E1 - I Must Commit Double-Suicide!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    River
[00:57] Sensei
    Look at those rapids.
[01:01] Sensei
    It's a real man-eating river.
[01:06] Sacchan
    Let us go together, Sensei.
[01:13] Sensei
    Yeah.
[01:24] Sensei
    Sacchan.
[01:27] Sacchan
    Yes?
[01:30] Sensei
    Now we'll be together forever.
[01:38] Sensei
    Oh?
SIGN    On this day,
SIGN    a certain great author
SIGN    and his lover
SIGN    left this world.
[02:51] Sensei
    I see. So this is the world
    we go to after we die.
[02:56] Sensei
    It's a rather Western-styled
    place, isn't it?
[03:02] Annette
    This is not the world after death.
[03:07] Annette
    Welcome, adventurer.
[03:12] Sensei
    And you are?
[03:16] Annette
    I guide those who descend upon this world.
[03:20] Annette
    My name is Annette.
[03:28] Annette
    Behold, adventurer.
[03:31] Annette
    This is a different world
    from the one you came from.
[03:35] Annette
    You were chosen and transported here…
[03:43] Annette
    to this land enclosed in
    darkness, Zauberberg...
[03:57] Annette
    so that you could be a hero who
    brings light to this world!
[04:03] Sensei
    Another world? Transported?
[04:07] Annette
    Yes.
[04:09] Sensei
    In other words, after failing
    to commit double-suicide,
[04:14] Sensei
    I was brought to this strange world?
[04:18] Annette
    It sounds like you understand.
[04:25] Sensei
    Mine has been a life of much shame.
[04:34] Annette
    Listen to me, adventurer.
[04:36] Annette
    You have been given a mission. It is…
SIGN    For Commercial Use
     Calmotin Sedative
[04:45] Annette
    What?!
SIGN    Another World ]
[04:52] Annette
    P-Purifying light!
[04:54] Annette
    Detoxify!
[05:03] Sensei
    You don't need to do that, you know.
[05:07] Sensei
    You're bothering me. Stop that.
[05:10] Annette
    What are you doing?!
[05:13] Annette
    Stand, adventurer.
[05:15] Annette
    You will become a hero and fulfill your
    great mission of saving this world.
[05:22] Sensei
    Mission? I don't care about any mission.
[05:26] Sensei
    I'm just looking for a place to die.
[05:31] Annette
    Stop eating those!
[05:32] Annette
    Why would you do that?
[05:35] Annette
    You were chosen by this world.
[05:39] Sensei
    Chosen?
[05:44] Sensei
    Who asked to be chosen?
[05:47] Annette
    Huh?
[05:48] Annette
    W-Were you not visited by a truck?
[05:52] Sensei
    A truck?
[05:56] Sensei
    Come to think of it, there was one.
[06:00] Annette
    That truck was the Other World Selection
    Truck, the one that brought you here.
SIGN    Unhappy
[06:06] Annette
    Among the many people in your
    old world living unhappy lives,
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
SIGN    Pickup / Drop-off
[06:11] Annette
    only those struck by the truck get
    to redo their lives in this world.
SIGN    I've
    been
    struck!!
SIGN    You're so
    
    stro- ng,
    
    hero!
SIGN    I love you!
SIGN    Happy
[06:17] Annette
    That is the World Transfer
    Service we provide.
[06:20] Annette
    If the truck came for you, that proves
    you were unhappy in your old world.
[06:27] Annette
    But you were granted the chance to abandon
    your previous life and come to this world.
[06:33] Annette
    Congratulations!
[06:39] Sensei
    Now you've done it.
[06:44] Annette
    Huh?
[06:46] Sensei
    That truck interfered with what was to be the
    happiest moment of my life, my double-suicide.
[06:55] Annette
    Wha—
[06:59] Sensei
    Who are you to decide if
    someone is unhappy or not?
[07:08] Annette/Id
    I can hardly believe my ears.
[07:10] Annette/Id
    He was saved from a life so unhappy
    that he chose to commit suicide.
[07:18] Annette/Id
    It matters not.
[07:19] Annette/Id
    No matter what this human says, he'll
    change his mind once he sees his stats.
[07:26] Annette/Id
    Without exception, every
    human brought to this world
[07:29] Annette/Id
    is granted the ability to
    wield superhuman powers.
[07:34] [SONG] Sign
    Poison (Calmotin)
[07:36] Annette/Id
    What? He's so weak!
[07:37] Annette/Id
    One hit point?!
[07:37] [SONG] Sign
    Sensei
    Profession: Adventurer
    Sex: Male
    
    
    LV 1
    HP 1
    MP 0
    
    Poison
    (Calmotin)
[07:39] Annette/Id
    Not only is the screen bright red,
    but he's poisoned? After I detoxified him?
[07:42] Annette/Id
    Wait, is he about to die?
[07:45] Annette/Id
    That's impossible!
    There's no way he's this weak.
[07:49] Annette/Id
    There must be a reason for this.
[07:52] Annette/Id
    Perhaps he has a special skill
    or exceptional ability.
[07:57] [SONG] Sign
    Equipment
    Cigarettes
    Matches
    Sedative
    Fountain Pen
    Notebook
    Spells
    None
    Skills
    None
    Stats
    Attack: 1
    Defense: 1
    Speed: 1
    Magic: 1
[07:59] Annette/Id
    Nothing.
[08:00] Annette/Id
    Impossible! I don't believe it!
[08:05] Annette/Id
    He's so weak.
[08:07] Annette/Id
    I've never seen such a weak Other Worlder.
[08:14] Sensei
    Well, I'm going to go now.
[08:24] Annette
    Wait!
[08:27] Annette
    Um, I'm terribly sorry.
[08:30] Annette
    You were right. You must've been
    brought to this world by mistake.
[08:36] Annette
    You neither have the ability to live in
    this world, nor are you fit to live here!
[08:54] Sensei
    Now that sounds like my life.
[09:02] Sensei
    I see I'm branded a failure
    no matter what world I live in.
[09:13] Annette
    I'm sorry. It was all our world's mistake.
[09:17] Annette
    In any case, please stay here for a while.
[09:21] Annette
    In your current state, you're too weak.
[09:23] Annette
    You'd be killed by monsters
    the moment you stepped outside.
[09:28] Sensei
    Thank you, but don't worry about me.
[09:33] Sensei
    I'm just looking for a place to die.
[09:41] Annette/Id
    This man…
[09:46] Annette
    This man is different.
[09:52] Annette/Id
    I was once proud to guide Other Worlders.
[09:59] Other Worlder A
    Where am I?
[10:00] Annette
    I've been waiting for you, adventurer.
[10:04] Annette
    Welcome to Zauberberg.
[10:07] Annette/Id
    Meeting Other Worlders excited me.
[10:13] Annette/Id
    But…
[10:15] Other Worlder B
    Good grief. First a corporate
    drone, now a hero?
SIGN    Pretentious!!
[10:18] Other Worlder B
    Give me a break.
[10:20] Annette
    Won't you please reconsider, hero?
[10:23] Annette/Id
    At some point…
[10:25] Other Worlder C
    Huh? I easily pulled out
    the legendary sword.
SIGN    Arrogant!!
[10:29] Annette
    Wow, that's never happened before!
[10:31] (Flashback) Annette
    Impressive, hero! I had no idea!
[10:34] (Flashback) Annette
    Wow, you're great at this! Oh, I see!
[10:39] Annette/Id
    I closed off my heart
[10:41] Annette/Id
    and became a woman who simply
    flattered heroes again and again.
[10:47] Annette/Id
    At least, that's what I thought.
[10:52] Annette
    Wait!
[10:54] Annette
    At the very least, please take
    a profession before you go!
[11:02] Sensei
    A profession?
[11:08] Sensei
    I'm a born writer.
[11:13] Sensei
    Nothing more, nothing less.
[11:18] Sensei
    Goodbye, girl with the
    beautifully-shaped ears.
[11:26] Annette/Id
    I understand now.
[11:35] Annette/Id
    I…
[11:39] Annette/Id
    I had been waiting for this man to arrive!
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
SIGN    I Must Commit
    Double-Suicide!
SIGN    I Must Commit
    Double-Suicide!
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
SIGN    I Must Commit
    Double-Suicide!
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
SIGN    I Must Commit
    Double-Suicide!
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
SIGN    No Longer Allowed in Another World
[12:07] Sensei
    Another world, huh?
[12:09] Sensei
    I can't read a lick of that, but I can tell
    I can't hope to find a single café here.
[12:18] System Voice
    Landmark "Great Plains of Ersten" discovered.
[12:23] System Voice
    Five experience points gained.
[12:25] Sensei
    I don't know who you are, but stop
    speaking directly into my mind.
[12:31] Sensei
    I suffer from migraines.
[12:35] System Voice
    Adventurer rose to level 2.
[12:40] Sensei
    I think I'll die.
[12:51] Tama
    No! Release me!
SIGN    Death Tree has appeared.
[12:57] Tama
    You're an adventurer, aren't you?
[12:59] Tama
    Sorry, but could you help me?
[13:01] Tama
    Please! At this rate, I'll be killed!
[13:07] Tama
    No!
[13:11] Sensei/Id
    I'm meeting a lot of people
    with oddly-shaped ears today.
[13:16] Sensei/Id
    In any case, dying women
    certainly are beautiful.
[13:22] Tama
    Are you listening?!
[13:24] Sensei
    Could I write a novel based on you?
[13:27] Tama
    Huh?! What are you talking about?!
[13:29] Tama
    Just hurry up and save me!
[13:32] Sensei
    Hm?
[13:33] Sensei
    You want me to save you?
[13:36] Sensei
    Give me a moment.
[13:45] Sensei
    Alas, I cannot reach you.
[13:47] Tama
    Er, don't you have a sword
    or spells or something?
[13:56] Sensei
    I can't breathe.
[13:57] Tama
    Oh, come on! What are you
    doing? You're useless!
[14:01] Sensei
    Well, nice to meet you.
[14:04] Sensei
    We don't have much longer to live, do we?
[14:07] Tama
    Yeah, because of you.
[14:10] Tama
    Death Trees have the Suction skill.
[14:13] Tama
    They steal the life force
    from their captives.
[14:18] Tama
    In a few more minutes, we'll be dead.
[14:24] Sensei
    That's good news.
[14:26] Tama
    How is that good news?
[14:28] Sensei
    You're actually excited as well, aren't you?
[14:32] Tama
    Seriously, why?!
[14:34] Sensei
    I'm beginning to feel weak.
[14:41] Sensei
    Goodbye.
[14:44] Tama
    Hey! Don't give up, adventurer!
[14:49] Tama
    What? Seriously?
[14:50] Tama
    No way! Say something! Hey!
[15:00] Tama
    I never imagined I'd meet
    such a confusing end.
[15:20] Tama
    What is this?
[15:23] Sensei
    I failed to die again.
[15:26] System Voice
    300 damage inflicted by
    adventurer's poison.
[15:27] Tama/Id
    Poison?
[15:29] System Voice
    Adventurer has defeated the Death Tree.
[15:32] Tama/Id
    Seriously?
[15:33] Tama/Id
    He made it kill itself by absorbing
    poison instead of his life force?
[15:40] System Voice
    Adventurer rose to level 3.
[15:43] Tama/Id
    Does he inject himself with poison?
[15:46] Tama
    Wh-What's your deal?
[15:49] Tama
    You pretend to be weak,
    but you're actually pretty strong.
[16:02] Sensei
    This always happens.
[16:04] Sensei
    I'm the one who wished for death,
    and yet I survived. That's all.
[16:15] Sensei
    Up until now, I've tried to die five times.
[16:20] Sensei
    It's never gone right once.
[16:25] Tama
    I-In any case, I don't know
    why you're depressed,
[16:31] Tama
    but I'm glad I didn't die.
[16:34] Tama
    So, um…
[16:37] Tama
    Thank you.
[16:42] Tama
    I know! You should come to my place!
[16:45] Tama
    You did save my life. Let me thank you.
[16:50] Tama
    Come on, stand up. What's your name?
[16:53] Sensei
    People call me Sensei.
[16:56] Tama
    Okay, Sensei.
[16:58] Tama
    Let's go.
[17:04] Sensei
    Sacchan.
[17:08] (Flashback) Sacchan
    Let us go together, Sensei.
[17:15] Sensei
    Did you come to this world, too, Sacchan?
[17:20] Tama
    Hold on. My name isn't Sacchan.
[17:25] Tama
    Are you listening? Don't forget it.
[17:27] Tama
    My name is—
[17:28] Sensei
    Sacchan.
[17:32] Tama
    I said it's not Sacchan!
[17:34] Tama
    Hey, where do you think you're going?
[17:37] Tama
    Are you listening? My name is—
[17:39] Sensei
    Sacchan.
[17:41] Tama
    Hey!
[17:47] Sensei/Id
    I just found a reason to live
    in this whimsical other world.
[18:02] Sensei/Id
    I'll find you wherever
    you are in this world.
[18:11] Sensei/Id
    And then…
[18:15] Sensei/Id
    We'll commit double-suicide together.
[19:51] Annette
    O gods of Zauberberg.
[19:55] Annette
    Please protect that adventurer.
[19:58] Annette
    And please let us meet again someday.
[20:09] Annette
    A-Adventurer?!
[20:12] Sensei
    Hello.
[20:15] Annette
    Ah, you've returned!
[20:20] Tama
    Sensei, why did we come here?
[20:25] Tama
    Let's go.
[20:28] Annette/Id
    Who is that woman?
[20:31] Sensei
    I actually have a question for you.
[20:34] Annette
    Huh?
[20:37] Annette
    Y-Yes, of course. Ask me anything.
[20:40] Sensei
    I'm looking for a woman named Sacchan.
[20:43] Sensei
    Any idea where she might be?
[20:45] Annette
    What?!
[20:46] Annette/Id
    Yet another woman?!
[20:52] Sensei
    I have absolutely no leads.
[20:55] Tama
    Come on, cheer up, Sensei.
[20:58] Tama
    It's okay. I'm sure she's out there somewhere.
[21:02] Sensei
    What large clouds.
[21:04] Tama
    We've still got a ways to go to my place,
[21:07] Tama
    so let's stop by the castle town of Roth.
[21:10] Tama
    Come on, let's go.
[21:14] Annette
    Holding a man's hand in public?
[21:17] Annette
    How dare you be so shameless?
[21:20] Tama
    Hey, that hurt!
[21:21] Tama
    Why did you come with us, anyway?!
[21:24] Annette
    B-Because…
[21:30] Tama
    Oh, I see.
[21:32] Tama
    You're in love with Sensei, aren't you?
[21:36] Annette
    M-My motives are not so impure!
[21:40] Annette
    As a clergy person, I have a responsibility
    to protect this weak Other Worlder.
[21:45] Tama
    What? Sensei's an Other Worlder?
[21:47] Tama
    No wonder he's so strong.
[21:51] Annette
    Strong?
[21:52] Annette
    Liar. He isn't strong.
[21:55] Annette
    That's why I have to stay with him.
[21:58] Tama
    You're wrong.
[21:59] Tama
    Sensei killed a Death Tree with a
    single attack and saved my life.
[22:06] Annette
    Saved your life?
[22:09] Annette
    You've already grown that close?
[22:13] Annette
    You little thieving cat.
[22:17] Tama
    You're a real pain, aren't you?
[22:20] Sensei
    Ah.
[22:22] Sensei
    I've found something delightful.
[22:25] Sensei
    I've been feeling so dizzy
    since I arrived in this world.
[22:29] Sensei
    I'm going to sleep for a while.
[22:31] Sensei
    Wake me once we're in town.
[22:36] Sensei
    What a comfortable bed.
[22:38] Tama
    I'm amazed you can sleep in there.
[22:41] Sensei
    Goodnight, Annette-kun and Tama.
[22:44] Tama
    Who are you calling Tama?! My name is—
[22:52] Annette
    He called me by the right name.
[23:03] Annette
    Now, let's go.
[23:04] Tama
    You're a clergy person, right?
[23:06] Tama
    Should you be doing any of this?