E12 - Side B / Side M

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] ---
    Being a magical girl...
[00:11] ---
    and saving the world is something…
    of a dream job.
[00:18] ---
    And I just happen to be a magical girl.
[00:18] ---
    Happy Happy Happiness!
[00:21] ---
    With my happy power, I'll happily send you to heaven!
[00:23] ---
    Draft beer, please!
[00:24] ---
    Yes, coming right up!
[00:26] ---
    I’m called Glass Happiness,
    a magical girl with the power of misfortune.
[00:31] ---
    Here you are…!
[00:33] ---
    You’re really cute. Why not come work for me?
[00:36] ---
    Uhm, sure?
[00:38] ---
    No~!
[00:40] ---
    Whenever I meet Mr. Lieutenant at the park,
    he’s always the first to see me.
[00:47] ---
    Today, however…I don’t think he’s
    noticed me this close to him.
[00:48] ---
    --Alright! Here we go!
[00:52] ---
    It’s unusual…
[00:54] ---
    I wonder what kind of face he’ll make when I surprise him.
[00:59] ---
    I wanna see it…
SIGN    Excited...
[01:00] ---
    I’ll sneak up and cover his eyes…
[01:03] ---
    Guess who…! Ah…
SIGN    Not tall
     enough
[01:09] ---
    …It’s you.
[01:10] ---
    Yeah… it’s me…
SIGN    Dejected
[01:13] ---
    I wasn’t able to see his face in surprise.
[01:18] ---
    I forgot! There was actually a
    catchphrase I was supposed to say…
[01:23] ---
    A catchphrase?
[01:25] ---
    You have to say it.
[01:27] ---
    Okay...
[01:28] ---
    Time got away from us today so I’ll do it tomorrow.
[01:32] ---
    No.
[01:34] ---
    You should do it right now.
[01:35] ---
    Huh...?
[01:37] ---
    It’s embarrassing but it’s part of the job.
[01:41] ---
    Uhm, here goes…
[01:44] ---
    Go ahead.
[01:45] ---
    Happy Happy Happiness!
[01:48] ---
    With my un-happy power,
     I will happily cast you into hapless oblivion!
[01:59] ---
    Mr. Lieutenant?
[02:03] ---
    Saying something so silly with a straight face!
    You sure take your work seriously, huh?
[02:07] ---
    I bet that cat came up with that one...
[02:12] ---
    You know, you really should tell him off more.
[02:19] ---
    I didn’t know seeing Mr. Lieutenant’s smile
     could make me feel so happy…
[02:24] ---
    That was embarrassing for me,
    but seeing his smile was worth it.
[02:28] ---
    I’ll try harder next time!
[02:31] ---
    That was fun. Now…
[02:34] ---
    Do it again.
[02:37] ---
    I did it three more times.
[02:40] ---
    No more please…
[02:42] ---
    It’s for research.
[02:44] ---
    You’re such a meanie sometimes…
[02:47] ---
    You only noticed now? I’m the ruthless
     Evil Lieutenant, remember?
[02:52] ---
    That can’t be.
[02:53] ---
    You’re really so kind even when you tease me a bunch…
[03:02] ---
    By the way, can you use magic as a magical girl?
[03:07] ---
    Yes, just a little bit…
[03:09] ---
    Today, I'll teach you how to turn
    misfortune into happiness...
[03:14] ---
    through “Happiness Conversion."
[03:17] ---
    Okay. That sounds like wonderful magic.
[03:20] ---
    But first, you need to experience
    some misfortune yourself. Mmbyee~!
[03:24] ---
    Huh?
[03:26] ---
    Oh my… You're a cutie.
[03:32] ---
    I gave it my all…
[03:33] ---
    Is that so?
SIGN    Training?
[03:34] ---
    After that, I gave Mr. Lieutenant
    a little demonstration of my magic.
[03:40] ---
    Okay, so, I need you to do something
     that makes me unhappy.
[03:44] ---
    How so?
[03:46] ---
    Well…
SIGN    
SIGN    [Doesn't
     hurt]
SIGN    
SIGN    [Stopped
    halfway]
[03:53] ---
    …Let’s stop.
[03:56] ---
    Mr. Lieutenant really is...
[04:00] ---
    ...A kind person…
[04:11] ---
    The Evil Lieutenant.
[04:14] ---
     He's considered the brains of the Evil Organization, and known far and wide for his cold-heartedness.
[04:22] ---
    However, not many know his true nature.
[04:27] ---
    You can choose whichever character you want.
[04:30] ---
    The sheep…
[04:32] ---
    Alright then.
[04:33] ---
    It looks a little like her.
[04:36] ---
    I’m always the one calling
    out to her when we meet in the park.
[04:41] ---
    As such, this time I'll try
    pretending not to notice her.
[04:42] ---
    --Alright! Here we go!
[04:46] ---
    But this by no means implies that I'm
    desperate for her to notice me more or anything!
[04:52] ---
    I sense her getting closer.
[04:55] ---
    Is she trying to slowly get close to me so she can
     surprise me? Is she going to cover my eyes?
[04:59] ---
    I sense her reaching up…
    She’s gonna cover my eyes…!
[05:02] ---
    Guess who…? Ah…
SIGN    Not tall
    enough
[05:05] ---
    She can’t reach…!?
[05:07] ---
    The award for being cutest and cleverest should go to her!
[05:10] ---
    …It’s you.
[05:13] ---
    I forgot! There was actually a
    catchphrase I was supposed to say…
[05:19] ---
    A catchphrase?
[05:20] ---
    It’s necessary for a magical girl’s entrance, apparently.
[05:23] ---
    I'm not certain it’s a necessity, but it could
     be a highlight of what she can do…
[05:26] ---
    Time got away from us today so I’ll do it tomorrow.
[05:29] ---
    A highlight…
[05:30] ---
    No, you should do it right now.
[05:32] ---
    Huh?
[05:33] ---
    Come now, Magical Girl!
    I’m your enemy, and I stand in your way!
[05:38] ---
    I need to see it! Plain and simple!
[05:41] ---
    Uhm, here goes…
[05:43] ---
    Go ahead.
[05:45] ---
    Happy Happy Happiness!
[05:48] ---
    With my un-happy power,
     I will happily cast you into hapless oblivion!
[05:55] ---
    I’m sorry, that's just the cutest but most pathetic
     thing ever! Incredible! I want to make her happy…!
[06:00] ---
    Phew, that was fun.
[06:03] ---
    I obtained another piece of data on magical girls.
[06:07] ---
    I’m not sure how useful it’ll be, though.
[06:10] ---
    Even so, I can't afford
     to overlook even the tiniest detail.
[06:13] ---
    As such...
[06:15] ---
    Now… Do it again.
[06:17] ---
    Ha… Happi…
[06:19] ---
    Hm? What’s wrong? I can't hear you.
[06:24] ---
    I had her do it three more times.
[06:27] ---
    You’re such a meanie sometimes…
[06:30] ---
    You only noticed now? I’m the ruthless
     Evil Lieutenant, remember?
[06:34] ---
    That can’t be.
[06:36] ---
    You’re really so kind even when you tease me a bunch…
[06:41] ---
    I want to make her do more embarrassing thingsssss…!
[06:46] ---
    This is just part of my research,
    but what kind of magic can you do?
[06:51] ---
    Well... There's “Happiness Happiness”.
[06:55] ---
    If I use that, nothing but good things will happen.
[06:58] ---
    Wouldn't that make you invincible?
[07:00] ---
    But it only lasts nine seconds.
[07:02] ---
    Oh...
[07:04] ---
    And I can use “Happiness Conversion,"
     where I can turn misfortune into happiness…
[07:09] ---
    Oh…
[07:11] ---
    Happiness Conversion!
[07:16] ---
    Okay, so, I need you to make me unhappy.
[07:20] ---
    How so?
[07:21] ---
    Well…
[07:23] ---
    You can try hitting me?
[07:25] ---
    I can’t do that.
[07:27] ---
    You can’t?
[07:28] ---
    It would be outside my specialty.
[07:32] ---
    How about lightly pinching me?
[07:37] ---
    Don’t mind me…
[07:41] ---
    So soft… Her cheeks are like marshmallows.
[07:46] ---
    They're white and puffy…
[07:49] ---
    Ah, uhm…
[07:51] ---
    I don't think that's really working…
[07:56] ---
    Go…go ahead.
[07:59] ---
    Excuse me…
[08:03] ---
    It’s like her magic is awakening something in me.
[08:09] ---
    Let’s stop…
[08:11] ---
    Before it’s too late.
[08:15] ---
    I’m sorry I couldn’t show you any magic…
[08:18] ---
    How careless of you, apologizing for not
     showing your enemy your skills.
[08:24] ---
    It’s hard for me to show you my magic…
[08:30] ---
    I like being touched by your big hands…
     so it’s hard for me to be unhappy.
[08:37] ---
    What you’re saying is so good and so bad!
[08:39] ---
    There’s no room for misunderstandings here!
[08:41] ---
    Mr. Lieutenant? What’s wrong?
[08:46] ---
    I wish I could've done it for him...
[08:55] ---
    I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Lieutenant.
[09:00] ---
    Mhm.
[09:04] ---
    Sweet treats. Mr. Lieutenant’s smile.
    Mr. Lieutenant’s hands.
[09:10] ---
    Seriously...
[09:13] ---
    You’ve had me losing my mind ever since we met.
[09:19] ---
    Even though I'm a cold-hearted evil lieutenant.
[09:23] ---
    Even though I'm the magical girl of misfortune.
[09:27] ---
    We'll say “See you tomorrow” again today as we part.
[09:31] ---
    I feel all the happiness in the world
     when I’m with Mr. Lieutenant.
[09:38] ---
    Good night, Magical Girl…
[09:49] ---
    Good night, Mr. Lieutenant.
[09:54] ---
    The days we have...
[09:57] ---
    I'm helpless against...
[09:59] ---
    The happiness that I feel.
[11:05] ---
    I’m heading out.
[11:24] ---
    Hibana, what’s this dessert?
SIGN    To my dear familiar
[11:28] ---
    Hibanaaaa!
[11:30] ---
    F*ck!
[11:35] ---
    Being outspoken and passionate would do more harm than good!
[11:37] ---
    Is that so?!
[11:39] ---
    The personality test again?
[11:41] ---
    He likes them too.
[11:49] ---
    Me? I'm a continent of passion!
[11:54] ---
    Has anyone seen Mira?
[11:55] ---
    Mira is on a mission.
[12:08] ---
    All set.
[12:10] ---
    Mr. Lieutenant…!
[12:22] ---
    Sorry for the wait!
[12:24] ---