E11 - Even If It Kills Me

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    BEFORE
[00:00] Narrator
    Last time on* 100 Girlfriends*...
[00:03] (Flashback) Hahari
    Aijo Rentaro...
[00:05] (Flashback) Hahari
    I will make that five-timing maggot
    pay dearly for his sins.
SIGN    AFTER
[00:10] (Flashback) Hahari
    Rentaro-chan! Please go out with me!
[00:14] Narrator
    Recap over!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[02:07] Karane
    What the hell did she just blurt out
    to her daughter's boyfriend?
[02:10] Karane
    She must be insane.
SIGN    ba-dump ba-dump
[02:14] Rentaro
    Well, uh... um...
SIGN    ba-dump ba-dump
[02:17] Karane
    Are you insane?! Quit getting all lovestruck!
[02:20] Karane
    That's Hakari's mother!
    Your girlfriend's mother!
[02:23] Karane
    There is no way!
[02:24] Karane
    No way, right?!
[02:26] Hahari
    D-D-Don't get the wrong idea!
[02:28] Hahari
    That was simply a joke!
[02:30] Hahari
    Yes, a mom joke!
[02:33] Karane
    No idea what she's on about.
[02:35] Karane
    Is this what a rich person's mother is like?
[02:38] Hahari
    Ahem. Anyhow.
[02:40] Hahari
    I will never allow
    your relationship with Hakari.
[02:45] Rentaro
    And I will never give up on her.
[02:49] Rentaro
    I swore to make her happy!
[02:55] Hahari
    So you're sticking to your empty words.
[03:08] Hahari
    This custom-made lie detector can
    reveal even the slightest lie without fail.
[03:14] Lie
    Vrm.
[03:15] Hahari
    Should it reveal
    how fake your "faithfulness" is,
[03:18] Hahari
    you will exit Hakari's life for good.
[03:21] Rentaro
    So you're saying I'll get to show you
    my feelings for Hakari are real.
[03:27] Rentaro
    But...
[03:28] Rentaro
    You'll first have to prove to me
    that this device is trustworthy.
[03:33] Hahari
    You have a point.
[03:38] Karane
    Wait, why me?!
[03:40] Hahari
    Using one of my own people
    wouldn't be very convincing, would it?
[03:45] Karane
    F-Fine.
[03:49] Karane
    But it's not like I'm doing it
    for you or anything, okay?
[03:52] Rentaro
    That just makes it sound like
    you wanna try out the lie detector.
[03:56] Hahari
    Well, Inda-san, here is your first question.
[03:59] Hahari
    What cup size are you?
[04:01] Karane
    Do you have a gutter in your brain?!
[04:03] Hahari
    Obviously, we have to choose questions
    we can verify on sight.
[04:08] Karane
    Yeah, but why that one?!
[04:10] Hahari
    Just hurry up and answer.
    We don't have time to play around.
[04:14] Karane
    I-I'm a B-cup. Almost a C.
[04:18] Karane
    Happy now?
[04:20] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[04:23] Hahari
    Like I said, it reveals even the slightest lie.
[04:30] Karane
    I'm a B-cup! Just a plain ol' B.
[04:32] Lie
    Still kind of a lie.
[04:34] Karane
    I'm a B, nearly an A! You stupid robot!
[04:37] Rentaro
    Careful, it must be expensive!
[04:39] Lie
    True! True! True!
[04:42] Karane
    Hmph! See what happens when I get serious?
[04:45] Rentaro
    Uh, it's not a punching machine.
[04:48] Hahari
    All right, next question.
[04:49] Hahari
    Do you love Aijo-kun?
[04:52] Karane
    Seriously, what is with these questions?!
[04:54] Hahari
    It's a perfectly normal question for a couple.
    Why must you yell each time?
[04:58] Rentaro
    Karane's a tsundere, you see.
[05:01] Rentaro
    But that's what makes her so goshdanged cute.
[05:04] Hahari
    Nobody asked.
[05:06] Karane
    Oh, whatever. Let's just get this over with.
[05:08] Karane
    Yeah, I love him.
[05:10] Lie
    Lies! Lies!
[05:12] Karane
    Rentaro?!
[05:13] Rentaro
    This is a bad dream...
    just a minor nightmare.
[05:16] Rentaro
    Wake ublub-blub-blub...
[05:18] Karane
    He's trying to escape reality and life!
[05:21] Karane
    Don't believe this crap. Of course I...
[05:25] (Flashback) Karane
    I'm a B-cup! Just a plain ol' B.
[05:28] (Flashback) Lie
    Still kind of a lie.
[05:31] Karane
    I love him! I love him a lot!
[05:33] Lie
    Lies! Lies!
[05:36] Karane
    I-I love him heaps!
[05:38] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[05:40] Karane
    I love the shit outta him! I love, love,
    love him like you won't believe!
[05:43] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[05:50] Rentaro
    I see Granny blowing kisses from
    the other side of the River Styx...
[05:55] Karane
    I love Rentaro the most
    in the whole wide world!
[06:00] Karane
    I really, really, really, really,
    really love him!
[06:03] Lie
    True! True! True! True! Trrrrrrrrrrrrr!
[06:07] Rentaro
    Karane!
[06:08] Lie
    True! True! True!
[06:08] Karane
    How dare this stupid machine
    mess with my dignity...
[06:12] Rentaro
    Are you okay, Karane? Can you stand?
[06:17] Rentaro
    Me, too.
[06:19] Rentaro
    I also really, really, really, really,
    really love Karane most in the world!
[06:23] Hahari
    What are you doing?!
[06:23] Lie
    True! True! True!
[06:25] Rentaro
    Sorry. I couldn't hold back
    the tidal waves of my love.
[06:29] Hahari
    This is not the time.
[06:31] Hahari
    Anyway, surely you believe
    the lie detector is trustworthy now.
[06:36] Hahari
    Then we will begin.
    We'll see how real your feelings for Hakari are.
[06:41] Hahari
    The trial to show who this pest is for all.
SIGN    Special Report
[06:47] Narrator
    As the following events play out exactly
    as our viewers might expect,
[06:47] Sign
    °The following report will be a condensed version of the events.
[06:55] Narrator
    a condensed version will be shown.
[06:58] Rentaro
    I'll make her happy, even if it kills me!
[07:00] Rentaro
    Hakari's happiness over my life!
[07:02] Rentaro
    I will die for Hakari!
[07:04] Rentaro
    I really, really, really, really,
    really love Hakari the most in the world!
[07:05] Lie
    True! True! True!
[07:08] Lie
    It's all too true!
[07:12] Hahari
    Impossible.
[07:13] Hahari
    How could this embodiment of
    faithfulness also be a five-timer?!
[07:17] Rentaro
    So, do you believe how much I love Hakari now?
[07:20] Hahari
    A-A lie detector is but a machine.
[07:23] Hahari
    How could I ever trust it?
[07:26] Karane
    Oh, no, you freakin' don't!
[07:28] Karane
    Not after taking my dignity
    and eating up all this runtime!
[07:32] Hahari
    Not my problem. We can skip
    the ending credits or something.
[07:36] Rentaro
    But they made a special ending
    just for this episode!
[07:39] Hahari
    Whoa, spoiler alert!
[07:42] Mei
    We have trouble, ma'am!
[07:44] Mei
    Lady Hakari's about to
    throw herself out the window!
[07:52] Karane
    Nobody move!
[07:55] Karane
    Or else this weak little neck goes snap!
[07:57] Rentaro
    Karane...
[07:59] Rentaro
    D-Do not move a finger!
[08:01] Rentaro
    Necks are like Bocky sticks to her!
    She'll actually do it!
[08:07] Karane
    Why are you the most freaked out by this?!
[08:09] Karane
    Now's your chance! Go grab that moron!
[08:13] Karane
    And run as far as you can!
[08:15] Rentaro
    But what about you?
[08:17] Karane
    Hmph.
[08:19] Karane
    You'll come back for me someday, right?
[08:22] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Could you please wait for us?
[08:23] (Flashback) Karane
    ...if we'll even see you again at all!
[08:26] (Flashback) Karane
    There's no way we can just sit around
    forever and stay in love with you!
[08:31] Karane
    You're such an idiot.
[08:34] Karane
    Of course I can wait for you forever!
[08:38] Rentaro
    Karane!
[08:39] Rentaro
    Thanks!
[08:41] Hahari
    Wait!
[08:42] Karane
    You're not going anywhere.
[08:44] Hahari
    Let me go!
[08:45] Hahari
    Hakari... I'm coming for you!
[08:47] Karane
    Hey, I really will snap your neck, okay?!
[08:49] Hahari
    Bring it on!
[08:52] Hahari
    You'll see that you don't want to
    mess with a mother's love!
[08:57] Security
    M-Ma'am.
[09:00] Karane
    If I let her go now
[09:02] Karane
    and she stops the two of them from escaping,
[09:04] Karane
    we'll never share a moment like that again!
[09:11] Karane
    This is no time to be freaking out.
[09:14] Karane
    A mother's love, my ass.
[09:17] Karane
    That's rich, when you're ignoring
    Hakari's feelings like that.
[09:19] Karane
    You're the one who'll see!
[09:21] Karane
    You don't wanna mess with a best friend's love!
[09:29] Hakari
    Don't come any closer!
[09:36] Security
    W-We can't risk agitating her.
[09:38] Security
    Everyone away from the door!
[09:42] Security
    D-Don't do it, miss!
[09:44] Kusuri
    Meow! Meow!
[09:44] Shizuka
    "You meowst live! You meowst!"
[09:45] Nano
    Mew! Mew!
[09:46] Security
    Not now, you stupid cat!
[09:49] Security
    What are you doing?!
[09:51] Rentaro
    Let me through!
[09:57] Rentaro
    It's okay now.
[09:59] Rentaro
    I'm here for you, Hakari.
[10:02] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[10:05] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?
[10:09] Rentaro
    Karane's holding Hahari-san off right now.
[10:12] Rentaro
    Nobody can stop us.
[10:14] Rentaro
    We can run away from here together.
[10:21] Hakari
    Even if we do escape,
    we'll have to be on the run forever.
[10:25] Hakari
    You'll always be shackled to Mother and me.
[10:30] Rentaro
    Hakari...
[10:31] Hakari
    I can't live with that!
[10:33] Hakari
    I can't live a life that would only
    ruin yours and make you unhappy!
[10:40] Rentaro
    Then stop what you're doing right now!
[10:44] Rentaro
    I can't imagine anything worse
    than having to live a life without you.
[10:51] Rentaro
    No matter what kind of life we live,
    as long as you're with me...
[10:57] Rentaro
    There's no way I could ever be unhappy!
[11:02] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[11:05] Hakari
    That's not...
    It's not fair to say it like that!
[11:12] Rentaro
    I love you.
[11:15] Rentaro
    Now and forever.
[11:18] Rentaro
    Please stay with me for the rest of our lives.
[11:23] Hakari
    No fair...
[11:27] Hakari
    Not fair... That's just not fair!
[11:35] Hakari
    Yes... I love you, too.
[11:41] Hakari
    And I want to be with you forever.
[11:49] Rentaro
    Great. Now come back inside.
[11:52] Hakari
    Okay.
[12:03] Rentaro
    Shoot. The adrenaline wore off
    and now she's scared!
[12:07] Rentaro
    Hakari, it's okay.
[12:09] Rentaro
    Just wait there. I'm coming to you.
[12:11] Hakari
    O-Okay...
[12:35] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[12:38] Rentaro
    Crap, I'm in a bad position!
[12:40] Rentaro
    I'm being dragged over!
[12:43] Hahari
    Finally made it!
[12:45] Karane
    Ugh. Hell hath no fury like a mother strong.
[12:48] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[12:51] Hakari
    Let me go, Rentaro-kun.
[12:53] Hakari
    We'll both go down...
[12:54] Rentaro
    Never!
[12:55] Rentaro
    I finally got you!
[12:57] Rentaro
    I'm never letting go of you again!
[12:59] Hahari
    Hakari!
[12:59] Karane
    Rentaro!
[13:03] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe.
[13:05] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro.
[13:05] Kusuri
    Hakari!
[13:07] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe!
[13:09] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe!
[13:28] Nano
    Grab on.
[13:38] Kusuri
    What were you thinking?
[13:47] Rentaro
    Thank goodness...
[13:49] Rentaro
    I'm so glad you're okay!
[13:54] Hahari
    Hakari!
[13:59] Hahari
    Oh, thank god...
[14:14] Karane
    You idiot!
[14:33] Kusuri
    Karane made Hakari cry.
[14:36] Kusuri
    Hit her so hard...
[14:39] Hahari
    Do you realize...
[14:42] Hahari
    If you hadn't landed in the pond,
    even you would have...
[14:46] Rentaro
    I told you, didn't I?
[14:48] Rentaro
    I'll make her happy, even if it kills me.
[14:52] Hahari
    Ah... I see now.
[14:54] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I promise to make her happy!
[14:57] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I really, really, really, really,
    really love Hakari the most in the world!
[15:01] Hahari
    He meant all of it. Every single word.
[15:12] Hahari
    Please...
[15:15] Hahari
    Take care of Hakari.
[15:18] Rentaro
    It was all for Hakari.
[15:22] Rentaro
    Everything Hahari-san does,
    she does for Hakari.
[15:26] Hakari
    Mother...
[15:28] Rentaro
    She was willing to be hated by her
    beloved Hakari for tearing us apart.
[15:32] Rentaro
    Even if it meant sacrificing everything,
[15:35] Rentaro
    she put Hakari first and foremost.
[15:37] Rentaro
    She's so brave, and so incredibly beautiful.
[15:42] Rentaro
    But this way of life
    will only bring her sorrow.
[15:46] Rentaro
    Of course. I promise...
[15:54] Rentaro
    to make Hakari
[15:56] Rentaro
    and you happy.
[15:59] Hahari
    What?
[16:00] Rentaro
    I want you to be happy, too.
[16:04] Rentaro
    I want you to lead the life you wanted.
[16:07] Rentaro
    The life of joy you once dreamed of!
[16:13] Hahari
    R-Really?
[16:15] Hahari
    Is this... your r-r-reply
    to my asking you out earlier?!
[16:21] Rentaro
    Yes. It would be my honor to go out with you.
[16:24] Hakari
    M-M-M-Mother?!
[16:26] Hakari
    You asked Rentaro-kun out?!
[16:28] Hahari
    I mean...
[16:29] Hahari
    I mean, can you blame me?
[16:32] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan...
[16:34] Hahari
    He's just so cute!
[16:38] Rentaro
    H-Hahari-san?!
[16:40] Hahari
    What is it, my dear Rentaro-chan?
[16:40] Karane
    G-Girlfriend's mom...
[16:43] Hakari
    My literal mother...
[16:44] Kusuri
    MILF...
[16:45] Shizuka
    "Chaos and disorder."
[16:46] Nano
    Mother-Daughter Double Whopper.
[16:47] Hahari
    Oh, I know. It's rather late and all...
[16:54] Hahari
    Be sure to warm up after that pond dive.
[16:57] Hahari
    We're having a sleepover tonight, after all.
[17:00] Hakari
    A sleepover?
[17:02] Hakari
    I feel like I'm getting vertigo
    from all the ups and downs.
[17:05] Shizuka
    "I expected no less from Hakari-san's manor."
    "The bath is as wide as an ocean."
[17:10] Karane
    A rich person's house's bath...
[17:12] Kusuri
    This bath be huge...
[17:14] Kusuri
    But mommy's milkers be huge, too.
[17:16] Hahari
    Oh, my.
[17:17] Hahari
    My dear Hakari has a matching set.
[17:18] Hakari
    M-Mother! I can't...
[17:22] Hakari
    I can't deny it!
SIGN    Booyah!
[17:24] Kusuri
    And Nano's slender
    but stacked, unlike those two.
[17:29] Hakari
    Hold it, Kusuri-senpai!
[17:31] Hahari
    What do you mean, "unlike us two"?
[17:40] Kusuri
    Kusuri's in contention, too, aye aye.
[17:44] Shizuka
    "Is this the festival of goddesses?"
SIGN    Tactical Retreat
[17:49] Karane
    Idiots, carrying those funbags into combat...
[17:53] Karane
    It'll get them killed in action.
[17:58] Rentaro
    Huh? That was quick, Karane.
[18:01] Rentaro
    Done alrea...dy?
[18:08] Karane
    Wh-Whatever.
[18:10] Karane
    I thought nothing of the bath here, is all.
[18:13] Karane
    Wait, what's wrong?
[18:15] Rentaro
    Y-Your tummy's showing.
[18:19] Karane
    I was in such a hurry, I didn't notice!
[18:23] Karane
    S-So? Why are you blushing over a little tummy?
[18:27] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Karane-chan, your cutesy clothes are starting
    to feel kinda smooth and slippery.
[18:31] Karane
    Y-Y-You... Don't tell me...
[18:33] Karane
    You're thinking back to what happened earlier?
[18:36] Karane
    Aha, I thought so!
[18:38] Karane
    You knew you were rubbing
    your face all up in my belly!
[18:41] Karane
    You just pretended
    you didn't realize! You perv!
[18:44] Rentaro
    C-Can you blame me?
    We could've fallen off otherwise!
[18:48] Rentaro
    It was all to make sure you wouldn't get hurt!
SIGN    hngh!!!
[18:53] Karane
    Shaddup, shaddup, shaddup!
    Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was?!
[18:57] Karane
    I need to get payback!
[19:00] Rentaro
    Hey, Karane?!
[19:03] Rentaro
    Karane... What do you mean, payback?
[19:10] Karane
    S-See? Embarrassing, isn't it?
[19:13] Rentaro
    This is just Christmas come early!
[19:16] Karane
    Rentaro's tummy... His warmth...
[19:19] Karane
    His solid abs!
[19:21] Rentaro
    K-Karane...
[19:24] Karane
    Rentaro...
[19:26] Kusuri
    Whew, that was a good bath, aye.
[19:32] Kusuri
    You're working out together?!
[19:34] Kusuri
    Let Kusuri join!
[19:36] Rentaro
    S-Sure! One, two, one, two!
[19:37] Karane
    What was I thinking?
[19:39] Karane
    Yeah, this house really is filled
    with those horndogs' bad vibes!
[19:43] Hakari/Hahari
    Welcome!
[19:45] Hahari
    Now, it's finally time...
[19:48] Hahari
    for the pajama party!
[19:53] Hakari
    Mother is a lover of all things cute.
[19:56] Hakari
    If she finds someone adorable,
    she has to dress them up!
[20:00] Hahari
    All right, my lovelies, get dressed!
[20:03] Hakari
    Eek! Mother, don't be so rough!
[20:06] Karane
    Hey! Stop it, you freak!
[20:08] Kusuri
    This is fine, aye!
[20:08] Hakari
    Mother!
[20:10] Hahari
    Nice, very nice!
[20:11] Shizuka
    "The force of a million troops..."
[20:14] Hahari
    You can look now, Rentaro-chan.
[20:20] Rentarohahari
    Squee!
[20:23] Rentaro
    Y-You all look amazing!
[20:26] Hahari
    It's too early for squealing.
[20:28] Rentaro
    But you were squealing, too.
[20:30] Hahari
    These two... are the icing on the cake!
[20:36] Kusuri
    Rawr, aye.
[20:39] Hakari
    Mother...
[20:41] Kusuri
    Are we that cute?
[20:43] Rentaro
    You've got the whole galaxy blushing.
[20:46] Karane
    Seriously, what's with your galaxy brain?
[20:49] Kusuri
    Well, if we're so darn cute...
[20:53] Kusuri
    We'll give you kissies.
[20:57] Rentaro
    I'm in heaven...
[20:59] Kusuri
    You're going to heaven!
[20:59] Hahari
    Shizuka-chan, Kusuri-chan!
    Give mommy a kiss, too!
[21:02] Hakari
    Down, Mother.
[21:03] Hahari
    I suppose I got a bit carried away.
[21:05] Hakari
    Mother, you've got a nosebleed.
[21:07] Hahari
    I'll get some water from the kitchen.
[21:09] Rentaro
    Let me help you there.
[21:15] Rentaro
    Are you all right?
[21:17] Hahari
    Y-Yes, sorry.
[21:21] Hahari
    I'm too old to be getting so excited.
[21:25] Rentaro
    Oh, Hahari-san's been holding back forever...
[21:32] Rentaro
    Hahari-san.
[21:35] Rentaro
    There are plenty of fun
    things in store for us.
[21:41] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan...
[21:47] Hahari
    Forgive me.
[21:50] Hahari
    I can't hold it back any more...
[21:54] Rentaro
    H-Hahari-san?
[21:56] Hahari
    Come to my room...
[22:02] Rentaro
    Hahari-san...
[22:04] Narrator
    Rentaro! You...
[22:06] Narrator
    Are you going to go from boy to man?!