E12 - An Ordinary, Run-of-the-Mill Guy: Former Death Row Inmate, Satake Hirofumi

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Chaser 1
    Where is he?
[00:03] Chaser 2
    Find him!
[00:04] Chaser 2
    They won't get away from us!
[00:07] Satake/I
    My name is Satake Hirofumi.
SIGN    Satake Hirofumi
[00:09] Satake/I
    I'm an ordinary, run-of-the-mill guy who's
    facing the biggest danger of his life!
[00:16] Kito
    What is being ordinary, do you think?
[00:19] Satake
    Huh?
[00:20] Kito
    No, now is not the time
    to be distracting ourselves.
[00:23] Kito
    We must hurry.
[00:25] Satake
    Y-Yes.
[00:27] Satake
    We have to go rescue Chie.
[00:30] Satake
    Kito-san?
[00:31] Kito
    It seems that I don't have
    a bounty on my head.
[00:35] Satake
    Huh? Whoa!
[00:39] Kito
    Satake went that way!
[00:41] Chaser 2
    What?!
[00:42] Chaser 1
    Are you sure?
[00:43] Kito
    Let's go!
[00:43] Kito
    Follow me!
[00:47] Chasers
    That way!
[00:53] Satake
    Kito-san...
[00:55] Kito/I
    Satake-san, best of luck to you.
[00:57] Chaser 3
    Hold on.
[00:59] Kito
    Eh?
[01:00] Chaser 3
    You're the Japanese guy who
    was with Satake earlier.
[01:03] Chaser 3
    I saw you.
[01:05] Kito
    Well, I...
[01:08] Chaser 2
    What's going on here?
[01:10] Chaser 1
    Did you lie to us?!
[01:12] Kito/I
    Oh no...
[01:14] Kito/I
    Is this the end for me?
[01:38] ---
    The Human Crazy University
SIGN    Episode 12
SIGN    An Ordinary,
     Run-of-the-Mill Guy
SIGN    Former Death Row Inmate
    Satake Hirofumi
[02:51] Satake
    Anyhow, I must get over there...
[02:54] Chaser 4
    There he is!
[02:56] Satake
    What?!
[02:56] Satake
    They found me already?!
[03:00] Chaser 4
    Hold it right there, bounty!
[03:03] Satake
    They'll eventually catch up to me.
[03:05] Andre
    Bro!
[03:06] Satake
    Huh?
[03:08] Satake
    Andre? Miguel?!
[03:10] Andre
    Get in!
[03:15] Chaser 4
    Shit!
[03:18] Andre
    You haven't changed at all.
[03:19] Miguel
    We knew you'd be cheating death again.
[03:23] Satake
    Y-You two... But why?
[03:25] Andre
    That guy brought us here.
[03:28] Satake
    That guy?
[03:29] Professor
    Hello.
[03:30] Professor
    It's been a while, Satake-san.
[03:32] Professor
    I knew you'd be alive.
[03:35] Satake
    P-Professor?!
[03:37] Professor
    That's my research sample for you.
[03:40] Professor
    May I please dissect your brain sometime?
[03:42] Satake
    Absolutely not!
[03:43] Satake
    But your timing is good.
[03:46] Satake
    Please take me to the Tower of David!
[03:48] Professor
    Are you sure?
[03:49] Professor
    The guys chasing after you seem
    to be coming from that direction.
[03:54] Satake
    Please!
[03:57] Professor
    Seems like you've gotten
    involved in something exciting.
[04:01] Professor
    Let's go.
[04:03] Satake
    Thank you... whoa!
[04:06] Andre
    Bro!
[04:07] Satake
    H-Hey!
[04:08] Miguel
    Let go, idiot!
[04:10] Chaser 5
    No, you let go, idiot!
[04:12] Andre
    Who's calling me idiot? You let go! Idiot!
[04:14] Satake
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
[04:16] Satake
    I'm gonna split in two!
[04:20] Miguel
    O-Oh, m-man!
[04:22] Andre
    Bro!
[04:25] Satake
    You guys!
[04:27] Chaser 5
    Stay quiet!
[04:30] Chaser 6
    All right! Now I'm rich!
[04:32] Chaser 7
    Nice work!
[04:35] Chaser 6
    O-Oh shit! Eyes on the road!
[04:36] Chaser 7
    Huh?
[04:48] Satake
    Ouch...
[04:53] Satake
    Hm?
[04:55] Satake
    Am I here?
[04:59] Chaser 5
    The truck's totaled!
[05:01] Chaser 5
    Where did he go?
[05:03] Satake
    Crap!
[05:13] Chaser 1
    Don't mess with us!
[05:15] Chaser 2
    I'll force Satake's whereabouts out of you!
[05:20] Kito
    Let's see if you can talk to me
    that way after you've learned who I am.
[05:25] Chaser 3
    Huh?
[05:26] Chaser 3
    Who the heck are you?
[05:27] Kito
    A seeker of food and
    mysteries throughout the world...
[05:32] Kito
    I am the exotic food and
    hidden land hunter, Kito Joji!
SIGN    Kito Joji
SIGN    Kito Joji
[05:39] Chaser 1;2;3
    Who cares?!
[05:42] Andre
    Hey, mister!
[05:43] Andre
    Bro got caught!
[05:44] Andre
    Turn back!
[05:45] Professor
    That's not possible.
[05:46] Professor
    We're being chased.
[05:49] Miguel
    Hey, check that out!
[05:50] Chaser 1
    Hold up, Japanese!
[05:52] Chaser 2
    Where did you hide Satake?!
[05:55] Kito
    I will not get caught!
[05:57] Kito
    Run, my body!
[05:59] Kito
    At light speed!
[06:05] Satake/I
    The video call came
    from high up in the building.
[06:10] Satake/I
    That must be where Chie is.
[06:13] Satake/I
    I need to get higher.
[06:17] Satake/I
    Oh no, they're here...
[06:21] Jack
    I love it.
[06:23] Jack
    Run, run!
[06:25] Chie
    Hirofumi!
[06:28] Jack
    As expected from Satake-kun.
[06:30] Jack
    He scurries quick, like a roach.
[06:33] Jack
    It's plenty entertaining as it is,
    but it could use a little more oomph.
[06:39] Jack
    Why don't we introduce a new player?
[06:46] Chaser 10
    He's apparently going up!
[06:49] Chaser 9
    Then let's head this way!
[06:50] Satake
    Oh no, they caught up with me!
[06:52] Satake
    I have to hide...
[06:56] Chaser 8
    I don't see him.
[06:57] Chaser 9
    Look harder!
[07:00] Satake/I
    Please, walk past me!
[07:02] Chaser 10
    Should we look in another room?
[07:04] Chaser 9
    Sure.
[07:06] Satake/I
    Th-that was close.
[07:08] Jose
    Hey, y'all!
[07:10] Jose
    I'm gonna have to ask you
    to follow my orders from now on.
[07:18] Chaser 9
    Huh? What do you want?
[07:20] Chaser 9
    You trying to hog the bounty for yourself?
[07:22] Chaser 9
    Then you're—
[07:28] Chaser 8; 10
    Holy shit!
[07:31] Satake/I
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What did he just do?!
[07:34] Jose
    Maybe you didn't hear me.
[07:36] Jose
    If you have a death wish, I'll oblige you.
[07:40] Chaser 8
    Are y-you...
[07:41] Chaser 8
    Jose Claudio of the Claudio family,
     by any chance?
SIGN    Jose Claudio
[07:47] Chaser 8
    I'll obey!
[07:48] Chaser 8
    I'll obey your orders!
[07:49] Chaser 10
    There's no one stupid enough
    to oppose the mafia in this country!
[07:54] Jose
    Good boy.
[07:56] Jose
    Hey there, Jack.
[07:58] Jose
    From here on out, we can take over, yes?
[08:02] Jack
    Sure,
[08:02] Jack
    and I'll pay you handsomely.
[08:04] Jack
    But in return...
[08:06] Jose
    Don't kill him too quick, right?
[08:09] Jose
    No worries.
[08:10] Jose
    Slow is my specialty.
[08:12] Chaser 8
    Of all people, we get Jose the Head Hunter.
[08:15] Chaser 8
    Supposedly, he cut off the heads
[08:17] Chaser 8
    of everyone who opposed him
    with that machete when he became the boss.
[08:23] Chaser 8
    So if we resist him, that's how we end up, huh?
[08:28] Jose
    Okay!
[08:30] Jose
    We'll search the other room, yeah?
[08:33] Jose
    Break a leg, everyone!
[08:39] Jose
    Just kidding!
[08:41] Jose
    Nice to meet you, Satake-san!
[08:46] Jose
    Oh, playing tag, are we?
[08:50] Jose
    Come on, run! Run for your life!
[08:57] Jack
    Oh, Jose, you're such an entertainer!
[09:01] Jack
    You're just barely missing his vitals!
[09:05] Jack
    You're a professional!
[09:07] Chie
    Please, Jack!
[09:08] Chie
    I don't care what happens to me.
[09:10] Chie
    So please stop hurting Hirofumi!
[09:13] Jack
    What a beautiful bond you two share, Chie.
[09:16] Jack
    But it looks like we're
    approaching the finale.
[09:22] Jose
    Well then, everybody!
[09:24] Jose
    The party's in full swing,
[09:27] Jose
    but it's time to close it out
    with Jose Claudio's amputation show!
[09:35] Satake
    A-Amputation?!
[09:37] Jose
    So, everyone, what would you prefer?
[09:42] Jose
    A foot? An arm? Or...
[09:47] Underlings
    His head!
[09:48] Underlings
    His head, his head, his head!
[09:54] Jose
    Okay, okay.
[09:56] Jose
    I hear your request!
[10:00] Underlings
    Yeah!
[10:02] Underlings
    His head, his head, his head!
[10:04] Jose
    This is the end of him!
[10:09] Jose
    Hm?
[10:16] Jack
    Wh-What just happened?!
[10:18] Chie
    Hirofumi!
[10:25] Satake
    The floor gave way?
[10:29] Jose
    The show isn't over yet!
[10:38] Satake
    Good...
[10:39] Satake
    Huh?
[11:01] Jack
    So, a hanging can kill you after all!
[11:04] Jack
    Suffering your death penalty again
    is just like you, Satake!
[11:09] Chie
    Wake up, Hirofumi!
[11:12] Chie
    Please don't die!
[11:13] Jack
    It's useless, Chie!
[11:16] Jack
    He's finally dead!
[11:18] Jack
    I win!
[11:25] Chie
    You didn't win.
[11:29] Jack
    Did you say something?
[11:33] Chie
    You may talk and act big,
[11:35] Chie
    but you're nothing but a pathetic coward
[11:38] Chie
    who can only act big
    toward the defenseless!
[11:40] Chie
    Look at Hirofumi!
[11:43] Chie
    He may be powerless,
    but he risked his life to save me!
[11:48] Chie
    He's nothing like you!
[11:50] Chie
    He didn't lose!
[11:52] Chie
    To a coward and weakling like you—
[11:58] Jack
    You shouldn't run your mouth like that.
[12:01] Jack
    Seems like I need to punish you later.
[12:07] Jack
    It's me.
[12:09] Jack
    Bring me the helicopter.
[12:14] Sign
    The Human Crazy University
[12:17] Sign
    The Human Crazy University
[12:23] Jack
    That game wasn't too bad.
[12:29] Jack
    Where is it?
[12:31] Jack
    What are they doing?
[12:35] Jack
    What's that noise?
[12:36] Jack
    Wind?
[12:40] Jack
    No, a groan?
[12:44] Jack
    Who is it?!
[12:47] Satake
    Jack!
[12:54] Satake
    Give Chie back to me!
[13:00] Jack
    You're supposed to be dead!
[13:07] Jack
    You're a monster!
[13:17] Chie
    Hirofumi?
[13:21] Satake
    Oh, Chie.
[13:22] Satake
    Are you all right?
[13:25] Chie
    Am I all right?
[13:27] Chie
    You're the one who's all beaten up.
[13:29] Chie
    But I'm glad you're alive.
[13:32] Satake
    I may have bad luck, but when it comes
    to the people in my life, I'm blessed.
[13:42] Satake/I
    Is this it for me?
[13:47] Chie
    Hirofumi!
[13:49] (Flashback) Satake
    I can't die just yet!
[14:00] (Flashback) Carlos
    Don't die, Japanese!
[14:02] (Flashback) Carlos
    I haven't repaid you yet.
[14:05] Satake
    He's the one who rescued me.
[14:08] Chie
    You're from...
[14:13] Professor
    Satake-san!
[14:13] Andre
    Bro!
[14:15] Miguel
    Are you okay?
[14:16] Kito
    Negishi-san!
[14:17] Satake
    Everyone!
[14:18] Satake
    You're all okay!
[14:23] Chie
    It's over, huh?
[14:25] Satake
    Yeah.
[14:27] Chie
    Watch out!
[14:35] Satake
    Chie!
[14:41] Jack
    I guess that makes us even.
[14:43] Jack
    I'll invite you to play
    another game soon, Satake.
[14:48] Jack
    Bye-bye!
[14:52] Satake
    Chie! Chie!
[14:55] Satake
    Chie!
[14:59] Jack
    You're late!
[15:01] Jack
    What took you so long?!
[15:03] Ijuin
    Our discussion took
    a bit longer than it should.
[15:07] Jack
    Huh?
[15:08] Jack
    Nothing is more important
    than my orders, you hear?
[15:11] Jack
    Take me back to the base now, you scum—
[15:15] Jack
    What are you—
[15:16] Ijuin
    Could you please stop spewing
     your fetid breath in here?
[15:20] Ijuin
    I'd rather not pollute the air in here.
[15:23] Rukawa
    The discussion got quite heated.
[15:28] (Flashback) Jack'S Father
    Do whatever you want with my son!
[15:31] (Flashback) Jack'S Father
    He's in Caracas right now!
[15:33] (Flashback) Jack'S Father
    So please, spare me!
[15:38] (Flashback) Ijuin
    Selling out your own child
    to save your life?
[15:41] (Flashback) Ijuin
    Like father, like son, I suppose.
[15:46] Jack
    What are you talking about?!
[15:48] Jack
    I'll kill you all!
[15:50] Jack
    Wha... He disappeared?!
[15:56] Ijuin
    Shut up already.
[15:58] Ijuin
    Where you're going
    is not your base, but hell.
[16:03] Ijuin
    Die in pain as you repent for your sins.
[16:12] Rukawa
    But it seems that we were indeed too late.
[16:17] Ijuin
    No, I wouldn't say that.
[16:21] Satake
    Chie...
[16:22] Satake
    How did it come to this?
[16:25] Chie
    Um, Hirofumi?
[16:29] Chie
    I think I'm okay.
[16:31] Chie
    I'm not hurt at all.
[16:32] Satake
    Huh?
[16:33] Satake
    But how?
[16:34] Satake
    You got shot in the chest, didn't you?
[16:37] Chie
    I did.
[16:39] Chie
    What's this?
[16:44] Satake
    A cream puff?!
[16:46] Satake
    Oh, hell no!
[16:48] Satake
    You couldn't possibly stop a
    bullet with a cream puff!
SIGN    I agree
[16:50] Cream Puff
    I agree.
[16:52] Professor
    I wouldn't be so sure.
[16:54] Professor
    Custard cream contains cornstarch,
    making it a dilatant fluid.
SIGN    Dilatancy
SIGN    Dilatant Fluid
[16:59] Cream Puff
    Dilatancy.
[17:01] Satake
    Dilatant fluid?
[17:03] Professor
    Its normal state is fluid,
SIGN    Separate particles in fluid
[17:06] Professor
    but when it's met with
    a sudden force, it becomes solid.
SIGN    When pressured, particles are instantly aligned
[17:14] Professor
    In the US, they're using this principle
[17:16] Professor
    to develop a ballistic vest with
    bulletproof fiber soaked in dilatant fluid.
SIGN    Soaking in~
[17:23] Professor
    However, it's impossible
    to stop a bullet with the
[17:26] Professor
    amount of custard cream inside a cream puff.
[17:29] Professor
    This is a bug.
[17:31] Professor
    Just as expected from Satake-san's fiancée.
[17:39] Chie
    I-Is Hirofumi's bad luck rubbing off on me?
[17:48] Chie
    Hirofumi?
[17:50] Satake
    Thank goodness!
[17:52] Satake
    Thank goodness!
[18:01] Rukawa
    Next stop, hell!
[18:13] Andre
    Don't forget about us
    after you're back in Japan, Bro!
[18:18] Satake
    Of course I won't.
[18:20] Miguel
    Let's go blossom viewing again sometime, Bro!
[18:23] Satake
    Yeah, it's a promise.
[18:25] Satake
    Next time, I'll show you
    the cherry blossoms in Japan.
[18:29] Kito
    Well, then, I should get going soon.
[18:32] Chie
    You're not going back to Japan?
[18:36] Kito
    Now that I'm in Latin America,
[18:39] Kito
    I will continue to enjoy more
    exotic food and hidden lands.
[18:44] Chie
    You never change.
[18:46] Chie
    Oh, but what about
    your plane tickets and such?
[18:49] Kito
    Oh, don't worry about that.
[18:51] Kito
    I'm used to taking care of that myself.
[18:55] Kito
    By the way, Negishi-san.
[18:57] Kito
    I'm giving you a break for a while.
[19:01] Chie
    Eh?
[19:03] Kito
    You should spend time with him for now.
[19:08] Kito
    The winners in life are
    the ones who enjoy it.
[19:11] Kito
    Please make up the time you didn't
    get to spend with Satake-san.
[19:16] Chie
    Kito-san... Thank you.
[19:21] Kito
    Oh, I almost forgot.
[19:24] Kito
    I happened to find this on the ground.
[19:27] Kito
    It is important to you, isn't it?
[19:29] Chie
    Yes, it's an important amulet.
[19:35] Kito
    Well, then, thank you for Latin America!
[19:43] Professor
    Hello, Ijuin-san?
[19:46] Professor
    Regarding the subject we discussed,
    I'd love to come observe in person.
[19:54] Chie
    It's finally over.
[19:57] Satake
    Yeah.
[19:59] Satake
    But I'm still concerned about Jack.
[20:02] Satake
    He got away.
[20:03] Professor
    That shouldn't be a problem.
[20:06] Professor
    He will never trouble you ever again.
[20:10] Satake
    How do you know?
[20:12] Professor
    That's...
[20:14] Professor
    something you don't have to know.
[20:18] Satake
    So, who exactly are you
    and what did you want after all?
[20:23] Professor
    I've been telling you from the beginning.
[20:26] Professor
    I just want to research
    someone special like you.
[20:34] Satake
    I'm not special at all.
[20:37] Satake
    A lot of people have helped me,
[20:40] Satake
    encouraged me, and supported me,
[20:44] Satake
    and that's how I've survived.
[20:48] Satake
    That's all there is to it.
[20:53] Satake
    I'm just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill guy.
[21:00] Satake
    I-I'm sorry!
[21:01] Original Satake
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[21:03] Original Satake
    I wasn't looking...
[21:04] Original Satake
    Please excuse me.
[21:06] Satake
    That's all, I believe.
[21:08] Original Satake
    Thank you.
[21:10] Original Satake
    Excuse me.
[21:13] Satake
    What's wrong, you two?
[21:14] Chie
    That man looked exactly like you.
[21:18] Satake
    Eh? Really?
[21:20] Chie
    I don't just mean a similar face.
[21:22] Chie
    You were identical!
[21:24] Chie
    Like he was your doppelgänger!
[21:26] Satake
    That much?
[21:27] Satake
    His voice and stuff were
     totally different, though.
[21:30] Professor
    They say that if you see
    your doppelgänger, you die.
[21:37] Satake
    Please stop!
[21:42] Chie
    What do you want to do when you get home?
[21:44] Satake
    For starters, I'd love to
    eat your home cooking!
[21:49] Chie
    Sure thing.
[21:51] Satake
    I'm excited!
[21:53] Satake
    Oh, and I want to sleep on your lap,
[21:55] Satake
    and you can clean my ears.
[21:57] Chie
    Oh, fine.
[22:00] Satake
    And then, and then...
[22:02] Chie
    Oh, stop it, you!
[22:06] Chie
    Then we should take turns!
[22:07] Satake
    Of course!
[22:09] Satake
    I'll do anything!