E3 - Boobs: So Close, Yet So Far

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] Hachiya
    An eye gouge and an arm break...
    Kuro-san is pretty ruthless.
[00:22] Hachiya
    From the sound of it,
    I think her arm's shattered.
[00:26] Hibi
    Nah. He had her joint over the rail,
    so it's probably dislocated.
[00:30] Hibi
    If he was serious,
    he'd have snapped her neck.
[00:33] Hachiya
    Well, I'm going to take her
    to the nurse's office.
[00:37] Hibi
    You know Seduction Arts?
[00:41] Hachiya
    That's so dated.
[00:42] Hachiya
    The term is "Grade-2 Operator
    in Romantic Entanglement Actions."
[00:52] Eita
    Yamada-san... Did you just hear
    a scream coming from up above?
[00:56] Kuro
    That voice...
SIGN    September 9th
[00:58] Kuro
    Eita?
SIGN    July 24th
[01:03] Narration
    On that summer evening,
[01:05] Narration
    the boy found himself standing in a daze
    in front of the apartment building.
[01:10] Narration
    What he saw had lulled him into a trance.
[01:14] Narration
    The bra he had failed to steal
    was hanging from the wall.
[01:18] Narration
    He could sense that it was a trap.
[01:21] Narration
    But at the same time, adolescent
    fantasies were stirring in his mind.
[01:26] Narration
    If the woman this bra had
    belonged to was responsible...
[01:31] Narration
    Could she be waiting on the other side
    of the window, with no bra on at all?
[01:53] (Flashback) Kuro
    Pretty effective.
[01:56] (Flashback) Kuro
    But the batteries on
    this thing don't last long.
[01:58] (Flashback) Kuro
    Gonna be tricky figuring out
    when to use the invisibility.
SIGN    Episode 3: "Boobs: So Close, Yet So Far"
[03:35] Eita
    What just happened to me?
[03:38] Eita
    Oh, I collapsed after grabbing the bra.
[03:43] Eita
    This must be a room in
    that run-down building...
[03:47] Eita
    The question is who it belongs to.
[03:51] (Flashback) Kawado
    Hurry and put it on me.
[04:04] (Flashback) Ono
    Excuse me? Did you just sigh?
[04:07] (Flashback) Ono
    I was nice enough to bring you
    inside after I saw you out cold
[04:10] (Flashback) Ono
    with that bra in your hands!
[04:13] (Flashback) Ono
    Okay, you just clicked your tongue at me!
[04:15] (Flashback) Ono
    I know you're the underwear thief, y'know!
[04:18] (Flashback) Eita
    I'm remaining silent.
    I want legal defense present.
[04:23] (Flashback) Eita
    Until then, I'm not saying another word.
[04:25] (Flashback) Ono
    What, did they teach you
    about that at school yesterday?
[04:30] (Flashback) Kuro
    Better not sit up yet.
[04:33] (Flashback) Kuro
    You might've hit your head when you fell.
[04:37] (Flashback) Kuro
    Why'd you collapse? Does that happen often?
[04:40] (Flashback) Eita
    No... I remember there was this pain
    in my left shoulder, and then I passed out.
[04:45] (Flashback) Kuro
    Sounds like anemia.
[04:47] (Flashback) Kuro
    I may or may not have heard something
    about pickled eggplant being good for that.
[04:51] (Flashback) Kuro
    Eat.
[04:52] (Flashback) Ono
    That sounds made-up.
[04:57] (Flashback) Eita
    I don't really like pickled foods.
    Especially eggplant.
[05:01] (Flashback) Kuro
    I hear you.
[05:02] (Flashback) Kuro
    Ever since I tried the stuff Ono-san's mom
    sends him, I don't like it anymore, either.
[05:06] (Flashback) Ono
    Come on, Kuro-kun, that's just rude!
[05:09] (Flashback) Kawado
    Anyone home?
[05:11] (Flashback) Kawado
    Hey, you're drinking!
[05:14] (Flashback) Kawado
    I want in!
[05:15] (Flashback) Kawado
    Oh, right.
[05:17] (Flashback) Kawado
    Here, Ono-san. I got you
    a beer, so now we're even!
[05:21] (Flashback) Ono
    Er, you actually drank more than one, but...
[05:24] (Flashback) Kawado
    Aw, quit whining!
[05:27] (Flashback) Kawado
    So, what's with the kid?
[05:30] (Flashback) Ono
    W-Well... He's...
[05:34] (Flashback) Kuro
    He actually...
[05:36] (Flashback) Kuro
    found this bra, and went
    out of his way to deliver it.
[05:42] (Flashback) Kawado
    You did?! Well, thanks!
[05:46] (Flashback) Eita
    It's fine...
[05:47] (Flashback) Kawado
    Ooh, pickled eggplant!
[05:52] (Flashback) Kuro
    Hey, kid.
[05:54] (Flashback) Kuro
    You don't want the bra anymore?
[05:57] (Flashback) Eita
    Uh, no.
[05:59] (Flashback) Eita
    I think I'm okay now.
    Considering I almost became a criminal...
[06:03] (Flashback) Eita
    I appreciate you all not saying anything.
[06:05] (Flashback) Kuro
    Yeah, you already did break the law, though.
[06:08] (Flashback) Kuro
    What middle school do you go to, anyway?
[06:11] (Flashback) Eita
    Er, I'm actually in high school.
[06:15] (Flashback) Eita
    At Kodan High.
[06:17] (Flashback) Kuro
    Seriously? You're that old?
[06:20] (Flashback) Kuro
    You ought to know better, then.
    Maybe I should call the cops.
[06:25] (Flashback) Eita
    Wait! Please don't! I'll do anything!
[06:28] (Flashback) Kuro
    Your school... Kodan High. What's it like?
[06:32] (Flashback) Eita
    I'm not sure what you mean by that.
[06:34] (Flashback) Eita
    Plus, I haven't been going to class lately...
[06:39] (Flashback) Kuro
    Cutting classes, huh?
[06:40] (Flashback) Eita
    Yeah.
[06:41] (Flashback) Kuro
    You've got time to spare, then.
[06:45] (Flashback) Kuro
    I'm looking for a blond foreigner
    wearing a blue hoodie and glasses.
[06:50] (Flashback) Kuro
    You find him... and I'll send you this pic.
SIGN    At that time
[06:54] Sasama
    Om anichi...
[06:57] (Flashback) Sasama
    Marishiei...
[06:59] (Flashback) Sasama
    Sowaka.
SIGN    That must be ninjutsu...
SIGN    A camouflage technique, maybe.
[07:13] (Flashback) Junna
    Hey, welcome home, drone guy.
[07:15] (Flashback) Eita
    Where'd you get that from?
[07:17] (Flashback) Junna
    'Cuz you're always flying
    your drone, drone guy.
[07:20] (Flashback) Junna
    Hey, let me borrow it!
[07:23] (Flashback) Eita
    Not happening.
[07:24] (Flashback) Eita
    Anyway, did they lock you out again?
[07:28] (Flashback) Eita
    Hang on...
[07:29] (Flashback) Eita
    If you can find the blond foreigner with
    glasses, I'll let you borrow my drone.
[07:35] (Flashback) Junna
    Really?!
[07:38] (Flashback) Kid 1
    Hey, free skateboard!
[07:40] (Flashback) Kid 2
    Nice...
[07:42] (Flashback) Kid 1
    Looks like it's still good, too.
[07:44] (Flashback) Kuro
    Hey, kid.
[07:48] (Flashback) Kuro
    That's mine.
[07:50] (Flashback) Kid 1
    It's mine now. I picked it out of the trash.
[07:54] (Flashback) Kuro
    Easy there. I'm not asking you to give it away.
[08:01] (Flashback) Kuro
    How about we trade?
[08:04] (Flashback) Kuro
    It belongs to a college student.
[08:06] (Flashback) Kid 1
    Dude, we're in elementary school!
    Why would we care?
[08:10] (Flashback) Kid 2
    Y-Yeah!
[08:12] (Flashback) Kuro
    Is that right? Because it sounds like bull.
[08:16] (Flashback) Kuro
    You're old enough to get kicked out
    of the women's area at the public bath.
[08:19] (Flashback) Kuro
    That makes boobs seem so close,
    yet so far away.
[08:23] (Flashback) Kuro
    Someday, you're gonna need to unhook a bra.
[08:28] (Flashback) Kuro
    It would only benefit you to
    figure out how ahead of time.
[08:32] (Flashback) Kid 1
    Wh-What do you think?
[08:34] (Flashback) Kid 2
    I-It's your call.
[08:37] (Flashback) Kuro
    You can enjoy that skateboard right now...
[08:40] (Flashback) Kuro
    or invest in your future with this bra.
[08:44] (Flashback) Kuro
    Which is better in the long run?
SIGN    At that time
[08:48] (Flashback) Junna
    I found the foreigner!
[08:50] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Are you a ninja?
[08:54] (Flashback) Junna
    This is my house.
[09:00] (Flashback) Junna
    It's okay. They're gone.
[09:03] (Flashback) Junna
    They'd get mad if they found out.
[09:05] (Flashback) Junna
    I'm not actually supposed to be in here.
[09:08] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Then where do you sleep?
[09:12] (Flashback) Junna
    In here.
[09:13] (Flashback) Foreigner
    This is... the bathroom, though.
[09:16] (Flashback) Junna
    That's right. I'm not his daughter,
    so I have to sleep here.
SIGN    Child abuse...
SIGN    In a country as wealthy as this?
[09:26] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Junna-san, isn't it hard
    sleeping in the bath?
[09:30] (Flashback) Junna
    Not really. I'm used to it by now.
[09:33] (Flashback) Junna
    I bet you're hungry, huh?
[09:35] (Flashback) Junna
    Here! Have a cucumber.
[09:37] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Thank you.
[09:38] (Flashback) Junna
    I hate them, myself.
[10:01] (Flashback) Kawado
    Knock it off!
[10:03] (Flashback) Kawado
    What the hell? That's you, isn't it, Kuro-kun?!
[10:07] (Flashback) Kuro
    Kawado-san?
[10:09] (Flashback) Kuro
    Care to join me?
[10:11] (Flashback) Kawado
    Come on, lift me up!
[10:16] (Flashback) Kuro
    You're as heavy... as I figured.
[10:19] (Flashback) Kawado
    If you knew beforehand,
    then shut up about it.
[10:30] (Flashback) Kawado
    Well, let's drink up!
[10:34] (Flashback) Kuro
    Wait, are you treating me?
[10:37] (Flashback) Kawado
    You bring that up after opening it?
[10:41] (Flashback) Kawado
    Sure, it's my treat.
[10:47] (Flashback) Kawado
    This is like one of those bier gardens!
    Tastes better this way!
[10:53] (Flashback) Kuro
    No work today?
[10:55] (Flashback) Kawado
    That's right. It's my time of the month, so...
[10:58] (Flashback) Kuro
    I see. I'd say you earned the rest.
[11:00] (Flashback) Kawado
    You're basically in your
    apartment all the time, huh?
[11:05] (Flashback) Kuro
    Yeah. Haven't really gone
    anywhere since I moved in.
[11:09] (Flashback) Kawado
    You're a shut-in! What do
    you do for food and stuff?
[11:14] (Flashback) Kuro
    Early on, the landlady would feed me
    lunch when checking in on things...
[11:20] (Flashback) Kuro
    But she's been bedridden,
    which means I've had to improvise.
[11:25] (Flashback) Kuro
    I eat hyorogan and wild grass,
[11:28] (Flashback) Kuro
    and treat myself to small
    portions of Ono-san's rice.
[11:31] (Flashback) Kawado
    Just get a job!
[11:34] (Flashback) Kuro
    It's not as bad as "if I get a job, I lose," but...
[11:37] (Flashback) Kuro
    I do feel like I'd rather die than get a job.
[11:40] (Flashback) Kawado
    That's even worse!
[11:42] (Flashback) Kawado
    What do you do about rent and stuff, then?
[11:46] (Flashback) Kuro
    Y'know how my room's connected
    to Ono-san's through the closet?
[11:50] (Flashback) Kuro
    I'm technically staying in his guest room.
[11:56] (Flashback) Kuro
    I was looking for somewhere to move,
[11:58] (Flashback) Kuro
    when I came upon him getting mugged by
    middle schoolers in front of the station.
[12:03] (Flashback) Kuro
    I saved him, and it ended with me moving in.
[12:08] (Flashback) Kawado
    You sure sound like you've
    got enough energy for a job.
[12:13] (Flashback) Kuro
    When I think about working,
    I start feeling tired.
[12:18] (Flashback) Kuro
    So I sleep.
[12:19] (Flashback) Kawado
    Don't sleep!
[12:21] (Flashback) Kawado
    Don't you have that entrance exam
    coming up? You gonna be okay?
[12:25] (Flashback) Kuro
    Studying also makes me tired,
    so... I'm not sure.
[12:29] (Flashback) Kawado
    In that case, why do
    you want to go to school?
[12:33] (Flashback) Kawado
    Well, I guess... you could say I've got
    a nosy relative who got on my case.
[12:40] (Flashback) Kawado
    Ugh, I know what that's like.
[12:42] (Flashback) Kawado
    When I dropped out, this egghead relative
    of mine would not shut up about it!
[12:48] (Flashback) Kuro
    Why'd you drop out, Kawado-san?
[12:52] (Flashback) Kawado
    Well...
[12:57] (Flashback) Kawado
    Most people don't remember it,
[12:59] (Flashback) Kawado
    but my parents died in that mess
    near the end of February, in 2010.
[13:06] (Flashback) Kawado
    I didn't really have time
    for school after that.
[13:11] (Flashback) Kuro
    The end of February 2010...
[13:14] (Flashback) Kuro
    February 22 on the 22nd year of Heisei...
SIGN    Ni-Ni Ni Ni-Ni Incident
[13:17] (Flashback) Kuro
    The Nin-Nin-Ni Ni-Nin Incident.
    The ninja disaster.
[13:23] (Flashback) Kawado
    I gotta pee. Need to change my pad, too.
[13:26] (Flashback) Kuro
    Okay.
[13:29] (Flashback) Kuro
    Be careful on your way down.
[13:32] (Flashback) Kawado
    I know.
[13:35] (Flashback) Kawado
    I'm not gonna fall or anything!
[13:39] (Flashback) Kawado
    Easy does it...
[13:54] (Flashback) Kuro
    What the heck?
[13:56] (Flashback) Kawado
    Kuro-kun?!
[13:58] (Flashback) Kawado
    Kuro-kun! Don't move! I'll call an ambulance!
[14:03] (Flashback) Kuro
    What about the bathroom, Kawado-san?
[14:04] (Flashback) Kawado
    Too late now!
[14:10] Kuro
    It's got an airbag installed? I see.
[14:18] Rear-Ender 2
    Well, our leader's being dragged
    off by the teddy bear guy.
[14:21] Rear-Ender 2
    What do we do now?
[14:23] Rear-Ender 1
    What do you mean?
    The enemy is still in front of us.
[14:27] Rear Ender 2
    Come to think of it,
    wasn't there a girl with them?
[14:48] Rear Ender 2
    Hey, are you okay?
[14:57] Suzuki
    Surrender already.
[14:59] Suzuki
    Or the next one's aimed at your face.
    That'll leave a nasty scar.
[15:04] Kato
    Suzuki was the first to engage
    the dick-chopping foreigner, right?
[15:10] Ozu
    Yeah. She's got a ton of ninja handles.
[15:13] Ozu
    Like your student, Onikobe,
[15:16] Ozu
    she graduated from the Ninja Technical
    School's Kunoichi Program...
SIGN    September 9th
[15:19] Ozu
    at the top of her class.
SIGN    July 25th
[15:25] (Flashback) Junna
    Drone guy! Hey, drone guy!
[15:29] (Flashback) Eita
    Seriously, why do you call... me... that?
[15:34] (Flashback) Junna
    Gimme that drone!
[15:37] (Flashback) Junna
    Come on, the drone!
[15:43] (Flashback) Junna
    It's flying! It really flies!
[15:45] (Flashback) Junna
    I'll let you go next!
[15:47] (Flashback) Junna
    Do you know how to use it?
[15:48] (Flashback) Foreigner
    I've flown a few suicide drones before.
[15:52] Eita
    The blond foreigner in a
    blue hoodie and glasses...
[15:56] Eita
    I gotta call Kuro-san.
[15:59] Yoshida
    Just when I thought it
    had quieted down some...
[16:02] Yoshida
    There's that drone again.
[16:05] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Yoshida-sensei.
[16:06] (Flashback) Yoshida
    Oh, right, right.
[16:07] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Thank you so much for letting
    me see your manuscript.
[16:12] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Your depiction of the grief these ninja go
    through was so vivid. I was honestly touched.
[16:17] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Excellent work!
[16:19] (Flashback) Yoshida
    I'm glad to hear that. It's quite a relief.
[16:23] (Flashback) Suzuki
    This scene where the ninja
    are all wiped out, especially,
[16:26] (Flashback) Suzuki
    had me holding my sides in laughter.
[16:28] (Flashback) Yoshida
    Uh, that's supposed to be a tragic scene...
[16:32] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Now, I'd like to talk to you about
    a few edits I was thinking of.
[16:35] (Flashback) Yoshida
    R-Right.
[16:38] (Flashback) Hibi
    Hey!
[16:39] (Flashback) Hibi
    Crossing up upon the bypass,
    heading to paradise in first class!
[16:44] (Flashback) Hibi
    With an eye looking on the
    future, and even the past!
[16:47] (Flashback) Hibi
    And then...
[16:48] (Flashback) Taira
    Shut the fuck up and walk, baldo.
[16:51] (Flashback) Hibi
    Oh, sure.
[16:53] Hibi
    That's my master for you.
[16:54] Hibi
    He's bald himself, but he calls me,
    with my long hair, baldo.
[17:00] (Flashback) Suzuki
    First, I'd cut this part. It's just repeating
    what was on the previous page.
[17:04] (Flashback) Yoshida
    B-But that's...
[17:06] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Let's drop this entire chapter, too.
[17:09] (Flashback) Yoshida
    Wh-Whoa, that's basically
    a rewrite at that point!
[17:12] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Oh, this can go, too.
[17:15] Suzuki
    And this scene at the beginning...
    I'd like you to rewrite that.
[17:15] (Flashback) Yoshida
    What happened to all that praise?
[17:20] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Oh, sorry, the office is calling.
SIGN    Capture the foreigner.
    2-X-X Nishiki-cho in Nerima City.
    Murayama Flats.
SIGN    Understood
[17:28] Suzuki
    Sensei, a question...
SIGN    Roger that
SIGN    Roger that
[17:31] (Flashback) Suzuki
    What's the name of this slu—
    I mean, apartment building?
[17:36] (Flashback) Yoshida
    It's Murayama Flats.
SIGN    Capture the foreigner.
    2-X-X Nishiki-cho in Nerima City.
    Murayama Flats.
[17:41] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Sorry, my boss has urgent business for me.
[17:46] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Please have the corrections ready
    before 3:00 PM tomorrow.
[17:48] (Flashback) Yoshida
    W-W-Wait! There's no way!
[17:51] (Flashback) Suzuki
    If you'll excuse me.
[17:55] (Flashback) Yoshida
    W-Wait...
[18:03] Suzuki
    Yoshida-sensei.
[18:05] Suzuki
    He's so anxious and hunched over.
[18:09] Suzuki
    He'll probably be up all night
    with those corrections.
[18:12] Suzuki
    Good luck. I'll see you again tomorrow.
SIGN    Cigarettes
[18:16] (Flashback) Taira
    Pops, gimme some smokes and matches.
[18:19] (Flashback) Owner
    Store's not even open anymore.
    You should head on out of here.
[18:23] (Flashback) Taira
    Don't be like that! Help a guy out.
[18:25] (Flashback) Owner
    Who the hell gets their orders from
    color-coded matches in this day and age?
[18:30] (Flashback) Owner
    These days, there's those Marishitens
    and that Escape thing...
[18:34] (Flashback) Owner
    A buncha fancy gizmos with
    old-fashioned names stuck on 'em.
[18:37] (Flashback) Owner
    Which leaves guys like us
    treated like antiques!
[18:41] (Flashback) Taira
    I happen to like antiques, myself.
[18:44] (Flashback) Taira
    The thing about tech is you can't
    rely on it in the heat of the moment,
[18:48] (Flashback) Taira
    when your life is on the line.
[18:50] (Flashback) Hibi
    I hear the cheers, they come at me for years!
[18:54] (Flashback) Taira
    Come on, Hibi, let's go.
[18:55] (Flashback) Hibi
    Where to?
[18:58] (Flashback) Taira
    Time for your first mission
    at Murayama Flats.
[19:01] (Flashback) Taira
    Consider everyone you run into an enemy.
[19:04] (Flashback) Hibi
    Hell yeah. Finally some combat.
[19:11] Suzuki
    The target is on the shared balcony
    on the second floor...
[19:24] (Flashback) Junna
    Hey, let me see it already!
[19:36] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Pardon me!
[19:40] (Flashback) Junna
    Ow...
[19:45] (Flashback) Junna
    Hey! What the heck was that?
[19:47] (Flashback) Suzuki
    You okay? Any injuries?
[19:49] (Flashback) Junna
    Yeah! I skinned my knee!
[19:52] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Sorry about that. But civilian
    casualties come with the job.
[19:56] (Flashback) Suzuki
    If you want to file a complaint,
[19:58] (Flashback) Suzuki
    submit it to the local
    courthouse within 30 days.
[20:02] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Not that it'll matter.
[20:04] (Flashback) Suzuki
    You're a high schooler, so you ought
    to understand what's going on.
[20:07] (Flashback) Suzuki
    If you want to avoid trouble,
    keep that mouth zipped.
[20:10] (Flashback) Eita
    I-I won't say a word!
[20:13] (Flashback) Suzuki
    That drone of yours has
    really complicated things.
[20:17] (Flashback) Suzuki
    And I had an appointment
    at the beautician later...
[20:19] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Now I'm gonna be late.
[20:21] (Flashback) Eita
    I-I'm sorry, but... I also
    have no idea what's going on.
[20:28] (Flashback) Suzuki
    Well, I'll still win in the end.
[20:48] (Flashback) Foreigner
    She vanished?!
[20:50] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Damn it!
[21:27] Suzuki
    He's had electrocution conditioning.
[21:30] Suzuki
    I screwed up.
[21:33] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Was there bulletproof gel in her shirt?
[21:38] (Flashback) Foreigner
    Is that enough to block .22 LR rounds?
[21:43] Suzuki
    If hitting his heart with the taser won't
    work, I'll have to aim for his head.
[21:48] Suzuki
    I'll intercept his shot with my hand and
    then redirect it to avoid a critical wound.
[21:54] Suzuki
    I am not dying here.
[21:57] Foreigner
    Her movements... She's not begging for mercy.
[22:00] Foreigner
    Are ninja that fixated on survival?
[22:05] (Flashback) Hibi
    Yo, yo, is someone playing with my yo-yo?
[22:11] (Flashback) Hibi
    Damn, you both look like shit.
[22:14] (Flashback) Hibi
    You pick a fight with the wrong person?
[22:19] (Flashback) Hibi
    Well, the star's here now.
    So where's my applause?
SIGN    Episode 4: "Do You Know What the Ninja Code Says?"
[23:55] Kuro
    Suzuki is the second most common family
    name in Japan. You got me beat.
[23:59] Suzuki
    Do you really care that much?
[24:01] Kuro
    Isn't it nice to be highly ranked?
[24:02] Kuro?
    There are 1,700,000 Suzukis across the—
[24:06] Suzuki
    Let me stop you right there!
[24:07] Suzuki
    And damn, you must really love Jump.