E2 - First Kiss
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Rentaro
Yeah, can you believe it?
[00:03] Rentaro
After a rejection streak that hit 100,
[00:06] Rentaro
I now have a girlfriend
for the first time in my life!
[00:10] Rentaro
I'm also about to walk to school
with her like I've always dreamed about!
[00:14] Rentaro
And get this...
[00:17] Rentaro
There are two of them!
[00:19] Hakari
Good morning, Rentaro-kun.
[00:22] Karane
Wait, were you just talking to that pole?!
SIGN The 100 Girlfriends
Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN Crossing
SIGN Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN B-Come Tast-E
SIGN I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN To Rentaro-kun
You might think this is all a bit overblown,
but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
-Hakari
P.S. I believe my figure has become
more shapely these days.
I'm including a photograph
I took recently along with this letter.
Enjoy <3
SIGN To Rentaro!
You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
Promise me you will!!
Don't ask why! Just do it!
I made too many side dishes, is all!
(Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
- Inda Karane
SIGN To Rentaro-kun
It feels a little strange writing to you
when we see each other all the time.
But I'm much better at expressing
my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
Thank you truly for always looking out for me
and respecting my feelings.
I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
during lunch break today? If you do,
then I would love to have lunch with you.
-Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN When a > 0 and b > 0,
the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
= 2x Happiness
= Nano
Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
(a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN Hngh
[01:56] Rentaro
Good morning, you two.
[01:57] Karane
Were you just talking to that pole?
[02:01] Rentaro
I'm just on cloud nine
after getting my first girlfriend.
[02:05] Karane
If...
[02:06] Karane
If you wanna talk to someone so badly,
[02:09] Karane
I'm alwa... wa..
[02:10] Karane
Wacha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
[02:13] Karane
Y-You are already dead, okay?!
[02:15] Rentaro
Did you attack my pressure points?!
[02:19] Hakari
Such a beautiful day, don't you think?
[02:23] Rentaro
Y-Yeah. Such nice weather.
SIGN Smooth
[02:30] Rentaro
S-So smooth! So tiny!
[02:30] Rentaro
This is a girl's hand!
[02:33] Rentaro
So soft! So warm!
[02:34] Hakari
I read in a book that 90% of men
enjoy locking hands with their partners.
[02:35] Hakari
So big, so bony!
[02:39] Hakari
This is a boy's hand!
[02:42] Hakari
It's such great weather today.
It's so strong and so masculine.
[02:46] Karane
What the heck kinda weather is that?!
[02:48] Rentaro
Inda-san, let's do it, too.
[02:50] Rentaro
Gimme your hand.
[02:54] Karane
H-Hmph! I'm not too pleased about this,
[02:57] Karane
but I don't wanna miss out on zapping you
with some stray static electricity, so I'll live.
[03:02] Rentaro
Extra, extra. We have a zingdere, too.
[03:07] Karane
Gah, what is with this boy? I love him!
[03:10] Rentaro
I have never been happier in my life!
[03:13] Hakari
I love him...
I really, really, really love him!
SIGN Hngh <3
SIGN Hngh <3
SIGN Hngh <3
[03:17] Rentarokaranehakari
Love, love, love...
[03:17] Karane
This weather's too good for its own good!
[03:19] Rentaro
Yeah, it's lovely.
[03:21] Hakari
It's perfect weather.
[03:23] Rentaro
Yeah, you couldn't ask for a better day.
[03:27] Oldlady
Kids these days
really care about the weather, huh?
[03:33] Rentaro
By the way, Hanazono-san, Inda-san...
[03:36] Rentaro
Hmm? What's wrong, Hanazono-san?
[03:40] Hakari
Well, it's just...
[03:42] Hakari
I'd love it if you could call me
by my first name.
SIGN hubba hubba
[03:46] Sign
abbuh abbuh
[03:46] Rentaro
Oh, y-your name?
[03:49] Rentaro
H... H... Hakari-san.
[03:53] Hakari
Yes, Rentaro-kun!
[03:58] Karane
M-Me, too...
[04:01] Karane
R-R-R-R-R-Re...
[04:04] Karane
Rentaro!
[04:05] Rentaro
Yes?
[04:06] Karane
I-It's not like I was talking to you!
[04:08] Rentaro
Then, whomst?!
[04:12] Rentaro
Karane.
[04:14] Hakari
I would prefer just "Hakari," too!
[04:16] Rentaro
Huh? O-Okay...
[04:18] Rentaro
Hakari.
[04:20] Hakari
Yes. Asdkfasdfa.
[04:22] Hakari
Rentaro-kun.
[04:23] Rentaro
Hakari.
[04:24] Karane
R-Rentaro!
[04:26] Rentaro
Karane!
[04:27] Karane
Rentaro!
[04:28] Rentaro
Karane...
[04:29] Hakari
Rentaro-kun.
[04:30] Rentaro
Hakari!
[04:31] Karane
Rentaro...
[04:32] Rentaro
Karane!
[04:33] Guy A
The heck? Are they doing a roll call?
[04:33] Hakari
Rentaro-kun...
[04:34] Rentaro
Hakari...
[04:35] Viceprincipal
Hold it!
[04:37] Guy B
I'm really sorry! Please, have mercy!
[04:44] Hakari
It's her!
[04:46] Karane
The vice principal?!
[04:47] Rentaro
Hmm... vice principal...
[04:48] Rentaro
Vice principal?!
[04:49] Hakari
Yes. She's infamously strict
about school rules.
[04:53] Hakari
If she catches you running in the halls...
[04:55] Karane
...she'll chase you to the ends of the earth.
[05:04] Karane
And if she catches you...
[05:06] Guy B
No...
[05:07] Viceprincipal
Hope you reflect on this deeply!
[05:08] Guy B
No!
[05:11] Guy B
Eek! Please no!
[05:15] Karane
...she'll French kiss you.
[05:18] Rentaro
Emotional damage!
[05:20] Hakari
No, it hurts a lot physically, too.
[05:26] Hakari
She's a former star sprinter,
so nobody has ever escaped her kiss attack.
[05:26] Viceprincipal
Lickity lick lick!
[05:31] Karane
They call her "Sonic the Sketchhag."
[05:36] Rentaro
I had no idea such a monster
lurked in our school.
[05:39] Hakari
B-By the way, Rentaro-kun,
[05:42] Hakari
have you ever k-kissed anyone before?
[05:44] Karane
Flinch.
[05:45] Rentaro
Huh? Nope.
[05:47] Rentaro
You two are my first-ever girlfriends.
[05:50] Hakari & Karane
That means the early bird...
[05:54] Hakari & Karane
gets the first kiss!
[05:57] Hakari
I must have it!
[05:58] Karane
It will be mine!
SIGN Lunch Break
[06:02] Hakari
There's nobody around.
[06:05] Rentaro
It's only early spring,
so it's still a bit chilly.
[06:09] Karane
There's a kitty here.
[06:11] Hakari
Which means nobody's watching.
[06:15] Hakari
Hey, I cooked these egg rolls.
[06:19] Hakari
Would you like to try them?
[06:20] Rentaro
May I? I'd love to!
[06:22] Hakari
Okay!
[06:24] Hakari
Here, say aah.
[06:28] Rentaro
Aah.
[06:32] Hakari
Wh-What do you think?
[06:36] Rentaro
It's the best in the galaxy!
[06:37] Karane
Wha?!
[06:38] Hakari
I'm so glad!
[06:39] Karane
I-I happened to bake some cookies, too.
[06:42] Rentaro
Really?
[06:43] Karane
Not for you or anything, but...
[06:46] Karane
Come on, open up!
[06:48] Rentaro
Aah.
[06:50] Karane
C-Cookie!
[06:50] Rentaro
More like cook-eye!
SIGN Splornk
[06:58] Rentaro
It's the best in the galaxy!
[07:00] Karane
How galaxy-brained are you?!
[07:06] Hakari
Since we're on the topic of snacks,
[07:07] Hakari
I brought some Bocky, too.
[07:12] Hakari
Huh?
[07:13] Hakari
The ends are all snapped off!
We can't hold these in our hands!
[07:17] Rentaro
How does that even happen?!
[07:19] Hakari
I'd hoped to feed you these, too...
[07:23] Rentaro
Hakari.
[07:24] Hakari
Oh, but I could just hold it in a way
that doesn't dirty my hands.
[07:28] Hakari
Rentaro-kun, say aah.
[07:30] Rentaro
Aah.
[07:34] Rentaro
That's her game?!
[07:36] Rentaro
H-Her face is so close to mine! So cute!
[07:39] Rentaro
Cute, cute, cute, cute!
[07:41] Rentaro
Her cutey-cute face is so closey-close!
[07:44] Hakari
This is making me want to have some myself.
[07:48] Rentaro
The game is afoot!
[07:53] Karane
L-Let me in!
SIGN Splornk
[07:55] Rentaro
What does she have against my eyes?!
[08:02] Hakari
No!
[08:04] Hakari
The Bocky snapped in half!
[08:05] Rentaro
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
[08:08] Karane
Ah!
[08:09] Karane
Do you have a cold?
Your eyes are all red, too.
[08:12] Rentaro
No, that's because...
[08:14] Karane
Better pass it on with your mouth.
[08:17] Karane
They say you cure a cold by passing it on!
[08:19] Rentaro
That's the ace striker of Myth FC!
The Messi, the Ronaldo!
[08:22] Rentaro
Wait, her face is so close!
[08:24] Rentaro
And cute, cute, cute, cute!
[08:26] Rentaro
She's gonna score a hat-trick on me!
[08:29] Karane
Gah!
[08:30] Hakari
Wait! We can't be sure he has a cold yet!
[08:33] Karane
Bwang...
[08:34] Hakari
Let's check your temperature first.
[08:35] Karane
Was that soft? Hard?
An unidentified sensation!
[08:38] Hakari
In my family, we check with both our
foreheads and our lips. Please understand.
[08:44] Rentaro
A custom so outlandish, all I'm seeing is red!
[08:46] Karane
I disagree! Mouth-to-mouth is the best way!
[08:50] Karane
So pass out already!
[08:52] Rentaro
Have you both lost your marbles?!
[08:55] Hakari
What are you doing?!
[08:57] Karane
Bweh!
[09:02] Rentaro
Can we calm down? What's gotten into you?
[09:06] Rentaro
Wait, are you two trying to kiss me?
[09:10] Karane
You wha? I-I-I-I-It's not like that!
[09:12] Rentaro
You're not an open book,
you're the whole library!
[09:14] Hakari
Nothing stays secret with you around!
[09:17] Rentaro
They went so far to try to
kiss a guy like me...
[09:21] Rentaro
That's so sweet!
[09:23] Rentaro
You could've just asked.
[09:25] Rentaro
I wanted to... uh, kiss you two myself.
[09:28] Hakari
But...
[09:30] Hakari
The moment kissing came up,
[09:32] Hakari
we'd have to decide who would be first.
[09:36] Karane
And...
[09:37] Karane
You decided to make a move
before it came down to that, right?
[09:40] Hakari
P-Pot, meet kettle!
[09:43] Rentaro
I see. So that's why you were fighting.
[09:47] Rentaro
Don't worry. I've got this.
[09:50] Rentaro
I have a plan.
[09:55] Rentaro
I cooked up the perfect plan
just in case this happened!
[10:01] Karane
Yesterday? The same day we started dating?
SIGN Really?
[10:03] Rentaro
Well, I was so excited imagining
our future together that I couldn't sleep.
[10:09] Rentaro
I played out one scenario
after another to figure out
[10:12] Rentaro
how to make you two
the happiest girls in the world.
[10:16] Hakari & Karane
Guh! I love him!
SIGN Hngh <3
[10:20] Rentaro
Anyway, for this first kiss problem,
[10:23] Rentaro
we'll solve it by not knowing
who got the first place.
[10:26] Hakarikarane
Who was first?
SIGN Who was first?
[10:27] Sign
Dunno!!
[10:27] Rentaro
Dunno!
[10:29] Rentaro
That way, you'll both be equally
likely to have had my first kiss.
[10:34] Rentaro
And I can think of you both
equally as my first kiss.
[10:39] Karane
How do we even avoid
knowing who went first?
[10:44] Hakari
If we did it in different places,
Rentaro-kun would know.
[10:49] Rentaro
That's where these come in.
[10:51] Karane
Music players...
[10:53] Hakari
And dice? Eye masks?
[10:55] Rentaro
First, we all take one of each.
[10:58] Rentaro
Next, we decide where you two will stand.
[11:02] Rentaro
I'll turn around and play some music.
[11:06] Rentaro
When you press play on these three players,
[11:09] Rentaro
they start playing My First Kiss
at max volume on repeat.
[11:13] Karane
Why that song?
[11:15] Rentaro
Because it's our first kiss.
[11:17] Rentaro
That way, I won't be able to notice
your movements or the noises you make.
[11:23] Rentaro
Next, you two roll the dice
to decide who stands where.
[11:27] Rentaro
Let's say the bigger number
stands on the right.
[11:30] Rentaro
Once you're ready, you send me a message.
SIGN Success
in Love
[11:34] Rentaro
I'll roll the dice and count
to the random number I get.
[11:39] Rentaro
Then I roll a single die
and put on my eye mask.
SIGN Odd
[11:43] Rentaro
If this is odd, I start with the right.
With the left if even.
[11:47] Rentaro
I walk towards you two
and kiss you both in turn.
[11:47] Sign
Even
[11:52] Rentaro
Because you would've waited the random
number of seconds I counted earlier,
[11:57] Rentaro
you won't be able to figure out
who was first or second.
[12:01] Rentaro
Once I've kissed you, I return to my spot,
[12:04] Rentaro
count to the random number I roll once again,
[12:06] Rentaro
and send you a message.
[12:09] Rentaro
You throw your dice to decide your spots again,
[12:12] Rentaro
which will make it impossible to know
who was originally where.
[12:16] Rentaro
Lastly, I'll take off the earbuds
and eye mask...
[12:19] Rentaro
Leaving only the joyous memory of sharing
our first kiss with the person we love.
[12:26] Hakari
Amazing! The most perfect of plans!
[12:29] Hakari
That was straight out of Liar's Game!
[12:31] Rentaro
Aw...
[12:31] Karane
H-Hold it!
[12:33] Karane
That's a prime cheating opportunity!
[12:36] Karane
The other two would have no idea!
[12:38] Rentaro
Exactly.
[12:39] Rentaro
But I've got a special solution
to top it all off.
[12:42] Karane
What solution?
[12:45] Rentaro
We all pinky promise not to cheat.
[12:48] Karane
Logic stocks are crashing! Sell now!
[12:50] Karane
A-Are you stupid?
[12:51] Karane
How are we supposed to enforce that?
[12:54] Rentaro
But... why would anyone break a pinky promise?
[12:56] Rentaro
You'd have to stick a needle in your eye.
[12:59] Rentaro
You'd lose your eyesight.
[13:00] Karane
Too pure!
[13:02] Rentaro
Cross my heart and hope to die!
Stick a needle in my eye!
[13:07] Rentaro
But it's okay if it's you two.
I'll still sacrifice my eyes!
[13:11] Rentaro
Pinky promise!
SIGN Hngh
[13:12] Hakari & Karane
I swear on my life,
this promise will not be broken!
[13:15] Rentaro
All right, let's give it a shot.
[13:18] Hakari
This feels almost illegal.
[13:23] Rentaro
Even.
[13:24] Rentaro
So start with the left.
[13:26] Rentaro
They should be standing...
[13:29] Rentaro
somewhere around that area.
[13:31] Rentaro
Oh, but I won't know how far to lean in
if I can't tell exactly where they are.
[13:37] Rentaro
I don't want to headbutt anyone.
[13:40] Rentaro
I'll start by putting my hands
on her shoulders...
[13:45] Rentaro
This is definitely Hakari!
[13:47] Narrator
The logic behind this conclusion
[13:49] Narrator
will be kept confidential,
lest we shame Karane-san.
[13:54] Hakari
I don't mind, Rentaro-kun.
[13:57] Hakari
You can go even further.
[13:59] Rentaro
S-Stop that.
[14:00] Rentaro
I'm serious about us,
more than anyone in the world.
[14:05] Rentaro
Sorry, Karane. We have to start over.
[14:08] Karane
Start over? What went wrong?
[14:11] Karane
No, seriously, what happened?!
[14:38] Karane
Wha?
[14:40] Karane
No, wait!
[14:41] Karane
Rentaro... What are you...
[14:45] Karane
No way!
[14:50] Karane
You sick perv!
[14:58] Karane
You colossal jerk!
[14:59] Karane
Tell me before you go there!
[15:01] Karane
I need time to prepare!
[15:10] Rentaro
Sorry, Hakari.
[15:11] Rentaro
We have to start over.
[15:13] Hakari
Rentaro-kun?
[15:14] Hakari
Okay, something definitely went down!
[15:17] Rentaro
A-Anyway, let's try and try until we succeed!
[15:31] Rentaro
Wh-Who knew kissing was so complicated?
[15:35] Karane
They make it look so easy in movies and on TV.
[15:39] Karane
Ugh.
[15:40] Karane
I knew this stupid plan
was never gonna work out.
SIGN I'm so pathetic
[15:44] Hakari
Rentaro-kun's plan is perfect.
[15:46] Hakari
The problem is with the people involved.
[15:50] Karane
Huh?
[15:51] Karane
What? Are you saying it's my fault?
[15:53] Hakari
I'm not pointing any fingers.
[15:56] Karane
What kind of kissing
were you two doing, anyway?
[16:00] Karane
Why'd you always
come out of it red as tomatoes?
[16:00] Rentaro
C-Calm down!
[16:03] Hakari
If that's how we're doing it,
[16:05] Hakari
why does he keep getting
more and more injured with you?
[16:08] Hakari
Stop hurting my Rentaro-kun!
[16:11] Karane
Excuse me? What do you mean, your Rentaro-kun?
[16:14] Karane
Rentaro's mine!
[16:15] Hakari
Mine!
[16:17] Karane
No, mine!
[16:17] Rentaro
Stop it!
[16:19] Rentaro
Don't fight. I'm the one to blame here.
[16:24] Rentaro
It's all because I still
haven't had my first kiss.
[16:28] Rentaro
Because I'm a useless, inexperienced boyfriend!
[16:32] Karane
Rentaro!
[16:32] Hakari
Rentaro-kun?
[16:35] Karane
Wait, Rentaro!
[16:37] Hakari
Where are you going?
[16:40] Rentaro
Vice Principal!
[16:43] Viceprincipal
Who'd you wanna call? Old Spinster!
[16:48] Viceprincipal
Running? In my halls?
[16:52] Hakari
No, Rentaro-kun will be...
[16:54] Viceprincipal
I sentence you to my whip of love!
[17:02] Viceprincipal
Got you! Prepare for your smacking!
[17:07] Rentaro
She's cackling like some early-game monster!
[17:12] Karane
Get away from Rentaro, you freaky old bag!
[17:15] Karane
The Iron Shriek?
[17:17] Karane
No, Karane?!
[17:19] Viceprincipal
Camel clutching your teachers
is against the rules!
[17:22] Karane
Yeah, and kissing your students
is against the law!
[17:29] Hakari
Look, an inspector from the Board of Education!
[17:32] Hakari
Please come quick!
[17:34] Hakari
You can get a red-handed bonus
on catching this perverted teacher now!
[17:39] Karane
You okay, Rentaro?
[17:41] Rentaro
Karane...
[17:48] Viceprincipal
I can't lose this job.
[17:50] Viceprincipal
I need all the cash I can get to keep
smooching hot guys at host clubs!
[17:57] Viceprincipal
Found one.
[17:58] Guy 2
No!
[17:59] Karane
Rentaro!
[18:00] Hakari
Are you okay?
[18:01] Rentaro
Y-You two...
[18:03] Hakari
Why would you do something so rash?
[18:09] Rentaro
I love you both so much.
[18:12] Rentaro
And I know this is selfish,
[18:15] Rentaro
but I want my girlfriends to get along.
[18:19] Rentaro
So...
[18:21] Rentaro
If my first kiss
causes you two to fight over it,
[18:25] Rentaro
I'd rather throw it in the trash!
SIGN Trash
[18:31] Hakari
If you're going to waste it
on some trash who doesn't even like you...
[18:36] Karane
I'd much rather let Hakari
have your first kiss instead!
[18:37] Hakari
I'd much rather let Karane-san
have your first kiss instead!
[18:44] Rentaro
R-Really? I thought...
[18:47] Rentaro
Your rival in love was the absolute
last person you'd want to have it.
[18:52] Hakari
Of course, there's a part of me
that feels that way.
[18:56] Karane
But it's just obvious
that she really loves you, too...
[19:02] Hakari
From watching Karane-san.
[19:02] Karane
From looking at Hakari.
[19:07] Karane
H-Hey, what's this about?
[19:11] Rentaro
What the heck?
[19:12] Rentaro
I had you two all wrong!
[19:14] Hakari
I wub him!
[19:16] Karane
I'm so habby!
[19:18] Rentaro
In that case, it might just work.
[19:22] Karane
We all kiss at the same time?!
[19:25] Rentaro
Yep. All three of us at once.
[19:28] Rentaro
It was the first thing I thought of, actually.
[19:32] Rentaro
Just, you know...
[19:34] Rentaro
You two wouldn't just be kissing me,
but also each other.
[19:41] Rentaro
So I figured you wouldn't be up for it
if you were at loggerheads.
[19:46] Rentaro
But it'll be okay. I believe in you two.
[19:49] Rentaro
No, I believe in us!
[19:51] Karane
Don't get all hype by yourself...
[20:13] Rentaro
Sorry, this is...
[20:16] Rentaro
Totally some kind of UFO-summoning ritual!
[20:22] Narrator
And so, after many trials and tribulations,
[20:27] Narrator
the three of them
successfully shared their first kiss.
[20:33] Narrator
And they also summoned a UFO... maybe?
SIGN The Next Day
[20:38] Rentaro
What are you looking for in the library?
SIGN LIBRARY
[20:40] Hakari
A cookbook.
[20:42] Hakari
You seemed to like
the egg rolls I made yesterday,
[20:46] Hakari
and it made me want to try
cooking more things for you.
[20:51] Karane
F-Fancy that!
[20:53] Karane
I was just thinking about
reading up on cooking myself!
[20:59] Karane
I-It's not like I'm doing it
for you or anything, okay?!
[21:02] Rentaro
I haven't said anything!
[21:03] Karane
What's this, Recipes that Show
the Way To Your Man's Stomach?
SIGN Recipes that Show the Way To
Your Man's Stomach
SIGN Recipes that Show the Way To
Your Man's Stomach
[21:08] Hakari
No fair, Karane-san. Let me see it, too.
[21:12] Karane
Finders keepers.
[21:14] Hakari
Come on. It won't kill you.
[21:16] Karane
Find your own book!
[21:18] Rentaro
Play nice, you two.
[21:20] Rentaro
You've already shared a kiss and all.
[21:23] Karane
Th-That was your stupid idea!
[21:26] Hakari
W-W-We only went along with it!
[21:27] Rentaro
I'm just kidding!
[21:31] Rentaro
I should see if there's anything good, too.
SIGN Love, Taiyaki,
and Me
[21:37] Rentaro
Love?
SIGN Krrrack!!
[21:58] Rentaro
That zing just now...
[22:01] Rentaro
Is she my soulmate?!
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