1 - She's Here! Aho Girl!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Class 1-2
[01:01] Yoshiko
    Hey, A-kun, A-kun!
[01:04] Akira
    What, Yoshiko?
SIGN    Japanese Math English Science
[01:06] Yoshiko
    I got a 0 on all my proficiency tests!
[01:09] Akira
    You're an idiot.
[01:10] Yoshiko
    They were even bubble sheet tests!
    Isn't that amazing?!
[01:13] Akira
    You're a huge idiot.
SIGN    Part 1
[01:19] Akira
    As your friend since we were
    little, I should warn you
[01:21] Akira
    that your idiocy is too great to
    permit your survival in this world.
[01:25] Yoshiko
    What? No way!
[01:26] Yoshiko
    I'm going to die?!
[01:28] Yoshiko
    Then before I die...
[01:30] Yoshiko
    I want to eat just one more banana!
[01:33] Yoshiko
    Then I'll have no more regrets.
[01:38] Akira
    You really are an idiot.
[01:40] Akira
    You need to study, or you're
    never going to get a job.
[01:44] Yoshiko
    Huh? That means every day will
    be like Sunday!
[01:47] Yoshiko
    Hooray! Hooray!
[01:51] Akira
    You wouldn't be able to survive.
[01:53] Yoshiko
    Then I'll win the lottery!
[01:55] Akira
    Like you'd win!
[01:57] Yoshiko
    Come on, dream a little!
SIGN    Fury
[02:01] Yoshiko
    Or I could become a housewife.
[02:03] Akira
    No one would marry you.
SIGN    Fury
[02:10] Akira
    Who the hell would marry an idiot like you?
[02:13] Yoshiko
    No way! Do you have a girlfriend, A-kun?
[02:16] Akira
    N-No... So what if I don't?
[02:19] Yoshiko
    I knew it. You don't seem to
    understand girls, anyway—
[02:31] Yoshiko
    You're so cold, A-kun.
[02:34] Yoshiko
    Even when...
[02:36] Yoshiko
    I love you so much!
[02:39] Akira
    Oh, I see.
[02:40] Yoshiko
    So careless!
[02:41] Yoshiko
    It's true!
[02:42] Yoshiko
    You come wake me up every morning,
[02:45] Yoshiko
    you tell me when I forget things...
[02:47] Yoshiko
    And...
[02:48] Yoshiko
    When I'm hungry, you give me bananas!
[02:52] Yoshiko
    You give me bananas!
[03:01] Yoshiko
    You're so sweet, A-kun!
[03:03] Akira
    Right.
SIGN    How to Train Your Pet
[03:04] Yoshiko
    You even ended up in the same high school
    as me because you were worried about me.
[03:08] Yoshiko
    You're too sweet.
[03:10] Akira
    No, you idiot.
[03:11] Akira
    It's only because I considered
    the required study time
[03:14] Akira
    and commute time. The good
    high schools were too far away.
[03:16] Akira
    Got it?
[03:17] Yoshiko
    Yup! So basically...
[03:19] Yoshiko
    You're a tsundere!
[03:21] Akira
    She's got no clue.
[03:24] Yoshiko
    But whatever the reason
    might be, it makes me happy.
[03:28] Yoshiko
    Thanks for always staying by my side,
    even though I cause you so much trouble.
[03:35] Yoshiko
    As thanks, I'll let you see my panties!
[03:38] Yoshiko
    Panties!
[03:40] Yoshiko
    Oh, you're so shy!
[03:42] Akira
    That's not it!
[03:43] Akira
    I don't want to see your filthy panties!
[03:46] Yoshiko
    What?!
[03:46] Yoshiko
    Even I wouldn't have
    skid marks on my panties!
[03:51] Yoshiko
    There's no poop on them!
[03:53] Akira
    Shut up!
[03:55] Yoshiko
    Oh!
[03:56] Yoshiko
    Apparently, the banana shop
    in front of the station
[03:58] Yoshiko
    is getting in some super
    top-quality bananas today!
[04:00] Yoshiko
    All right, A-kun! See you tomorrow!
[04:05] Akira
    How exhausting...
[04:09] Akira
    School's not over yet!
[04:21] Akira
    Hey.
[04:22] Akira
    Wake up, you idiot.
[04:28] Yoshiko
    Eek!
SIGN    Part 2
[04:33] Yoshie
    I'm sorry to make you do this every morning.
[04:34] Yoshie
    She won't wake up unless it's you, A-kun.
[04:38] Akira
    Well, we are neighbors.
[04:41] Akira
    Even though I don't really have a choice...
[04:46] Yoshiko
    Bananas so good...
[04:49] Yoshie
    I'm so sorry that she's such an idiot.
[04:52] Akira
    You have my condolences.
[04:54] Yoshie
    If you two started going out, I wouldn't
    have anything to worry about. Peek.
[04:58] Akira
    That's impossible.
[04:59] Yoshie
    B-But she's not so bad on the outside.
[05:02] Akira
    Just think about it.
[05:04] Akira
    Humans don't fall in love
    with monkeys, do they?
[05:08] Yoshie
    Then please... Please, just make
    her somewhat human!
[05:13] Akira
    True... We shouldn't have her go out
    into society the way she is right now.
[05:17] Akira
    All right. I'll figure something out.
[05:19] Yoshie
    A-kun...
[05:21] Akira
    If that fails...
[05:23] Akira
    Let's have her commit a misdemeanor,
    so they'll lock her up in a cell.
[05:27] Yoshie
    A-kun...
[05:36] Sayaka
    Good morning, Yoshiko-chan.
[05:38] Yoshiko
    You're as cute as ever, Sayaka-chan.
[05:40] Sayaka
    O-Oh, please. You're cuter
    than me, Yoshiko-chan.
[05:44] Yoshiko
    What? Really?!
[05:45] Yoshiko
    Like, the cutest in the world?!
[05:46] Sayaka
    Huh?
[05:47] Sayaka
    S-Sure...
[05:48] Yoshiko
    For real?! Then next, I'll be
    the cutest in the universe?!
[05:50] Sayaka
    S-Sure...
[05:52] Akira
    Wait, stop.
[05:53] Akira
    I beg of you, please don't
    encourage this idiot.
[05:57] Sayaka
    Well, it's true that Yoshiko-chan
    is cuter than me.
[06:01] Akira
    Uh, no matter how you look at it,
     you're definitely cuter.
[06:04] Sayaka
    Huh?
[06:06] Yoshiko
    You're hitting on her, A-kun?!
[06:08] Yoshiko
    How could you, when you
    have someone like me?!
[06:11] Akira
    Shut up, you idiot!
[06:14] Akira
    Hey...
[06:16] Akira
    We're not together.
[06:17] Sayaka
    U-Um, uh...
[06:19] Sayaka
    I'm sorry!
[06:20] Sayaka
    Your face is scary, so I have to decline!
[06:24] Akira
    Hey...
[06:26] Yoshiko
    Oh, A-kun...
[06:28] Yoshiko
    No cheating on me allowed, you hear?
[06:32] Akira
    What the hell are you
    talking about, you idiot?
[06:34] Yoshiko
    Even though you saw my
    panties again this morning?
[06:37] Akira
    You showed them to me when
    no one even asked you to!
[06:39] Yoshiko
    W-Well, it was embarrassing for me!
[06:42] Akira
    Then put some damn clothes on!
SIGN    Part 3
[06:56] Sensei
    All right.
[06:56] Sensei
    Is there anything anyone doesn't
    understand up to this point?
[06:59] Yoshiko
    Yes!
[07:00] Yoshiko
    I don't understand any of it!
[07:02] Sensei
    Well, that's not good.
[07:04] Yoshiko
    Indeed, it is not.
[07:05] Yoshiko
    So I want to go outside and play dodgeball!
[07:11] Yoshiko
    I wonder why I don't get any of this.
[07:14] Sayaka
    Maybe there's something else you're
    good at besides your studies.
[07:18] Sayaka
    Do you have any hobbies, Yoshiko-chan?
[07:20] Yoshiko
    Bananas!
[07:23] Sayaka
    U-Um... I meant is there
    anything that you like to do?
[07:27] Yoshiko
    Something I want to do?
[07:31] Yoshiko
    I want to stand above others.
[07:33] Sayaka
    That's...
[07:34] Akira
    ...impossible for you.
[07:36] Yoshiko
    Huh?!
[07:37] Sayaka
    B-But you're really cheerful, so maybe
    you can make others cheerful, too.
[07:43] Yoshiko
    Right?!
[07:44] Yoshiko
    You should end up beneath me in
    your future, too, Sayaka-chan.
[07:47] Sayaka
    Th-That's...
[07:49] Sayaka
    I-I mean, I don't have any talents.
[07:53] Yoshiko
    Have a little more faith in yourself!
[07:55] Yoshiko
    It's okay.
[07:57] Yoshiko
    If you try really hard, you'll end up
    being useful to someone, Sayaka-chan.
[08:01] Yoshiko
    Right?
[08:02] Akira
    Pretty sure you could
    get mad at any time now.
[08:06] Akira
    Also, know your place, Yoshiko.
[08:08] Yoshiko
    Oh, come on. You're such a kidder, A-kun.
[08:11] Akira
    I'm serious!
[08:13] Akira
    And you need to tell her
    when she's being impossible!
[08:17] Akira
    What?
[08:18] Yoshiko
    Jeez you're going to scare
    Sayaka-chan with a face like that!
[08:21] Akira
    I-I don't really care about
    being liked by your friends.
[08:25] Yoshiko
    That's not good! You don't even have
    any friends, let alone a girlfriend!
[08:29] Sayaka
    R-Really?
[08:31] Yoshiko
    Yeah, he's super cold and has a quick temper.
[08:34] Sayaka
    Ah...
[08:36] Sayaka
    B-But I'm sure he has at
    least a couple of friends.
[08:40] Yoshiko
    Nope! A-kun, let me see your phone.
[08:42] Akira
    Hey!
SIGN    Number of Contacts (3)
    
    Home
    Yoshiko
    Yoshiko's House
[08:43] Yoshiko
    See?
[08:47] Sayaka
    S-So tragic...
[08:49] Akira
    Really, stop.
[08:51] Sayaka
    All right.
[08:52] Sayaka
    I'll be your friend, A-kun-san.
[08:56] Yoshiko
    Really?! You aren't scared?
[08:58] Sayaka
    Yeah. Now that I know how tragic
    he is, he's not scary anymore.
[09:02] Yoshiko
    Oh, I totally get that.
[09:05] Sayaka
    Cheer up, okay?
[09:09] Yoshiko
    Isn't that great, A-kun?
[09:12] Akira
    Her kindness... hurts.
SIGN    Home Yoshiko Yoshiko's House Sumino Sayaka
[09:20] Yoshiko
    All right, it's done!
[09:22] Yoshiko
    A-kun's at the height of puberty,
    so I'm sure that when he sees this,
[09:25] Yoshiko
    he'll get all worked up and...
[09:28] Akira
    Yoshiko's boobies!
[09:30] Yoshiko
    Eek! A-kun, you perv!
[09:41] Yoshiko
    It's okay, A-kun. You can't
    help it, since you're a boy.
[09:45] Yoshiko
    Yoshiko!
SIGN    Part 4
SIGN    Disciplinary Committee
[09:50] Discipline
    The disciplinary committee will be
    searching everyone's belongings.
[09:53] Discipline
    Make sure you thoroughly show
    us the inside of your bags.
[09:56] Akira
    A search... Hey, go throw that book away.
[09:59] Yoshiko
    No! This book is basically a part of me!
[10:04] Discipline
    You, there! What do you think
    you're bringing into school?
[10:06] Yoshiko
    Oh, this? I gave this to A-kun this morning.
[10:10] Akira
    Hey!
[10:11] Discipline
    I'll be confiscating that as the
    head of the disciplinary committee.
[10:13] Discipline
    Bringing something so indecent
    to school so boldly...
[10:16] Discipline
    It's people like you that bring disorder
    to the decency of this school.
[10:19] Akira
    Damn that Yoshiko...
[10:21] Discipline
    Are you listening to me?
[10:24] Yoshiko
    Your boobs are huge!
[10:26] Yoshiko
    The president of the disciplinary
    committee's boobs
[10:28] Yoshiko
    bring more disorder to this
    school's decency than anything else!
[10:30] Discipline
    Wh-Who do you think you are?
[10:32] Yoshiko
    I'm Hanabatake Yoshiko from Class 1-2!
[10:35] Yoshiko
    Could I squeeze your boobies for science?
[10:38] Discipline
    O-Of course not!
[10:40] Yoshiko
    Oh, come on. I'm not saying "for free."
[10:42] Discipline
    Hey, I'm the president of the
    disciplinary committee. You can't...
[10:48] Discipline
    She must be an idiot.
[10:51] Yoshiko
    What?
[10:52] Yoshiko
    Then...
[10:53] Yoshiko
    How about a banana?
[10:56] Discipline
    Huh?
[10:56] Yoshiko
    And it's no ordinary banana!
[11:00] Yoshiko
    Once you eat it...
[11:03] Discipline
    What's with this girl? She's so creepy.
[11:05] Yoshiko
    Your body will crave more,
    until you can't go on without it.
[11:12] Discipline
    Do you mean the indecent kind of banana?
[11:14] Yoshiko
    Huh? It's just a high-quality banana.
    They cost 1,000 yen each!
SIGN    Sweet Banana
[11:18] Discipline
    Huh?
[11:19] Yoshiko
    Wait, what? What's an indecent banana?!
[11:22] Yoshiko
    Oh, a peni—
[11:24] Discipline
    No!
[11:26] Yoshiko
    You're wide open!
[11:28] Discipline
    Wait, don't...
[11:29] Yoshiko
    This is...
[11:35] Yoshiko
    Mother of God!
[11:37] Yoshiko
    This heft! The bounciness!
    These aren't boobs anymore, they're...
[11:42] Yoshiko
    They're... What are they?!
[11:47] Akira
    What are you?!
[11:52] Yoshiko
    I-If my boobs were that big,
    A-kun would love me more.
[11:58] Yoshiko
    Erf.
[12:00] Akira
    Nope.
[12:03] Akira
    Sorry about that. Are you all right?
[12:05] Discipline
    Y-Yes.
[12:07] Akira
    If that idiot ever causes you
    trouble again, let me know.
[12:11] Akira
    I'll kill her.
[12:13] Discipline
    O-Okay.
SIGN    Aho Girl Multiplies!
[12:26] Yoshiko
    Next time: "Aho Girl Multiplies!"