8 - Level 08: In Pursuit of the "Straht'ehgee Gyde"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:43] Y
    Alfa!
SIGN    Previously on gdMen
[00:43] Light
    Previously on gd Men.
[00:46] L
    Seriously?
[00:47] L
    Alfa? Hey, Alfa!
[00:49] Y
    This is bad! There's no life
    energy in Alfa anymore!
[00:52] L
    No way, man...
[00:53] L
    Alfa! Come on, snap out of it!
[00:55] L
    Alfa! Alfa!
SIGN    Level 08: In Pursuit of the "Straht'ehgee Gyde"
[01:03] L
    Damn it! Take this!
[01:06] Y
    I'm running low on MP! What do we do, Light?!
[01:10] L
    There's nothing else we can do!
[01:12] L
    We can't leave until we beat this
    thing and get that magic book!
[01:17] Y
    The magic book that can revive Alfa after
    his emergency shutdown, Straht'ehgee Gyde?
[01:22] L
    Right! So don't give up!
[01:26] Y
    Light!
[01:27] L
    We're rescuing our buddy with the sexy voice!
[01:35] L
    Take that you piece of crap!
    How you like that, dirty bastard?!
[01:42] Y
    Let's revive him, quick!
[01:47] L
    Okay... there is a way to revive
    him in the Straht'ehgee Gyde.
[01:51] L
    I guess we'll start with the
    author's foreword. Let's see...
[01:56] Y
    Really?!
[01:57] L
    "If you've purchased this book,
[01:59] L
    I'm sure the struggles of society
    have got you anxious about life."
[02:02] Y
    Wow, talk about realistic.
[02:03] L
    Yeah.
[02:05] L
    Let's see...
[02:05] L
    "The name of your comrade who stopped
    functioning the other day is Alfa."
[02:11] Y
    It knows that?
[02:13] L
    Oh, yeah, it was Alfa!
[02:15] L
    I didn't recognize him with the sexy voice.
[02:19] Y
    Who cares about that?!
    Find out how to revive him already!
[02:22] L
    Man, shut up! I already know that.
[02:23] L
    Reviving him, huh?
[02:25] L
    Let's see... oh, here we go!
[02:28] Y
    What's it say?
[02:29] L
    "He must receive a kiss from
    one of his traveling friends."
[02:33] L
    That's simpler than I figured.
[02:35] Y
    A kiss from a friend?
[02:37] L
    There you go. Get on it.
[02:39] L
    Go on, there's no time to waste.
    Get with the mouth to mouth.
[02:42] Y
    Why me?! Couldn't you do it, too, Light?
[02:45] L
    I'm not his friend, though.
[02:47] Y
    What the heck?!
[02:48] Y
    Then let's make it fair and square
    with rock-paper-scissors!
[02:51] L
    Rock-paper-scissors?
[02:52] L
    Man, fine, we're running out
    of time, let's get a move on.
[02:55] L
    By the way, I'm gonna throw scissors first.
[02:56] Y
    Hey, cut that out!
[02:58] L
    Here we go, rock, paper...
[02:59] Both
    ...scissors!
[03:02] Y
    No way...
[03:04] L
    They say reality is stranger
    than fiction, y'know.
[03:06] L
    You lost. Get to it.
[03:09] Y
    No.
[03:10] Y
    I actually don't want to.
[03:11] L
    Damn it! You wanna leave one
    of our comrades for dead?!
[03:16] L
    Y'know, I wanted to do it,
    but I won at rock-paper-scissors!
[03:21] L
    Can't you understand how
    frustrated I must feel?!
[03:23] Y
    Fine... I get it.
[03:26] L
    Good! Now, go hog wild down there.
[03:30] Y
    It's to... save Alfa, so...
[03:41] L
    Eek!
[03:51] A
    What's gotten into you, boy?!
[03:52] L
    So, so like, how's it feel?
[03:54] L
    How's it feel?
[03:55] L
    Were your lips touching?
[03:56] L
    I bet they were!
[03:57] L
    Was that your first kiss?
[03:59] Y
    Oh, shut up!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[04:04] Trio
    gd Men...
[04:10] Melody
    Hero's not here. Still not here, today.
[04:12] Melody
    I'm getting tired of this cell.
[04:14] Melody
    I'm hitting the limit..
[04:16] Melody
    I got nothing to do... whatum gonna do?
[04:20] Melody
    "Whatum gonna do"! It's like I'm going crazy!
[04:27] Melody
    Seriously, is there anything to do?
[04:29] Melody
    There's nothing in here!
    All I see are these stupid stones!
[04:32] Melody
    Oh, is this stone heart shaped?
[04:35] Melody
    Oh, wow, how cute!
[04:37] Melody
    This one is kind of like a bear!
[04:39] Melody
    Wow, looking for shapes in the
    stones might be crazy fun!
[04:43] Melody
    Or I'm just crazy bored!
[04:44] Melody
    Oh, this one is super cute!
[04:47] Melody
    It's like the Abenobashi Terminal Building!
    They look so much alike!
[04:52] Melody
    Because it's just a long rectangle?!
[04:54] Melody
    What am I doing?!
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[04:59] Trio
    gd Men.
[05:05] Y
    Oh, it's glowing.
[05:06] L
    I've been waiting for this!
[05:07] A
    Someone sounds confident.
[05:12] Y
    That's gross...
[05:13] L
    Ew...
[05:14] L
    He's just in his underpants.
[05:16] A
    Just the underpants! Just the underpants.
[05:17] L
    Just the underpants.
[05:18] Y
    Just the underpants.
    Mr. Just The Underpants.
[05:19] L
    Mr. Just the underpants?
[05:20] L
    Chief Just the underpants..
[05:21] L
    Ew!
[05:22] A
    Something about the way he moves
    is disturbingly realistic...
[05:26] L
    I see...
[05:28] Y
    I wish he wouldn't raise his leg like that.
[05:28] A
    Couldn't he put a robe on...?
[05:31] Y
    Makes you think you're
    gonna see... something.
[05:33] A
    People like this tend to want to show off.
[05:34] Y
    Seriously?
[05:35] A
    We're doing this again... What to do?
[05:38] A
    Okay, I'll go first.
[05:40] L
    Go for it.
[05:41] A
    I'll do it but I think I
    might get in trouble...
[05:42] ---
    Good luck.
[05:44] A
    Lalalala, lalalala, *******
    to the ****** **** Park!
[05:51] A
    Lalalala, lalalala!
[05:54] A
    I wonder when they're going to call
    me to be on Kedamono Friends...
[05:59] Y
    They're not going to!
[06:01] A
    I bet they would, if it was
    Kedamono Friends instead!
[06:04] A
    Considering how much rhythm he has,
    he'd get to be in the opening, I bet.
[06:07] Y
    I guess he was moving smoothly.
[06:08] A
    That's right.
[06:10] A
    Yep.
[06:12] L
    This is bad... we're in so much trouble...
[06:15] A
    Like I care!
[06:18] L
    Okay, me!
[06:18] A
    Right, good luck!
[06:21] L
    La dah dee la dah dee la dee dah dah,
[06:25] L
    la dah dee la dah dee la dee dah dah,
[06:29] L
    la dah dee—
    What are you looking at, Mr. Hero?!
[06:36] Y
    Who? Who? Who was that?
[06:37] A
    I think he doesn't get the reference.
[06:39] L
    You don't?!
[06:42] L
    You didn't watch Guru Guru?!
[06:43] A
    There it is!
[06:43] Y
    I see!
[06:46] A
    There it is.
[06:47] Y
    Makes sense now, yeah.
[06:47] L
    It's like Old Man North North.
[06:49] A
    When you actually put it that
    way, I can see the resemblance.
[06:52] A
    Old Man North North?
[06:52] L
    He doesn't actually resemble him!
[06:53] A
    Oh, no?
[06:59] Y
    Okay!
[07:01] L
    Yomi?
[07:02] Y
    I'll go now.
[07:05] Y
    This summer, a new brand of air
    conditioner is going on sale!
[07:08] Y
    Feel the moist, warm air flow from
    a single underpants-clad crotch!
[07:16] Y
    ...I guess I finished that too soon.
[07:19] A
    That was the only thing
    they had to advertise.
SIGN    Preview
[08:02] A
    Yomi-kun, can you translate
    "kiss me" into Japanese?
[08:04] Y
    Isn't it just "kiss me"?
[08:07] A
    That's what I thought.
[08:08] A
    I overheard Light-senpai
    saying "kiss me" just now.
[08:12] Y
    Huh?! Who did he say "kiss me" to?
[08:14] L
    Both of you, your pronunciation
    is horrible! It's "kiss me."
[08:17] A
    Light-san!
[08:18] A
    Next episode, "The gdmotive of a Twist!"
SIGN    The gdmotive of a Twist!
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Perfect body.
SIGN    Perfect body.
[08:28] Yomi
    That is obviously not happening.