2 - Level 02: What's the Princess Like!?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:44] Red
    At last, we're here!
SIGN    Level 02: What's the Princess Like!?
[00:46] Red
    It was a long journey.
[00:49] Blue
    Really? It doesn't seem
    like it's been that long.
[00:51] Yellow
    I feel like we kind of
    got here pretty casually.
[00:54] Red
    What, are you telling me you can't tell?
[00:57] Red
    This...
[00:57] Yellow
    What?
[01:00] Red
    This...
[01:01] Red
    Oh, come on, we're about to enter a dungeon!
[01:05] Red
    Get in the mood, man!
[01:07] Yellow
    Do we need to do that stuff?
[01:09] Red
    We do!
[01:10] Red
    It's important!
[01:10] Red
    Setting the mood is awesome!
[01:11] Red
    You guys suck!
[01:12] Blue
    I'm starting to feel sorry for him.
[01:14] Blue
    We should play along.
[01:16] Yellow
    Let's find a different way to make it fun.
[01:19] Yellow
    I mean, I'm stuck in this world forever.
[01:22] Yellow
    You guys were born and raised in residential
    towns in Ohmori and Yokohama, right?
[01:26] Yellow
    Would you get excited adventuring there?
[01:29] Yellow
    Well?
[01:31] Blue
    You make it easy to understand.
[01:33] Red
    Damn it...
[01:34] Red
    I have nothing to say.
[01:36] Yellow
    Right?
[01:36] Yellow
    Too true, right? Lawl.
[01:39] Red
    Then what do you recommend?
[01:40] Red
    Give us a suggestion.
[01:41] Yellow
    Then let's fantasize about what
    the princess might be like.
[01:46] Blue
    Huh?
[01:46] Red
    Dude, you don't know what
    the princess looks like?
[01:49] Blue
    I thought you served her.
[01:51] Yellow
    Someone deleted that data.
[01:54] Red
    Seriously?
[01:55] Yellow
    Seriously.
[01:56] Blue
    I do wonder what the
    princess is like, though.
[01:59] Red
    Well, she's obviously a
    girl with Nagoya curls.
[02:02] Red
    And she's good at making acqua pazza.
[02:04] Red
    I'm sure of it.
[02:04] Blue
    What? That's so specific.
[02:06] Red
    And the ponytail she wears
    every now and then...
[02:09] Red
    Hot damn!
[02:10] Yellow
    Oh, I see.
[02:12] Yellow
    Guys like dangly things.
[02:14] Blue
    Huh? Really?
[02:15] Yellow
    Meanwhile, I like Marunouchi-style,
[02:17] Yellow
    soft, endearing beauties with
    light curls and natural makeup.
[02:20] Blue
    Wait, say what?
[02:22] Yellow
    You know, someone who could
    pull off an off-shoulder top.
[02:25] Yellow
    Come on, man.
[02:26] Blue
    I totally don't get it!
[02:27] Yellow
    Quit blabbering.
[02:29] Yellow
    What's your type, son?
[02:32] Blue
    Huh? What?
[02:33] Blue
    Is he really asking my type?
[02:35] Red
    What's your type, Yomi?
[02:37] Blue
    I've never thought about it.
[02:40] Blue
    I think whomever I fall in
    love with would be my type.
[02:46] Blue
    Say something!
[02:47] Red
    All right, we'll come up with a
    type that might be good for you.
[02:50] Yellow
    I know what you like, son.
[02:53] Red
    A studious, school council president-type.
[02:55] Yellow
    But who still hasn't stopped wetting her bed.
[02:59] Yellow
    A family-oriented, old-school
    girl that's not like the others.
[03:02] Red
    And the floor's drenched every time she
    wipes her hand after using the washroom.
[03:07] Yellow
    But then again, she's in the archery club,
    and she's got both brains and brawn.
[03:10] Yellow
    She looks good in a hakama.
[03:12] Blue
    Yeah, that could work for me.
[03:14] Red
    She's even the top arm-wrestler in the world!
[03:16] Blue
    That's way too strong.
[03:17] Red
    She's like an Australopithecus-type
    who's almost human.
[03:21] Red
    Oh, forget it.
[03:23] Red
    You're way too picky, Yomi!
[03:24] ---
    What?!
[03:24] Yellow
    Yup.
[03:25] Yellow
    Let's go.
[03:26] Red
    This is why I hate kids.
[03:29] Blue
    Come on!
[03:30] Blue
    That's not even fair!
[03:32] Blue
    That's not my type!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[03:36] ---
    gd Men.
[03:41] Pink
    I'm going to start a blog.
[03:44] Pink
    You only live once.
[03:45] Pink
    You gotta keep a record if you're ever
    confined. It doesn't happen every day.
[03:49] Pink
    I'm actually dying to post photogenic
    photos of myself on Instagram, but...
[03:56] Pink
    There's nothing photogenic here.
[03:58] Pink
    Like, metal, stone, metal...
[04:00] Pink
    Seriously, they've got such bad taste!
[04:02] Pink
    Photogenify!
[04:03] Pink
    Photogenericy!
[04:04] Pink
    Wait, what even does "photogenic" mean?
[04:07] Pink
    I've been saying it without even knowing?
[04:10] Pink
    That's hilarious!
[04:11] Pink
    I know what "photo" means,
    but what the heck is "genic"?
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[04:19] ---
    gd Men!
[04:23] Blue
    The wand's glowing again.
[04:25] Red
    Let's have some fun again, then.
[04:27] Yellow
    Sweet.
[04:29] Yellow
    What is this creature?
[04:30] Red
    Damn.
[04:31] Red
    It's legit dancing.
[04:33] Yellow
    It looks strong.
[04:33] Yellow
    That was fast.
[04:34] Red
    So short.
[04:35] Blue
    That was a blink.
[04:37] Yellow
    But being simple makes it easy, in a way.
[04:41] Blue
    Seriously?
[04:42] Red
    This is a test of your spontaneity.
[04:43] Yellow
    Oh, I know.
[04:44] Red
    Do you have one, Alfa?
[04:47] Yellow
    Alfa's got one.
[04:48] Red
    Bring it!
[04:48] Yellow
    This is a cool one.
[04:49] Yellow
    All right.
[04:50] Yellow
    Here we go.
[04:53] A
    Yo, Isono, let's play baseball!
[04:55] B
    Guts-oniichan's not here right now.
[04:57] A
    Oh.
[05:00] Red
    Dude...
[05:00] Blue
    Wait, those are balls?
[05:01] Red
    Are you okay?
[05:04] Yellow
    Dunno.
[05:05] Blue
    So those are balls?
[05:06] Red
    Okay, so I have an idea.
[05:10] Red
    Can I?
[05:11] Yellow
    Sure.
[05:11] Yellow
    I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
[05:13] Yellow
    Go for it.
[05:15] Red
    Look!
[05:16] Red
    It's the Kobold Lord!
[05:18] Red
    Starburst Stream!
[05:23] Yellow
    You played your own character.
[05:25] Red
    The enemy kind of reminded me of it, so...
[05:26] Blue
    Oh, I see.
[05:28] Yellow
    Now that you mention it...
[05:29] Red
    Yeah.
[05:30] Yellow
    Yeah, it's from the very beginning.
[05:32] Red
    Yeah.
[05:32] Red
    I don't know if I'm allowed to name
    the reference, but Episode 2.
[05:34] Red
    He fights it with the waifu.
[05:39] Yellow
    I don't even care anymore.
[05:41] Yellow
    Okay, Yomi, ready?
[05:42] Blue
    Hang on.
[05:44] Red
    Anything goes now.
[05:46] Red
    We might have to do a retake, though.
[05:49] Blue
    Okay, then, here I go.
[05:51] Yellow
    Go for it.
[05:53] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:54] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:55] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:55] Blue
    Right hand down!
[05:58] Red
    Seriously?
[06:00] Red
    That's cheap, Yomi.
[06:02] Yellow
    Dude, you're taking advantage
    of your character.
[06:08] Blue
    Next.
[06:12] Yellow
    I know this.
[06:14] Red
    They're so slow.
[06:15] Yellow
    No, that one was too simple.
[06:17] Yellow
    I don't know what to do.
[06:18] Red
    I know already.
[06:20] Red
    I'd rather get this over with.
[06:23] Yellow
    All right, Light, go for it.
[06:24] Red
    All right.
[06:27] Red
    No running, please!
[06:29] Red
    Please walk when you're inside the venue!
[06:34] Red
    Right?
[06:35] Red
    You know, like, they do that kind of
    thing a lot at that place in Makuhari.
[06:40] Yellow
    Gotcha.
[06:40] Yellow
    Okay, I'll go next.
[06:43] Yellow
    Hurry, hurry!
[06:44] Yellow
    That way!
[06:46] Yellow
    They still have the Nintendo Switch in stock!
[06:48] Red
    Wait a second.
[06:49] Red
    That's not safe.
[06:50] Red
    That's really not safe.
[06:52] Yellow
    They're probably going to bleep that one.
[06:55] Blue
    They're so hard to find.
[06:56] Yellow
    They are.
[06:58] Blue
    Okay, here I go.
[07:01] Blue
    Oh, this is *** from when
    Mori-kun was around.
[07:07] Red
    Dude!
[07:09] Blue
    That one's definitely out!
[07:11] Yellow
    Man...
[07:14] Yellow
    To be honest, I have no idea what you're
    talking about, coming from this world.
[07:16] Blue
    Yeah, okay...
[07:19] Yellow
    All right, here I go.
[07:23] Yellow
    Damn it, Mom, I told you to
    wake me up in the morning!
[07:28] Red
    Damn.
[07:28] Blue
    And it was a group.
[07:28] Red
    A what-tuplets?
[07:30] Yellow
    Well, um...
[07:31] Blue
    Six?
[07:31] Blue
    Sextuplets?
[07:32] Red
    Sextuplets?
[07:34] Blue
    Somethingmatsu-san.
[07:35] Yellow
    Yeah.
[07:35] Yellow
    Whatchamatsu-san.
[07:37] Yellow
    I should really level up a bit.
[07:40] Blue
    Level up in what?
SIGN    Preview
[08:15] Yellow
    I wonder, which of you will
    be able to satisfy me?
[08:17] Red
    I'll satisfy you for sure!
[08:19] Blue
    Fine! Bring on the fight!
[08:21] Blue
    Don't underestimate a kid!
SIGN    Next time, Third Skate:
SIGN    Light is Eros, Eros is Yomi!?
SIGN    The Third Skate
    Light is Eros, Eros is Yomi!?
    gd Men On Ice
SIGN    gd Men On Ice.
[08:28] Blue
    Of course not!