1 - Hakone-chan Arrives!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Tohya
    This is the top hot spring town
    in the prefecture, Hakone Yumoto.
[00:04] Tohya
    There's a well in my backyard.
[00:07] Tohya
    It's said that there's a spirit
    protecting the hot springs.
[00:11] Tohya
    My daily chores include cleaning up,
[00:14] Tohya
    and making offerings and wishes.
[00:17] Tohya
    I pray that I can get closer to Haruna-nee.
[00:26] Tohya
    Shoot, I dropped it in the well!
[00:33] Hakone
    I am Hakone, the master of this well.
SIGN    Episode 1 Hakone-chan Arrives!
[01:07] Hakone
    You were the one who brought
    this offering, were you not?
[01:10] Hakone
    I give you my praise.
[01:11] Tohya
    This kid's being weird.
[01:14] Tohya
    Not to mention arrogant.
[01:16] Tohya
    This is a nasty prank,
    but it's just a kid, so...
[01:20] Tohya
    Yeah, that steam bun is my—
[01:23] Tohya
    You're eating it?!
[01:24] Hakone
    Huh?
[01:25] Tohya
    Don't "huh" me.
[01:26] Tohya
    You shouldn't eat that offering.
[01:29] Hakone
    Why should I not eat it?
[01:31] Hakone
    It is delicious.
[01:32] Tohya
    Of course it is.
[01:33] Tohya
    Our hot spring steamed buns are exquisite.
[01:36] Hakone
    You are rather fussy for a man.
[01:39] Hakone
    That is why you end up having to
    make wishes for help with women.
[01:44] Tohya
    How does she know about my wish?
[01:46] Tohya
    It can't be...
[01:48] Tohya
    She's not actually the spirit
    of the hot springs, is she?
[01:50] Hakone
    Really, though.
[01:52] Hakone
    The steamed buns are delicious.
[01:54] Hakone
    Give me more.
[01:55] Tohya
    You're asking for seconds?!
[01:56] Hakone
    I shall keep your wish a secret if
    you give me another steamed bun.
[02:00] Tohya
    Are you blackmailing me?!
[02:03] Tohya
    Fine.
[02:05] Tohya
    I'll give you steamed buns. Come with me.
[02:07] Hakone
    Choose your actions wisely.
SIGN    Kumamoto Shrine
[02:08] Tohya
    I'll drive her away when I get the chance.
[02:11] Haruna
    Tohya.
[02:13] Tohya
    Haruna-nee.
[02:14] Haruna
    Coming home from cleaning?
[02:16] Haruna
    Hey, who's the girl? She's cute.
[02:18] Hakone
    I am Hakone, the spirit of the hot springs.
[02:20] Haruna
    The spirit of the hot springs?
[02:22] Haruna
    You mean the one enshrined at the well?
[02:25] Haruna
    Oh yeah, I've heard about her.
[02:27] Haruna
    Apparently the spirit of
    the hot springs here is
[02:29] Haruna
    super beautiful, and she has a nice body.
SIGN    Ahem
[02:32] Hakone
    Indeed.
[02:33] Hakone
    Ahem.
[02:35] Haruna
    Not her, is it?
[02:36] Tohya
    Nope.
[02:37] Hakone
    Do not underestimate me, human!
[02:38] Hakone
    I'm just weak from my long slumber!
[02:42] Hakone
    My real form is transcendental!
[02:45] Hakone
    Believe me!
[02:46] Haruna
    You're just a kid.
[02:48] Haruna
    You don't have to worry about your body.
[02:51] Haruna
    You're the spirit that's been protecting
    this well for us, aren't you?
[02:55] Haruna
    Thank you.
[02:58] Hakone
    You're a good person.
[02:59] [SONG] Text
    Mediocre
[03:00] Hakone
    This mediocre man doesn't deserve you.
[03:03] Hakone
    You, there aren't many such attractive women.
[03:06] Hakone
    Make her yours while you can.
[03:08] Hakone
    I shall help you.
[03:17] Tohya
    Ow... Huh?
[03:22] Tohya
    It's soft.
[03:24] Haruna
    Tohya.
[03:27] Hakone
    Oh, to be young.