
    but my heart...
[07:15] Yoshiko
    will always belong to Michael!
[07:16] Masaru
    What the heck are you talking about?!
[07:18] Yoshiko
    I'm sorry, Michael...
[07:21] Masaru
    Let's just leave.
[07:23] Mamoru
    Yeah.
[07:23] Yoshiko
    What?! You're not even interested in my body?!
[07:27] Masaru
    You're way too needy, Micca-chan!
[07:29] Yoshiko
    It's all over!
[07:31] Yoshiko
    My life is over!
[07:33] Yoshiko
    I'm worthless as a woman!
[07:35] Nozomi
    That's not true.
[07:37] Yoshiko
    That voice...
[07:40] Yoshiko
    M-Michael!
[07:43] Nozomi
    Let's live together.
[07:45] Yoshiko
    N-No... But how?
[07:47] Yoshiko
    I thought you were dead!
[07:49] Nozomi
    Um...
[07:51] Nozomi
    I came back to life!
[07:53] Yoshiko
    Michael!
[07:56] Boys
    No thought at all.
SIGN    Aho Girl
SIGN    Micca-chan
SIGN    Test
SIGN    Part 39
SIGN    Beware of Perverts
[08:12] President
    If I want to get closer to Akutsu-kun,
    I need to get closer to his family.
[08:18] Ruri
    I love you, Onee-chan!
[08:20] Ruri
    Marry my brother so you
    can be my real sister!
[08:23] President
    What? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
[08:27] President
    Right?
[08:27] Akuru
    When should we hold the ceremony?
[08:31] President
    Right now!
[08:33] President
    O-Okay! She's sad about getting a
    zero on her test. Cheer her up!
[08:37] Yoshie
    Don't move.
[08:38] President
    Huh?!
[08:39] Yoshie
    What do you think you're doing?
[08:41] President
    Aren't you Hanabatake-san's mother?!
[08:44] President
    Wait, she somehow unhooked
    my bra with that one touch!
[08:47] President
    Just what is this old hag?!
[08:49] Yoshie
    Hah.
[08:50] Yoshie
    If you're trying to get in with the girl,
    I'll have you know it's futile.
[08:55] President
    Wh-What do you mean?
[08:58] Ruri
    Oh, Auntie.
[09:00] Yoshie
    My, Ruri-chan.
[09:01] Yoshie
    You look a little down.
[09:02] Ruri
    I got another zero.
[09:04] Yoshie
    Like I always say, you'll get it eventually.
[09:09] Ruri
    Thanks, Auntie. You're always so nice.
[09:13] Yoshie
    Aww!
[09:13] President
    This lady...
[09:14] President
    She's been in with the girl for ages!
[09:17] President
    No! This lady is a bad lady!
[09:20] Ruri
    Huh? Who are you?
[09:23] Yoshie
    This is A-kun's stalker!
[09:25] President
    Wha— N-No!
[09:27] Ruri
    Onii-chan's too weird to have a stalker...
[09:30] President
    Akutsu-kun, weird?!
[09:32] President
    But he's so cold-hearted and sadistic!
[09:34] Ruri
    This lady is a crazy lady!
[09:35] President
    No, I'm not! She's the real crazy lady!
[09:42] Yoshie
    Do you think Ruri-chan would believe the
    words of a panty-less exhibitionist?
[09:47] President
    My panties?!
[09:49] President
    I see... Unhooking my bra was just a diversion.
[09:53] President
    She wanted me focused on my upper body
    so my lower body would be defenseless,
[09:58] President
    then she took my panties!
[10:01] Yoshie
    This girl is a stalker and an exhibitionist
    and isn't wearing panties.
[10:06] President
    What? You just ripped my
    panties off in an instant!
[10:09] Yoshie
    How on earth would I do that?
[10:11] President
    You freaking hag!
[10:13] Yoshie
    Stay away from her, you pervert!
[10:15] President
    Give me back my panties,
    you damn old hag!
[10:19] Yoshie
    You pervert!
[10:32] Ruri
    What are these two?
[10:34] President
    My panties!
[10:36] Yoshie
    Useless! Useless!
[10:38] President
    Or so it seemed!
[10:39] President
    I'm taking yours instead!
[10:44] Yoshie
    Too obvious, little girl!
[10:48] Yoshie
    Now look closely, Ruri-chan!
[10:50] Yoshie
    I'll prove that she's an exhibitionist
    who doesn't wear panties!
[10:53] President
    No!
[10:55] President
    S-Stop!
[10:56] Yoshie
    You're finished now!
[10:58] President
    No! Please, stop!
[11:14] Ruri
    She's wearing panties.
[11:17] Yoshie
    What?! Impossible!
[11:22] Yoshie
    She's wearing them...
[11:24] Yoshie
    Why?! How?!
[11:25] Ruri
    Huh? I can feel the wind under my skirt.
[11:29] Yoshie
    What? You didn't...
[11:31] Yoshie
    You couldn't have! You bitch!
[11:35] Yoshie
    You took off Ruri's panties with your
    feet and slipped them on yourself?!
[11:43] Yoshie
    Without my noticing, in an instant.
[11:51] Yoshie
    I'd best start training again.
[11:56] President
    We'll settle this another day.
[12:01] Ruri
    Huh?
SIGN    Beware of Perverts
[12:14] Ruri
    What was that about?
[12:17] Ruri
    Huh?
[12:18] Ruri
    What?
[12:19] Ruri
    My panties disappeared?!
SIGN    Final Battle! Decisive Blow! Aho Girl
[12:25] Yoshiko
    Next time: "Final Battle! Decisive Blow! Aho Girl!"