E8 - Everybody Has a Secret or Two

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Misaki
    I got basically no sleep last night!
[00:01] Fudo
    Good morning.
[00:02] Haru
    Really?
[00:03] Haru
    G-Good morning, Senpai!
[00:05] Misaki
    Morning.
[00:06] Misaki
    Oh, Fudo.
[00:08] Misaki
    Here, it's addressed to you.
[00:10] Misaki
    You can tell, right? I've got
    major bags under my eyes.
[00:13] Haru
    I can see them!
[00:14] Haru
    It's so important to get
    proper sleep at night.
[00:19] Haru
    Senpai?
[00:20] Misaki
    What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost.
[00:22] Fudo
    N-N-Nothing!
SIGN    I know everything
[00:30] Fudo
    Desumi-san, we've got a problem.
SIGN    Episode 8 Everybody Has a Secret or Two
[02:07] Friend A
    You're so awesome, Desumi.
[02:09] Friend A
    You always make your own lunches?
[02:11] Desumi
    It's not so hard once you get used to it.
[02:13] Friend A
    Really?
[02:23] Anna
    Sorry, Desucchi. Mouth slipped.
[02:27] Friend B
    Are you all right, Desumi?
SIGN    Rattled...
[02:29] Desumi
    W-Well... I'm pretty used to it by now...
[02:32] Friend A
    That makes it even worse!
SIGN    Terror
[02:35] Anna
    What? You got a problem?
[02:38] Friend A
    No...
[02:40] Kiki
    You bet we got a problem.
[02:44] Kiki
    You're always pickin' on Reaper—
[02:45] Kiki
    on Desumi Magahara.
[02:48] Kiki
    Sounds like someone needs a little
    help learning right from wrong.
[02:51] Friend A
    Student council president!
[02:53] Friend B
    Discipline officer!
SIGN    Beast Princess, A.K.A.
    Kiki Majima
SIGN    Steel Princess, A.K.A.
    Kyoko Kuroyuri
SIGN    Reaper Princess, A.K.A.
    Desumi Magahara
[02:55] Narrator
    Allow me to explain!
[02:56] Narrator
    On Gekko's orders,
[02:58] Narrator
    the Princess Series,
    including Reaper Princess,
[03:02] Narrator
    all attend the same school!
[03:05] Kiki
    And why don't you ever stand up for yourself?
[03:08] Kiki
    Give as good as you get once in a while.
[03:10] Desumi
    Well, it's just a rice ball. No big deal.
[03:13] Kyoko
    Really? It's not?
[03:16] Kiki
    Knock it off! You're gonna
    make everything worse!
[03:20] Kiki
    Well, anyway...
[03:22] Kiki
    Hojo of Class 2-B.
[03:24] Kiki
    Your skirt length, nails, earrings,
    and just about everything else
[03:28] Kiki
    are in violation of school rules!
[03:29] Kiki
    Come to the guidance office later!
[03:30] Anna
    Meh, sounds dumb.
[03:32] Anna
    You guys must be starved
    for romantic attention.
[03:35] Kiki
    Am not!
SIGN    No attention
[03:38] Anna
    When it comes to rice
    balls or anything else...
[03:40] Anna
    I get what I want, no matter what it takes.
[03:47] Anna
    And right now, what I want most is...
[03:52] Anna
    What do you think?
[03:54] Desumi
    Well...
[03:57] Anna
    It's a secret.
[03:58] Anna
    You don't get to know, Desucchi.
[04:03] Kiki
    What's her problem?
[04:05] Kiki
    What kind of loser keeps secrets, anyway?
[04:07] Desumi
    Now, now. Everybody has a secret or two.
[04:10] Kiki
    What?!
[04:11] Kiki
    It's that happy-go-lucky attitude
    that makes you a target, y'know!
SIGN    If you don't want me to make this picture public,
    come to Central Park tomorrow at 8 PM
[04:26] Anna
    Hey!
[04:31] Anna
    You really came, huh? Hilarious.
[04:35] Fudo
    A-Are you the one who sent me this?
[04:40] Anna
    Correct.
[04:41] Anna
    I'm the one who took that picture.
[04:44] Anna
    Red Gelato... Fudo Aikawa.
[04:48] Fudo
    Why in the world are you doing this?
[04:51] Fudo
    Who exactly are you?
[04:54] Anna
    You really think I'm gonna give up my name?
[04:56] Anna
    You've probably guessed by now, but I can
    send out that picture anytime I want.
[05:02] Anna
    That'd be a problem for you, right?
[05:06] Fudo
    Yes, it would be.
[05:09] Anna
    So you're just gonna have
    to do whatever I say.
[05:12] Anna
    Whether you play along or not will decide
    if the picture stays private or—
[05:16] Fudo
    P-Please!
[05:18] Anna
    Uh?
[05:19] Fudo
    Promise that when you publish the picture,
    you'll put a censorship bar over her eyes!
[05:24] Anna
    What?
[05:24] Fudo
    I'm begging you!
[05:26] Anna
    That's the problem?
[05:27] Anna
    You're okay with it going public otherwise?
[05:28] Fudo
    Absolutely!
[05:30] Anna
    That doesn't make sense.
[05:32] Anna
    Your reputation—
[05:33] Fudo
    I don't care about my reputation!
[05:36] Fudo
    But... I really don't want
    to make any trouble for her.
[05:42] Fudo
    And...
[05:43] Fudo
    If the picture were to go out uncensored,
[05:45] Fudo
    she would quickly go viral
    as an angel on earth!
[05:50] Fudo
    Plus, agents would be falling all
    over themselves to recruit her!
[05:53] Fudo
    Idol! Model! Actress!
[05:56] Fudo
    She'll get all kinds of offers,
[05:57] Fudo
    and before I know it, she'll have
    ascended far beyond my reach!
[06:01] Fudo
    It's too terrifying to conceive!
[06:03] Anna
    You're a creepy little man.
[06:06] Anna
    Well, fine.
[06:07] Anna
    One way or another, you don't
    want me leaking it, right?
[06:12] Anna
    Which means you've gotta
    do whatever I tell you.
[06:15] Anna
    Got it?
[06:17] Fudo
    Y-Yes...
[06:18] Anna
    Then you'd better break up with her—
[06:21] Fudo
    I will not!
[06:21] Anna
    Hey!
SIGN    Squeeze
[06:22] Anna
    Since when do you get a
    choice in the whole thing?!
[06:25] Anna
    Don't you get what's going on here?
[06:27] Fudo
    B-But I'd really appreciate
    it if you wouldn't go there!
[06:31] Fudo
    Would you accept an alternative?
[06:32] Anna
    Alternative?
[06:34] Anna
    Well...
[06:37] Anna
    Okay.
SIGN    Record
SIGN    Recording
[06:42] Anna
    Then, tell me you love me!
[06:45] Fudo
    I will not!
[06:46] Anna
    Have a little tact, jerk!
[06:49] Anna
    Fine. I'm gonna call the tabloids.
[06:52] Fudo
    Wait!
[06:53] Fudo
    What exactly are you after here?
[06:56] Fudo
    Are you trying to come between us?
[07:01] Anna
    Oh, shut up.
[07:04] Anna
    Listen up... here's your last chance.
[07:09] Anna
    K-Kiss my hand!
[07:16] Anna
    I'll get a picture of you groveling,
[07:18] Anna
    and make our master-slave relationship clear.
[07:22] Fudo
    Is this the kind of thing
    you called me out for?
[07:24] Anna
    Just do it already!
[07:28] Fudo
    Master-slave relationship?
[07:54] Anna
    I...
[07:55] Anna
    I can't do it!
[07:59] Anna
    It's freaking humiliating!
[08:01] Fudo
    Huh?
[08:02] Anna
    Fine, I'll let you off with a warning!
[08:04] Anna
    But tomorrow, I'm gonna think of way
    more disgusting things for you to do!
[08:07] Anna
    You'd better be ready!
[08:08] Anna
    And if you don't come,
    that picture goes everywhere!
[08:10] Anna
    You big, stupid jerk!
[08:13] Fudo
    Huh?
[08:20] Fudo
    And that's what happened, Desumi-san.
[08:24] Desumi
    Who in the world is she?
[08:27] Fudo
    Well, she didn't give her name,
    so I don't know who she is...
[08:30] Fudo
    But I'm set to meet her again tonight.
[08:33] Desumi
    I'll just have to silence her permanently.
[08:35] Fudo
    Please don't go right to those thoughts!
[08:39] Desumi
    What exactly did she try to get you to do?
[08:42] Fudo
    Oh, well...
[08:44] Fudo
    She wanted me to kiss her hand—
[08:47] Fudo
    But I didn't!
[08:49] Desumi
    Y-You really didn't?
[08:51] Fudo
    I didn't.
[08:52] Desumi
    I'm sorry. Are you okay?
[08:55] Fudo
    I'm fine.
[08:58] Desumi
    A-Anything else?
[08:59] Fudo
    She wanted me to say I love her.
[09:01] Fudo
    She even asked me to break up with you.
[09:07] Fudo
    I haven't the foggiest
    idea what she's thinking.
[09:14] Fudo
    Desumi-san?
[09:16] Desumi
    Fudo...
[09:18] Desumi
    I think she's...
[09:21] Desumi
    in love.
[09:23] Fudo
    In love? With whom?
[09:32] Fudo
    You're not saying...
[09:33] Fudo
    She's in love with me?!
[09:51] Fudo
    It's all right, Desumi-san.
[09:53] Fudo
    There's nothing to worry about.
[09:55] Fudo
    I feel bad for the girl,
[09:57] Fudo
    but I need to make things clear to her.
[10:11] Anna
    Good boy. You actually came!
[10:17] Fudo
    I'm sorry, girl whose name I don't know!
[10:21] Fudo
    I thought it over, and realized how you feel.
[10:28] Fudo
    I truly appreciate the
    feelings you have for me.
[10:31] Anna
    What?
[10:31] Fudo
    I acted truly shameful yesterday.
[10:34] Anna
    Wait—
[10:35] Fudo
    But I cannot return your feelings—
[10:35] Anna
    Stop—
[10:36] Anna
    Stop—
[10:37] Anna
    S...
[10:38] Anna
    Stop!
[10:40] Anna
    What in the world are you talking about?!
[10:42] Fudo
    But you're in love, aren't you?
[10:44] Anna
    What?!
[10:45] Fudo
    With me?
[10:47] Anna
    Heck no! I'm in love with Desucchi!
[10:52] Anna
    Crap! I said it out loud!
[10:55] (Flashback) Mob A
    Wow, she's so tacky.
[10:57] (Flashback) Mob B
    Bet she's easy.
[10:58] (Flashback) Mob C
    She's kinda scary.
[10:59] (Flashback) Mob D
    She'd blow her top over nothing.
[11:01] (Flashback) Mob D
    Better stay away.
[11:08] (Flashback) Desumi
    Oh, wow! I love your nails!
[11:11] (Flashback) Desumi
    Oh, sorry to ambush you.
[11:13] (Flashback) Desumi
    But I always want to do mine that way,
     and it never turns out right!
[11:19] (Flashback) Anna
    Oh... yeah?
[11:22] (Flashback) Desumi
    I'm Desumi Magahara.
[11:24] (Flashback) Desumi
    Nice to meet you!
[11:30] Anna
    Desucchi was so honest and innocent.
    I've had a huge crush on her ever since.
[11:42] Anna
    No reaction, huh?
[11:45] Anna
    Sorry to besmirch your pure little
    Desucchi with my unworthy feelings!
[11:49] Fudo
    Nothing to be sorry for!
[11:51] Fudo
    I was just thinking, you have
     incredibly good taste!
[11:55] Fudo
    I'm so glad to meet someone else
    who sees how amazing she is!
[12:00] Fudo
    I know!
[12:01] Fudo
    Want to stay up all night and
    talk about how great she is?!
[12:07] Fudo
    Well?
[12:12] Anna
    You're so weird.
[12:15] Anna
    Talking sounds fun, but I'll pass for now.
[12:19] Anna
    We're still kinda like rivals, you know?
[12:24] Anna
    Hey, Red Gelato...
[12:26] Anna
    No, Fudocchi.
[12:28] Fudo
    "Fudocchi"?
[12:29] Anna
    Sorry about all the trouble I made.
[12:32] Anna
    I'm probably gonna keep
    making trouble, just FYI.
[12:36] Fudo
    R-Right...
[12:39] Anna
    I'm kind of self-centered,
    I'm a little perverse...
[12:42] Anna
    And...
[12:44] Anna
    I just never know when to quit.
[12:49] Anna
    Besides, Desucchi and
    I have a secret connection.
[12:55] Anna
    My own little secret that
    even Desucchi doesn't know.
[13:00] Anna
    Better keep your guard up,
    or I'll steal her from you!
[13:04] Anna
    See ya!
[13:06] Fudo
    A secret?
[13:11] Beast
    A meeting this early in
    the morning? I've got the worst luck.
[13:15] Steel
    The early bird gets the worm, Beast-san.
[13:18] Beast
    Don't lecture me when I'm the
    one who had to wake you up.
[13:21] Beast
    Sheesh...
[13:24] Beast
    Hey, Heat.
[13:36] Beast
    What's up with her? Learn some
     basic manners already.
[13:39] Desumi
    Don't say that, Beast.
[13:41] Beast
    No one's ever seen her face or
    heard her real voice, right?
[13:45] Beast
    I don't trust her.
[13:47] Desumi
    I think it's just fine.
[13:49] Desumi
    Everybody has a secret or two.
[13:52] Beast
    Oh? Does that mean you're
    hiding something, Reaper?
[13:55] Desumi
    What? O-Of course not!
[14:02] Anna
    My own little secret that
    even Desucchi doesn't know.
[14:10] Anna
    Desucchi is as adorable as ever!
SIGN    Gekko Princess Series
    Heat Princess
    Anna Hojo
[14:19] Desumi
    Love After World Domination!
[14:32] Desumi
    I'm so nervous!
[14:33] Fudo
    It's all right, Desumi-san.
[14:35] Fudo
    Believe in us!
[14:39] App
    Your compatibility rating is 98%!
[14:43] Desumi
    Isn't that great, Fudo—
[14:45] Desumi
    Why do you look so unhappy?
[14:48] Fudo
    It wasn't 100%...
[14:51] Desumi
    You're so hard on yourself.
[14:53] Haru
    Excuse me, could I drop in?
[14:55] Desumi
    What is it, Haru?
[14:58] Haru
    Desumi-san.
[15:00] Haru
    Does Gekko have any attack plans tomorrow?
[15:04] Desumi
    This is off the record, okay?
[15:05] Desumi
    Bosslar-sama won't be in tomorrow,
    so all attacks are off!
[15:09] Haru
    Awesome!
[15:11] Haru
    So, Fudo-senpai,
[15:13] Haru
    can you help me study tomorrow?
[15:15] Haru
    Finals are coming up,
    and I haven't done any test prep!
[15:18] Fudo
    Sure, that's fine.
[15:21] Desumi
    Wait, Fudo, are you a really good student?
[15:24] Haru
    Despite how he looks, Senpai is
    always in the top ten for his year!
[15:28] Haru
    Despite how he looks!
[15:29] Desumi
    That's awesome!
[15:31] Fudo
    How exactly do I look?
SIGN    How exactly
    do I look?
[15:32] Fudo
    Very well!
[15:33] Fudo
    We'll have a study hangout tomorrow.
[15:35] Haru
    Thank you!
[15:45] Haru
    Are you bad at school too, Desumi-san?
[15:49] Desumi
    Y-Yes...
[15:51] Haru
    Then let's make it a threesome!
[15:53] Haru
    But if we do that, we won't
    be able to do it at HQ...
[15:58] Desumi
    Let's do it at my place, then!
[16:02] Haru
    What?
SIGN    Gekko
SIGN    The
    Next
    Day
[16:07] Haru
    Desumi-san... is this...
[16:10] Desumi
    The Gekko women's dormitory!
[16:11] Haru
    That's what I thought!
[16:13] Haru
    Come on, this is way too dangerous!
[16:15] Haru
    Right, Senpai?
SIGN    Walking on air
[16:16] Fudo
    Desumi-san's room. Desumi-san's room.
    Desumi-san's room. Desumi-san's room...
[16:18] Haru
    Never mind. He's already walking on air.
[16:22] Desumi
    Don't worry, Haru.
[16:24] Desumi
    Just put this on, and you'll be fine!
[16:26] Haru
    You really think it'll be that easy?
[16:31] Desumi
    You have it on backwards!
[16:34] Haru
    I'm so scared...
[16:36] Receptionist
    What's the password?
[16:37] Desumi
    Briar rose!
[16:38] Receptionist
    You may pass!
[16:46] Female Combatant
    Kii!
[16:47] Haru
    K-Kii!
[16:49] Desumi
    Okay, we're here!
[16:51] Haru
    Shouldn't your security be
    a little tighter than this?
[17:00] Haru
    Desumi-san, your room is so cute!
[17:03] Fudo
    At last...
[17:05] Fudo
    At last, I have reached the promised land!
[17:09] Fudo
    The holy ground I previously
    only saw in video calls!
[17:14] Fudo
    It smells like Desumi-san!
[17:18] Fudo
    Never mind the studying, let's—
[17:28] Fudo
    Sorry, I lost control there.
[17:30] Fudo
    Let's begin studying.
[17:36] Both
    Fudo-sensei, thank you for the lesson!
[17:39] Fudo
    Thank you both for coming!
SIGN    Math II
SIGN    Year 2 Term 2 Midterm Answer Sheet
     2-A Desumi Magahara
[17:49] Haru
    All perfect scores!
[17:51] Haru
    Hang on! You're awesome at school!
[17:53] Fudo
    What's going on here, Desumi-san?
[17:58] Haru
    Did you just want to study with us?
[18:01] Desumi
    Y-Yes...
[18:03] Fudo
    Oh so cute!
SIGN    Oh so cute
[18:04] Haru
    So I'm the only hopeless one here?
[18:07] Fudo
    As charming as this is, rules are rules.
[18:09] Desumi
    Very well. Go on and do it!
[18:13] Fudo
    Thwap.
SIGN    Thwap
[18:15] Desumi
    I got a strike for lying.
[18:17] Haru
    So cute!
[18:21] Desumi
    I'm sorry for lying to you about
    being bad at school, Haru.
SIGN    Shame...
[18:25] Desumi
    I'm actually very good at school!
[18:27] Haru
    That apology wasn't great.
[18:30] Desumi
    Then let's try again!
[18:37] Desumi
    We'll both teach you!
[18:38] Haru
    Yeah! I'm gonna learn so much!
[18:47] Fudo
    That's not the way, now.
[18:49] Fudo
    That's not going to get you to the answer.
[18:52] Fudo
    Imagine that the value of
    X is the bicep brachii.
[18:58] Fudo
    What does that make Y?
[19:02] Haru
    I don't know.
[19:03] Fudo
    The forearm flexors, of course!
[19:07] Fudo
    Now solve the next problem,
    supposing that X is your deltoid.
[19:11] Haru
    I can't solve it—
[19:12] Fudo
    Bear in mind its connection
    to the pectoralis major!
[19:16] Fudo
    If you can't sort it out, drawing out
     the anatomy might help.
[19:18] Haru
    Drawing the anatomy?!
[19:22] Fudo
    Yes! That should do it!
[19:24] Haru
    Crap!
[19:25] Haru
    I read so much BL, I actually did it!
[19:27] Fudo
    The connection between math
    and muscles is inseparable.
[19:32] Fudo
    Everything makes more sense when you liken
[19:34] Fudo
    the beauty of solving equations
    to well-strengthened muscles.
[19:34] Haru
    Help me, Desumi-san!
[19:37] Fudo
    Just as muscles connect in a
    beautiful way, the numbers—
[19:40] Desumi
    Hey, come on. You're just confusing her.
[19:43] Desumi
    Let me teach her.
[19:46] Desumi
    Don't overthink it!
[19:48] Desumi
    All you need for math problems is spirit!
[19:50] Desumi
    Just fill in that formula, wham!
[19:58] Haru
    Which formula, exactly?
[20:00] Desumi
    You know, the wobbly one!
[20:02] Desumi
    With the smooth lines in it.
[20:05] Desumi
    Then give it a wha-chock and the
    answer will come out like yeah!
[20:07] Haru
    Ah.
[20:09] Fudo
    Liken it to the parallel curves
    of the trapezius and the deltoids!
[20:10] Haru
    They're awful teachers.
[20:10] Desumi
    Just wham those numbers
    down in front of you,
[20:11] Fudo
    Understanding muscles will deepen
    your understanding of math!
[20:12] Desumi
    and don't be afraid to smack that
    formula in there right after!
[20:14] Desumi
    Timing is important there.
[20:14] Fudo
    Similarly, understanding muscles
    means understanding math!
[20:16] Desumi
    Sometimes they get you on your heels,
[20:17] Fudo
    There's nothing else to it!
[20:18] Desumi
    but just make sure to stay flexible
    and they'll tap out eventually,
[20:18] Fudo
    Additionally, likening unequal equations
    to the biceps femoris is quite famous—
[20:20] Haru
    Um...
[20:20] Desumi
    so pay close attention to—
[20:21] Haru
    I should probably go.
[20:24] Desumi
    You've got it down already?
[20:26] Desumi
    Haru's such a quick learner!
[20:28] Fudo
    We must be great teachers!
[20:33] Haru
    I really envy you two.
[20:35] Haru
    You'll have your choice of university.
[20:39] Desumi
    University?
[20:40] Haru
    I've gotta work hard to
    get into my first choice!
SIGN    Hmph
[20:44] Fudo
    Happy to help anytime. Just ask.
[20:48] Haru
    Thanks for everything.
[20:51] Haru
    I'll be going now.
[20:53] Desumi
    Sure thing. See you again!
[21:09] Fudo
    Alone with Desumi-san in her room...
[21:12] Fudo
    I suddenly feel so nervous.
[21:18] Fudo
    What's wrong?
[21:19] Fudo
    You look strangely serious.
[21:21] Desumi
    Sorry.
[21:22] Desumi
    I was just thinking about what Haru said.
[21:28] Desumi
    Fudo, are you moving on to
    university after high school?
[21:32] Fudo
    Yes.
[21:34] Fudo
    I want to study education.
[21:38] Fudo
    And someday, I want to become an elementary
    school teacher and teach children.
[21:44] Fudo
    I want to be a hero-slash-teacher.
[21:51] Fudo
    Desumi-san, do you have
    a goal for the future?
[21:56] Desumi
    I...
[21:58] Desumi
    I want to go to the same university you do.
[22:02] Desumi
    I want a front-row seat to you
    making your dream come true.
[22:08] Desumi
    That's a goal I just came up with.
[22:11] Fudo
    Desumi-san...
[22:15] Desumi
    But I think my father would
    probably be really against it.
[22:20] Desumi
    I think he expects me to go full-time
    with Gekko after I graduate high school.
[22:27] Fudo
    Hey, if it comes to that,
    I'll convince your father!
[22:32] Desumi
    I can always count on you!
[22:36] Desumi
    I hope we can go together, Fudo.
[22:40] Fudo
    I know we will.
[22:42] Fudo
    Even someone like me can become a hero.
[22:45] Fudo
    There's no goal that can't be reached.
[22:48] Desumi
    Yeah.
[22:56] Desumi
    Oh, I bet that's Haru.
[22:58] Desumi
    Maybe she forgot something!
[23:07] Desumi's father
    Desumi-sensei!
[23:09] Desumi's father
    It's your daddy!
[23:10] Desumi's father
    Came to see ya in person for once!
[23:12] Desumi's father
    I brought torimon, too!
[23:15] Fudo
    This is... not good.
[23:17] Desumi's father
    Open up already!
[23:20] Fudo
    Desumi-san!
[23:22] Hellko
    Hey.
[23:23] Fudo
    Desumi-san!
[23:25] Hellko
    Are you listening?
[23:26] Fudo
    Desumi-san!
[23:28] Hellko
    Shut up!
[23:32] Hellko
    Next episode is, "My Big Sister Has Changed."
SIGN    Episode 9 My Big Sister Has Changed
[23:37] Hellko
    Get it now?
[23:38] Fudo
    Yes.