E2 - Come Rain or Come Shine / Sweet Baby / Still Waiting

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Snack
    
     Basue
[00:04] Robber
    Hey! Didn't you hear me?! Huh?!
[00:07] Robber
    You think this is a joke?!
[00:10] Robber
    Just hand over the cash!
[00:13] Basue
    Oh, I'm sorry. We don't do
    salary advances here.
[00:20] Akemi
    Yeah. Besides, we haven't even decided
    whether we're hiring you yet.
[00:24] Robber
    Wha?!
[00:29] Kosame
    I... I came...
[00:32] Kosame
    I came here to interview
    for a part-time job, and...
[00:36] Sign
    Kosame Amano
[00:36] Kosame
    I got caught up in this mess.
[00:40] Akemi
    Do you have any special skills
     you take pride in?
[00:43] Robber
    If I did, I wouldn't be doing this!
[00:47] Robber
    You can't tell just by looking at me?!
[00:50] Robber
    I hate to say it, but I do look
    the part, don't you think?!
[00:54] Basue
    You say you look the part, but...
[00:57] Akemi
    You're wearing a mask,
    so we can't even see your face.
[01:00] Robber
    Are we even talking about the same thing!?
[01:03] Robber
    Hey!
[01:04] Robber
    You could usually tell, couldn't you?
[01:05] Kosame
    Yes.
[01:07] Robber
    It's embarrassing.
    Please don't make me say it!
[01:10] Basue
    Okay, how about we have you
    come in twice a week to start?
[01:15] Basue
    How's that sound?
[01:16] Robber
    The neighborhood crime watch
    would have a fit!
[01:19] Kosame
    Uh, um... Besides, this person is a man.
[01:24] Kosame
    Are you hiring men too?
[01:27] Robber
    Nice question!
[01:29] Akemi
    You know, I was just discussing
     whether we should or not with Mama.
[01:34] Akemi
    Lately, it's been getting pretty dangerous
    around here, you know?
[01:36] Kosame
    If you're aware of that,
    why don't you see what's happening?!
[01:39] Robber
    That's me! I am the danger!
[01:43] Robber
    And even if I were here for an interview,
    you need to immediately reject people like me!
[01:51] Akemi
    Oh.
[01:52] Robber
    Don't point!
[01:53] Basue
    Calm down, Akemi-chan.
[01:56] Basue
    It's my duty to protect
    the girls who work here.
[02:02] Basue
    There... Make sure you're done by the time
    I finish counting the stains on the ceiling.
[02:06] Robber
    Please, I'm begging you.
    Just give me the money!
[02:10] Robber
    I'm a robber who's just here for the money!
[02:13] Robber
    I only want the money!
    Give it to me and I won't hurt anyone!
[02:17] Basue
    You only want the money...
[02:19] Robber
    Yes! I only want the money!
[02:22] Basue
    But would you be willing
    to take... more?
[02:26] Robber
    Is she getting ready to strike
    and defend at the same time?!
[02:37] [SONG] Sign
    Snack Basue
[02:42] [SONG] Sign
    Snack Basue
SIGN    (Kosame-chan Clocks In)
[04:01] Robber
    Hey, there is seriously something
    wrong with these people!
[04:04] Robber
    If you want to work at a snack bar,
    you should look for another place.
[04:11] Robber
    A good snack bar has more kindness and...
     how should I put it?
[04:17] Robber
    It should have the vibe
    that it's a nursery school for old men.
[04:20] Kosame
    That is some twisted example.
[04:23] Kosame
    Um...
[04:26] Kosame
    If you're that into snack bars,
[04:28] Kosame
    why did you want to go and rob one?
[04:32] Akemi
    Oh, Stockholm syndrome.
[04:34] Basue
    Ah, the phenomenon where one becomes
    empathetic towards the criminal.
[04:38] Robber
    Yeah, you're right...
    I'm not even sure what I'm thinking...
[04:45] Robber
    No... or maybe I wanted to be
    scolded by the snack bar's Mama.
[04:54] Robber
    You see, men need to be scolded
    in order to understand.
[04:58] Robber
    Unless we're shown sympathy,
    we can't get back on our feet.
[05:01] Robber
    Only with both can we truly become grown men.
[05:10] Robber
    Heh, what the heck am I doing, preaching
    when I'm not even a customer here?
[05:16] Basue
    Oh, but you are.
[05:19] Robber
    Huh?
[05:21] Akemi
    You didn't notice...
[05:23] Akemi
    that you went from being
    a "robber" to a "customer?"
[05:25] Akemi
    Thanks to Mama's customer service skills?
[05:30] Robber
    When did I get this shochu mixed with water?!
[05:34] Kosame
    Oh, me too?!
[05:38] Robber
    All of that nonsense up until now
    was all part of her plan?
[05:44] Robber
    I see... so these are the true
    customer service skills
[05:50] Robber
    of a snack bar Mama!
SIGN    Do Do Do Do
[05:52] Kosame
    I swear she's using a different kind
    of supernatural power!
SIGN    Do Do Do
[06:02] Basue
    Oh?
[06:04] Basue
    So you can see this as well?
[06:07] Kosame
    It was the kind of thing
    I shouldn't have looked at!
[06:12] Robber
    Mama, you'd even treat a guy
    like me as a customer, huh?
[06:23] Akemi
    You want some katsudon, hm?
[06:24] Kosame
    Though, this one is treating you
    like a criminal!
[06:30] Basue
    You're still young.
[06:33] Basue
    You still have a chance to start over in life.
[06:37] Basue
    So take off that silly mask and... and...
[06:43] Robber
    Mama...
[06:44] Kosame
    He looks more over the hill than I expected!
[06:47] Akemi
    No, every customer looks young to Mama...
[06:53] Akemi
    Yep... it's common in snack bars.
[06:55] Basue
    Uhm... If you start now,
    you might still have a small...
[06:58] Basue
    a small, last chance!
[07:01] Kosame
    Oh, that was a hard call, even for Mama!
[07:06] Robber
    You're right... I was stupid.
[07:10] Robber
    I just messed up once, after all.
[07:14] Robber
    Even though in Japanese society
    that could mean the end...
[07:19] Robber
    Mama, I'm going to give it a try!
[07:25] Robber
    The fun conversations
    and the harsh scolding...
[07:29] Robber
    Thank you for giving me
    the best snack bar experience.
[07:32] Robber
    I'd like to come back again someday.
SIGN    Snack Basue
[07:39] Police
    5:21p.m., criminal was arrested
    on suspicion of robbery.
[07:43] Police
    You have the right to remain silent.
[07:45] Police
    Anything you say can and will be
    used against you in a court of law.
[07:49] Police
    You have the right to an attorney.
[07:52] Police
    If you cannot afford an attorney, one will...
[07:55] Robber
    Can't I get a little empathy?
SIGN    (If it's sweet love, then...)
[08:05] Yamada
    Akemi-san.
[08:06] Akemi
    Hm?
[08:08] Yamada
    What do you think of a man
    who eats crepes by himself?
[08:12] Akemi
    What?!
[08:13] Akemi
    A man...
[08:15] Akemi
    by himself...
[08:18] Akemi
    eating a crepe?!
[08:19] Yamada
    What's with that reaction?
[08:21] Akemi
    Um... Crepe... Crepe...
[08:25] Akemi
    C... Rape? Is the answer "sex offender"?
[08:29] Yamada
    Unfortunately, that wasn't a riddle.
[08:31] Akemi
    Bummer. Then I don't think anything of it.
[08:35] Yamada
    Just as I thought...
[08:37] Yamada
    You see, I had this huge
    craving for one today, but...
[08:41] Yamada
    I was too embarrassed to stand in line.
[08:44] Yamada
    I know no one cares,
    but I ended up not getting one.
[08:49] Basue
    My, that's tough.
[08:51] Basue
    There are a lot of men who are
    bothered by that, aren't there?
[08:56] Yamada
    I understand, but...
[08:59] Akemi
    Well, I think you should just go and eat it...
[09:18] Akemi
    You should learn to be ashamed.
SIGN    Snack Basue
[09:22] Basue
    Snack Basue.
SIGN    (I dream of you)
[09:32] Morita
    Hurry it up!
[09:33] Morita
    Give me one more!
[09:34] Akemi
    Hey, Morita, you're drinking too much.
[09:37] Akemi
    You should stop there.
[09:42] Akemi
    It's not good to drink your
    sorrows away. What happened?
[09:47] Morita
    Why... why...
[09:51] Akemi
    Why?
[09:53] Morita
    Why can't I be popular with the ladies?!
[09:58] Akemi
    I'll make it extra strong for you.
[10:00] Morita
    Don't run away and face me!
[10:02] Morita
    Women of the night!
[10:04] Morita
    You know you're never going to meet
    Prince Charming riding a white horse,
[10:07] Morita
    so let me ride you, instead!
[10:09] Basue
    Oh, if only you were born
    a worm and not a human.
[10:17] Akemi
    A prince riding on a white horse, huh...
[10:21] Akemi
    You know, not everyone dreams of that.
[10:31] Morita
    Is something wrong with the entrance?
[10:36] Akemi
    No... but they say when you have
    conversations like these, they come.
[10:40] Morita
    No. That's ghosts that come when
    you talk about them.
[10:51] Morita
    Fine, why don't we
    talk about sluts instead?
[10:53] Akemi
    I think we should talk about the police.
[10:56] Basue
    Besides, a prince on
    a white horse is so outdated.
[11:01] Akemi
    Yeah, that's true.
[11:03] Basue
    These days, wouldn't it be a billionaire
    in a luxury car?
[11:08] Akemi
    No. If he's a prince, wouldn't it be
    more like the son of a billionaire?
[11:13] Akemi
    A son who's riding in a luxury car that
    his wealthy parents bought him.
SIGN    My dad is really important!
SIGN    The lazy bad boy you often see on the internet.
SIGN    BonBonTV
SIGN    BonBonTV
[11:18] Basue
    BonBonTV!
[11:21] Morita
    But you'd still be happy if someone
    like that came to pick you up, right?
[11:28] Akemi
    I'd think he was a big scammer.
[11:30] Morita
    Oh, right on.
[11:32] Morita
    I never would have expected
    that answer from a woman
[11:35] Morita
    carrying a huge debt from her ex-boyfriend.
[11:37] Akemi
    Barley gets stronger the more you step on it.
[11:40] Akemi
    Besides, even if the economy's bad,
    life in Japan's still way better than it used to be.
[11:45] Akemi
    Luxury cars and wealthy families...
    Nobody these days cares about that stuff.
[11:49] Morita
    Then what do you think the current
    version of a prince on a white horse is?
[11:56] Akemi
    Hm...
[11:58] Akemi
    Well, first, I wouldn't want anyone riding
    on something grand like a white horse.
[12:03] Akemi
    I'd even go as far as to say that men
    who are into cars are obnoxious.
[12:06] Akemi
    So I'd prefer someone who drives a regular car.
[12:08] Morita
    But women who say that tend to hate Kei cars.
[12:12] Akemi
    As for my prince's job, I'd say
    he'd need to make just enough
[12:15] Akemi
    so that I could one-up all the other married
    woman in my neighborhood.
SIGN    My husband's
    monthly income
SIGN    is 530,000
     yen.
[12:19] Akemi
    My husband's monthly income is 530,000 yen.
[12:22] Morita
    Wow, that would make you an absolute bitch!
[12:25] Morita
    You know, Akemi-chan.
    That's not what I'm talking about!
[12:29] Morita
    I'm saying, when you're talking
    about a prince on a white horse,
[12:30] Morita
    it should have more romance, you know?
[12:33] Akemi
    Huh? We're talking about wanting to be
    pampered by a convenient, handsome man, right?
[12:36] Morita
    Greedy!
[12:38] Morita
    Aw man, then seriously,
[12:40] Morita
    I'd rather have a girl who's really
    waiting for her true prince to come.
[12:43] Morita
    She'd at least have a cute side to her.
[12:46] Akemi
    There you go again.
[12:48] Akemi
    Morita, you have this weird idea that
[12:51] Akemi
    all women are waiting for
    a prince to take them away.
[12:55] Akemi
    When, in fact, you're just wanting
    these girls to be dreamers.
[12:59] Akemi
    You're only projecting.
[13:03] Akemi
    Don't you have it in you to make an effort
    to be that prince on a white horse,
[13:08] Akemi
    instead of complaining about it?!
[13:10] Akemi
    Don't you have that desire?!
[13:15] Morita
    It's not that... I don't.
[13:18] Morita
    It's not that I don't.
[13:23] Morita
    When my school...
[13:24] Akemi
    When your school...?
[13:26] Morita
    When my school is being
    taken over by terrorists,
[13:29] Morita
    and there's this girl I like
    in my class being taken hostage...
[13:32] Morita
    Somehow a bunch of stuff happens,
    and I save her!
[13:35] Morita
    I used to have fantasies about that!
[13:38] Akemi
    The heck is he talking about?
[13:43] Morita
    There are three terrorists.
[13:45] Morita
    They're armed with guns,
    but obviously, their odds aren't so great
[13:50] Morita
    once they think of challenging me.
[13:52] Morita
    At first, I calmly watch it play out, but...
[13:57] School Morita
    Look at those amateurs,
    leaving themselves wide open.
[14:00] Morita
    And after I thought that,
    it all went down fast.
[14:09] Morita
    Instant death.
[14:21] Terrorist
    He disa—?!
[14:29] Classmate 1
    Wow.
[14:30] Classmate 2
    What Morita did...
[14:31] Classmate 3
    For real?
[14:32] Classmate 4
    Man, he's good.
[14:34] Girl he likes
    Morita-kun... Just who are you?
[14:40] Morita
    And that's how I save the girl.
[14:42] Akemi
    Morita... just how much of a virgin are you?
[14:46] Basue
    Morita-chan, there's just no way
    you'd be able to dodge bullets.
[14:50] Basue
    Can we come up with a new story where you use
    wit and ingenuity to save the day?
[14:55] Morita
    What are you talking about?
[14:57] Morita
    I could totally dodge them!
[14:58] Morita
    That's because I was usually one of the last
    ones standing when we played dodgeball!
[15:04] Morita
    Everyone was so afraid of how agile I was
    that they didn't dare to throw the ball.
[15:10] Morita
    Besides, if you pay attention to which way
    the muzzle is facing and their killer instinct,
[15:14] Morita
    you're not gonna get hit by a bullet.
[15:17] Morita
    It's easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as they say!
    Piece of cake!
[15:35] Akemi
    ...is what happened yesterday.
[15:37] Tatsu
    It's hard to follow when you
    lay a story on me like that.
[15:41] Tatsu
    I just sat down and haven't
    even gotten a drink yet.
[15:44] Tatsu
    Just give me a rough summary of it, will ya?
[15:47] Akemi
    A girl who lived a peaceful
    life meets a young man.
[15:52] Akemi
    She learns the existence
    of doors that can bring disaster
[15:54] Akemi
    and sets out on a journey to close said doors.
[15:55] Tatsu
    That's a summary of another anime!
[15:57] Girl and boy
    Please, I ask of you!
[15:58] Akemi
    And so, I had a conversation with Morita
    about princes on white horses yesterday.
[16:05] Tatsu
    And why is that?
[16:07] Akemi
    It seems boys like to think that girls want
    to be picked up by a prince on a white horse.
[16:14] Akemi
    But I was wondering, what about boys?
[16:16] Akemi
    That's what I wanted to ask you, Tatsu-ni.
[16:19] Tatsu
    Oh, I see.
[16:21] Tatsu
    And what did Morita-chan have to say about that?
[16:25] Akemi
    The dumbest shit you've ever heard.
[16:26] Tatsu
    I can guess!
[16:30] Tatsu
    Hm... A prince on a white horse, huh...
[16:37] Tatsu
    Yeah, I can relate.
[16:39] Akemi
    What?
[16:40] Tatsu
    I want a prince on a white horse...
[16:44] Tatsu
    to come and get me too!
[16:49] Akemi
    Oh, I'm sorry. I asked it in a bad way.
[16:53] Akemi
    Um, that's not it. If a girl
    is waiting for a prince, right?
[16:59] Akemi
    Would you want to be that prince
    and go and get the girl, is what I was asking.
[17:06] Tatsu
    No, I'd rather he come...
[17:11] Tatsu
    and get me!
[17:13] Akemi
    Huh?
[17:14] Basue
    It's simple, Akemi-chan.
[17:17] Basue
    After all that, it just means girls
    and boys desire the same things.
[17:21] Basue
    They just want to believe in an easy fantasy.
[17:25] Akemi
    Ah, I see... Like stories where
    a pretty girl suddenly falls from the sky?
[17:31] Tatsu
    You're so off.
[17:33] Tatsu
    A story about a prince coming for you
[17:35] Tatsu
    and a girl falling from the sky
    are completely different.
[17:40] Akemi
    So what kind of story do you like?
[17:43] Tatsu
    I want a...
[17:46] Tatsu
    prince to come and get me!
[17:48] Akemi
    Is this conversation a dud too?
[17:51] Basue
    Tatsu-ni, I didn't know you swung that way.
[17:55] Tatsu
    Quickly assuming that it's related
    to sex is what ignorant hussies say.
[18:00] Tatsu
    I don't know if you'd understand.
[18:02] Tatsu
    It's just like how girls adore
    their favorite female idols.
[18:06] Tatsu
    Boys adore their favorite male idols, too.
[18:10] Basue
    Oh, is it like the "I really want to become
    close with my favorite idol" sort of thing?
[18:16] Akemi
    But princes usually prioritize girls
    over old men, so just let it go, okay.
[18:22] Tatsu
    Everyone has the right to adore someone!
[18:25] Tatsu
    Besides, when a prince comes to get me,
[18:31] Tatsu
    I am the princess!
[18:36] Akemi
    Is a story about a cursed princess being turned
    into an old man being written right now?
[18:42] Basue
    Are you sure it isn't an old man
    being cursed into thinking he's a princess?
[18:46] Akemi
    Gross.
[18:48] Tatsu
    Am I Medusa or something?
[18:50] Tatsu
    Come on, you two.
[18:53] Tatsu
    Princesses are not
    exclusive to girls, you know!
[18:57] Akemi
    I feel like I just added fuel to the fire.
[19:01] Tatsu
    If you're going to judge
    an old man for adoring princesses,
[19:05] Tatsu
    it's the same as if you were to judge a boy
    for choosing a girl character in a game
[19:07] Tatsu
    and call him a pervert for doing so.
[19:09] Tatsu
    That's how low you're going.
[19:10] Child
    Pervert! Pervert!
[19:12] Tatsu
    You shouldn't try to understand
    something by forcing it to fit your values.
[19:19] Morita
    But I've always chosen girl characters
    so I could put them in their pervy costumes.
[19:24] Tatsu
    Morita-chan.
[19:27] Morita
    Akemi-chan, I've been thinking
    about it since yesterday.
[19:32] Morita
    I'm here to be that prince,
    and I've come to get you.
[19:36] Akemi
    That's what I've been waiting for!
[19:36] [SONG] Sign
    Ideal Development
[19:37] Basue
    Ideal Development!
[19:39] Morita
    Really?!
[19:41] Morita
    So, Akemi-chan, you were the kind
    of princess to wait for a prince, after all.
[19:46] Akemi
    Nope, the princess is over here.
[19:48] Morita
    Huh?
[19:49] Morita
    Tatsu-ni?
[19:52] Akemi
    Tatsu-ni is a cursed princess
    who got turned into an old man!
[19:56] Morita
    The heck are you talking about?
[19:58] Akemi
    In order to break the spell,
    he needs a kiss from the prince.
[20:02] Morita
    The heck are you talking about?
[20:03] Akemi
    All right, Morita! Give Tatsu-ni
    that kiss and break the curse!
[20:09] Basue
    Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
[20:14] Akemi
    Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
[20:24] Tatsu
    Kill me.
[20:25] Morita
    Are you a princess knight or something?
[20:36] Morita
    Yeah, kisses are meant to be saved
    for someone special.
[20:42] Akemi
    Are we still talking about that?
[20:46] Tatsu
    I can understand that.
[20:48] Akemi
    Your maiden act is still
    going on, too, Tatsu-ni?
[20:52] Tatsu
    Well, don't people say kisses are different?
[20:59] Akemi
    Hey, Tatsu-ni,
[21:01] Akemi
    I know you're preaching about how it's okay
    to give your body, but not the kiss.
[21:05] Akemi
    But you're already making a worthless
    statement by saying your body is okay.
[21:09] Tatsu
    Yeah, come to think of it!
[21:12] Akemi
    Come on, sing a song, and let's switch gears.
[21:17] Tatsu
    You're right...
[21:21] Tatsu
    But what should I sing?
[21:24] Akemi
    Ah, you're that type who can't
    come up with what to sing, huh.
[21:28] Akemi
    Hmm. Then, how about
    you sing Chiharu Matsuyama?
[21:32] Tatsu
    Oh, yeah. He's from Hokkaido.
[21:36] [SONG] Sign
    Reserved
SIGN    Long Night
[21:36] Akemi
    I like this song. You understand me, Tatsu-ni.
[21:41] Tatsu
    Right?
[21:50] Tatsu
    I'm going to hold my mic up high too.
[21:52] Morita
    Oh, just like Chiharu Matsuyama.
[21:56] Tatsu
    I sway to love as
[22:04] Tatsu
    our hearts become one.
[22:11] Tatsu
    I only chase after you.
[22:25] Tatsu
    Come here. Close by my side.
[22:40] Tatsu
    I'll give you a burning, passionate kiss.
[22:55] Tatsu
    I want to spend the long night away.
[23:09] Tatsu
    I vow to only love you.
[23:28] Tatsu
    Embraced in each other's arms,
[23:35] Tatsu
    the two of us are left flustered.
[23:43] Tatsu
    A burning, passionate kiss, huh... Sounds nice.
[23:47] Akemi
    You're still planning on dragging it out?
[23:49] ---