E3 - Surprise

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Rikka
    I'm starving!
[00:05] Chiyo
    Would you like to have some takoyaki here?
[00:08] Tsubasa
    That place isn't that great,
    but it'll do.
SIGN    Takoyaki
[00:12] Shopkeeper
    Welcome!
[00:14] Shopkeeper
    Hello there, cutie!
[00:16] Shopkeeper
    Here, one extra on the house!
[00:19] Rikka
    Yay! Thank you!
[00:21] Shopkeeper
    Good to see you again, beautiful!
[00:24] Shopkeeper
    Here ya go, one extra!
[00:26] Chiyo
    Thank you.
[00:28] Shopkeeper
    Well, ain't you a pretty one!
[00:31] Shopkeeper
    Have an extra!
[00:33] Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[00:35] Narrator
    Tsubasa has mixed feelings about this.
[00:38] Shopkeeper
    Here you go!
[00:39] Shopkeeper
    Thanks!
[00:48] Narrator
    No extra for Sekine.
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
[02:28] Chiyo
    It's my fault for suggesting
    we should eat something...
[02:32] Tsubasa
    If he hadn't given me an extra either,
    it wouldn't have been so bad...
[02:35] Sekine
    Stop... When you try to be nice,
    it makes me feel worse...
[02:41] Sekine
    I have to pull off an
    "I don't mind at all" move...
[02:46] Sekine
    Look! I found an extra!
[02:49] Sekine
    Here! Takoyaki!
[03:05] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, I'm actually
    a regular at that place.
[03:10] Chiyo
    I think that's the only reason
    why he gave me an extra.
[03:13] Chiyo
    So please don't take it the wrong way.
[03:17] Tsubasa
    Besides, that takoyaki
    doesn't even taste good.
[03:20] Tsubasa
    He just gives out extras because
    that's the only way he can get customers.
[03:25] Rikka
    Yeah, who even wants an extra
    if it doesn't taste good?
[03:29] Narrator
    Everyone is doing their best
    to back Sekine up.
[03:33] Sekine
    Guys...
[03:35] Male student 1
    Um, excuse me.
[03:43] Male student 1
    This is my ID. Message me if you have time.
SIGN    Wink!
[03:49] Male student 2
    Please.
[03:50] Male student 3
    And me, thanks.
[03:53] Male students
    Bye!
[03:53] Male students
    See ya.
[03:53] Male students
    I'll be waiting!
SIGN    The one who was completely ignored
SIGN    The one
     who forgot
     to say no
[04:00] Chiyo
    I'll kill them. They're amateurs,
    so I'll only need three minutes...
[04:04] Sekine
    Please don't go so far.
[04:07] Sekine
    Uhh... Life!
[04:11] Sekine
    Life is so precious!
[04:15] Sekine
    Life!
SIGN    Life
[04:21] Sekine
    Ain't it?!
SIGN    Ain't it?!
[04:23] Rikka & Tsubasa
    "Ain't it?!"
[04:25] Sekine
    Life... is...
[04:28] Sekine
    flowers, the moon, the wind, and friends...
SIGN    Ain't it
[04:33] Sekine
    ain't it?
[04:35] Rikka & Tsubasa & Chiyo
    Ain't it...
[04:37] Chiyo
    Sh-She's right. Life is precious.
SIGN    Phew
SIGN    What was that?
[04:42] Chiyo
    That was close.
[04:44] Tsubasa
    But seriously, that shopkeeper has no taste!
[04:50] Tsubasa
    After all, Sekine is obviously the one
[04:51] Tsubasa
    that'll be the most popular
    when we all get older, right?
[04:54] Sekine
    Huh?
[04:55] Rikka
    Um... Yeah!
[04:56] Chiyo
    R-Right!
[04:58] Tsubasa
    Being popular later is much better
    than being popular now.
[05:02] Tsubasa
    Our time as students
    is just a tiny checkpoint
[05:04] Tsubasa
    in our century-long human lives!
[05:06] Rikka
    Exactly!
[05:08] Chiyo
    The future is more important
    than the present!
[05:10] Sekine
    Guys...
[05:12] Tsubasa
    Because above all else,
    Sekine has the biggest breasts!
[05:16] Tsubasa
    They're the biggest in our class, right?
[05:18] Chiyo
    Is that supposed to be a compliment?
[05:21] Tsubasa
    Even if you end up being a bit plump,
    big boobs guarantee you'll be popular.
[05:25] Tsubasa
    That shopkeeper probably only saw your face!
[05:28] Chiyo
    Stop...
[05:29] Rikka
    Don't do this to her...
[05:31] Tsubasa
    Don't worry! At parties,
    guys only look at the breasts!
[05:35] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Guys only look at the breasts!
    Guys only look at the breasts!
[05:40] Sekine
    So, Tsubasa, do you wanna
    trade my rack for your face?
[05:45] Tsubasa
    Huh? Well, uh...
[05:48] Tsubasa
    What is this atmosphere?
[05:48] Children's Singing Voice
    Uh oh, someone's in trouble!
[05:49] Tsubasa
    I was trying to be nice.
    Why is everyone so taken aback?
[05:54] Narrator
    He did his best, for an eighth-grade boy.
[05:56] Rikka
    Katsu!
[05:59] Sekine
    A Zen-monk-style scolding? What?
SIGN    Swirl...
[06:12] Rikka
    I'm starving!
[06:15] Chiyo
    Would you like to have some takoyaki here?
[06:18] Tsubasa
    That place isn't that great,
    but it'll do.
[06:25] Sekine
    We went back in time?!
[06:28] Rikka
    Good. Seems like our
    time warp was successful.
[06:31] Sekine
    You can do that?!
[06:34] Rikka
    I must win back Miss Sekine's dignity.
[06:37] Sekine
    She did it for me?
SIGN    Phew
[06:39] Sekine
    Now we can avoid
    that funeral-like mood.
SIGN    Takoyaki
[06:45] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, could you step aside?
SIGN    Delicious
SIGN    Specialty
SIGN    Takoyaki
[06:48] Sekine
    Oh, sure.
[06:50] Sekine
    What is it?
[06:51] Rikka
    Good. Now all that's left is...
[06:54] Rikka
    to turn all humans on Earth
    besides Miss Sekine into Space Hogs.
[06:58] Narrator
    Operation: Earthlings to Space Hogs.
[07:02] Rikka
    Thus, Miss Sekine will become the
    most beautiful human on Earth!
[07:08] Rikka
    Victory by default is still victory!
SIGN    Translation: What a beauty!
SIGN    Translation: The winner is Sekine-san!
[07:12] Space Hogs
    Oink! Oink-oink-oink!
[07:14] Space Hogs
    Oink! Oinkity oink!
SIGN    Translation: What is the secret
    behind your beauty?
[07:18] Interviewer Hog
    Oink, oink-oinky oinky oink-oink?
[07:20] Sekine
    Oh, nothing special.
[07:24] Sekine
    I should really stop her, huh?
[07:26] Narrator
    For a moment, she considered it.
[07:45] Chiyo & Tsubasa
    Oink?
[07:47] Sekine
    What?!
[07:51] Rikka
    Success! All humans other than
    Miss Sekine are now Space Hogs!
[07:58] Chiyo
    Oink...
[08:00] Hog Crowd
    Oink! Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink!
[08:02] Hog Crowd
    Oinkity-oink! Oinkity-oink!
[08:05] Hog Crowd
    O-O-Oink! Oinkity-oink! Oink, oink!
[08:09] Narrator
    The human race has been defeated...
    and so has Sekine.
[08:13] Rikka
    What...?!
[08:16] Rikka
    Then how about this?
[08:18] Rikka
    All humans are now Space Frogs!
[08:20] Space Frogs
    Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
[08:22] Narrator
    A second crushing blow!
[08:24] Rikka
    All humans, become minerals!
[08:32] Narrator
    Oh, Sekine!
[08:41] Rikka
    Now that I think about it,
    of course hogs would prefer hogs,
[08:43] Rikka
    and frogs would prefer frogs.
    That's just common sense.
[08:45] Narrator
    If only she'd realized that beforehand!
[08:50] Chiyo
    Hmm? What just happened?
SIGN    Delicious
SIGN    Specialty
SIGN    Takoyaki
[08:53] Rikka
    U-Um, we were trying to buy takoyaki.
[08:57] Sekine
    She wiped that whole block of memory.
[09:00] Sekine
    The Colonel's brainwashing is intense.
[09:02] Rikka
    I have to come up with a new plan of action!
[09:05] Sekine
    Enough, already!
[09:07] Sekine
    Um, this might sound a bit sudden, but...
[09:09] Sekine
    I think it's the personality that counts.
[09:16] Sekine
    At this point, it's almost
    refreshingly easy to accept.
[09:22] Sekine
    No matter what my appearance
    is like, I have to live with it.
[09:26] Rikka
    Sekine-chan!
[09:28] Rikka
    You're right! You are who you are!
[09:32] Tsubasa
    Where did that come from?
[09:34] Chiyo
    What about appearances?
[09:36] Rikka
    Besides, Earthlings are such
    simple constructs!
[09:39] Tsubasa
    Aren't we pretty complex?
[09:41] Rikka
    Huh? I mean, uh, friendship!
[09:44] Chiyo
    Yes. Our friendship will never change.
[09:48] Tsubasa
    What is this about?
[09:58] Chiyo
    Are you all right?!
[10:05] Sekine
    I really am out of luck today.
[10:13] Rikka
    Sekine-chan.
[10:14] Chiyo
    Sekine-san.
[10:15] Tsubasa
    Sekine.
[10:18] Tsubasa
    You should always be covered
    with muddy water.
[10:20] Sekine
    Why?!
[10:21] Narrator
    A straight punch of goodwill.
[10:28] Rikka
    Come on, let's go home.
    We can get takoyaki another time.
[10:31] Tsubasa
    Sounds good.
[10:32] Sekine
    Yeah.
[10:33] Chiyo
    Let's do that.
[10:37] Rikka
    That said, I must do something to prevent
    others from suffering like Miss Sekine did.
[10:41] Rikka
    I know! If the takoyaki
    was actually delicious,
[10:44] Rikka
    he wouldn't have to throw in extras
    to attract customers.
SIGN    500 yen per plate
SIGN    500 yen per plate
[10:55] Rikka
    I turned his octopus into Space Octopus,
    said to be the most delicious in the universe.
[11:00] Rikka
    You're welcome.
[11:02] Shopkeeper
    I've never seen such a
    delicious-looking octopus before!
[11:06] Shopkeeper
    Perhaps with this, I can compete on taste?
[11:19] Narrator
    The Space Octopus, through homing instinct,
    returned to outer space.
[11:22] Narrator
    After that point, no one ever saw
    a takoyaki stall in that area again.
SIGN    I never realized the takoyaki here
     wasn't good.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:27] Chiyo
    I never realized the
    takoyaki here wasn't good.
[11:35] Rikka
    Tsubasa-chan, how many
    piercings do you have?
[11:38] Tsubasa
    Nine in total, I think.
[11:39] Rikka
    Wow!
[11:41] Sekine
    That's quite a few.
[11:43] Chiyo
    They look good on you!
[11:45] Tsubasa
    Thanks.
[11:46] Tsubasa
    That reminds me. These piercings
    are how Sekine and I became friends.
[11:50] Sekine
    Oh, right. It was after
    the entrance ceremony.
[12:00] (Flashback) Teacher
    You there.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:03] (Flashback) Teacher
    Come to the faculty office later.
[12:05] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Oh... Yes.
[12:08] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Is she going to talk about my piercings?
[12:11] (Flashback) Sekine
    Tsubasa-san.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:13] (Flashback) Sekine
    I'll talk to the teacher and convince her.
[12:16] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[12:17] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[12:19] Tsubasa
    What a nice girl.
[12:20] (Flashback) Sekine
    Five hundred yen should be enough.
[12:23] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[12:26] (Flashback) Sekine
    Yes, I know. But it's for
    religious reasons, and...
[12:30] Tsubasa
    She's making up a whole backstory!
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:32] (Flashback) Sekine
    I was able to trick her.
[12:34] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[12:36] (Flashback) Sekine
    Tsubasa-san, want to get lunch
    at the cafeteria later?
[12:40] (Flashback) Sekine
    I'll treat you to one of those
    50-yen juice boxes.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:44] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    With my own money?
[12:46] Sekine
    That feat was only possible because
    of my highly developed social skills.
[12:49] Tsubasa
    I guess I do owe you thanks.
[12:52] Sekine
    Also, when Chiyo-san transferred in
    during the middle of our first year...
[13:00] (Flashback) Sekine
    Oh, that girl...
[13:02] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Hmm? Who?
[13:04] (Flashback) Sekine
    I heard she's from a really
    well-to-do family. And she's so pretty.
[13:09] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Wow, that's cool.
[13:11] (Flashback) Sekine
    Let's ask her out to lunch.
[13:13] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[13:13] (Flashback) Sekine
    Doesn't she have a
    "buys you lunch" kind of vibe?
[13:16] (Flashback) Sekine
    Like the new menu:
    meat-topped noodles, 390 yen.
[13:20] Narrator
    Sekine stays true to herself.
[13:23] (Flashback) Sekine
    Would you like to have lunch with us—
[13:25] (Flashback) Chiyo
    No, thank you.
[13:32] Chiyo
    I am here to take the headmaster's life.
[13:34] Chiyo
    I don't have time to make friends.
[13:37] (Flashback) Sekine
    That's too bad. I would have loved
    to have lunch together with her.
SIGN    Maskuma Figurine Strap
SIGN    Kyoto Ayanama
     Let's Go
     Tea-Emon
[13:50] (Flashback) Sekine
    Thank you for the food.
[13:52] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Oh, it comes with a little Maskuma.
[13:54] (Flashback) Sekine
    Hmm.
[13:55] (Flashback) Sekine
    Oh, I already have this one.
[13:59] (Flashback) Sekine
    Would you like it?
[14:00] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Stop shoving things you
    don't want onto other people.
SIGN    Line For Maskuma Merchandise
     Ends Here
[14:13] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Good morning.
[14:15] (Flashback) Sekine & Tsubasa
    Ch-Chiyo-san...?
[14:17] Sekine
    I remember that.
[14:19] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san really got into Maskuma.
[14:22] Chiyo
    I-It was so cute, I couldn't hold back.
[14:26] Chiyo
    Thanks to that, I was able to...
[14:52] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Maskuma!
[14:59] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I don't want to kill!
[15:03] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I want to collect limited-edition
    Maskuma collectibles!
[15:07] Chiyo
    If I hadn't found Maskuma,
[15:09] Chiyo
    I wouldn't have been able to make
    the decision to leave the clan.
[15:12] Sekine
    Maskuma was the reason?!
[15:17] Tsubasa
    We all still have ours, too.
[15:20] Chiyo
    Yes.
[15:21] Sekine
    Indeed.
[15:23] Rikka
    Of course!
[15:25] Sekine
    Colonel, you weren't there at the time.
[15:27] Tsubasa
    I remember how Rikka lost hers at the
    school camp, and we all tried to find it.
[15:32] Sekine
    The Colonel fabricated that memory.
[15:35] Chiyo
    I remember making those
    dress-up dolls for Christmas.
[15:39] Sekine
    And that one.
[15:41] Rikka
    We all wore matching ones to the
    Glory to the Supreme Leader Meeting.
[15:45] Chiyo
    Oh, I remember that!
[15:47] Tsubasa
    Yeah, we did.
[15:48] Chiyo
    We ate Hot Pot for the Revolution.
[15:51] Tsubasa
    Oh yeah, that Hot Pot for
    the Revolution was great.
[15:53] Sekine
    All of that is fake.
[15:56] Sekine
    What's a Hot Pot for the Revolution, anyway?
[15:59] Sekine
    Huh? Wait a minute...
[16:01] Sekine
    When did the Colonel appear, anyway?
[16:04] Narrator
    Sekine is aware that she
    has been brainwashed,
[16:06] Narrator
    but she can't be certain which memories
    are fake and which are real.
[16:11] Sekine
    Oh well, I'll be all right. Since...
[16:15] Sekine
    my heart is always with the teachings
    of the Supreme Leader!
[16:21] Narrator
    The brainwashing is really strong.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[16:24] Sekine
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
SIGN    Drama Club
[16:27] Rikka
    Hmm? What's this?
[16:30] Tsubasa
    Oh, this party cracker?
    It's a prop we used for club activities.
[16:36] Tsubasa
    We have so many left over.
[16:41] Rikka
    Ch-Chiyo-san! I'm sorry!
[16:47] Tsubasa
    She's crying?!
[16:48] Chiyo
    Oh, everyone... A surprise?!
[16:54] Chiyo
    Just remembering my birthday
    would have been enough!
[16:59] Chiyo
    And yet you went and planned
    a surprise party...
[17:05] Chiyo
    I must be the happiest person in the world!
[17:09] Rikka & Tsubasa & Sekine
    Happy birthday!
SIGN    Birthday Surprise Successful!!
[17:11] Narrator
    "Birthday Surprise Successful!"
    They decided to just run with it.
[17:15] Sekine
    No, but, what are we going to do?
    Nobody's prepared anything—
[17:19] Rikka
    A present from me to you!
[17:22] Sekine
    Colonel? When did you get that ready?!
[17:25] Rikka
    A super-special...
[17:30] Rikka
    used eraser!
[17:33] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan... How...
[17:39] Chiyo
    How did you know what
    I most wanted right now?!
[17:48] Sekine
    B-Brainwashing?!
[17:49] Sekine
    The Colonel messed with Chiyo-san's brain
[17:52] Sekine
    to make a used eraser
    the thing she wanted most!
[17:56] Chiyo
    An eraser? A writing utensil.
[18:00] Chiyo
    E-Eraser!
[18:02] Sekine
    N-Not fair...
[18:04] Sekine
    Or rather, if you're going to go that far,
[18:06] Sekine
    why not just delete her desire
    to have her birthday celebrated?
[18:10] Sekine
    What's Tsubasa going to do?
[18:12] Sekine
    Should we both grovel for forgiveness?
SIGN    Conscience
[18:17] Tsubasa
    Uh, oh. I...
[18:24] Tsubasa
    I bought a present...
[18:27] Tsubasa
    I just wanted to do the minimum
    needed to come off as a girl,
[18:29] Tsubasa
    I didn't expect to be required to provide
    an element of surprise as well...
SIGN    Conscience
[18:33] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, I'm sorry.
[18:35] Tsubasa
    I got you something really ordinary.
[18:38] Chiyo
    Thank you very much. May I open it?
[18:41] Tsubasa
    Of course.
[18:42] Chiyo
    Wow, how cute!
SIGN    Conscience
[18:45] Tsubasa
    If there's anything else you want me to do
    for you as a birthday present...
[18:49] Chiyo
    Oh, no, this is quite enough.
[18:51] Tsubasa
    No, please, do it for me.
[18:53] Chiyo
    Well, if you insist...
[18:55] Chiyo
    May I play with your hair again?
[19:00] Tsubasa
    Huh?!
[19:02] Chiyo
    That setup we did for your midsummer
    outfit looked very nice on you.
[19:06] Tsubasa
    If that's what it takes to make her happy...
[19:10] Chiyo
    It's wonderful, Tsubasa-san.
SIGN    Mirror
[19:15] Sekine
    Oh, no. That's the "you're
    up next, Sekine-san" look.
[19:20] Sekine
    Y-Yikes...
[19:23] Sekine
    We have no other choice.
[19:24] Sekine
    Are we doing it?
[19:25] Sekine
    Yes.
[19:27] Narrator
    By "it," Sekine is referring to her ability
[19:29] Narrator
    to unlock control over her psychic powers.
[19:32] Narrator
    It is called "Mistress Time."
[19:35] Narrator
    However, with great power comes great cost.
[19:40] Sekine
    As long as I stay in Mistress Time, I... I...
[19:47] Sekine
    I gain weight rapidly!
SIGN    Psychokinesis
[19:54] Sekine
    I'm going to use this bag-shaped drone
    to write a message in the sky!
[20:03] Tsubasa
    Whoa.
[20:04] Rikka
    Great!
[20:05] Chiyo
    Wow.
[20:06] Sekine
    Happy birthday!
[20:09] Chiyo
    What a beautiful message!
[20:14] Sekine
    At least I was able to keep it at a minimum—
[20:16] Chiyo
    Sekine-san.
[20:17] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san.
[20:18] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan.
[20:20] Chiyo
    Thank you all so very much.
[20:23] Chiyo
    I've never had my birthday
    celebrated in this way before.
[20:28] Chiyo
    To be able to attend this school
    and become friends with you
[20:32] Chiyo
    is more than I ever could have wished for.
[20:35] Chiyo
    I'm so happy.
[20:37] Sekine
    That was a lot of work, but if it
    made her that happy, I'm glad I—
[20:40] Chiyo
    So, Sekine-san, if it's all right,
    could you also write this in the sky?
[20:46] Sekine
    Huh?
[20:47] Chiyo
    That we'll remain friends forever,
    no matter how many years pass.
[21:04] Sekine
    Here we go!
[21:15] Rikka
    Always...
[21:17] Tsubasa
    Friends...
[21:33] Narrator
    The great cost of Mistress Time.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Rikka
    The Space Octopus vs Maskuma
    showdown was awesome!
[23:12] Sekine
    Did they fight...?
[23:14] Chiyo
    Next episode has two parts, "The Maskuma
    Typhoon Begins" and "Hold Your Skirts."
[23:19] Chiyo
    Look forward to it!
SIGN    #04 - Wish Upon a Star
[23:20] Sekine
    Those are all lies!
[23:22] Tsubasa
    No, there is one truth in there.