25 - His Butler, Performer
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
"On the night of the third
anniversary of Funtom's founding,
[00:15] ---
they'll be presenting a free
play for orphaned children.
[00:18] ---
The show will be Hamlet."
[00:22] ---
I see we're getting a fair bit of press.
[00:25] ---
I didn't anticipate you
doing charity work like this.
[00:27] ---
I admire your philanthropic spirit,
young master.
[00:31] ---
Philanthropic?
[00:33] ---
These days love breeds money.
[00:37] ---
People will say
"Funtom gives orphaned children love."
[00:41] ---
We can use that to our advantage--
[00:45] ---
Love for the poor orphans!
Oh, it brings tears to my eyes!
[00:50] ---
Our young master must know
[00:53] ---
how they feel because he lost his own father!
[00:58] ---
Are you lot even listening to me?!
[01:03] ---
Just what I'd expect from our
young master--
[01:05] ---
or rather, from a child.
[01:10] ---
Hamlet, hmm?
[01:15] ---
After Prince Hamlet's father,
the king, is murdered,
[01:20] ---
Hamlet vows to avenge him
even at the cost of his own life.
[01:23] ---
The play might as well have
been written for you, young master.
[01:28] ---
It just happened to be in the
repertoire of the troupe I hired.
[01:31] ---
I don't care about the plo--
[01:33] ---
Y-Young master!
[01:35] ---
What? An accident?
[01:37] ---
Yes, my lord. The ship carrying
the actors ran into some trouble,
[01:41] ---
and they won't arrive in
London until next week, no!
[01:47] ---
The show is in three days!
[01:49] ---
Do you know how much advertising I've done?!
[01:52] ---
The press will be all over us that day.
[01:55] ---
We can't possibly reschedule.
[01:59] ---
What shall we do, my lord?
[02:03] ---
We have no choice.
[02:05] ---
Sebastian, this is an order:
[02:07] ---
Make the show a success-- make it
worthy of the Phantomhive name.
[02:13] ---
Yes, my lord.
[02:24] ---
"Black Butler"
[02:28] ---
Since then, I've actually
come to like the night somewhat
[02:35] ---
In a sea of dependence,
I forget even to breathe
[02:40] ---
When I'm right on the verge
of losing my head over you
[02:44] ---
You just leave me lukewarm
[02:48] ---
The aesthetic of leave-taking
despises a self-satisfied kiss
[02:55] ---
Don't leave me alone, show me
compassion, paint me with death
[03:01] ---
In your room, all words slip away
[03:08] ---
I want to end like this, cloaked
[03:14] ---
But the night ignores
that wish and brings morning
[03:21] ---
With your gentle,
passionate, and dastardly kiss
[03:27] ---
Paint this final night
[03:31] ---
The moon illuminates us
[03:45] ---
"His Butler, Performer"
[03:51] ---
Well, Ran-Mao, what part do you want to play?
[03:54] ---
Seaweed.
[03:56] ---
If I'm going to be in a play,
naturally I'll be Ramakrishna!
[04:00] ---
Oh, Prince Soma, I just
know you'll be sublime!
[04:03] ---
I want to be a princess!
[04:07] ---
And wear a poofy skirt with three petticoats!
[04:12] ---
If we're going all-out,
perhaps I should put on four or five.
[04:16] ---
What? You, a princess?
[04:19] ---
That wouldn't be cute at all!
[04:21] ---
Seaweed, an Indian, and two princesses?
[04:25] ---
I told you, this is Hamlet!
[04:28] ---
Sebastian! Why all these amateurs?
[04:31] ---
Are you putting on a school play?!
[04:33] ---
In its proper form, a charity play
[04:37] ---
is something staged at home
by the master of the house.
[04:40] ---
It's not something you pay
a theatrical troupe to do.
[04:44] ---
Moreover, I believe this particular group...
[04:49] ---
...will tolerate a bit of harsh direction.
[04:57] ---
Naturally, you'll be
performing as well, young master.
[05:01] ---
I'm sure you understand
[05:03] ---
what the best response is to this crisis.
[05:08] ---
After all, you're an adult, aren't you?
[05:12] ---
"Vocal Exercises"
[05:19] ---
It's time to begin.
[05:21] ---
We'll start with vocal exercises.
[05:39] ---
No hanky-panky.
[05:41] ---
Go!
[05:46] ---
Yes! Yes! Yes!
[05:50] ---
No curry.
[05:51] ---
It's very good.
[05:52] ---
There's plenty to go around, if you'd like--
[05:55] ---
No, thank you.
[05:58] ---
Next, performance training.
[06:00] ---
"Performance Training"
[06:04] ---
"To be, or not to be: that is the question."
[06:10] ---
Young master, put more heart into it.
[06:13] ---
--"T-To be, or not to be--"
[06:16] ---
--That's a dead certainty!
Not to be, of course!☆
[06:23] ---
What pathetically dull acting!
[06:26] ---
Do us all a favor and drop dead
this instant, you hideous Hamlet!
[06:30] ---
Grell! What are you doing here?
[06:32] ---
Who's that? I have the strangest
feeling I've seen him before...
[06:37] ---
You have no heart. No heart!
[06:40] ---
You're not conveying
Hamlet's tortured anguish!
[06:43] ---
You have to make it echo through the theater!
[06:45] ---
Come on, do it like this.
[06:49] ---
"To be, or not to be: that is the question."
[06:55] ---
No!
[06:56] ---
♪ That's no question at all! ♪
[07:02] ---
♪ Not at all! ♪
[07:04] ---
♪ When I met you, it changed me! ♪
[07:08] ---
♪ The important thing is love! ♪
[07:15] ---
No, I unquestionably recommend death to you.
[07:19] ---
I see that love stands always
but a step away from death!
[07:23] ---
Oh, Sebas-chan, my excitement increases!
[07:29] ---
Still, this melodramatic, dubious acting...
[07:34] ---
It may be worth making use of
for a limited period of time.
[07:38] ---
At any rate, none of you have
a sufficient sense of urgency.
[07:41] ---
Put more into this.
[07:43] ---
I told you, no curry!
[07:45] ---
It's very good.
[07:46] ---
Seaweed.
[07:48] ---
Here.
[07:50] ---
See? Pink hats really are the best kind!
[07:54] ---
Sebastian?
[08:01] ---
Hamlet.
[08:04] ---
The lack of even the faintest
ray of hope in its plot
[08:07] ---
prompts people to group it with
Othello, King Lear, and Macbeth
[08:11] ---
as one of Shakespeare's
four greatest tragedies.
[08:16] ---
In order for you to
truly understand Hamlet,
[08:19] ---
I'll first give you a taste
of the Phantomhive tragedy.
[08:32] ---
S-Sebas-chan, how terrifying you are!
[09:10] ---
Oh, look, the viscount!
[09:20] ---
The house is packed!
[09:22] ---
Woo-hoo! Now I'm gettin' worked up!
[09:29] ---
Ah, now I'm really
showing my stuff as an actress.
[09:34] ---
Ugh, this costume isn't cute at all!
[09:42] ---
Where is the young master?
[09:43] ---
E-Er, I think he went to the W.C., yes...
[09:51] ---
So here you are.
[09:55] ---
It's a bit too late to say you
don't like the part, young master.
[10:00] ---
A young prince who loses his
father and burns for revenge...
[10:05] ---
You deliberately gave me this part.
[10:11] ---
Not only do you have no acting experience,
[10:13] ---
you also lack the dexterity
to button your own shirts.
[10:18] ---
I felt casting you in a part
too different from yourself
[10:21] ---
would be hard on you, my lord.
[10:23] ---
What?!
[10:24] ---
What's the harm in it?
[10:28] ---
Let's make this a prelude to
the bloody revenge coming.
[10:35] ---
Young master, are you all ready?
[10:39] ---
The curtain is finally
rising on this tale of revenge.
[11:01] ---
An adult's holiday.
[11:05] ---
Pluto knows there are certain tastes
only a connoisseur can appreciate.
[11:12] ---
Crunchy and bracing!
[11:15] ---
Headlong doggie!
[11:19] ---
Inukko: a Funtom Company product.
[11:27] ---
The previous king of Denmark has died,
[11:31] ---
and his younger brother
Claudius has been crowned king!
[11:36] ---
The late king's wife, whom
he'd loved unconditionally,
[11:41] ---
has become the bride of the new ruler!
[11:46] ---
Oh, I'm ever so sad that my brother died,
[11:50] ---
but since we're still alive,
we must enjoy ourselves!
[11:55] ---
I quite agree.
[11:57] ---
Slip...
[11:59] ---
Oh, you're perfect!
[12:02] ---
Such stiff ribs!
[12:06] ---
Tickle, tickle, tickle...
[12:11] ---
I know I said I wanted laughter,
but a direct attack like this is cheating!
[12:17] ---
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[12:24] ---
The late king's son Hamlet
[12:27] ---
encounters him as a ghost!
[12:32] ---
O Father, what may this mean,
that thou appearest before me so?
[12:41] ---
I see, my vile uncle Claudius
[12:44] ---
hath killed thee by pouring
poison in thy ear?
[12:52] ---
Yes, I see.
[12:55] ---
Thou bid'st me take revenge in thy place.
[13:00] ---
But of course, Father!
[13:03] ---
He can understand that?
[13:05] ---
Tanaka is a magnificent actor who
can convey it all with his aura, yes!
[13:08] ---
More importantly, why am I a stagehand?!
I don't accept this!
[13:13] ---
It's because you're eating curry.
[13:15] ---
Father... Thy hatred hath survived
[13:20] ---
the very fires of hell.
[13:24] ---
Here and now I swear I shall avenge you!
[13:30] ---
What an enthusiastic performance!
[13:33] ---
Damn it, man, move that
light further to the right!
[13:35] ---
I ask you, why am I a stagehand?!
[13:38] ---
I tell you, because you're eating curry.
[13:41] ---
Now, how is the audience reacting?
[13:50] ---
It seems Hamlet is too
difficult for children to understand.
[13:54] ---
In order to deceive his uncle,
[13:57] ---
Hamlet pretends to be
disappointed in his love for Ophelia,
[14:01] ---
the daughter of the king's
chief counsel, and go mad!
[14:06] ---
Ah, what a sinful woman I am!
[14:13] ---
Ophelia, there you are!
[14:15] ---
Father! Hmm, now that
I get a better look at thee,
[14:19] ---
I see thou art quite handsome!
[14:22] ---
Never mind that Hamlet, I fancy you, Father!
[14:27] ---
Such a honeyed scent
doth forbidden love have!
[14:35] ---
What depravity!
[14:37] ---
Only Brahmā could be forgiven
such acts between father and daughter!
[14:43] ---
But...
[14:45] ---
What with one thing
and another, Ophelia died!
[14:49] ---
No! It's not Ophelia's death scene... yet...
[14:55] ---
Agents who die in the
field receive no burial!
[14:58] ---
Let's toss her in the river!
[15:05] ---
Father...
[15:08] ---
--♪ Seaweed. Oh how I love it... ♪
[15:18] ---
--Goodness, she seems to be a hit.
[15:21] ---
--Seaweed!
[15:23] ---
--Hey, it's seaweed!
[15:25] ---
--It sounds like she's popular
with the tadpoles, yes.
[15:29] ---
--I don't get kids.
[15:32] ---
Now that the ice is broken,
[15:34] ---
the young master's big scene is here at last.
[15:41] ---
To be, or not to be:
[15:47] ---
That is the question.
[15:49] ---
My uncle is a cunning man.
[15:53] ---
Even if I'm able to carry out my revenge,
[15:56] ---
I shan't escape alive.
[15:58] ---
And... the truth is...
[16:06] ---
I don't want to die.
[16:12] ---
Quit being a coward, Hamlet!
[16:15] ---
Drive out that foolish,
stunted soul of thine this instant!
[16:22] ---
My vow is a bloody one.
[16:28] ---
There's no turning back now!
[16:38] ---
Now let me be off, before the
blazing sun in my blood rises.
[16:47] ---
Hey!
[16:48] ---
The young master is amazing!
[16:52] ---
Yes, very true-to-life.
[17:00] ---
Oh, that fury that makes
his slender limbs tremble!
[17:03] ---
That burning rage is like an aloof ruby!
[17:08] ---
Oh, dear. Pardon me.
[17:12] ---
Well, well. That performance
resonated even with the children.
[17:17] ---
Now, then...
[17:20] ---
I'm on.
[17:23] ---
Hamlet and Ophelia's brother
Laertes must cross blades
[17:28] ---
in a fencing match arranged by the king!
[17:41] ---
But the tip of Laertes's sword
is coated with a poison
[17:44] ---
that will kill a man after just
the faintest scratch of his blade!
[17:50] ---
I-I'm scared...
[17:53] ---
Thou art Ophelia's brother, then?
[17:56] ---
I have heard thy skill is great!
[17:59] ---
I have heard the same of thine.
[18:01] ---
I hope thou shalt go easy on me.
[18:05] ---
Now, I think that's enough chat!
[18:09] ---
We'll have a ten-point match.
[18:11] ---
And now...
[18:14] ---
let the match be--
[18:15] ---
Hamlet, no!
[18:17] ---
That old guy's sword is poisoned!
[18:22] ---
"Old guy"?
[18:23] ---
Yeah, they lied when they
said this was a fencing match!
[18:27] ---
They're trying to kill you, Hamlet!
[18:29] ---
You should stop! You should
stop trying to get revenge, okay?
[18:33] ---
I don't want any stupid revenge!
[18:35] ---
Don't die, Hamlet!
[18:37] ---
"Don't die"...
[18:39] ---
Young master! Your line, your line!
[18:43] ---
My line?
[18:48] ---
Oh, it's hopeless!
[18:50] ---
You there! Draw the curtains!
[18:51] ---
R-Right, yes! Er...
[18:54] ---
No, wait.
[18:56] ---
How dare thee let thy eyes wander?
[19:06] ---
The farce is over. I'll tell thee the truth.
[19:10] ---
My beloved sister's sweet life was ended
[19:15] ---
because of her involvement with thee!
[19:17] ---
Wait! This isn't in the script!
[19:20] ---
I shall win my revenge by slaying thee!
[19:24] ---
My beloved Ophelia...
[19:26] ---
♪ Stop the fighting! ♪
[19:29] ---
♪ Don't you fight over me! ♪
[19:34] ---
What the devil is he doing?!
[19:36] ---
When did he get a gondola?!
[19:37] ---
It's not fair to take the
spotlight all for yourself!
[19:39] ---
I'm going to go out there and--
[19:40] ---
Wait! If you go out there now--
[19:43] ---
Not fair! Not fair!
[19:45] ---
Ophelia?! I thought you were dead!
[19:48] ---
When my dear brother's
love rained down upon me,
[19:51] ---
the flower of life bloomed
anew with deadly haste!☆
[19:56] ---
Oh, dear brother! You are truly the one for--
[20:05] ---
Ouchies!
[20:08] ---
So this is where you've been dallying,
[20:12] ---
Grell Sutcliff.
[20:13] ---
Will!
[20:15] ---
This is an outrage.
Not only have you deserted your post,
[20:18] ---
you're actually putting on a
charity play with a loathsome demon.
[20:20] ---
Ah, now three men are fighting over me!
[20:25] ---
Stop, stop, stop! No fighting!
[20:28] ---
You just leave everything to me,
Ramakrishna, avatar of the sun!
[20:33] ---
Prince Soma!
[20:35] ---
Ophelia came back to life!
[20:37] ---
Go get him, Rama-whatsit!
[20:42] ---
This is a mess! What a foolish--
[20:45] ---
Yes, it is foolish.
[20:48] ---
Revenge is foolish.
[20:50] ---
All it offers is confusion
and a brief fever of excitement.
[20:55] ---
When the curtains close on
this pipe dream, nothing is left.
[21:01] ---
Isn't that right, my lord Hamlet?
[21:04] ---
Seba-- I mean, I never
thought I'd hear you say...
[21:07] ---
Quite so!
[21:09] ---
Revenge is utterly meaningless!
[21:12] ---
Ramakrishna, avatar of
the sun, guarantees it!
[21:16] ---
H-Hey!
[21:18] ---
A demon's master who
can't ad-lib isn't worth his salt.
[21:25] ---
Hamlet...
[21:30] ---
That's right.
[21:35] ---
I'll forget about revenge and live on!
[21:39] ---
I will live as long as Nature allows me to!
[21:50] ---
Magnificent!
[21:52] ---
This is the true Hamlet
[21:54] ---
which transcends a mere revenge play!
[21:57] ---
I long to wrap this pitiable yet dignified
Hamlet in the bacon of my arms!
[22:01] ---
Ham, ham-ham, I'll be your eggs, Ham...!
[22:16] ---
Thank you.
[22:19] ---
All the world's a stage,
[22:23] ---
and all the men and women merely players.
[22:28] ---
We meet and begin our drama.
[22:32] ---
And sooner or later, the curtain closes.
[22:37] ---
Thank you. Thank you.
[22:42] ---
Thank you.
[23:04] ---
The moonlight that reveals
sorrow was coldly illuminating
[23:11] ---
The despair and the future
which grew intimate in the dark
[23:21] ---
With the secret you gave me as my guide
[23:28] ---
I move through the blue night's stillness
[23:35] ---
Lacrimosa, I want to love once again
[23:42] ---
The dazzling world that
crumbled and vanished in the distance
[23:50] ---
I'll hide my dreams within my eyes
[23:57] ---
Until the tears fall on my sullied heart
[24:20] ---
That was fun!
[24:22] ---
Hamlet was so dashing!
[24:28] ---
A smashing performance, and it
was all thanks to you, Ran-Mao!
[24:31] ---
Seaweed.
[24:32] ---
Hmm? Where'd Ophelia go?
[24:35] ---
That chap with the side part
took her off somewhere.
[24:37] ---
Beat her black and blue first, too!
[24:44] ---
You seem out of sorts for someone
whose Hamlet was such a success.
[24:50] ---
I'll have you know I don't
seriously intend to forget revenge.
[24:55] ---
I know, my lord.
[24:57] ---
In the end, stories enacted on the
stage are naught but pipe dreams.
[25:01] ---
And after all, it would be quite
an inconvenience for me if you were
[25:04] ---
to forget about revenge.
[25:07] ---
Ciel!
[25:11] ---
Now we're going to celebrate
with a party at your manor!
[25:14] ---
What? But...
[25:16] ---
I made a trip home during the intermission
[25:18] ---
and prepared all the
ingredients for the feast.
[25:21] ---
You see, I am merely one hell of a butler.
[25:31] ---
I'll forget about revenge and live on...
[25:44] ---
"Next Episode Preview"
[25:48] ---
"Tanaka Sushi"
[25:50] ---
Hang in there, Papa!
[25:53] ---
Sorry, but I'm a fishmonger,
not a gossipmonger.
[25:58] ---
Why don't you get the hell out of my town?
[26:01] ---
It's only a matter of time
before Tanaka Sushi goes under.
[26:05] ---
What, you've brought in outside talent?
SIGN "Nutrition Education"
[26:08] ---
How amusing.
[26:09] ---
Let's see what he's got.
[26:11] ---
Take this! Freshly caught and still floppin'!
[26:14] ---
What I roll are human hearts.
[26:18] ---
Say your prayers, Tanaka lackey!
[26:22] ---
Mr. Bastian...
[26:25] ---
"Tanaka Sushi"
[26:33] ---
"New Series: Black Sushi Chef"
[26:37] ---
Perhaps black fingernails
are a no-no after all?
[26:39] ---
"Look forward to it!"
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