2 - Freebie Honey

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] ---
    "Bow wow!" You can't
    bark like that anymore.
[00:08] ---
    Because everything on
    this planet is burned and crushed.
[00:13] ---
    Humans are dead and stinking!
[00:16] ---
    And the doggie is "nom,
    nom, nom" like it's a feast.
[00:20] ---
    Now isn't food important after all?
[00:23] ---
    Because you are what you eat.
[00:26] ---
    So when someone eats something
    they shouldn't, what happens?
[00:31] ---
    Well, that person becomes
    something they're not, meaning...
[00:38] ---
    Oh, here he comes.
[00:41] ---
    He's so cute.
[00:42] ---
    Is he searching for something?
[00:45] ---
    Oh, it appears he smells something.
[00:48] ---
    Oh, this one's adorable too.
[00:51] ---
    Cameraman, please zoom in.
[00:53] ---
    I can't read their expression,
    so I'm not sure how they feel.
[00:58] ---
    But that's what's
    so cute about them.
[01:41] ---
    Oh! Fantastic!
[01:43] ---
    Unlike their delightful
    entrance, that's savage!
[01:48] ---
    Thank you, world!
[01:50] ---
    I am devoured once again today,
    totally and neatly split open.
[01:56] ---
    And I finally remember.
[01:59] ---
    That I wasn't thinking about anything.
[02:04] ---
    That we're on planet Earth and...
[02:09] ---
    We're on planet Earth and...
[02:13] ---
    What was I saying?
[02:26] ---
    maid
[02:27] ---
    No!
[02:30] ---
    Mixy-mixy curry rice needs to be
    mixed in front of the customer...
[02:36] ---
    ...so don't mix it beforehand!
[02:43] ---
    Oh. Good morning, Hidomi-chan.
[02:46] ---
    Hidomi, be careful
    of the Vespa woman...
[02:50] ---
    Next, bittersweet
    unrequited love parfait!
[02:53] ---
    Have a nice day.
[02:55] ---
    Thanks.
[02:57] ---
    Hidomi! The Vespa woman...
[03:14] ---
    Hello! It's Miss Haruko!
[03:23] ---
    The world is
    overflowing irresponsibly.
[03:26] ---
    Wherever you look, there
    are many who defile others...
[03:29] ---
    ...and their surroundings
    with selfish delusions.
[03:32] ---
    And I believe this is the fault of the
    adults of this world, including me.
[03:38] ---
    I'm so sorry.
[03:40] ---
    I'm no longer able to think that way. Pupipi.
[03:47] ---
    Even if I think of this planet...
[03:50] ---
    A mole I didn't notice before...
    Or the hair that grows out of it.
[03:54] ---
    I keep thinking about those things.
[03:57] ---
    World. Universe.
    I really don't care.
[04:00] ---
    It's not my fault
    anyway. Pu-pu-pu.
[04:04] ---
    Pu-pu-pu...
[04:05] ---
    Pu-pi-pu.
[04:07] ---
    Pu-pi-pu...
[04:07] ---
    Miss Haruko! Miss Haruko!
[04:11] ---
    You are good kids.
[04:13] ---
    Well, I'm hungry, so the rest
    of class is self-study time.
[04:17] ---
    And the class album is
    finished now, so please take a look.
[04:24] ---
    An album?
[04:26] ---
    Oh! I remember Sports Day...
[04:29] ---
    Yeah, it was epic.
[04:31] ---
    Miss Haruko's wicked pitch where
    she lets them hit to get an easy out.
[04:34] ---
    Miss Haruko's last round full base
    comeback line drive to the pitcher...
[04:39] ---
    - It was awesome.
[04:40] ---
    - Legendary!
[04:43] ---
    It was so fun...
[04:46] ---
    After-School UFO!
[04:47] ---
    We signaled a UFO after school and
    invited an esper to the cultural fair.
[04:52] ---
    During the spoon-bending contest,
    she bent her foe's fingers and won!
[04:58] ---
    We used the school building
    to make a bonfire at the after party.
[04:58] ---
    Campfire
[05:02] ---
    - Burn, burn, burn.
[05:05] ---
    - These are all great memories.
[05:07] ---
    - Flames, burn bright.
[05:08] ---
    - This class is the best.
[05:10] ---
    Yes, we are blessed.
[05:11] ---
    Flare up the tinders.
[05:16] ---
    And burn into the sky too!
[05:27] ---
    Hibaji.
[05:28] ---
    Can you deliver this?
[05:31] ---
    For Ide. Since he's absent today.
[05:35] ---
    But why me?
[05:37] ---
    I don't know.
[05:39] ---
    Why is it?
[05:41] ---
    Because you're close? Huh?
[05:44] ---
    Why?
[05:45] ---
    I don't know.
[05:53] ---
    Thanks!
[06:03] ---
    Mom, this place is boring.
[06:06] ---
    It sure is outdated looking.
[06:19] ---
    What is this?
[06:21] ---
    He's so big!
[06:22] ---
    He's really hard!
[06:46] ---
    How long do I need to work?
[06:54] ---
    Hey, princess.
[06:56] ---
    What are you doing here?
[06:58] ---
    Oh, it's you...
[07:00] ---
    Princess, do you want to become a pro?
[07:04] ---
    You can do it. You'd be a phenomenon...
[07:06] ---
    She won't be a pro!
[07:09] ---
    Leave her alone, sir.
[07:11] ---
    You have Latin blood in you, eh?
[07:14] ---
    Um, yes.
[07:16] ---
    Do you want to become a pro?
[07:19] ---
    You can do it.
    You'd be a phenomenon...
[07:22] ---
    Sir, there aren't lots of
    phenomena lying around.
[07:27] ---
    Let's go.
[07:31] ---
    You have a fine fist. You sure
    you don't want to become a pro?
[07:36] ---
    What kind?
[07:37] ---
    Uh, let's see...
[07:44] ---
    You're delivering a worksheet to Ide?
[07:47] ---
    Yeah.
[07:49] ---
    This isn't a place
    a woman should come alone.
[07:59] ---
    Hibajiri, are you sure you
    want to see the real Ide?
[08:04] ---
    What do you mean?
[08:05] ---
    Well, you're going to see
    it even if you say no.
[08:11] ---
    Look.
[08:30] ---
    Hey! Keep it moving!
[08:32] ---
    You've got no grit, you fools!
[08:36] ---
    Sir, yes, sir!
[08:40] ---
    Who do you think feeds
    you good-for-nothings?
[08:52] ---
    Look at that body unsuited
    for a middle schooler!
[08:55] ---
    That beautiful, sculpted body that
    is comparable but superior to mine!
[09:00] ---
    Get working, you brat!
[09:03] ---
    Yes, sir!
[09:04] ---
    He pretends to be the class
    clown and acts dumb at school...
[09:09] ---
    ...but he's actually
    struggling to make ends meet.
[09:09] ---
    That's enough.
[09:13] ---
    Now go get another one!
[09:14] ---
    He wouldn't show that side
    of himself to any of us though.
[09:15] ---
    Yes, sir!
[09:21] ---
    You there! Keep your feet moving!
[09:25] ---
    Look at these bargains!
[09:25] ---
    Ide's Factory
[09:29] ---
    These are high-performance custom
    weapons made by this genius!
[09:34] ---
    This one's an automatic machine
    gun that can shoot 100 pebbles!
[09:37] ---
    You can use pebbles that are
    exactly 5 mm! It's very versatile!
[09:42] ---
    If you think, "I can't
    find pebbles in that size..."
[09:47] ---
    ...then I have this item for you!
[09:50] ---
    This Super Eccentric
    Almighty Pulverization Machine...
[09:53] ---
    ...can crush rocks into
    5 mm pebbles in seconds!
[09:56] ---
    You can't carry
    something like this around?
[09:58] ---
    For those who need help
    lugging this stuff, I have this!
[10:01] ---
    A 100-shot pebble machine gun...
[10:03] ---
    ...Pebble Super Eccentric Almighty
    Pulverization Machine Cart!
[10:07] ---
    As you can see...
[10:10] ---
    You wanna give it a try? All right.
[10:13] ---
    Give it a go, tough guy!
[10:16] ---
    - Hey! Stop it! Stop it! Ack!
[10:18] ---
    - Stop it.
[10:20] ---
    That means to stop...
[10:22] ---
    He's fluent in those kinds of
    English words! It breaks my heart!
[10:26] ---
    You call this trash a gun?
    Are you fucking kidding me?
[10:30] ---
    How am I supposed to kill
    someone with it? Huh?
[10:34] ---
    I don't need this shit!
[10:36] ---
    Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
[10:38] ---
    Shut up!
[10:40] ---
    Should I knock you down, punk?
[10:46] ---
    Sorry, I don't feel any pain in my heart,
[10:49] ---
    however many punches I get.
[10:54] ---
    Gah! It really hurts! Sorry, it really hurts.
[10:58] ---
    Please stop! it really hurts!
[11:01] ---
    Nerds.
[11:16] ---
    Hey!
[11:20] ---
    Mori... Hibajiri-san?
[11:29] ---
    Hibajiri-san!
[11:31] ---
    Hibajiri-san? Hey...
[11:45] ---
    Why is it always him?
[12:20] ---
    Koh-kun, I made
    tsukudani for you...
[12:23] ---
    Oh my. You brought
    another girl home?
[12:26] ---
    Oh, you dirty dog! So bad!
[12:29] ---
    Oh, to be young.
[12:31] ---
    You know, when I was young...
[12:34] ---
    No!
[12:38] ---
    Sobby... I'b okay.
[12:41] ---
    Okay...
[12:47] ---
    Oh, right. Hibajiri-san. Um...
[12:51] ---
    Interested in space?
[12:53] ---
    Um, like art? The universe?
    Like an art gallery?
[12:59] ---
    A relationship kind of like
    these stars, this nighttime scenery.
[13:05] ---
    No, no, no. Nothing suggestive
    like that, a pure companionship?
[13:10] ---
    Relationship? No no, that's not it!
[13:17] ---
    I'm sorry.
[13:18] ---
    Excuse me?
[13:20] ---
    Thanks.
[13:21] ---
    Um, sure.
[13:27] ---
    I guess...
[13:29] ---
    If it were with you,
    I'd be fine with it.
[13:34] ---
    That kind of relationship.
[13:40] ---
    Cut!
[13:42] ---
    Ide, that was perfect!
[13:45] ---
    Are you aiming for an Oscar?
[13:48] ---
    When did you get here?
[13:50] ---
    Miss Haruko?
[13:51] ---
    Let's take a short break! Rolling
    the final take next! Final take...
[13:56] ---
    Hehehe.
[14:00] ---
    Hiba... Hiba... Hibajiri!
[14:02] ---
    Don't be so rough...
[14:09] ---
    Cut it out!
[14:17] ---
    I found you.
[14:18] ---
    Let me go to
    the bathroom in peace.
[14:21] ---
    What's going on?
    Who is she? A thief?
[14:25] ---
    No! She's...
[14:27] ---
    Who are you again?
[14:28] ---
    You can't pretend you
    forgot me, Haruha Raharu.
[14:32] ---
    Answering machine.
[14:33] ---
    You can't escape from me.
[14:35] ---
    Namamugi, namagome, namanamako.
[14:38] ---
    It's fate we meet again.
    I'm going to end this.
[14:42] ---
    Ape. Oh, I lose.
[14:44] ---
    You're playing shiritori?
[14:46] ---
    Fine, I understand.
    Then we'll do this by force!
[14:55] ---
    Oh, that's how you do things?
[14:58] ---
    This is between us.
    Don't lay your hands on her.
[15:02] ---
    But it's fine to use that big hand?
[15:04] ---
    Hibajiri-san!
[15:12] ---
    Laser beam!
[15:23] ---
    I won't let you escape.
[15:28] ---
    Ide-kun!
[15:30] ---
    Take that!
[15:34] ---
    You had it tough too... Huh?
[15:39] ---
    Hello?
[15:40] ---
    Oh, Hidomi's mother. Sorry, I'm...
[15:43] ---
    I told you that a "Maid Delivery
    Purine la Mode" is our special menu.
[15:49] ---
    I'm in a middle of something!
[15:52] ---
    Will you repeat your mistake? There's
    no light at the end of this tunnel.
[15:56] ---
    Give it up.
[15:57] ---
    No way!
[16:01] ---
    Full-base comeback
    line drive to the pitcher!
[16:14] ---
    Play ball!
[16:17] ---
    You said it was a comeback hit!
[16:22] ---
    You're not going
    to reach him like this!
[16:26] ---
    Raharu!
[17:03] ---
    You can't do it alone.
    You can't reach him without me.
[17:07] ---
    Such self-confidence.
[17:09] ---
    You already know this...
    because you're me!
[17:38] ---
    One, ten, hundred, thousand!
[17:41] ---
    They call me Flaming Slugger!
[17:53] ---
    Hidomi. I warned you not
    to get involved with that woman.
[17:57] ---
    She'll only use you.
[18:00] ---
    Worst case, you could die.
[18:05] ---
    Die?
[18:20] ---
    Hidomi?
[18:31] ---
    Hidomi!
[18:44] ---
    It can't be... She overcame the
    enzyme inhibitory mechanism?
[18:48] ---
    Sex drive?
[19:04] ---
    Huh?
[19:14] ---
    What's that?
[19:21] ---
    You're looking good.
[19:27] ---
    Sexual harrassment?
[19:58] ---
    Hidomi!
[20:02] ---
    What?
[20:08] ---
    Hidomi! Hidomi!
[20:12] ---
    Ide-kun...
[20:33] ---
    Don't worry.
    You'll recover in a few hours.
[20:36] ---
    You exceeded expectations...
[20:39] ---
    Hold it right there!
[20:44] ---
    No matter how you
    look at it, that girl's mine.
[21:01] ---
    You look awful.
[21:12] ---
    Worksheet. You were absent today.