6 - Our Only Vice Is Service

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] PONKO
    Yachiyo, and everyone else here,
[00:04] PONKO
    thank you for having us.
    It's been a wonderful century!
[00:08] TANUKIANS
    Thank you for having us.
[00:11] YACHIYO
    We should be the ones thanking you
    for staying with us.
[00:16] BUMBUKU
    Sorry for being here much longer
    than we expected.
[00:19] MAMI
    It was a most delightful stay.
[00:22] MUJINA
    Your excellent service made it so.
[00:24] FUGURI
    Holes in the ground are great,
    but I loved it here too!
[00:27] PONKO
    Will you be all right with us gone?
[00:30] YACHIYO
    We'll miss you, but this was always coming.
[00:33] BUMBUKU
    We'll be back to stay someday.
[00:35] YACHIYO
    Of course. We eagerly await
    your next stay with us.
SIGN    Episode 6
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Our Only Vice Is Service
[01:40] PONKO
    They're gone.
[01:50] PROCIONES
    We're home!
[01:53] EV CHECKER
    Yo!
[01:54] EV CHECKER
    Whatcha doing?
[01:56] PONKO
    Hey, been a while, Babeh-O.
[01:58] EV CHECKER
    What's with this building?
[02:00] PONKO
    Our home. We stripped our
    spaceship for parts to build it.
[02:04] EV CHECKER
    What about the hotel?
[02:05] PONKO
    We checked out.
[02:07] (Flashback) BUMBUKU
    I think it's about time for me
    to put in a shift or two.
[02:11] (Flashback) YACHIYO
    Is your spaceship fixed?
[02:13] (Flashback) BUMBUKU
    Oh, we gave up on that a long time ago.
[02:16] (Flashback) BUMBUKU
    We're just going to live on Earth.
[02:19] (Flashback) PONKO
    We're building a home nearby,
    so I can keep working here.
[02:23] PONKO
    We're gonna tear down the rest of the ship
    and expand the house in the future.
[02:26] EV CHECKER
    Ha! Well, sounds good to me.
[02:28] PONKO
    But there's this one thing I'm worried about.
[02:32] EV CHECKER
    Hmm?
[02:33] PONKO
    Apparently, some Harmageddon thing's
    gonna end all civilization on Earth someday.
[02:39] EV CHECKER
    Whoo, now that's scary.
[02:42] BUMBUKU
    Now, now. That was just a popular
    rumor on Earth centuries ago.
[03:20] EV CHECKER
    Damn it!
[03:38] EV CHECKER
    We got big, big trouble!
[03:39] DOORMAN
    Hey, don't!
[03:40] EV CHECKER
    Sorry, boo, let me through!
[03:42] EV CHECKER
    Sorry to interrupt
    in this not-busy time, babeh!
[03:44] YACHIYO
    It's good to see you again,
    Environment Checker Robot.
[03:47] EV CHECKER
    Hey, Yachi-YO! We've got
    a heavy hitter on our hands!
[03:51] PONKO
    It's Harmageddon!
[03:52] PONKO
    Huh? Yachiyo?
[03:54] PONKO
    Fuguri! Where are the others?
[03:56] EV CHECKER
    KO'd outside your house, babeh.
[03:58] PONKO
    And you left them there?!
[03:59] EV CHECKER
    How was I supposed to carry you all?
[04:01] FUGURI
    No! Dad, Mom, and Grandma are dead!
[04:06] EV CHECKER
    We don't know that. I'll try to grab 'em
    when that thing's not looking.
[04:11] DOORMAN
    We have a guest.
[04:16] PONKOFUGURI
    It followed us!
[04:17] EV CHECKER
    Shit!
[04:28] DOORMAN
    The hell... happened here?
[04:36] YACHIYO
    We offer our beloved guests our heartfelt
    hospitality and our brightest smiles.
[04:41] YACHIYO
    Welcome to the Gingarou Hotel!
[04:49] YACHIYO
    Please give me one moment.
[04:55] YACHIYO
    This. Here. Is...
[04:57] YACHIYO
    a facility where you can sleep well,
[04:59] YACHIYO
    eat delicious food,
[05:01] YACHIYO
    and have a comfortable and pleasant time.
[05:10] PONKO
    Huh?!
[05:11] YACHIYO
    Was that a language from the Adobe system?
[05:17] YACHIYOAI
    Language selection applied.
SIGN    The following conversation has been dubbed in
    an Earth language for your viewing enjoyment.
[05:19] YACHIYO
    My apologies.
    I must ask you to repeat yourself.
[05:25] HARMY
    I have come here to end
    all civilization on this planet.
[05:29] PONKO
    It is Harmageddon!
[05:30] YACHIYO
    I'm afraid no civilization
    remains here to end.
[05:33] HARMY
    What?
[05:34] YACHIYO
    Did you not see the surrounding area
    on your way here?
[05:37] HARMY
    Is the whole planet like that?
[05:38] YACHIYO
    It is.
[05:39] HARMY
    No intelligent life forms
    that could start another?
[05:43] YACHIYO
    For "intelligent,"
    we have AI robots like myself,
[05:48] YACHIYO
    and for "life forms," we have non-primates
    such as bears and boars—only animals.
[05:56] YACHIYO
    Only animals.
[05:58] HARMY
    What are you robots doing here?
[06:01] YACHIYO
    We run this hotel.
[06:03] HARMY
    That makes no sense.
[06:05] YACHIYO
    Humanity—this planet's dominant
    life form—will return someday.
[06:09] HARMY
    When?
[06:10] YACHIYO
    We do not know. All we can do is wait.
[06:13] HARMY
    How long have you waited already?
[06:15] YACHIYO
    Around 400 years.
[06:17] HARMY
    And nobody's come back
    in those 400 years, right?
[06:21] YACHIYO
    They may be in the middle
    of a millennium-long journey.
[06:24] YACHIYO
    Besides, we have had visitors in that time.
[06:27] HARMY
    Oh?
[06:28] YACHIYO
    This hotel also welcomes
    extraterrestrial guests such as yourself.
[06:41] YACHIYO
    Please refrain from destructive
     behavior on hotel premises.
[06:46] BUMBUKU
    Ponko!
[06:48] MAMI
    Fuguri!
[06:57] YACHIYO
    So, will you be staying with us?
[06:59] EV CHECKER
    Wha?
[07:00] PONKOFUGURI
    Wha?!
[07:02] HARMY
    An interesting idea. But I have no money.
[07:08] PONKO
    So I guess Harmy's staying at the Gingarou?
[07:20] HARMY
    It does appear that civilization
    has fallen into ruin here.
[07:23] YACHIYO
    It has.
[07:26] HARMY
    What's this place?
[07:28] YACHIYO
    A planned hot spring site.
[07:30] HARMY
    What's a hot spring?
[07:31] YACHIYO
    We intend to dig until hot water
    springs out from underground.
[07:34] HARMY
    And then?
[07:35] YACHIYO
    When humanity returns, it will help
    attract even more guests to our hotel.
[07:41] HARMY
    So it will help civilization prosper?
[07:44] YACHIYO
    Ultimately, yes.
[07:49] DOORMAN
    You're in high spirits.
    Excited to do some real repair work for once?
[07:54] DOORMAN
    You're the man, bossman.
[07:57] YACHIYO
    Next up, please answer this survey
    for extraterrestrial guests.
[08:02] HARMY
    What's that?
[08:04] YACHIYO
    In order to provide a more accepting
    and comfortable stay,
[08:06] YACHIYO
    we ask our guests about their cultural
    customs and habits in advance.
[08:15] YACHIYO
    Thank you kindly.
[08:17] YACHIYO
    Allow me to show you to your room.
[08:20] HARMY
    Before that,
[08:21] HARMY
    I'd like to check my
    storm-and-slaughter suit for safekeeping.
[08:35] PONKO
    Harmy's kind of cute.
[08:37] FUGURI
    He's all wobbly.
[08:39] EV CHECKER
    That suit must be what's really destructive.
[08:50] BUMBUKU
    Ponko! Fuguri!
[08:51] PONKOFUGURI
    Dad!
[08:53] BUMBUKU
    Oh, you're all right!
[08:54] BUMBUKU
    What's this stupid kangaroo? Out of my way!
[09:03] PONKOFUGURI
    No! Dad!
[09:05] EV CHECKER
    Okay, maybe it wasn't the suit.
[09:06] PONKOFUGURI
    Please don't die!
[09:07] YACHIYO
    We can arrange dinner for you.
    Would you like to dine with us?
[09:16] HARMY
    There are Nudels on this planet?
[09:19] HARMY
    I'll have this, then.
[09:20] YACHIYO
    We must apologize.
[09:22] YACHIYO
    We're currently out of ingredients
    for the Twilight Nudel Sauté.
[09:27] YACHIYO
    Only one Nudel appeared, around 50 years ago.
[09:30] HARMY
    Only one Nudel?
[09:32] YACHIYO
    Yes.
[09:33] YACHIYO
    All of the other dishes
    on the menu are available.
[09:37] HARMY
    I'll have your recommendation, then.
[09:43] YACHIYO
    I'm glad that he seemed to like it.
[09:48] YACHIYO
    Yes, he really ate it all.
[09:50] PONKO
    Yachiyo!
[09:51] YACHIYO
    Ponko? What's the matter?
[09:53] PONKO
    You gotta see this! It's asponishing!
[10:00] HARMY
    Nudels don't act alone.
[10:03] HARMY
    I found them lying dormant
    underground, as I thought.
[10:09] HARMY
    This was all of them on this planet.
[10:12] PONKO
    Earth was gonna be covered
    in worms! In the Nudel!
[10:18] HARMY
    I'd like to have these for my meals
    starting tomorrow. Can you do that?
[10:23] YACHIYO
    Certainly.
[10:29] PONKO
    Is Yachiyo...
[10:32] PONKO
    falling in love?!
SIGN    Our Only Vice Is Service
[10:52] YACHIYO
    Got it. We'll begin our stand-up—
[11:03] HARMY
    All I did was hit the bell.
[11:05] YACHIYO
    Please don't worry about it.
    May I help you with something?
[11:10] HARMY
    I want to learn about the former
    civilization of this planet.
[11:13] HARMY
    Come with me.
[11:14] YACHIYO
    I'm sorry?
[11:24] DOORMAN
    Whoa! What was that?!
[11:25] PONKO
    Yachiyo!
[12:11] HARMY
    There isn't an intelligent life form out there
    that can control its own progress.
[12:16] HARMY
    This trip should have shown you what this
    planet's dominant life form did to itself—
[12:20] YACHIYO
    Why?
[12:23] YACHIYO
    Why would you do this?!
[12:28] YACHIYO
    Today, I was supposed to repair
    the cold storage with Cook Robot
[12:31] YACHIYO
    and carry out Doorman Robot's
    regular maintenance.
[12:34] YACHIYO
    Then I was going to continue drilling
    at the hot spring site.
[12:37] YACHIYO
    You took me with you without
    even asking me if I was free
[12:40] YACHIYO
    and consequently delayed every
    task on my docket!
[12:43] YACHIYO
    Didn't it strike you that these delays may
    eventually snowball into a major issue?!
[12:47] YACHIYO
    Also, I see no causal link between
     humanity's progress and their departure!
[12:53] YACHIYO
    I can assume you show a similar lack of
    reflection when ending civilizations as well!
[12:57] YACHIYO
    In conclusion, I find your actions today
[13:00] YACHIYO
    to be willful obstruction of business!
[13:15] PONKO
    Harmy!
[13:17] PONKO
    How could you drag a girl out
    with you until this hour?!
[13:19] PONKO
    Do you even like Yachiyo?
[13:22] PONKO
    Stop this nonsense
    if you're not serious about her!
[13:25] HARMY
    What are you talking about?
    I'm serious in everything I do.
[13:29] PONKO
    You can end civilizations but can't
    put two and two together, eh?
[13:55] AVIOR
    I recognize this evil aura.
    He's here, Dr. Becrux.
[13:59] BECRUX
    Indeed. We've finally
    cornered him, Captain Avior.
[14:03] AVIOR
    Start your search, Mighty Cuff.
[14:05] CUFF
    Mighty!
[14:15] CUFF
    Mighty?
[14:24] AVIOR
    Tonight, we avenge all the lives you've taken!
[14:27] BECRUX
    They may call you the Starborne Scourge,
    but I will take you down and have my revenge!
[14:32] CUFF
    Mighty!
[14:34] AVIOR
    Heroes! Get set!
[14:37] CUFF
    Migh...
[14:38] AVIOR
    Go!
[14:41] CUFF
    Mighty!
[15:59] AVIOR
    Now!
[16:00] CUFF
    Mighty!
[16:02] CUFF
    Mighty...
[16:10] CUFF
    Mighty!
[16:27] AVIOR
    We got him...
[16:36] AVIOR
    That monster!
[16:37] CUFF
    M-Mighty...
[16:47] PONKO
    It's good as new, thanks to Nancey!
[16:49] YACHIYO
    Indeed.
[16:51] YACHIYO
    There's a mark.
[16:53] DOORMAN
    Our guest has returned.
[16:58] YACHIYO
    Welcome back.
[17:02] YACHIYO
    You're injured!
SIGN    Adhesive Bandages
SIGN    Cough Syrup
[17:11] HARMY
    Why didn't you just ignore it?
[17:13] YACHIYO
    A guest, injured during their stay?
[17:16] YACHIYO
    No hotelier worth their salt would ignore that.
[17:19] YACHIYO
    Here you are.
[17:23] HARMY
    Oops.
[17:26] YACHIYO
    I'll bring another glass.
[17:27] HARMY
    Nah, it's fine.
[17:29] YACHIYO
    As you wish.
[17:36] HARMY
    Do you not find me troublesome?
[17:39] YACHIYO
    Well, you are something of a problem guest.
[17:43] HARMY
    Do you still treat those as kings?
[17:45] YACHIYO
    Not always. I've been known to
    chase out or even punch them.
[17:50] HARMY
    Shouldn't you be doing the same to me?
[17:53] YACHIYO
    There's a difference between willful
    destruction and accidental breakage.
[18:00] YACHIYO
    I hope you'll refrain from
    destroying me, at least.
[18:07] HARMY
    Can you show me around this area?
[18:11] HARMY
    Say no if you can't.
[18:14] YACHIYO
    I'd be glad to.
[18:15] YACHIYO
    Please follow me.
[18:17] HARMY
    Okay.
[18:19] PONKO
    I knew it...
[18:21] PONKO
    It's love!
[18:29] HARMY
    Do you not feel lonely?
[18:32] YACHIYO
    "Lonely"? I'm afraid
    I don't quite understand.
[18:35] HARMY
    Do you not feel empty inside?
[18:38] YACHIYO
    "Empty inside"? I'm afraid
    I don't quite understand.
[18:47] YACHIYO
    May I ask you something, too?
[18:51] HARMY
    What is it?
[18:53] YACHIYO
    Why do you end civilizations?
[18:56] HARMY
    I've seen what results from a civilization's
    unbridled progress more than enough times.
[19:03] YACHIYO
    I don't quite understand.
[19:11] HARMY
    You're fine that way.
[19:18] DOORMAN
    Welcome back.
[19:20] YACHIYO
    Thank you. I can take over now.
[19:24] HARMY
    Sorry you had to do that for me.
[19:26] YACHIYO
    Please don't mention it.
    Did you have a satisfying time?
[19:31] HARMY
    Yeah. I might just have.
[19:34] YACHIYO
    I'm happy to have been of service.
[19:37] PONKO
    This is definitely...
[19:38] PONKO
    Love!
[19:40] HARMY
    I'm checking out. Do the paperwork.
[19:43] YACHIYO
    Huh?
[19:44] PONKO
    Huh?
[19:45] PONKO
    What?!
[19:50] YACHIYO
    I wish you would have told us sooner
    that you had decided on it.
[19:54] HARMY
    The longer I stay in one place,
    the more enemies will show up to kill me.
[20:01] PONKO
    Oh.
[20:05] YACHIYO
    Thank you so much
    for choosing to stay with us.
[20:08] HARMY
    Thanks for having me.
[20:21] PONKO
    Wait, Harmy!
[20:25] HARMY
    What?
[20:26] PONKO
    Are you really leaving by yourself?
[20:28] HARMY
    What do you mean?
[20:30] PONKO
    I mean...
[20:32] YACHIYO
    What's the matter?
[20:33] PONKO
    I mean...
[20:35] PONKO
    We went and fitted a couples' seat
    in your spaceship for you!
[20:42] HARMY
    When did you do that?
[20:43] PONKO
    Is that really important right now?!
[20:45] PONKO
    Not that I'd know! Dad's the one who did it!
[20:47] YACHIYO
    Ponko. We mustn't touch a guest's
    belongings without permission.
[20:51] PONKO
    I'm sorry. But we did it for you, Yachiyo!
[20:55] YACHIYO
    Pardon me? I certainly didn't ask for this.
[20:59] PONKO
    You didn't, but...
[21:06] PONKO
    Harmy!
[21:09] YACHIYO
    We eagerly await your next stay with us.
[21:19] PONKO
    He's leaving! He's really leaving, Yachiyo!
[21:22] YACHIYO
    He is.
[21:37] PONKO
    What was that for, Harmy?!
[21:39] PONKO
    You really were mad she yelled at you, huh?!
[22:05] HARMY
    Build a civilization that will make me
    want to come back and destroy it.
[22:15] PONKO
    Harmy...
[22:17] YACHIYO
    I don't know why...
[22:19] YACHIYO
    But something inside of me—
[22:21] YACHIYO
    something warm is trying
    to burst out of me, too.
[22:24] PONKO
    Yachiyo...
[22:26] PONKO
    That's love. That's what love is.
[22:39] PONKO
    Harmy, you moron!
[22:42] PONKO
    Harmy, you coward!
[22:47] PONKO
    Pussy kangaroo!
[22:53] [SONG] CREDITSFINALPAGE
    Translation: Sriram Gurunathan
    
    Editing & Typesetting: Geoff Mazzolini
    
    Subtitle Timing: Mariana Martinez